All language subtitles for Lady Dynamite s01e03 White Trash.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,018 --> 00:00:06,603 [doorbell rings] 2 00:00:09,397 --> 00:00:12,442 Oh, Gabriel! Hey! 3 00:00:12,525 --> 00:00:14,557 Shane's old boyfriend, right? 4 00:00:14,641 --> 00:00:16,718 Wow! Good to see you. 5 00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:17,951 What a coincidence. 6 00:00:18,034 --> 00:00:20,572 - That'll be $26.50. - Okay. 7 00:00:20,597 --> 00:00:23,328 Oh, right. Well, I'm sure I'll see you around. 8 00:00:23,411 --> 00:00:25,413 - I'll see you around. - Okay. 9 00:00:25,496 --> 00:00:26,497 Okay, great. 10 00:00:26,581 --> 00:00:28,666 [phone] Your driver is approaching. 11 00:00:30,365 --> 00:00:32,742 Hey! It's you again. 12 00:00:32,826 --> 00:00:33,910 Wanna... get in? 13 00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:35,536 Uh, should I just get in the front, or... 14 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,372 - Hop in the back. - Okay, cool. 15 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,068 [dogs barking] 16 00:00:38,151 --> 00:00:40,426 Blueberry and Bert. My two favorite people. 17 00:00:40,451 --> 00:00:42,627 Oh. Oh, my God! 18 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,420 [stammers] And then we meet again. 19 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,300 [screams] 20 00:00:49,948 --> 00:00:53,054 What are you doing here? This is insane! 21 00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:55,348 What? A black man can't be in the pool? 22 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,272 Wanna call the mayor, have him drain it? 23 00:00:57,355 --> 00:00:59,185 No. It's just that... 24 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,895 [Maria stammering] 25 00:01:00,978 --> 00:01:03,647 We've been running into each other... Now you're here. 26 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,441 - You know... - I'm just kidding. 27 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:07,901 Oh. [laughing] Oh, my God. 28 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:08,986 Oh, I was... 29 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:12,407 I love humor. Uh, yeah. 30 00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:14,117 Oh, my gosh... 31 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,202 - I was scared there, for a second. - Why? 32 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,578 'Cause I'm black? 33 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:19,288 No. 34 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:21,916 - I was kidding again. - Oh, my God. 35 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,125 You need to lighten up. 36 00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:25,169 - That was good. - Like I wish I could... 37 00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,964 - but I'm black. - Oh... [softly] I don't know. 38 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:32,092 Am I supposed to laugh at that? 39 00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:33,969 Depends if you're racist or not. 40 00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:35,763 Do you think I'm racist? 41 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,015 Is asking that racist? 42 00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:40,935 There's no right answer. Things aren't black and white. 43 00:01:41,859 --> 00:01:43,527 Or are they? 44 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:48,651 Oh... Oh, no. 45 00:01:50,014 --> 00:01:52,196 [theme music playing] 46 00:01:52,268 --> 00:01:58,009 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 47 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:03,082 [Maria] I'm a pterodactyl. 48 00:02:05,082 --> 00:02:07,501 [Maria] Gabriel really got me thinking. Was I a racist? 49 00:02:07,584 --> 00:02:09,461 I've secured my lady a part, 50 00:02:09,545 --> 00:02:12,089 which meets all her prescribed requirements... 51 00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:14,257 sans audition. 52 00:02:15,509 --> 00:02:16,719 Requirements? 53 00:02:16,802 --> 00:02:20,306 It's a sitcom. Easy hours. You'll be home every day by 4:00. 54 00:02:20,681 --> 00:02:23,684 Stupid money. Plus, you said you wanted 55 00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:25,018 more diversity in your life? 56 00:02:25,143 --> 00:02:26,144 Well, get this... 57 00:02:26,228 --> 00:02:27,479 it's a black show. 58 00:02:27,563 --> 00:02:29,440 The leads are these two black comics 59 00:02:29,523 --> 00:02:31,817 you can't tell one from the other. 60 00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:34,486 - Bruce. - No! They're twins. 61 00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:36,739 Oh, no, I... 62 00:02:36,822 --> 00:02:39,491 I will like to have more diversity in my life. 63 00:02:39,575 --> 00:02:43,662 I'm just worried about everything I do or say lately, racially. 64 00:02:43,745 --> 00:02:45,580 Oh, are you a racist? 65 00:02:45,664 --> 00:02:49,710 - No! Do I seem like a racist? - No, of course not. 66 00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:52,087 - Do I? - No! 67 00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:54,964 Let's see what Ask Jeeves has to say about it. 68 00:02:55,048 --> 00:02:56,258 Uh, Chantrelle? 