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1
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:06,505
? What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ?
2
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:11,276
? Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ?
3
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:17,515
? Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ?
4
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:21,018
? I will try not to sing
out of key, yeah ?
5
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:25,190
? Oh, baby, I get by ?
? By with a little help from my friends ?
6
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,691
? All I need is my buddies ?
7
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,728
? High with a little help
from my friends ?
8
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:35,099
? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? -?
Try with a little help from my friends ?
9
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:36,567
? Whoa-oa-oa-oa ?
10
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,235
? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?
11
00:00:38,237 --> 00:00:42,641
? Somebody who knows
quite sure ?
12
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:43,908
? Baby ?
13
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,644
? By with a little help
from my friends ?
14
00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,679
? Said I'm gonna make it
with my friends ?
15
00:00:48,681 --> 00:00:51,750
? Try with a little help
from my friends ?
16
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,885
? Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ?
17
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,454
? High with a little help
from my friends ?
18
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,957
? I'm gonna keep on trying now,
baby ?
19
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:04,295
? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?
20
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:06,397
[ "The first Noel" plays ]
21
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:09,367
When you're a kid, it's simple.
22
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:12,203
Christmas is magic.
23
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,473
It's a time of miracles,
24
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:20,011
when reindeer can flyand frosty never melts.
25
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,016
Then you get older.
26
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:28,286
Somehow, things change.
27
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:31,789
The magic begins to fade...
28
00:01:31,791 --> 00:01:34,392
Until something happensthat reminds you,
29
00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:35,893
at Christmastime...
30
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,061
[ Whistle blows ]
31
00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:38,696
Miracles still can be found...
32
00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:40,232
Happy holidays, men.
33
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:43,568
Sometimes in the mostunexpected places.
34
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:49,040
In my grasp is a message
from Richard Milhous Nixon.
35
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:54,111
Gentlemen, our chief executive
has entrusted me,
36
00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:56,281
as a physical educator,
37
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:59,150
to make sure you men
are performing
38
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:04,188
at or above
the national average.
39
00:02:04,190 --> 00:02:05,423
[ Smack ]
40
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:08,492
The president's all-American
physical fitness challenge.
41
00:02:08,494 --> 00:02:09,827
[ Young men murmuring ]
42
00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,362
I guess I don't have to tell you
43
00:02:11,364 --> 00:02:14,832
this is an awesome
responsibility, do I?
44
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:15,900
Arnold?
45
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,338
Uh... Yes, sir.
46
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,206
You don't...
47
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,109
H-have to tell us.
48
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,311
I didn't think so.
49
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,847
By December of 1970,
50
00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:33,084
it was pretty clear Christmasmeant nothing to coach Cutlip.
51
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:37,522
While most human beings werebrimming with yuletide cheer,
52
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:38,923
he was brimming with...
53
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,292
Chin-ups. Sit-ups.
The shuttle run.
54
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,528
[ Chalk tapping ]
Various calisthenics.
55
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:44,696
And, of course...
56
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,966
[ Tapping continues ]
The rope climb.
57
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,234
Face it...
58
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,803
the guy was scroogein a baseball cap.
59
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,304
Ahchoo!
60
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:55,706
Scusi.
61
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:57,642
Okay, now.
62
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,077
Who wants to start?
63
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,945
[ Whistle blows ]
64
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,181
[ "Sleigh ride" plays ]
65
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,853
Not that it was anythingnew to us.
66
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,222
The pain, the exhaustion,the humiliation.
67
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:14,425
It was something we'd cometo expect from the guy.
68
00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:18,530
Come on, Doug, push.
69
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,131
Still, that year,
70
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,732
a new thought was forming
71
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,368
in our collectiveninth-grade mind.
72
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,802
Cutlip's a raving lunatic!
73
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:26,971
He has absolutely
no Christmas spirit.
74
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,908
He makes us dust the floor in
front of the girls' gym class.
75
00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:32,777
And Doug with his underwear
hangin' out.
76
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,579
My underwear was showing?
77
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,781
Somebody ought to do
something to that guy.
78
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,549
Hey, don't get me involved
with this.
