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1
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:17,768
( theme song playing )
2
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:58,308
( planes droning )
3
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,239
HOGAN:
Krauts have hit one of them.
4
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,157
He's bailing out!
5
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,494
Chute at about three o'clock
from here.
6
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:18,912
That's in
the woods, Colonel.
7
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,330
All right, let's go.
8
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:34,177
( gunfire )
9
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,096
HOGAN:
Hold your fire!
10
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:37,973
Kommen Zie aus!
11
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:41,184
Hands up-- mach schnell!
12
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,311
Oh, his German's bloody awful.
13
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,188
We'd better do it
his way-- let's go.
14
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,482
All right, come on, get out
of there, all you guys!
15
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,610
With your hands up!
Now stop right there.
16
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,154
All right, who are you?
17
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,447
( yells in German )
18
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,698
We're from
the insurance company.
19
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:55,824
Put the cannon
away, buddy.
20
00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:02,456
Holy cow, it's
a general... sir!
21
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,707
Colonel Robert Hogan.
22
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:06,209
Ah... Al Sharp.
23
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,544
Tiny bugger,
ain't he?
24
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:09,421
He doesn't look
that small to me.
25
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:10,630
Are you all right, General?
26
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,132
Oh, a little shook
up back there.
27
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,467
Lousy place to land.
28
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,551
What outfit are you?
29
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:16,219
We're a sabotage and
intelligence unit.
30
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,180
We work out of
a P.O.W. camp
31
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,806
about five miles
over the hill.
32
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,516
P.O.W. camp?
33
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,894
Ha! I don't believe it.
34
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,021
We're going to have
to hide you there-- Baker, LeBeau,
35
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,355
take care of
the parachute, huh?
36
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,023
Oui, colonel.
37
00:02:28,064 --> 00:02:29,107
Carter?
38
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,859
Carter...
39
00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:31,902
Take the lead.
40
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:32,903
Yes, sir.
41
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:34,488
General, if you'll
follow me, sir.
42
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,238
Okay, son.
43
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,410
That's the smallest
general I ever saw.
44
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,578
Maybe we ought
to throw him back.
45
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:58,053
( violin playing"Liebestraum" horribly )
46
00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:00,222
( playing"Liebestraum" horribly )
47
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:24,079
Oh, how lovely, Wilhelm.
48
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,122
Oh, such... feeling!
49
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,083
Danke, my dear Karen,
danke.
50
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:32,462
Beautiful, Herr Kommandant,
beau-ti-ful.
51
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:35,966
Herr Kommandant, may I applaud?
52
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,467
Oh, carry on!
53
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:38,176
Danke.
54
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,181
Fräulien.
55
00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:44,349
Danke.
56
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,892
Herr Kommandant.
57
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:46,726
Danke, Schultz.
58
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,898
Danke, Schultz!
59
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:55,652
You make such
beautiful music, Wilhelm.
60
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:59,447
Ah-ha-ha,
we make beautiful music.
61
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:02,784
When I'm with you,
my heart becomes a violin.
62
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:05,412
That's very poetic.
63
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:06,705
Yes, I think so.
64
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,084
( gasps )
65
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,961
Oh, I'm terribly sorry!
66
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,462
Oh, don't give it
another thought.
67
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,297
Accidents will happen
in wartime.
68
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,341
Wait, you can have
Schultz dry it for you.
69
00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:20,051
That's very thoughtful
of you.
70
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,219
I'll be back
in one moment.
71
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:36,776
( door closes )
72
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,615
I slipped into something
73
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,784
a little more comfortable.
74
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,036
Was I gone long?
75
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,912
An eternity.
76
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,331
Shall we have music?
77
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,458
I would love that!
78
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,419
But, oh, it is late.
79
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:57,714
It is never too late
for lovemaking.
80
00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,674
I must remember that.
81
00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:07,223
Oh, Schultz, I must
have forgotten my gloves.
82
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,850
Would you get them
for me?
83
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,560
Jawohl, Fräulien Richter.
84
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,736
How'd it go?
85
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,947
Oh, that violin...
I thought I'd scream.