69 00:02:56,341 --> 00:02:57,259 [Chantrelle] Yeah? 70 00:02:57,342 --> 00:03:00,804 Ask Jeeves for groups in LA for people who hate being racist. 71 00:03:00,888 --> 00:03:04,558 - I don't hate being racist. That's... - You should. 72 00:03:04,641 --> 00:03:05,934 [Chantrelle] How about this? 73 00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:08,687 "Are you nervous you're a full blown racist?" 74 00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:10,230 Yes. 75 00:03:10,314 --> 00:03:13,734 "Are your ethnic friends annoyed you ask too many questions about race?" 76 00:03:13,817 --> 00:03:15,527 Yes! 77 00:03:15,611 --> 00:03:17,238 "Bring questions about black people 78 00:03:17,321 --> 00:03:22,660 and other minorities to LA P.U.R.E., People United for Racial Equality." 79 00:03:22,743 --> 00:03:28,040 That's exactly what I need. A group to talk about racial issues. 80 00:03:28,123 --> 00:03:30,108 I knew Chantrelle could handle your issues de coeur. 81 00:03:30,191 --> 00:03:32,567 She does possess the name of a black lady. 82 00:03:32,651 --> 00:03:34,546 - Chantrelle! - [Chantrelle] What? 83 00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:36,173 Nothing, my sweet. 84 00:03:36,256 --> 00:03:37,883 Bruce, this is great. Thank you. 85 00:03:37,966 --> 00:03:40,969 And... I'll do the pilot. I need the money. 86 00:03:41,053 --> 00:03:44,848 And America needs to see your face on its tiny tube screens. 87 00:03:44,932 --> 00:03:46,934 - [chuckling] - And we're back! 88 00:03:47,517 --> 00:03:48,935 [Bruce laughing] 89 00:03:49,645 --> 00:03:54,608 So amazing to have such a diverse turnout for our LA P.U.R.E. meeting. 90 00:03:59,071 --> 00:04:01,323 I'm sorry. I have a question. 91 00:04:01,406 --> 00:04:04,659 Oh, names first. We always start with names first. 92 00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:06,495 Okay, my name is Maria. 93 00:04:10,082 --> 00:04:11,417 And... I'm white. 94 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:12,918 [all] Hi, Maria. 95 00:04:13,001 --> 00:04:17,506 Okay. I don't have many friends who are black, 96 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:22,969 and I just wanna be more cognizant of racism and white privilege. 97 00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:27,975 And I have this job next week, and it's a TV pilot with a diverse cast, 98 00:04:28,058 --> 00:04:30,269 and I'm just really anxious. 99 00:04:30,352 --> 00:04:33,480 I don't want to say or do anything wrong. 100 00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:35,190 What's the show about? 101 00:04:35,273 --> 00:04:38,860 It's about two African American brothers who are garbage people. 102 00:04:38,944 --> 00:04:41,238 [all exclaiming] 103 00:04:41,321 --> 00:04:45,659 Maria, we don't call them garbage people anymore. 104 00:04:45,742 --> 00:04:48,787 No, no. That's... their job. 105 00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:51,790 Wait... you called them garbage people? 106 00:04:51,873 --> 00:04:55,418 Of course, I did. We all did. 107 00:04:55,502 --> 00:04:56,837 Just by being white. 108 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,964 - Get it? - Uh... 109 00:04:59,047 --> 00:05:00,257 - No. - No. 110 00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:03,176 That's the right attitude. You don't get it. 111 00:05:03,260 --> 00:05:05,220 That's the point of our group. 112 00:05:05,303 --> 00:05:08,640 We believe that interfering, or even trying to relate, 113 00:05:08,724 --> 00:05:11,644 is an implicit insult to people whose struggles 114 00:05:11,727 --> 00:05:13,604 we couldn't possibly understand. 115 00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:16,231 Right. Okay. 116 00:05:16,314 --> 00:05:19,389 Look, I really use to wanna relate. 117 00:05:19,414 --> 00:05:21,802 I practically wanted to be a black person. 118 00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:25,824 But we can't burden them anymore with our issues. 119 00:05:25,907 --> 00:05:27,575 - Keep it light. - [Maria] Okay. 120 00:05:27,659 --> 00:05:31,100 You know, weather, sports... 121 00:05:31,183 --> 00:05:32,464 "Is that a new car?" 122 00:05:32,489 --> 00:05:33,910 - That type of stuff. - Okay. 123 00:05:33,970 --> 00:05:36,835 - Remember, if you're white, keep it light. 124 00:05:36,918 --> 00:05:37,760 Okay. 125 00:05:37,844 --> 00:05:41,355 [Sheri] They've already been burdened with our shenanigans. 126 00:05:41,438 --> 00:05:44,342 Especially our nation's ultimate shenanigan... 127 00:05:44,426 --> 00:05:45,427 slavery. 128 00:05:47,262 --> 00:05:48,847 [Maria] Yeah. 129 00:05:48,930 --> 00:05:51,307 [Maria] That seemed like solid advice. 130 00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:53,424 Groups have helped me a lot in the past. 131 00:05:53,508 --> 00:05:55,395 [Maria] I have great news. 132 00:05:55,479 --> 00:05:58,273 My agent, Karen Grisham, got me a job! 133 00:05:58,356 --> 00:06:00,358 A commercial for a huge superstore. 134 00:06:00,442 --> 00:06:01,777 It's not about the money. 135 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:03,278 It's what it represents. 136 00:06:03,361 --> 00:06:06,406 Which is a huge amount of money. 137 00:06:06,490 --> 00:06:09,493 I should be able to pay off my debt in four months. 