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1
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Ah, eureka!
2
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How'd you do that?
3
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It's a chemical equation. It's all about conducting heat. Joan, you're not going to get any molecular movement with Teflon.
4
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You learned how to cook in AP Chem.? Since when?
5
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The whole flame on the flask idea? That's cooking.
6
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All I learned in there is how to make soap.
7
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Looks like what you're doing right now.
8
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Ok, who wrecked a car, flunked a class?
9
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Mom! Dad!
10
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Jeez, why are you up? You guys always sleep in late on Saturday.
11
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We smelled smells, and since I'm usually the smell maker in the kitchen, we got suspicious.
12
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Are those flowers?
13
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Weeds.
14
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Have a seat. We're preparing a surprise. Coffee, anyone?
15
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I'd love some.
16
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Does anyone know how to make coffee?
17
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I'll do it.
18
00:00:50,827 --> 00:00:54,496
No, no, no, no. Sit down. Luke, how many cakes you got going there?
19
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One, but it's perfect.
20
00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:59,245
Why don't we skip right over the meal part and get to the point?
21
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Um... we've been thinking--
22
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oh, that's a dangerous proposition.
23
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Will.
24
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I was having a flying dream.
25
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The point is, you guys used to go away for a married weekend once a year--
26
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whatever that means. Please don't tell me. We noticed you haven't done that in a while, and given dad's had a hard time at his job lately, and almost dying and all and getting fired--
27
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- He wasn't fired.
- I wasn't fired.
28
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Uh, right. Ok. Well, the point is, we think you should do that again--
29
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that is, go away and do whatever it is you do, and again, please don't elaborate.
30
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"This certificate entitles you to a weekend of full-service treatment at the willow hills spa and well-being center."
31
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A spa?
32
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It's a nice idea, but we can't.
33
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Why not?
34
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I'm starting my new position.
Who'll watch the kids? I don't spa.
35
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Will, think of it as sleeping in.
36
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Would I have to get a facial?
37
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No, you can sit at the pool and read books all day long. Oh, come on. Let's do it.
38
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The kids are right. We haven't had the married weekend for a long time. Strip scrabble.
39
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Over sharing! Take it or leave it.
40
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We'll take it.
41
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Eew.
42
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Hey!
43
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Hi. Uh, what's up with your mom? She signed my late slip no questions asked.
44
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It's too creepy to discuss.
45
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Your parents are getting divorced?
46
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Worse. They're going on a married weekend, something the siblings and I devised thinking we were helping the universe.
47
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They've been goofy about it for days, smiling. Note to self-- do not encourage parental unity.
48
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That was a nice thing to do.
49
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Adam, they've been packing and saying things like, should we even bother to bring real clothes?" "Are we even going to leave the room?"
50
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Well, you're promoting true intimacy, yo.
51
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It's my parents.
52
00:03:41,675 --> 00:03:43,828
Well, what about us?
53
00:03:43,829 --> 00:03:45,470
What about us?
54
00:03:45,471 --> 00:03:46,882
What about us?
55
00:03:46,883 --> 00:03:48,975
What about us?
56
00:03:48,976 --> 00:03:49,638
What about us?
57
00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:51,578
Is it just me, or is this going nowhere?
58
00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:53,517
Good news for AP Modern man.
59
00:03:53,518 --> 00:03:56,566
Anti-drug lecture in multi-purpose room trumps homeroom.
60
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Drugs? Who even cares?
61
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It's getting us out of homeroom.
62
00:04:00,924 --> 00:04:02,609
Price's idea?
63
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Mrs. Girardi's, apparently.
64
00:04:05,354 --> 00:04:07,858
Why do they let her have ideas?
65
00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:15,060
Your brain is an elaborate network of chemicals, all firing and misfiring,
66
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working it out in perfect unison, like a dance.
67
00:04:17,933 --> 00:04:25,649
To introduce illegal pharmaceuticals, whether it be Pot or Crystal Meth. or Ecstasy, is to interfere with a perfect system.
68
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And if you interfere with it long enough, the whole system ceases to work.
69
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Your brain, as it occurs in this moment, is perfect.
70
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Try not to interfere with your body's most intricate system. Romantic love, for example, relies on a healthy breeding ground.
71
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Romantic love is a kind of mental illness.
72
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You all probably know something about that.
73
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Should any of you be so fortunate as to experience a good kiss this year, you would know what I mean when I say the pineal gland opens up and releases valuable hormones. Your loins--
74
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uh, let us say our thanks to Dr. Halliwell for his insight into human behaviour. Dennis, the lights, please. Thank you.
75
00:05:19,379 --> 00:05:20,688
Did you like my speech, Joan?
76
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Drugs are bad? That's not a new message. And since you're here, you invented drugs, didn't you?
77
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I invented rattlesnakes. Doesn't mean I want you playing around with them.
78
00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:37,106
Well, I don't do drugs, so what's your assignment? You want me to keep not doing drugs?
79
00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:46,497
Not a bad assignment, but here's the thing. You've done a lot of hard jobs for me lately, so don't be surprised if I ask you to do something fun.
80
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But see, nobody thinks of you as fun.
81
00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:53,721
And that's the problem. Bye.
82
00:05:54,802 --> 00:05:57,194
Oh, and you're fun-ny.
83
00:06:00,788 --> 00:06:03,036
I don't have to go. My wife would understand.
84
00:06:03,037 --> 00:06:06,400
Will, I've been married. They understand until they don't. Then they pack.
85
00:06:06,401 --> 00:06:07,772
I hate spas.
86
00:06:07,773 --> 00:06:12,353
I think you should go. We don't have anything we can't put on the back burner, do we, Sergeant Williams?
87
00:06:12,354 --> 00:06:13,308
No, sir.
88
00:06:14,226 --> 00:06:15,209
The meth lab.
89
00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:16,373
There's a meth lab?
90
00:06:16,374 --> 00:06:20,247
There's always a meth lab. Sergeant Williams and I have been stalking one in particular.
