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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,339 --> 00:00:20,418 Open up, Spazz. We know you're in there. 2 00:00:20,518 --> 00:00:22,518 (Latin accent): Spazz no est? aqu?, man. 3 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,520 Where's the stuff, Spazz? Uh, I honestly don't know, 4 00:00:24,522 --> 00:00:26,589 guys. Actually, right now it's kind of 5 00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:28,758 a bad time. I'm having a gastrointestinal 6 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,194 kind of thing. Hey, guys. What's up? 7 00:00:32,196 --> 00:00:34,196 I love what you've done to the place. 8 00:00:34,198 --> 00:00:36,198 Look at this. (grunting) 9 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,200 Oh, look at you. Want to break it? 10 00:00:38,202 --> 00:00:40,336 If you guys need anything to drink or anything, there's a 11 00:00:40,338 --> 00:00:42,538 beer on the bed or some pizza in the bathroom, too. 12 00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:44,540 Did you just offer us shit pizza? 13 00:00:44,542 --> 00:00:46,542 It's got cheese in the crust. Well, you know what the good 14 00:00:46,544 --> 00:00:48,711 news is? The boss wants to see you... 15 00:00:48,713 --> 00:00:51,280 (panting): Oh, good. Let's go see him, then. 16 00:00:51,282 --> 00:00:53,616 You didn't let me finish. The boss wants to see you... 17 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:55,585 dead. 18 00:00:56,076 --> 00:01:03,604 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 19 00:01:04,088 --> 00:01:05,194 What's up?! KEVIN: Ow! 20 00:01:05,196 --> 00:01:07,029 Cheers. No, that's my beer. 21 00:01:07,031 --> 00:01:08,864 (phone ringing) We could share this beer, 22 00:01:08,866 --> 00:01:10,866 'cause we're best friends. No. I don't think so. 23 00:01:10,868 --> 00:01:12,868 Yeah, that's a good idea. I've got a whole lip thing going 24 00:01:12,870 --> 00:01:14,503 on. I'm having the best time with 25 00:01:14,505 --> 00:01:16,505 you bros. Hey, guy, are you gonna answer 26 00:01:16,507 --> 00:01:18,140 that? PETE: Rafi, I think it's your 27 00:01:18,142 --> 00:01:20,042 phone. Maybe it's one of my hot 28 00:01:20,044 --> 00:01:22,044 dogs, I don't know. (laughing): Whoa! 29 00:01:22,046 --> 00:01:24,046 ANDRE: Answer it. What? Oh, yeah. Hello. 30 00:01:24,048 --> 00:01:26,048 Yes, it is. Leonard Spazzinelli? 31 00:01:26,050 --> 00:01:28,250 Yeah, I know him. He's, like, my best friend. 32 00:01:28,252 --> 00:01:31,520 Don't get mad. (chuckles) Wait. 33 00:01:31,522 --> 00:01:34,991 Dead? Wh-What do you mean? Oh, my God! 34 00:01:34,993 --> 00:01:37,660 Oh, my God! (sobbing): Oh, my God! 35 00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:40,029 Brian, Spazz is dead! I don't know who that is. 36 00:01:40,031 --> 00:01:46,202 Oh, no, no! No! No! My God...! 37 00:01:46,204 --> 00:01:51,941 Randy! Randy! Aah! Randy...! 38 00:01:51,943 --> 00:01:56,579 (sobbing loudly) Hey. Come here. 39 00:01:56,581 --> 00:01:59,248 Find Randy. Find Randy! Rafi, hey. 40 00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:01,250 (Rafi sobbing) What's happened? 41 00:02:01,252 --> 00:02:03,452 What's happened? Spazz is dead! 42 00:02:03,454 --> 00:02:07,423 It's the worst day of my life. I got the news just today. 43 00:02:07,425 --> 00:02:12,194 They shot him, Randy! They shot him right in the head! 44 00:02:12,196 --> 00:02:14,764 They shot Spazz! I'm never gonna forget the 45 00:02:14,766 --> 00:02:17,900 last thing I said to him, man. I said, "Spazz, you can put the 46 00:02:17,902 --> 00:02:20,102 whole thing in your mouth." Yeah? 47 00:02:20,104 --> 00:02:22,705 And he said... (imitates choking) 48 00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:25,741 I remember, man, I was there, pushing his head down on it and 49 00:02:25,743 --> 00:02:27,743 shoving it in. Are you thinking what I'm 50 00:02:27,745 --> 00:02:29,745 thinking? That I really have to take a 51 00:02:29,747 --> 00:02:31,747 shit after eating three hot dogs on the way over here? 52 00:02:31,749 --> 00:02:33,916 No. We are gonna murder the people that murdered our friend 53 00:02:33,918 --> 00:02:35,551 Spazz! Yes! 54 00:02:35,553 --> 00:02:39,088 Guess what. What? 55 00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:42,324 Dirty Randy and Rafi are going to Los Angeles. 56 00:02:42,326 --> 00:02:46,462 Vigilante justice! Oh! Look at this mess! 57 00:02:46,464 --> 00:02:48,464 Who's this tall drink of water? 58 00:02:48,466 --> 00:02:50,466 This is disgusting. Please pick this up. 59 00:02:50,468 --> 00:02:52,468 Margaret, I quit this bullshit job. 60 00:02:52,470 --> 00:02:54,970 You can't quit-- you were fired four months ago. 61 00:02:54,972 --> 00:02:56,739 I quit now! You go get me my severance 62 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:58,674 package! You don't have a severance 63 00:02:58,676 --> 00:03:00,776 package. RANDY AND RAFI: You don't 64 00:03:00,778 --> 00:03:03,312 have a severance package! I have a very good severance 65 00:03:03,314 --> 00:03:04,947 package. Then get me your severance 66 00:03:04,949 --> 00:03:06,949 package! What's a severance package?! 