138 00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:11,620 Yay! 139 00:06:11,703 --> 00:06:12,787 [sighing] 140 00:06:15,996 --> 00:06:18,919 But it probably won't work out. 141 00:06:19,002 --> 00:06:20,837 I mean... nothing ever does. 142 00:06:20,921 --> 00:06:23,590 They'll look at me, and be like, "You're fired." 143 00:06:23,673 --> 00:06:25,689 You know, super-agent 144 00:06:25,714 --> 00:06:28,410 Karen Grisham, she'll let me go as a client. [chuckling] 145 00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,846 I don't even have a character 146 00:06:29,971 --> 00:06:31,306 for the commercial yet. 147 00:06:31,389 --> 00:06:34,851 And I probably won't be able to think of one in time. 148 00:06:34,935 --> 00:06:38,063 You know what? It'll never last. [chuckles] 149 00:06:38,146 --> 00:06:40,273 Time! All right. 150 00:06:40,357 --> 00:06:43,755 I don't wanna cross talk here, but that's great, Maria. 151 00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:46,488 - [shrieks quietly] - Okay, who wants to share next? 152 00:06:48,365 --> 00:06:52,703 I know this is wrong, but when I'm in a store, 153 00:06:52,786 --> 00:06:56,498 there are things that I see that I have to buy. 154 00:06:56,581 --> 00:06:59,793 It's like there's electricity going through my body, 155 00:06:59,876 --> 00:07:03,505 and every molecule is vibrating. 156 00:07:03,588 --> 00:07:06,049 It feels so good! 157 00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:09,261 [Maria] And there it was. Inspiration for my character. 158 00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:12,430 Oh, I love just running up and down the aisles, 159 00:07:12,514 --> 00:07:14,558 looking at all the new stuff. 160 00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:16,518 And at the ends of the aisles... 161 00:07:16,643 --> 00:07:19,229 that's where they put the hot goods! [laughs] 162 00:07:19,312 --> 00:07:21,564 [Maria] Like Elvis was King of Rock and Roll, 163 00:07:21,648 --> 00:07:23,817 I would be the Queen of Checklist. 164 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:27,862 Oh, the euphoria like never before! Oh! 165 00:07:27,946 --> 00:07:31,324 [gasping] All the shopping. I can't get enough! 166 00:07:31,408 --> 00:07:34,244 I'm plugged into bargain power. 167 00:07:34,327 --> 00:07:35,578 [laughing] 168 00:07:35,662 --> 00:07:38,331 All my shopping molecules are vibrating! 169 00:07:38,415 --> 00:07:39,625 - [laughing manically] - [bell ringing] 170 00:07:39,708 --> 00:07:41,126 [screaming] 171 00:07:41,209 --> 00:07:44,003 End caps. This is where they keep the good stuff. 172 00:07:44,087 --> 00:07:46,506 [gasps and screams] 173 00:07:46,590 --> 00:07:48,634 [screaming] Jewelry! 174 00:07:48,717 --> 00:07:51,637 [laughing] Oh, no. 175 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,430 [crying] 176 00:07:57,142 --> 00:07:59,603 [screaming] There are so many bargains! 177 00:07:59,686 --> 00:08:02,981 Hot goods. Euphoria! [screaming] 178 00:08:03,064 --> 00:08:04,524 [laughing] 179 00:08:05,692 --> 00:08:06,776 [screaming] 180 00:08:09,863 --> 00:08:11,198 - [cat meowing] - [woman] Cut! 181 00:08:11,281 --> 00:08:12,491 Bruce, what'd you think? 182 00:08:12,574 --> 00:08:14,451 Well, we gave it a great shot. 183 00:08:14,534 --> 00:08:17,454 As your manager, I will manage Karen's disappointment. 184 00:08:17,537 --> 00:08:19,789 How shall I fall upon my sword, my queen? 185 00:08:19,873 --> 00:08:20,874 You don't think it went well? 186 00:08:20,957 --> 00:08:23,960 Great angle. That's exactly the way we're gonna play it. 187 00:08:26,463 --> 00:08:29,841 So, here's the plan. I'm gonna say, "Hello. How are you?" 188 00:08:29,925 --> 00:08:31,009 Handshake. Handshake. 189 00:08:31,092 --> 00:08:32,628 "Did you see the recent sports game?" 190 00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:35,180 A mention of an article in The New Yorker 191 00:08:35,263 --> 00:08:36,639 on artisanal meats. That's it. 192 00:08:36,723 --> 00:08:39,267 Bruce, get your thumb out of your ass! 193 00:08:39,351 --> 00:08:41,728 The New Yorker, artisanal, sports, meat. 194 00:08:41,811 --> 00:08:44,272 - Let's talk Checklist. - Yes. 195 00:08:44,356 --> 00:08:47,317 First of all, let me say an old-fashioned apology. 196 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,818 And let's not say goodbye. 197 00:08:48,902 --> 00:08:52,364 Let's say, as the French do, please don't drop us as a client. 198 00:08:52,447 --> 00:08:53,823 What's this fuck-brain saying? 199 00:08:53,907 --> 00:08:56,368 Bruce is concerned that it didn't go well. 200 00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:59,955 Are you out of your fucking mind? Checklist loved what you did. 201 00:09:00,038 --> 00:09:02,958 Their pants are full of their own reproductive fluid, 202 00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:04,793 and they love that feeling. 203 00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:07,504 They're willing to pay 150K for the first campaign. 204 00:09:07,587 --> 00:09:09,547 You are the one filling their pants. 205 00:09:09,631 --> 00:09:11,508 Their full pants, our full pockets. 206 00:09:11,591 --> 00:09:13,802 You know what I would like for you to do right now? 207 00:09:14,844 --> 00:09:16,387 What is that, Karen? 