91
00:06:20,248 --> 00:06:21,369
Where are we on it?
92
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:24,312
About to move in, but, um, it can wait.
93
00:06:25,930 --> 00:06:27,208
Can the meth lab wait?
94
00:06:28,525 --> 00:06:34,443
This is a good one. We've had some trouble nailing it down, but we've come up with some goods on it. We're ready to raid it.
95
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Tell me, can it wait?
96
00:06:37,639 --> 00:06:41,077
They exist on wheels. They are always prepared to move.
97
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I don't like strangers touching me. My wife will understand.
98
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Ok, I'm making a judgment call here.
99
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Will, go away with your wife.
100
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Toni, keep an eye on the lab, and we'll move if we have to.
101
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I don't think you should try it without me. I've brought a few of these down.
102
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So we'll keep an eye out, and if we decide to move, we can call you. They do allow cell phones at this spa?
103
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One can only hope.
104
00:07:11,851 --> 00:07:12,904
You're too good for this.
105
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Excuse me?
106
00:07:15,975 --> 00:07:21,409
This research that you wrote up on shoes and how they define a person? It made me laugh.
107
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Glad to be of service.
108
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You should be writing essays.
109
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I should be playing ball for Arizona. What's your point?
110
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Kevin, you have a real talent for writing. I know this because
111
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judging writing's what I do for a living. You're wasted here.
112
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Are you firing me?
113
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I'm asking you to reach.
114
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Well, I don't feel like reaching.
115
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Whatever you and I have going on is a matter for the universe to handle. You're a born writer.
116
00:08:03,895 --> 00:08:06,802
Well, isn't that a nice way out.
117
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Do you have any idea how many able-bodied people would kill for your skill as a writer?
118
00:08:13,485 --> 00:08:17,011
No. Tell me. Tell me.
119
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I'm attracted to you. You're attracted to me. Big deal.
120
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Isn't there a larger question to answer?
121
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Be who you are, Kevin. I'll support it.
122
00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:36,761
But what if I just want to kiss you?
123
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You'll have to catch me first.
124
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I'm in good shape. I've been playing basketball. Errrgh.
125
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Hey.
126
00:08:54,598 --> 00:08:56,850
Dude, what did you do to Rove?
127
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Nothing. Why?
128
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He's always been about you, ok, but now he thinks you're like a couple.
129
00:09:02,631 --> 00:09:03,845
Oh, yeah.
130
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I don't advocate for teenage love, but I've known the dude since preschool. He's stupid about you.
131
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I didn't do anything.
132
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Well, you kissed him.
133
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He kissed me, technically speaking.
134
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Good luck with that.
135
00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:19,613
Dude, your parents are out of town?
136
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Go away.
137
00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:23,241
Listen, your parents are going away this weekend?
138
00:09:23,242 --> 00:09:25,213
Don't make me beat you.
139
00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:29,077
You know what you do when your folks are out of town? Have a party, girlfriend.
140
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Who are you?
141
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Have a party.
142
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Right. You're you.
143
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Just have a party. That's what kids do.
144
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Oh, this is the fun part.
145
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The dead sea mud wrap. Your body will be gently dry brushed to eliminate surface toxins and to exfoliate dead skin cells.
146
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Then you are wrapped in a warm mixture of mud, essential oils, and seaweed."
147
00:10:03,592 --> 00:10:06,761
This sounds like something I would pay to avoid.
148
00:10:06,762 --> 00:10:08,826
You don't have to spa.
149
00:10:08,827 --> 00:10:13,320
But I have to go. That wasn't a question.
150
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:19,868
I'm...looking forward to it. It's just that I'm concerned about being away from work right now.
151
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:22,108
You're afraid they'll replace you?
152
00:10:22,109 --> 00:10:24,789
Roebuck needs my guidance.
153
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:29,954
It's a weekend, will, and I'm starting to get hurt that you don't value some alone time with me.
154
00:10:29,955 --> 00:10:33,816
Right now it's hurt, but it's one gripe away from being pissed.
155
00:10:33,817 --> 00:10:35,413
I'm sorry.
156
00:10:35,414 --> 00:10:43,837
I really need to get away, and the kids did this for us. They want it. They want us to be in love again, no matter how much they complain.
157
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In love again?
158
00:10:45,856 --> 00:10:47,558
I mean in an obvious way.
159
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:53,593
Well, we couldn't be obviously in love at a golf resort? That's all I'm saying.
160
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Next time.
161
00:10:57,493 --> 00:11:01,939
And you promise I won't have to get... wrapped up in anything?
162
00:11:03,634 --> 00:11:05,837
Nothing you don't like.
163
00:11:12,370 --> 00:11:15,525
I still say what you gain in the convenience factor is lost in the crispiness factor.
164
00:11:15,526 --> 00:11:16,933
You realize no one's listening to you.
165
00:11:16,934 --> 00:11:18,849
No one ever listens to me, and yet I talk.
166
00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:24,562
Whatever, Shakespeare. Listen... we need to make a plan.
167
00:11:24,563 --> 00:11:27,350
I have a plan-- tolerate high school, get into MIT
168
00:11:27,351 --> 00:11:33,667
No. We need a plan for this weekend. The parentals are out of town, right? So what do the kids do when the parentals go away?
169
00:11:33,668 --> 00:11:36,969
Stay up late, play video games, leave dishes in the sink. Don't worry. I'm all over this.
170
00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:42,187
Luke, I need you to be a little more ambitious here. I'm thinking...a party.
171
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,433
A party? Like with kids our age?
172
00:11:46,434 --> 00:11:55,056
No, like with a bouncy castle. Yes, dawg boy. A party with actual people of the opposite sex like...Grace Polk.
173
00:11:55,057 --> 00:11:58,272
I admit I'm intrigued, but who'd come?
174
00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:04,260
I don't know. Don't these things just kind of happen?
