All language subtitles for Workaholics s05e04 Menergy Crisis.eng

"I trust you with my life"?

- "My life"?
- "Life."

Oh.
[laughs]

We all said it at the same time.

It's 'cause it resonated so hard.

This is, like, one of
the best songs ever written.

Like, better than anything that

Waka Flocka Flame's ever written.

And that is saying a lot.
He is quite a penman.

Wow, we're like freakin'
Taylor Swifts in this bitch.

We should lay down the vocals
while it's still fresh, right?

- Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
- This is gonna be so cool.

Like, at our next party,

when a hot chick hears this song,

and she's like,
"Who sings this song?"

And I'm like, "Me."

And then she's all...
[moaning]

And then I frickin' leave her there

to question her entire life.

Except that it's us, right?

Using the gear that I bought
with my gift certificate

from my cousin Torbjorn.

My gift is my voice,

so this is for you.

[New wave music]

[tunelessly]

Whoo!
[laughs]

All right.
Yeah.

I got goose bumps.
That was pretty good.

Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com

[New wave music]

Ha-fruit-ken!

Ooh, that was a good toss.

- Whoa!
- Whoo!

- Nice.
- Oh, man, that's cool.

What else is cool is the fact
that if I want to, like,

rerecord a track or, like,
add some kind of special effect,

you can do it on your phone
via Bluetooth.

What the...
Okay.

What is this?

Sound like Duran Duran hit the skins

with Michael Bivins
and birthed a jam.

Who is this?

I don't like you and how you speak.

It's us, believe it or not.
It's our new band, Menergy.

Cool sound, huh?
Pretty original?

- What?
- Yeah.

This is taking me back to high
school right now. Right, Bill?

Buckle up, fellas,

because the best part
is about to come.

My part.
Listen to this verse.

I've got some great lyrics.

Ders and Adam:

I'm supposed to be
right here, I think.

Is this the bridge,
or is this my part?

No, I actually think
this might be, um...

- [door clicks]
- Where you at?

All right, listen up, everybody.

- I have some good news.
- What, did you mute it?

'Cause Jillian was so frugal
with all of our office supplies,

we have a little-- well, actually,

a pretty big budget surplus.

Erasable pens save on Wite-Out.

You guys all read
that article I sent, right?

- Mm-mm.
- No.

The one I wrote?

- Nobody read that, Jillian.
- That's great.

All right, so if we don't spend it,

corporate's gonna slash
next year's budget,

so I've decided I'm gonna
throw us a little office party.

Now, if you have any suggestions,

please let me know.

But one thing is for damn sure.

We're getting a pancake station.

Yeah!

[whooping]

Alice, can we get a Velcro wall?

I've always wanted to feel

what it would be like
to be held and supported.

By Velcro.

And we definitely need to get
one of them hammer slammers.

I've been doing
these Jillian Michael DVDs,

and it's time to put
my "chess stremph" to the test.

- [grunts]
- Let's get a batting cage.

Wait till you see me bunt.
I can really lay 'em down.

Okay, you know what?
I'm sorry I asked.

If you have any more
suggestions, just tell Jillian.

- I'm out.
- I'm also out.

I have an idea.

How 'bout we debut Menergy
at the party?

- Yes.
- Right?

I mean, I always thought
it'd be the Apollo Theater,

but, like, this could work.

I think fate might've
just stepped in.

I'm psyched.

This is how Metallica started.

They had their first gig at, like,

a Chick-fil-A, I think.

[mouthing words]

Uh, Blake, here's the deal.

Adam and I got to talking.

Well, we came to the conclusion
that you're off the project.

So you did take me off the track.

Indeed.

Okay, well, that doesn't make sense.

We're not a duo.
We're a threesome, like, yeah.

I don't mean to be mean or rude,

but your voice is horrific sounding.

It's so bad, Blake.

[tones echoing]

It sounds like life
leaving something.

Like a child's nightmare.

Remember the video
of that pit bull that got shot?

It was like, "Bang!" It was like...

[both whimpering, wailing]

Shut up!
Shut up, all right?