79
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,551
I got to play basketball
for the guy.
80
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,354
It seemed Paul was aboutthe only one of my colleagues
81
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,955
who had a real senseof reality.
82
00:03:44,957 --> 00:03:48,426
What I wouldn't give just once
to have something over Cutlip.
83
00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:49,960
Yeah, take him down a peg.
84
00:03:49,962 --> 00:03:51,796
Maybe we should talk to him.
85
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,498
Get real.
86
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:54,799
What?
87
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:56,934
You can't talk to the guy.
88
00:03:56,936 --> 00:03:59,504
Cutlip's from another planet.
89
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:00,137
Men.
90
00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:03,274
I know what you're thinking.
91
00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:07,478
You're thinking you let me down.
92
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:11,015
Well... Don't give it
a second thought.
93
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,384
There's always ma�ana.
94
00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:14,819
Bottom line...
95
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:17,088
the guy was completelyout of touch with humanity.
96
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,223
Okay, that's it.
97
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,592
I say we kill him.
98
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,894
But I wasn't gonna letmy gym teacher
99
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,996
dampen my Christmas spirits.
100
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,397
There.
That wasn't so bad, was it?
101
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,632
It was fine, Mom.
102
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,234
If I wanted my spiritsdampened,
103
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:33,104
I had a Momwho was doing a fine job.
104
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,606
- You know what?
- What?
105
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,474
We should get you
a new tie, too.
106
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:38,075
No, Mom.
107
00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:39,310
No ties.
108
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:40,778
I-I got the shoes.
Enough's enough.
109
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,413
Kevin?!
110
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:44,716
Christmas seemed to triggerMom's biological need
111
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,084
to buy formal-wearfor her family.
112
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:48,819
[ Scoffs ]
113
00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:52,056
Dad needs a tie.
You should get Dad a tie.
114
00:04:52,058 --> 00:04:53,958
Okay?
115
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,727
Well...
116
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,862
Meet me back in five minutes.
117
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,967
Shoes, ties, calisthenics.
118
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,270
It was beginning to seemlike the whole world
119
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:09,440
was adrift in a quagmireof phony holiday spirit.
120
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,843
It made you wonder...
121
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:14,612
what ever happenedto the magic?
122
00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:17,415
Hohoho! Merry Christmas!
123
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,316
Step right up here, young lady!
124
00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:24,122
? Sleigh bells ring ?
125
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,556
? Are you listening? ?
126
00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:28,760
? In the Lane,
snow is glistening ?
127
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:32,263
? A beautiful sight,
we're happy tonight ?
128
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:35,200
? Walking
in a winter wonderland ?
129
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,267
? Gone away... ?
130
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,169
Now, this was more like it.
131
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,171
In its own tacky way,
132
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,608
seeing those kids waitingat that Christmas mall display
133
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,110
made me rememberwhat I'd been missing.
134
00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:49,047
Up here, young man!
Up on Santa.
135
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,714
? ...build a snowman ?
136
00:05:50,716 --> 00:05:53,918
Maybe it was Santa'shearty laugh.
137
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,689
Maybe I was waxing nostalgicfor my simpler youth.
138
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,157
Hohoho-ho!
139
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,458
So, Bobby, tell me,
140
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:04,328
what would you like from Santa
for Christmas, huh?
141
00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:07,531
Whatever it was,for the first time in years,
142
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:10,301
Saint Nick actually seemedfamiliar to me.
143
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,969
What's that?
144
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:13,938
A bike? Slow down, Bobby.
145
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:15,740
Ho-ho-ho-ho.
146
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:20,044
Like a long-lost Unclewho I couldn't quite place.
147
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,779
Ahchoo!
148
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,581
Scusi.
149
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,488
Cutlip?
150
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:33,023
Well, every young man
should have...
151
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,234
? dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh... ?
152
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,503
It was horrible...worse than horrible.
153
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,204
The whiskers, the bells,the hat...
154
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:48,939
? laughing all the way ?
155
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:51,876
? Bells on bobtail ring,
making spirits bright ?
