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Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:02,526 --> 00:00:04,063
[ Crow caws ]
3
00:00:04,243 --> 00:00:06,030
Frankie:
A hard day's work--
4
00:00:06,182 --> 00:00:08,981
it's the cornerstoneof the American dream.
5
00:00:09,194 --> 00:00:10,290
Why do we do it?
6
00:00:10,382 --> 00:00:12,827
To keep usin our lavish lifestyles.
7
00:00:13,092 --> 00:00:15,591
[ Scoffs ] Damn it.
8
00:00:15,822 --> 00:00:17,422
We're out of crackers.
9
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:18,989
[ Sighs ]
10
00:00:21,102 --> 00:00:22,608
Tough day at the office?
11
00:00:22,829 --> 00:00:25,038
Yeah. I got bad news
from Corporate.
12
00:00:25,132 --> 00:00:27,177
They're making me take
a paid vacation.
13
00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:28,282
They say
it's mandatory--
14
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,489
some sort of...
insurance issue.
15
00:00:30,583 --> 00:00:32,497
Oh, no.
A paid vacation?
16
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,538
Do you want to tell the kids
or should I?
17
00:00:34,632 --> 00:00:35,996
That's not funny.
What am I gonna do?
18
00:00:36,157 --> 00:00:37,639
It's not like
I can go anywhere.
19
00:00:37,736 --> 00:00:38,803
You don't have to go anywhere.
20
00:00:38,962 --> 00:00:40,628
You know, I heard that,
these days,
21
00:00:40,709 --> 00:00:43,559
celebrities are taking
what they call a staycation.
22
00:00:43,678 --> 00:00:44,588
Pbht. Yeah.
23
00:00:44,672 --> 00:00:45,464
I bet wherever they're staying
24
00:00:45,548 --> 00:00:47,476
is a hell of a lot nicer
than this place.
25
00:00:47,775 --> 00:00:48,903
[ Sighs ]
I'm sorry.
26
00:00:48,987 --> 00:00:49,992
Look,
I-I-I just don't like
27
00:00:50,070 --> 00:00:52,789
being forced to relax
against my will.
28
00:00:52,912 --> 00:00:55,029
You know what?
You're a weirdo.
29
00:00:55,144 --> 00:00:56,717
You're always talking
about how Brick's a weirdo,
30
00:00:56,822 --> 00:00:59,227
but you're a weirdo,
and that's where he gets it.
31
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:01,171
- No offense, Brick.
- None taken.
32
00:01:01,281 --> 00:01:02,536
Whoop!
33
00:01:02,734 --> 00:01:05,390
Oh! So, I was
at the Frugal Hoosier today.
34
00:01:05,629 --> 00:01:09,095
I saw a kid
that looked exactly like Axl.
35
00:01:09,187 --> 00:01:10,827
I'm not kidding.
He was a dead ringer.
36
00:01:10,909 --> 00:01:12,570
I almost went over
and kissed him.
37
00:01:12,692 --> 00:01:14,851
Easy, Frankie. You'll see him
after spring break.
38
00:01:15,188 --> 00:01:16,499
[ Groans ] Why does he
have to go to Florida?
39
00:01:16,579 --> 00:01:18,280
What does Florida have
that we don't?
40
00:01:18,483 --> 00:01:20,929
Beaches, young people, hope.
41
00:01:21,179 --> 00:01:24,256
[ Sighs ] I just miss him, Mike.
I want to talk to him.
42
00:01:24,365 --> 00:01:26,706
So call him. He's still
up at school for a couple days.
43
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,412
Mm. If I call him,
he'll be all, "Oh, this is Axl.
44
00:01:29,513 --> 00:01:31,157
Leave a message after the beep."
[ Door opens, closes ]
45
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,758
He does that sometimes,
and I know it's not the machine.
46
00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:34,765
[ Sue laughs ]
47
00:01:34,836 --> 00:01:36,301
I love spring break so much!
48
00:01:36,376 --> 00:01:37,895
Some of my co-workers
at the potato place
49
00:01:37,988 --> 00:01:39,174
are going on trips
with their families,
50
00:01:39,285 --> 00:01:42,728
so I get to work double shifts
the whole vacation!
51
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:44,088
- [ Gasps ]
- Don't rub it in.
52
00:01:44,202 --> 00:01:46,153
Oh! I'm gonna go tape up
my new schedule.
53
00:01:47,165 --> 00:01:48,984
You know what?
Both you guys are weird.
54
00:01:49,069 --> 00:01:51,966
Am I the only normal American
that hates their job?
55
00:01:53,495 --> 00:01:55,097
So, after fixingthe cabinet door
56
00:01:55,244 --> 00:01:57,310
and organizing his box of wire,
57
00:01:57,442 --> 00:02:01,279
Mike started to settle intothe idea of vacation.
58
00:02:01,690 --> 00:02:04,910
Look at you, Mr. "I'm not
gonna enjoy my vacation."
59
00:02:05,085 --> 00:02:07,551
So, what's on the docket
for day number 1?
60
00:02:07,668 --> 00:02:11,176
Uh, well, I think I'll finally
re-watch the Colts Super Bowl,
61
00:02:11,363 --> 00:02:13,148
catch up
on a little local news,
62
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:14,263
then I might take a nap
63
00:02:14,338 --> 00:02:16,008
while my lady
brings home the bacon.
64
00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:16,747
Hm.
65
00:02:16,882 --> 00:02:18,438
Seriously, can you
bring home some bacon?
66
00:02:18,543 --> 00:02:19,910
I want to make a sandwich
later.
67
00:02:22,411 --> 00:02:23,267
Hi, dad.
68
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,687
[ Door closes ] So, I was thinking,
since we're both on vacation,
69
00:02:25,769 --> 00:02:28,362
that it'd be a good time for you
to redeem all your coupons.
