Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,099 --> 00:00:03,932
CARTER: Ok, Stuart,
new ground rule.
2
00:00:03,999 --> 00:00:06,032
From now on, whenever
I have friends over,
3
00:00:06,099 --> 00:00:07,965
you cannot bring
a girl home.
4
00:00:08,033 --> 00:00:09,965
Give me a break.
It was a first date.
5
00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:11,798
I was feeling
uncomfortable, too.
6
00:00:11,866 --> 00:00:15,532
Of course, you were.
She rode you in on all fours.
7
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,598
That was my fault.
8
00:00:17,666 --> 00:00:20,032
I had been very naughty.
9
00:00:21,333 --> 00:00:22,932
Do you guys mind?
10
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,198
It's been a lifelong dream
of mine to do real writing.
11
00:00:25,266 --> 00:00:27,632
I've finally been
commissioned to do a piece
12
00:00:27,699 --> 00:00:29,565
for a respected
national magazine.
13
00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:32,265
Oh, really? The new yorker?
Vanity fair?
14
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:33,965
Sassy.
15
00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:37,198
The article
was due yesterday,
16
00:00:37,266 --> 00:00:39,499
so if I could get some peace
and quiet, gentlemen.
17
00:00:39,566 --> 00:00:42,032
(STUART AND CARTER
MUTTERING MOCKINGLY)
18
00:00:43,666 --> 00:00:45,798
Can't believe you'd
hassle me over a date.
19
00:00:45,866 --> 00:00:49,198
You don't see me complaining that dog
chewed up my bedpost last night.
20
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:51,832
Stuart, rags spent
the night in the vet.
21
00:00:51,899 --> 00:00:55,399
I've gotta call
that girl back.
22
00:00:55,466 --> 00:00:58,365
She-e-e-e's sassy!
23
00:01:27,232 --> 00:01:28,264
Sorry I'm late.
24
00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:29,999
Sir, you've got
a full day ahead of ya.
25
00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:32,298
We start with a budget
meeting from 9:00 to 10:45,
26
00:01:32,365 --> 00:01:35,164
rocket into a symposium
on air quality management,
27
00:01:35,232 --> 00:01:38,966
and when you think you can't
take any more excitement, bam!
28
00:01:40,432 --> 00:01:42,465
4 more hours
of budget meetings.
29
00:01:44,499 --> 00:01:46,999
Did I tell you guys
that my grandfather died?
30
00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:48,331
Last night?
31
00:01:48,399 --> 00:01:49,965
30 years ago.
32
00:01:51,967 --> 00:01:53,899
But it got me thinking.
33
00:01:53,967 --> 00:01:56,364
So much of our lives
are spent focused on work.
34
00:01:56,432 --> 00:02:00,599
We never stop and connect with the
people who are truly important to us.
35
00:02:00,666 --> 00:02:01,798
Your dad's on the phone.
36
00:02:01,866 --> 00:02:03,765
I'm not here.
37
00:02:05,432 --> 00:02:08,198
Let's take a minute and
let's talk about our...
38
00:02:08,266 --> 00:02:10,831
Personal lives.
39
00:02:10,899 --> 00:02:13,665
Paul! Get us started.
40
00:02:16,732 --> 00:02:19,632
I have non-motile sperm.
41
00:02:24,266 --> 00:02:28,198
Oh, God. T-minus 30 seconds
to tour guide Doug.
42
00:02:28,266 --> 00:02:31,598
Carter, act like
my boyfriend.
43
00:02:31,666 --> 00:02:33,532
Oh, sorry.
I don't have time
44
00:02:33,599 --> 00:02:36,198
to buy a camaro and
alienate your parents.
45
00:02:36,266 --> 00:02:39,198
Coming up on our right
is the highlight of our tour.
46
00:02:39,266 --> 00:02:41,132
The pride of city hall.
47
00:02:41,199 --> 00:02:44,998
Ms. Stacey paterno.
48
00:02:45,066 --> 00:02:47,598
She's beautiful.
49
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:48,831
Doug, you're annoying
50
00:02:48,899 --> 00:02:52,032
and the sight of you
makes my stomach turn.
51
00:02:52,099 --> 00:02:53,698
Hi, everyone.
52
00:02:55,266 --> 00:02:57,898
Doug, this is
my boyfriend.
53
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,898
(AHEM) Yeah,
and you, uh...
54
00:03:00,966 --> 00:03:04,398
(IN LOUD VOICE) Better not
be eyeballin' my woman!