175
00:12:04,261 --> 00:12:06,972
All I need you to do is take care of the music.
176
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,974
Did mom and dad approve this?
177
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Of course not. It's clandestine.
178
00:12:13,811 --> 00:12:17,990
Well, what about Kevin? I mean, isn't he supposed to be in charge?
179
00:12:17,991 --> 00:12:24,893
It's Saturday night. His basketball night. He goes out with the guys after and never gets home before midnight. We'll kick everyone out by then.
180
00:12:26,193 --> 00:12:28,145
Ok, what about food and stuff?
181
00:12:28,146 --> 00:12:30,906
Huge bag of chips. Beverages I need to think about.
182
00:12:30,907 --> 00:12:34,699
Hey. Do I detect bacon?
183
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:37,763
Uh, yeah, sure. It's yours.
184
00:12:41,223 --> 00:12:42,634
What's up?
185
00:12:42,635 --> 00:12:43,642
Nothing.
186
00:12:43,643 --> 00:12:45,312
Uh, we were discussing chemistry.
187
00:12:46,352 --> 00:12:47,718
Forget it.
188
00:12:48,552 --> 00:12:49,543
What?
189
00:12:49,544 --> 00:12:50,805
You're not having a party.
190
00:12:50,806 --> 00:12:55,710
Ha ha! A party. That's a good one.
191
00:12:55,711 --> 00:12:57,491
You think I haven't been your age?
192
00:12:57,492 --> 00:13:00,680
Kevin, look at us. Rocket boy and the sub-defective.
193
00:13:00,681 --> 00:13:02,656
Like we even have anyone to invite.
194
00:13:04,568 --> 00:13:07,540
That's true. I'm reassured.
195
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:13,237
Well, hey, it's not that unthinkable.
196
00:13:13,708 --> 00:13:21,273
You have all our numbers, including dad's cell and pager. Do your homework, get to school on time, and I think this goes without saying-- no parties.
197
00:13:21,274 --> 00:13:24,306
I've already covered this. They are very unpopular.
198
00:13:24,307 --> 00:13:25,895
Oh, good. Really?
199
00:13:25,896 --> 00:13:27,091
Let's go. There's going to be traffic.
200
00:13:27,092 --> 00:13:29,611
Kevin's in charge. Is that clear?
201
00:13:29,612 --> 00:13:31,329
Enjoy your body treatments.
202
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:33,372
No one's getting wrapped.
203
00:13:33,373 --> 00:13:34,575
I might.
204
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:42,301
They'll never make it the whole weekend.
205
00:13:44,874 --> 00:13:46,068
Sure they will.
206
00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:05,539
I have an idea.
207
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:06,665
Mm-hmm.
208
00:14:06,666 --> 00:14:10,656
We take the research piece that you did, and turn it into an essay.
209
00:14:12,859 --> 00:14:15,034
And why would we do that?
210
00:14:15,035 --> 00:14:17,928
So I can run it in the arts and entertainment section next Sunday.
211
00:14:19,674 --> 00:14:23,852
I want you to lead with the idea that a teenage boy's sneakers are the equivalent to his first car.
212
00:14:23,853 --> 00:14:27,967
Whoa. You're talking about me writing a piece with a byline and everything?
213
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:28,968
I'm not a writer.
214
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,370
Sure you are.
215
00:14:30,371 --> 00:14:33,853
But essay writing? That's, like, the best job.
216
00:14:33,854 --> 00:14:36,203
You have staffers elbowing for that.
217
00:14:36,204 --> 00:14:37,384
Right.
218
00:14:37,385 --> 00:14:38,792
I'm a fact checker.
219
00:14:38,793 --> 00:14:43,255
Kevin, I am offering you an opportunity here.
220
00:14:43,256 --> 00:14:46,555
My advice is to take it. Let me handle the infighting.
221
00:14:46,556 --> 00:14:51,413
I'll help you with it. How about...Saturday night?
222
00:14:52,217 --> 00:14:54,084
I can't. It's basketball night.
223
00:14:56,186 --> 00:14:59,723
I could... cancel basketball?
224
00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:03,524
Thank you. We'll start around 6:00 when the day shift clocks out.
225
00:15:08,573 --> 00:15:10,516
Maybe we should pass out fliers.
226
00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:12,863
Right, right. Then Price finds out and shuts us down.
227
00:15:12,864 --> 00:15:15,728
I don't think we can rely on word of mouth.
228
00:15:15,729 --> 00:15:17,897
In case you haven't noticed, we're not cool.
229
00:15:17,898 --> 00:15:19,620
I thought you were cool.
230
00:15:19,621 --> 00:15:20,597
No, I'm not.
231
00:15:20,598 --> 00:15:22,184
Oh, we're in big trouble then.
232
00:15:22,185 --> 00:15:23,349
Are you guys having a party?
233
00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:24,396
What?
234
00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:27,764
It's all over school-- big party at Girardi's house tomorrow night.
235
00:15:27,765 --> 00:15:29,751
I told Friedman, and nobody listens to him.
236
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,035
So am I invited, or what?
237
00:15:32,036 --> 00:15:33,460
Well, of course.
238
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I hate parties.
239
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:35,994
It's a different kind of party.
240
00:15:35,995 --> 00:15:37,311
Latest head count's 75.
241
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:39,119
75 people?
242
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,892
Were you expecting zoo animals?
243
00:15:40,893 --> 00:15:43,240
20 seniors are confirmed!
244
00:15:43,241 --> 00:15:49,226
Whoa, w-w-wait a minute. We haven't even talked about this. What are we gonna serve?
245
00:15:49,227 --> 00:15:50,618
I heard there was gonna be a keg.
246
00:15:50,619 --> 00:15:52,004
Possibly 2.
247
00:15:54,076 --> 00:15:55,439
Every party needs a keg.
248
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,049
Gerardi, you do know what you're getting into?
249
00:16:00,050 --> 00:16:01,150
Of course I do.
