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1
00:01:36,003 --> 00:01:37,462
I saw last week’s dailies...
2
00:01:37,796 --> 00:01:39,089
you better cover those bags
3
00:01:39,173 --> 00:01:41,132
because you are on thin ice,
mister, okay?
4
00:01:41,216 --> 00:01:42,091
All right.
5
00:01:42,176 --> 00:01:43,219
Guys, I am so happy
6
00:01:43,302 --> 00:01:45,721
you came up here for moral
support today, thank you.
7
00:01:45,804 --> 00:01:46,680
Of course, Reggie,
8
00:01:46,763 --> 00:01:48,765
there’s nowhere else Todd
and I would rather be today.
9
00:01:48,849 --> 00:01:49,725
Right, honey?
10
00:01:49,808 --> 00:01:50,684
What?
11
00:01:50,768 --> 00:01:52,144
Oh, no, I’m not hungry.
12
00:01:52,227 --> 00:01:53,478
Look, I can’t stay long.
13
00:01:53,561 --> 00:01:55,563
The agency’s in total disarray
because Nick’s been arrested
14
00:01:55,647 --> 00:01:57,274
and everyone’s freaking out
because we still don’t know
15
00:01:57,358 --> 00:01:59,317
who the Falcon is and when
the assassin’s going to strike.
16
00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:00,694
Whatever, Todd,
17
00:02:00,778 --> 00:02:02,571
if you think your piddling
little assassination plot
18
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:04,448
is more important than my show
winning a Peabody,
19
00:02:04,531 --> 00:02:05,783
who am I to argue?
20
00:02:05,865 --> 00:02:06,867
Out of my way!
21
00:02:08,451 --> 00:02:09,787
It is more important though,
right?
22
00:02:09,870 --> 00:02:10,746
Yes.
23
00:02:16,752 --> 00:02:21,465
♪Where the bears are,
We wanna be♪
24
00:02:23,050 --> 00:02:28,430
SEASON 6 EPISODE 14
BEARS ON THE MOUNTAIN TOP
PART ONE
25
00:02:31,140 --> 00:02:34,435
Oh, Wood, this
is so cinematically beautiful.
26
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,021
I know, right?
27
00:02:36,104 --> 00:02:37,438
Uh, hope Reggie doesn’t mind us
28
00:02:37,522 --> 00:02:39,775
shooting a porn right next
to where he’s broadcasting.
29
00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:41,819
Oh! That queen is so
self-absorbed,
30
00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:43,528
he probably
won’t even notice.
31
00:02:43,611 --> 00:02:45,739
Oh! Okay, right down
around the corner here,
32
00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:47,616
that is the exact spot
33
00:02:47,699 --> 00:02:50,159
that I had sex
with the detectives in a sling,
34
00:02:50,243 --> 00:02:51,912
right before Jeremy
went over the mountain.
35
00:02:52,246 --> 00:02:55,707
We can re-create
the scene blowjob by blowjob
36
00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:57,751
with you, Chuck...
(gasps)
37
00:02:57,835 --> 00:02:58,711
...and Conner.
38
00:02:58,794 --> 00:03:00,462
Definitely Conner!
39
00:03:00,545 --> 00:03:02,798
Oh, Wood, I really think
this is the way to go…
40
00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:06,634
an autobiographical film
of all the sexual
41
00:03:06,718 --> 00:03:09,096
pivotal moments in your life.
42
00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:11,891
I even have the perfect title,
stay with me…
43
00:03:12,390 --> 00:03:14,100
Wood Fellas.
44
00:03:15,269 --> 00:03:16,228
I love it!
45
00:03:16,312 --> 00:03:18,022
It’s like Goodfellas
but with “Wood.”
46
00:03:18,104 --> 00:03:20,608
Oh, look how smart my baby is.
47
00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:23,944
But I want
a less straightforward approach,
48
00:03:24,027 --> 00:03:27,822
something more abstract
and conceptual.
49
00:03:27,907 --> 00:03:31,660
No, George, I swear, the
detectives were totally into it.
50
00:03:31,743 --> 00:03:36,623
Oh, not “consensual,”
dear, “conceptual.”