55
00:03:06,033 --> 00:03:07,699
People, this is
Carter Heywood.
56
00:03:07,766 --> 00:03:10,298
He's an avowed homosexual.
57
00:03:10,366 --> 00:03:13,398
Shame on you for
trying to fool Doug.
58
00:03:14,399 --> 00:03:15,565
Shame.
59
00:03:17,466 --> 00:03:18,832
And we're movin'.
60
00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:23,265
So, are we...
(AHEM)
61
00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,099
Still on for tonight?
62
00:03:25,166 --> 00:03:27,265
Yeah. Who leaves first?
63
00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:29,665
I will.
On my way out,
64
00:03:29,733 --> 00:03:32,765
I'll drop a stack of
contracts off on your desk.
65
00:03:32,833 --> 00:03:36,265
Ok. Then you want me to act annoyed
and leave 10 minutes later?
66
00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:37,965
Oh, no.
Finish the contracts.
67
00:03:38,033 --> 00:03:39,832
I'll swing by
your house later.
68
00:03:41,266 --> 00:03:42,832
Hey, listen, Mike.
69
00:03:42,899 --> 00:03:45,832
Ever since we opened up to each
other in the mayor's office,
70
00:03:45,899 --> 00:03:48,765
I think we've taken our
friendship to a whole new level.
71
00:03:48,833 --> 00:03:51,532
Me, too, Paul. Now you
wanna get out of my way?
72
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,265
Anyway, listen. Things are
a little tense at home.
73
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:57,199
I just can't seem
to get Claudia pregnant.
74
00:03:57,266 --> 00:03:58,898
Every night,
night after night,
75
00:03:58,966 --> 00:04:00,898
she's on my back,
riding me.
76
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:07,731
I think I've zeroed in
on your problem.
77
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,531
You know what it is?
It's those damn lazy sperm.
78
00:04:10,599 --> 00:04:12,464
They're just lousy swimmers.
79
00:04:12,532 --> 00:04:16,364
Maybe they'll pick up
points in the high dive.
80
00:04:16,432 --> 00:04:20,899
And you can't believe the tests the
doctors gave me. The probing... ooh.
81
00:04:20,966 --> 00:04:23,166
You barrel ahead
with the personal stuff...
82
00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:25,932
they figured out
it was my testicles.
83
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,298
Stacey? Code red.
84
00:04:29,365 --> 00:04:30,732
Paul, get out.
85
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,032
I appreciate you letting me
work in your office, sir.
86
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:38,199
You have no idea how hard it is
to get any work done out there.
87
00:04:38,267 --> 00:04:39,865
I totally empathize.
88
00:04:39,933 --> 00:04:42,765
Sometimes I can't believe how
little I get done in here.
89
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:48,598
(CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK)
90
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,731
I'm sorry.
91
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,798
You know...
92
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:07,166
No one ever just
drops by to chat.
93
00:05:07,234 --> 00:05:10,365
You seem like you're
a pretty good listener.
94
00:05:10,432 --> 00:05:13,299
Yeah, I think I'm
a pretty good-looking kid.
95
00:05:16,234 --> 00:05:19,199
I'm sorry, sir, I would love to talk.
It's just that I'm so busy.
96
00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:21,132
It's nice to have
some peace and quiet.
97
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:22,665
Peace and quiet.
98
00:05:25,699 --> 00:05:26,899
Silence.
99
00:05:33,699 --> 00:05:35,199
(IN LOUD VOICE)
Silencio!
100
00:05:43,699 --> 00:05:45,932
(CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK)
101
00:05:48,699 --> 00:05:50,631
Hey, Mike,
can I hire an intern?
102
00:05:50,699 --> 00:05:51,698
No.
103
00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:52,999
Come on, Mike.
I'm swamped.
104
00:05:53,067 --> 00:05:54,266
How old is she?
105
00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:56,899
18, but you'd swear she's 25.
106
00:05:56,967 --> 00:05:58,598
No again.
107
00:05:59,699 --> 00:06:01,765
Mike, can I
come in late tomorrow?
108
00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:03,632
I have to testify
in a hit-and-run case.
109
00:06:03,699 --> 00:06:05,032
No.
110
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,032
No problem. I mean,
he's a friend of mine,
111
00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:09,032
but he's out of the coma.
112
00:06:11,266 --> 00:06:13,932
Do you even remember the
last time you said yes?
