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1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,711
All right, pledges, drunk and loud.
2
00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,798
When I say "chug," you say "beer!"
3
00:00:04,923 --> 00:00:06,067
- Chug!
- Beer!
4
00:00:06,192 --> 00:00:07,424
- Chug!
- Beer!
5
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:08,742
Now chug those beers!
6
00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:12,050
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
7
00:00:13,511 --> 00:00:15,890
Say, that was a solid chant, right?
8
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,461
Probably a frat guy.
Why were we never in frats?
9
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,234
I know, I've heard
so many cool rumors,
10
00:00:20,359 --> 00:00:23,315
like frat guys just have
boink fests with frat girls.
11
00:00:23,481 --> 00:00:25,107
That's not a rumor, man, that's true.
12
00:00:25,232 --> 00:00:26,412
- Really?
- Yeah.
13
00:00:26,537 --> 00:00:27,736
I was gonna be in a frat,
14
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:29,363
but then I decided it wasn't for me
15
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,457
after they told me
that it wasn't for me.
16
00:00:31,582 --> 00:00:33,325
They made it pretty clear, actually.
17
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:35,494
Last call.
This is last call for drinks.
18
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:38,246
- What? Come on!
- Boo!
19
00:00:38,412 --> 00:00:40,540
Dudes, we should have an after-party.
20
00:00:40,706 --> 00:00:43,460
Yeah, get the frat house
to that house.
21
00:00:45,294 --> 00:00:46,348
- What does that mean?
- What are you talking about?
22
00:00:46,473 --> 00:00:47,756
- Our house.
- Oh, our house, okay.
23
00:00:48,043 --> 00:00:49,522
You need to explain yourself better.
24
00:00:49,647 --> 00:00:50,792
Yeah, I was just rhyming and then...
25
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:52,365
Can we do this?
26
00:00:52,490 --> 00:00:54,179
And I know how to invite them
in a super cool fashion.
27
00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:56,705
- It's a party chant.
- Yes!
28
00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:58,141
Pledges!
29
00:00:58,307 --> 00:01:00,227
When I say, "after-party,"
30
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:05,148
you guys say,
"15... 20 Hallman Street."
31
00:01:05,314 --> 00:01:07,928
Yeah, yeah, and then
I'm gonna just add on to that
32
00:01:08,053 --> 00:01:10,033
when I say,
"should we bring our swimsuits?"
33
00:01:10,158 --> 00:01:13,115
You say, "well, yeah,
weather permitting."
34
00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:15,409
- But do, because it's nice out.
- Right, right.
35
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,742
I'm... I'm...
36
00:01:16,867 --> 00:01:19,978
Guys, when I say,
"what should we bring?"
37
00:01:20,103 --> 00:01:21,715
You say, "beer and booze."
38
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,208
- It's a party.
- Yeah.
39
00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:25,289
When I say "after-party,"
if you could say,
40
00:01:25,414 --> 00:01:28,725
"15...0-2-0
'Hal-man' Stree..."
41
00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:30,060
is it "Hal-man," or is it Hallman?
42
00:01:30,185 --> 00:01:31,596
- Hallman!
- It doesn't matter.
43
00:01:31,721 --> 00:01:34,177
You just go down two blocks
and take a left.
44
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,693
Uh, so, guys, just keep on raging,
45
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,862
and we'll have the electricity
back on in no time.
46
00:01:52,082 --> 00:01:53,292
What the hell, man?
47
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,795
You didn't pay the electricity bill.
48
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:56,231
I didn't pay the electricity bill?
49
00:01:56,356 --> 00:01:57,666
You didn't pay the electricity bill.
50
00:01:57,791 --> 00:01:58,733
- It was your turn.
- It was my turn?
51
00:01:58,858 --> 00:02:00,802
It was my turn.
Damn it!
52
00:02:00,927 --> 00:02:02,570
- Yes.
- Well, where's the booze?
53
00:02:02,695 --> 00:02:03,972
Where's the booze?
You mean my daddy's vermouth?
54
00:02:04,097 --> 00:02:05,417
That's the only booze we have, man.
55
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,109
Nobody wants to drink
vermouth, all right?
56
00:02:07,234 --> 00:02:08,978
That's like dirty, old man,
anal leakage water.
57
00:02:09,103 --> 00:02:10,088
But it's booze.
58
00:02:10,305 --> 00:02:11,815
Someone pooped in the shower again!
59
00:02:11,940 --> 00:02:13,283
Was it you?
Is that why you left?
60
00:02:13,408 --> 00:02:15,019
This girl, I think,
pooped in the shower.
61
00:02:15,144 --> 00:02:16,619
- That's why she's leaving.
- Adam, you told me
62
00:02:16,744 --> 00:02:18,305
you pooped in the shower,
like, three days ago.
63
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,348
I don't wanna argue
with you right now, okay, Blake?
64
00:02:20,514 --> 00:02:22,017
Somebody pooped in the shower.
It's a dilemma.
65
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,324
Well, everybody's leaving.
W... do something, Ders, come on.
66
00:02:23,449 --> 00:02:24,859
Do s...
What do you want me to do?
67
00:02:24,984 --> 00:02:26,226
- I don't know.
- Here, okay, entertainment.
68
00:02:26,351 --> 00:02:27,761
- You want entertainment?
