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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,627 --> 00:00:02,360 Okay, guys, I know you have been getting 2 00:00:02,362 --> 00:00:03,995 a little bored with the products that we have been selling, 3 00:00:03,997 --> 00:00:06,631 so today is very exciting, 4 00:00:06,633 --> 00:00:10,235 'cause we are going to start selling a new product! 5 00:00:10,237 --> 00:00:12,403 Well, that's the thing though, is I don't sell products. 6 00:00:12,405 --> 00:00:15,039 I sell, like, vibes, and right now 7 00:00:16,169 --> 00:00:19,104 the only vibe I'm catching is that you looking good, girl. 8 00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,805 - Down, boy. - Ow! 9 00:00:20,807 --> 00:00:22,640 Now, I could read off of some 10 00:00:22,642 --> 00:00:25,310 boring, old product info pamphlet, 11 00:00:25,312 --> 00:00:27,212 but I thought it would be a lot more fun 12 00:00:27,214 --> 00:00:30,682 if we brought in the inventor of the product himself, 13 00:00:30,684 --> 00:00:33,518 so put your hands together for Fireman Ted, huh? 14 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:34,719 [clapping] 15 00:00:34,721 --> 00:00:36,154 Huh. Thank you, thank you. 16 00:00:36,156 --> 00:00:37,322 Thank you, Miss Murphy, very much. 17 00:00:37,324 --> 00:00:38,456 Oh, well, thank you, Fireman Ted. 18 00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:40,125 I thank all of you for your time. 19 00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,527 Let's just say that one night you're out 20 00:00:42,529 --> 00:00:45,497 with your best friends and extended family 21 00:00:45,499 --> 00:00:48,666 enjoying a couple of platters of Johnsonville brats 22 00:00:48,668 --> 00:00:51,369 when suddenly, you smell heavy heavy smoke, 23 00:00:51,371 --> 00:00:53,972 and you turn around only to find 24 00:00:53,974 --> 00:00:57,542 that you are all trapped by a raging fire. 25 00:00:57,544 --> 00:01:00,378 Blinded by the smoke, you call out to your buddies, 26 00:01:00,380 --> 00:01:03,014 "Hey, buddies, where are ya? Where are ya?" 27 00:01:03,016 --> 00:01:06,418 but they can't hear you because of the roar of the raging fire, 28 00:01:06,420 --> 00:01:09,988 and they cannot respond because of the noxious smoke 29 00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:12,557 that is searing their lungs. [coughs] 30 00:01:12,559 --> 00:01:15,527 And then they die, 31 00:01:15,529 --> 00:01:18,730 and I'm talking crispy critter dead. 32 00:01:18,732 --> 00:01:22,067 And you spend the rest of your life 33 00:01:22,069 --> 00:01:25,537 just wishing there was something you could have done 34 00:01:25,539 --> 00:01:29,607 to prevent that horror. 35 00:01:29,609 --> 00:01:30,942 The Smoke Cutter. 36 00:01:30,944 --> 00:01:34,145 A safety whistle with a built-in air filter 37 00:01:34,147 --> 00:01:37,549 which allows its user to breathe smoke-free 38 00:01:37,551 --> 00:01:41,686 while simultaneously emitting a very distinct whistle. 39 00:01:41,688 --> 00:01:43,421 [blows distorted whistle] 40 00:01:43,423 --> 00:01:45,924 Um, do you think you're on "Shark Tank" right now? 41 00:01:45,926 --> 00:01:47,092 - [laughter] - Oh, put that please 42 00:01:47,094 --> 00:01:48,960 in my mou-outh. 43 00:01:48,962 --> 00:01:50,728 I don't care what you people think, 44 00:01:50,730 --> 00:01:52,397 we are selling these Smoke Cutters, 45 00:01:52,399 --> 00:01:53,765 and that is final. 46 00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:55,467 You really think there's any good reason 47 00:01:55,469 --> 00:01:57,435 we're gonna sell anything made by this dork? 48 00:01:57,437 --> 00:02:00,472 Because... this dork is my dad! 49 00:02:00,474 --> 00:02:02,440 [blows distorted whistle] 50 00:02:02,442 --> 00:02:03,910 [The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"] 51 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:08,107 Synced and corrected by MasterCookie - www.addic7ed.com - 52 00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:11,082 You gotta, you gotta, you gotta... gotta 53 00:02:11,084 --> 00:02:12,417 Gotta be fresh 54 00:02:14,421 --> 00:02:15,987 - Ya! - Ninja star! 55 00:02:15,989 --> 00:02:19,023 How dare the two of you smoke the rest of my stash! 56 00:02:19,025 --> 00:02:22,127 You know that today I didn't "wake and bake," I just waked. 57 00:02:22,129 --> 00:02:23,962 Ow! You son of a gun! 58 00:02:23,964 --> 00:02:25,563 Ow! Oh, that one freakin' hurt. 59 00:02:25,565 --> 00:02:26,965 - Dude, are you hurting? - Yeah, that one sliced me. 60 00:02:26,967 --> 00:02:28,466 - Okay, excuse me. - Not. 61 00:02:28,468 --> 00:02:31,736 Excuse me. You guys haven't sold one whistle. 