250
00:16:05,979 --> 00:16:09,308
Yo, Jane... you're having a party?
251
00:16:09,309 --> 00:16:12,929
Ha ha. Yeah, I guess I am.
252
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:15,207
Am I invited?
253
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,675
Sure. I want you to come.
254
00:16:17,507 --> 00:16:23,888
Am I coming as a guy who knows the girl who's throwing the party? or...
255
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,029
maybe we should talk about this later.
256
00:16:27,030 --> 00:16:28,670
Talk about what?
257
00:16:28,671 --> 00:16:29,999
Chemistry, yo.
258
00:16:55,373 --> 00:16:59,415
I wonder if the sound of ringing up our credit card will be too much for them.
259
00:16:59,416 --> 00:17:00,490
Shh.
260
00:17:02,511 --> 00:17:09,400
Hello. Allow me to welcome you to the willow hills spa and well-being center. Do you have luggage?
261
00:17:09,401 --> 00:17:11,135
Yeah, we have some bags in the car.
262
00:17:11,136 --> 00:17:12,990
No need to shout, sir.
263
00:17:16,580 --> 00:17:19,549
Reservation for 2.
264
00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:25,599
Oh, yes. I see you here. If I can just make an imprint of your credit card.
265
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:31,520
Excuse me, sir. Are you carrying a firearm?
266
00:17:31,521 --> 00:17:33,253
Yes. I'm a police officer.
267
00:17:33,254 --> 00:17:37,897
This is a peaceful atmosphere. We don't allow guns.
268
00:17:37,898 --> 00:17:39,534
It's an aspect of my profession.
269
00:17:39,535 --> 00:17:43,284
Be that as it may, we don't allow weapons.
270
00:17:43,285 --> 00:17:45,211
I'm a police officer.
271
00:17:45,212 --> 00:17:47,158
Be that as it may, sir.
272
00:17:47,159 --> 00:17:49,099
Why does he keep saying that?
273
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,308
You can leave it in the car.
274
00:17:51,309 --> 00:17:52,872
No, I can't.
275
00:17:53,718 --> 00:17:55,501
This is a spa, sir.
276
00:17:55,502 --> 00:17:59,484
The last time I surrendered my weapon, I nearly died.
277
00:17:59,485 --> 00:18:01,215
Be that as it may.
278
00:18:02,287 --> 00:18:05,224
I'm a police officer, for god's sake.
279
00:18:05,225 --> 00:18:13,122
We have to ask you to lock your weapon in our safe, and even in doing that, we will be violating certain agreements.
280
00:18:13,123 --> 00:18:16,009
I'm not surrendering my weapon again.
281
00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:19,797
Violence offends us.
282
00:18:19,798 --> 00:18:25,846
It offends me, too, which is why I won't give up my weapon. Take us or leave us.
283
00:18:47,937 --> 00:18:51,061
I hear they have really good food here.
284
00:18:57,424 --> 00:19:02,238
Every day, cheese, butter, milk, and cream. Finally, I said enough.
285
00:19:02,239 --> 00:19:04,476
I thought this was a quiet place.
286
00:19:04,695 --> 00:19:04,937
Will.
287
00:19:06,905 --> 00:19:09,883
My sinuses are as open as a church on Christmas.
288
00:19:11,148 --> 00:19:13,380
Just listen to me breathe. You hear how the air moves in and out?
289
00:19:13,381 --> 00:19:14,862
I'd like to move his air in and out.
290
00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:18,440
I think I'll sign us both up for the Native American treatment.
291
00:19:18,441 --> 00:19:23,752
What's that? They gently drag us through the sand by our hair until our skin is flayed?
292
00:19:23,753 --> 00:19:31,301
And then later, we're gently reassigned to gambling casinos in Arizona. Helen, I don't spa well. This you know.
293
00:19:31,302 --> 00:19:34,986
Ok, I will sign you up for a basic aromatherapy massage.
294
00:19:34,987 --> 00:19:36,467
Aromatherapy?
295
00:19:36,468 --> 00:19:43,832
And all that red meat you were feeding me? That's what caused my colon crisis. I'm lucky I'm not dead because of the red meat.
296
00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:44,884
Colon crisis?
297
00:19:44,885 --> 00:19:48,408
Keep it together. Here's your chai tea.
298
00:19:48,409 --> 00:19:50,594
Do I really need to hear about his colon crisis?
299
00:19:50,595 --> 00:19:51,334
Will!
300
00:19:51,335 --> 00:19:54,414
He's talking about his ass in public, and you're my wife.
301
00:19:57,392 --> 00:20:02,422
Hey! Hey, roscoe! Yeah, talk Loud. I'm in the healing waters here.
302
00:20:03,939 --> 00:20:10,944
Load me up on the pharmaco. Yeah, and don't short me. Right, I know it's a risk. What the hell's another condo in Florida? You know what I'm saying?
303
00:20:10,945 --> 00:20:12,876
Excuse me, sir? This is a quiet place.
304
00:20:12,877 --> 00:20:13,460
Will!
305
00:20:13,461 --> 00:20:15,339
Hold on, roscoe. What was that?
306
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:16,328
Nothing.
307
00:20:16,329 --> 00:20:28,803
It's just that when they asked me to check my gun, they explained it was because this is a quiet, peace-loving place. So why do I have to hear about your stock portfolios, let alone your colon crisis?
308
00:20:28,804 --> 00:20:31,372
You had to check your gun? Who are you?
309
00:20:31,373 --> 00:20:34,388
Here, honey. Chai tea. Never mind him.
310
00:20:34,389 --> 00:20:36,416
That's right. Never mind me.
311
00:20:36,417 --> 00:20:38,761
Hey, listen, buddy, I have a right to talk.
312
00:20:38,762 --> 00:20:43,797
I'm conducting business here. Maybe you're free to lounge around, but some of us, we have to work for a living.