86
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,867
It's Klink's version of
the Chinese water torture.
87
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,327
Anything interesting?
88
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,953
Yeah, there was
a set of plans.
89
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,163
He's going to move
the guard towers
90
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,748
back from
the perimeter wire
91
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,291
about 100 feet
into the woods.
92
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:34,334
When?
93
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:35,710
Oh, they start
work immediately.
94
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,463
Oh, murder-- we got
a one-star general to get out of here.
95
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:39,839
He moves
those guard towers,
96
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,341
he's going to block
our tunnel exit.
97
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,635
Nice work, Karen.
98
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,929
We'll call you for
the next violin recital.
99
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,180
Oh, don't bother.
100
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:53,019
Bitte, Fräulien.
101
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:54,270
Danke.
102
00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,148
HOGAN:
We were just getting used
103
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,858
to the guard towers
where they are.
104
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,611
KLINK:
Aha! That is one of the reasons I want them moved.
105
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,821
It will ruin
any escape plans you may have.
106
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:05,031
You're wrong, sir--
107
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,824
they'll just become
a bigger challenge.
108
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,077
Hogan, I invited you
outside this wire
109
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:10,119
only as a courtesy.
110
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,579
I'm not interested
in your opinion.
111
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,456
Ah, you better
think it over, sir.
112
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:15,291
I'm not going
to think it over.
113
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,877
Believe me, I have
many more pressing problems than this.
114
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,129
General Burkhalter
is coming here on an inspection tour.
115
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,423
He's bringing his sister,
Fräu Linkmeier.
116
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,551
The Abominable
Snow Woman, again?
117
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,094
I know...
118
00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:29,514
What is this remarkable
fascination I have for women?
119
00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:32,183
Why do they want me?
Why, Hogan?
120
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,477
Oh... I don't know.
121
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:36,521
Could be your brains,
your charm,
122
00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,189
your wit,
your military bearing.
123
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,190
Yes.
124
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,233
Could be--
I doubt it.
125
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,695
Dis... missed,
Hogan!
126
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:51,077
If only she doesn't throw
her arms around me!
127
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,787
Be brave,
Herr Kommandant.
128
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,635
Guten Tag, Klink.
129
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:09,178
Welcome,
Fräu Linkmeier.
130
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,139
It's a pleasure
to see you again.
131
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,181
Danke.
132
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,518
I would like you
to meet my fiancé.
133
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,186
Major Wolfgang Karp,
134
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,272
this is Colonel Wilhelm Klink,
Commandant.
135
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:20,690
Herr Kommandant.
136
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:23,484
Major Karp, any
fiancé of Gertrude's
137
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,819
is a fiancé of mine--
138
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,154
I mean,
a friend of mine.
139
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,207
To the Führer!
140
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,375
ALL:
To the Führer!
141
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:40,293
Ja, ja.
142
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:47,884
Well, what do you think
of these two, Klink?
143
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:50,553
All the world
loves a lover.
144
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:53,639
I realize this may be
difficult for you, Colonel.
145
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:57,393
Gertrude has told me
you two were... friends.
146
00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,395
Well, that's the way it goes.
147
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,064
One can't win them all.
148
00:08:01,105 --> 00:08:04,067
I have a feeling Klink
will recover.
149
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,736
I cannot tell you
how relieved...
150
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,865
Pleased... pleased I am.
151
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,742
Thank you, Wilhelm.
152
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,411
We will announce
our engagement in a day or two.
153
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,038
Right, Wolfgang?
154
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,247
Right.
155
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:21,250
You know,
General Burkhalter, I have just had
156
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:24,295
what I consider
an absolutely brilliant idea.
157
00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:25,922
That's hard to believe.
158
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:28,049
Allow me the honor
159
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:31,010
of giving the happy couple
their engagement party.
160
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:33,137
Klink!Fabelhaft!
161
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,097
That's very generous,
Colonel.
162
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,432
Oh, it's nothing,
nothing at all.
163
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:40,436
Yes it is, when
it comes out of the camp budget.
164
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:44,774
We accept, Albert...
with pleasure.