51
00:03:36,706 --> 00:03:40,376
And instead of re-creating
the scene here as it happened,
52
00:03:40,461 --> 00:03:43,631
I want to film
a more claustrophobic,
53
00:03:43,713 --> 00:03:48,760
fevered dream, in an enclosed,
small, tight space,
54
00:03:48,843 --> 00:03:55,350
almost as if we were actually
deep inside your brain.
55
00:03:56,227 --> 00:04:00,271
Sometimes I feel like I am
in the presence of pure genius!
56
00:04:00,355 --> 00:04:02,106
Oh, isn’t that the truth?
57
00:04:02,191 --> 00:04:03,776
- Let’s go see it, come on.
- Yes.
58
00:04:03,859 --> 00:04:05,569
Oh, Jeremy went that way.
59
00:04:05,652 --> 00:04:06,486
Oh?
60
00:04:10,157 --> 00:04:13,201
You came all the way
up here just to wish me luck.
61
00:04:16,329 --> 00:04:17,205
For Prince only.
62
00:04:17,915 --> 00:04:19,959
Hey, how are you going to get
back to the studio in time?
63
00:04:20,041 --> 00:04:22,669
Your live broadcast starts
immediately following mine.
64
00:04:22,752 --> 00:04:24,045
I came by helicopter.
65
00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:27,174
You rented a helicopter
just to come see me.
66
00:04:27,257 --> 00:04:28,758
No, I bought one.
67
00:04:29,718 --> 00:04:31,804
Now that is the sweetest thing
I’ve ever heard.
68
00:04:31,887 --> 00:04:34,305
Most guys I know wouldn’t even
splurge on an Uber.
69
00:04:34,389 --> 00:04:36,850
Reggie, I want to be completely
honest with you.
70
00:04:36,934 --> 00:04:38,227
There is something
I must tell you.
71
00:04:38,310 --> 00:04:39,769
You want to go back
to being a top?
72
00:04:40,521 --> 00:04:42,189
- No.
- Oh, thank God.
73
00:04:42,273 --> 00:04:44,441
It’s this address that
I’m giving to viewers today.
74
00:04:44,524 --> 00:04:47,193
It’s not to unveil the network’s
upcoming programming slate.
75
00:04:47,278 --> 00:04:48,112
It’s not?
76
00:04:48,194 --> 00:04:51,115
No, I’m going
to come out of the closet.
77
00:04:51,197 --> 00:04:53,324
It’s something I’ve
been planning for some time.
78
00:04:53,408 --> 00:04:55,411
I want to do it
for the thousands of gay men
79
00:04:55,494 --> 00:04:56,912
in my country
who are forced to hide
80
00:04:56,995 --> 00:04:58,913
and can’t live
as their true selves.
81
00:04:58,997 --> 00:05:01,959
Maybe if they see me as one
of them, they will have hope.
82
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:05,503
Now that is the sweetest thing
I’ve ever heard.
83
00:05:06,547 --> 00:05:08,757
It’s why I bought
the Inquisitive Channel.
84
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:10,300
My family would never
have allowed me
85
00:05:10,384 --> 00:05:12,595
to do this back home
on state-run television.
86
00:05:12,677 --> 00:05:13,803
They would have stopped me.
87
00:05:13,887 --> 00:05:16,723
But here in America,
I am free to do as I wish…
88
00:05:17,223 --> 00:05:19,642
and nobody
puts Baby in a corner.
89
00:05:20,435 --> 00:05:22,145
I’m a huge Dirty Dancing fan.
90
00:05:22,228 --> 00:05:25,733
I can see those closet doors
bursting open already.
91
00:05:25,815 --> 00:05:27,317
Omar, I’m so proud of you.
92
00:05:28,276 --> 00:05:31,154
Reggie, I-I know we’ve only
known each other a short while,
93
00:05:31,237 --> 00:05:33,031
but I feel you and I share
a special bond
94
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:35,242
and I would very much like
to continue seeing you.
95
00:05:35,326 --> 00:05:36,410
Oh.
96
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:39,913
Let me think about it.
Yes!
97
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,752
Oh, you’ve made me very happy.
98
00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:47,170
Now I must go.
99
00:05:47,254 --> 00:05:49,381
I don’t want to be late
for my own coming-out party.
100
00:05:50,966 --> 00:05:52,009
Thank you.
101
00:05:56,764 --> 00:05:58,516
What’s the matter with you,
jealous?
102
00:05:58,598 --> 00:06:00,475
What? No!