67 00:03:06,951 --> 00:03:09,151 I'm going to call the security guard and he'll get 68 00:03:09,153 --> 00:03:11,153 rid of you. Oh, guess what. 69 00:03:11,155 --> 00:03:14,156 In this bullshit library, I own security! 70 00:03:14,158 --> 00:03:16,192 (quietly): I don't own security; we should probably go. 71 00:03:16,194 --> 00:03:18,027 That guy hates me. Oh, okay, let's go. 72 00:03:18,029 --> 00:03:20,029 We could get in trouble. Let's do this for Spazz! 73 00:03:20,031 --> 00:03:21,664 Right, let's do this for Spazz! 74 00:03:21,666 --> 00:03:24,533 We're gonna go to L.A.! Let's go to L.A.! Yeah! 75 00:03:24,535 --> 00:03:26,368 Where's your car? Where's your car? 76 00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:28,370 Where's the porn-mobile? I lost my car in a drag race 77 00:03:28,372 --> 00:03:31,107 with Korean teenagers. Why are you drag-racing 78 00:03:31,109 --> 00:03:32,708 Korean teenagers? It's the only way I can get a 79 00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:34,710 boner anymore. Your fetishes are getting, 80 00:03:34,712 --> 00:03:36,712 like, really specific. Are you finding the same 81 00:03:36,714 --> 00:03:38,347 thing? It used to be that I just 82 00:03:38,349 --> 00:03:40,549 wanted to get a blow job from a woman with no teeth, but now I 83 00:03:40,551 --> 00:03:42,952 only want to have sex with a woman with one tooth. 84 00:03:42,954 --> 00:03:45,221 I like having sex with a woman and ejaculating the moment 85 00:03:45,223 --> 00:03:47,223 she has her first menopausal hot flash. 86 00:03:47,225 --> 00:03:49,325 Dude! Yes! I call it man-opause. 87 00:03:49,327 --> 00:03:51,393 That's what she'll think of it as. Dude, that's good. 88 00:03:51,395 --> 00:03:53,028 Dude, it is so good seeing you, man. 89 00:03:53,030 --> 00:03:55,030 Good seeing you, bro. I'll talk to you later, man. 90 00:03:55,032 --> 00:03:57,199 You're the best. You're the best. 91 00:03:57,201 --> 00:03:59,301 Wait a minute! Spazz! We got to go to L.A.! 92 00:03:59,303 --> 00:04:01,237 How are we gonna get there? (Randy snaps fingers) 93 00:04:01,239 --> 00:04:03,739 I got a new set of wheels. Trust me, he's my best 94 00:04:03,741 --> 00:04:05,908 friend-- he's totally gonna let us borrow his car. 95 00:04:05,910 --> 00:04:08,344 I really think my car will make it to L.A., man. 96 00:04:08,346 --> 00:04:11,080 Uh, R-Randy, this-this is a BMX bike. 97 00:04:11,082 --> 00:04:13,182 Huge day at work today, and I don't know why I told Ruxin I'd 98 00:04:13,184 --> 00:04:14,817 pick him up and drive him to the airport. 99 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,418 JENNY: No. You are going to be great. 100 00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:19,455 Okay. I love you. Bye. 101 00:04:19,457 --> 00:04:26,462 What the shit? Where's my car? 102 00:04:26,464 --> 00:04:34,069 Oh, goddamn Rafi! 103 00:04:34,071 --> 00:04:43,445 Whoo! Whoo...! 104 00:04:43,447 --> 00:04:45,281 (tires screeching, horns honking) 105 00:04:45,283 --> 00:04:47,116 Whoa! Shit! Where are we? Where... 106 00:04:47,118 --> 00:04:49,251 I don't know, we're driving. We're good, we're good, 107 00:04:49,253 --> 00:04:50,886 we're good. Hey, Randy, what's gonna 108 00:04:50,888 --> 00:04:52,888 happen in L.A.? I think big things are gonna 109 00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,890 happen, is what I think. You do? 110 00:04:54,892 --> 00:04:57,459 I do. Oh, look at this beautiful 111 00:04:57,461 --> 00:05:00,095 country. Oh, we should go left. 112 00:05:00,097 --> 00:05:05,968 Go left, go left, go left. 113 00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:08,437 I love seeing all the dead animals at the side of the road. 114 00:05:08,439 --> 00:05:11,207 It really turns me on. (groans) 115 00:05:11,209 --> 00:05:13,976 Man! This baby's got the best butt plug I've ever worn. 116 00:05:13,978 --> 00:05:16,745 You want it? Yeah. 117 00:05:16,747 --> 00:05:20,082 I thought when I fell off, I would get a lot more hurt. 118 00:05:20,084 --> 00:05:21,984 Oh! Oh, it's so nice of your 119 00:05:21,986 --> 00:05:24,453 friend's stupid kid to leave us his baby drug mirror. 120 00:05:24,455 --> 00:05:26,455 Oh, yeah. Oh! I gave him this. 121 00:05:26,457 --> 00:05:28,657 So he could do drugs with it. Instead, he just looks at his 122 00:05:28,659 --> 00:05:31,493 dum-dum face with it. 123 00:05:31,495 --> 00:05:33,896 I'm so glad we can share this moment together. 124 00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:37,299 Me, too. It's just you and me... and Brian! What's up? 125 00:05:37,301 --> 00:05:39,301 Hey! Here we are at the Grand 126 00:05:39,303 --> 00:05:40,936 Canyon... Wow. 127 00:05:40,938 --> 00:05:42,938 ...jerking off. Just another of our "Coming on 128 00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,940 America" series. Oh, my God. 129 00:05:44,942 --> 00:05:46,475 This is Grand Canyon. Tomorrow... 