70
00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:29,808
What coupons?
71
00:02:29,957 --> 00:02:32,093
All those coupons I made
for you over the years.
72
00:02:32,181 --> 00:02:34,823
You know, for Father's Day,
your birthday, and whatnot.
73
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:36,109
Oh. Wow.
74
00:02:36,191 --> 00:02:37,533
Brick, uh...
75
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,288
those were great,
but I'm--
76
00:02:39,401 --> 00:02:40,915
I don't even know
where they are.
77
00:02:41,055 --> 00:02:42,611
You don't know where they are?
78
00:02:42,744 --> 00:02:43,978
No.
79
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,235
Uh, they're...
80
00:02:45,319 --> 00:02:47,829
You know, uh,
obviously very special to me.
81
00:02:47,929 --> 00:02:49,446
I bet your mom
put them somewhere.
82
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,001
Well, where do you think
she put them?
83
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:52,120
I don't know,
84
00:02:52,197 --> 00:02:55,373
but they're definitely not
between me and the TV.
85
00:02:59,697 --> 00:03:00,721
There you go.
86
00:03:00,818 --> 00:03:02,747
Okay, that's 22 cents
in the Disney World jar
87
00:03:02,856 --> 00:03:05,512
and 22 cents
in the new-car jar.
88
00:03:05,688 --> 00:03:06,798
I can't believe I have a job
89
00:03:06,888 --> 00:03:09,524
where I get paid
minimum wage and tips.
90
00:03:10,029 --> 00:03:10,990
Whatcha working on?
91
00:03:11,092 --> 00:03:12,415
I'm banging out
a scathing review
92
00:03:12,508 --> 00:03:14,129
of my cardio barre class
on Yelp.
93
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,981
I used to have this awesome teacher
named Dan who totally rocked.
94
00:03:17,084 --> 00:03:18,512
I mean, he really pushed me.
95
00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:19,743
I just wanted to please him.
96
00:03:19,841 --> 00:03:21,877
Then they replaced him
with Colleen, and I am sorry--
97
00:03:21,959 --> 00:03:24,088
Colleen just does notget me going like Dan.
98
00:03:24,285 --> 00:03:26,563
[ Gasps ] Wait.
99
00:03:26,687 --> 00:03:28,965
Does Yelp have reviews
for all kinds of stuff?
100
00:03:29,044 --> 00:03:31,940
Would they have a review
for, like... Spudsy's?
101
00:03:32,057 --> 00:03:33,910
- Probs. Let's check it out.
- Ooh!
102
00:03:34,724 --> 00:03:37,957
"Yummy potatoes.
Best potato place in town.
103
00:03:38,075 --> 00:03:39,550
Totally delish."
104
00:03:39,683 --> 00:03:40,598
Aah!
105
00:03:41,070 --> 00:03:42,339
[ Chuckles ]
106
00:03:42,888 --> 00:03:44,002
"I was there Tuesday night,
107
00:03:44,092 --> 00:03:46,026
and the girl who served me
was super-slow.
108
00:03:46,107 --> 00:03:48,112
By the time I got my potato,
it was cold.
109
00:03:48,217 --> 00:03:50,797
EpicPotatoFail."
110
00:03:51,057 --> 00:03:53,105
Wait. I was working
Tuesday night.
111
00:03:53,177 --> 00:03:53,940
[ Chuckles nervously ]
112
00:03:54,024 --> 00:03:54,990
Well, I'm sure it wasn't you.
113
00:03:55,062 --> 00:03:57,262
No, it had to be.
I was the only counter girl.
114
00:03:57,397 --> 00:03:58,454
Brittany had the stomach flu,
115
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,503
so they made her go in the back
and whip the sour cream.
116
00:04:01,912 --> 00:04:04,308
"F" to the "Y" to the "I"--
this is so not a big deal.
117
00:04:04,399 --> 00:04:06,166
Uh, it is a huge deal, Brad.
118
00:04:06,424 --> 00:04:09,584
MallRat37 thought
my service was slow,
119
00:04:09,677 --> 00:04:11,193
and now
it's all over the internet.
120
00:04:11,283 --> 00:04:13,058
Everyone in the world
is gonna read this!
121
00:04:13,279 --> 00:04:17,222
You know what? Maybe this was
just the wake-up call I needed.
122
00:04:17,415 --> 00:04:20,910
I used to study my Spudsy
manual every night before bed,
123
00:04:21,009 --> 00:04:22,823
and now I just
write in my diary
124
00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:24,510
or wish on stars
if it's a clear night
125
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,107
and go straight to sleep.
126
00:04:26,257 --> 00:04:26,987
[ Breathes deeply ]
127
00:04:27,105 --> 00:04:30,175
Starting now, I am gonna
rededicate myself to my work.
128
00:04:30,476 --> 00:04:31,599
[ Sighs ]
129
00:04:35,096 --> 00:04:37,056
Oh. Look at you.
130
00:04:37,356 --> 00:04:41,018
Still in your sweats,
playing cards, drinking beer.
131
00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:41,648
[ Gasps ]
132
00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:43,488
- Is that a chilled mug?
- Yep.
133
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,653
I got to tell you, you were right
about this whole vacation thing.
134
00:04:45,777 --> 00:04:48,595
See? I knew
this would be good for you.
135
00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:50,510
This is why
you have to listen to me.
136
00:04:50,596 --> 00:04:51,489
You know, sometimes--
137
00:04:51,572 --> 00:04:53,527
Frankie, I said you were right.
138
00:04:53,773 --> 00:04:54,577
[ Sighs ]
139
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:56,659
You know,
I must be going through
140
00:04:56,751 --> 00:04:59,656
some serious Axl withdrawal--
that or he has a twin,
141
00:04:59,763 --> 00:05:02,498
'cause I thought I saw him
again, on the drive home.