208 00:09:16,471 --> 00:09:19,683 Cradle the balls and work the shaft 209 00:09:19,766 --> 00:09:21,601 Cradle the balls and work... 210 00:09:21,685 --> 00:09:23,103 The shaft Sing it with me. 211 00:09:23,186 --> 00:09:25,855 [both sing] Cradle the balls and work the shaft 212 00:09:25,939 --> 00:09:29,092 Cradle the balls and work the shaft 213 00:09:29,175 --> 00:09:32,195 Cradle the balls and work the shaft 214 00:09:32,279 --> 00:09:35,240 [all] Cradle the balls And work the shaft 215 00:09:35,323 --> 00:09:38,409 Cradle the balls and work the shaft! 216 00:09:38,493 --> 00:09:43,081 Cradle the balls and work the shaft 217 00:09:43,164 --> 00:09:45,792 This is gonna be fucking amazing for you, Maria. 218 00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:49,003 [both] Cradle the balls And work the shaft 219 00:09:49,087 --> 00:09:50,997 Oh, God. The thing is... 220 00:09:51,022 --> 00:09:53,216 I just wanna be a good person and... 221 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:55,010 I wanna make people happy, you know? 222 00:09:55,093 --> 00:09:56,636 [Karen] Yeah, absolutely. You know what? 223 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,263 You're gonna be so fucking rich, 224 00:09:58,346 --> 00:10:02,016 even if anybody thinks you're a bad person, you can tell them to fuck off. 225 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,727 [all laughing] 226 00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:05,723 Cradle the balls... 227 00:10:05,807 --> 00:10:07,022 Get the fuck out of here. I got a meeting. 228 00:10:07,105 --> 00:10:10,022 [Maria] Oh, okay. [Maria] I was on top of the world. 229 00:10:10,047 --> 00:10:11,901 My career was a rocketship to the moon. 230 00:10:11,926 --> 00:10:15,471 And I was being a good person. I had it all. 231 00:10:15,530 --> 00:10:17,782 You know her as the crazy shopper 232 00:10:17,866 --> 00:10:21,953 who gets people to buy merchandise made for pennies by forced child labor. 233 00:10:22,037 --> 00:10:23,580 [all laughing] 234 00:10:23,663 --> 00:10:27,542 Put your hands together for the sellout, Maria Bamford. 235 00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:29,418 [audience applauding] 236 00:10:33,214 --> 00:10:34,382 Oh, my gosh. 237 00:10:34,466 --> 00:10:36,343 - Uh... yeah. - [feedback] 238 00:10:36,426 --> 00:10:39,804 I have done a series of commercials, and, uh... 239 00:10:39,888 --> 00:10:41,264 [blowing] 240 00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:43,934 [laughter] 241 00:10:44,684 --> 00:10:47,812 I am a radical, militant... 242 00:10:47,896 --> 00:10:50,732 Green Party socialist and a hypocrite, it turns out. 243 00:10:52,317 --> 00:10:54,986 Oh, boy... 244 00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,697 I will be taking that money 245 00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:59,491 and redecorating my house in shades of gray. 246 00:10:59,574 --> 00:11:03,745 - [all laughing] - I don't feel good about myself. 247 00:11:03,828 --> 00:11:08,666 [Maria] Yes, I was a sellout, and I would never let that happen again. 248 00:11:11,211 --> 00:11:13,714 [audience cheering] 249 00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:19,469 Hi, Kenny. Hi, Keith. 250 00:11:19,552 --> 00:11:21,220 Oh, hey, Mrs. White. 251 00:11:21,846 --> 00:11:24,932 If you're free tomorrow, you should come to the Comedy Store. 252 00:11:25,016 --> 00:11:27,393 That's where me and Kenny are doing stand-up. 253 00:11:27,477 --> 00:11:31,356 Yeah, as if we don't do enough standing up... all day long. 254 00:11:31,439 --> 00:11:34,275 - [laughs] Aren't they funny? - [chuckles nervously] 255 00:11:34,359 --> 00:11:36,862 Hey, have you seen my baby's favorite blanky? 256 00:11:36,945 --> 00:11:40,907 My "assistant" threw it away by accident. 257 00:11:40,990 --> 00:11:45,036 [in Russian accent] I'm from Russia. I don't speak English. 258 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,914 Know what I like to say? The reason they call it Russia 259 00:11:47,997 --> 00:11:50,082 is everyone's rushin' to get out of there. 260 00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:52,126 You know where I'd like to be rushin'? 261 00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,838 Across the street to Gabrielle Union's pool house. 262 00:11:54,921 --> 00:11:56,631 - She's fine. - She fine. 263 00:12:03,263 --> 00:12:05,640 - [audience laughing] - [sighs] 264 00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:07,934 All right, boys. 265 00:12:08,017 --> 00:12:10,853 If you do see that blanky, please tell my assistant. 266 00:12:10,937 --> 00:12:12,814 You might have to tell her a few times, 267 00:12:12,897 --> 00:12:14,857 'cause she's dumb as a bowl of borscht. 268 00:12:14,941 --> 00:12:16,359 [Keith] You got it, Mrs. White. 269 00:12:16,443 --> 00:12:17,861 Off to the Browns. 270 00:12:17,944 --> 00:12:19,112 [Mrs. White] Bye, boys. 271 00:12:19,195 --> 00:12:23,366 [in Russian accent] I'm from Russia. I don't speak English. 272 00:12:23,450 --> 00:12:24,993 - [bell ringing] - [man] Cut! 273 00:12:25,076 --> 00:12:26,869 [laughing] That was fucking awesome! 274 00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:29,831 Absolutely amazing, you guys. You're geniuses. 275 00:12:29,914 --> 00:12:31,290 Maria, amazing! 276 00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:33,126 [Maria] It felt great to get laughs, 277 00:12:33,209 --> 00:12:36,003 but I wondered if this show was racially insensitive. 