130 00:05:46,477 --> 00:05:49,245 Oh, no, oh, God, shut it off! Oh, my God, oh, God! 131 00:05:49,247 --> 00:05:51,547 132 00:05:51,549 --> 00:05:59,188 Rafi. Wake up. Wake up, man! 133 00:05:59,190 --> 00:06:01,190 What? What? We're in L.A. 134 00:06:01,192 --> 00:06:04,260 Oh, my God! Amazing! I know! 135 00:06:04,262 --> 00:06:06,462 I had the craziest dream. We were driving on the wrong 136 00:06:06,464 --> 00:06:08,464 side of the highway and caused a huge pile-up. 137 00:06:08,466 --> 00:06:10,099 Oh, that actually happened. What?! 138 00:06:10,101 --> 00:06:12,101 I didn't wake you. You just looked like an angel. 139 00:06:12,103 --> 00:06:13,543 We just kept driving. That's amazing. 140 00:06:13,663 --> 00:06:16,272 L.A., baby! Ooh-ooh...! 141 00:06:19,124 --> 00:06:20,793 Looks like this is where Spazz was killed. 142 00:06:21,033 --> 00:06:22,665 This is nice. Super nice. 143 00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:24,667 I mean, whoa. All right, I'm gonna go talk 144 00:06:24,669 --> 00:06:26,669 to the manager, see what he knows-- you take care of the 145 00:06:26,671 --> 00:06:28,159 car. Done. 146 00:06:30,494 --> 00:06:33,276 Hey. You had a murder here in your motel a couple of days ago. 147 00:06:33,278 --> 00:06:35,345 I'm here to ask you a few questions, get to the bottom of 148 00:06:35,347 --> 00:06:36,946 it. Are you the police? 149 00:06:36,948 --> 00:06:38,948 Are you the police? No. 150 00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:42,719 Then yes, I am the police. My name is Sergeant Lieutenant 151 00:06:42,721 --> 00:06:46,222 Randolph. Dirty Randolph. 152 00:06:46,224 --> 00:06:48,558 So, what do you know, man? I don't know anything. 153 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:52,395 I told you everything. You are a tough nut to crack, 154 00:06:52,397 --> 00:06:55,698 but I'm gonna bust your nut. Didn't want it to come to this, 155 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:58,935 but looks like I'll have to use the powers of seduction. 156 00:06:58,937 --> 00:07:00,470 Please don't. Just tell me what I need to 157 00:07:00,472 --> 00:07:02,472 know-- maybe I can throw a little something your way. 158 00:07:02,474 --> 00:07:04,140 Look, my friend, you are not my type. 159 00:07:04,142 --> 00:07:06,242 I'm not your type?! I'm everyone's type. 160 00:07:06,244 --> 00:07:08,411 My junk is like O positive blood-- it's universally 161 00:07:08,413 --> 00:07:10,814 compatible. Look, man, I'd hate to see 162 00:07:10,816 --> 00:07:13,083 something bad happen to this place. 163 00:07:13,085 --> 00:07:15,552 No, wait. Hey, hey! That paper's expensive! 164 00:07:15,554 --> 00:07:17,554 Come back here! That's matte finish. 165 00:07:17,556 --> 00:07:19,389 Take it easy, all right? Okay, you gonna talk? 166 00:07:19,391 --> 00:07:21,224 You got cameras in this little shit hole. 167 00:07:21,226 --> 00:07:23,226 I want the shower cams, I want the toilet cams. 168 00:07:23,228 --> 00:07:25,128 And not just the ones looking at the toilet-- I want the ones in 169 00:07:25,130 --> 00:07:26,963 the toilet. I want to see what the poop 170 00:07:26,965 --> 00:07:28,965 sees. No, you're not getting the 171 00:07:28,967 --> 00:07:30,800 poop cam. Give me my poop cams! 172 00:07:30,802 --> 00:07:36,673 No! Not getting my poop cams! Whoa! Whoa! Rafi! 173 00:07:36,675 --> 00:07:38,508 What? What are you doing, man?! 174 00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:40,343 What, you said take care of the car. 175 00:07:40,345 --> 00:07:42,345 So you lit it on fire? That's what "take care of it" 176 00:07:42,347 --> 00:07:44,180 means! When I asked you to take care 177 00:07:44,182 --> 00:07:46,282 of my mother's cat, is this what you did? 178 00:07:46,284 --> 00:07:48,651 Of course! This is a "my bad" kind of 179 00:07:48,653 --> 00:07:50,653 scenario. Totally. 180 00:07:50,655 --> 00:07:52,689 I had no idea you couldn't light a car on fire in Los 181 00:07:52,691 --> 00:07:54,524 Angeles. Now we know. 182 00:07:54,526 --> 00:07:56,593 You can't burn a car anywhere actually. 183 00:07:56,595 --> 00:07:58,328 Oh, you can. I've burned, like, 40 cars-- 184 00:07:58,330 --> 00:08:00,163 never been arrested. You should... you should g... 185 00:08:00,165 --> 00:08:01,798 It's a great way to get rid of evidence. 186 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,800 Yeah. Probably shouldn't tell me 187 00:08:03,802 --> 00:08:05,435 that. We're on the same team here. 188 00:08:05,437 --> 00:08:07,437 We-We're detectives. For now. When we solve our 189 00:08:07,439 --> 00:08:09,439 friend's murder, we will become vigilantes. 190 00:08:09,441 --> 00:08:11,508 Yes. That's illegal. You can't be 191 00:08:11,510 --> 00:08:13,610 a vigilante. Why? Batman does it. 192 00:08:13,612 --> 00:08:15,612 There's no such thing as Batman, and being a vigilante... 