142
00:05:02,605 --> 00:05:05,212
Really? I don't even
see the kids when they're here.
143
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:06,561
Yeah, it's pretty bad, Mike.
144
00:05:06,644 --> 00:05:08,984
Last night, I went in his room
and smelled his pillow.
145
00:05:09,095 --> 00:05:10,454
That doesn't sound like
a great idea.
146
00:05:10,562 --> 00:05:11,688
Mm.
It was pretty rank.
147
00:05:11,813 --> 00:05:13,092
Is that the mail?
148
00:05:13,444 --> 00:05:14,815
Yeah.
Nothing but bills.
149
00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:16,816
And we accidentally got
some of the Donahues' mail.
150
00:05:16,951 --> 00:05:17,919
You've been here all day.
151
00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:19,320
Why didn't you
take it over there?
152
00:05:19,671 --> 00:05:21,118
My wife told me to relax.
153
00:05:21,685 --> 00:05:22,507
[ Sighs ]
154
00:05:25,298 --> 00:05:26,124
Good news.
155
00:05:26,227 --> 00:05:27,460
I found the coupons.
156
00:05:27,789 --> 00:05:29,388
Uh, really?
157
00:05:29,486 --> 00:05:30,171
Yeah.
158
00:05:30,262 --> 00:05:31,556
There was a bunch of them
in the basement,
159
00:05:31,659 --> 00:05:32,760
some were in the garage,
160
00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:34,557
a couple were crumpled
underneath your bed,
161
00:05:34,683 --> 00:05:36,742
and I found this one
for Father's Day
162
00:05:36,846 --> 00:05:39,035
tangled up in the cords
behind the TV.
163
00:05:39,328 --> 00:05:41,831
Oh, good. You found
all my special places.
164
00:05:41,994 --> 00:05:44,010
Well, we've got a ton of coupons
to get through.
165
00:05:44,192 --> 00:05:45,978
I don't know which one
you want to start with.
166
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:48,385
We might want to knock
this one out for 100 hugs.
167
00:05:48,722 --> 00:05:49,606
Oh.
168
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:50,824
All right.
169
00:05:51,015 --> 00:05:53,256
One, two...
170
00:05:53,385 --> 00:05:55,607
- three, four...
- You know...
171
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,003
- ...that's a lot of hugging at once.
- ...five...
172
00:05:58,110 --> 00:06:00,250
- maybe we could spread
them out a little bit. - ...six...
173
00:06:00,342 --> 00:06:01,856
No problem.
What's your pleasure?
174
00:06:01,979 --> 00:06:03,526
We've got, uh...
175
00:06:03,591 --> 00:06:05,008
Ooh, breakfast in bed,
176
00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:06,845
- a scalp massage...
- [ Sighs ]
177
00:06:06,923 --> 00:06:08,677
...car wash,
mowing the lawn,
178
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,694
bring you
your pipe and slippers.
179
00:06:10,799 --> 00:06:13,497
Ooh! Here's one
for two minutes of tickle time.
180
00:06:13,671 --> 00:06:14,833
Hmm.
181
00:06:15,786 --> 00:06:17,329
Uh...
182
00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:20,359
[ Clicks tongue ]
183
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,333
Not that this isn't
a lot fun buddy,
184
00:06:22,464 --> 00:06:24,654
but, uh, I was kind of
in the middle of a card game.
185
00:06:24,905 --> 00:06:26,170
Can I play?
186
00:06:26,533 --> 00:06:28,964
Well, it's called solitaire,
so...
187
00:06:29,107 --> 00:06:30,932
Oh. Hold the phone.
188
00:06:31,143 --> 00:06:32,760
You are in luck.
189
00:06:32,862 --> 00:06:34,317
I happen to have a coupon
190
00:06:34,421 --> 00:06:37,127
for an afternoon of go fish
with yours truly.
191
00:06:37,691 --> 00:06:39,937
Eh-- mm.
192
00:06:41,438 --> 00:06:44,818
All right, uh,
do you have any 9s?
193
00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:46,228
Any 9s?
194
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:47,774
[ Exhales sharply ]
195
00:06:50,011 --> 00:06:51,372
[ Laughter ]
Woman: You're next.
196
00:06:51,695 --> 00:06:53,289
[ Dice rattle ]
Ohh!
197
00:06:53,397 --> 00:06:54,857
That's easy!
198
00:06:55,227 --> 00:06:56,362
[ Laughter ]
199
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,321
[ Dice rattle ]
200
00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,129
[ Indistinct talking ]
201
00:07:04,005 --> 00:07:05,336
[ Dice rattle ]
202
00:07:06,888 --> 00:07:08,416
- Yahtzee!
- Whoo!
203
00:07:08,754 --> 00:07:10,678
[ Laughs ] Yeah!
204
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
205
00:07:20,490 --> 00:07:22,526
Do you have any kings?
206
00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:25,312
Yes, I do.
Okay. That's it, then.
207
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,720
[ Door opens ] Oh, look.
Your mom's home.
208
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,996
Axl is over at the Donahues'.
209
00:07:30,099 --> 00:07:31,005
- What?
- Yeah.
210
00:07:31,111 --> 00:07:33,502
He's over there playing Yahtzee
with the whole family.
211
00:07:33,612 --> 00:07:35,994
I knew that was him
I saw roaming around town.
212
00:07:36,197 --> 00:07:38,376
I can't believe
he's been here for two days
213
00:07:38,469 --> 00:07:39,800
and he didn't come home.
214
00:07:39,905 --> 00:07:42,181
That lying, sneaky little jerk.
215
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,133
Did you tell him that?
216
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,206
No, I was hiding in the bushes
outside the window.
217
00:07:45,325 --> 00:07:48,370
Ooh! I am so mad,
I can't even see straight.
218
00:07:48,528 --> 00:07:51,316
Surprise!