156
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,712
Kind of a Christmas nightmarecome true.
157
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:57,047
? ...ride and sing
a sleighing song tonight ?
158
00:06:57,049 --> 00:06:59,550
? Oh, jingle bells,
jingle bells ?
159
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,653
? Jingle all the way ?
160
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,688
? Oh, what fun it is to ride ?
161
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,558
First time I'd ever seena teacher outside of school,
162
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,727
and he had a pillow strappedto his stomach.
163
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:11,663
[ School bell rings ]
164
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:13,164
The next morning,
165
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,733
I tried to block the terribleimage from my head.
166
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:18,002
I prayed I'd imaginedthe whole thing.
167
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,605
Uh, hi.
168
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,207
Morning, Arnold.
169
00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:24,576
Mr. Cutlip?
170
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:28,078
How are you doing today?
171
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:30,948
Not bad.
172
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,784
I tried to read his expression.
173
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,487
Had he seen me?Had I really seen him?
174
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:39,156
Yourself?
175
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:43,360
Uh, great. Great.
176
00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:46,497
Any adventures since last time
I saw you, Arnold?
177
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,099
No.
178
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:55,873
Well, I did go shopping
at the Brightlin Mall.
179
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:57,675
Brightlin Mall?
180
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:58,943
Uhhuh.
181
00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:01,813
Never been there myself.
182
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,314
Don't get out that far.
183
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,982
Oh.
184
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,018
[ School bell rings ]
185
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,820
Ah.
186
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,421
See you in gym class, Arnold.
187
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,290
Uh, yeah, I'll be there.
188
00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:14,592
Fine.
189
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:16,527
And then it was over.
190
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:17,962
I'd been mistaken.
191
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:21,532
Suddenly I felt fullof holiday cheer again.
192
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,201
Merry Christmas, sir!
193
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,089
There are few things in lifeI'll always regret.
194
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,958
This was one of those things.
195
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,096
[ "Santa Claus is coming
to town" plays as drill song ]
196
00:09:02,374 --> 00:09:04,041
Listen up, men.
197
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,043
Starting today,
198
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,880
some of you are gonna have to
work a little harder.
199
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,616
As I sat on that coldparquet floor,
200
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,285
I felt as if I wereon death row.
201
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,253
We begin...
202
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:18,189
With the shuttle run.
203
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:22,193
I knew too much, and I wasgonna have to pay the price.
204
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,695
Cornell, you're running first.
205
00:09:24,697 --> 00:09:29,466
Then, Porter, you're up next.
206
00:09:29,468 --> 00:09:31,135
And let's see...
207
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:34,038
Arnold.
208
00:09:35,274 --> 00:09:36,774
Yes, sir?
209
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,978
He'd been saving me for last.
210
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:44,148
Who knew what kind of torturehe had in store for me?
211
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:47,317
Grueling sit-ups,excruciating push-ups.
212
00:09:47,319 --> 00:09:48,987
How 'bout you keep time?
213
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,688
[ Young men murmur ]
214
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,326
Sure.
215
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:01,666
Okay, the rest of you guys,
up and at 'em.
216
00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:09,106
And that's when I realized...knowledge was power.
217
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,442
All of a sudden,Christmas had come early.
218
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,944
It was wonderful.
219
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,879
Obstacles that you're
going to have to overcome...
220
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:19,182
Unfortunately, not everyoneshared my holiday spirit.
221
00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:20,551
You're the first one up.
222
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,953
Come on, everybody,
down this end of the gym!
223
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:26,591
[ Whistle blows ] Let's go!
224
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,526
Let's go! Move it!
225
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,861
[ Whistle blows ]
226
00:10:32,998 --> 00:10:34,765
The next couple daysin gym class,
227
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,400
my popularity was...
228
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,535
Hey, guys.
229
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,170
Hey!
230
00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:41,906
Teacher's pet.
231
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:45,743
Not exactlyat an all-time high.
232
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:47,945
We should just call you
"Cutlip-in-training."
233
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,814
Oh, come on, guys,
it's not like that.
234
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,215
Oh, yeah?