62 00:02:31,738 --> 00:02:33,471 Okay, you know what? Stop "effing" around 63 00:02:33,473 --> 00:02:35,073 and get back on the phones, now! 64 00:02:35,075 --> 00:02:37,442 Look, I don't want to offend you or diss you 65 00:02:37,444 --> 00:02:39,811 by saying what I'm about to say, but... 66 00:02:39,813 --> 00:02:42,413 Your dad's Smoke Cutters blow ass. 67 00:02:42,415 --> 00:02:45,650 If I shit in a tin cup, you should be able to sell it. 68 00:02:45,652 --> 00:02:47,418 We could probably sell that a little easier 69 00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:49,420 because of, like, fetish sites and stuff. 70 00:02:49,422 --> 00:02:52,123 - Yeah. - People are freaks, Alice. 71 00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:53,758 - Ugh. - Ew! 72 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,126 Actually, I'll take one. 73 00:02:55,128 --> 00:02:56,828 Okay, look, I'm sorry, but I need you guys 74 00:02:56,830 --> 00:03:00,064 to sell these, okay, because my dad has been driving me crazy 75 00:03:00,066 --> 00:03:02,767 about giving him grandkids, so to get him off my ass, 76 00:03:02,769 --> 00:03:04,569 I said, "Why don't you take a business class? 77 00:03:04,571 --> 00:03:05,870 Invent something." 78 00:03:05,872 --> 00:03:07,772 Then he sunk his life-freaking-savings 79 00:03:07,774 --> 00:03:11,109 into these stupid whistles, so we have to sell them, 80 00:03:11,111 --> 00:03:14,012 or I gotta find a hubby and shoot a pup out my hoo-hoo. 81 00:03:14,014 --> 00:03:16,114 I hear you loud and clear. 82 00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:18,349 - [laughs] Oh, there you are. - [laughs] 83 00:03:18,351 --> 00:03:20,185 This place is a labyrinth. 84 00:03:20,187 --> 00:03:23,788 Hey, how's it going? Let me sidle up next to you 85 00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:27,358 and let you know that my intentions with your daughter 86 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,495 have been and always will be pure. Hi, I'm Adam. 87 00:03:30,497 --> 00:03:31,896 You two are dating? 88 00:03:31,898 --> 00:03:33,398 - Oh. [laughs] - Yes, 89 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,133 in a very significant way. 90 00:03:35,135 --> 00:03:37,969 It started off purely physical, but then it got emotional, 91 00:03:37,971 --> 00:03:39,537 and then it went back to physical, 92 00:03:39,539 --> 00:03:41,005 but my intentions are pure. I want you to know that. 93 00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:42,640 - [laughs] They are. - Ow. They are. 94 00:03:42,642 --> 00:03:44,342 [both lahing] Ow. They are. 95 00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:47,212 Yeah, Adam and I are... dating. 96 00:03:47,214 --> 00:03:48,513 Anyway, but I wanted to tell you, 97 00:03:48,515 --> 00:03:50,815 the boys are, like, super excited 98 00:03:50,817 --> 00:03:52,050 to sell your Smoke Cutters, aren't you, guys? 99 00:03:52,052 --> 00:03:53,518 - Oh? Ooh, nice. - Yeah. 100 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,588 So, let's get down to it. How many you sold? 101 00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:59,023 Dozen? Two dozen? 102 00:03:59,025 --> 00:04:00,892 - Zero. - Zero for now, 103 00:04:00,894 --> 00:04:02,527 but we are gonna call in 104 00:04:02,529 --> 00:04:05,330 a very wonderful sales consultant 105 00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,565 and just see if he can't work some magic for us, right, guys? 106 00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:09,067 - Yeah, yeah. - And he will. 107 00:04:09,069 --> 00:04:10,568 I mean, we were just talking about how fantastic 108 00:04:10,570 --> 00:04:12,737 - this Smoke Cutter product is. - Oh, yeah. 109 00:04:12,739 --> 00:04:16,074 It's the second most fantastic thing you've created, hmm? 110 00:04:16,076 --> 00:04:19,377 - [laughs] Yeah, oh. - [chuckles] 111 00:04:19,379 --> 00:04:21,713 The first being Alice. You guys got that, right? 112 00:04:21,715 --> 00:04:22,714 - We got it. - Yeah, okay, cool. 113 00:04:22,716 --> 00:04:24,015 No, we totally got it. 114 00:04:24,017 --> 00:04:25,216 Does this look good? 115 00:04:25,218 --> 00:04:27,952 It's my new "siggy." Adam Murphy. 116 00:04:27,954 --> 00:04:29,721 We gon' get "maweed." 117 00:04:29,723 --> 00:04:31,723 - Aw. - And you would take her name? 118 00:04:31,725 --> 00:04:32,924 Yeah. 119 00:04:32,926 --> 00:04:34,359 That's a bitch move, man. 120 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:35,560 Obviously, we know who the submissive one 121 00:04:35,562 --> 00:04:36,894 in that relationship is. 122 00:04:36,896 --> 00:04:39,264 How are we on this fine, uh, 123 00:04:39,266 --> 00:04:42,400 whatever-day-it-is morning or... afternoon? 124 00:04:42,402 --> 00:04:44,802 Uh, Karl, shut up, and then now talk 125 00:04:44,804 --> 00:04:46,871 and tell me why exactly you're in my office. 126 00:04:46,873 --> 00:04:48,973 It's your fault, okay? You were supposed to take me 127 00:04:48,975 --> 00:04:51,809 to him at lunch, so now he's making a delivery, okay? 128 00:04:51,811 --> 00:04:54,779 And I told him to blend in. I love your suit, Karl. 129 00:04:54,781 --> 00:04:56,714 Bazinga. 