- Where you going?
69
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,197
Hey, guys, no power,
so we can't watch a DVD,
70
00:02:29,322 --> 00:02:30,366
but what if we acted one out?
71
00:02:30,491 --> 00:02:32,402
- Ooh!
- Kindergarten Cop.
72
00:02:32,568 --> 00:02:34,279
- Ooh, I'm a little kid!
- You're a little kid?
73
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:36,105
I'll be...
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
74
00:02:36,230 --> 00:02:38,450
And I'm like, it's not a dog.
It's a ferret.
75
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:39,743
Who is that?
Who is that?
76
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,344
- I'm Arnold.
- That's Arnold?
77
00:02:41,469 --> 00:02:42,829
No, that's not Arnold.
That was a frenchman.
78
00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:44,516
Look, and everybody's leaving
79
00:02:44,641 --> 00:02:45,918
'cause you can't even do
an Arnold impression.
80
00:02:46,043 --> 00:02:49,252
- Dominic!
- Oh, where is everybody going?
81
00:02:49,418 --> 00:02:50,719
The party's over, man.
We don't have any power.
82
00:02:50,844 --> 00:02:52,386
Yeah, and we're all out of booze.
83
00:02:52,511 --> 00:02:54,054
Yeah, and I pooped
in the shower, or someone did.
84
00:02:54,179 --> 00:02:55,420
'Cause I'm not willing
to admit that it was me.
85
00:02:55,545 --> 00:02:57,177
- This sucks.
- I got this.
86
00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,627
All right, everybody,
get back in the house!
87
00:02:59,752 --> 00:03:01,394
Party's back on!
88
00:03:01,519 --> 00:03:05,227
We're about to take a trip
to the third world.
89
00:03:05,455 --> 00:03:07,187
If you got a half-finished brew,
90
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:08,980
that's a child soldier.
91
00:03:09,146 --> 00:03:11,942
Pour it in this bowl right here.
92
00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:15,821
We're about to make
some savage jungle juice!
93
00:03:16,069 --> 00:03:17,531
- Oh, snap, that case of vermouth?
- Yeah.
94
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,282
Into the bowl!
95
00:03:19,448 --> 00:03:20,534
- I got it.
- You got any kool-aid?
96
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,327
Mask the taste, give it some color?
97
00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:24,483
- I got some crystal light.
- Yeah, I bet you do, bitch.
98
00:03:24,608 --> 00:03:25,651
Ooh!
99
00:03:25,776 --> 00:03:27,019
All right, all right.
100
00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:28,288
He's a bitch.
He is a bitch.
101
00:03:28,413 --> 00:03:30,460
Okay, as your tribal chief,
102
00:03:30,626 --> 00:03:32,712
let me state the laws of the jungle.
103
00:03:32,878 --> 00:03:35,465
You need to go to the bathroom,
piss outside.
104
00:03:35,631 --> 00:03:37,676
You need light, bust out your torch.
105
00:03:38,321 --> 00:03:42,639
And if you wanna get smacked
on some of this jungle juice,
106
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:44,891
you gotta go National Geographic!
107
00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:48,395
That's right.
Tops off!
108
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:49,896
Tops off.
Cool!
109
00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:51,106
- Who wants a cup?
- I do.
110
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,173
- I'd love one.
- Let's go!
111
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,692
Yeah.
112
00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:55,360
- Hell, yeah!
- We'll have some of that juice.
113
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,487
- Tops off.
- Tops off.
114
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,241
Oh, my God!
115
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,909
Are frat chicks as crazy as they say?
116
00:04:03,075 --> 00:04:04,817
Fraternity brothers
and sorority chicks
117
00:04:04,942 --> 00:04:07,080
are all [Bleep] machines, dude.
We're built for speed.
118
00:04:07,246 --> 00:04:08,821
That's, like, a dream of mine.
I wanna be a [Bleep] machine.
119
00:04:08,946 --> 00:04:10,584
Like, I would like to be
a sybian, I dream of that.
120
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,544
Wait, you guys.
That's, like, really good.
121
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,458
- It's not bad, right?
- It is.
122
00:04:14,583 --> 00:04:17,048
Oh! You not hear my rule,
you peasant?
123
00:04:17,214 --> 00:04:19,217
You want a cup?
Nat Geo.
124
00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:21,094
I'm all set, thanks.
125
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,388
Hey! You think you're better
than this chick?
126
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:25,682
That the rules don't apply to you?
127
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:28,226
She wanted a cup,
so she popped her top.
128
00:04:28,392 --> 00:04:30,729
Party rules apply to everyone.
129
00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,731
So I suggest you nip out...
130
00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:34,191
Or ship out.
131
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,442
Just nip out, man.
Don't ship out.
132
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:36,804
You guys cool with that?
133
00:04:36,929 --> 00:04:38,737
Go on, bro.
You got this, come on.
134
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,656
Well, I got boobs too, man.
It's whatever.
135
00:04:44,804 --> 00:04:45,636
Come on, everybody.
136
00:04:45,761 --> 00:04:48,281
Let's get a beat going,
like our ancient ancestors!
137
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:19,194
Dude, who are you?
138
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,113
I'm... Ron... burgundy?
139
00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,199
Are you?
140
00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:26,618
Oh, I'm just messing with you,
lego head.
