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1
00:00:00,912 --> 00:00:01,711
Alice, perfect.
2
00:00:02,357 --> 00:00:04,810
You can time us.
Yeah, here you go.
3
00:00:04,935 --> 00:00:06,049
- Yes.
- What is this?
4
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:08,046
Oh, Rancho Cucapizza
5
00:00:08,171 --> 00:00:10,482
is having a little promotional
eating contest,
6
00:00:10,607 --> 00:00:13,138
and the winner gets...
Read that bottom line there.
7
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:15,821
Read that.
8
00:00:15,946 --> 00:00:18,895
Well, it said, uh,
wins free pizza for a year!
9
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,993
Yeah, all we gotta do is eat
a Humonga Cucamonga
10
00:00:21,118 --> 00:00:22,440
in under 30 minutes.
11
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:23,729
See, they make the pizza so hot
12
00:00:23,854 --> 00:00:25,063
that all the other dumb buffoons,
13
00:00:25,188 --> 00:00:27,132
they'll just burn their pipes.
14
00:00:27,257 --> 00:00:29,238
But we are no idiots.
15
00:00:29,459 --> 00:00:31,537
Our mouths will already be burned.
16
00:00:31,662 --> 00:00:32,825
- Yep, via spoons.
- Mm-hmm.
17
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,373
We're gonna put these hot spoons
18
00:00:34,498 --> 00:00:35,828
on our tongues.
19
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:36,954
- Yep.
- We're gonna burn them
20
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,243
so that the pizza won't burn them.
21
00:00:38,368 --> 00:00:39,999
Okay, Alice, start the clock.
22
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,313
- Yeah, start it.
- We need you to time us.
23
00:00:41,438 --> 00:00:42,376
Oh, she started, she started, start.
24
00:00:51,548 --> 00:00:53,225
Oh, God!
Oh, thah wath tho hot!
25
00:00:53,350 --> 00:00:55,138
- What do we got?
- What do we got for time?
26
00:00:55,304 --> 00:00:57,600
What's the time?
Oh, she didn't thart the clock.
27
00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,018
- What? She didn't thart it?
- Yeah, it was perfect.
28
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,266
It's gonna sound real good
on the phones.
29
00:01:01,391 --> 00:01:02,730
Jagmos.
30
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,736
I don't like how
she always puth uth down
31
00:01:04,861 --> 00:01:06,872
when we're trying
to better ourthevles here.
32
00:01:06,997 --> 00:01:10,075
And who are the idiots here?
33
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,280
Round two.
34
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:15,367
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
35
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,791
I don't feel a thing.
36
00:01:25,916 --> 00:01:27,626
I'm stabbing the [bleep]
outta my tongue, dude.
37
00:01:27,751 --> 00:01:29,757
Might be bleeding,
but I can't feel it.
38
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,550
I think it's safe to say
our mouths are invincible.
39
00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:33,260
- Mark Wahlberg.
- But that won't mean anything
40
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,767
if I can't get stoned
before the contest,
41
00:01:35,892 --> 00:01:37,769
because I literally can't eat
42
00:01:40,864 --> 00:01:42,019
Yeah, man, I know.
It's...
43
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,442
I've called Karl, like, 16 times.
44
00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:44,939
He's not picking up.
45
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,482
I'm just worried about Karl.
46
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:49,192
I don't like leaving him
with his thoughts.
47
00:01:49,358 --> 00:01:50,816
I could care less
if he was dead or alive.
48
00:01:50,941 --> 00:01:53,385
I don't want to sound cold,
but you know me.
49
00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:55,449
I've got that Michael Phelps
swim fan appetite.
50
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,822
But my hungry hippos over here,
51
00:01:56,947 --> 00:01:58,744
you need weed to maximize the munch.
52
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,993
I am a hungry, hungry hippo.
53
00:02:01,118 --> 00:02:03,829
And we need a new drug dealer...
54
00:02:03,954 --> 00:02:05,209
Now.
55
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,752
Where you gonna find
a new drug dealer?
56
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,800
You can't just go
to a drug dealer store.
57
00:02:08,925 --> 00:02:12,004
I say we go to the seediest,
most scummiest place
58
00:02:12,129 --> 00:02:15,107
in all of Rancho Cucamonga...
59
00:02:15,232 --> 00:02:16,929
A tattoo parlor.
60
00:02:21,872 --> 00:02:25,021
Adam, are you sure this is
a place to find street drugs?
61
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,351
Just think, dude.