130 00:04:56,716 --> 00:04:58,116 Ooh. Okay, yeah, 131 00:04:58,118 --> 00:05:00,385 but can I just have you hold on for a second? 132 00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:02,620 Okay, what do we got here? We got some Green Crack... 133 00:05:02,622 --> 00:05:04,155 - Mm-hmm. Mmm. - Some Kosher Kush. 134 00:05:04,157 --> 00:05:06,124 I got a sativa dominant hybrid. 135 00:05:06,126 --> 00:05:08,293 Okay, yes, I like that. 136 00:05:08,295 --> 00:05:10,428 I don't want any of that Smoke Cutter thing, 137 00:05:10,430 --> 00:05:12,563 but let me get some of that weed. 138 00:05:12,565 --> 00:05:14,265 My dealer says SoCal's drying out, 139 00:05:14,267 --> 00:05:15,566 and I can't get good dank to save my life. 140 00:05:15,568 --> 00:05:16,768 You hit the wrong button. Hang up. 141 00:05:16,770 --> 00:05:19,170 Uh... wait, what's up? 142 00:05:19,172 --> 00:05:20,805 You're having trouble finding weed? 143 00:05:20,807 --> 00:05:22,140 - Is that real, the drought? - Yeah, it's a drought. 144 00:05:22,142 --> 00:05:23,408 - The drought. - [whispering] Hang up! 145 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,076 I could probably, like, hook you... 146 00:05:25,078 --> 00:05:28,179 hook you up with some... weed, but I mean... 147 00:05:28,181 --> 00:05:30,415 if you buy a whistle, I'll... 148 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:32,717 I'll throw in some of the sticky icky, huh? 149 00:05:32,719 --> 00:05:33,985 I'll take two, brav. 150 00:05:33,987 --> 00:05:35,653 - Oh. - Tell your friends 151 00:05:35,655 --> 00:05:38,122 we are in business over here. Give us a call, okay? 152 00:05:38,124 --> 00:05:39,624 And you have a nice one. 153 00:05:39,626 --> 00:05:41,092 Okay, I'm sorry, we're doing this? 154 00:05:41,094 --> 00:05:44,929 And that's two whistles sold. Let's go! 155 00:05:44,931 --> 00:05:46,297 [all talking at once] [blows distorted whistle] 156 00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:47,598 I hate this. This thing is really stupid. 157 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:48,700 You just sold two? 158 00:05:48,702 --> 00:05:50,601 Yes, I did. 159 00:05:50,603 --> 00:05:52,437 Sorry, who the hell are you? 160 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,805 Sales consultant. 161 00:05:53,807 --> 00:05:55,973 I thought our regular guy Devin was coming in. 162 00:05:55,975 --> 00:05:58,976 Oh, no. Devin got pink eyes. 163 00:05:58,978 --> 00:06:02,013 I'm Ted Murphy, inventor of Smoke Cutter. 164 00:06:02,015 --> 00:06:03,214 - Mm. - Welcome aboard. 165 00:06:03,216 --> 00:06:04,282 Thank you, nice to meet you, sir. 166 00:06:04,284 --> 00:06:06,384 I am Kyle Newacheck. 167 00:06:06,386 --> 00:06:09,087 [phone ringing] 168 00:06:09,089 --> 00:06:10,121 Yeah, hello. 169 00:06:10,123 --> 00:06:11,089 They're calling us? 170 00:06:11,091 --> 00:06:12,123 Absolutely. 171 00:06:12,125 --> 00:06:14,692 I can get you 4 ounces... 172 00:06:14,694 --> 00:06:15,893 of whistles. 173 00:06:15,895 --> 00:06:18,229 That would be, like, uh... 174 00:06:18,231 --> 00:06:19,731 it's, like, 32 whistles. I just... 175 00:06:19,733 --> 00:06:21,466 - OH. - Yeah, I just sold 32 whistles! 176 00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,967 - 32! - Yeah! 177 00:06:22,969 --> 00:06:25,470 This Newacheck guy is on fire. 178 00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:28,339 Okay, everyone, listen up, please, listen up! 179 00:06:28,341 --> 00:06:32,377 This is Kyle Newacheck, and he is a sales guru, 180 00:06:32,379 --> 00:06:34,879 so please listen to whatever he has to say. 181 00:06:34,881 --> 00:06:36,047 I don't think that's a good idea. 182 00:06:36,049 --> 00:06:37,415 Okay, cut the shit, Anders. 183 00:06:37,417 --> 00:06:38,916 You know what, he sells and you don't, 184 00:06:38,918 --> 00:06:41,586 so whatever he wants today ya fetch, stretch. 185 00:06:41,588 --> 00:06:44,655 - Dad? Sales. - No? All right. All right. 186 00:06:44,657 --> 00:06:46,090 - All right, let's go, Dad. - I love it. All right. 187 00:06:46,092 --> 00:06:47,558 It's a family thing. 188 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,527 Blake, why don't you go ahead and continue 189 00:06:49,529 --> 00:06:51,262 doing what you do and make some sales, 190 00:06:51,264 --> 00:06:54,399 and Anders, let's go to the break room. 191 00:06:54,401 --> 00:06:55,867 You're gonna microwave me some toast. 192 00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:01,672 Butter my toast, will you? 193 00:07:01,674 --> 00:07:07,912 Karl, get in your van and go before I make you. 194 00:07:07,914 --> 00:07:11,983 Okay. So you think this is your jungle 195 00:07:11,985 --> 00:07:15,553 and you're the dominant gorilla, but nah, brother. 196 00:07:15,555 --> 00:07:17,388 I'm the silverback daddy now. 197 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:20,558 That's exactly the kind of thing that a non-silverback... 