165
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,609
Ja, danke.
166
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,529
We will have the visitors'
quarters decorated.
167
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:51,948
One of our prisoners
is an excellent chef.
168
00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,866
All right,
it's settled.
169
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,536
Gertrude, I have
some private business
170
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,621
to discuss with Klink.
171
00:08:58,704 --> 00:08:59,997
Why don't
you take Wolfgang
172
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,958
on a little tour
of the stalag?
173
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:02,834
Ja.
174
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:08,840
Klink.
175
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:16,806
You know, that Wolfgang
176
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,266
is a very lucky fellow.
177
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,308
So am I.
178
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,728
At last she has
a man... I think.
179
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,021
Well, he seemed
very pleasant.
180
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:26,148
Of course, he's not
the type of officer
181
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,818
that I have a great deal
in common with, but...
182
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,403
You will have
something in common.
183
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,487
We will?
184
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,072
Major Wolfgang Karp
185
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:35,825
is going to be
your new adjutant.
186
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,118
He's going to be my new...
187
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,871
General, you can't be serious.
188
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,415
Yes, I am.
189
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,293
It was Gertrude's idea.
190
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,007
That Kraut, adjutant?
191
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,175
Yes, that Kraut.
192
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,176
Hogan...
193
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,720
Sorry, sir, I
was carried away.
194
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,179
I wish I could be.
195
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,348
There's got to be something you
can do about it, Commandant.
196
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,142
It was dear
Fräu Linkmeier's idea.
197
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,352
Well, in that case
don't fight it, you'll lose.
198
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,645
On top of that,
199
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,939
I've got an engagement
party to worry about.
200
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,775
Hogan, could you
and your men help?
201
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,402
Ah, we can't
turn you down.
202
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,571
We've been enemies
for such a long time.
203
00:10:13,654 --> 00:10:14,572
Thank you, Hogan.
204
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,198
I am touched by
your attitude.
205
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:16,949
Yes, sir.
206
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:24,749
Don't come to attention,
I'm just passing through.
207
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,500
Wasn't even
considering it.
208
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:28,461
You can come out now, General.
209
00:10:31,213 --> 00:10:34,050
I never thought I'd ever
have to hide from the enemy.
210
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,385
What's the
situation, Hogan?
211
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,554
We may be able to get you
out of here in a few days.
212
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,847
A few days?
213
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,474
That won't do, mister.
214
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:42,475
Yes, sir.
215
00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:43,476
Those boys of mine
216
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,227
back at the base
are waiting for me.
217
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,729
Now, let's not hold up the war!
218
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:48,856
The Krauts have a new adjutant.
219
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,983
It'll be a little while
before they relax security.
220
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,027
I'd show them how
to relax security
221
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,737
if I were running
this shebang.
222
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:55,946
I'm going below decks.
223
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:00,993
Come on, open up!
224
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,912
Excusez-moi,mon général,wrong bunk.
225
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,877
Let go, Frenchie,
I can handle this.
226
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,256
Hogan, I want
out of here.
227
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,717
Now, get on
the stick or else.
228
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,676
Yes, sir.
229
00:11:36,403 --> 00:11:38,155
And here is a very special
friend of mine,
230
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,240
Fräulein Richter--
231
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,699
Colonel Hogan,
senior P.O.W. officer.
232
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:41,700
Fräulein.
233
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,868
Guten haben,
Colonel.
234
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,371
Very nice party,
even if I say so myself.
235
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,539
I thought
you might.
236
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:47,706
Oh, excuse me--
237
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,291
Schultz is drowning
in the punch bowl again.
238
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:55,005
Is there a chance that
he might play the violin?
239
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,590
When you joined
the underground,
240
00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:58,300
you knew you were
risking torture.
241
00:11:58,342 --> 00:11:59,885
Colonel Hogan!
242
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,595
Oh, here's
the happy couple now.
243
00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:04,306
I think it is time you
met the new adjutant.
244
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:07,643
This is Colonel Hogan,
senior prisoner of war officer.
245
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:08,936
Major,
congratulations.
246
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,521
Ja, danke.