113
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,832
I think this job might be
making you a cold person.
114
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:17,799
That's not true.
115
00:06:17,866 --> 00:06:19,399
Uh-huh.
And what happened
116
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,565
when someone asked you
for a few dollars yesterday?
117
00:06:21,633 --> 00:06:23,965
I said no and told
him to get a job.
118
00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:26,299
Mike, he was 8.
119
00:06:26,366 --> 00:06:30,232
(SARCASTICALLY) Selling candy
bars for his marching band.
120
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:33,198
What was I,
born yesterday?
121
00:06:33,266 --> 00:06:35,165
Do you wanna be
the kind of guy
122
00:06:35,233 --> 00:06:38,932
who automatically says no to people,
no matter what the question?
123
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,032
Mike, quick favor.
124
00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:42,132
Can I use your sperm
to impregnate my wife?
125
00:06:42,199 --> 00:06:43,565
Yes!
126
00:06:45,266 --> 00:06:47,165
Great. Thanks, buddy.
127
00:06:49,366 --> 00:06:50,865
What did he say?
128
00:06:52,566 --> 00:06:54,698
This is Stacey paterno.
129
00:06:54,766 --> 00:06:56,132
(SIGHS)
130
00:06:56,199 --> 00:06:58,032
Doug, get over here.
131
00:06:58,099 --> 00:07:00,665
Ladies and gentlemen,
if you look closely,
132
00:07:00,733 --> 00:07:02,665
you can see
Doug's elation.
133
00:07:06,566 --> 00:07:09,399
Doug, I want
off the tour.
134
00:07:09,467 --> 00:07:11,799
Look, I understand what
you're trying to do here,
135
00:07:11,867 --> 00:07:14,699
but you and I? We're
just not gonna happen.
136
00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:16,732
See, we're
very different.
137
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:18,665
I'm a simple girl
from Brooklyn
138
00:07:18,733 --> 00:07:21,565
who enjoys spending time
with her family and friends.
139
00:07:21,633 --> 00:07:24,366
And you're
an irritating freak.
140
00:07:26,566 --> 00:07:28,332
Ok...
141
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,499
Well, let's continue
this way, folks,
142
00:07:30,566 --> 00:07:32,065
and, uh...
143
00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:37,632
Try not to trample on Doug's
broken heart as we walk out.
144
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:39,665
Why, hello there,
citizens.
145
00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:41,665
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the mayor.
146
00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:42,665
And we're movin'.
147
00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:52,466
Look, Mike. I already
got the little guy
148
00:07:52,533 --> 00:07:54,699
his first
baseball glove.
149
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:57,565
I hope he's a lefty.
They were on sale.
150
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:05,665
Uh, listen. There's something
I... I have to tell you guys.
151
00:08:05,732 --> 00:08:07,565
And it's
a little difficult,
152
00:08:07,632 --> 00:08:10,965
so I'm just gonna
come out and say it.
153
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,432
Take it away, Nik.
154
00:08:13,499 --> 00:08:15,165
Uh, look, guys.
155
00:08:15,232 --> 00:08:18,765
Mike just doesn't want to
bring a child into this world
156
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,498
without being involved
in his life.
157
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:24,865
Mike, you can be involved
as much as you want.
158
00:08:24,933 --> 00:08:27,932
To tell you the truth, with
your fear of commitment,
159
00:08:27,999 --> 00:08:31,466
we thought this would be a
perfect opportunity for you
160
00:08:31,534 --> 00:08:32,865
to be part of a family.
161
00:08:32,933 --> 00:08:34,865
I... I don't know about that.
162
00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:36,998
I mean, I'm in
a relationship right now.
163
00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:39,932
Oh, yeah, like
that's gonna work out.
164
00:08:39,999 --> 00:08:42,932
Ok, can I talk to
you guys for a second?
165
00:08:42,999 --> 00:08:45,565
I think I need to explain
this a little more clearly.
166
00:08:51,499 --> 00:08:52,898
Who are you?
167
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,898
Don't you see
the resemblance?
168
00:08:54,966 --> 00:08:58,831
The winning smile?
The bedroom eyes?
169
00:08:58,899 --> 00:09:00,765
You're my kid!
170
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,132
Not bad, huh?
171
00:09:02,199 --> 00:09:04,398
Wh-what are you
doing here?
172
00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:06,265
I just came
to say thanks.
173
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:08,432
Without you,
I don't exist.