141
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:30,747
I go by Stan. Stan halen,
'cause my real name sucks.
142
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,062
What?
143
00:05:32,187 --> 00:05:33,750
I go by Adam Dave Matthews Band.
144
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,210
Okay, whatever.
Hey!
145
00:05:35,524 --> 00:05:36,920
You guys like oakleys?
146
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,439
- I'm a sales rep.
- Dude!
147
00:05:38,564 --> 00:05:39,873
- One for you.
- Seriously?
148
00:05:39,998 --> 00:05:41,758
Skip you.
One for you.
149
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,886
It's a sick job, I stack crazy bank.
150
00:05:45,052 --> 00:05:48,848
Now let's get this party
back off track!
151
00:06:01,256 --> 00:06:03,905
Stan, Stan, Stan,
Stan, Stan, Stan!
152
00:06:04,071 --> 00:06:06,658
Fore!
153
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:09,786
Anders!
'Sup, you lego head?
154
00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:11,121
- Ahh!
- Ow.
155
00:06:11,368 --> 00:06:12,789
Blake!
156
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:14,712
Carrot top, more like carrot bottom.
157
00:06:14,837 --> 00:06:15,917
Hey!
158
00:06:16,083 --> 00:06:17,294
Like he takes it up the butt.
159
00:06:18,502 --> 00:06:19,838
Oh, hey.
You're here?
160
00:06:20,106 --> 00:06:22,215
I probably look like I take it
up the butt too, right?
161
00:06:22,474 --> 00:06:23,466
No, man, you're fine.
162
00:06:23,632 --> 00:06:26,019
Come on, dudes!
Bar golfing day!
163
00:06:26,144 --> 00:06:28,471
Sunday fraternity tradition.
164
00:06:28,711 --> 00:06:30,473
You're cool, dude.
165
00:06:30,639 --> 00:06:32,522
I happen to have
all-time legend status
166
00:06:32,647 --> 00:06:35,979
over at kappa zeta nu, aka "the zoo."
167
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,225
Not bad.
168
00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:38,690
Initiation night's coming up,
169
00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:40,063
and I can probably get
you dick slaps in,
170
00:06:40,188 --> 00:06:41,529
depending on how cool you are.
171
00:06:41,654 --> 00:06:42,930
- Are you serious?
- We're cool, man.
172
00:06:43,055 --> 00:06:43,862
- We're so cool.
- We're cool.
173
00:06:44,088 --> 00:06:45,613
What do we have to do?
174
00:06:45,889 --> 00:06:47,782
You just have to prove that
you animals belong in the zoo.
175
00:06:47,948 --> 00:06:49,075
Now suit up!
176
00:06:49,563 --> 00:06:52,996
We're about to tee off
for the U.S. bropen.
177
00:06:53,269 --> 00:06:54,913
Oh, that sounds fun.
178
00:06:55,038 --> 00:06:57,459
I've got that Happy Gilmore,
like, hockey putter thing.
179
00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,652
- Oh, classic movie!
- Yeah.
180
00:07:00,777 --> 00:07:03,589
- It is.
- "The price is wrong, bitch!"
181
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,176
"A warm glass of a-shut the hell up!"
182
00:07:07,714 --> 00:07:08,690
"Why don't you go to your home?"
183
00:07:08,815 --> 00:07:09,637
That's my favorite part.
184
00:07:09,803 --> 00:07:11,097
You gotta get that club.
185
00:07:11,263 --> 00:07:12,831
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, uh...
186
00:07:12,956 --> 00:07:15,018
Oh, you know what, I think
it might be at the office.
187
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:16,634
Or is it in the 'Vo?
Have you guys...
188
00:07:16,759 --> 00:07:18,036
- Hey!
- I don't know.
189
00:07:18,161 --> 00:07:20,190
Drink while you think.
190
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:23,076
- That's my main rule.
- Cool rule.
191
00:07:23,201 --> 00:07:25,278
All right!
192
00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:28,740
I already drank all mine, man.
193
00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,325
Mm.
194
00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,118
Like, the whole time I'm thinking?
195
00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:33,453
You didn't stop thinking, did you?
196
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,954
Okay.
197
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,207
Rules make drinking so fun.
198
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:38,833
Fore!
199
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,976
{pub}Oh, here we are!
200
00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,980
18th hole, pussies!
201
00:07:51,105 --> 00:07:52,451
Ow!
202
00:07:52,576 --> 00:07:55,809
I'm a pussy too, right?
I'm a pussy!
203
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,358
Can we lose this guy?
204
00:07:57,483 --> 00:07:59,395
Uh, well, he's, like,
a work friend, you know?
205
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,107
So...
If it's cool...
206
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,165
- [Laughing goofily]
- The [Bleep]?
207
00:08:03,290 --> 00:08:04,776
Stop it!
208
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,487
Hey, what kind of real bar
doesn't open till noon?
209
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:08,863
Hey, dude, it's cool.
I mean...
210
00:08:09,029 --> 00:08:10,031
You don't get it.
211
00:08:10,197 --> 00:08:12,492
This is the coolest bar off campus.
212
00:08:12,737 --> 00:08:14,244
I made it the 18th hole
213
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,912
because the college babes in here
214
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,615
always let you play the 19th hole.
215
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,021
- 20th if you're lucky.