198 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,594 what you said... would say, which I'm not gonna say 199 00:07:23,596 --> 00:07:27,799 or even repeat, because I am what this is, for real. 200 00:07:27,801 --> 00:07:29,734 [both slam fists on table] 201 00:07:30,937 --> 00:07:33,037 - So it's sexual? - What? 202 00:07:33,039 --> 00:07:34,372 You're taking my clothes off. 203 00:07:34,374 --> 00:07:36,073 You're trying to dominate me sexually. 204 00:07:36,075 --> 00:07:37,575 [laughs] No, I'm not. 205 00:07:37,577 --> 00:07:41,279 But I'm the dom, and you're the little sub, 206 00:07:41,281 --> 00:07:43,648 and guess what? I'ma get you 207 00:07:43,650 --> 00:07:46,584 hard as Plymouth Rock without even touching you. 208 00:07:46,586 --> 00:07:47,819 What? 209 00:07:50,256 --> 00:07:53,424 [moaning] 210 00:07:53,426 --> 00:07:55,760 You have lost your mind! 211 00:07:55,762 --> 00:07:58,563 - [gags] - I do not like this! 212 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,998 Oh, and did I mention? 213 00:08:03,436 --> 00:08:05,403 Did you mention what? 214 00:08:05,405 --> 00:08:08,439 Ahh. [whispering] I swallow. 215 00:08:08,441 --> 00:08:10,942 [dramatic music] 216 00:08:10,944 --> 00:08:12,677 I'm the dom! 217 00:08:14,247 --> 00:08:16,013 Butter drop, bitch. 218 00:08:16,015 --> 00:08:21,519 219 00:08:21,521 --> 00:08:23,054 Hey. 220 00:08:24,691 --> 00:08:27,458 221 00:08:33,265 --> 00:08:35,666 So here's the deal. 222 00:08:35,668 --> 00:08:38,502 We're selling weed with these stupid whistles. 223 00:08:38,504 --> 00:08:40,404 That's how I'm doing it. That's the secret. 224 00:08:40,406 --> 00:08:42,272 Look out. Hold up. 225 00:08:42,274 --> 00:08:44,174 How is this even close to legal? 226 00:08:44,176 --> 00:08:46,010 You got us selling weed over the phone? 227 00:08:46,012 --> 00:08:48,679 There's a reason we are really pushing these things, 228 00:08:48,681 --> 00:08:51,115 and it is because... 229 00:08:51,117 --> 00:08:53,717 W... you know. You saw Alice's dad. 230 00:08:53,719 --> 00:08:57,287 He is obviously... a dying man, isn't he? 231 00:08:57,289 --> 00:08:58,422 Oh. 232 00:08:58,424 --> 00:09:00,758 That would explain why Alice is 233 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,626 in the mood that she's in all the time. 234 00:09:02,628 --> 00:09:05,496 She is struggling with it, and she is asking us 235 00:09:05,498 --> 00:09:08,365 to be there for her, and the least we can do 236 00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:10,334 is push these damn whistles. 237 00:09:10,336 --> 00:09:11,335 You bastard! How dare you! 238 00:09:11,337 --> 00:09:12,870 [inspiring music] 239 00:09:12,872 --> 00:09:15,539 Let's do this for Alice, for Ted, for America. 240 00:09:15,541 --> 00:09:18,175 You know what? Let's ride or die for Ted. 241 00:09:18,177 --> 00:09:21,245 We gon' do it for Ted, everybody, and Alice. 242 00:09:21,247 --> 00:09:24,882 Now, who here has smoked pot before? 243 00:09:24,884 --> 00:09:27,184 Rip it, rip it, rip it, rip it, big ripper. 244 00:09:27,186 --> 00:09:29,019 - Lloyd, smoke up. - [coughs] 245 00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:30,954 Save some for me, you maniacs. [laughter] 246 00:09:30,956 --> 00:09:32,289 All right? Now, let's get out there 247 00:09:32,291 --> 00:09:34,691 and let's have a really big day. 248 00:09:34,693 --> 00:09:37,227 Let's sell some Smoke Cutters, all right? 249 00:09:37,229 --> 00:09:38,762 Let's go! 250 00:09:38,764 --> 00:09:40,197 This just feels natural, doesn't it? 251 00:09:40,199 --> 00:09:41,565 - Okay, just... - Mmm. 252 00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:43,167 Adam, please just chill out, okay? 253 00:09:43,169 --> 00:09:44,668 We are just faking it for a couple of more days 254 00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:46,003 until he leaves, all right? 255 00:09:46,005 --> 00:09:48,572 Yeah, but you know, we might fake it so hard 256 00:09:48,574 --> 00:09:51,208 that it ends up becoming rea you know? 257 00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:53,644 Did someone order Italian trio sammies, 258 00:09:53,646 --> 00:09:56,613 chicken Caesar salads, and Cherry Coke Zeroes? 259 00:09:56,615 --> 00:09:57,915 - I did! Whoo! - [laughs] 260 00:09:57,917 --> 00:09:58,916 I know my little girl. Yeah, you do. 261 00:09:58,918 --> 00:10:00,584 All right. 262 00:10:00,586 --> 00:10:04,021 Sweetheart, listen, next time your mom is in town, 263 00:10:04,023 --> 00:10:07,224 we have got to make reservations at this new restaurant 264 00:10:07,226 --> 00:10:09,927 - that Adam told her about. - It's so good. 265 00:10:09,929 --> 00:10:11,328 It's this little Italian bistro. 266 00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:14,865 Wait, Adam was telling Mom... what? 267 00:10:14,867 --> 00:10:17,000 Oh, yeah. We've been facebookin'. 268 00:10:17,002 --> 00:10:19,736 I think you guys should actually come out during Thanksgiving. 