62
00:02:26,476 --> 00:02:29,087
All drug dealers have tattoos, right?
63
00:02:29,212 --> 00:02:33,358
Hence, thereforced...
64
00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:36,695
All tattoo parlors have drug dealers.
65
00:02:36,820 --> 00:02:40,032
It's elementary school,
my Emma Watson.
66
00:02:40,157 --> 00:02:41,537
Right? Okay.
Follow my lead.
67
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,330
We might have to speak in code.
68
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,040
I don't know if he's undercover.
I don't know, man.
69
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,919
Okeydokey.
What can I do for ya?
70
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,508
Something tribal, Chinese?
71
00:02:49,633 --> 00:02:51,964
I don't do curse words
in any language.
72
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,447
Well, we are looking to buy something
73
00:02:55,572 --> 00:02:58,016
so we may...
74
00:02:58,141 --> 00:03:00,764
Smokey-boo?
75
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:03,088
Because we've run out
of things that we...
76
00:03:03,213 --> 00:03:05,477
Schmooo.
77
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,480
- What're you guys doing?
- We want to buy
78
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,828
some weeeeerd,
79
00:03:09,953 --> 00:03:13,986
so that we can put it
in our beeerd and smeerrk it.
80
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:19,366
Smake in a pat.
81
00:03:19,629 --> 00:03:20,973
Get an apple, and then we can shmeek.
82
00:03:21,098 --> 00:03:22,536
Guys.
83
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:25,377
Love the energy,
but you can't hang out here.
84
00:03:25,502 --> 00:03:28,714
This space is for customers.
85
00:03:28,839 --> 00:03:29,960
Okay.
86
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,283
Aah! Haa!
87
00:03:31,408 --> 00:03:33,422
- There we go.
- Aah.
88
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:34,853
Oh, it looks so beautiful.
89
00:03:34,978 --> 00:03:36,425
- Yeah.
- Princess.
90
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:37,689
Oh, that hurt a little.
91
00:03:37,814 --> 00:03:40,425
You know what would numb the pain?
92
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:41,680
Weed.
93
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,224
Oh, ho, ho.
94
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,017
U got the wrong guy, pal.
95
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:46,765
Okay, he winked earlier.
96
00:03:46,890 --> 00:03:49,688
That was... can I at least get
the stud that I paid for?
97
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:51,565
I'm bummed, dude.
98
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,025
This is a bust.
99
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,506
Adam, this is not a bust.
100
00:03:54,631 --> 00:03:56,195
You got a banging-ass
bellybutton ring, bro.
101
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,810
- Yes, you did.
- Honestly...
102
00:03:58,935 --> 00:04:00,533
I don't even know
if I'm gonna keep it.
103
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:01,780
- Oh, come... don't say that.
- Adam, come on.
104
00:04:01,905 --> 00:04:03,048
- It's banging-ass.
- Come on.
105
00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:04,850
Banging-ass.
It's lame-ass.
106
00:04:04,975 --> 00:04:06,413
Heard what you guys were asking for.
107
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,354
Might be able to help you out.
108
00:04:09,479 --> 00:04:11,460
Meet me out back in ten minutes.
109
00:04:12,983 --> 00:04:14,921
Hey.
110
00:04:15,087 --> 00:04:17,362
Make it 15.
111
00:04:17,487 --> 00:04:20,799
I want to go
to that pet store next door.
112
00:04:20,924 --> 00:04:23,668
Whoa. Holy Moly.
113
00:04:23,793 --> 00:04:26,392
So what exactly
are you guys looking for?
114
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,102
- I don't do this, so...
- Weed, mostly.
115
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,104
Hash? Keef? Hybrids?
116
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,856
Isolation tents, if you're
into spiritual journeys?
117
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,024
- Uh...
- We are.
118
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,313
- I could definitely.
- Yeah.
119
00:04:35,438 --> 00:04:36,652
Sample away.
120
00:04:36,940 --> 00:04:38,445
- Oh, that's all you.
- May I hit this?
121
00:04:40,510 --> 00:04:42,754
Strap me in.
I'm ready to go to war.
122
00:04:42,879 --> 00:04:45,157
War on my brain!
123
00:04:45,282 --> 00:04:47,371
Hang on one minute here, okay?
124
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:48,593
The stuff Karl gives us
125
00:04:48,718 --> 00:04:50,095
has a bunch of stems in it.
126
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:51,263
How do we know this even
comes from a plant?
127
00:04:51,388 --> 00:04:53,627
- Yeah.