- The butt.
216
00:08:21,146 --> 00:08:22,455
- The butt!
- The butthole.
217
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:24,170
Oh, dude.
218
00:08:24,336 --> 00:08:26,506
Honestly, I could probably run
super fast to another bar
219
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:27,864
and scope it out for us,
starting now.
220
00:08:27,989 --> 00:08:29,384
- Time me.
- No way.
221
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,970
Check it.
A jetta!
222
00:08:32,197 --> 00:08:33,847
Yeah, a jet...
So what?
223
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:34,848
Go lay down in the street.
224
00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:36,476
- Lay down in the street.
- What?
225
00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:38,184
Lay down in front of that car.
Now, plaid!
226
00:08:38,406 --> 00:08:39,917
- Okay!
- All right, all right.
227
00:08:40,042 --> 00:08:41,552
- This is safe, right, guys?
- Yeah, he's just, like,
228
00:08:41,677 --> 00:08:42,772
testing our loyalty.
It's, like, a frat thing.
229
00:08:43,012 --> 00:08:44,524
Stay down, peasants!
230
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,758
All right, uh, they're not stopping!
231
00:08:46,883 --> 00:08:48,093
Let it hit you!
232
00:08:48,218 --> 00:08:49,461
They're not stopping!
Please, stop!
233
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,449
No, they stopped.
234
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,242
- Gah!
- Ahh!
235
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,994
- You guys okay?
- They're fine!
236
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,838
And I'm Stan halen.
237
00:08:57,963 --> 00:09:00,473
- Yeah.
- I'm an oakley rep.
238
00:09:00,598 --> 00:09:02,083
Share the love.
239
00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:03,585
Throwback shades.
Cool.
240
00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:04,919
Yeah!
I'd love a pair.
241
00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:07,422
Let me guess.
Tri delts?
242
00:09:07,668 --> 00:09:11,092
Um, yeah, a few years ago.
But we're still besties.
243
00:09:11,337 --> 00:09:13,678
We're kappa zeta nu boys.
244
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:15,478
You ladies wanna get drunk as [Bleep]
245
00:09:15,603 --> 00:09:17,982
And have some organized fun,
like the old days?
246
00:09:18,107 --> 00:09:19,559
Unless you can't hang.
247
00:09:19,808 --> 00:09:21,151
- It's on.
- All right, yeah.
248
00:09:21,276 --> 00:09:22,853
It's on.
15020 Hallman.
249
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,290
- Whoo.
- Chant it.
250
00:09:24,415 --> 00:09:25,523
Stan, how the hell
did you just do that?
251
00:09:25,751 --> 00:09:26,996
Jettas equal hot chicks.
252
00:09:27,121 --> 00:09:28,985
Watch The League, you [Bleep] Andre.
253
00:09:29,359 --> 00:09:30,435
What?
254
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,695
You're a bitch!
255
00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:35,408
No, no.
No, no, no, no.
256
00:09:35,734 --> 00:09:38,369
Leave 'em on.
257
00:09:39,838 --> 00:09:41,684
Hey, Adam!
258
00:09:41,809 --> 00:09:44,834
Watch that boob.
259
00:09:47,114 --> 00:09:49,188
- Blake!
- Huh?
260
00:09:49,313 --> 00:09:51,341
- You guys look way hot.
- Thank you.
261
00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:53,625
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah!
262
00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:54,859
- What are you...
- I'm tongue-[Bleep]-ing her.
263
00:09:54,984 --> 00:09:56,396
What are you doing?
264
00:09:56,521 --> 00:09:58,132
- Do you not like that?
- No!
265
00:09:58,257 --> 00:10:00,691
Can we switch?
266
00:10:07,435 --> 00:10:08,744
All right, cool.
Very cool.
267
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,612
- Keep the shades.
- Hey, later, ladies!
268
00:10:10,737 --> 00:10:12,581
Tonight was whatever for us.
269
00:10:12,706 --> 00:10:13,815
Ooh!
270
00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:16,485
- Oh, mama!
- Oh, my God, dude!
271
00:10:16,610 --> 00:10:18,022
Uh, uh, uh, uh-uh, uh, uh
272
00:10:18,147 --> 00:10:19,824
I am feeling so good.
Did you see me kissing?
273
00:10:19,949 --> 00:10:20,826
That went on for so long!
274
00:10:20,951 --> 00:10:22,080
Eh, eh, eh, eh.
275
00:10:22,587 --> 00:10:23,498
And she's like,
"I want it, I want it.
276
00:10:23,788 --> 00:10:24,997
Gimme some more, gimme some more."
277
00:10:25,122 --> 00:10:26,263
I don't know about you guys,
278
00:10:26,388 --> 00:10:29,087
but I feel like a real stud muffin.
279
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,737
- You look it, you look it.
- I mean...
280
00:10:30,862 --> 00:10:32,837
Seven hours of making out
is a world record!
281
00:10:32,962 --> 00:10:35,106
You were flopping that boob around.
282
00:10:35,231 --> 00:10:37,277
- And she was...
- Oh!
283
00:10:37,402 --> 00:10:39,879
This dance just begun, brothers!
284
00:10:40,004 --> 00:10:41,713
I'm freakin' proud of you pussies.
285
00:10:41,838 --> 00:10:42,980
That was so fraternity.