I'm home!
219
00:07:51,428 --> 00:07:53,411
Are you, Axl?
Are you home?
220
00:07:53,493 --> 00:07:55,453
So you just drove home
straight from college?
221
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,504
Well, I, you know,
made a few stops.
222
00:07:57,606 --> 00:07:58,352
Oh, did you?
223
00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:00,566
Did you stop at the Donahues'for two days?
224
00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:02,376
Yeah, that's right, Axl.
I saw you.
225
00:08:02,491 --> 00:08:04,050
I saw you
at the Frugal Hoosier.
226
00:08:04,139 --> 00:08:06,161
I wanted to kiss you,
but I should've punched you.
227
00:08:06,260 --> 00:08:08,715
Whoa! Take it easy.
What's the big deal?
228
00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:10,440
Yeah, I decided to come home
for a few days,
229
00:08:10,521 --> 00:08:11,524
but then I ran into Sean,
230
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,614
and we ended up playing Xbox
till like 4:00 in the morning.
231
00:08:13,687 --> 00:08:14,782
Then, in the morning,
232
00:08:14,865 --> 00:08:17,259
Mrs. Donahue was making these
awesome blueberry pancakes,
233
00:08:17,350 --> 00:08:18,459
so I hung around for breakfast.
234
00:08:18,562 --> 00:08:20,901
And then we shot some hoops,
so I stayed for dinner.
235
00:08:21,013 --> 00:08:22,531
And, I mean, I was totally
gonna come home after that,
236
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,404
but it was family game night.
237
00:08:24,499 --> 00:08:26,604
I didn't want to hurt
Mrs. Donahue's feelings.
238
00:08:27,314 --> 00:08:28,753
What about my feelings?
239
00:08:28,844 --> 00:08:31,251
Did it ever occur to you
to play family games with me?
240
00:08:31,373 --> 00:08:32,843
Why would I do that?
241
00:08:32,923 --> 00:08:34,791
Because I'm your family!
242
00:08:34,854 --> 00:08:36,531
- Why are you so mad?
- [ Sighs ]
243
00:08:36,614 --> 00:08:37,606
I wasn't even
supposed to come home.
244
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,521
I was gonna go
straight from school to Florida,
245
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,249
but I thought it'd be cool
to surprise you.
246
00:08:41,335 --> 00:08:43,439
And I would've been surprised
if you'd come to our house
247
00:08:43,526 --> 00:08:44,949
instead of the neighbors'.
248
00:08:45,094 --> 00:08:46,925
See? This is why
I don't do anything nice.
249
00:08:47,077 --> 00:08:48,937
You didn't do anything nice!
250
00:08:49,115 --> 00:08:51,674
Maybe I should give mom
one of these hugs.
251
00:08:51,769 --> 00:08:53,034
Probably not the right time.
252
00:08:53,104 --> 00:08:54,428
Axl: You don't care
if I'm hanging at college,
253
00:08:54,517 --> 00:08:56,405
so why do you care
if I'm hanging at the Donahues'?
254
00:08:56,485 --> 00:08:57,681
I don't get why you're so mad.
255
00:08:57,772 --> 00:09:00,255
You know what, Axl?
I'm-- I'm not mad. I'm hurt.
256
00:09:00,341 --> 00:09:01,812
I'm hurt that you would
come all the way home
257
00:09:01,895 --> 00:09:04,064
and not want to spend time
with your own family.
258
00:09:04,161 --> 00:09:06,367
Why?! I'm not even
supposed to be here!
259
00:09:06,426 --> 00:09:08,835
This is, like, bonus Axl time.
You should be thanking me.
260
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,930
Thank you, Axl.
Thank you so much.
261
00:09:13,602 --> 00:09:15,328
Pbht. Hey.
262
00:09:19,613 --> 00:09:21,551
[ Indistinct talking on TV ]
263
00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,973
Okay. That's good.
Thanks for that.
264
00:09:24,116 --> 00:09:26,347
But the scalp-massage coupon
is for 30 minutes.
265
00:09:26,514 --> 00:09:29,001
Uh, uh... maybe we could
take the rest on credit.
266
00:09:29,083 --> 00:09:30,810
I'd really like
to knock this out today.
267
00:09:30,975 --> 00:09:31,659
Mm.
268
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:35,589
Okay, now MallRat37 is saying
my service was too fast.
269
00:09:35,773 --> 00:09:37,437
"The girl who served me
seemed rushed.
270
00:09:37,531 --> 00:09:38,807
She put my potato together
271
00:09:38,913 --> 00:09:40,592
as if she had
somewhere more important to be.
272
00:09:40,708 --> 00:09:43,216
On top of that,
she was completely impersonal.
273
00:09:43,344 --> 00:09:45,549
She barely even
made eye contact."
274
00:09:45,639 --> 00:09:47,531
If you don't mind, Sue,
dad's trying to watch a game.
275
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:49,789
I guess
I just got to try harder.
276
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:52,380
I mean, after all,
the customer is always right.
277
00:09:52,523 --> 00:09:56,048
Even if they completelycontradict themselves.
278
00:09:56,484 --> 00:09:59,991
So, Axl spent a grand totalof 27 hours at home--
279
00:10:00,078 --> 00:10:01,016
most of it sleeping--
280
00:10:01,105 --> 00:10:03,101
but it was all worth itwhen he came in and said...
281
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:05,227
Lates!
I'm heading to Florida!
282
00:10:05,386 --> 00:10:06,054
Frankie: Wait.
283
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:07,421
- So you're leaving now?- Yep.
284
00:10:07,550 --> 00:10:09,392
Driving straight through
'cause everyone's gonna meet
285
00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:10,611
in time
to hit the beach tomorrow.
286
00:10:10,698 --> 00:10:11,822
Next time you see me,
287
00:10:11,933 --> 00:10:13,810
my flesh will be
burnt to a crisp.