174
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:11,365
(CHUCKLES)
175
00:09:11,433 --> 00:09:13,765
You don't exist.
176
00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:16,132
Work with me here, pal.
177
00:09:17,633 --> 00:09:21,065
You're doing a great,
selfless thing.
178
00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:22,332
I am, aren't I?
179
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,865
So, you see,
180
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:31,198
Mike just wants to wait
and do this with someone
181
00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,232
he's really
in love with.
182
00:09:33,299 --> 00:09:34,232
Right, Mike?
183
00:09:34,299 --> 00:09:35,765
Claudia...
184
00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:37,198
I'm in.
185
00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:40,065
Let's make a baby.
186
00:09:40,133 --> 00:09:41,065
What?
187
00:09:41,133 --> 00:09:43,232
Oh, my God,
Mike!
188
00:09:43,299 --> 00:09:47,532
Mike, I can't tell you how proud
I am that you're having my baby.
189
00:09:57,633 --> 00:09:59,832
Nikki, talk to me,
ok? What's wrong?
190
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:03,398
Oh, my boyfriend is impregnating
another man's wife.
191
00:10:03,466 --> 00:10:06,332
So, other than that,
nothing's bothering you?
192
00:10:06,399 --> 00:10:09,332
Do you know how awkward
this is going to be for me
193
00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:11,365
when people find out
about this?
194
00:10:11,433 --> 00:10:13,332
Nikki, listen to me.
195
00:10:13,399 --> 00:10:15,332
You are the only one
I care enough about
196
00:10:15,399 --> 00:10:17,265
to have shared this
information with.
197
00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:19,398
That's deputy mayor
Mike Flaherty.
198
00:10:19,466 --> 00:10:23,032
He's donating his sperm to
press secretary Paul lassiter.
199
00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:27,132
Nikki... Nikki!
200
00:10:27,199 --> 00:10:30,265
And now, for the highlight
of today's tour.
201
00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:33,632
Oh, great.
Here we go again?
202
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:36,798
Why do I have
to be so hot?
203
00:10:36,866 --> 00:10:38,665
This...
204
00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:41,665
Is janelle Cooper.
205
00:10:41,733 --> 00:10:44,198
She was born April 23,
a Taurus.
206
00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:46,565
Sign of the fox.
207
00:10:46,633 --> 00:10:48,398
(SOFTLY) Grrr.
208
00:10:51,066 --> 00:10:53,398
Janelle. You put
janelle on the tour.
209
00:10:54,699 --> 00:10:56,198
Nothing to see here.
210
00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:58,832
And we're moving.
211
00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:00,932
Well, good!
I'm glad!
212
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,899
I'm glad I'm off
your stupid tour!
213
00:11:03,966 --> 00:11:06,331
Wow. People
complimenting you,
214
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,865
taking your picture,
215
00:11:07,933 --> 00:11:09,965
telling you
you're beautiful.
216
00:11:10,033 --> 00:11:12,999
Even on days when you're
feeling ugly and tired,
217
00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:16,431
people come by and make you
feel all good about yourself.
218
00:11:16,499 --> 00:11:18,331
They're sick bastards.
219
00:11:21,733 --> 00:11:22,832
And we're moving...
220
00:11:27,299 --> 00:11:29,832
Come on, Doug. I'm the
mayor, for God's sake.
221
00:11:37,167 --> 00:11:39,631
Nikki? Could you come
in here for a sec?
222
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,665
Actually, Mr. Flaherty, I'm a
bit busy here, doing some work.
223
00:11:42,733 --> 00:11:44,231
This is work-related.
224
00:11:44,299 --> 00:11:46,364
We're discussing
fund-raising schedules.
225
00:11:46,432 --> 00:11:47,765
Fine.
226
00:11:49,933 --> 00:11:51,832
However,
before we do that,
227
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:54,498
I'd just like to take one
moment to, uh, talk about...
228
00:11:54,566 --> 00:11:56,999
My sperm.
229
00:11:57,067 --> 00:12:01,465
How many conversations
have I started that way?
230
00:12:01,532 --> 00:12:02,398
I'm leaving.
231
00:12:02,466 --> 00:12:04,698
N-Nikki, look.
Everyone...
232
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:07,832
This is great. I mean, I get all
the benefits of having a kid,
233
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,498
with none of the drawbacks.
234
00:12:09,566 --> 00:12:11,799
Don't you guys think that
what Mike is doing is wrong?