247
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:12,815
You've met
Fräulein Richter?
248
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:15,317
Ja, we have had
the pleasure.
249
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:17,987
Wolfgang, I would like you
to entertain the fräulein.
250
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,989
I would like to speak
to Colonel Hogan.
251
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:21,073
Ja, Gertrude.
252
00:12:21,156 --> 00:12:24,243
Not too much entertainment,
right, Wolfgang?
253
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:25,286
Right.
254
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,040
Hogan, I want to ask
you something.
255
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:33,669
Is Klink upset by Wolfgang
being made the adjutant?
256
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,796
He is taking
Russian lessons.
257
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:40,217
It is possible that
Wolfgang might take Klink's job someday.
258
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,176
Really?
259
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,219
When?
260
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,013
When I say so.
261
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:47,516
Yeah, Klink is worried
about his plan to move the guard towers.
262
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:48,517
Ja?
263
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,852
Why should he worry?
264
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,062
He's afraid some smart
officer like Wolfgang
265
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,648
might find out how
expensive a job it is.
266
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:55,691
Oh, ja?
267
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:56,692
I had no idea.
268
00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:57,776
And tell the general.
269
00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,779
Ja, Albert doesn't like it
270
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,740
when the Luft Stalags
spend money.
271
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:05,618
I don't think Wolfgang
should mention it to your brother.
272
00:13:05,701 --> 00:13:09,872
Ja, but it would be very good
for Wolfgang's career.
273
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,248
You must think
of Klink.
274
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:14,460
Oh, by all means.
275
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,213
Moving the guard towers
is not necessary?
276
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:21,133
Oh, there's never been
a successful escape from Stalag 13.
277
00:13:21,216 --> 00:13:24,136
Ja, so Klink has told me...
278
00:13:24,219 --> 00:13:27,264
and told me and told me.
279
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,932
So the position
of the towers
280
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:30,934
really has nothing
to do with it.
281
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,478
( both chuckle )
282
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,355
I understand.
283
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:36,482
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have
your attention, please?
284
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:42,821
Ladies and gentlemen,
let me now introduce to you
285
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:46,408
one of the great military minds
of the Third Reich,
286
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:50,329
our very own General Burkhalter!
287
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:52,706
( applause )
288
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,336
Danke, Kommandant.
289
00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:01,090
This is a very happy occasion
for me, meine Damen und Herren,
290
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,258
but I am not going
to make a speech.
291
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:04,259
( chuckles )
292
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,387
The general is
so thoughtful.
293
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:09,348
Now, I have the honor
to announce the engagement
294
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:14,269
of my sister Gertrude Linkmeier
to Major Wolfgang Karp.
295
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,271
( applause )
296
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,941
We are all very grateful
for your good wishes,
297
00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:24,696
and I know we will be
very happy, right, Wolfgang?
298
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:25,656
Right.
299
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,369
HOGAN:
Well, they're moving the stuff.
300
00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:31,370
It worked, Colonel.
301
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,454
First break we've had.
302
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:33,038
Good old Gertrude.
303
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:38,085
Baker, contact London, arrange
for a pickup at any time.
304
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,628
They can have
their general back.
305
00:14:39,711 --> 00:14:40,629
Right, Colonel.
306
00:14:40,712 --> 00:14:41,839
Yeah, the sooner,
the better.
307
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,549
He's ready
to court-martial the lot of us.
308
00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:45,300
Carter, LeBeau, use
the emergency tunnel.
309
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,301
Take him out
tonight.
310
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:47,803
The underground can take
him from there.
311
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:48,720
Yes, sir.
312
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:49,930
If the weather
doesn't go bad,
313
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,181
they can probably
send a plane
314
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:51,974
for him
tomorrow night.
315
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,183
And if we're
socked in,
316
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,852
I'll carry him to London
on piggyback.
317
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:55,853
Let's go.
318
00:14:55,936 --> 00:14:56,979
Raus, everybody!
319
00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:58,480
Raus, raus, raus,raus, raus!
320
00:14:58,564 --> 00:14:59,898
What's happening,
Schultz?