- Right?
128
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,434
Looks like you made it
in a creepy crawler machine.
129
00:04:55,559 --> 00:04:57,006
- What is that?
- It's all purple.
130
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,216
It's from our
state-of-the-art grow house.
131
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,206
It's Enriquez goofing around
during the harvest.
132
00:05:01,331 --> 00:05:02,595
Okay, okay.
133
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,842
God damn, you had me at Enriquez.
134
00:05:03,967 --> 00:05:05,177
Sorry, Karl.
135
00:05:05,302 --> 00:05:06,745
I have those same pants.
136
00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:08,346
Uh, and I notice you have a, uh...
137
00:05:08,471 --> 00:05:11,395
Is that a hash-based
olive oil substitute?
138
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,522
- It is. Good eye.
- Oh, wow.
139
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:14,920
- Look at that.
- That is nice.
140
00:05:15,045 --> 00:05:17,484
Yeah, I'm kind of a gourmand,
so, uh...
141
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,791
Whoo! I been daaancin'.
142
00:05:19,916 --> 00:05:21,293
This pretty thing
took me to a whole new world.
143
00:05:21,418 --> 00:05:22,794
I'll take it out there.
144
00:05:22,919 --> 00:05:24,362
- Yeah.
- Whoo! Can I keep this?
145
00:05:24,487 --> 00:05:26,744
- Hello, doc.
- I'm keeping this.
146
00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:29,701
Smoke that kush, pass that straw
147
00:05:29,826 --> 00:05:32,137
smoke that kush
148
00:05:32,262 --> 00:05:34,773
Oh, sugar, honey, iced tea.
149
00:05:34,898 --> 00:05:36,086
I am stoned.
150
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:37,909
You know, Karl's weed,
151
00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:39,840
it's just fingering me, man.
152
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,551
But this chick's soft, warm bud's
153
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,053
rattling my "g" spot.
154
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,283
I like that, dude.
155
00:05:45,408 --> 00:05:47,265
- Guuuys.
- Ooh.
156
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:50,809
Made some pretty dope beignets.
157
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,310
You get it?
Dope, like grass.
158
00:05:52,476 --> 00:05:53,625
There's grass in these beignets.
159
00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:55,647
- Oh, okay.
- Very underused.
160
00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:59,064
Is it, now?
Well, now it isn't, is it?
161
00:05:59,189 --> 00:06:00,444
Isn't it?
162
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,112
Dude, you should keep saying grass
163
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:05,403
because it's like
a slice of Americana.
164
00:06:05,528 --> 00:06:06,738
- I will.
- Yeah.
165
00:06:06,863 --> 00:06:09,662
Pass me the grass, Mr. Roosevelt.
166
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,911
Certainly, Mr. my friend Brent's dad.
167
00:06:13,036 --> 00:06:15,668
He's cool, man.
He used to wear a cane.
168
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,115
Any dude that wears a cane,
you know he's, like...
169
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,421
A gentleman.
170
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,049
- I got it.
- Was that real?
171
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,050
- Who is it?
- Um...
172
00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:25,223
An angel just got...
173
00:06:25,348 --> 00:06:26,391
Oh, God.
174
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:28,013
Oh, God, it's... it's Charl.
175
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,528
- What?
- It's Karl, man. It's Karl!
176
00:06:29,653 --> 00:06:31,349
- Hide it! Put it away!
- Hide it, hide it, hide it.
177
00:06:31,515 --> 00:06:32,631
We don't need to hide anything.
178
00:06:32,756 --> 00:06:34,032
We're not doing anything wrong, okay?
179
00:06:34,157 --> 00:06:35,520
Let's just talk to him.
180
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:37,022
We'll talk to him.
181
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,482
Man to beast.
182
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,984
Uh-huh.
183
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,974
Well, look what washed ashore
at the grossest beach
184
00:06:43,099 --> 00:06:44,209
I've ever been to.
185
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:46,878
Hey, sorry I've been off the grid
186
00:06:47,003 --> 00:06:48,158
for a little bit, guys.
187
00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:49,414
This dog ate my phone,
188
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:50,916
and then I had to adopt her,
189
00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:52,371
and now I'm just waiting
for her to pass it.
190
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,344
- Sure.
- C'est la vie.
191
00:06:57,714 --> 00:07:00,587
I wonder who that is.
192
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,714
Anyway, what's been going on
with you guys, huh?
193
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,925
- What's happening over here?
- Pbbt. Nothing, man.