235
00:12:11,867 --> 00:12:13,932
Actually, I'm with
Mike on this one.
236
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,133
Someday, I'm gonna
want to have a child,
237
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,698
and I'm gonna
need some help.
238
00:12:17,767 --> 00:12:19,799
I'm gonna need an egg,
a uterus, a womb...
239
00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:22,799
Well, a woman.
240
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,199
I can't believe you
would be so insensitive
241
00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,698
as to reduce a woman
to her body parts...
242
00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:29,799
And not even mention
the yabbos.
243
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:34,365
Wait a minute, Carter. You're
taking Mike's side on this?
244
00:12:34,432 --> 00:12:37,799
Leave him alone, Nikki. It's not like
Mike has a girlfriend or anything.
245
00:12:37,867 --> 00:12:40,899
Sure, he might have
some floozy on the side
246
00:12:40,967 --> 00:12:43,265
who he's too embarrassed
to tell anyone about,
247
00:12:43,332 --> 00:12:46,298
but, hey, she's probably
too dumb to care.
248
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,099
Ya finished?
249
00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,431
Actually, sir...
250
00:12:58,499 --> 00:12:59,932
great.
Time for a break.
251
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,732
Maybe in
a little while, sir.
252
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,565
I hear ya.
253
00:13:03,633 --> 00:13:05,465
I've got something
to do, anyway.
254
00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:07,199
Oh, sir, that's fantastic.
255
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:16,199
TV AUDIENCE:
Wheel... Of... Fortune!
256
00:13:16,266 --> 00:13:18,632
Oh, it's a thing.
257
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,265
Um, pencil.
258
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,332
Uh... Licorice.
259
00:13:23,399 --> 00:13:25,265
Soy sauce.
260
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:27,799
Sir, they haven't
turned any letters yet.
261
00:13:27,866 --> 00:13:30,765
I know. It's harder
this way.
262
00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:32,498
Maybe I should work
someplace else.
263
00:13:32,566 --> 00:13:35,432
No... no... no, James,
I insist, I insist.
264
00:13:35,499 --> 00:13:37,732
Let's be
workin' buddies.
265
00:13:40,433 --> 00:13:43,699
I've gotta go over this
budget report, anyway.
266
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,699
(EXHALES)
267
00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:50,365
"Roads...
268
00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:52,098
4 million."
269
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,632
Yikes.
270
00:14:04,633 --> 00:14:08,399
TV: I'd like to solve the puzzle, pat.
Is it... Soy sauce?
271
00:14:08,466 --> 00:14:11,465
(DING DING DING DING)
272
00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:13,499
Who's your daddy?
273
00:14:17,966 --> 00:14:20,832
Paul, I can't believe
you're just letting this happen.
274
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,332
I'm uncomfortable,
but what choice do I have?
275
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,732
I'm glad you said that.
It doesn't have to be Mike.
276
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,632
Well, it's not
that it's Mike.
277
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,632
I'd be uncomfortable with
any man sleeping with my wife.
278
00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:33,599
"Sleeping with your wife"?
279
00:14:33,666 --> 00:14:35,766
He's picking her up and
driving her to the clinic.
280
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,899
No, no. Claudia and I
discussed this.
281
00:14:37,966 --> 00:14:40,532
We can't afford that.
They're just gonna do it.
282
00:14:44,066 --> 00:14:45,065
What?
283
00:14:45,133 --> 00:14:46,799
Oh, yeah.
284
00:14:46,867 --> 00:14:49,432
Oh, this in vitro thing,
it's like 9,000 bucks a pop.
285
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:51,065
And there's
no guarantees.
286
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:52,499
This way,
if it doesn't work,
287
00:14:52,566 --> 00:14:57,132
I'm only out 12 bucks for a
candle and a bottle of rum.
288
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,599
You're pimping out
your wife to save money?
289
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,966
$9,000!
290
00:15:03,033 --> 00:15:05,832
Look, this isn't
some rash decision.
291
00:15:05,899 --> 00:15:08,299
We've consulted
all the experts.
292
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,966
We've done
exhaustive research,
293
00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:11,832
we've discussed every detail.
294
00:15:11,899 --> 00:15:14,498
Believe me,
we got it covered.
295
00:15:14,566 --> 00:15:16,865
And Mike agreed
to sleep with Claudia?
296
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,066
I forgot to tell Mike.
297
00:15:21,732 --> 00:15:23,631
Hey.