321
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,484
Herr Kommandant has an
important announcement to make.
322
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,485
About what?
323
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:04,486
I know...
324
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,487
ALL (chiming in):
...Nothing!
325
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,072
Jolly jokers!
326
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:10,033
SCHULTZ:
Herr Kommandant, all present and accounted for.
327
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,202
KLINK:
Thank you, Schultz.
328
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,621
Gentlemen, I have
an announcement.
329
00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:18,876
After consultation with
our new adjutant, Major Karp,
330
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:22,880
I have decided not to move
the guard towers at this time.
331
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,673
( men cheering )
332
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:27,634
Quiet!
Quiet!
333
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:30,637
However, there is a need
for tighter security,
334
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,514
so I have made
another decision.
335
00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:40,689
Again, after consultation
with Major Karp and others,
336
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:45,527
there will be a guard
in every barracks at Stalag 13
337
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,154
on 24-hour duty.
338
00:15:47,195 --> 00:15:48,155
You can't do that!
339
00:15:48,196 --> 00:15:49,364
( men complaining )
340
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:50,782
Commandant,
that's a violation
341
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,743
of the Geneva Prisoner
of War Convention.
342
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:55,495
Hogan, the Geneva Convention
says nothing about it,
343
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:57,831
but thank you for bringing it
to my attention.
344
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:04,212
The new security system will
begin today at 1600 hours
345
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,381
with the changing
of the guard.
346
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:07,591
That's all.
347
00:16:07,674 --> 00:16:07,758
Dismissed!
348
00:16:10,218 --> 00:16:12,137
It's bloody well illegal,
that's what it is.
349
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,138
They can't do this!
350
00:16:13,221 --> 00:16:14,222
HOGAN:
They've done it.
351
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:15,724
CARTER:
Boy, that's pretty low.
352
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,310
All right, file your complaint
with the Better Business Bureau.
353
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,274
What about moving
the general, sir?
354
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,193
That guard takes
over at 4:00--
355
00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:27,361
that closes
the tunnels.
356
00:16:27,402 --> 00:16:28,487
He'll be down
there alone.
357
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,613
That gives us two hours.
358
00:16:29,696 --> 00:16:31,740
LeBeau, get enough food
and water in the tunnel
359
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,033
for at least two or three days.
360
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,493
Wait. What do I tell
the general?
361
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:36,036
We'll get him out
as soon as we can.
362
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,579
He's liable
to shoot me!
363
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:38,747
If he doesn't like it here,
364
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:41,083
he can find himself
another P.O.W. camp.
365
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:43,001
Why don't you tell him?
366
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,587
Because I'm a colonel...
367
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,089
and I'm scared.
368
00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:50,258
If this 24-hour guard sticks,
we're out of business.
369
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:53,053
Sir, you said
the new adjutant would be easy.
370
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,888
It's Fräu Linkmeier's idea.
371
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,099
Obviously, she's going to try
to run this camp.
372
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,267
Oh, that'll be lovely,
that will.
373
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:03,688
The only way we can get rid of
her is by destroying Wolfgang.
374
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,774
We get rid of him,
we get rid of her.
375
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,484
Well, that's a shame--
he's innocent.
376
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:08,193
Well, so are we.
377
00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:11,154
Well, almost.
378
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,491
MAN:
That's not soup, it's stew, you...
379
00:17:14,574 --> 00:17:16,284
CARTER:
I thought it tasted like stew.
380
00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,285
You want some more?
381
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,787
Just a little bit,
right there.
382
00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:19,871
That's good.
Thank you.
383
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,039
Want some more, Newkirk?
384
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,290
NEWKIRK:
No thanks, mate.
385
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:24,084
CARTER:
Mmm, this is great stew.
386
00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,128
Is this rabbit
or bear?
387
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:29,631
Thank you.
388
00:17:29,714 --> 00:17:31,425
LeBeau, how many times
must I tell you?
389
00:17:31,466 --> 00:17:32,634
Never feed a Kraut
at the table.
390
00:17:35,095 --> 00:17:38,056
Why do you object to
the new guard system, Colonel?