278 00:12:36,087 --> 00:12:39,215 This time, I wouldn't roll over, like I did with Checklist. 279 00:12:39,299 --> 00:12:41,134 - Hey. - [gasping] Oh! 280 00:12:41,217 --> 00:12:42,260 Oh! 281 00:12:43,761 --> 00:12:44,804 [crunching] Hi, Maria. 282 00:12:44,888 --> 00:12:47,974 - I'm just eating carrots. - Oh, hey, Jennipher Nickles. 283 00:12:48,057 --> 00:12:49,183 No, I'm fine. 284 00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:51,311 Listen, I was wondering... 285 00:12:51,394 --> 00:12:53,229 does this show make you uncomfortable? 286 00:12:54,397 --> 00:12:59,319 I mean, the two lead minority characters are playing garbage people, 287 00:12:59,402 --> 00:13:01,446 and all the producers are white. 288 00:13:01,529 --> 00:13:03,489 I've been out of the swing of things, 289 00:13:03,573 --> 00:13:05,366 but it seems a little demeaning. 290 00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:08,119 Is that weird? I mean, are we sellouts? 291 00:13:08,203 --> 00:13:10,414 Jesus! Is this a fucking racist show? 292 00:13:10,497 --> 00:13:12,666 My brand can't handle another fuck-up. 293 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:15,752 Let's just ask Kenny and Keith. They'll know. 294 00:13:15,835 --> 00:13:18,504 Right? If it is, they'll be the ones to know. 295 00:13:18,588 --> 00:13:21,132 No. We can't bother them with our problems. 296 00:13:21,216 --> 00:13:23,927 It's like, we... just keep it light. 297 00:13:24,010 --> 00:13:25,261 - Light? - Yeah. 298 00:13:25,345 --> 00:13:27,889 - White, keep it light. - Hey, Kenny, Keith. 299 00:13:28,806 --> 00:13:29,849 Hey, what's up. 300 00:13:29,933 --> 00:13:33,812 How are the kids? Thank you so much for letting me be a part of this show. 301 00:13:33,895 --> 00:13:35,271 Did you have a new car? 302 00:13:35,355 --> 00:13:37,482 - What? - Uh, I... I don't know. 303 00:13:37,565 --> 00:13:39,317 [stammering] 304 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,193 [in accent] Me no speak English. 305 00:13:41,277 --> 00:13:42,737 [Maria chuckling] 306 00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:44,822 Method actor. Party of one. 307 00:13:44,906 --> 00:13:46,241 [chuckling] 308 00:13:48,409 --> 00:13:51,329 - All right, we will... see you later? - Oh, yes. 309 00:13:51,412 --> 00:13:55,041 - [chuckling] Hi. I mean, bye. - [Maria] Still look nice. 310 00:13:55,124 --> 00:13:57,293 God, they're great guys. They're so great. 311 00:13:57,377 --> 00:13:58,587 They are great. 312 00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:01,214 Somebody's got to stand up and say something. 313 00:14:01,297 --> 00:14:02,882 I mean, this is not right. 314 00:14:02,966 --> 00:14:05,635 Children have to see a positive representation of race. 315 00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:09,598 - I'm gonna go talk to the head heeb. - [gasps] 316 00:14:11,391 --> 00:14:13,268 [grunting] Making a difference. 317 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,731 [Maria] I wasn't as far down my recovery path 318 00:14:17,814 --> 00:14:20,066 as I thought, but my family was there for me. 319 00:14:20,149 --> 00:14:22,360 It even inspired my dad to develop a hobby, 320 00:14:22,485 --> 00:14:25,863 where he was able to take a young local teen under his wing. 321 00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:31,578 Jeremy, no matter what happens with this apprenticeship, 322 00:14:31,744 --> 00:14:33,621 it's been an honor cobbling next to you. 323 00:14:34,747 --> 00:14:35,998 Suck a dick, monkey-fucker. 324 00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:39,210 Hey, buddy. Can we talk for a second? 325 00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:41,505 Can you talk with my dick in your mouth? 326 00:14:41,588 --> 00:14:43,090 - Ooh... - [knocking on door] 327 00:14:43,172 --> 00:14:44,840 [Marilyn] Hi. Hi. 328 00:14:44,924 --> 00:14:46,467 Oh. 329 00:14:46,551 --> 00:14:51,473 Well, I sure feel like a heel... stopping by the cobble shop unannounced. 330 00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:52,724 Get it? 331 00:14:52,807 --> 00:14:55,935 Marilyn what are you doing here? I'm getting through to this tough nut. 332 00:14:56,019 --> 00:14:58,021 [Marilyn] I wanted to see what was so important 333 00:14:58,104 --> 00:15:02,483 that you'd leave your daughter sitting in a pool of her own drool for. 334 00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:06,029 You know, Maria Bamford, your one and only loin-fruit? 335 00:15:06,112 --> 00:15:09,449 - Marilyn, this is not a good time. - Oh... 336 00:15:09,532 --> 00:15:13,745 So, this is the famous Jeremy. Hi. 337 00:15:13,828 --> 00:15:17,665 I'm Marilyn Bamford, Joel's wife and good friend. It's a pleasure. 338 00:15:17,749 --> 00:15:19,876 I thought you were strictly-dickly on Grindr. 339 00:15:20,668 --> 00:15:23,296 It's a gay app. Uh, listen, pally, 340 00:15:23,379 --> 00:15:26,757 you better hope that bullpucky of yours comes in a six-pack, 341 00:15:26,841 --> 00:15:28,676 'cause you're gonna have to can it. 342 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,595 Eat a bowl of dog shit. 343 00:15:31,888 --> 00:15:33,014 Whoa! 344 00:15:33,097 --> 00:15:34,473 [man] Jeremy, we gotta get going. 345 00:15:35,391 --> 00:15:37,518 Is that your father? 