You guys backstabbed me, all right?

You betrayed me.

You frickin' ripped my heart out,

and you basically just
threw it in the trash

and lit it on fire
and spit on it, man.

- I got to take a walk.
- Okay.

The irony is, the way
that he described

what we did to him?

- That's what his voice sounds like.
- Yeah.

- both:
Alice
-
We want to

Blake finally had a good idea.
He's gonna do

a little musical performance
at the office party.

What?

That's the reason that--
[stammering]

It's okay.

You know, it's so funny, Blake,

but I never knew you were in a band.

Yeah, and it's "rapping wizards."

Wow.

I mean, even it it isn't good,
you know,

it'll be fun to laugh at.

- Yeah.
- So...

Worth a chuckle.

[chuckles]

Okay, please get the eff
out of my office now.

Excuse me.

[thuds]

Blake, you get back here.
You can't do this.

- The Wizards--it's our thing.
- Oh, yeah?

Well, Menergy was our thing too,
but you kicked me out of that,

so I'm kicking you out
of The Wizards.

You mess with the dragon's fire,
you get scorched, you bitch.

- Bye-bye.
- No, not bye-bye, okay?

'Cause I'm only scared of two things.

Pincher bugs is one of them,

and the other is pleasing
a woman to death with my penis.

Now I realize it wasn't that big,

so that was an irrational fear.

But now I'm frickin' scared
of you, my man,

'cause you're a snake,
and you snaked our gig.

He's scared, and I'm laughing,
because I think it's hilarious

that you think you can do
The Wizards without us.

My whole butt is cracking off
over here.

No, that's true, Blazer.
It is.

He frickin' has a giant crack
right up his butt.

- Yeah.
- It's true.

Moon him. Moon him, Ders.

Do not moon me. Not here.
Not--

- Look at it.
- [grunts]

Look at that.

[quietly]
You think you can moon me

without consequences?

Huh? Do you?

Why are you doing a freaking
Bruce Willis voice right now?

'Cause I'm serious, all right?

I'm dead serious.

Well, buckle up, you backstabbers,

'cause I got to go rehearse.

[chuckles]

You're gonna see one heck of
a Wizard performance tomorrow.

And you're not gonna be part of it.

Oh, this ain't happening,

because what that snake Blake
doesn't realize

is that he just awakened a mongoose.

Hell yeah.

What's--I don't know
what a mongoose is.

That's a snake?

It's a dope ferret

that can kill snakes.

[hisses]

That was a snake.

Dude, your voice is awesome, man.

It's just like-- it's really unique.

You just need, like,
really awesome talent

to be holding you up,

which is why we have these puppets.

Karl, that is why you are
my only real friend, all right?

Because you don't turn
your back on me ever.

Fricking wolf pack for life, bro.

Dude. Swee!

I wish you were my dad sometimes.

- I really do.
- Yeah.

I wish you didn't live in a van.

It's always hot.
I'm hot right now.

Yeah, sorry.
The AC is busted.

Here, I'm gonna just drink
some of this juice.

What is this?
Is this homemade?

- [gags]
- Oh, no! No!

Oh, my God, what is-- what is that?

[gagging]

That's a homemade
super stink bomb, dude.

What?

That's filled with so much
nasty stuff, man.

Like raw poop, human poop,
raccoon poop,

my poop, Velveeta cheese,

and fermented Grumpy Grape Squeezit.

- I thought it was kombucha.
- No.

Oh, Karl, why?
Why?

Dude, I make 'em,
and I sell it to bad kids.

Oh, I get that.
You're expanding your portfolio.

You're getting very wise
in your old age.

Allow me and my friends
to give you a round of applause.

- [puppet hands clacking]
- Oh, my God.

The human genius, you guys.
Here he is.

That's awesome.

You got to be kidding me.

He thinks he can replace us
with some puppets?

You've got to be kidding me.

- All right, let's go.
- Okay.

No, this way, dude.

One, two, three, yes.
Kick, kick.

One and two and three and four...

You know who it be.
It's that crazy-ass mage.

- Crazy-ass.
- Crazy-ass mage.