103
00:06:01,017 --> 00:06:02,519
Of course not.
104
00:06:02,603 --> 00:06:04,146
I’m not romantically interested
in you.
105
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,730
Even the idea of you and me…
106
00:06:07,649 --> 00:06:08,608
No!
107
00:06:08,692 --> 00:06:11,612
I wasn’t talking about me,
I thought you liked the prince.
108
00:06:14,197 --> 00:06:15,698
But I’m flattered
your mind went there.
109
00:06:25,668 --> 00:06:26,668
I don’t know, George,
110
00:06:26,752 --> 00:06:29,713
I don’t think Reggie would want
us shooting in his trailer.
111
00:06:29,797 --> 00:06:33,884
I told you, Wood, the sex has
to start in an enclosed space.
112
00:06:33,968 --> 00:06:38,681
I mean, what better way to pay
tribute to white trash Americana
113
00:06:38,764 --> 00:06:41,641
than to have you flip fuck
in a recreational vehicle?
114
00:06:41,725 --> 00:06:44,854
It’s both trashy
and claustrophobic.
115
00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:47,021
Whatever you want,
you’re the artist.
116
00:06:48,232 --> 00:06:51,902
Oh, drat!
I just got a text from Chuck.
117
00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:54,572
His car broke down outside
of Pomona, of all places,
118
00:06:54,654 --> 00:06:56,614
and he and Conner aren’t coming.
119
00:06:56,699 --> 00:07:01,412
Oh. Oh! Oh, why must I be so
cruelly persecuted this way?
120
00:07:01,495 --> 00:07:03,997
We have the perfect location.
121
00:07:04,081 --> 00:07:06,417
You have got to make this work,
Wood.
122
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:07,459
How?
123
00:07:07,543 --> 00:07:09,295
We’re in the middle of nowhere.
124
00:07:09,377 --> 00:07:11,087
I mean, what are the odds
we’re going to find
125
00:07:11,172 --> 00:07:13,174
some young, hot
gay stud
126
00:07:13,257 --> 00:07:16,427
who wants to get his ass
pounded on film in an RV?
127
00:07:16,509 --> 00:07:18,178
Excuse me, but...
128
00:07:18,553 --> 00:07:21,055
you wouldn’t happen
to be Wood Burns, would you?
129
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:27,687
- That’s me.
- Oh, my God!
130
00:07:27,771 --> 00:07:29,273
I’m so thrilled to meet you.
131
00:07:29,355 --> 00:07:31,817
My name’s Dash,
Dash Plowright.
132
00:07:31,901 --> 00:07:34,194
“Plowright,” did you hear that?
“Plow-right?”
133
00:07:34,278 --> 00:07:35,571
I heard, George, I heard!
134
00:07:35,653 --> 00:07:38,324
I am such a huge fan
of your work.
135
00:07:38,406 --> 00:07:41,951
I have seen all of your movies,
I use all your sex toys,
136
00:07:42,036 --> 00:07:44,495
I even wear your clothing line,
see?
137
00:07:46,331 --> 00:07:48,209
“Sporting Wood,” I love it!
138
00:07:48,291 --> 00:07:50,793
Especially the fabric, it gives
my junk room to breathe.
139
00:07:50,877 --> 00:07:51,711
Right?
140
00:07:51,795 --> 00:07:53,379
Oh, that's because
of the cotton-poly blend
141
00:07:53,463 --> 00:07:55,466
that I absolutely insisted upon…
142
00:07:55,548 --> 00:07:56,674
Not now, George!
143
00:07:57,425 --> 00:08:00,262
All right,
this may sound crazy,
144
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,973
but would you be interested
in being
145
00:08:03,057 --> 00:08:06,227
in a gay porn film right now
with me?
146
00:08:08,019 --> 00:08:10,980
You want me to have sex
with you…
147
00:08:11,774 --> 00:08:13,233
right now in a movie?
148
00:08:13,942 --> 00:08:14,943
Uh-huh!
149
00:08:15,026 --> 00:08:16,194
Hell yeah!
150
00:08:17,112 --> 00:08:19,198
It’s gonna happen!
It’s gonna happen!
151
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:20,240
No-no-no, not here.
152
00:08:20,324 --> 00:08:21,199
We’re going to do it in the RV.
153
00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:22,408
Oh, okay sure.