286
00:10:43,105 --> 00:10:44,082
That's what I was thinking.
287
00:10:44,207 --> 00:10:45,317
I was literally thinking like,
288
00:10:45,442 --> 00:10:47,772
"oh, my God, this is so fraternity."
289
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,316
Yeah, I just said that, Adam.
290
00:10:50,614 --> 00:10:51,818
You know my name.
291
00:10:52,116 --> 00:10:53,793
All right, enough B.S.!
292
00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:55,697
We're behind schedule.
293
00:10:55,987 --> 00:10:57,432
What is that!
294
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,659
- Is that pesticide?
- Nope, bushmills.
295
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,536
'Cause you know
where we're going, gentlemen?
296
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,672
We're going gardening
at a beer garden!
297
00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:05,773
Let's roll!
298
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:07,207
Dude, that sounds awesome!
299
00:11:07,332 --> 00:11:09,508
But, uh, we're a little bushed
300
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:12,212
from already...
From gardening those hoes.
301
00:11:12,337 --> 00:11:13,347
Yeah.
302
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:15,349
We used the hoes to garden.
303
00:11:15,474 --> 00:11:17,016
Yeah, and I know I wouldn't mind
304
00:11:17,141 --> 00:11:19,304
whacking my weed downstairs.
305
00:11:19,643 --> 00:11:21,264
That is not freakin' cool!
306
00:11:21,513 --> 00:11:24,227
We're hitting Karl Strauss right now,
307
00:11:24,352 --> 00:11:26,666
unless you've got another friend
308
00:11:26,791 --> 00:11:30,106
with all-time legend
fraternity status.
309
00:11:30,363 --> 00:11:32,567
No! We don't have any friends.
310
00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:34,694
- Let's party!
- Yeah!
311
00:11:34,938 --> 00:11:37,030
Get some!
312
00:11:38,443 --> 00:11:40,055
Ah, this sucks, dude.
313
00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:41,758
Oh!
314
00:11:41,883 --> 00:11:43,896
Look at this crew!
315
00:11:44,021 --> 00:11:45,330
Who knows what day it is?
316
00:11:45,589 --> 00:11:47,123
I do.
It's Monday.
317
00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:49,292
Initiation day!
318
00:11:49,661 --> 00:11:52,001
Tonight, you pledges become members
319
00:11:52,126 --> 00:11:53,603
of kappa zeta nu.
320
00:11:53,728 --> 00:11:56,439
Which means
we gotta drink the house dry.
321
00:11:56,564 --> 00:11:57,925
Right now!
322
00:11:58,199 --> 00:11:59,307
- Let's do it.
- Oh, man.
323
00:11:59,432 --> 00:12:01,240
Come on, I'm too sleepy though.
324
00:12:01,365 --> 00:12:03,973
Yeah, we're into it.
We just... we need a little break.
325
00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:06,017
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you guys on your periods?
326
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,477
No.
327
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,396
Well, that's too bad, 'cause I am.
328
00:12:11,906 --> 00:12:12,881
- Oh!
- Whoa!
329
00:12:13,006 --> 00:12:14,233
- Ugh!
- Very gross.
330
00:12:14,574 --> 00:12:15,693
Vodka-soaked tampon.
331
00:12:15,975 --> 00:12:17,985
Alcohol absorbs,
like, 50 times faster
332
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:19,155
through the pooper.
333
00:12:19,443 --> 00:12:21,282
- That's cool.
- It's science!
334
00:12:21,578 --> 00:12:24,285
It's gross, man!
And dangerous, for sure.
335
00:12:24,614 --> 00:12:25,924
Don't be gay.
Put this in your butt.
336
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:27,423
No.
337
00:12:27,548 --> 00:12:29,624
You put this
in your South mouth right now,
338
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,209
or no kappa zeta nu!
339
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,002
I'm not putting anything up my butt.
340
00:12:33,220 --> 00:12:35,630
That is a privileged area
for my first wife only,
341
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,133
if she so wants to explore there.
342
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,135
Ain't a damn thing changed.
343
00:12:43,627 --> 00:12:46,474
I'll do it.
344
00:12:46,796 --> 00:12:48,807
It'll be an honor.
345
00:12:48,932 --> 00:12:50,075
You don't have to.
346
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,543
Just shove it right up there, huh?
347
00:12:51,668 --> 00:12:53,735
Ew.
348
00:12:56,136 --> 00:12:57,360
Good decision.
349
00:12:57,670 --> 00:12:58,528
You [Bleep] bitch!
350
00:12:58,772 --> 00:13:00,015
Yeah!
351
00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:02,073
- It's too late.
- I'm a bitch!
352
00:13:02,376 --> 00:13:03,616
- Whoo!
- Later, boys!
353
00:13:03,911 --> 00:13:05,821
Kappa zeta nu only.
354
00:13:05,946 --> 00:13:07,245
Whoo!
I'm part of the zoo!
355
00:13:09,685 --> 00:13:10,962
It's like a monkey-dog.
356
00:13:11,087 --> 00:13:12,665
Stick that up your ass now,
you pussy!
357
00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:14,001
Yes, sir.
358
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:16,045
Oh! Wow!
359
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:18,106
Oh! Ho!
360
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,007
Oh, my God, it's like
my butthole grabbed it.