313
00:20:43,798 --> 00:20:45,008
Oh, I don't work for a living?
314
00:20:45,009 --> 00:20:52,610
No, no, no, no. I'm still here, roscoe. There's some girly man here in the spa who's in my face, like I need this.
315
00:20:52,611 --> 00:20:54,172
Helen.
316
00:20:54,173 --> 00:20:55,043
Will.
317
00:20:59,181 --> 00:21:01,918
Go on. Have a seat. Have a seat.
318
00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:06,004
This is a bad idea.
319
00:21:06,005 --> 00:21:08,293
We're having a party, dude. You can't have a party without beverages.
320
00:21:08,294 --> 00:21:09,691
Joan, we're underage.
321
00:21:09,692 --> 00:21:12,524
Oh, like this whole thing was my idea?
322
00:21:12,857 --> 00:21:14,774
If it wasn't your idea, then whose--
323
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:20,170
look, just go to the snack section, ok?
324
00:21:27,967 --> 00:21:34,378
Hi. I need a keg...or 2. Uh, you sell those, right?
325
00:21:34,379 --> 00:21:35,780
Yep.
326
00:21:35,781 --> 00:21:40,563
It's for an office party, at the place where I work... with people my age.
327
00:21:40,564 --> 00:21:46,239
Older people. Um, so how much for a keg, and do you deliver?
328
00:21:47,629 --> 00:21:49,000
I need to see some I.D.
329
00:21:49,015 --> 00:21:56,101
Oh come on I'm 23. I'll pay you in cash.
330
00:21:58,878 --> 00:22:00,487
There's something in it for you?
331
00:22:00,488 --> 00:22:05,816
Fraud and bribery. Not bad for a 16-year-old.
332
00:22:07,394 --> 00:22:08,815
God smokes?
333
00:22:08,816 --> 00:22:13,454
I don't inhale. What makes you think you need beer for a party?
334
00:22:15,676 --> 00:22:16,802
The kids at school--
335
00:22:16,803 --> 00:22:23,660
6-packs of soda in a big ice bucket, family-size bags of Doritos and funyuns, a stereo that works. You're done.
336
00:22:23,661 --> 00:22:28,022
What do you think about bean dip? It's a cliche, but, you know, it's a crowd-pleaser.
337
00:22:28,023 --> 00:22:30,078
Let's go. We're not buying anything from here.
338
00:22:30,079 --> 00:22:31,479
We aren't?
339
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:35,153
No. The master of the universe here carded me.
340
00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:37,008
I told you that office party scheme wouldn't fly.
341
00:22:37,009 --> 00:22:40,750
Joan? You did invite Adam?
342
00:22:40,751 --> 00:22:41,997
Sure.
343
00:22:41,998 --> 00:22:44,590
And he realizes you're inviting him?
344
00:22:45,862 --> 00:22:46,939
As in a date?
345
00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:48,428
Figure it out.
346
00:22:48,856 --> 00:22:51,935
- I'm sorry. He's approving the guest list?
- One foot in front of the other.
347
00:22:56,820 --> 00:22:58,318
It is a split infinitive!
348
00:22:58,319 --> 00:22:59,567
It's what I wanted to say!
349
00:22:59,568 --> 00:23:03,387
Well, I'm all for that, but can't you say what you want without violating the English language?
350
00:23:03,388 --> 00:23:06,233
Well, I don't know. I don't have a big honkin' education like you do.
351
00:23:06,234 --> 00:23:11,173
Oh, please. You're gonna have to try harder than that. She'll call back. Stay focused.
352
00:23:11,174 --> 00:23:14,670
What she? I'm in charge of my siblings this weekend. My parents are out of town.
353
00:23:14,671 --> 00:23:16,576
Your siblings?
354
00:23:16,577 --> 00:23:17,953
I'm in charge.
355
00:23:17,954 --> 00:23:19,842
Do you really care if they have a party?
356
00:23:21,495 --> 00:23:22,605
I'm supposed to.
357
00:23:22,606 --> 00:23:28,769
Here's what you're in charge of-- your career. That is what I am trying to give you, but if you don't want it, I can't help you.
358
00:23:28,770 --> 00:23:30,509
Who says I don't want it?
359
00:23:33,409 --> 00:23:35,210
Don't make trouble.
360
00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:39,642
Are we even talking about the article anymore?
361
00:23:39,643 --> 00:23:41,819
Yes, we are.
362
00:24:25,075 --> 00:24:27,389
You, uh, here for a treatment?
363
00:24:27,390 --> 00:24:28,678
Yes.
364
00:24:29,702 --> 00:24:31,676
Me, too.
365
00:24:35,005 --> 00:24:37,413
Are we supposed to ring a bell or anything?
366
00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:40,706
This is the quiet room.
367
00:24:41,876 --> 00:24:48,768
Right. So if we just stay quiet, somebody will come and get us?
368
00:24:48,769 --> 00:24:50,208
That's the idea.
369
00:24:55,171 --> 00:24:56,930
What are you having?
370
00:24:58,665 --> 00:25:01,362
Shut...up.
371
00:25:12,831 --> 00:25:14,290
Oh, my god.
372
00:25:14,291 --> 00:25:16,399
Yeah.
373
00:25:17,272 --> 00:25:18,691
Who are these people?
374
00:25:18,692 --> 00:25:21,389
I have no idea. They must be popular.
375
00:25:21,390 --> 00:25:22,613
Did you pay them?
376
00:25:22,614 --> 00:25:24,206
No. I considered it.
377
00:25:27,106 --> 00:25:32,502
Looks like they're actually dancing... and having fun.
378
00:25:32,503 --> 00:25:34,787
Isn't this what you expected?
379
00:25:34,788 --> 00:25:40,880
Hey, I just do what I'm told, dude. Look, grace is here.
380
00:25:52,406 --> 00:25:55,015
Hi. Uh, Luke will take your coats.
381
00:25:55,653 --> 00:25:56,374
What am I?