194
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,719
We're just trying to function.
195
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,220
Whose weed is that?
196
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:11,598
Ohhh, that's...
197
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,392
We got... that's your weed.
198
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,686
We only buy weed from you, baby.
199
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:17,809
You think I don't know
what my weed looks like, man?
200
00:07:17,934 --> 00:07:19,315
What is going on here?
201
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,566
- Um...
- Karl...
202
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,982
We have needs, right?
203
00:07:24,107 --> 00:07:26,738
And you, frankly,
were not meeting those needs.
204
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:28,510
So you went to a stranger
for your weed?
205
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:31,957
No, we went to a stranger for grass.
206
00:07:32,082 --> 00:07:33,349
We're calling it grass now.
207
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,427
Grass? What the heck are you talk...
208
00:07:35,552 --> 00:07:37,165
What... what is he even talking about?
209
00:07:37,331 --> 00:07:38,417
It was just once, Karl.
210
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,588
It didn't mean anything.
211
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,170
Were they...
212
00:07:45,295 --> 00:07:47,305
Better than me?
213
00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:50,008
Not better.
214
00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:52,180
Just different.
215
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,848
No.
216
00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:56,114
She's better.
She's way better.
217
00:07:56,239 --> 00:07:58,683
You know why? 'Cause she opened
my eyes to a world of weed
218
00:07:58,808 --> 00:08:00,314
that I never even knew about
219
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,775
with gadgets and gizmos and edibles.
220
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,329
- Edibles?
- Yeah.
221
00:08:04,454 --> 00:08:05,402
What's that?
222
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,695
Don't play dumb.
It means, like, pot brownies.
223
00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:09,661
Pot brownies? No, brownies
are made out of fudge, Blake.
224
00:08:09,786 --> 00:08:11,450
Come on.
You know that.
225
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,660
Well, maybe that's part
of the problem, Karl.
226
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:16,234
You ever think of that, man?
227
00:08:16,359 --> 00:08:17,569
You guys are acting crazy right now.
228
00:08:17,694 --> 00:08:19,404
You're all acting insane.
229
00:08:19,529 --> 00:08:21,168
You're... you're smoking brownies,
and you're eating weed?
230
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,877
It's called grass now!
231
00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:23,842
Oh, you wanna yell?
Let's yell!
232
00:08:23,967 --> 00:08:25,839
Don't do this, Karl!
233
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:29,714
You did this!
Not me!
234
00:08:29,839 --> 00:08:32,083
And what's funny is I even found
you dudes a present,
235
00:08:32,208 --> 00:08:33,551
because I was thinking
about you dudes.
236
00:08:33,676 --> 00:08:36,100
Joe Dirt, man.
In the dirt.
237
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,560
Freakin' see ya.
238
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:39,978
I hope she was worth it.
239
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,917
Because you threw away
something special.
240
00:08:42,187 --> 00:08:44,024
I thought we were Brajes.
241
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,196
Now, if you'll excuse me,
242
00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:47,194
I need to try and take
this phone call.
243
00:08:49,826 --> 00:08:52,658
Hello?
Hello?
244
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,173
Happens when you give
an animal an animal.
245
00:08:55,298 --> 00:08:57,175
Guys, I know this hurts right now,
246
00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:58,497
but it's for the best.
247
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,278
Mommy, if you can hear me,
248
00:09:00,403 --> 00:09:01,875
I need you now.
249
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:07,965
That is good, very good.
250
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,034
I've been talking with the dudes,
251
00:09:10,159 --> 00:09:13,511
and we love
what we've been shmeeking.
252
00:09:13,677 --> 00:09:15,598
Compared to our last guy, you...
253
00:09:15,764 --> 00:09:17,307
Are the kitty's titties.
254
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:18,850
- The kitty's titties. Meow.
- He ain't lying.
255
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:20,853
Why don't you guys shut up
and check under your chairs?
256
00:09:23,406 --> 00:09:25,116
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
257
00:09:25,241 --> 00:09:26,483
Oh, my God!
258
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,735
I feel like a spy right now.
259
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,113
Bong. James Bong.
260
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,057
Bong, James Bong.
261
00:09:33,182 --> 00:09:34,408
James Bong.
262
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,700
James Bong.
263
00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:37,061
Stick around, boys.
264
00:09:37,186 --> 00:09:38,787
I have another surprise
for you later.
265
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:39,955
- Surprises?
- Another surprise.
266
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,566
She has so many surprises.