346 00:15:37,602 --> 00:15:41,022 Would you tell him Marilyn Bamford would like a word with him? 347 00:15:41,105 --> 00:15:42,898 Me, too. Joel Bamford. 348 00:15:42,982 --> 00:15:44,775 Uh, Dad. 349 00:15:44,859 --> 00:15:48,321 Some geezer faggot and his dyke beard wanna talk to you. 350 00:15:48,404 --> 00:15:49,697 Whoa! No feet. 351 00:15:50,657 --> 00:15:52,576 [gasps] Double no feet. 352 00:15:52,659 --> 00:15:54,953 We have feet, you cocklicker. They don't work. 353 00:15:55,036 --> 00:15:58,706 I'm Marilyn Bamford, and this is Joel Bamford, 354 00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:01,459 - my husband and good friend. - Fag. 355 00:16:01,542 --> 00:16:05,796 And your son, here, has a sailor mouth that belongs on the poop deck. 356 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,425 [crying] Nothing sadder than a cobbler making shoes for no feet. 357 00:16:09,509 --> 00:16:12,887 What's going on? Jeremy, we're late for your DUI class. 358 00:16:13,846 --> 00:16:15,097 I get it, Jeremy. 359 00:16:15,181 --> 00:16:16,683 I get your rage now. 360 00:16:16,766 --> 00:16:19,018 I should have asked about your home life. 361 00:16:19,936 --> 00:16:22,897 I'm withdrawing from the apprenticeship. You can have it. 362 00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:24,732 I'd no idea what you'd been through. 363 00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:26,067 What he's been through? 364 00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,819 What the fuck's he been through? 365 00:16:28,903 --> 00:16:32,573 I?m sorry, what you've been through with your feet, or useful lack thereof. 366 00:16:32,657 --> 00:16:34,409 You feel sorry for us? 367 00:16:35,618 --> 00:16:37,078 We feel sorry for you 368 00:16:37,161 --> 00:16:38,954 with the crazy fuck-nut at home. 369 00:16:39,038 --> 00:16:40,790 You take that back! 370 00:16:40,873 --> 00:16:43,036 That what you said when your cuckoo-retard-daughter 371 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,337 squirted out your wife's smelly rot box? 372 00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,631 - [screams] Whoa! - Whoa! 373 00:16:47,714 --> 00:16:49,341 She is not a cuckoo-retard. 374 00:16:49,424 --> 00:16:51,176 Even if she was, that would be fine. 375 00:16:51,259 --> 00:16:53,636 She has a mental illness. Bipolar II, 376 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,819 defined as long-term depression with agitated hypomania. 377 00:16:56,844 --> 00:16:59,559 - But it does not define her. - No, it does not define her. 378 00:16:59,642 --> 00:17:03,187 - Oh, suck a dick. Jeez! - No, you suck a dick, young man. 379 00:17:03,271 --> 00:17:04,118 My dick. 380 00:17:04,201 --> 00:17:06,858 My giant, grown-up, I-served-in-the-navy dick. 381 00:17:07,668 --> 00:17:09,652 Poop talk begins at home. 382 00:17:09,736 --> 00:17:11,279 Come on, let's get out of here. 383 00:17:11,362 --> 00:17:13,781 This crap sandwich doesn't deserve our attention. 384 00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:16,326 And there's a little girl at home that needs me. 385 00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:27,128 [Joel] Hey, jelly bean. 386 00:17:28,296 --> 00:17:30,340 I think I owe you an apology. 387 00:17:31,299 --> 00:17:32,926 I threw myself into Jeremy's life, 388 00:17:33,009 --> 00:17:35,720 so I'd have an excuse for not dealing with yours. 389 00:17:36,512 --> 00:17:38,222 And in the process... 390 00:17:38,306 --> 00:17:41,184 I lost track of what I had always loved about cobbling. 391 00:17:42,018 --> 00:17:43,186 Which is everything. 392 00:17:44,353 --> 00:17:45,813 I'm so sorry. 393 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,677 Turns out, your father is a big, giant sellout. 394 00:17:50,818 --> 00:17:52,278 No. 395 00:17:52,361 --> 00:17:54,280 Aw, that's sweet of you to say. 396 00:17:55,364 --> 00:17:57,867 But I just want you to know that I love you... 397 00:17:57,950 --> 00:17:59,743 and I'm always here for you. 398 00:18:01,162 --> 00:18:04,248 So, what do you say we go get a piece of pie, cake, or... 399 00:18:04,332 --> 00:18:06,167 Dairy Queen or somethin'? 400 00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,752 [sniffles] 401 00:18:07,835 --> 00:18:10,504 [whispering] Peanut Buster Parfait. 402 00:18:10,588 --> 00:18:13,174 Dairy Queen, it is. 403 00:18:13,257 --> 00:18:15,801 Come on, little lady, let's get you dressed. 404 00:18:15,885 --> 00:18:17,553 [sighing and muttering] 405 00:18:20,848 --> 00:18:24,935 [Maria] My dad showed me it was possible to make up for selling out, 406 00:18:25,019 --> 00:18:28,981 so I was proud to have abolished offensive stereotypes on my new show. 407 00:18:30,066 --> 00:18:31,150 Hey, guys. 408 00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:35,613 Got anything you wanna unload into our receptacles? 409 00:18:35,696 --> 00:18:37,031 [audience] Ooh. 410 00:18:37,114 --> 00:18:39,366 Doesn't matter what size it is. 411 00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:42,370 We've got plenty of room in our dumpers. 412 00:18:42,453 --> 00:18:43,955 [audience laughing] 413 00:18:44,038 --> 00:18:45,456 And if it doesn't fit... 414 00:18:47,083 --> 00:18:49,460 we'll just take it in the alley 415 00:18:49,544 --> 00:18:51,004 [all laughing] 416 00:18:51,087 --> 00:18:52,839 Liquids are fine. 417 00:18:52,922 --> 00:18:56,801 Feel free to spray your stuff all over our brand new cans. 418 00:18:56,884 --> 00:18:58,594 - [audience laughing] - [bell ringing] 419 00:18:58,678 --> 00:19:02,390 [laughing] Oh, that was so great, you guys. That was so damn funny. 