269 00:10:19,738 --> 00:10:21,438 You guys could stay in Ders's room. 270 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,908 Blake's room, hopefully, will be a nursery by that point. 271 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:28,112 Wait a minute now, is there some news I should know about? 272 00:10:28,114 --> 00:10:30,547 There is definitely no baby news. 273 00:10:30,549 --> 00:10:31,682 Adam is impotent. 274 00:10:33,452 --> 00:10:36,453 I-I-I'm really sorry to hear about that. 275 00:10:36,455 --> 00:10:39,123 Not as sorry as I am. I mean, it's a true story. 276 00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:41,358 It's sad, he's... he's... he shoots blanks. 277 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,795 But we're... we're going to the sperm doctor, 278 00:10:44,797 --> 00:10:46,230 and we picked some sperm out. 279 00:10:46,232 --> 00:10:48,432 You know what, Adam? I changed my mind. 280 00:10:48,434 --> 00:10:50,234 Uh, no, I don't think so. 281 00:10:50,236 --> 00:10:52,769 Just get off of me! Yes, I did, I changed my mind. 282 00:10:52,771 --> 00:10:54,471 Wait, so you don't want to have kids with me? 283 00:10:54,473 --> 00:10:56,907 I physically cannot, 'cause your dick does not work! 284 00:10:56,909 --> 00:10:58,909 Why do you gotta be so hurtful... to me? 285 00:10:58,911 --> 00:11:00,244 Yeah, we're gonna do it right now! 286 00:11:00,246 --> 00:11:01,979 We're gonna do it in front of your dad? 287 00:11:01,981 --> 00:11:03,881 - We're doing it right now! - Fine, you know what? 288 00:11:07,987 --> 00:11:09,720 You know what? Fine. 289 00:11:09,722 --> 00:11:12,189 Then I don't want to be with you, Alice Murphy. 290 00:11:12,191 --> 00:11:14,992 Consider yourself dumped. 291 00:11:14,994 --> 00:11:18,262 'Cause I'm not just a [bleep] toy. 292 00:11:18,264 --> 00:11:19,730 I'm a [bleep] person. 293 00:11:22,935 --> 00:11:24,201 Guys? What's going on here? 294 00:11:24,203 --> 00:11:25,669 [phones ringing] 295 00:11:25,671 --> 00:11:27,171 What the... 296 00:11:27,173 --> 00:11:30,340 Gil, your nipples are exposed. Get your... 297 00:11:30,342 --> 00:11:32,009 Hello? TelAmeriCorp. 298 00:11:32,011 --> 00:11:34,778 Hey, what's going on? Turn the... cartoons off. 299 00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:37,281 It is... actually a really good episode. Hello? 300 00:11:37,283 --> 00:11:39,516 Everybody's so high. I'm supposed to be high. 301 00:11:39,518 --> 00:11:41,318 Montez, Bill, pick up the phone. 302 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:42,853 - [both laughing] - Give me the weed. 303 00:11:42,855 --> 00:11:44,454 That's it, you've lost your weed privileges. 304 00:11:44,456 --> 00:11:46,156 - Give it to me. - Oh, that weed's gone, man. 305 00:11:46,158 --> 00:11:47,324 We smoked it all. 306 00:11:47,326 --> 00:11:48,892 You smoked all of the weed? 307 00:11:48,894 --> 00:11:51,395 Wow, that's real dog shit. 308 00:11:51,397 --> 00:11:53,130 Oh, look, you're back for more? 309 00:11:53,132 --> 00:11:55,499 You wish. Look, man, we need weed. 310 00:11:55,501 --> 00:11:57,568 Got all these orders, need to ship, like, now. 311 00:11:57,570 --> 00:11:59,369 All right, cool, man, I'll call my guy. 312 00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:01,438 In the meantime, why don't you go wash my van or something? 313 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,639 - [laughs] - Yeah. 314 00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:04,841 Yeah, I bet you'd like that. 315 00:12:04,843 --> 00:12:08,845 Soap suds just dancing down my chest, 316 00:12:08,847 --> 00:12:13,483 down to my... pelvic and pubic area. 317 00:12:13,485 --> 00:12:15,085 Want to see my nipples? 318 00:12:15,087 --> 00:12:17,087 Ooh. Yeah! 319 00:12:17,089 --> 00:12:18,855 This ain't for me. 320 00:12:18,857 --> 00:12:20,724 [groans] I start moving like this. 321 00:12:20,726 --> 00:12:23,227 And am I doing this? Huh? 322 00:12:23,229 --> 00:12:24,361 Well, I don't... I don't like this kind of stuff. 323 00:12:24,363 --> 00:12:25,395 Oh, you don't like this? 324 00:12:25,397 --> 00:12:26,430 What about this? 325 00:12:26,432 --> 00:12:27,431 [slow techno music] 326 00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:30,434 Ah! Ah! 327 00:12:30,436 --> 00:12:32,135 Put it down on it! 328 00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:34,671 You getting chubby now, huh? Ahh! 329 00:12:34,673 --> 00:12:36,373 You're getting real chubby down there now, huh? 330 00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:37,374 Ahh! 331 00:12:37,376 --> 00:12:42,145 [roaring like a lion] 332 00:12:44,283 --> 00:12:48,385 I'm the dom here. Don't forget it. 333 00:12:48,387 --> 00:12:53,090 334 00:12:53,092 --> 00:12:55,993 Okay. 335 00:12:57,863 --> 00:13:02,065 Adam. Alice has something that she wants to say to you, 336 00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:03,267 Don't you, honey? 337 00:13:03,269 --> 00:13:04,534 - Yes, I do. - Yeah. 338 00:13:04,536 --> 00:13:06,870 Adam, I want to apologize 339 00:13:06,872 --> 00:13:09,439 for being so mean to you at lunch. 