267
00:09:41,691 --> 00:09:44,167
Uh-oh.
This is awkward.
268
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,436
Just let it happen.
269
00:09:45,561 --> 00:09:46,461
- Here he comes.
- Let it happen.
270
00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:47,963
Hey, Karl.
271
00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,174
- I'm not following you.
- Okay.
272
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,578
You look, uh...
273
00:09:53,703 --> 00:09:55,470
You look high.
274
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:58,749
Well, we are.
275
00:09:58,874 --> 00:09:59,933
Really high.
276
00:10:01,410 --> 00:10:03,020
That's great.
That's great.
277
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,623
You know that that's all I ever
really wanted for you,
278
00:10:05,748 --> 00:10:07,106
is for you guys to be high.
279
00:10:07,272 --> 00:10:08,191
- Mm-hmm.
- Yep, we know, Karl.
280
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,651
Thank you.
281
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:10,736
Hey, you know what?
282
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:13,364
I got a little, uh, grass.
283
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,782
Okay, damn it, Karl.
284
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:19,453
I think we all know
that's not a good idea.
285
00:10:21,063 --> 00:10:24,041
Okay.
286
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,126
Come on, rumba.
287
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:32,590
Smells like wet garbage.
288
00:10:32,756 --> 00:10:34,785
- Yeah.
- Oh, I got it.
289
00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:36,553
So listen, guys.
290
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,055
I don't know what you're up to later,
291
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,991
but I'm dropping some product off
292
00:10:40,116 --> 00:10:42,142
at a celebrity client's house.
293
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,269
You guys want to tag along?
294
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,230
Meet Lori Beth Denberg?
295
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,231
- From all that?
- Yeah.
296
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:49,942
- What?
- Whoa, ho, ho, ho!
297
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,943
And the day keeps getting better.
298
00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:54,172
Got some vital information for you.
299
00:10:54,297 --> 00:10:55,573
I'm high as [bleep]!
300
00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:58,576
- Oh, yeah, yeah!
- Pbbbt!
301
00:11:02,972 --> 00:11:04,248
I can't believe we went to the zoo.
302
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:05,716
- Yeah, man. That was sick.
- Um, guys?
303
00:11:05,841 --> 00:11:07,000
We did not go to the zoo.
304
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,335
Well, then how was I petting an owl?
305
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:11,155
- That wasn't an owl.
- That was me, man.
306
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:12,390
I told you. That was him.
307
00:11:12,515 --> 00:11:13,548
Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys.
308
00:11:13,783 --> 00:11:14,967
Here's this week's bill.
309
00:11:15,184 --> 00:11:16,594
- Bill?
- Uh...
310
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,970
Okay, um, yeah.
Our, uh,
311
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:21,973
last drug dealer was pretty lax
with payments, so...
312
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,516
And I don't mean
to be a dick about it,
313
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,369
but one cool thing he did
314
00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:27,187
was he didn't really bring up
money that we owed him...
315
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,480
- Mm-mm.
- In front of us.
316
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,609
Yeah, that was kinda rude, ma'am.
317
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,735
I think somebody's
on their period.
318
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,120
- Ew, grody.
- Listen.
319
00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:37,072
I don't give a [bleep] what your
old dealer used to do.
320
00:11:37,306 --> 00:11:38,883
You're with me now.
321
00:11:39,008 --> 00:11:41,826
Either I get paid,
or people get hurt.
322
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:44,413
- Uh...
- Okay, um,
323
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:45,747
we'll look at your bill.
324
00:11:45,913 --> 00:11:47,091
$250 an hour
325
00:11:47,216 --> 00:11:48,726
to hang out with Lori Beth Denberg?
326
00:11:48,851 --> 00:11:51,127
Okay, now,
that's actually a sweet deal.
327
00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:54,498
The thing about this
is we don't actually own
328
00:11:54,623 --> 00:11:56,133
a lot of this money.
329
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,301
Sweetheart, if we're gonna
build a relationship,
330
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,136
it has to be built on trust.
331
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,805
I mean, that's... agh! Ow!
332
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,390
Ooh. Don't make me use
my meat strength...
333
00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,727
Oh, my God!
334
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,561
- Agh!
- What are you doing?
335
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:09,938
I'll be back here at 6:00 tomorrow.
336
00:12:10,172 --> 00:12:11,398
If you don't have my money by then,
337
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,284
you won't just be dealing with me.
338
00:12:13,409 --> 00:12:15,818
You'll be dealing with Cortez.