382
00:25:56,375 --> 00:26:00,144
Fascinating. It's like A... druid solstice ritual without the viscera.
383
00:26:00,145 --> 00:26:01,616
Stick around. The night is young.
384
00:26:03,749 --> 00:26:05,699
I need salt.
385
00:26:09,504 --> 00:26:10,239
Hey.
386
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:14,378
Hi. I have to host, so...
387
00:26:14,379 --> 00:26:15,903
sure.
388
00:26:15,904 --> 00:26:16,936
Ok.
389
00:26:21,532 --> 00:26:26,610
Hey! There are plenty of chips in the living room, ok? This is like people food.
390
00:26:26,611 --> 00:26:28,644
Dude, check out my bratwurst.
391
00:26:28,645 --> 00:26:33,692
Hey, hey, that is my dad's Italian salami that he has flown in from, like, new jersey.
392
00:26:37,371 --> 00:26:40,925
Um, if you order a pizza, everyone will calm down.
393
00:26:40,926 --> 00:26:42,677
Pizza? That works?
394
00:26:42,678 --> 00:26:45,517
Somehow, it soothes the savage breast.
395
00:26:47,370 --> 00:26:51,540
Yeah. Hold that thought. Grace, can you-- can you help here?
396
00:26:51,541 --> 00:26:52,914
Apparently not.
397
00:26:57,203 --> 00:26:58,379
Hello?
398
00:26:58,380 --> 00:26:59,429
Hey, dude.
399
00:26:59,430 --> 00:27:01,035
Kevin, hey.
400
00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:02,635
What's goin' on?
401
00:27:02,636 --> 00:27:05,446
Oh, you know, man. Just, um, raiding the fridge.
402
00:27:05,447 --> 00:27:06,534
With who?
403
00:27:06,535 --> 00:27:10,589
Uh, Grace. Grace is here, and Adam's here somewhere.
404
00:27:10,590 --> 00:27:14,358
Sounds loud. You guys aren't doing anything stupid, are you?
405
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,225
No, definitely not.
406
00:27:16,226 --> 00:27:19,456
Good, because I'd hate to have to come and check on you.
407
00:27:19,457 --> 00:27:25,702
And I'd hate to find a party in the house. And Id hate to have to tell mom and dad.
408
00:27:25,703 --> 00:27:29,844
Everything's fine. God, Kevin, you know me. I'm more responsible than Margaret Thatcher.
409
00:27:29,845 --> 00:27:34,202
Yeah, well, keep it that way, or else I'm coming home.
410
00:27:34,203 --> 00:27:35,317
Don't worry.
411
00:27:36,341 --> 00:27:37,708
Dude, champagne!
412
00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:52,113
Will? Is this a bad time?
413
00:27:52,114 --> 00:27:54,626
Uh, well, it's a quiet time.
414
00:27:54,627 --> 00:27:59,167
I won't keep you. I just wanted to let you know, we're moving on this meth lab.
415
00:27:59,168 --> 00:28:00,209
What?!
416
00:28:00,210 --> 00:28:05,169
Roebuck made the call. They got tipped off, and they're packing up. We have to go in tonight.
417
00:28:05,170 --> 00:28:07,760
I'm uncomfortable with this. Let me talk to roebuck.
418
00:28:07,761 --> 00:28:12,909
He's at the station. I'm here with Carlisle. Will, he left it up to me. Are you telling me to back off?
419
00:28:12,910 --> 00:28:19,540
Dammit! I'm s-- I'm saying wait. Wait at least an hour until I can get to a real phone or a real place.
420
00:28:19,541 --> 00:28:21,426
Ok, buddy! Off, now!
421
00:28:21,427 --> 00:28:22,355
Please, I'm a cop.
422
00:28:22,356 --> 00:28:25,986
I'm an investment banker, and you shut me down. And this is the quiet room.
423
00:28:25,987 --> 00:28:28,716
I know it's the quiet room. That's why I'm being quiet.
424
00:28:28,717 --> 00:28:31,241
I'll take care of this. I know the manager, all right?
425
00:28:31,242 --> 00:28:36,042
Fine. Just get out of my face. I'd just walk away if I were you.
426
00:28:36,043 --> 00:28:37,440
Give me that--
427
00:28:58,255 --> 00:29:00,422
Ordinarily, we would ask you to leave.
428
00:29:00,423 --> 00:29:09,101
Such is our policy for anyone who participates in acts even remotely related to violence here at willow hills spa and well-being center.
429
00:29:09,102 --> 00:29:15,166
But because of the hour and the fact that you're paid in full, we will grant a dispensation.
430
00:29:15,167 --> 00:29:16,043
He started it.
431
00:29:16,044 --> 00:29:25,239
I don't care who started it, sir! You participated. And I've had my eye on you from the beginning. Oh, yes, Mr. Gun-in-your-armpit.
432
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:26,532
It was on my belt.
433
00:29:26,533 --> 00:29:28,289
He is a cop.
434
00:29:28,290 --> 00:29:31,334
Yes. Everyone is painfully aware.
435
00:29:31,335 --> 00:29:38,816
Now, I'm respectfully requesting that you remain in your room for the rest of the evening and that you leave first thing tomorrow morning.
436
00:29:38,817 --> 00:29:40,072
He's grounding us?
437
00:29:40,073 --> 00:29:43,037
If that's how you choose to see it.
438
00:29:43,038 --> 00:29:44,494
Why don't we just leave?
439
00:29:44,495 --> 00:29:45,939
And give him the satisfaction?
440
00:29:45,940 --> 00:29:50,101
I was thinking of my satisfaction, but apparently I'm the only one.
441
00:29:50,102 --> 00:29:52,018
I'm sorry, honey. There was a situation.
442
00:29:52,019 --> 00:29:53,577
Be that as it may--
443
00:29:53,578 --> 00:30:02,687
oh, shut up! Look, you hate being here. You didn't wanna come. Obviously, spending some quiet time with me is not top of your list--
444
00:30:02,688 --> 00:30:06,950
Helen, you're wrong about that. And please don't use the word quiet.