288
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,066
So you're just gonna
drive all night, then?
289
00:10:15,201 --> 00:10:16,402
Yep. [ Sighs ]
290
00:10:16,981 --> 00:10:17,958
Did you check your car?
291
00:10:18,060 --> 00:10:19,493
Did you put new duct tape
on the headlight?
292
00:10:19,576 --> 00:10:21,184
- Do you have enough gas?
- It's covered!
293
00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:22,613
So, do you have directions
for where you're going?
294
00:10:22,698 --> 00:10:24,822
[ Scoffs ] I'm not an idiot.
[ Chuckles ]
295
00:10:25,003 --> 00:10:25,700
Huh?
296
00:10:25,785 --> 00:10:26,967
Wait-- those are
your directions?
297
00:10:27,052 --> 00:10:29,866
It's a napkin with a map on it.
It's a map-kin. Later.
298
00:10:30,173 --> 00:10:32,313
Okay, well, drive safe.
And if you get tired, pull over.
299
00:10:32,395 --> 00:10:33,773
You're coming back Monday,
right?
300
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:34,721
Yes!
301
00:10:34,797 --> 00:10:36,636
- To this house?
- We'll see.
302
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:39,636
[ Door opens, closes ]
303
00:10:49,144 --> 00:10:51,149
Did someone order
breakfast in bed?
304
00:10:52,383 --> 00:10:54,057
[ Grunts ] Whoa.
305
00:10:54,433 --> 00:10:55,458
I didn't know
how many eggs you wanted,
306
00:10:55,548 --> 00:10:56,751
so I just made all of them.
307
00:10:56,946 --> 00:10:57,967
We're gonna need
to go to the store
308
00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,776
to buy more eggs
for tomorrow's breakfast.
309
00:11:00,072 --> 00:11:01,441
- Tomorrow?
- Yeah.
310
00:11:01,550 --> 00:11:03,417
You've got
six more of these babies.
311
00:11:03,889 --> 00:11:04,872
Ah.
312
00:11:06,765 --> 00:11:07,721
Mmm.
313
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:08,831
[ Crunches ]
314
00:11:08,913 --> 00:11:10,164
[ Chuckling ] Hey.
315
00:11:10,359 --> 00:11:11,458
This seems like a good time
316
00:11:11,555 --> 00:11:13,429
to redeem
one of your joke coupons.
317
00:11:13,860 --> 00:11:15,356
Knock knock.
318
00:11:15,525 --> 00:11:16,284
Who's there?
319
00:11:17,754 --> 00:11:19,828
Wait. I-I think you'resupposed to say "Knock knock."
320
00:11:19,964 --> 00:11:20,870
Knock knock.
321
00:11:21,015 --> 00:11:23,105
Hmm. That doesn't sound right,
either.
322
00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:24,761
Let's try a different joke.
323
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,605
A guy walks into a bar...
324
00:11:26,944 --> 00:11:28,125
I hope it's me.
325
00:11:29,078 --> 00:11:31,420
I will take a classic
with no chives.
326
00:11:31,526 --> 00:11:33,001
Coming right up.
327
00:11:41,276 --> 00:11:44,982
And a large orange drink,
please-- no ice.
328
00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:47,712
One jumbo orange, hold the ice.
329
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:52,207
[ Soda fountain fizzes ]
330
00:11:55,109 --> 00:11:58,026
[ Soda fountain fizzes ]
331
00:12:09,858 --> 00:12:12,535
[ Pop, clank, hiss ]
332
00:12:12,615 --> 00:12:13,937
That can't be good.
333
00:12:14,492 --> 00:12:16,326
[ Clank, rattle ]
334
00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:19,404
So... what happened?
335
00:12:19,756 --> 00:12:21,736
Well, y'all
cracked your engine block.
336
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,770
Hmm. So is that, like,
a duct-tape situation?
337
00:12:23,925 --> 00:12:26,127
I mean, how much would it cost
to fix something like that?
338
00:12:26,232 --> 00:12:27,874
Ah, more than the car's worth.
339
00:12:28,137 --> 00:12:29,640
Hmm.
Here's the thing.
340
00:12:29,741 --> 00:12:32,903
Uh... this car was a graduation
gift from my parents.
341
00:12:32,988 --> 00:12:34,909
[ Chuckling ] Oh, well,
why didn't you say so?
342
00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:37,400
I can give you
the graduation-gift special.
343
00:12:37,621 --> 00:12:38,525
Really?
344
00:12:38,726 --> 00:12:39,838
No.
345
00:12:41,478 --> 00:12:42,440
[ Sighs ]
346
00:12:42,707 --> 00:12:44,386
[ Telephone rings ]
347
00:12:45,971 --> 00:12:47,911
Female voice:
You have a collect call from...
348
00:12:48,064 --> 00:12:49,318
Axl.
349
00:12:49,411 --> 00:12:51,296
Would you liketo accept the charges?
350
00:12:51,561 --> 00:12:52,774
Yes.
351
00:12:53,001 --> 00:12:54,074
Hello?
352
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,276
Uh...
353
00:12:55,697 --> 00:12:56,913
Mommy?
354
00:12:57,332 --> 00:12:59,498
You are not gonna believe this.
355
00:12:59,593 --> 00:13:01,376
I just got a call from Axl.
356
00:13:01,513 --> 00:13:04,308
He took off for Florida
without even checking his oil,
357
00:13:04,427 --> 00:13:05,982
and now his car is ruined,
358
00:13:06,082 --> 00:13:07,545
he's got no money,
no way to get home,
359
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,826
and he called me collect 'cause
he forgot his phone charger.
360
00:13:10,947 --> 00:13:12,309
Tell me-- based on
everything we know about Axl,
361
00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:14,214
why wouldn't I believe that?