339
00:12:15,984 --> 00:12:17,279
Uh, who's Cortez?
340
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,947
My boss.
341
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,199
Everything in this town
is run by Cortez.
342
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,328
He's a lot less understanding
than I am.
343
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,955
Well, that's weird, because
you're not very understanding.
344
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,362
What's the girl with the
dragon tattoo gonna do to us?
345
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,063
I'll tell you what
she's gonna do to us.
346
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:37,732
She's gonna cut off my dick
and feed it to me.
347
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,551
I have a very cut-offable dick.
348
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,052
And I'm hungry.
349
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,603
As soon as she dices
your little dick u...
350
00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:44,681
- Your decent-sized dick up...
- Thank you.
351
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,559
The girl with the dragon
tattoo is going to kill us.
352
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:48,810
Hey guys.
353
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,111
- Jeez... us.
- Wow.
354
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:51,480
Announce yourself next time.
355
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,281
Sorry.
Uh, some friend of yours
356
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:54,715
brought you a steak lunch.
357
00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:56,284
I thought it was snake lunch
at first,
358
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:57,945
but then she clarified
it's a steak lunch.
359
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,821
And I'm not jealous, P.S.
360
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:02,740
Thank you.
361
00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:04,058
Looks like, uh,
362
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:07,578
dragon tats is coming around.
363
00:13:07,744 --> 00:13:09,030
Thank you.
364
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,582
She probably forgot we owe her money.
365
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,099
- Yeah.
- Stoners, right?
366
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:14,268
Here's a note.
367
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:15,503
Oh, come on.
368
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,771
"Enjoy this meal on me.
369
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:19,465
Sincerely, you know who." Guys.
370
00:13:19,631 --> 00:13:20,942
You know who it probably is?
371
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,218
It's probably
the dragon-tattooed girl.
372
00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:23,511
- Ah, boy.
- Yeah.
373
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,179
I feel like a silly goof, huh?
374
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:28,516
We were all worried about nooooo...-
375
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:31,719
no, no!
376
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:35,607
Judge Lance Ito!
377
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,959
Well, we are dealing
with a complete psychopath.
378
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,927
I guess we should just skip town
or something.
379
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:41,229
What? Dude, we're not gonna miss
380
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,597
the pizza eating contest.
381
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,465
Oh, yeah, we shouldn't miss it,
382
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:45,924
'cause that's the first place
she'll look, dude.
383
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,302
Or we kill her first, man!
384
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:50,037
Make it look like a lustful lover.
385
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:51,939
One of us is gonna
have to sleep with her.
386
00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:53,908
I guess I'll have to bite the bullet.
387
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:56,169
And by bullet, I mean her vagina.
388
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:57,578
Guys, you're overthinking
this, all right?
389
00:13:57,703 --> 00:13:59,614
We just need to outsmart her.
390
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,675
- We need to fool her somehow.
- Uh-huh.
391
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,219
What's the most tricked
you've ever been?
392
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,821
Shutter Ssland,
Leonardo DiCaprio.
393
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,422
- Yes, exactly. And it...
- Yeah.
394
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:11,392
But that movie had at least
five twists in it.
395
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,761
So if we're gonna pull this off,
396
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:17,732
we need at least four.
397
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,609
Twists, guys.
398
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,135
- Okay, yeah.
- Yeah.
399
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:22,637
I was wondering,
'cause I didn't know...
400
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,530
- Four... I was like...
- I can't do everything.
401
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,451
Oh, hey, what's up?
402
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:28,910
You got something for me?
403
00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,945
Yeah. Yes.
404
00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,498
I-I-I... yep, yep.
Hold up.
405
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:36,250
There it is, and it's all in there,
406
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,670
so, uh, go ahead and count it.
407
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,888
Better be.
408
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:42,323
But don't really count it.
409
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:46,344
It's me!
Cortez's boss!
410
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,346
- Oh!
- From the cartel.
411
00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:50,298
So you better give me
the money, Mami,
412
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:53,351
'cause you work for me now.
413
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,105
Oh, [bleep].
414
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:58,806
I think that guy is in the cartel,
415
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:01,359
so you might want to hand over
all the real money to him.
416
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:04,905
All right, freeze, bad guys.
417
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,240
Special Agent Clements, D.E.A.
418
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:10,201
Under deep cover, following
these perps since I met 'em.
419
00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,579
You're good to go.
I'm after the big fish.
420
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,039
Adam and Blake.
421
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:17,916
Or should I call you Miguel and Adam?