193 00:08:15,614 --> 00:08:18,515 What? You are so wrong! If you go to Gotham right now, 194 00:08:18,517 --> 00:08:20,517 Batman is taking the law into his own hands. 195 00:08:20,519 --> 00:08:22,318 Batman is a fictitious character... 196 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,154 Batman is the alter ego of Bruce Wayne, who's... 197 00:08:24,156 --> 00:08:26,156 Who's real, obviously. In the movie, he's a real... 198 00:08:26,158 --> 00:08:27,891 In the documentaries. I'm sorry? 199 00:08:27,893 --> 00:08:29,726 There's, like, a million documentaries about Batman. 200 00:08:29,728 --> 00:08:31,895 There's one from the '70s, then there's some from the '90s, 201 00:08:31,897 --> 00:08:33,563 then they just had three in the last, like, decade. 202 00:08:33,565 --> 00:08:35,565 There's, like, three new documentaries about Batman! 203 00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:37,500 Do you have any idea what the term "documentary" means? 204 00:08:37,502 --> 00:08:39,335 Yeah, non-porno movies. With real people in them. 205 00:08:39,337 --> 00:08:41,337 English Patient. You guys belong in a mental 206 00:08:41,339 --> 00:08:42,972 institution. That's how we met, actually. 207 00:08:42,974 --> 00:08:45,074 It was lovely. Look, you guys just-just get 208 00:08:45,076 --> 00:08:47,010 out of here, okay? Just get out. Whoa. Wait, what? 209 00:08:47,012 --> 00:08:48,645 Just get out of Los Angeles, okay? 210 00:08:48,647 --> 00:08:50,647 Just get out? Just get out of here? 211 00:08:50,649 --> 00:08:52,248 Just get out. When I saw you were bald, I 212 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:53,883 thought I shouldn't be presumptuous... 213 00:08:53,885 --> 00:08:55,885 I can't believe it took us this long, man. 214 00:08:55,887 --> 00:08:57,587 You're a Nazi. You're a Nazi, man. 215 00:08:57,589 --> 00:08:59,489 Excuse me? You just gave us a full-on 216 00:08:59,491 --> 00:09:01,491 Nazi salute. No, no, no. No, no, I was 217 00:09:01,493 --> 00:09:03,092 not. No, I was saying, "Get out." 218 00:09:03,094 --> 00:09:04,727 What do you think the motion is? 219 00:09:04,729 --> 00:09:06,729 That's what Hitler was saying. Is that what he was saying? 220 00:09:06,731 --> 00:09:08,565 He was saying, "Jews, get out of Germany." 221 00:09:08,567 --> 00:09:10,667 No, that's a Sieg Heil. He was going, "Heil" and he 222 00:09:10,669 --> 00:09:12,669 went low-l, too. No, it's not like "high up 223 00:09:12,671 --> 00:09:15,338 high" and lo... No, it's-it's... Look, I'm not even sure of the 224 00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:17,840 origins of-of Sieg He... You seem like you are. 225 00:09:17,842 --> 00:09:20,043 No, I don't seem like I am. I was saying good-bye. 226 00:09:20,045 --> 00:09:22,045 You've done it, like, 100 times, man. 227 00:09:22,047 --> 00:09:24,280 I'm trying to show you! I'm showing you! 228 00:09:24,282 --> 00:09:26,616 I'm showing here! This country is very open to 229 00:09:26,618 --> 00:09:28,618 Nazis. Okay, you know what, here are 230 00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,620 your friend's belongings. Take them, get out of here. 231 00:09:30,622 --> 00:09:33,523 Ooh, Spazz's stuff. Whew, let's see what we got. 232 00:09:33,525 --> 00:09:35,692 Don't dump it out on my... We're just gonna use this... 233 00:09:35,694 --> 00:09:37,527 Why did Spazz have a tape dispenser? 234 00:09:37,529 --> 00:09:39,596 That's not... That's my tape. Are these Spazz's? 235 00:09:39,598 --> 00:09:41,631 Those are my paper clips. Wait, there's a clue in here. 236 00:09:41,633 --> 00:09:45,068 "Booty Barn, Oxnard Road, Van Nuys." 237 00:09:45,070 --> 00:09:46,903 Nice. How do we get there? 238 00:09:46,905 --> 00:09:49,872 Looks like Spazz left us the keys to the Spazz Mobile. 239 00:09:49,874 --> 00:09:53,076 Awesome! Tell you what, man, you hear about a murder at the 240 00:09:53,078 --> 00:09:55,411 Booty Barn tonight, you know who did it. 241 00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:59,882 Rafi and Dirty Randy. You can go eat your own dick. 242 00:09:59,884 --> 00:10:07,824 Whew. Oh, ho, ho, ho. 243 00:10:07,826 --> 00:10:10,226 This place is nice. Right? I'm glad you wore your 244 00:10:10,228 --> 00:10:14,964 nice flip-flops. Stay frosty, man. 245 00:10:14,966 --> 00:10:17,133 Okay. One of these sickos could've 246 00:10:17,135 --> 00:10:19,469 killed our friend Spazz. We owe it to Spazz to stay 247 00:10:19,471 --> 00:10:25,908 here and investigate every clue we can as deep as possible. 