Hey.
298
00:15:23,699 --> 00:15:26,199
Well, let's do this.
299
00:15:26,267 --> 00:15:29,498
Oh, Mike, do you mind if we sit
for a second and just talk?
300
00:15:29,566 --> 00:15:32,066
Yeah, sure.
301
00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:35,199
I'm really not
comfortable with...
302
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,999
How we're supposed
to do this.
303
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:38,066
Rum?
304
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:42,631
Thanks.
305
00:15:42,699 --> 00:15:45,932
Listen, Claudia,
the way I look at this,
306
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:49,932
we're just two people coming
together to create a life.
307
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,731
Oh, that's so beautiful.
308
00:15:52,799 --> 00:15:57,066
And don't worry. I... I'm a little
nervous about this myself.
309
00:15:57,133 --> 00:15:59,366
I mean, I've...
I've never done this before.
310
00:15:59,434 --> 00:16:01,865
Really? Ha ha.
311
00:16:01,933 --> 00:16:03,465
The way you
strut around,
312
00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:06,265
I never would
have guessed.
313
00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:09,665
But I... I've been checking out
the Internet, you know.
314
00:16:09,733 --> 00:16:12,399
And, uh, I think I got
a pretty good idea
315
00:16:12,466 --> 00:16:14,598
how this is supposed to go.
316
00:16:16,666 --> 00:16:18,798
Oh, dear.
317
00:16:18,866 --> 00:16:22,198
And, Claudia,
the more I learn,
318
00:16:22,266 --> 00:16:26,265
the more excited I am about
doing it with you and Paul.
319
00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:30,399
Oh, Paul won't
be joining us.
320
00:16:30,466 --> 00:16:31,499
Oh, bummer.
321
00:16:34,433 --> 00:16:35,932
You know, 'cause...
322
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,465
Did he leave directions?
323
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:42,999
Because without him, I don't
know how to get down there.
324
00:16:53,599 --> 00:16:57,565
What exactly are you
expecting me to do here?
325
00:16:57,633 --> 00:16:58,899
Oh, pffft,
326
00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:00,765
you don't
have to do anything.
327
00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:03,364
I mean, I'm going to be
doing all the work.
328
00:17:03,432 --> 00:17:05,364
You just... you just
gotta, you know,
329
00:17:05,432 --> 00:17:07,531
sit back and wait
for me to finish.
330
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,599
Funny. I mean,
I just assumed
331
00:17:09,666 --> 00:17:12,331
I'd be participating
just a little.
332
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,932
Oh, no, Claudia. All I
need is a dirty magazine
333
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,899
and I'm ready
to rock and roll.
334
00:17:18,365 --> 00:17:21,331
And the next stop
on our tour is...
335
00:17:21,399 --> 00:17:23,799
Hey, Doug.
336
00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:29,699
JANELLE: Hey, Doug.
337
00:17:29,766 --> 00:17:33,765
Why don't you bring all those
nice people down here?
338
00:17:33,833 --> 00:17:36,131
Doug, come this way.
339
00:17:36,199 --> 00:17:37,966
You know you want to.
340
00:17:38,033 --> 00:17:40,665
No, Doug. Come here.
341
00:17:40,733 --> 00:17:43,966
Doug, come on.
342
00:17:44,033 --> 00:17:45,732
It seems Stacey and janelle
343
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,632
are a bit too needy
for Doug.
344
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:53,531
Fortunately, Doug has recently
made a lifestyle choice.
345
00:17:53,599 --> 00:17:57,198
On your left is the office
of Mr. Carter Heywood.
346
00:18:01,366 --> 00:18:02,765
Isn't he delicious?
347
00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:06,665
Doug thinks
Carter's all that
348
00:18:06,732 --> 00:18:08,865
and a bag of chips.
349
00:18:12,666 --> 00:18:15,965
I can't believe
Paul didn't tell you.
350
00:18:16,033 --> 00:18:19,865
I can't believe he wanted
me to have sex with you.
351
00:18:22,799 --> 00:18:26,765
Men have survived
the experience.
352
00:18:26,832 --> 00:18:28,865
Claudia, I didn't mean that.
No. Listen.
353
00:18:28,932 --> 00:18:32,298
If I was ever gonna have sex
with another man's wife,
354
00:18:32,366 --> 00:18:35,032
it would
definitely be you.
355
00:18:35,099 --> 00:18:37,865
Or Jeff lyles' wife.