445
00:30:06,951 --> 00:30:15,349
Let's just forget it and get outta here. It's late. You're tired. I'm tired. Let's stay. Can we order room service?
446
00:30:15,350 --> 00:30:23,834
We do not offer room service. There's a delicious vegan restaurant on the premises, but--oops. I forgot.
447
00:30:23,835 --> 00:30:27,357
You're forbidden to go there.
448
00:30:32,630 --> 00:30:38,154
If you're hungry, I suggest you just chew on the consequences of your actions.
449
00:30:45,476 --> 00:30:49,269
Chew on the consequences of your actions?
450
00:30:52,464 --> 00:30:54,514
I'm still mad at you.
451
00:31:03,326 --> 00:31:06,105
Oh, man. Here's Luke in a little Dalmatian outfit.
452
00:31:06,106 --> 00:31:07,696
Oh! Look at his little ears!
453
00:31:07,697 --> 00:31:10,425
It was Halloween. I was 3! Put that away--
454
00:31:10,426 --> 00:31:11,426
hey--let me see.
455
00:31:11,427 --> 00:31:13,210
The colour palette suits you.
456
00:31:13,211 --> 00:31:16,377
Dude, your sister's, like, naked.
457
00:31:16,378 --> 00:31:17,475
She's a baby!
458
00:31:19,545 --> 00:31:26,537
Hey! What are you doing? No, no, no! Gimme those! Get out! Get out! Luke, people are raiding the liquor cabinet.
459
00:31:26,538 --> 00:31:27,584
Yeah, I know.
460
00:31:27,585 --> 00:31:28,770
Why didn't you stop them?
461
00:31:28,771 --> 00:31:29,895
Like I can.
462
00:31:29,896 --> 00:31:31,348
Look at the legs on her.
463
00:31:31,349 --> 00:31:32,861
Are those my baby pictures?
464
00:31:32,862 --> 00:31:34,718
Impressive use of fat.
465
00:31:34,719 --> 00:31:36,026
This is a nightmare!
466
00:31:37,193 --> 00:31:38,154
Hey. Do you wanna dance?
467
00:31:38,155 --> 00:31:38,854
What?!
468
00:31:38,855 --> 00:31:40,489
Uh...dance. With me.
469
00:31:40,490 --> 00:31:42,858
Adam, I can't! I'm at a party here, ok?
470
00:31:47,643 --> 00:31:49,254
Just thought I'd ask.
471
00:31:57,494 --> 00:31:59,586
Sure are makin' a lot of marks.
472
00:31:59,587 --> 00:32:02,456
It's just editorial.
473
00:32:06,739 --> 00:32:08,797
It's really good, Kevin.
474
00:32:09,741 --> 00:32:10,505
Really?
475
00:32:10,506 --> 00:32:14,345
Yeah. Make these changes and file it.
476
00:32:15,782 --> 00:32:22,541
You're not just cutting me a break? No, of course not, because you're the, uh...person who doesn't cut me a break.
477
00:32:23,450 --> 00:32:24,924
Thank you for trusting me.
478
00:32:27,338 --> 00:32:31,032
Uh, don't make me get up out of this chair.
479
00:32:31,559 --> 00:32:35,868
I'm handicapped, not stupid. I know better than to let a beautiful woman walk away.
480
00:32:40,728 --> 00:32:42,183
We work together.
481
00:32:42,184 --> 00:32:43,670
So?
482
00:32:43,671 --> 00:32:48,583
So... it would be professionally unsound.
483
00:32:51,169 --> 00:32:53,047
I've done stupider things.
484
00:32:57,144 --> 00:32:59,771
It doesn't matter how much you weigh. I can't feel it.
485
00:33:04,219 --> 00:33:11,671
Thanks for...this. For everything. I mean it.
486
00:33:13,848 --> 00:33:17,665
You're welcome. I mean it.
487
00:33:41,679 --> 00:33:43,969
So we goin' in?
488
00:33:43,970 --> 00:33:45,520
I'm still waiting for the call.
489
00:33:48,484 --> 00:33:50,087
He's not the chief anymore.
490
00:33:53,535 --> 00:34:10,175
Williams. I'm on a stakeout. Are you really calling me on a noise complaint? That's Will Girardi's address. I don't know. I'll take care of it.
491
00:34:13,078 --> 00:34:15,947
Are we really leaving this on a noise complaint?
492
00:34:15,948 --> 00:34:20,117
It's our boss' house. It could be noise. It could be something else.
493
00:34:31,172 --> 00:34:40,992
And that's a "q," and that's 24 points, and if I understand the rules, you should be removing something... right now.
494
00:34:45,553 --> 00:34:48,194
I'm still mad at you.
495
00:34:48,195 --> 00:34:51,876
No, you're not. You don't understand. You weren't there.
496
00:34:52,925 --> 00:34:55,570
You punched out a guy in a robe!
497
00:34:55,571 --> 00:34:57,125
Hey, I was in a robe, too.
498
00:34:58,087 --> 00:35:01,339
That is just... not like you, will.
499
00:35:01,340 --> 00:35:06,066
Nothing since you were taken hostage has been like you.
500
00:35:06,067 --> 00:35:07,173
Oh, really?
501
00:35:08,166 --> 00:35:10,743
Is this what they call post-traumatic stress?
502
00:35:10,744 --> 00:35:13,817
Like I care what they call it...
503
00:35:17,179 --> 00:35:18,411
the man...
504
00:35:19,893 --> 00:35:22,189
held a gun to my head.
505
00:35:24,826 --> 00:35:27,006
He was about to pull the trigger.
506
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,763
I knew I was gonna die.
507
00:35:39,479 --> 00:35:42,976
So I did the whole life review.
508
00:35:44,895 --> 00:35:46,755
I saw you and the kids.