422
00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,169
Ugh.
423
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,162
How'd you know it was me?
424
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:22,714
You got sloppy, kid.
425
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,299
Left behind too many clues.
426
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:27,635
It was no problem
for my boys in... ballistics
427
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,804
and my other boys in...
428
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,681
Forensics to find you after that.
429
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:33,266
- Makes sense. Sounds real.
- Yep.
430
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,726
Wait.
431
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,812
Are you really a cop?
432
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,229
Yes. You can go.
You're safe to go.
433
00:15:38,395 --> 00:15:39,564
'Cause that would make, like,
a ton of sense
434
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:40,715
if Ders was a cop.
435
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:41,775
Ders is a cop!
436
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:43,384
You would make a good cop, dude.
437
00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:44,695
I am a cop.
438
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:46,029
"Who stole my cereal?"
439
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,355
And now it's time to take you back
440
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,949
to shutter island.
441
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,617
None of this is real.
442
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,059
No one owes you any money.
443
00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,536
You're a mental patient.
You know, you're...
444
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:54,795
Get the [bleep] off of me.
445
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,897
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Hell no! No, no!
446
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,207
- Just...
- Uh...
447
00:15:58,373 --> 00:15:59,334
Are you kidding me?
448
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,419
You guys smoke way too much weed.
449
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,796
- Thank you.
- Get in the [bleep] van.
450
00:16:03,962 --> 00:16:06,466
What's that noise?
Is it snakes?
451
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:08,301
I think she's peeing on the floor.
452
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,427
Please, can we just talk?
453
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:11,221
The time for talking is done.
454
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,413
When was the time for talking?
455
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,307
It seemed like there was no time
456
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:15,883
between you telling us
that we owed you money
457
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,186
and then you beating us up,
throwing us in a van.
458
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,820
Yeah, you know,
just for future reference,
459
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:21,355
just make sure people know
now is the time for talking
460
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,324
and now is the butt-kicking time,
461
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,569
'cause I'm sure we're not
the first people to think...
462
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:26,994
I have a blowtorch in my hand.
463
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:28,229
I don't have to explain [bleep]
to you guys.
464
00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:29,698
- Okay.
- Thank you.
465
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:33,100
Ay ay ay
466
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:38,831
Oh, just in time.
Have fun.
467
00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:41,668
468
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:45,589
- Aah!
- Oh, we're so sorry!
469
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,549
Aah, please don't kill us!
470
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,949
Just let us live one more hour
471
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:50,618
so we can win Hella free pizza.
472
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,970
You like Hella free pizza, right?
473
00:16:53,136 --> 00:16:54,555
Kadoi, Braj.
474
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:55,856
Blake?
475
00:16:55,981 --> 00:16:57,183
Karl!
476
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,392
I recognize that stink.
477
00:16:58,517 --> 00:16:59,627
- Karl.
- Blake?
478
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:03,189
- Do mine!
- What the...
479
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:05,484
- You're Cortez?
- Whoa.
480
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,818
Not exactly.
481
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,153
Me and my dealer buddies made up
482
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,739
this psychopathic, crazy Mexican dude
483
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:14,200
so that we could scare people
into paying us.
484
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:17,078
All right? We all take turns
pretending to be him,
485
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,879
and this is my version.
486
00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:21,582
I rocked a sweet serape,
a dope sombrero.
487
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,117
Then I take that hatchet over there,
488
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:24,627
and I take off my shirt,
489
00:17:24,793 --> 00:17:26,220
and I scratch it on my chest,
and I say,
490
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:27,589
"pay me, bitch!"
491
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,507
- Ooh, sounds effective.
- Very smart.
492
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,192
It's rad, dude.
It's so much fun.
493
00:17:31,317 --> 00:17:34,095
Braj, we're sorry
that we switched drug dealers.
494
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:37,390
Can we just go back
to how it used to be?
495
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:38,699
How do you expect me to do that?
496
00:17:38,824 --> 00:17:40,935
You guys hurt me.
497
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,105
You know, yes,
I dealt to other people,
498
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,872
but when I put the weed
in those little kids' hands,
499
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:48,985
all I saw was your faces.
500
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,579
I'm out this game, dude.
501
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,573
I'm going to college.
502
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,159
Yuck. College?
503
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:03,257
Are we just gonna let him go?
504
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:04,625
And miss the pizza eating contest?
505
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,561
I don't think so.
506
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:10,674
Whoa, I just realized
we're at the steakhouse.