340 00:13:09,441 --> 00:13:11,441 I miss us. 341 00:13:11,443 --> 00:13:13,277 I know I keep my guard up, 342 00:13:13,279 --> 00:13:16,380 but it's because I've been hurt before. 343 00:13:16,382 --> 00:13:19,583 But I want the real thing... a partner, 344 00:13:19,585 --> 00:13:22,819 a family... and love. 345 00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:24,388 I want to impregnate you. 346 00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:26,223 I forgive you, Muffin Top. 347 00:13:26,225 --> 00:13:28,525 Come here. Come here. Oh. 348 00:13:30,562 --> 00:13:32,262 [phone buzzing] Ring, ring, ring, ring. 349 00:13:32,264 --> 00:13:34,765 Oh, that's my cell phone. I gotta take this. 350 00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:39,236 Ohh. [sighs] What... 351 00:13:39,238 --> 00:13:41,772 What are you, some kind of love warlock? 352 00:13:41,774 --> 00:13:44,308 Look, I want to give you something. 353 00:13:44,310 --> 00:13:47,177 [hopeful music] 354 00:13:47,179 --> 00:13:49,279 Okay, no, I don't want to marry you, 355 00:13:49,281 --> 00:13:51,581 I want to marry... her. 356 00:13:51,583 --> 00:13:55,085 Look, this was Alice's grandmother's ring, 357 00:13:55,087 --> 00:13:56,753 and I know that you will know 358 00:13:56,755 --> 00:13:58,955 the perfect moment to give it to her. 359 00:13:58,957 --> 00:14:01,658 360 00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:03,360 Who the hell are you? 361 00:14:03,362 --> 00:14:06,596 What? The... what? That's... it's Kyle. 362 00:14:06,598 --> 00:14:09,032 'Cause I just got a call from the real consultant, 363 00:14:09,034 --> 00:14:11,134 and he asked when we could reschedule 364 00:14:11,136 --> 00:14:13,470 because he was told I had "pink eyes." 365 00:14:13,472 --> 00:14:16,540 Okay, look... this is our friend, Karl. 366 00:14:16,542 --> 00:14:21,445 Karl is the reason that we are pushing so many whistles. 367 00:14:21,447 --> 00:14:23,747 Nobody was buying them, okay, and we just wanted to help, 368 00:14:23,749 --> 00:14:26,316 and he had an alternative approach 369 00:14:26,318 --> 00:14:28,218 - to this whole situation. - Mmhmm. 370 00:14:28,220 --> 00:14:31,955 And what was his alternative "approach." 371 00:14:31,957 --> 00:14:35,359 Look, you can't fire me... 372 00:14:35,361 --> 00:14:36,993 - but it's weed. - No. 373 00:14:36,995 --> 00:14:39,029 Yeah, no, we are selling weed with the whistles. 374 00:14:39,031 --> 00:14:41,631 You've been selling weed over the phones? 375 00:14:41,633 --> 00:14:44,901 That is illegal! Have you lost your minds? 376 00:14:44,903 --> 00:14:47,337 Hey, guys, I was writing baby names while taking a shit, 377 00:14:47,339 --> 00:14:49,906 and hey, what do you think of "Bilbo"? 378 00:14:49,908 --> 00:14:51,174 I should fire you guys. 379 00:14:51,176 --> 00:14:52,542 Or "Baggins" Murphy? 380 00:14:52,544 --> 00:14:53,977 - Adam! - Alice, please, 381 00:14:53,979 --> 00:14:55,879 don't fire us, please? 382 00:14:55,881 --> 00:14:57,547 Okay, we've sold 100 whistles. There's only 50 left. 383 00:14:57,549 --> 00:14:59,483 As soon as we get the weed from the drug dealer... 384 00:14:59,485 --> 00:15:00,851 like, 12 pounds or whatever... 385 00:15:00,853 --> 00:15:02,652 [whispering] 12 pounds of weed? 386 00:15:02,654 --> 00:15:04,221 Yeah, we've sold a lot of it. 387 00:15:04,223 --> 00:15:07,391 We start shipping it out, we wash our hands of it all. 388 00:15:07,393 --> 00:15:09,626 Mm, you know what? Funny you should mention that, 389 00:15:09,628 --> 00:15:11,194 'cause I got off the phone with him a while back, 390 00:15:11,196 --> 00:15:13,430 and he said the drop is off unless we pay triple. 391 00:15:13,432 --> 00:15:15,499 - Triple? What? - Yeah, it's the drought, man. 392 00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:17,267 "Husky." You know, in case he's fat. 393 00:15:17,269 --> 00:15:18,435 [all talking at once] 394 00:15:18,437 --> 00:15:19,736 What prices went up? 395 00:15:19,738 --> 00:15:21,238 - Oh. - Huh? 396 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,906 Hey, Dad. Um... 397 00:15:22,908 --> 00:15:25,308 no, we're just having a, uh, 398 00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:28,378 office supply packaging issue with the guy. 399 00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:30,814 It's no big deal. We got it covered. Boring stuff. 400 00:15:30,816 --> 00:15:32,349 What's the problem? 401 00:15:32,351 --> 00:15:34,217 The guy... the guy, he promised us one price. 402 00:15:34,219 --> 00:15:35,886 - Uh-huh. - Now he's asking for another... 403 00:15:35,888 --> 00:15:37,421 just only triple. 404 00:15:37,423 --> 00:15:38,922 Triple? 405 00:15:38,924 --> 00:15:41,625 Wha... who does that? That's highway robbery. 406 00:15:41,627 --> 00:15:42,592 - That's what I said. - I know, I know. 407 00:15:42,594 --> 00:15:44,027 [gasps] "Marvin." 