154
00:08:25,495 --> 00:08:26,454
I love my life.
155
00:08:27,997 --> 00:08:30,500
And then he’s going to tell
the whole world he’s gay
156
00:08:30,584 --> 00:08:33,128
and finally fly free
from his gilded cage.
157
00:08:33,211 --> 00:08:34,838
It’s so brave and meaningful.
158
00:08:34,922 --> 00:08:36,090
It’s going
to have such an impact.
159
00:08:36,173 --> 00:08:37,758
That is really wonderful,
Reggie.
160
00:08:37,841 --> 00:08:39,384
Hey, this is for everybody,
right?
161
00:08:39,467 --> 00:08:40,385
- Yeah.
- Okay.
162
00:08:41,052 --> 00:08:44,181
Now, are you sure
you really want to date him?
163
00:08:44,264 --> 00:08:46,891
He’s a royal prince, Nelson.
Why wouldn’t I want to date him?
164
00:08:46,975 --> 00:08:47,893
I don’t know.
165
00:08:47,976 --> 00:08:49,937
You two just don’t seem to have
that much of a connection.
166
00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:53,899
Let me reiterate, he’s a royal
prince with his own helicopter.
167
00:08:53,982 --> 00:08:55,984
He can buy us a connection!
168
00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:57,778
So stay the hell
out of my love life, Nelson!
169
00:08:57,861 --> 00:08:59,320
And save some for the crew.
170
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,033
I didn’t mean to upset him.
171
00:09:03,116 --> 00:09:04,659
I just don’t think
he should be dating the prince
172
00:09:04,743 --> 00:09:06,161
for the wrong reasons.
173
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,038
“Cage?"
"Fly free?”
174
00:09:09,123 --> 00:09:10,456
What’s the matter?
175
00:09:11,457 --> 00:09:13,961
Oh, my God.
It’s the prince!
176
00:09:14,043 --> 00:09:16,087
The prince is the Falcon!
177
00:09:16,172 --> 00:09:17,380
There must be a faction
of his government
178
00:09:17,464 --> 00:09:18,924
that wants to stop him
from coming out.
179
00:09:19,008 --> 00:09:21,259
They’re going to shoot him
on live television!
180
00:09:21,342 --> 00:09:22,594
Nelson, we have to warn him!
181
00:09:23,888 --> 00:09:25,598
- Reggie’s got his number!
- Okay.
182
00:09:25,681 --> 00:09:27,057
Let’s go!
183
00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:29,726
We are here
atop Big Bear Mountain,
184
00:09:29,809 --> 00:09:33,563
where four years ago
a traumatic event unfolded.
185
00:09:33,647 --> 00:09:34,815
Reggie, we need to talk to you.
186
00:09:34,899 --> 00:09:38,235
Even more traumatic than being
interrupted on live television.
187
00:09:38,318 --> 00:09:39,444
Uh, it’s an emergency.
188
00:09:40,778 --> 00:09:41,989
Hey, isn’t that…
189
00:09:42,072 --> 00:09:44,240
Oh, no fucking way.
190
00:09:44,325 --> 00:09:45,993
Reggie!
Reggie, behind you!
191
00:09:46,076 --> 00:09:47,369
Only now am I ready
192
00:09:47,452 --> 00:09:49,871
to talk about what
really happened that day.
193
00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,999
Reggie, it’s Jeremy Richards.
194
00:09:52,081 --> 00:09:53,500
Let me get through the intro,
Nelson,
195
00:09:53,583 --> 00:09:54,626
and then we’ll get to that,
all right?
196
00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:55,668
Boo!
197
00:09:56,669 --> 00:09:58,755
It’s just the actor
playing Jeremy.
198
00:09:59,465 --> 00:10:01,425
Jesus, where did they find you?
199
00:10:01,509 --> 00:10:02,801
You’re a dead ringer.
200
00:10:02,884 --> 00:10:04,302
And you’re just dead.
201
00:10:05,428 --> 00:10:08,182
Thank you for tuning in,
all you home viewers.
202
00:10:08,264 --> 00:10:10,934
Welcome to The Jeremy Show.
203
00:10:11,769 --> 00:10:14,855
♪Where the bears are,
We wanna be♪
204
00:10:14,938 --> 00:10:17,524
♪Where the bears are,
Where the bears are♪
14467
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