235
00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:52,583
I'm one of you.
236
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,585
Pistachio, Arnold?
237
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,420
Red ones. [ Rattling ]
238
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,689
Uh...
239
00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:03,094
Sure.
240
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,796
Keep the whole bag.
241
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,601
One of us, huh?
242
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,074
Seemed pretty clearsomething had to be done.
243
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:18,743
Mr. Cutlip?
244
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:20,644
[ Humming "deck the halls" ]
245
00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:22,746
Mr. Cutlip?
246
00:11:22,748 --> 00:11:25,349
Can I talk to you?
247
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,685
It's important.
248
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,361
In here.
249
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,500
Shoot.
250
00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:45,136
Well...
251
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,905
I think we might have
a little misunderstanding.
252
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:51,042
No misunderstanding.
None at all.
253
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:52,909
Well...
254
00:11:52,911 --> 00:11:57,080
I just want you to know that,
even though I saw you as...
255
00:11:58,751 --> 00:12:00,851
well... You know.
256
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,026
I appreciate
you coming to me, Arnold.
257
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:10,293
You do?
258
00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:12,363
Because I wanted
to give you these.
259
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,897
Passes...
260
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,033
To get out of gym.
261
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:18,335
You're excused from
the president's challenge.
262
00:12:18,337 --> 00:12:20,103
Mr. Cutlip...
263
00:12:20,105 --> 00:12:21,906
call me ed.
264
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,074
Listen... Sir,
265
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,311
I really don't want to
get out of gym.
266
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,181
Playing hardball, huh?
267
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,416
What?
268
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:35,820
I'm on to your game now.
269
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:38,823
I've played a little ball
in my life, too.
270
00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:40,224
Capiche?
271
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:42,025
Uh, Mr. Cutlip, I...
272
00:12:42,027 --> 00:12:44,194
say no more, Arnold.
273
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:47,531
[ School bell rings ]
274
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:49,900
Looks like it's class time
for both of us.
275
00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:56,240
Things were spiralingout of control.
276
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:59,009
There was no telling whata volatile guy like Cutlip
277
00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:01,011
might do next.
278
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,688
Your wrist hurt
from holding the stopwatch?
279
00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:17,795
The walls were pushing inall around me.
280
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,597
Doug, this isn't my fault.
281
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:22,332
Yeah, right.
282
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:23,634
This is ridiculous.
283
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,903
Just 'cause I saw Cutlip
working at the Brightlin Mall...
284
00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:27,137
you what?!
285
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,438
Uh-oh.
286
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,607
Forget it.
287
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,942
You saw Cutlip in the mall?
288
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,744
Yeah, and now my life's ruined.
289
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,812
You happy?
290
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,714
You Kevin Arnold?
291
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:43,321
There it was...my summons to destiny.
292
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,223
It was time to face...
293
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:47,925
My executioner.
294
00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:50,627
[ Knock on door ]
295
00:13:53,699 --> 00:13:55,833
Sit down, Arnold.
296
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,501
I have something for you.
297
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:58,702
Okay.
298
00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:01,605
He was probably reachingfor a weapon, a gun.
299
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,842
Fruitcake.
I picked it up at the mall.
300
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,578
20% employees' discount.
301
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,313
A fruitcake?
302
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:13,884
Just one of the many reasons
I took the job...
303
00:14:13,886 --> 00:14:18,055
As... Santa.
304
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:20,825
You know, Arnold,
305
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:24,795
to a man who's devoted his life
to public education,
306
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:28,699
the opportunity to buy wholesale
is nothing to laugh at.
307
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,035
[ Laughs ]
308
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:36,040
But I don't need to tell you
that, do I?
309
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,708
No.
310
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,277
I don't think so.
311
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:42,980
May I go now?
312
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,882
There's another reason.
313
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,183
There is?
314
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,018
Esther Cutlip.
315
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:49,320
My mother.
316
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,589
The woman is a Saint.
317
00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,124
Uhhuh.
318
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,792
I found myself hopingfor the school bell to ring,
319
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:57,861
the sound of the busespulling up,
320
00:14:57,863 --> 00:14:59,763
anything to get out of there.