408 00:15:44,029 --> 00:15:45,929 Look, Dad, we're totally handling this. 409 00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:49,533 Uh, Kyle is going to take me to talk to his guy today, so... 410 00:15:49,535 --> 00:15:50,867 - That's right. - No. 411 00:15:50,869 --> 00:15:54,704 Honey, this is my product. I am Smoke Cutter. 412 00:15:54,706 --> 00:15:57,774 Now, Newacheck, where are we supposed to meet this guy? 413 00:15:57,776 --> 00:16:00,744 [rockabilly music] 414 00:16:00,746 --> 00:16:07,684 415 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,276 - Is this the guy? - Yeah, yeah, that's him, okay, 416 00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:19,145 but I'm gonna do all the talking 417 00:16:19,163 --> 00:16:20,562 'cause Noel doesn't really trust new people. 418 00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,633 How about you don't talk in my backswing, huh? 419 00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,134 Well, uh, we're just looking to... 420 00:16:26,136 --> 00:16:29,104 - Hi. I'm Ted Murphy. - Ted Murphy. 421 00:16:29,106 --> 00:16:30,806 And my associates here, they tell me 422 00:16:30,808 --> 00:16:32,841 that you have tripled your price, 423 00:16:32,843 --> 00:16:35,811 and I don't think that's particularly fair, 424 00:16:35,813 --> 00:16:39,014 so I thought that you and I, we could get together, 425 00:16:39,016 --> 00:16:41,683 and I could help you to help me to help you 426 00:16:41,685 --> 00:16:44,586 to find something that works for everybody. 427 00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:48,123 [laughs] 428 00:16:48,125 --> 00:16:49,791 You're kind of new in this business, aren't you? 429 00:16:49,793 --> 00:16:53,662 [laughs] Well, fair enough, 430 00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:56,965 but I will tell you this little secret about myself. 431 00:16:56,967 --> 00:17:01,470 I do know smoke and I do know green. 432 00:17:01,472 --> 00:17:04,439 Uh, okay, Grampa, you want to talk green? 433 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:06,608 We'll talk green. 434 00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,343 You guys want 12 pounds? 435 00:17:08,345 --> 00:17:10,212 Yes, that would be much appr... mucho appreciated. 436 00:17:10,214 --> 00:17:12,681 What are we talking, money or packing peanuts? 437 00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:13,882 [laughs] 438 00:17:13,884 --> 00:17:15,584 What the [bleep]? 439 00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,552 Okay, look, this seems like it's gonna take 440 00:17:17,554 --> 00:17:19,988 a while to sort out, so Dad, why don't we hit the pro shop 441 00:17:19,990 --> 00:17:21,990 and buy a round? You know, we'll catch up 442 00:17:21,992 --> 00:17:24,226 with you guys. Adam, help me. 443 00:17:24,228 --> 00:17:26,528 That's right, family time. 444 00:17:26,530 --> 00:17:29,331 - Come on, Dad. - Come on, Dad. 445 00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,999 [rockabilly music] 446 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:33,468 Karl, could you figure something out, please, quickly? 447 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,871 Just dab'll do me. No, 12 pounds is great. 448 00:17:35,873 --> 00:17:37,339 No. Come on, come on! 449 00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,675 No, no, no, buddy. Hop on. 450 00:17:40,677 --> 00:17:41,676 Uh, hold on one second. 451 00:17:41,678 --> 00:17:42,778 - You on? - Yeah. 452 00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:44,846 Okay, no... no, hold on, buddy! 453 00:17:44,848 --> 00:17:46,148 Let's just lower the price 454 00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:47,516 and we'll move some product together. 455 00:17:47,518 --> 00:17:49,885 Whoa, look at you, making demands. 456 00:17:49,887 --> 00:17:51,720 Hey! You give us the price that you promised, 457 00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,321 because word is bond! 458 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,857 - You just cut me off? - Well... [scoffs] 459 00:17:55,859 --> 00:17:58,059 Dude, stop trying to dom him, dude, this is not the time. 460 00:17:58,061 --> 00:18:00,896 If you can't dom that sub, then what kind of dom are you? 461 00:18:00,898 --> 00:18:02,831 - How do I look? - Phenomenal. 462 00:18:04,435 --> 00:18:06,001 I hope you're ready to get hard. 463 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:07,002 [hip-hop music] 464 00:18:07,004 --> 00:18:08,036 What? 465 00:18:08,038 --> 00:18:09,070 That's right. 466 00:18:09,072 --> 00:18:10,372 467 00:18:10,374 --> 00:18:11,440 No. 468 00:18:11,442 --> 00:18:12,941 Oh, my God. 469 00:18:12,943 --> 00:18:14,409 You ready to get real freaky? 470 00:18:14,411 --> 00:18:16,378 'Cause one ball ain't as good as two. 471 00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,113 Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm. Please don't do that. 472 00:18:18,115 --> 00:18:19,381 - Mmm. - Stop. 473 00:18:19,383 --> 00:18:21,082 [breathing heavily] 474 00:18:21,084 --> 00:18:22,717 Please stop. 475 00:18:22,719 --> 00:18:24,586 - [moaning] - Don't... don't do a dance. 