391
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,225
It doesn't make sense
and it's degrading.
392
00:17:40,308 --> 00:17:42,310
You are prisoners of war.
393
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:43,979
Yes, I noticed
that, too.
394
00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:46,481
I still think
the guard tower should be moved.
395
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,859
Wolfgang is against it
and so am I.
396
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,360
I'm still
the commandant here!
397
00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:53,321
And General Burkhalter
is also against it.
398
00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:56,324
He didn't say anything
about it to me.
399
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:59,452
He will, soon as Fräu Linkmeier
tells him what to say.
400
00:18:00,745 --> 00:18:01,663
Hogan!
401
00:18:01,746 --> 00:18:03,415
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
402
00:18:03,498 --> 00:18:04,541
Sorry.
403
00:18:04,624 --> 00:18:06,376
Can't seem to keep
you two straight.
404
00:18:07,502 --> 00:18:07,669
Hogan!
405
00:18:13,049 --> 00:18:14,342
( with German accent ):
Hello?
406
00:18:14,426 --> 00:18:15,927
Fräulein Richter!
407
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,888
( with American accent ):
One moment, please.
408
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,392
Hello, Karen.
409
00:18:22,475 --> 00:18:24,436
This is your friend
out at Winter Wonderland.
410
00:18:24,519 --> 00:18:26,188
We need your help.
411
00:18:26,229 --> 00:18:27,856
Right-- now listen.
412
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:31,318
Remember the slob
you talked to at the party?
413
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:32,694
No, not Klink.
414
00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:35,572
The other slob.
415
00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:36,740
That's the one.
416
00:18:36,823 --> 00:18:38,533
Now, here's what I want you
to do...
417
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:39,659
Paté...
418
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:40,535
( groans with desire )
419
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:41,620
Fillet de sole almondine,
420
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:42,996
poulet rôti avecharicots verts...
421
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,539
( groans louder )
422
00:18:44,623 --> 00:18:47,208
...and for dessert,
fraise des boisavec crème fraîche.
423
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,835
( gasps )
424
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:50,545
A nice lunch, nice.
425
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,546
Thank you.
426
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,381
Ah... bring me
a little wine.
427
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,051
Champagne.
428
00:18:56,092 --> 00:18:57,385
Jawohl, Herr Major.
429
00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:58,553
At once!
430
00:18:58,595 --> 00:18:59,638
( knocking on door )
431
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:00,388
Kommen Sie.
432
00:19:03,558 --> 00:19:04,935
Fräulein Richter.
433
00:19:05,018 --> 00:19:05,894
What a nice surprise.
434
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:06,895
Come in.
435
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,731
Wolfgang.
436
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:12,025
It's so good just
to look at you.
437
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:15,570
I'm afraid Colonel Klink
isn't here.
438
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,906
I came to see you.
439
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,240
Oh, really?
440
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:20,241
Ja.
441
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:21,743
Is anything wrong,
Fräulein?
442
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:22,994
Everything is wrong.
443
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:25,205
I didn't sleep
at all last night.
444
00:19:25,246 --> 00:19:26,915
What a shame.
445
00:19:26,956 --> 00:19:27,999
Wolfgang.
446
00:19:30,001 --> 00:19:32,462
I think I'm falling
in love with you.
447
00:19:32,545 --> 00:19:33,922
In love with me?
448
00:19:34,005 --> 00:19:35,048
Ja.
449
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:35,757
Really?
450
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:38,760
Well...
451
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:40,762
Well...
452
00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:43,348
Uh, danke, Sergeant.
453
00:19:43,431 --> 00:19:45,141
I won't need you this afternoon.
454
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:45,266
( Schultz clicks heels )
455
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,352
I understand.
456
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:53,608
Don't you feel
anything for me?
457
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,360
You are a very
attractive woman.
458
00:19:56,861 --> 00:19:58,780
Well, at least
that is something.
459
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:01,449
But I am engaged
to Fräu Linkmeier.
460
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:02,575
Do you love her?
461
00:20:02,617 --> 00:20:05,203
No, but I hate
the Russian front.