248 00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,910 Or at least as far as they'll let us go. 249 00:10:27,912 --> 00:10:29,746 I want to investigate that clue. 250 00:10:29,748 --> 00:10:31,748 There's a black clue back there that I'm really curious 251 00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:33,616 about. I heard there's a clue in the 252 00:10:33,618 --> 00:10:36,619 back that has coke. I've got a lot of pent up 253 00:10:36,621 --> 00:10:38,621 investigating to do. Oh, me, too! I got blue 254 00:10:38,623 --> 00:10:40,957 clues! Yeah, I'd like to investigate 255 00:10:40,959 --> 00:10:45,194 all over some of these clues! Let's do it, man. 256 00:10:45,196 --> 00:10:47,764 Two Jagerbombs. One Cobb salad. 257 00:10:47,766 --> 00:10:52,135 Hold the onions. (Rafi chuckles) 258 00:10:52,137 --> 00:10:54,470 Dirty Randy's gonna make it rain! 259 00:10:54,472 --> 00:10:56,472 Yeah! (grunting) 260 00:10:56,474 --> 00:10:58,708 Dirty Randy should not be making it rain! 261 00:10:58,710 --> 00:11:00,710 What are you doing? No, no, no. I'm jizzing money! 262 00:11:00,712 --> 00:11:02,545 What? No. It's a money shot! 263 00:11:02,547 --> 00:11:04,380 No, no, no, no! Yeah! 264 00:11:04,382 --> 00:11:06,382 No, Randy, no. No, no. No, Randy... 265 00:11:06,384 --> 00:11:08,217 (grunting) Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 266 00:11:08,219 --> 00:11:10,219 Let me go. Let me go. Yeah, go, go. Get in there. 267 00:11:10,221 --> 00:11:12,055 Get in there. (grunts) 268 00:11:12,057 --> 00:11:14,891 Yeah! Yeah, get it! Yeah. 269 00:11:14,893 --> 00:11:17,527 Oh. Oh, man. I can't believe they have a 270 00:11:17,529 --> 00:11:19,529 pinball machine here. I know. How cool is this, 271 00:11:19,531 --> 00:11:21,364 right? This is awesome! 272 00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:23,700 They're kind of just asking for an Accused typesituation, 273 00:11:23,702 --> 00:11:25,702 though, you know? What's that? 274 00:11:25,704 --> 00:11:28,037 The Accused? The movie? I've never heard of that. 275 00:11:28,039 --> 00:11:30,373 What?! Oh, my God, dude, it's only, like, the greatest 276 00:11:30,375 --> 00:11:33,042 romantic comedy ever made. I love romantic comedies! 277 00:11:33,044 --> 00:11:35,244 It's like Sleepless in Seattle meets The Proposal 278 00:11:35,246 --> 00:11:37,413 meets nonconsensual sex. Who's in it? 279 00:11:37,415 --> 00:11:39,415 Oh, my God, that dude. Um, Jodie Foster. 280 00:11:39,417 --> 00:11:41,884 He's my favorite actor! He's so good in it, too. 281 00:11:41,886 --> 00:11:44,220 He's such a good actor. He was great in Nell. 282 00:11:44,222 --> 00:11:49,692 (speaking gibberish) Hey, it's starting to smell 283 00:11:49,694 --> 00:11:52,195 in here. I think we should have 284 00:11:52,197 --> 00:11:54,931 housekeeping come in and clean Spazz's brains off the ground. 285 00:11:54,933 --> 00:11:57,767 No way, man. I like it. It's like having a little piece 286 00:11:57,769 --> 00:12:00,269 of Spazz with us. Aw. So sentimental. 287 00:12:00,271 --> 00:12:03,039 Whoa! (all shouting) 288 00:12:03,041 --> 00:12:05,041 Rafi? Dirty Randy?! 289 00:12:05,043 --> 00:12:07,410 Cock brothers. Joel and Ethan Cock! 290 00:12:07,412 --> 00:12:09,245 What is going on? Look at you. Look at you. 291 00:12:09,247 --> 00:12:11,247 We haven't seen you guys since we were chased out of 292 00:12:11,249 --> 00:12:13,082 Chicago. Oh, man. 293 00:12:13,084 --> 00:12:15,084 What are you guys doing here in Spazz's room? 294 00:12:15,086 --> 00:12:16,919 Yeah. We're shooting a porn, yeah. 295 00:12:16,921 --> 00:12:18,921 He always let us shoot porns in his room. 296 00:12:18,923 --> 00:12:20,757 That's amazing. He was so generous. 297 00:12:20,759 --> 00:12:22,692 What are you guys doing here? We've been staying in his 298 00:12:22,694 --> 00:12:24,727 room 'cause there's, like, a little piece of him that's still 299 00:12:24,729 --> 00:12:26,562 here with us. Sure, yeah. 300 00:12:26,564 --> 00:12:28,398 You know what I like to think? 301 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,767 That that part of him is the part that remembers me. 302 00:12:30,769 --> 00:12:32,602 Yeah, this bloodstain is awesome. 303 00:12:32,604 --> 00:12:34,604 We just had him bang her on it a little while ago. 304 00:12:34,606 --> 00:12:36,439 Great idea. It's really quite beautiful, 305 00:12:36,441 --> 00:12:38,441 like, as a tribute to him. Kind of a posthumous 306 00:12:38,443 --> 00:12:41,477 three-way for Spazz. Nice. I say we power through 307 00:12:41,479 --> 00:12:43,579 till dawn and then drinks poolside. 308 00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:45,581 I don't want to rush you guys, but if you need two more 309 00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:47,417 dicks... And three more balls. 310 00:12:47,419 --> 00:12:49,252 ...we're happy to jump in on this. 311 00:12:49,860 --> 00:12:52,660 Champagne living and caviar dreams. 312 00:12:52,662 --> 00:12:55,263 I mean, this is California at its best. 313 00:12:55,265 --> 00:12:57,265 I don't want to brag, but at this particular moment, we're 314 00:12:57,267 --> 00:13:00,235 doing everything right. This is the life, boys. 315 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:03,571 Rolling 18 inches deep. Couple of beers, good 316 00:13:03,573 --> 00:13:05,907 friends, bunch of bath salts. Look, we can't forget what 317 00:13:05,909 --> 00:13:07,909 brought us here. Do you guys know who killed 318 00:13:07,911 --> 00:13:10,111 Spazz? Chuck Falcon. 