- Was that pretty good?
- It's great.

It looks like--it's awesome.
[siren wailing]

And suck my frickin' balls, dude.

- Yes, yes.
- What the--

Police!

Come out from behind the van now.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Oh, no way.

- No way.
- What's going on?

We don't have to do what you say.

- Hey--
- No! Fuck you.

Karl, shut up, dude.

- They got guns, man.
- No, dude.

I've been profiled two times
in the last eight years.

- I'm done with you pigs!
- This is not a fucking game!

Drop the pipes or I will shoot you!

That's not necessary, officer.

Chill!
Put the gun down!

- You in the middle.
- Yes.

Step forward, lay on the ground,

and put your hands behind your back.

Yes, of course.
Yes, I'm--

Whoa, back the fuck up!

Whoa!
Stop, dude! Please!

We said just the man in the middle.

- I got the ugly one on the left.
- Fuck.

Say the word, I'll blow his head off.

- Doug, please stop. Please?
- Please, all right?

I'm gonna unhook my puppet.

They're reaching for their weapons!

- [gunshot]
- Oh! Oh, shit!

- [shouting]
- Okay! Okay!

What is wrong with this guy?

You shot an innocent puppet!

I want your badge number now.

Tha--ooh, you fucked up.

Jesus Christ, Doug!

I told you to keep
your weapons holstered.

Okay, sorry.

[sobbing]

We'll call this one even.

I'm sure you got drugs
in that van, so...

Yeah, yes, I have
a lot of drugs in here.

Yes, we'll call it even.

Blake!
Oh, my God, are you okay?

I just called the cops,
and then I heard a gunshot.

- Gunshot?
- Why did you call the cops?

Adam and Anders said that
someone pulled you

in a shady van-- which is right here.

Shady? This is my home.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I was just out here rehearsing

for the thing tomorrow, okay?

Wasn't in any shady vans.

Wait, on company time?
Blake, go home, okay?

And don't think about coming
back here tomorrow,

because you are suspended.

both: No!

Go make your puppets somewhere else.

I was just shot at by cops!

Yeah.

But then there won't be
a band to perform--

[gasps]
You know what?

I have a good idea.

What if our band performed tomorrow?

It's a cool emo band
that we started called Menergy.

- What do you say?
- Fine.

Sure. Play.
Who cares?

- Do I have street cred now?
- Wait.

- What are they doing?
- Oh, this'll feel good.

Oh, no. Hell no.
Hell no.

- Hey, hey, hey, chill.
- No. no.

Chill, man. Chill.
They're just butts, bro.

- Let me go.
- Just chill.

- It's not over!
- It's just skin.

It's not.
It's butt skin.

DeMamp, let's go.

You can do your hair in the car.

We got a sound check in 15.

- Hey.
- What?

Before you leave, I just want
to apologize for yesterday.

I was just acting like a weird--

I don't want to cut you off,
but I've been waiting for that.

Thank you.

You know, I should've just known.

You and Adam have always worked
so well together, and...

Well, I'll be honest.

Working with you would be a dream

compared to working with that guy.

[scoffs]
It's like he doesn't understand.

I am the brains of the operation.

He's just a diva.

I know what works
and what doesn't, you know?

Take care. Adam!

S'go!

You got it. Break a leg.

[mockingly]
"Adam, let's go.

- Adam, let's go."
- Hey.

Dude, how does my hair look?

Come here. Let me...

You know, it's weird that Ders
doesn't even, like, realize

how important this kind of stuff
is, you know?

Him being, like, the leader
of the band and stuff.

You'd think he'd know
a little bit about--

- Did he say that?
- Yeah, no.

He said he's the leader of the band.

- He said he's the leader?
- Yeah.

[laughing]
Okay.

If this were a cartoon,
there'd be freaking fire

in my eyeballs right now.

Blake, between me and you,
there is no band without me--

Adam, the freakin' star
of all stars, DeMamp.

It's like we're the band Everclear.

I'm Art Alexakis.

He's Craig Montoya and Greg Eklund.