509
00:35:48,157 --> 00:35:53,827
I said good-bye to you. I said... I'm sorry.
510
00:35:56,913 --> 00:36:02,782
I pictured you all carrying on without me...
511
00:36:02,783 --> 00:36:06,399
because knew you'd be ok.
512
00:36:09,181 --> 00:36:16,596
What kind of man am I? I was willing to leave my family.
513
00:36:19,429 --> 00:36:22,977
My god. Will...
514
00:36:28,432 --> 00:36:30,201
but what could I do?
515
00:36:52,242 --> 00:36:59,534
Lets go, Lets Go. No upstairs. It's not that kind of party.
516
00:37:05,671 --> 00:37:07,069
Do these things ever end?
517
00:37:08,967 --> 00:37:13,303
Eventually... people pass out.
518
00:37:14,870 --> 00:37:15,969
Do you wanna dance?
519
00:37:15,970 --> 00:37:18,039
No. I want all these people to go home!
520
00:37:19,936 --> 00:37:21,498
Do you want a drink?
521
00:37:23,568 --> 00:37:25,468
Love some water.
522
00:37:25,469 --> 00:37:26,832
Done.
523
00:37:36,475 --> 00:37:37,921
Wanna dance?
524
00:37:41,456 --> 00:37:42,606
Can I say no?
525
00:37:42,607 --> 00:37:45,490
Of course you can.
526
00:37:47,268 --> 00:37:48,494
Come on.
527
00:37:56,817 --> 00:37:58,266
So how did you like your party?
528
00:37:59,109 --> 00:38:01,095
I don't. What's the big idea?
529
00:38:01,096 --> 00:38:06,053
The big idea is recreation. You know what that means?
530
00:38:06,054 --> 00:38:07,032
Whatever.
531
00:38:07,033 --> 00:38:11,606
Well, let's break the word down, shall we? Re-create.
532
00:38:11,607 --> 00:38:16,985
To create...again. Begin again. To start over.
533
00:38:16,986 --> 00:38:29,520
People need to do that. Work is fine, but... every now and then, you've gotta take a break and re-create. Adam is confused.
534
00:38:29,521 --> 00:38:31,071
Adam is always confused.
535
00:38:31,072 --> 00:38:34,322
Ok. Well, you're introducing new levels of confusion.
536
00:38:34,323 --> 00:38:36,822
I'm not ready to couple.
537
00:38:37,205 --> 00:38:38,513
So tell him.
538
00:38:49,742 --> 00:38:54,901
Remember, recreation isn't about relaxing. It's about re-defining.
539
00:38:54,902 --> 00:38:56,588
Redefining what?
540
00:38:56,589 --> 00:38:58,625
Whatever's become undefined.
541
00:39:00,169 --> 00:39:03,594
Shouldn't you be a better dancer?
542
00:39:05,348 --> 00:39:09,084
Excuse me. your... almightiness.
543
00:39:15,187 --> 00:39:20,331
I'm sergeant Williams. We received a noise complaint. Think it's about time to break things up.
544
00:39:20,332 --> 00:39:32,735
Thank god. Everybody, the police are here! Time to get out! Come on! Clear out! Thank you for that.
545
00:39:32,736 --> 00:39:34,679
I work with your father.
546
00:39:35,951 --> 00:39:39,338
Uh, you're not gonna... you're not gonna tell him, are you?
547
00:39:41,393 --> 00:39:43,745
He has enough on his mind.
548
00:39:44,585 --> 00:39:45,602
Thank you.
549
00:39:49,105 --> 00:40:01,499
A big explosion in arcadia tonight. An abandoned house literally went up in a mushroom cloud. Reports just in from Arcadia say that the police were about to move in on this location, which they long suspected to be a Methamphetamine lab...
550
00:40:22,409 --> 00:40:28,998
Sergeant Williams. No, will, I'm fine. Everyone's fine.
551
00:40:58,238 --> 00:41:01,259
Hey. What are you doing out here?
552
00:41:02,333 --> 00:41:04,565
Waiting for my father to pick me up.
553
00:41:06,140 --> 00:41:07,690
Uh...are you ok?
554
00:41:09,231 --> 00:41:10,987
Yeah, Joan, I'm fine.
555
00:41:14,083 --> 00:41:16,507
I liked it better when you called me Jane.
556
00:41:17,669 --> 00:41:19,238
Those days are over.
557
00:41:24,940 --> 00:41:26,553
Why are you mad at me?
558
00:41:32,097 --> 00:41:40,524
I don't know. Maybe...
559
00:41:42,111 --> 00:41:44,760
maybe I'm bad at stuff like this.
560
00:41:44,761 --> 00:41:48,672
But we kissed.
561
00:41:49,671 --> 00:41:59,221
It's not exactly like I've kissed a lot of girls. Maybe I've only kissed one.
562
00:42:00,594 --> 00:42:02,257
Right.
563
00:42:03,801 --> 00:42:05,843
Well, maybe it meant something to me.
564
00:42:05,844 --> 00:42:07,819
Maybe it meant something to me, too.
565
00:42:11,187 --> 00:42:16,086
I don't... I don't know what to do with it now.
566
00:42:20,263 --> 00:42:21,977
Me, neither.
567
00:42:25,678 --> 00:42:31,997
You know, maybe it was like that, uh... anti-drug guy says.
568
00:42:31,998 --> 00:42:37,664
Romantic love, it's like a mental illness.
569
00:42:39,275 --> 00:42:41,980
It just happens, you know? And then what are you gonna do?
570
00:42:49,169 --> 00:42:51,480
Maybe we just aren't ready.
571
00:42:55,553 --> 00:42:58,083
Yeah.
572
00:42:58,084 --> 00:43:03,496
Ok, I accept that. But were you ready for that other guy?
573
00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:08,880
That's different.
574
00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:25,131
Hey... you want to dance?
575
00:43:26,032 --> 00:43:28,000
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