356
00:18:37,932 --> 00:18:39,698
I mean, she's like...
357
00:18:39,766 --> 00:18:44,998
I... I spent a weekend with her in the
Hamptons last summer, and, oh, my God!
358
00:18:45,066 --> 00:18:46,231
Mike...
359
00:18:46,299 --> 00:18:47,798
She's swedish.
360
00:18:49,366 --> 00:18:51,798
Oh, this is so ridiculous.
361
00:18:51,866 --> 00:18:55,331
I'm gonna just have to
keep trying with Paul.
362
00:18:55,399 --> 00:18:57,431
I'm so very,
very sorry.
363
00:18:59,699 --> 00:19:01,732
But, listen,
don't get down, ok?
364
00:19:01,799 --> 00:19:03,065
Hey, this'll work out.
365
00:19:03,133 --> 00:19:06,565
I know, but if Paul would let
me be like this with you,
366
00:19:06,633 --> 00:19:08,565
I mean, how much could he
really care about me?
367
00:19:08,633 --> 00:19:12,332
Get your hands off my
wife, you home wrecker!
368
00:19:14,533 --> 00:19:15,898
I didn't touch
your wife.
369
00:19:15,966 --> 00:19:18,732
Why? She not good
enough for ya, huh?
370
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,298
I told ya not
to wear the purple.
371
00:19:30,633 --> 00:19:32,232
MAYOR: James?
372
00:19:32,299 --> 00:19:33,298
James?
373
00:19:35,899 --> 00:19:37,432
James, you in here?
374
00:19:37,499 --> 00:19:41,165
It's wheel time.
375
00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:45,032
The clue is...
It's an event.
376
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:48,132
I... I'm thinking
groundhog day
377
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,798
or a bris.
378
00:19:55,566 --> 00:19:56,798
It's you.
379
00:19:58,399 --> 00:19:59,798
It's my boy.
380
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,498
And you're here with
the woman I love.
381
00:20:03,566 --> 00:20:05,932
Is this some
kind of sign?
382
00:20:05,999 --> 00:20:09,232
Uh, Mike, this is
Bobby Hamilton,
383
00:20:09,299 --> 00:20:11,798
son of Gary Hamilton
in accounting.
384
00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:15,632
I'm going to go now.
385
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:18,165
That man is scaring me.
386
00:20:18,233 --> 00:20:19,798
Daddy!
387
00:20:26,466 --> 00:20:28,498
You ok, Mike?
388
00:20:28,566 --> 00:20:31,565
Yeah. You know, all this
talk about babies,
389
00:20:31,633 --> 00:20:33,732
it's getting me
kinda worked up.
390
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,332
Which reminds me,
let's have dinner next week
391
00:20:36,399 --> 00:20:39,365
with my friend Jeff lyles
and his wife.
392
00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:41,165
You'll like her.
393
00:20:41,233 --> 00:20:43,265
She's swedish.
394
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,099
I know a little French.
395
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:50,132
Let's... let's go
make a baby right now.
396
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,398
Mike, I'm on the pill.
397
00:20:52,466 --> 00:20:55,632
I know. I'm caught up in the moment.
I'm not an idiot.
398
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,431
I want you
right here, right now.
399
00:21:01,499 --> 00:21:03,564
Take me.
400
00:21:03,632 --> 00:21:05,631
(SQUEALS AND GIGGLES)
401
00:21:18,332 --> 00:21:20,331
Are you guys dating?
402
00:21:25,299 --> 00:21:28,899
After Yale, I won my first elected
office in the city council,
403
00:21:28,966 --> 00:21:32,665
and after a 6-year stint
as borough president,
404
00:21:32,732 --> 00:21:35,431
I became the mayor
of this great city.
405
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:41,464
I don't know.
I just don't think
406
00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:44,431
you're city hall
tour material.
407
00:21:44,499 --> 00:21:46,599
I can also get you fired.
408
00:21:46,666 --> 00:21:49,598
Really?
409
00:21:49,666 --> 00:21:52,465
I'm pretty sure.
410
00:21:52,533 --> 00:21:55,266
Well, Doug sees your point.
411
00:21:55,332 --> 00:21:57,498
And I'm moving.
412
00:21:57,565 --> 00:21:59,166
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
413
00:21:59,233 --> 00:22:00,364
(BARKING)
414
00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:02,999
Moo.
415
00:22:03,049 --> 00:22:07,599
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
29772
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