362
00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:16,505
He wants us to come
to Chattanooga and pick him up.
363
00:13:16,746 --> 00:13:18,118
I wouldn't recommend
walking on these boots
364
00:13:18,201 --> 00:13:19,788
for at least half an hour.
365
00:13:19,869 --> 00:13:22,064
That's stupid. Why would you
even think about doing that?
366
00:13:22,147 --> 00:13:24,842
Because he's our son and
he's on the side of the road.
367
00:13:24,944 --> 00:13:25,971
He's Mr. Smart Guy.
368
00:13:26,068 --> 00:13:28,012
He got himself into this.
Let him get himself out.
369
00:13:28,195 --> 00:13:30,769
You're right. He's horrible.
He is disrespectful.
370
00:13:30,864 --> 00:13:33,749
There's no reason anyone should
lift a finger to help him.
371
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,763
And now I'm... getting in my car
to go get him.
372
00:13:37,263 --> 00:13:38,914
[ Door opens, closes ]
373
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:41,558
Sue, whatever you do,
do not look at Yelp.
374
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:42,973
What? Why?
375
00:13:43,105 --> 00:13:45,462
Just trust me-- I'm being
a really good friend right now.
376
00:13:45,546 --> 00:13:47,654
Thanks, Brad. I won't.
[ Cellphone beeps ]
377
00:13:48,193 --> 00:13:50,565
[ High-pitched ]
N-o-o-o-o-o!
378
00:13:57,886 --> 00:14:00,823
So, Mike finally found a wayto enjoy his staycation--
379
00:14:00,987 --> 00:14:04,260
by staying a little fartheraway from Brick.
380
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,712
Whoa.
381
00:14:12,258 --> 00:14:13,234
Whoa, Brick.
382
00:14:18,538 --> 00:14:19,813
[ Whimpers ]
383
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:21,431
[ Grunts ]
384
00:14:25,433 --> 00:14:26,707
[ Motor slows, stops ]
Damn it, Brick.
385
00:14:26,806 --> 00:14:28,800
Sorry. I was trying
to finish another coupon.
386
00:14:28,897 --> 00:14:30,107
[ Sighs ]
Enough with the damn coupons.
387
00:14:30,217 --> 00:14:31,669
Nobody cares about the coupons.
388
00:14:31,744 --> 00:14:32,635
Parents only
pretend to like them
389
00:14:32,734 --> 00:14:34,319
'cause they don't want
their kids to feel bad.
390
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:35,748
All I'm trying to do
is enjoy this vacation
391
00:14:35,859 --> 00:14:37,441
that I didn't want to take
in the first place.
392
00:14:37,554 --> 00:14:39,033
And I can't even do that
'cause every time I turn around,
393
00:14:39,109 --> 00:14:42,261
you're... polishing my boots
or singing me to sleep
394
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:44,206
or trying to kill me
with a lawn mower.
395
00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:48,431
The only coupon I want is
unlimited leave-me-alone time.
396
00:14:48,685 --> 00:14:50,414
And if you could read
anyone's reaction to anything,
397
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:52,081
you would get that.
398
00:14:54,264 --> 00:14:55,692
Gah!
399
00:14:57,027 --> 00:14:58,171
Your mom is wrong.
400
00:14:58,376 --> 00:15:00,310
You're way weirder than I am.
401
00:15:06,183 --> 00:15:07,898
[ Engine shuts off ]
402
00:15:08,694 --> 00:15:10,266
[ Door handle clicks ]
403
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:11,631
[ Knocks ]
It's locked.
404
00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:14,466
I know. I haven't decided
if I'm gonna let you in yet.
405
00:15:14,576 --> 00:15:15,601
[ Chuckles ] Really?
406
00:15:15,689 --> 00:15:17,242
You're gonna drive
all the way to Chattanooga
407
00:15:17,357 --> 00:15:18,552
and not let me in the car?
408
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:22,001
You drove all the way to Orson
and didn't come to our house.
409
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:23,636
Oh, my God.
You're still mad about that?
410
00:15:23,786 --> 00:15:26,611
Yes, but thanks to you, that's
been pushed far down the list
411
00:15:26,696 --> 00:15:28,827
of the moronic things
you've done.
412
00:15:30,274 --> 00:15:32,515
Get in.
[ Locks click ]
413
00:15:32,617 --> 00:15:33,847
Maybe I don't want to get in.
414
00:15:33,923 --> 00:15:35,432
You know, you only focus
on the bad things I do.
415
00:15:35,498 --> 00:15:37,954
I'm smart in a lot of ways.
You just never see it.
416
00:15:38,117 --> 00:15:40,297
Whatever.
Have fun in Tennessee.
417
00:15:40,803 --> 00:15:42,637
[ Engine turns over ]
I'm in Tennessee?
418
00:15:55,514 --> 00:15:56,745
Look, I'm, uh...
419
00:15:56,857 --> 00:15:59,914
sorry I yelled at you
about those coupons.
420
00:16:00,038 --> 00:16:01,898
I appreciate you
wanting to spend time with me
421
00:16:01,998 --> 00:16:03,256
and do all those nice things.
422
00:16:03,334 --> 00:16:04,846
I enjoy spending time
with you, too.
423
00:16:06,945 --> 00:16:09,055
Oh. I don't care
about spending time with you.
424
00:16:09,618 --> 00:16:10,664
You don't?
425
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,617
I just want to get those coupons
off my plate.
426
00:16:12,858 --> 00:16:15,205
I mean, after all,
I did give them to you,
427
00:16:15,259 --> 00:16:17,885
so those are services
I legally have to render.
428
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,416
And frankly, I don't want them
hanging over my head.
429
00:16:20,726 --> 00:16:21,344
I don't want to be
430
00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:23,121
in some important
business meeting someday
431
00:16:23,264 --> 00:16:25,876
and get pulled out
to give you a scalp massage.