321
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:01,698
If it weren't for my support,
322
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,667
there's no telling
the catatonic state
323
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:06,337
the woman might fall into.
324
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,273
That's nice, sir.
325
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:12,709
Tell me something, Arnold.
326
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:16,447
You ever been
inside a Santa outfit?
327
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,648
Oh, my God.
328
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,049
We were crossing a line
329
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,819
teachers and students werenever supposed to cross.
330
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:23,053
It was horrifying.
331
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:25,122
It's hot and it's sweaty...
332
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:26,557
look, Mr. Cutlip?
333
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,793
I don't really want to know
what it's like.
334
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,494
Your discounts, your fruitcake,
your mother...
335
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,029
that's none
of my business, okay?
336
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,365
I'm not gonna tell anyone
about you being Santa,
337
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,766
so let's just forget it.
338
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,935
Okay? It's forgotten.
339
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,071
Please.
340
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,605
Arnold...
341
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:47,944
Kids like me when I'm Santa.
342
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,716
And right then,
343
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:55,419
for the first time,as I looked at the man,
344
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:57,888
I actually saw a human being...
345
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,556
not a great human being,
346
00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:02,560
maybe not evena good human being...
347
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,795
but a very lonely human being.
348
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,534
Your secret's safe
with me, Mr. Cutlip.
349
00:16:19,077 --> 00:16:20,411
[ Door closes ]
350
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,179
I headed home,feeling pretty good
351
00:16:23,181 --> 00:16:26,250
about not havingspilled the beans...
352
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:30,888
Until I remembered the beanshad already been spilled.
353
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:33,991
Doug, you can't tell anybody
what I told you before.
354
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,660
Oh. Okay.
355
00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:39,597
You didn't, did you?
356
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,665
Well...
357
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,934
Only Randy.
358
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:48,672
So, um, what exactly
does Cutlip do at the mall?
359
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,775
Forget it.
360
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,443
Does he sell orange Julius?
361
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,346
You got to tell us
where he works, Kev.
362
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,148
- No way!
- Well, we've got eyes.
363
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,416
We'll, uh, we'll just go
find out for ourself.
364
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:01,952
Holy cow,these guys were serious.
365
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:05,622
The vultures were circling,and it was all my fault.
366
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:09,727
And right there, right then,I knew what I had to do.
367
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,995
[ Vacuum cleaner whirring ]
Mom? Mom!
368
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,133
I need a ride to the mall.
369
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:19,703
Oh, sorry, honey, I was
just about to start dinner.
370
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,071
I needed a plan...
371
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:24,074
something foolproof,something Mom-proof.
372
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,909
I want to get that tie.
373
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,381
[ "Frosty the snowman" plays ]
374
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,049
I hope they still have
the paisley.
375
00:17:33,051 --> 00:17:36,587
Mom, can we split up
for a little while?
376
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:40,457
Only after we get the tie.
377
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:43,326
[ Indistinct talking ]
378
00:17:43,328 --> 00:17:47,931
But I knew Cutlip's lynch mobwould wait for no neck-wear.
379
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,737
Kevin?
380
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,039
There was no time to lose.
381
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:58,341
I had to beat those guysto center court,
382
00:17:58,343 --> 00:17:59,910
no matter what the obstacles.
383
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,212
Oof!
384
00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:04,014
[ Train bell dings ]
385
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:06,316
[ Train whistle blows ]
386
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:14,325
Hey, hey, hey!
Got to wait your turn.
387
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,627
Yeah, but this is important.
I know him!
388
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:17,695
That's what they all say.
389
00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:18,996
You're a fine boy.
390
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,999
Santa's going to give you
whatever you want.
391
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,500
Ho-ho-ho!
392
00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:25,268
Mommy! Anything I want!
393
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,170
Arnold.
394
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,673
? Gone away is the bluebird ?
395
00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:30,608
What are you doing here?
396
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:33,243
Well... I-I...
397
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:34,477
you're not gonna sit
on my lap, are you?
398
00:18:34,479 --> 00:18:36,213
- No.