507
00:18:19,386 --> 00:18:20,600
Here we go.
508
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:21,797
Come on, come on
509
00:18:21,922 --> 00:18:23,812
come on, come on, come on
510
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:29,025
Everybody come on
511
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,207
Is it too hot for you?
512
00:18:32,332 --> 00:18:33,571
A little too hot for you?
513
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,444
Go on, now, get.
514
00:18:35,569 --> 00:18:37,379
Go on, now, get.
515
00:18:37,504 --> 00:18:38,702
Don't look back.
516
00:18:44,745 --> 00:18:49,925
517
00:18:50,050 --> 00:18:51,627
She's not coming.
518
00:18:51,752 --> 00:18:53,049
Huh?
519
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,430
I said she's not coming, buddy.
520
00:18:55,555 --> 00:18:56,803
You getting on or what?
521
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,501
Oh. Yeah.
522
00:18:59,626 --> 00:19:02,600
It's not a she, though.
It's three dudes.
523
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:05,895
Come on, come on,
come on, come on
524
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,443
come on, come on
525
00:19:08,568 --> 00:19:09,899
everybody come on
526
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,401
- aah.
- Aah.
527
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,448
Yeah! Free pizza for a year!
528
00:19:13,573 --> 00:19:15,617
Whoa!
529
00:19:15,742 --> 00:19:19,034
You guys can really scarf.
Congrats.
530
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,411
Hey, you guys wanna go
shmmeeck a booowww?
531
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,191
Zeke, we gotta give you a rain check
532
00:19:23,316 --> 00:19:24,426
on that boooww shmeeeckin'.
533
00:19:24,551 --> 00:19:25,665
Yeah.
534
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,095
We gotta stop our drug dealer
535
00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:29,461
from making the worst mistake
of his life.
536
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:30,837
- He's going to college.
- Let's go.
537
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:31,879
Come on.
538
00:19:34,928 --> 00:19:37,177
539
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:38,678
Yo, wait!
Here we are.
540
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,176
- Karl!
- Hey, Karl!
541
00:19:41,301 --> 00:19:42,515
- Braj.
- Karl, hey.
542
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:43,979
Stop this bus!
543
00:19:44,104 --> 00:19:45,414
If you have a heart
in your chest cavity,
544
00:19:45,539 --> 00:19:47,145
you will stop this bus, bro!
545
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,146
Stop the bus.
546
00:19:54,081 --> 00:19:55,824
Thanks for nothing, partner.
547
00:19:55,949 --> 00:19:57,030
Ow.
548
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,868
Ooh.
549
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:04,246
Oh great,
you won the pizza eating competition.
550
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:05,663
I know you'd be great.
551
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:07,540
Come on Braj, you won.
552
00:20:08,483 --> 00:20:09,709
You don't have to go to college now.
553
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,127
Get Hella free pizza.
554
00:20:12,762 --> 00:20:14,338
You guys didn't have to do this.
555
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:15,335
Yeah, I told 'em that.
556
00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:16,285
Karl...
557
00:20:17,324 --> 00:20:19,051
Would you be our drug dealer again?
558
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:22,596
I'd like that.
559
00:20:22,762 --> 00:20:23,765
Yes!
560
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,016
I always did love
selling you guys grass.
561
00:20:26,182 --> 00:20:28,496
No, it's not grass anymore.
We call it drug now.
562
00:20:29,550 --> 00:20:31,196
****, bro.
563
00:20:31,321 --> 00:20:33,483
- All right.
- Good.
564
00:20:33,838 --> 00:20:35,156
He's good.
565
00:20:35,281 --> 00:20:37,652
- Light it up.
- Could handle that quick, dude.
566
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:39,704
All four at once.
567
00:20:39,829 --> 00:20:40,553
Oh, man.
568
00:20:40,678 --> 00:20:42,158
- Human genius.
- Light them up.
569
00:20:47,035 --> 00:20:49,582
It's almost it's making me
sneezing so bad.
570
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:51,542
That's a lot of stinks.
571
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,212
This is some of the best weed
I've ever smoked, man.
572
00:20:56,380 --> 00:21:00,134
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
573
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,303
- What are you?
- He's my cousin!
574
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,398
Of course he is.
575
00:21:05,186 --> 00:21:06,580
I lost some weight.
Way to go.
576
00:21:06,705 --> 00:21:07,784
Oh, there it is!
577
00:21:07,909 --> 00:21:09,558
I'll go get it and strike on you!
578
00:21:09,608 --> 00:21:14,158
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