432
00:16:26,203 --> 00:16:27,249
[ Sighs ]
433
00:16:27,338 --> 00:16:29,809
Brick, I was never gonna
hold you to those coupons.
434
00:16:29,899 --> 00:16:32,252
If you want to just
tear them all up, be my guest.
435
00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:33,438
Really?
436
00:16:33,528 --> 00:16:34,263
Yeah.
437
00:16:34,343 --> 00:16:35,334
Far be it from me to interrupt
438
00:16:35,417 --> 00:16:38,055
any important business meeting
you might be running.
439
00:16:38,287 --> 00:16:39,319
Thanks, dad.
440
00:16:39,447 --> 00:16:41,087
And it's not that I don't want
to spend time with you.
441
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:43,794
It's just...
I don't want to feel obligated.
442
00:16:44,105 --> 00:16:45,435
I-I think
it would be better
443
00:16:45,542 --> 00:16:47,282
if we let things happen
naturally.
444
00:16:47,729 --> 00:16:48,780
Okay.
445
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,264
Huh. Look at this.
446
00:16:51,550 --> 00:16:52,984
We did 99 hugs.
447
00:16:53,264 --> 00:16:54,561
We were only one away.
448
00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:57,188
Well, want to knock out
number 100 right now?
449
00:16:57,628 --> 00:16:59,489
Nah, I'm good.
450
00:17:01,106 --> 00:17:01,837
Me too.
451
00:17:01,935 --> 00:17:03,024
[ Taps counter ]
452
00:17:06,266 --> 00:17:08,776
Okay, I know you said not to
look at Yelp, Brad, but I did.
453
00:17:08,943 --> 00:17:10,010
Oh, Sue.
454
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,751
I have an advance copy
of the yearbook.
455
00:17:11,851 --> 00:17:12,851
Don't look at that, either.
456
00:17:12,936 --> 00:17:14,505
I just don't understand
what's going on here.
457
00:17:14,623 --> 00:17:17,734
I mean, this whole thing
has gotten totally out of hand.
458
00:17:17,881 --> 00:17:20,014
I got to find out
who MallRat37 is.
459
00:17:20,111 --> 00:17:21,432
Oh, God!
It could be anybody!
460
00:17:21,514 --> 00:17:22,468
Brad, give me your phone!
461
00:17:22,557 --> 00:17:23,982
- No!
- Why not?
462
00:17:24,113 --> 00:17:26,098
Is it because you're MallRat37?
463
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,464
Oh, my God!
It is you!
464
00:17:28,575 --> 00:17:29,807
Sue, stage slap!
465
00:17:29,925 --> 00:17:30,956
[ Grunts ]
466
00:17:31,447 --> 00:17:33,160
Nice try,
but that is not gonna do it!
467
00:17:33,297 --> 00:17:34,894
This ends now!
468
00:17:36,152 --> 00:17:37,793
Can I have
everybody's attention, please?
469
00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:42,964
What is happening to us
as a society?
470
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,995
What kind of world
do we live in
471
00:17:45,101 --> 00:17:47,180
where people
make nasty comments
472
00:17:47,343 --> 00:17:50,463
and don't even have the decency
to sign their name?
473
00:17:50,794 --> 00:17:53,385
Well, I am here today to say
474
00:17:53,467 --> 00:17:55,238
that we are not gonna
put up with it anymore.
475
00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:57,143
If people have
constructive criticisms,
476
00:17:57,273 --> 00:17:59,642
then, please,
just say them to my face.
477
00:17:59,842 --> 00:18:01,652
Your potatoes suck.
478
00:18:01,811 --> 00:18:03,835
I said
"constructive criticism."
479
00:18:03,924 --> 00:18:06,270
They taste like they've been
microwaved instead of baked.
480
00:18:06,390 --> 00:18:08,951
Okay, that's not true.
They are pre-baked in Kansas.
481
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,782
But... my point is--
482
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:13,991
I feel like the pictures
misrepresent the food.
483
00:18:14,069 --> 00:18:15,594
Well, they do have
food stylists,
484
00:18:15,706 --> 00:18:17,404
but that's just
good advertising.
485
00:18:17,494 --> 00:18:18,348
Man: The pop's flat.
486
00:18:18,451 --> 00:18:20,112
That's because it's 90% ice.
487
00:18:20,201 --> 00:18:21,740
Okay, that is
a corporate issue.
488
00:18:21,837 --> 00:18:23,290
T-they tell us
where to fill it.
489
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,260
I hate
the cheap, plastic forks.
490
00:18:25,358 --> 00:18:27,186
We like real silverware.
491
00:18:27,276 --> 00:18:29,212
Well, so did we, but people
put them in the trash.
492
00:18:29,353 --> 00:18:31,390
Your potatoesbelong in the trash.
493
00:18:31,471 --> 00:18:32,701
You know, my Aunt Ginny said,
494
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,348
"If you don't have
anything nice to say,
495
00:18:34,451 --> 00:18:35,645
don't say anything at all."
496
00:18:35,734 --> 00:18:36,954
Your aunt's stupid.
497
00:18:37,026 --> 00:18:38,221
She's actually dead.
498
00:18:38,299 --> 00:18:40,104
Why? Did she eat
one of your potatoes?
499
00:18:40,198 --> 00:18:41,260
[ Laughter ]
500
00:18:42,876 --> 00:18:44,114
Pbhhht.
501
00:18:46,071 --> 00:18:48,161
I don't know how to do this
anymore, Axl.
502
00:18:48,882 --> 00:18:50,029
Do what?
503
00:18:50,348 --> 00:18:51,645
This.
504
00:18:52,301 --> 00:18:54,432
I mean, you say you want me
to treat you like an adult.