420 00:19:02,473 --> 00:19:03,641 We're gonna take a break. 421 00:19:03,724 --> 00:19:05,476 We got standards issues to go over, 422 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,562 but I love the trash tits. [laughs] 423 00:19:07,645 --> 00:19:09,230 - That felt good. - Yeah. 424 00:19:09,313 --> 00:19:11,315 - What did you feel? - It felt really good. 425 00:19:11,399 --> 00:19:12,567 [audience cheering] 426 00:19:12,650 --> 00:19:15,278 Hey, is everybody excited to see some White Trash? 427 00:19:15,361 --> 00:19:16,404 [cheering continues] 428 00:19:16,487 --> 00:19:18,114 So, are you guys excited? 429 00:19:18,197 --> 00:19:20,282 Not really. We're thinking about quitting. 430 00:19:20,366 --> 00:19:24,036 What? I thought the run-through went so well today. 431 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:27,290 - We felt totally minimized. - We lost all our lines. 432 00:19:27,373 --> 00:19:30,001 This was a show about how we started stand-up. 433 00:19:30,084 --> 00:19:32,295 - But you were so funny. - [Kenny] Doing what? 434 00:19:32,378 --> 00:19:34,589 - Wearing a suit? - That's not funny. 435 00:19:34,672 --> 00:19:38,217 Aren't you happy about representing your race in a powerful way? 436 00:19:38,301 --> 00:19:41,304 No, we don't wanna represent anything. We're comedians. 437 00:19:41,387 --> 00:19:44,557 - We just wanna be funny. - Yeah, we love laughter. 438 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:45,891 Oh... 439 00:19:46,809 --> 00:19:48,728 I did a bad, bad thing. 440 00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:51,188 - You did this? - Yeah. 441 00:19:51,272 --> 00:19:55,109 I... I put a birdie in somebody's writing ear, 442 00:19:55,192 --> 00:19:56,985 - and I... oh... - [sighing] 443 00:19:57,069 --> 00:19:58,904 To sabotage us. You wanna be the star. 444 00:19:58,988 --> 00:19:59,822 You sold us out. 445 00:19:59,906 --> 00:20:02,784 I was trying to un-sell you out, that's the thing. 446 00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:04,243 Hey. Fuckin' check it, dudes. 447 00:20:04,327 --> 00:20:05,537 NBC was at the run-through, 448 00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:08,248 they got a major chub over the show's new direction. 449 00:20:08,331 --> 00:20:11,292 We got 13 episodes. We're going straight to series! 450 00:20:12,376 --> 00:20:14,753 - Dope. That's great. - Awesome. That's fantastic. 451 00:20:14,837 --> 00:20:15,713 I can't do it. 452 00:20:16,672 --> 00:20:20,759 I can't look sexy as hell on the back of a trash truck if it means 453 00:20:20,843 --> 00:20:22,470 selling out people I respect. 454 00:20:23,232 --> 00:20:25,109 Yes, of course I want a pony! 455 00:20:26,415 --> 00:20:30,311 But that pony's cuteness wouldn't override the ugliness I feel inside. 456 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,355 I thought I was righting an injustice. 457 00:20:33,472 --> 00:20:37,351 But, in fact, I was making an injustice even worse. 458 00:20:38,486 --> 00:20:39,862 The fuck is she talking about? 459 00:20:40,613 --> 00:20:44,742 Listen, they should be garbage people. Not me and Jennipher Nickles. 460 00:20:44,825 --> 00:20:45,951 Right, Jennipher? 461 00:20:46,035 --> 00:20:48,371 You know I never have to work again, right? 462 00:20:48,454 --> 00:20:51,624 I was on a hit sitcom for 11 years. 463 00:20:51,707 --> 00:20:53,751 I was the voice of Kitten the Car. 464 00:20:53,834 --> 00:20:57,087 That is NBC-you-later money. 465 00:20:57,171 --> 00:20:59,423 I am only here for the craft services... 466 00:21:00,591 --> 00:21:02,718 and the camaraderie. 467 00:21:02,802 --> 00:21:04,721 [laughing] 468 00:21:04,804 --> 00:21:06,097 Josh... 469 00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:07,890 we quit! 470 00:21:07,974 --> 00:21:12,145 And everyone, there's something that's a lot more important than money. 471 00:21:12,228 --> 00:21:14,897 - [yells] It's justice! - Whoo-hoo! 472 00:21:15,606 --> 00:21:18,150 We did it! We did it! 473 00:21:18,234 --> 00:21:19,986 - Whoo! - We didn't sell out! 474 00:21:20,069 --> 00:21:22,238 - [all laughing] - Wait. 475 00:21:22,321 --> 00:21:24,490 - [Maria] Oh. What? - [man] Cut! 476 00:21:24,573 --> 00:21:26,658 Is that how we're gonna end the show? 477 00:21:26,742 --> 00:21:28,786 Yeah, and then I was gonna ride off 478 00:21:28,869 --> 00:21:32,539 [sing-song] triumphantly... [normal] off the back of a garbage truck. 479 00:21:32,623 --> 00:21:36,377 - But you didn't solve anything. - Yeah, I thought we... did. 480 00:21:36,460 --> 00:21:38,837 We said a lot of important things about race. 481 00:21:38,921 --> 00:21:40,214 Like what? 482 00:21:40,297 --> 00:21:43,342 Well... like... 483 00:21:43,426 --> 00:21:45,011 You know, just a... 484 00:21:45,094 --> 00:21:46,846 Uh... 485 00:21:47,930 --> 00:21:49,348 Little help... 486 00:21:49,432 --> 00:21:52,393 Academy Award-winning screenwriter John Ridley? 487 00:21:52,476 --> 00:21:56,230 Oh, I wish I could help you on this one, but you're on your own. 488 00:21:56,313 --> 00:21:58,565 Okay, but you see what I'm trying to do here. 489 00:21:58,649 --> 00:22:02,319 You know, trying to say something about race. 490 00:22:02,403 --> 00:22:04,030 I... I wanna do the right thing. 