361
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,531
That was easy!
It just...
362
00:13:29,553 --> 00:13:31,551
I mean, like, hazing is one thing.
363
00:13:31,676 --> 00:13:33,104
But you gotta
draw the line somewhere.
364
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:34,323
Oh, yeah, you start talking
365
00:13:34,448 --> 00:13:36,058
about putting stuff in my back door,
366
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:37,357
I'm leaving out the front door
367
00:13:37,524 --> 00:13:38,523
with my dignity.
368
00:13:38,648 --> 00:13:40,319
I got dignified butthole.
369
00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:42,129
Hang on a second.
It's my phone again.
370
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:43,781
Adam... again.
371
00:13:43,947 --> 00:13:45,098
I just... let me just see
what they're doing.
372
00:13:45,223 --> 00:13:46,832
Well, no!
Adam, hey, bud!
373
00:13:46,957 --> 00:13:49,002
We don't wanna join your frat,
and that's that!
374
00:13:49,127 --> 00:13:50,505
- Turn it off, please, man.
- Okay, all right.
375
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:51,939
Come on!
I need to sleep, Anders.
376
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:53,166
It's off!
377
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,001
I was listening to your convo.
378
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,335
What? Hi.
379
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:58,421
I almost joined a frat
in college myself,
380
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:01,424
but they tried to make me chug a 40.
381
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:02,675
That's crazy, bill.
382
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:04,453
So I walked out on them,
383
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,971
and that's how I got
the bitchin' life I have today.
384
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,825
I've been to almost nine
state capitals.
385
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,763
I'm greyhounding to Sacramento
this weekend...
386
00:14:12,888 --> 00:14:14,562
With flat Stanley.
387
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:17,648
We've been to des moines...
388
00:14:17,814 --> 00:14:19,168
I don't care.
389
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:21,137
Something up my butt
for 60 seconds, whatever.
390
00:14:21,262 --> 00:14:22,904
Yeah, I mean,
Christopher walken had a...
391
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:24,708
Watch up his ass
392
00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:26,157
in Pulp Fiction.
393
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:27,543
Dude, that's funny!
Do that for Stan.
394
00:14:27,668 --> 00:14:29,010
- Yeah, man.
- That's a solid quote.
395
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:30,413
I've been working on that impression
396
00:14:30,538 --> 00:14:31,996
for three years.
397
00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:34,417
- Follow my lead.
- Yeah.
398
00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:36,251
We know Stan, Stan knows us.
399
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,877
- Hey.
- Can I help you?
400
00:14:38,509 --> 00:14:41,464
Yes, we are here to be initiated.
401
00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,055
Yeah, we were being real,
uh, sigma newbs earlier.
402
00:14:44,180 --> 00:14:47,011
But... go ahead and shove
a tampon up my ass!
403
00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:48,638
Sorry, who are you?
404
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,464
Oh, we're Stan's pledges.
Better let us in.
405
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:52,433
- Uh, top pledges.
- Right.
406
00:14:52,599 --> 00:14:54,201
- Oh, dip. Stan?
- Yeah.
407
00:14:54,326 --> 00:14:55,433
- Halen?
- Right.
408
00:14:55,558 --> 00:14:57,067
- Yeah.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
409
00:14:57,192 --> 00:14:59,190
Stan's trying to initiate people now?
410
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:01,406
Yeah, well, he's got all-time
legendary status here, so.
411
00:15:01,531 --> 00:15:03,641
No. No!
Stan was never in kappa zeta nu.
412
00:15:03,766 --> 00:15:06,009
Yeah, he's just an insane guy
who lurks around
413
00:15:06,134 --> 00:15:07,323
and tries to party with us.
414
00:15:08,806 --> 00:15:10,083
Yeah, man...
415
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:11,450
But that's probably a different Stan.
416
00:15:11,575 --> 00:15:12,912
This Stan is, uh...
417
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,831
Well, he's a staunch fellow
with, um, very...
418
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,623
- That's him.
- That's a picture of...
419
00:15:16,748 --> 00:15:18,491
- That's a picture of him.
- I knew it, I knew it!
420
00:15:18,616 --> 00:15:20,059
I knew it, I knew it,
I knew it, I knew it.
421
00:15:20,184 --> 00:15:22,296
I knew it, and I...
And I told myself I knew it.
422
00:15:22,462 --> 00:15:24,215
He's alone in the house
with our friend right now.
423
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:26,843
Be careful, Stan's, like,
a real psych-bro-path.
424
00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,928
Yeah, he's a, uh, bro-ciopath.
425
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,304
- That's funny, but...
- That was good.
426
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,681
- Here he is.
- Come home!
427
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,099
He's gone completely crazy!
Oh, God!
428
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,684
We gotta go.
Come on, come on, come on!
429
00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,177
Come on, come on!
430
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:37,603
Oh, he's a...
He's a bro-mophobe!
431
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:39,847
- Bro-mophobe!
- Bro-mophobe.
432
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,732
Bro-mophobe.
433
00:15:41,898 --> 00:15:43,609
Keeps going to his voicemail.
434
00:15:43,775 --> 00:15:45,288
Come on, Adam!
Pick up!
435
00:15:45,413 --> 00:15:47,822
Oh, no, dude.
I'm pretty sure they're here.