505
00:18:54,513 --> 00:18:57,246
You want to do whatever
you want, go wherever you want,
506
00:18:57,324 --> 00:18:59,323
you don't want me
asking you any questions,
507
00:18:59,464 --> 00:19:00,940
but you want me
to come and pick you up
508
00:19:01,031 --> 00:19:02,455
when your car breaks down.
509
00:19:02,651 --> 00:19:04,539
I mean, I'm confused.
510
00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:06,752
Am I your mom?
Am I not your mom?
511
00:19:06,914 --> 00:19:08,966
I-I-I don't know
what you want from me.
512
00:19:09,055 --> 00:19:10,848
You could've left me
some chips.
513
00:19:10,935 --> 00:19:12,030
[ Sighs ]
514
00:19:15,152 --> 00:19:17,161
You know,
just be honest with me.
515
00:19:17,263 --> 00:19:19,151
And, really, I don't even care
what your answer is.
516
00:19:19,334 --> 00:19:20,967
When you were staying
with the Donahues,
517
00:19:21,112 --> 00:19:22,882
did you think I'd be mad?
518
00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:25,270
Did you think I'd be hurt?
519
00:19:25,653 --> 00:19:28,425
I don't know. I guess I wasn't
really thinking about you at all.
520
00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:29,768
[ Sighs ]
521
00:19:30,161 --> 00:19:32,869
Wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
522
00:19:32,999 --> 00:19:33,813
W-- [ Sighs ]
523
00:19:33,905 --> 00:19:36,070
Look, it's... not like
I don't want you to be my mom
524
00:19:36,157 --> 00:19:37,265
or that
I don't want to see you.
525
00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,540
It's just...
526
00:19:39,147 --> 00:19:40,725
you're kind of
in my face a lot.
527
00:19:40,810 --> 00:19:41,532
[ Chuckles ]
528
00:19:41,628 --> 00:19:43,596
I mean, when you were my age,
didn't you parents bug you?
529
00:19:43,997 --> 00:19:46,023
Yeah, but my parents
were annoying.
530
00:19:46,457 --> 00:19:47,514
[ Sighs ]
531
00:19:47,981 --> 00:19:51,130
Listen, this is all
new territory for me, too, Axl.
532
00:19:51,235 --> 00:19:54,910
Y-you're my first.
I'm kind of flying blind here.
533
00:19:55,009 --> 00:19:57,951
So help me out.
Tell me what you want.
534
00:19:59,527 --> 00:20:01,339
- I don't know.
- [ Sighs ]
535
00:20:01,688 --> 00:20:03,684
You can ask me less questions.
536
00:20:04,695 --> 00:20:06,764
And when I call home,
you can maybe try
537
00:20:06,861 --> 00:20:09,243
not to tell me some long story
538
00:20:09,367 --> 00:20:11,307
about some kid
I was friends with in preschool
539
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:12,826
who started a website.
540
00:20:13,459 --> 00:20:15,000
And you can stare at me less.
541
00:20:15,248 --> 00:20:18,261
Sometimes, I notice you
staring at me for no reason.
542
00:20:18,349 --> 00:20:19,702
If I'm staring at you,
543
00:20:19,871 --> 00:20:22,561
it's because I think you have
the most beautiful eyes
544
00:20:22,664 --> 00:20:24,277
and perfect rosy cheeks
545
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,733
that you got
from your great-grandmother,
546
00:20:25,841 --> 00:20:27,096
and I just...
547
00:20:27,408 --> 00:20:29,255
[ Voice breaking ]
love you so much.
548
00:20:29,343 --> 00:20:31,242
Oh, come on, mom.
You're making this weird.
549
00:20:31,318 --> 00:20:32,620
Look...
[ Sighs ]
550
00:20:32,727 --> 00:20:33,896
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
551
00:20:33,976 --> 00:20:35,590
Honestly,
I really didn't mean to.
552
00:20:35,707 --> 00:20:37,885
From now on,
I'll... try to tell you
553
00:20:37,983 --> 00:20:39,319
about more stuff
that's going on in my life
554
00:20:39,418 --> 00:20:42,025
and try to stay at the neighbors'
less when I come home.
555
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,750
But you got to stop
worrying about me so much.
556
00:20:43,824 --> 00:20:46,261
[ Sighs ]
Axl, I'm your mom.
557
00:20:46,336 --> 00:20:48,431
I'm never gonna stop
worrying about you.
558
00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:50,273
But I'll try
to be cooler about it.
559
00:20:50,402 --> 00:20:52,072
And I'll try not to bore you
560
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:55,299
with my long stories
on the phone.
561
00:20:55,545 --> 00:20:58,198
But I am gonna stare at you,
all right? I just am.
562
00:20:58,283 --> 00:20:59,584
- Ugh.
- Hey.
563
00:20:59,688 --> 00:21:01,893
It's not like I'm going in your
room and sniffing your pillow.
564
00:21:02,008 --> 00:21:03,641
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah.
565
00:21:08,502 --> 00:21:10,324
[ Cellphone rings ]
566
00:21:11,113 --> 00:21:12,919
[ Cellphone beeps ]
Hello?
567
00:21:13,047 --> 00:21:14,926
[ Frankie
speaking indistinctly ]
568
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:15,831
Really?
569
00:21:15,906 --> 00:21:18,044
I was so mad when I left,
I forgot my purse,
570
00:21:18,127 --> 00:21:20,083
and I didn't check
the gas gauge.
571
00:21:22,561 --> 00:21:23,651
[ Cellphone beeps ]
572
00:21:23,757 --> 00:21:26,656
Got any coupons for picking up
a couple idiots in Tennessee?
573
00:21:29,253 --> 00:21:30,608
[ Grunts ]
574
00:21:38,622 --> 00:21:43,914
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
575
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,059
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576
00:21:47,109 --> 00:21:51,659
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