- Good.
399
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:37,247
You'd be too old.
You realize that?
400
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:37,948
Yeah.
401
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,449
Mr. Cutlip, I... - shh!
402
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,319
Call me Santa!
403
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:45,189
I came to say I'm sorry.
404
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:47,024
- Sorry?
- Yeah.
405
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:50,394
There's a bunch of guys from
class coming to look for you.
406
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,229
[ Train whistle blows ]
407
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,932
I kind of let it slip
about you working at the mall.
408
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,733
You didn't.
409
00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,401
So you probably should hide out
in your shack
410
00:18:58,403 --> 00:18:59,703
till this whole thing
blows over.
411
00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:04,808
? ...conspire
as we dream by the fire ?
412
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,176
[ Indistinct talking ]
413
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:10,080
Here they came,the hounds to the kill.
414
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,419
There was only one option...head for the chimney.
415
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:17,888
No can do, Arnold.
416
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,323
What?
417
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,893
Let them come if they must.
418
00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:28,732
I am who I am.
419
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:31,368
? Hallelujah! ?
420
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:32,869
? Hallelujah! ?
421
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:35,873
? Hallelujah! ?
422
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:38,808
I'll always rememberthat look on his face.
423
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:42,145
He was at onceheroic and stupid.
424
00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:44,982
? Hallelujah! ?
425
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,350
Move along, Arnold.
426
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:48,652
? For the lord God... ?
427
00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,888
There was nothing moreI could do.
428
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:54,824
The die was cast.It was Santa's last stand.
429
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,793
? Hallelujah! ?
430
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:58,128
? For the lord... ?
431
00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,530
It's Arnold! Come on!
432
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,066
[ Train whistle blows ]
433
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,034
- Look, guys...
- Where is he, Kev?
434
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,168
Might as well tell us.
435
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:06,769
Forget it!
436
00:20:06,771 --> 00:20:09,206
Fine. We're just gonna have to
find him ourselves.
437
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,475
Come on, guys, split up.
438
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:15,445
I stood there,helpless, outnumbered.
439
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:17,547
And that's when it happened.
440
00:20:21,186 --> 00:20:22,486
Doug Porter looked first,
441
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,787
directly into the eyesof the man
442
00:20:24,789 --> 00:20:27,790
who'd taught him gymfor three long years.
443
00:20:32,197 --> 00:20:37,534
Then Tommy Kisling looked, too,and Randy Mitchell.
444
00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:42,372
Those three skeptics gazedstraight at that white beard,
445
00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:44,474
dead into the eyesof coach Cutlip
446
00:20:44,476 --> 00:20:46,342
not 30 feet away.
447
00:20:51,383 --> 00:20:54,785
But all that they saw...
448
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,754
Was Santa Claus.
449
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:07,698
Come on, guys.
Let's keep looking.
450
00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:14,771
It was a miracle.
451
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,274
He stood therelike some patron Saint
452
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:21,978
of all the lonely peopleholidays sometimes forget.
453
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:26,149
? Silent night ?
454
00:21:26,151 --> 00:21:30,187
? Holy night ?
455
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:34,724
? All is calm ?
456
00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:39,196
? All is bright ?
457
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:42,732
All right.
Who's next to see Santa?
458
00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:45,769
And for that brief momentof Christmas magic,
459
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:49,873
ed Cutlip got his chanceto be what he always wanted.
460
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,074
Your brother's here?
461
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,609
Well, bring him up
at the same time.
462
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:54,344
I'll talk to both of you
at the same time.
463
00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:57,314
What a fine-looking family
you come from.
464
00:21:57,316 --> 00:22:05,316
? Sleep in heavenly peace ?
465
00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:13,564
? Sleep in heavenly peace ?
466
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:18,134
And I never gave him away.
467
00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:24,875
? Holy night ?
468
00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:27,911
Hohoho! Merry Christmas!
469
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:32,115
? All is bright ?
470
00:22:32,117 --> 00:22:35,084
? 'Round yon... ?
471
00:22:35,134 --> 00:22:39,684
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