436
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,497
Come on!
437
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,915
You don't know what we're gonna see.
438
00:15:58,081 --> 00:15:59,268
Adam?
Adam?
439
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,752
- Jesus!
- Stan!
440
00:16:01,918 --> 00:16:03,207
If that's even your real name.
441
00:16:03,332 --> 00:16:05,175
Or Steve!
Oh, I bet it's Steve.
442
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,210
Or is it Michael?
You look like a Michael, man.
443
00:16:07,335 --> 00:16:08,846
And I'm gonna be pissed
if that's your name.
444
00:16:08,971 --> 00:16:10,480
I'm right here.
445
00:16:10,605 --> 00:16:12,179
Sorry, I fell asleep while standing.
446
00:16:12,473 --> 00:16:14,284
- It's easy to do.
- Oh, no.
447
00:16:14,409 --> 00:16:16,019
Oh, my God!
Are you okay, man?
448
00:16:16,144 --> 00:16:18,227
- Oh, dip!
- Oh, dip.
449
00:16:18,393 --> 00:16:20,190
"Oh, dip"?
Are we saying that now?
450
00:16:20,315 --> 00:16:22,440
Yeah, some frat dude said it,
so we're gonna start using it.
451
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:23,649
Oh!
452
00:16:23,815 --> 00:16:24,928
Oh, I got...
I got hazed.
453
00:16:25,053 --> 00:16:26,263
Looks cool, huh?
454
00:16:26,388 --> 00:16:28,696
Um...
Yeah! No, it's cool.
455
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:30,168
Yeah, sometimes
you gotta reinvent yourself.
456
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,700
- Miley Cyrus did it, rihanna.
- No, shut up!
457
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,242
Stop, Adam, stop!
Look, here's the deal.
458
00:16:33,408 --> 00:16:35,912
He was never in a frat.
Stan's lying to you.
459
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,671
- What!
- Yeah, here.
460
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:39,173
- That doesn't seem real.
- It's real, trust me.
461
00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:42,418
Dudes!
You came back!
462
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,795
I made you dinner.
463
00:16:44,961 --> 00:16:46,213
Ahh!
464
00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:47,946
Stan, it's great to see you and all,
465
00:16:48,071 --> 00:16:49,175
but, uh, we think you oughta go.
466
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,427
We know you weren't in kappa...
467
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:53,554
Zeta nu.
468
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,484
Really?
469
00:16:56,609 --> 00:16:59,685
Well, if I wasn't in kappa zeta nu,
470
00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:02,919
would I do this?
471
00:17:06,886 --> 00:17:08,277
Oh, yeah!
472
00:17:08,443 --> 00:17:09,862
- Whoo!
- Cool!
473
00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:12,632
Oh, it's come out perfect!
474
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,954
Wow, I might need
one of you bros to blow on this.
475
00:17:19,871 --> 00:17:23,125
We are starting our own chapter
of kappa zeta nu.
476
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:25,878
And my main rule is, once you're in,
477
00:17:26,044 --> 00:17:27,515
you're never getting out.
478
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,341
Okay, hey, you get that
hot iron thing away from us.
479
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:31,842
Ugh, it smells like barbecue.
480
00:17:32,008 --> 00:17:33,487
Like a Memphis rub...
Aah!
481
00:17:35,849 --> 00:17:37,126
I'm the hero!
Did you see that?
482
00:17:37,251 --> 00:17:38,597
I'm a hero.
483
00:17:38,722 --> 00:17:40,685
Oh, shit.
Don't... don't run into this.
484
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:43,769
Close the door!
485
00:17:46,773 --> 00:17:48,651
Time to become fraternity brothers
486
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,069
forever.
487
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,648
But where's the most epic place
to brand you?
488
00:17:52,773 --> 00:17:54,573
The bicep?
Maybe the calf?
489
00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:56,575
Drink while you think!
490
00:17:56,741 --> 00:17:57,868
- What?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
491
00:17:58,034 --> 00:17:59,255
You're thinking about places
to brand us.
492
00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:00,329
That means you gotta be drinking.
493
00:18:00,549 --> 00:18:01,625
- That's your rule!
- Yeah.
494
00:18:01,750 --> 00:18:02,892
It's like a main one, right?
495
00:18:03,017 --> 00:18:06,877
Fine, my buzz is wearing off anyway.
496
00:18:07,043 --> 00:18:09,363
They're all empty, bro.
497
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:10,881
We drank the house!
498
00:18:11,047 --> 00:18:12,235
That means you need
to go on a beer run
499
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,104
- and leave us alone.
- Uh-uh.
500
00:18:14,229 --> 00:18:16,340
You can't leave pledges unattended.
501
00:18:16,465 --> 00:18:19,710
I'll find something to drink.
502
00:18:19,835 --> 00:18:22,393
Hey! Hey!
This has alcohol in it.
503
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,583
Just an air freshener thing.
504
00:18:24,708 --> 00:18:26,397
I'm not drinking that pussy piss.
505
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,566
Well, then you're breaking
one of your number one rules,
506
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,289
you... peasant!
507
00:18:30,414 --> 00:18:31,688
- Peasant!
- Yeah.
508
00:18:31,813 --> 00:18:33,356
- Ooh.
- He's scared to drink it.
509
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:35,990
You're a scared little bitch peasant.