319 00:13:10,113 --> 00:13:13,048 What?! The amazing pornographer Chuck Falcon? 320 00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:15,050 The Falcon himself. Chuck Falcon is, like, the 321 00:13:15,052 --> 00:13:17,419 Steve Jobs of pornography. And like Steve Jobs, he also 322 00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:19,854 murders people. You thinking what I'm 323 00:13:19,856 --> 00:13:21,689 thinking? Pasta night? 324 00:13:21,691 --> 00:13:25,527 No. That we are gonna have to go to... the Falcon's nest. 325 00:13:25,529 --> 00:13:27,529 That was great, actually. Well, it's not gonna be that 326 00:13:27,531 --> 00:13:29,531 easy. I mean, Falcon takes security 327 00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:31,533 really seriously. And this weekend is his 328 00:13:31,535 --> 00:13:35,570 daughter's 11th birthday party. Well, we are gonna easily 329 00:13:35,572 --> 00:13:40,575 make our way in there when we go to... the Falcon's nest. 330 00:13:40,577 --> 00:13:42,577 I've been telling you, I don't know 'cause... 331 00:13:42,579 --> 00:13:44,979 Shut... Dude, don't talk after I say "Falcon's nest," 332 00:13:44,981 --> 00:13:46,881 okay? I want "Falcon's nest" to be the 333 00:13:46,883 --> 00:13:48,716 last thing anyone says. For the rest of the day? 334 00:13:48,718 --> 00:13:50,752 Here. So we're not supposed to talk 335 00:13:50,754 --> 00:13:54,823 after you say it? No. Falcon's nest. 336 00:13:54,825 --> 00:13:56,958 How long does this last for? Oh, my... 337 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,282 Longer than that. That wasn't long enough! 338 00:13:59,402 --> 00:14:00,895 I'm trying to have a moment! 339 00:14:02,568 --> 00:14:04,107 The only way we're gonna get into Falcon's place at this 340 00:14:04,347 --> 00:14:06,563 point is in disguise. I've got an idea. 341 00:14:06,683 --> 00:14:08,583 What? We've got a bunch of porn 342 00:14:08,585 --> 00:14:10,752 wardrobe in our office. Yeah. 343 00:14:10,754 --> 00:14:12,820 Where's your office? Parked right over there. 344 00:14:12,822 --> 00:14:15,089 What? Whoa. God, that's a nice office. 345 00:14:15,091 --> 00:14:16,925 All right, what do you think-- Pretty Woman dress-up 346 00:14:16,927 --> 00:14:19,227 montage? Uh, let's just skip to what 347 00:14:19,229 --> 00:14:22,864 we're gonna ultimately wear. What do we got? 348 00:14:22,866 --> 00:14:24,699 (laughter) That's perfect. 349 00:14:24,701 --> 00:14:26,501 My, oh, my, look at this. Is this what normal people 350 00:14:26,503 --> 00:14:28,336 wear? Who knows? 351 00:14:28,338 --> 00:14:30,171 But it looks good. Really? 352 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,240 I mean, where's the butthole? How do people poop in these? 353 00:14:32,242 --> 00:14:34,042 They don't take their pants off, do they? 354 00:14:34,044 --> 00:14:37,045 Oh, sure. You pull 'em down, poop, and 355 00:14:37,047 --> 00:14:39,247 then, once you're done, you pull 'em back up and fasten it. 356 00:14:39,249 --> 00:14:41,015 You have just complicated the whole ordeal. 357 00:14:41,017 --> 00:14:42,884 So, wait, but then the pants are just in, like, the dirt. 358 00:14:42,886 --> 00:14:44,852 Only if you're pooping in dirt. 359 00:14:44,854 --> 00:14:46,521 Where else would we poop? We're not animals. 360 00:14:46,523 --> 00:14:49,057 Yeah. What porno is this even from? 361 00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:51,292 Gay Dads 8. Whoa, gay dads-- that's a 362 00:14:51,294 --> 00:14:53,127 perfect cover for us. That's what we're doing. 363 00:14:53,129 --> 00:14:54,963 Gay dads. Yep. 364 00:14:54,965 --> 00:14:56,965 Now we just need an 11-year- old girl to get us into the 365 00:14:56,967 --> 00:15:01,936 party. I've already made a call. 366 00:15:01,938 --> 00:15:06,407 This is totally gonna work. This plan is flawless. 367 00:15:06,409 --> 00:15:08,643 I'm not gonna have to blow anybody at this party, am I? 368 00:15:08,645 --> 00:15:10,778 Come on. Candy, we've been over this. 369 00:15:10,780 --> 00:15:13,147 You're not a stripper today; you're our 11-year-old daughter. 370 00:15:13,149 --> 00:15:15,483 The only people you can blow at this party are other 11-year- 371 00:15:15,485 --> 00:15:17,385 olds. Or else it's illegal. 372 00:15:17,387 --> 00:15:19,621 Yeah. All right, here we are. 373 00:15:19,623 --> 00:15:21,556 Yes. At a kid's birthday party 374 00:15:21,558 --> 00:15:23,291 where we belong. Happy birthday to all of you. 375 00:15:23,293 --> 00:15:25,226 Oh, look, some girls your age, Candy. 376 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,261 Yeah. Why don't you play with these 377 00:15:27,263 --> 00:15:29,664 girls? Okay, Big Daddy, you know, 378 00:15:29,666 --> 00:15:32,166 have fun. Okay, I will. 379 00:15:32,168 --> 00:15:34,168 Wow, walk over here. We'll go socialize. 