Don't you ever, ever, ever
forget about me,

even when you're super famous
and up on top, okay?

Blake, I have the memory
of an elephant.

I don't forget nothing.

I forgot pants.

Let's do this.

Ha! That one slipped.
Stop trippin'.

Wow.

- This is so real.
- Yep.

Showtime's in one hour,
so we need to be very careful

with what we do to our bodies.

Pancakes are ready!

both: Carbo load.
Yes!

Excuse me.
Talent coming through.

- Move, bidge.
- Talent first.

- Get out of my way.
- Talent first.

- Dude, I'm gonna hit...
- Thank you.

So many beautiful notes
when I'm full of food.

- That's how I do.
- [imitating whooshing]

I freakin' fill up with food,

and I exude talent.

Hey, and you know what,
I could really go

for some of that golden brown sauce.

Oh, this?
The good good.

- Yummy, yummy.
- Gonna get you some.

- Yowza.
- Get me some.

I'm excited about today.

- I am too.
- To Menergy.

Let's get menergized.

- [laughs]
- Right?

Yeah.

[dramatic music]
[coughing]

- These are weird-tasting.
- What is that?

[cell phone jingling]

It's Blake.

Hi.

How was your pancakes?

Blake, where are you?
The pancakes.

Did he do--
what'd he do to the pancakes?

You tell you what you did
to these pancakes right now.

[chuckles]

What didn't I do to the pancakes?

I--actually, I just switched
the syrup with teriyaki.

[laughs evilly]

No, no. You guys!
It's not syrup, it's teriyaki.

You can't eat the pancakes.

It's teriyaki?

It's actually not bad
when you know what it is.

Oh, boys, it's a shame

Alice is gonna have to
cancel the mixer.

It's actually not a mixer, Blake.

If anything, it's like
a office party or a brunch

with activities, and why would
Alice cancel it?

Okay, well, here's one pitch why.

- He's got a pitch.
- Okay, what is it?

No, it--that--

it's a pun, okay?

Just look at
the pitching machine, man.

- What do you mean, it's--
- All right, hit it.

- [grapefruit spatters]
- [shouts]

My eyes!

Who put fruit in the ball return?

- There he is.
- [laughing]

Blake, what's up, man?

What's your end game?

There is no end game, Adam.

All right?

[whispering]
Now stick around.

- [laughing]
- Stick around.

- Make sure to stick around.
- Stick around.

Hold me in your arms, Mother Velcro!

- [air hissing]
- The Velcro wall.

- Velcro wall.
- What's happening?

Oh, God. Help. Help!

- It's deflating!
- Jillian?

[shouts indistinctly]

Oh, dear God,
it's swallowing me whole.

Jillian, I know it's hard, but
you have to work with me here.

- [screams]
- Alice, you really got to--

- [Velcro ripping]
- What is that? Is that my skin?

- No, it's Velcro.
- [screaming]

Stop screaming in my ear!

[yells]

Oh, my panties are out.

Okay, that was kind of
anti-climactic.

- Come on.
- All right.

Hey, you see this?

Still got "teriyoki" on my fingers.

- [gasps]
- What the--

It's Blake. He's here.

[cell phone jingling]

- You're on speakerphone.
- [laughing]

- What's up? Adam's here.
- It's Adam and Ders.

And listen up, okay?

It's Menergy's big day,
and you are ruining it,

because you're freaking
our crowd out.

Oh, I'm sorry, Ders.

Am I sapping all the Menergy

from you guys?

Oh, I hope you have
the "skremph" to play the gig.

Otherwise, it's really gonna stink.

Who says stupid stuff like "skremph?"

I'm like Thor's uncle up in here.

[grunts]
Oh!

Damn it!

No! No!

[dramatic music]

Drop the hammer!

- Got it!
- Nice.

Oh! I've always wanted
to hold a hammer like this.

- That was close.
- That was cool, right?

Hey, don't you see me trying to

ring this bell
like Bart Simpson's neck?

Well, it's a good thing
you didn't--look.

One of Karl's classic
homemade stink bombs.

Whatever.
[cell phone buzzes]

It's Blake.