510
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:38,397
Go [Bleep] yourself, San Diego!
511
00:18:38,522 --> 00:18:39,732
Nice.
512
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:41,035
- Classic line.
- That was a good line.
513
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,337
It's so good!
514
00:18:42,462 --> 00:18:44,340
Once it hits your lips, it's so good.
515
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:45,958
Old school.
516
00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:48,279
Milk was a... bad choice.
Anchorman.
517
00:18:48,404 --> 00:18:50,316
Anchorman.
518
00:18:50,441 --> 00:18:51,684
We might have killed him, right?
519
00:18:51,809 --> 00:18:52,818
I don't think so.
What are you...
520
00:18:52,943 --> 00:18:54,387
Come on, hey.
521
00:18:54,512 --> 00:18:56,055
- Oh! Try it, try it.
- Do it again, do it again.
522
00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:57,357
- Here, let me do it.
- They're gonna know that...
523
00:18:57,482 --> 00:18:58,991
Hey, guys, come on!
524
00:18:59,116 --> 00:19:00,681
- Just have one, just have one.
- Grow up, grow up.
525
00:19:00,847 --> 00:19:02,683
If you're gonna do it,
do it right on the ass.
526
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:11,566
{pub}Sick ride!
We should cruise,
527
00:19:11,691 --> 00:19:13,968
pick up some rando sluts, film it,
528
00:19:14,093 --> 00:19:15,971
call this the slam-bulance!
529
00:19:16,096 --> 00:19:17,323
That's a great idea.
530
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:18,707
You sure you don't
wanna come with us?
531
00:19:18,832 --> 00:19:20,618
- You look pretty bad.
- Literally.
532
00:19:20,836 --> 00:19:23,377
Okay, best of luck.
533
00:19:23,502 --> 00:19:26,381
Sorry things got so weird
there at the end, Stan!
534
00:19:26,506 --> 00:19:28,787
Yeah, and, uh, go back
to stalking those frat guys,
535
00:19:28,912 --> 00:19:30,590
dickhead!
536
00:19:30,715 --> 00:19:33,047
Oh, maybe we should take that down.
537
00:19:33,450 --> 00:19:35,257
Yeah, or...
538
00:19:35,654 --> 00:19:38,229
We could throw the most
legendary kappa zeta nu party
539
00:19:38,354 --> 00:19:39,730
ever thrown.
540
00:19:39,855 --> 00:19:41,331
I think that sounds...
541
00:19:41,456 --> 00:19:43,140
Like an awesome idea, you pussy!
542
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:50,939
Oh, no!
You're a pussy!
543
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,275
No, you're the party's tanking.
544
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,151
More importantly,
out of vodka and hummus.
545
00:19:54,470 --> 00:19:56,415
Don't worry.
546
00:19:56,540 --> 00:19:57,863
I got this.
547
00:19:58,209 --> 00:19:59,519
Okay, so we're out of beer!
548
00:19:59,644 --> 00:20:01,200
But it's cool,
549
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:05,192
'cause this is now
a "take your titties out" party!
550
00:20:05,317 --> 00:20:06,894
That is right!
551
00:20:07,019 --> 00:20:10,396
So, ladies, let's get
those blammos out and blam out!
552
00:20:10,521 --> 00:20:13,087
- Whoo!
- Blam on.
553
00:20:13,489 --> 00:20:15,331
- Why isn't this working?
- This is not working.
554
00:20:15,456 --> 00:20:16,833
- Can I see your blams?
- They're leaving actually.
555
00:20:16,958 --> 00:20:18,101
- Can we?
- Yep, they're leaving.
556
00:20:18,226 --> 00:20:19,469
I'd love to see those blams.
557
00:20:19,594 --> 00:20:20,838
This was better when Stan was here.
558
00:20:20,963 --> 00:20:21,839
Let's call Stan.
559
00:20:21,964 --> 00:20:23,042
No. Are you crazy?
560
00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:24,223
He's in a psych ward, Adam.
561
00:20:24,501 --> 00:20:26,112
We can...
Figure this out.
562
00:20:26,237 --> 00:20:28,549
Okay, it's a...
It's a "no rules" party.
563
00:20:28,674 --> 00:20:30,319
No rules.
564
00:20:30,444 --> 00:20:32,288
There's no booze, no rules.
There's no anything!
565
00:20:32,413 --> 00:20:33,790
Okay, we're gonna go think.
You think.
566
00:20:33,915 --> 00:20:36,394
Well, rules is
what makes drinking fun, so...
567
00:20:36,519 --> 00:20:38,154
All right.
568
00:20:38,455 --> 00:20:41,534
Hi. I'd like to speak
with one of your patients.
569
00:20:41,659 --> 00:20:43,903
Stan halen.
570
00:20:44,028 --> 00:20:45,539
You can tell him it's the...
571
00:20:45,664 --> 00:20:47,377
Bitch-ass...
572
00:20:47,502 --> 00:20:49,347
You peasant.
573
00:20:49,472 --> 00:20:50,982
Sorry, your name's Stacey?
574
00:20:51,107 --> 00:20:53,550
Stacey, you can tell him
it's the bitch-ass.
575
00:20:53,675 --> 00:20:54,461
Nice.
576
00:20:54,511 --> 00:20:59,061
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