462
00:20:05,286 --> 00:20:09,624
However, there's no reason
we can't be friends...
463
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:12,210
very discreetly, of course.
464
00:20:12,293 --> 00:20:13,712
( sighs happily )
465
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:16,214
I don't care, as long
as I can see you.
466
00:20:19,592 --> 00:20:21,428
KARP:
There will be two for lunch.
467
00:20:21,469 --> 00:20:22,137
Oui, I know.
468
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:28,643
And my Wolfgang says that
attempted escapes are expensive.
469
00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:31,104
Huh! Your Wolfgang has
become quite an expert.
470
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:32,730
I know how to economize.
471
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,691
From now on, you manage
our escape plans.
472
00:20:34,774 --> 00:20:36,317
That way, we cut out
the middleman.
473
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:37,819
( knock on door )
Come in!
474
00:20:42,115 --> 00:20:43,950
Reporting for duty,
Herr Kommandant!
475
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:46,202
Schultz, I assigned you
to work with Major Karp.
476
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:49,664
I was, Herr Kommandant,
until Fräulein Richter arrived.
477
00:20:49,706 --> 00:20:51,458
Then the major
told me
478
00:20:51,499 --> 00:20:53,918
he does not need me
in the afternoon.
479
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,378
Well, what is this
all about?
480
00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:57,338
She is alone with him?!
481
00:20:57,380 --> 00:20:58,465
Ja, gnädige Frau.
482
00:20:58,506 --> 00:21:00,175
We will find out
right away what's going on.
483
00:21:00,216 --> 00:21:01,468
Wait a minute,
hold it, hold it.
484
00:21:01,509 --> 00:21:03,052
I'm sure it's all
perfectly innocent.
485
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:05,138
Two people alone
in the afternoon
486
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:10,018
with a bottle of champagne
doesn't mean anything.
487
00:21:10,059 --> 00:21:11,311
That's my girl.
488
00:21:11,352 --> 00:21:12,353
That's my fiancé!
489
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,479
Excuse me, mon colonel--
490
00:21:13,521 --> 00:21:14,480
Hey, LeBeau...
491
00:21:14,522 --> 00:21:15,481
I quit!
492
00:21:15,523 --> 00:21:16,816
First he orders lunch for one,
493
00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:18,193
then he orders lunch for two.
494
00:21:18,234 --> 00:21:19,444
Then he dismisses me
495
00:21:19,527 --> 00:21:21,529
before I even get a chance
to serve the dessert!
496
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:24,490
I realize Fräulein
Richter is beautiful,
497
00:21:24,532 --> 00:21:26,868
but food is food!
498
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:27,660
Perfectly innocent, huh?
499
00:21:34,417 --> 00:21:36,878
If only we had met sooner.
500
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,173
Ja... it's a pity.
501
00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:41,674
And if only you
had a brother
502
00:21:41,716 --> 00:21:44,177
with higher rank
than Burkhalter.
503
00:21:44,260 --> 00:21:45,220
RICHTER:
Wolfgang?
504
00:21:45,261 --> 00:21:46,137
KARP:
Uh-huh?
505
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:47,597
I really must be going.
506
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:47,722
Would you get
my coat, please?
507
00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:50,642
Oh, but why?
508
00:21:50,725 --> 00:21:52,393
Well, you said we
were to be discreet.
509
00:21:52,435 --> 00:21:53,895
Ah, yes, of course,
you're right.
510
00:21:53,978 --> 00:21:54,771
You're right.
511
00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:07,200
Ah.
512
00:22:07,241 --> 00:22:09,077
Danke, my darling.
513
00:22:09,118 --> 00:22:11,329
I will call you tomorrow.
514
00:22:11,412 --> 00:22:14,082
Ja, we will make
arrangements to meet.
515
00:22:14,123 --> 00:22:15,708
Oh, shh.
516
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:17,585
I can hardly wait.
517
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,545
Every minute
will be an hour.
518
00:22:19,587 --> 00:22:21,881
Wiedersehen,
my lovely Karen.
519
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:23,424
RICHTER:
Wiedersehen, Liebchen.