Congratulations.
You stopped Tez.

But I've got more up my sleeve.

Sleeve. Rip your sleeves off.

- He did something to our sleeves.
- No, Adam, stop it.

He did something to our sleeves.

Adam, you heard him.
Stop it.

Didn't you hear him?

He knows we stopped Tez.

He can see us.

- I spotted him.
- Where? Where?

- Where?
- He's on the roof over there.

Go, go, go, go.

Blake, you hold it right there.

- Oh!
- Owie.

[dramatic music]

- [grunts]
- [panting]

Karl?
What are you doing?

I'll never tell you, 'cause you hurt

my best friend Blake's feelings.

- Oh?
- Ow! Ow!

It's glued to my head.
Stop!

- Where is he?
- Stop! Ow, dude.

[snickers]

- Oh.
- Well, hello.

[groans]
You know what?

I'm gonna just jump off of here
and kill myself.

That way I don't have to see
your stupid performance again.

No, that's where you're wrong, Blake,

'cause you're gonna have to see
our performance

over and over and over again,

forever, starting now.

- [burbling]
- Get your butt out of my face.

- [grunts]
- [shushing]

- Showtime.
- Yeah.

Sit tight, you bizznatch.

Hello, TelAmericorp

and any other offices out there
that can hear us.

We are Menergy.

Let's get menergized!

Whoo!

[New wave music]

both:
Do you trust me
like I trust you?

[music stops]
[both stammer]

- [recording]
- He doesn't understand.

- I'm the brains of the operation.
- Wait, what?

[recording]
There is no band

without me, Adam.

What the hell is that?
What are you saying?

You just said something first.

- [recording]
- He's just a diva.

I'm the diva?

Look how hard your hair is right now.

I'm the diva?

Hey, I wake up like this.
You want to get real?

We both know Menergy wouldn't exist

without me, the brains.

Okay, I'm the talent
of the operation.

I thought you guys were friends.

Like how every line of your song
is about being friends?

- Yeah, we're friends, Bill.
- We're friends, okay?

This is a spat between friends.

[recording]
Kind of like the band Everclear.

I'm Art Alexakis.

He's Craig Montoya and Greg Eklund.

Okay, let me be
ever so clear about this.

You are no Art Alexakis.

I'm totally Art Alexakis,
and I told Blake that--okay.

[clapping]

Quite the performance, gentlemen.

And I had the perfect seats.

Front side stage, right within range

of your stupid little
Bluetooth beat machine.

Oh, my God, he wanted us
to catch him.

No, what I--

what I wanted-- I'll tell you.

What I wanted was to
rock and roll onstage

with my friends, okay?

We've established
that you're talentless, okay?

And it's your voice,
and it's horrible,

and it was sort of
a business decision.

Yeah, all right.

I will admit, I have
a very bad singing voice.

- Very bad. It's very, very bad.
- So bad.

How would you feel if,
you know, Ders and I

left you out of the project?

You guys wouldn't do that,
because I am

a natural-born performer,

and I'm the best singer of the crew.

Yeah, that's true.

You're in no matter what.

But, Ders, what about you?

What if Adam and I left you out?

Uh, you guys do that all the time.

And it does feel pretty bad.

Look, I have a terrible voice.

Even my deaf friend
from high school, Terrell,

he would tell me, like, you know,

"Don't quit your day job."

You can speak sign language?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A little.

Little.

Little bit.

[New wave music]

both:
We've got respect
For each other

- Thank you guys so much.
- Thank you.

- Stay menergized.
- All right.

- Take it to church!
- Thank you.

- Thanks.
- Whoo! We are Menergy.

[laughing]
That was so fun.

I'm sorry, what the hell
are you doing here?

He's jamming with his friends, which,

last time I checked, ain't a crime.

Actually, the last time I checked,

he's not supposed to be here,
so you know what?

Neither should you.
Why don't you go home.

Just go smoke weed about it?

Let's do it.
Oh, hey, guys?

Thank you.

Yes.
both: Thank you.

One, two, three, four!

[drumsticks tapping]

Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0