380 00:15:34,170 --> 00:15:36,504 Okay. Just like people who were 381 00:15:36,506 --> 00:15:38,506 definitely invited to this party. 382 00:15:38,508 --> 00:15:40,308 Happy birthday. I love you, husband. 383 00:15:40,310 --> 00:15:43,344 As do I you, husband. Thank you, this is so great. 384 00:15:43,346 --> 00:15:47,281 We are totally fitting in here. Everybody believes it. 385 00:15:47,283 --> 00:15:49,250 Dude, we are killing this. You got your gun? 386 00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:50,918 Yes, I've got my gun. Do you have your gun? 387 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:53,087 Of course I do. Let's find this piece of shit 388 00:15:53,089 --> 00:15:56,758 and whack him. Just walking over here. 389 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,760 Happy birthday, sir. Happy birthday, ma'am. 390 00:15:58,762 --> 00:16:01,129 Come on, work it like you're really angry, come on. 391 00:16:01,131 --> 00:16:03,498 I got to say, your daughter Alison and our daughter Candy 392 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,333 are getting along so well. (Rafi sighs) 393 00:16:05,335 --> 00:16:07,969 Quick question: does your daughter have a valid passport? 394 00:16:07,971 --> 00:16:10,705 'Cause we're bringing Candy to Bangkok in a couple weeks for a 395 00:16:10,707 --> 00:16:12,707 "holiday." You know, it'd be really great 396 00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:15,810 if she had a friend to smoke with and cry to. 397 00:16:15,812 --> 00:16:18,346 Exactly. Yeah, marriage is the weirdest. 398 00:16:18,348 --> 00:16:20,314 It's so tough. Now that we're married, we 399 00:16:20,316 --> 00:16:22,050 barely find time to have violent sex with each other. 400 00:16:22,052 --> 00:16:23,718 Sometimes we just start having sex. 401 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,820 I'm like, "Punch me in the face first. 402 00:16:25,822 --> 00:16:27,722 Jesus." We are killing this. 403 00:16:27,724 --> 00:16:30,324 On fire right now. On fire, man. 404 00:16:30,326 --> 00:16:32,160 Party's over. Nice line. 405 00:16:32,162 --> 00:16:34,062 That was a good line. Okay, okay. 406 00:16:34,064 --> 00:16:35,897 Come on, no. Okay. 407 00:16:35,899 --> 00:16:38,299 Get off of me, man. These are the two idiots we 408 00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,535 were telling you about. Yeah. 409 00:16:40,537 --> 00:16:42,537 Dick. I'm Chuck Falcon. 410 00:16:42,539 --> 00:16:46,307 Want to explain why you're here? First off, huge fan. 411 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,142 Huge fans. Mind blown. 412 00:16:48,144 --> 00:16:49,977 Let me ask you another question. 413 00:16:49,979 --> 00:16:51,879 What are you doing on my premises? 414 00:16:51,881 --> 00:16:53,548 Oh, okay, our bad. Oh, okay, yeah, sorry, no 415 00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:55,416 problem. We're here to murder you. 416 00:16:55,418 --> 00:16:57,719 We're-- no, you know, that's a, that's a bad way to put it. 417 00:16:57,721 --> 00:16:59,854 We're here to avenge a friend's death. 418 00:16:59,856 --> 00:17:01,689 Spazz. Spazz, who you know. 419 00:17:01,691 --> 00:17:03,591 You killed. And in doing so it will mean 420 00:17:03,593 --> 00:17:05,693 that your life will come to an end. 421 00:17:05,695 --> 00:17:09,197 Yes. You're not gonna kill me 422 00:17:09,199 --> 00:17:11,599 'cause I'm gonna make your dreams come true. 423 00:17:11,601 --> 00:17:14,168 I've seen your stuff. Wait, you haven't. 424 00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:15,837 What, Toe-Bangers 3? What? What? 425 00:17:15,839 --> 00:17:17,672 What? Come on. 426 00:17:17,674 --> 00:17:19,407 Listen to me. Amateur porn is all the rage 427 00:17:19,409 --> 00:17:22,009 right now. It's so hard for professionals 428 00:17:22,011 --> 00:17:24,245 to make amateur porn look really amateur. 429 00:17:24,247 --> 00:17:26,414 Oh, we're great at that. Yeah, I mean, I mean, that's 430 00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:28,349 what we are-- amateurs. Yeah, I make all the sex 431 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,618 sounds with my mouth afterwards. (makes fart sound) 432 00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,587 Squish. The stuff you shoot makes 433 00:17:32,589 --> 00:17:34,355 people say, "I feel slightly dumber for having masturbated to 434 00:17:34,357 --> 00:17:36,557 that." Oh, my God, do you mind if we 435 00:17:36,559 --> 00:17:38,593 put that as a blurb on the back of the DVD? 436 00:17:38,595 --> 00:17:40,294 I'm gonna offer you an exclusive deal with Falcon 437 00:17:40,296 --> 00:17:42,396 Entertainment. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, 438 00:17:42,398 --> 00:17:44,432 my God, it's happening, it's happening. 439 00:17:44,434 --> 00:17:46,200 This is ha-- it's happening. I'm just like... 440 00:17:46,202 --> 00:17:48,202 We can't forget why we're here. 441 00:17:48,204 --> 00:17:49,904 This is like... We can't forget Spazz. 