476 00:18:24,588 --> 00:18:25,587 [moaning] 477 00:18:25,589 --> 00:18:27,122 478 00:18:27,124 --> 00:18:29,057 [moans] Oh. 479 00:18:29,059 --> 00:18:30,625 All right, come on, let's hustle back there. 480 00:18:30,627 --> 00:18:32,194 Come on. No, Dad, wait, just-hold on. 481 00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:34,463 Hey, shut up real quick. Shut up. 482 00:18:34,465 --> 00:18:35,864 What? 483 00:18:35,866 --> 00:18:37,232 [romantic music] 484 00:18:37,234 --> 00:18:39,401 - Alice Murphy? - Oh. 485 00:18:39,403 --> 00:18:40,702 What? 486 00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:42,737 487 00:18:42,739 --> 00:18:44,072 Will you marry me? 488 00:18:44,074 --> 00:18:46,274 - [laughs] - What... okay, what is happening? 489 00:18:46,276 --> 00:18:48,109 No, okay? This is getting out of control. 490 00:18:48,111 --> 00:18:49,711 You gave him Giggy's ring? 491 00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:52,914 Yeah. You two have such an amazing connection. 492 00:18:52,916 --> 00:18:55,116 No, Dad, no, we don't, okay? 493 00:18:55,118 --> 00:18:56,318 - It... - We do. 494 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,153 - It's not real. I... - It is. 495 00:18:58,155 --> 00:18:59,654 I pretended to like Adam 496 00:18:59,656 --> 00:19:01,623 because I knew it made you happy, 497 00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:03,725 - but it's a lie. - What? 498 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:07,395 And your Smoke Cutter sales, they're a lie too. 499 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:10,932 We used your whistles as a cover to sell pot on the phone. 500 00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:12,167 Sorry. 501 00:19:12,169 --> 00:19:14,169 [hip-hop music] 502 00:19:14,171 --> 00:19:17,305 [groans] Dude, it's hot. Chubbin' up. Check it out. 503 00:19:17,307 --> 00:19:18,840 Mmm. Hey, stop, come on, man. 504 00:19:18,842 --> 00:19:22,744 Hey! You gateway drug-dealing scumbag! 505 00:19:24,348 --> 00:19:25,347 - [groans] - Dad! 506 00:19:25,349 --> 00:19:26,815 All: Oh! 507 00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:29,084 - Hiya! - Oh! 508 00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:30,352 - Whoa. - Oh. 509 00:19:30,354 --> 00:19:31,419 [grunts] 510 00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,921 All: Oh! 511 00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:35,257 You give us the original price 512 00:19:35,259 --> 00:19:39,261 or I'm gonna make you swallow this [bleep] golf ball... 513 00:19:39,263 --> 00:19:41,496 - What? - With your butt! 514 00:19:41,498 --> 00:19:43,932 515 00:19:47,638 --> 00:19:48,971 - You gotta... - Gotta be fresh 516 00:19:48,973 --> 00:19:50,406 Do we have a deal? 517 00:19:50,408 --> 00:19:51,607 Oh, Dad, no. 518 00:19:51,609 --> 00:19:52,908 Say it. 519 00:19:52,910 --> 00:19:54,176 What do you think this is, "Shark Tank"? 520 00:19:55,446 --> 00:19:57,813 Okay, I have a better idea. 521 00:19:57,815 --> 00:19:59,648 Here. [groans] 522 00:19:59,650 --> 00:20:00,816 What about now? 523 00:20:00,818 --> 00:20:02,351 We got a deal now? Huh? 524 00:20:02,353 --> 00:20:03,953 Yeah, we have a deal! 525 00:20:03,955 --> 00:20:05,454 Let's play golf. 526 00:20:06,791 --> 00:20:08,991 All: Oh! 527 00:20:08,993 --> 00:20:10,259 I didn't mean to do that. 528 00:20:11,596 --> 00:20:14,730 - Worked for me. - Whew, me too, man. 529 00:20:14,732 --> 00:20:16,799 Both: Total dom. 530 00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:19,502 Oh! [laughing] Weed! 531 00:20:19,504 --> 00:20:21,136 I'm sorry, Dad. 532 00:20:21,138 --> 00:20:22,671 Has anybody got a pipe? 533 00:20:22,673 --> 00:20:24,139 That's okay, Alice. 534 00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:25,741 I'm sorry too, Dad. 535 00:20:25,743 --> 00:20:27,443 And Adam, 536 00:20:27,445 --> 00:20:30,513 don't you ever lay a finger on my daughter again. 537 00:20:30,515 --> 00:20:32,481 After this order of whistles is sold out, 538 00:20:32,483 --> 00:20:34,350 I think I'm just gonna call it quits 539 00:20:34,352 --> 00:20:36,218 - on Smoke Cutters altogether. - Aw. 540 00:20:36,220 --> 00:20:38,153 [blows distorted whistle] 541 00:20:38,155 --> 00:20:39,989 You might not have to. 542 00:20:39,991 --> 00:20:42,992 [funk music] 543 00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:48,764 544 00:20:48,766 --> 00:20:51,700 Weed. 545 00:20:51,702 --> 00:20:55,204 [tires screeching] 546 00:20:55,206 --> 00:20:56,551 Get a real job! 547 00:20:56,651 --> 00:21:00,518 Synced and corrected by MasterCookie - www.addic7ed.com - 548 00:21:00,568 --> 00:21:05,118 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40036

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