491 00:22:04,113 --> 00:22:08,367 I don't think what you're doing is malicious, it's just recklessly ignorant. 492 00:22:08,451 --> 00:22:11,287 Really? Okay, all right. 493 00:22:12,455 --> 00:22:15,708 But that... that's a place to start. 494 00:22:15,791 --> 00:22:17,209 - Enough! - Oh, God! 495 00:22:17,293 --> 00:22:22,673 [in British accent] I do not need this meta-bollocks rubbish. 496 00:22:22,757 --> 00:22:25,551 I am a two-time BAFTA award winner. 497 00:22:26,302 --> 00:22:29,388 I know the Queen, and I know the Queen's corgis. 498 00:22:29,472 --> 00:22:31,057 Let me tell you, Miss Maria. 499 00:22:31,140 --> 00:22:33,517 They are both lesser bitches than you. 500 00:22:33,642 --> 00:22:35,310 You think this is material? 501 00:22:35,436 --> 00:22:36,896 I have been Medea... 502 00:22:37,688 --> 00:22:39,315 Lady Macbeth... 503 00:22:39,398 --> 00:22:41,942 [Maria] Why is Mira Sorvino speaking in a British accent? 504 00:22:42,026 --> 00:22:43,903 "All the perfumes of Arabia..." 505 00:22:43,986 --> 00:22:46,572 She didn't wanna play herself. Who is she playing? 506 00:22:46,655 --> 00:22:49,575 ...job is because Benedict Cumberbatch told me... 507 00:22:49,658 --> 00:22:52,077 [Maria] I love Mira Sorvino so much. 508 00:22:52,161 --> 00:22:53,829 I wonder if we'll end up being friends. 509 00:22:53,913 --> 00:22:56,416 ...so all you cunts can get stuffed! 510 00:22:58,292 --> 00:23:00,461 - [Maria] Probably not. - She's a good actress. 511 00:23:00,544 --> 00:23:02,171 - Yeah. - [Keith] Great actress. 512 00:23:02,254 --> 00:23:03,110 [Maria] She really is. 513 00:23:03,193 --> 00:23:04,733 I should go do that garbage truck scene. 514 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,365 Oh, yeah. 515 00:23:06,425 --> 00:23:08,260 I can't believe this episode was 516 00:23:08,344 --> 00:23:11,097 about race. They introduced me, then I just disappeared. 517 00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:13,557 Well, it was written by a bunch of white people 518 00:23:13,641 --> 00:23:15,601 who I think were good-intentioned. 519 00:23:15,726 --> 00:23:16,852 I don't know. 520 00:23:16,936 --> 00:23:18,438 They got a problem with the Jews. 521 00:23:18,521 --> 00:23:20,565 It's a daunting task for anybody 522 00:23:20,648 --> 00:23:24,318 to try to tackle an examination of race relations in America. 523 00:23:24,401 --> 00:23:26,987 I barely scratched the surface in 12 Years a Slave, 524 00:23:27,071 --> 00:23:27,905 an entire movie. 525 00:23:27,988 --> 00:23:29,948 The key thing about race is... 526 00:23:30,032 --> 00:23:32,243 - is that we... - Later, gators! 527 00:23:32,326 --> 00:23:34,411 Oh, boy. 528 00:23:34,495 --> 00:23:37,331 Did... did I interrupt? What were you saying? 529 00:23:37,414 --> 00:23:39,583 - I've lost my thought. - [Maria] Ah... 530 00:23:40,334 --> 00:23:43,003 I am so sorry, John Ridley. 531 00:23:43,087 --> 00:23:46,549 This show could have been about something, and I blew it. 532 00:23:47,633 --> 00:23:49,635 - I'm a horrible person. - No. 533 00:23:49,718 --> 00:23:53,805 You know what? Maria, you're fine. You tried and that's something. 534 00:23:53,889 --> 00:23:57,184 Thank you. That is something! 535 00:23:57,268 --> 00:24:00,396 - It's not that much. - And that's enough for me! 536 00:24:00,479 --> 00:24:02,106 [laughing] 537 00:24:06,735 --> 00:24:09,321 Hey, gang, we did it! 538 00:24:09,405 --> 00:24:14,619 We told a story about very sensitive racial issues in America! 539 00:24:14,702 --> 00:24:16,704 And we hit it out of the park! 540 00:24:16,787 --> 00:24:18,622 Highland Park! 541 00:24:18,706 --> 00:24:23,211 Hope you enjoyed the lesson! Go out and spread it! 542 00:24:23,294 --> 00:24:26,964 I love you! You're welcome! 543 00:24:29,091 --> 00:24:31,468 Mira Sorvino! Hi. 544 00:24:31,552 --> 00:24:34,346 I am so thankful that you could be on the show. 545 00:24:34,430 --> 00:24:37,058 Thanks, Maria. It was really fun, I loved it. 546 00:24:37,141 --> 00:24:39,435 Oh... I just had a quick acting question. 547 00:24:39,518 --> 00:24:42,688 How many layers were you playing during that part? 548 00:24:42,771 --> 00:24:45,649 So there is Millicent Pratt, the British actress, 549 00:24:45,733 --> 00:24:48,027 playing American actress, Jennipher Nickles, 550 00:24:48,110 --> 00:24:50,154 playing herself playing Mrs. White 551 00:24:50,237 --> 00:24:51,905 on the sitcom, White Trash. 552 00:24:51,989 --> 00:24:53,949 Wow, that is deep. All right. 553 00:24:54,033 --> 00:24:58,162 And now, another layer, Mira Sorvino, the real one. 554 00:24:58,954 --> 00:25:02,249 Well... who's to say what is real, Maria? 555 00:25:03,209 --> 00:25:06,629 Yeah. Yeah! [laughing] 556 00:25:06,712 --> 00:25:08,964 - [engine starts] - [gasping] 557 00:25:15,179 --> 00:25:20,142 [choir singing] I don't know what I'm doing 558 00:25:20,267 --> 00:25:21,935 More than half of the time 559 00:25:22,061 --> 00:25:24,188 Bye, Mira Sorvino! 560 00:25:26,941 --> 00:25:28,943 [upbeat music playing] 561 00:25:29,062 --> 00:25:34,880 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 562 00:25:34,930 --> 00:25:39,480 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 42923

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