442 00:17:49,906 --> 00:17:51,739 You killed our friend, man. Yeah. 443 00:17:51,741 --> 00:17:53,574 He was stealing from us. Aw. 444 00:17:53,576 --> 00:17:55,710 What? So, what do you think? 445 00:17:55,712 --> 00:17:57,578 I mean, I don't know... Spazz was kind of the worst. 446 00:17:57,580 --> 00:17:59,247 He was the worst, right? The worst. 447 00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:01,449 I mean, that's Chuck Falcon. It's Chuck Falcon offering us 448 00:18:01,451 --> 00:18:03,317 a deal. Are you thinking what I'm 449 00:18:03,319 --> 00:18:08,456 thinking? I kind of think I am. 450 00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:13,227 Where do I sign? What, why?! 451 00:18:13,229 --> 00:18:15,096 What, what? We were gonna sign an 452 00:18:15,098 --> 00:18:17,064 exclusive contract! No, no. 453 00:18:17,066 --> 00:18:20,434 You can't shoot him! We have not been on the same 454 00:18:20,436 --> 00:18:22,904 page this trip, man. At all. 455 00:18:22,906 --> 00:18:26,741 (both laugh) Gilligan's Assland, take one. 456 00:18:26,743 --> 00:18:28,810 Ready and action. Action. 457 00:18:28,812 --> 00:18:30,611 That is great. Oh, Marianne, you're doing 458 00:18:30,613 --> 00:18:32,446 great. Craft service! 459 00:18:32,448 --> 00:18:34,248 Come on, Boris, get over here. Yes, sir, Master Prince of 460 00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,117 Porn. Yes, good. 461 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:37,852 You killed the guy. You didn't pay him, right? 462 00:18:37,854 --> 00:18:39,854 Myself. Good. 463 00:18:39,856 --> 00:18:41,522 Don't look at me. Feed me. 464 00:18:41,524 --> 00:18:44,458 All right, ooh. There you go, Rafi. 465 00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:46,460 (Rafi sniffs, grunts) Candy, no! 466 00:18:46,462 --> 00:18:48,129 What are you doing?! No! Jesus, guys. 467 00:18:48,131 --> 00:18:49,864 Get away from the drugs! Guys, on a positive note, I 468 00:18:49,866 --> 00:18:51,532 feel like we probably got everything we need from this 469 00:18:51,534 --> 00:18:53,367 angle. We can move on. 470 00:18:53,369 --> 00:18:55,269 I don't like it anymore. Cut. No, action. 471 00:18:55,271 --> 00:18:57,104 No, cut! Action! 472 00:18:57,106 --> 00:18:59,106 Cut! Action! 473 00:18:59,108 --> 00:19:01,108 Cut! Action! 474 00:19:01,110 --> 00:19:02,944 No action! Yes action! 475 00:19:02,946 --> 00:19:04,779 No, no! Action! 476 00:19:04,781 --> 00:19:06,447 I said, "Action!" I said, "Cut!" 477 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,282 Should we cut? Yes! 478 00:19:08,284 --> 00:19:10,551 No! (both screaming) 479 00:19:10,553 --> 00:19:13,621 I'm carrying you like a baby. I have strapped you to my 480 00:19:13,623 --> 00:19:18,392 back in a papoose like I'm an Indian woman on the plains 481 00:19:18,394 --> 00:19:21,896 fleeing for my life against the British invaders! 482 00:19:21,898 --> 00:19:24,832 This ends today! Oh, it's got to end! 483 00:19:24,834 --> 00:19:26,734 You thinking what I'm thinking? 484 00:19:26,736 --> 00:19:28,736 BOTH: Duel. Whoa. 485 00:19:28,738 --> 00:19:30,671 That was-- we're-- that-- we're really on the same page 486 00:19:30,673 --> 00:19:32,340 right now. Same page. 487 00:19:32,342 --> 00:19:34,542 Here are the rules of the duel. 488 00:19:34,544 --> 00:19:38,179 Ten paces, then start shooting. You ready? 489 00:19:38,181 --> 00:19:40,181 BOTH: Ready. Go. 490 00:19:40,183 --> 00:19:46,254 BOTH: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 491 00:19:46,256 --> 00:19:51,826 ten. (both screaming) 492 00:19:51,828 --> 00:19:55,162 (panting) 493 00:19:55,164 --> 00:20:01,936 Oh, no. (both grunting) 494 00:20:01,938 --> 00:20:06,515 High five? God. 495 00:20:06,635 --> 00:20:11,071 Yeah! Yeah, let's do it again! 496 00:20:11,073 --> 00:20:14,207 No, he's dead. Oh. 497 00:20:14,209 --> 00:20:17,844 Oh, Rafi. None of you saw shit! 498 00:20:17,846 --> 00:20:20,146 He killed himself! He shot himself while you 499 00:20:20,148 --> 00:20:21,915 were shooting at him? Yeah, but that's our cover 500 00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:25,151 story! Get up, you big idiot, get up. 501 00:20:30,268 --> 00:20:32,292 Brian, it's Rafi. 502 00:20:32,412 --> 00:20:33,682 If you're watching this, 503 00:20:34,674 --> 00:20:35,514 I'm dead. 504 00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,951 Come to Los Angeles and avenge my death. 505 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:40,265 Brian, do not let me down in this, 506 00:20:40,385 --> 00:20:42,687 or I swear to God, I will haunt you 507 00:20:42,807 --> 00:20:43,612 every night... 508 00:20:43,732 --> 00:20:53,908 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 509 00:20:53,958 --> 00:20:58,508 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 44211

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