520
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:24,968
"Auf Wiedersehen,Liebchen?"
521
00:22:25,051 --> 00:22:26,594
Wolfgang, what have
you been doing?
522
00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:27,762
Karen!
523
00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:28,930
Oh, hello,
Wilhelm!
524
00:22:29,013 --> 00:22:29,764
Wiedersehen!
525
00:22:30,014 --> 00:22:31,349
Karen!
526
00:22:31,432 --> 00:22:34,060
Wolfgang, you
have lipstick on your cheek!
527
00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:35,061
I have?
528
00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:36,104
And on your sweater.
529
00:22:36,187 --> 00:22:37,814
That stuff's
tough to get off.
530
00:22:37,897 --> 00:22:39,607
How could you?
531
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:41,275
How could you?!
532
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:42,819
Gertrude,
how could I what?
533
00:22:43,069 --> 00:22:44,445
Albert.
534
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:45,989
Where are you, Albert?
535
00:22:46,072 --> 00:22:47,156
Gertrude!
536
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,158
( screaming ):
Albert!
537
00:22:49,242 --> 00:22:52,120
Albert!
538
00:22:52,161 --> 00:22:55,039
That miserable, rotten,
two-faced gigolo.
539
00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:58,209
Burkhalter will see to
it that he's on the 2:15 to Stalingrad.
540
00:22:58,292 --> 00:22:59,377
It is terrible.
541
00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:01,587
I never thought Karen
would do anything like that.
542
00:23:01,629 --> 00:23:02,630
Ah, don't worry,
Commandant,
543
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:03,840
you'll find
another girl.
544
00:23:03,923 --> 00:23:05,800
Next time, find
somebody more mature,
545
00:23:05,842 --> 00:23:07,677
less flighty,
more reliable.
546
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,971
They're hard to find.
547
00:23:10,054 --> 00:23:13,182
Well, how about
Fräu Linkmeier?
548
00:23:13,266 --> 00:23:14,976
Hogan, I could have you
shot for that.
549
00:23:15,017 --> 00:23:17,145
Shot on what charge?
550
00:23:17,186 --> 00:23:18,563
Threatening
a German officer.
551
00:23:26,863 --> 00:23:27,572
BAKER:
Colonel.
552
00:23:29,949 --> 00:23:31,868
We just got a word
from the underground.
553
00:23:31,951 --> 00:23:34,287
Courier plane picked up
the general at 2300 hours.
554
00:23:34,328 --> 00:23:35,288
Good.
555
00:23:35,329 --> 00:23:36,664
He should be
in England by now.
556
00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:37,665
And good luck to him.
557
00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:38,666
And us.
558
00:23:38,708 --> 00:23:39,750
( chuckles )
559
00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:43,921
What she needs right now
is consolation, Klink.
560
00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:45,506
I understand, sir.
561
00:23:45,548 --> 00:23:49,677
And you are the man
to help her over this difficult time.
562
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:50,720
Me?!
563
00:23:50,803 --> 00:23:52,638
I can hardly
console myself!
564
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,182
I have arranged
565
00:23:54,223 --> 00:23:56,392
for a nice, quiet table
for the two of you
566
00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:58,352
at the Hauserhof tonight.
567
00:23:58,436 --> 00:24:00,104
Be kind to her.
568
00:24:00,188 --> 00:24:02,190
She respects you.
569
00:24:02,231 --> 00:24:03,441
( shouting ):
That's an order!
570
00:24:12,575 --> 00:24:14,869
Hey, hitting the sauce a
little early, Commandant.
571
00:24:14,911 --> 00:24:17,997
He expects me to console her,
take her out tonight.
572
00:24:18,039 --> 00:24:19,499
So you get loaded
on brandy?
573
00:24:19,540 --> 00:24:21,250
In a minute, you'll
be seeing double.
574
00:24:21,334 --> 00:24:22,543
Who cares?
575
00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:24,378
You want to spend
the evening
576
00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:25,922
looking at two
Fräu Linkmeiers?
577
00:24:25,972 --> 00:24:30,522
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