All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s06e21 Kommandant Gertrude.eng

( theme song playing )

( planes droning )

HOGAN:
Krauts have hit one of them.

He's bailing out!

Chute at about three o'clock
from here.

That's in
the woods, Colonel.

All right, let's go.

( gunfire )

HOGAN:
Hold your fire!

Kommen Zie aus!

Hands up-- mach schnell!

Oh, his German's bloody awful.

We'd better do it
his way-- let's go.

All right, come on, get out
of there, all you guys!

With your hands up!
Now stop right there.

All right, who are you?

( yells in German )

We're from
the insurance company.

Put the cannon
away, buddy.

Holy cow, it's
a general... sir!

Colonel Robert Hogan.

Ah... Al Sharp.

Tiny bugger,
ain't he?

He doesn't look
that small to me.

Are you all right, General?

Oh, a little shook
up back there.

Lousy place to land.

What outfit are you?

We're a sabotage and
intelligence unit.

We work out of
a P.O.W. camp

about five miles
over the hill.

P.O.W. camp?

Ha! I don't believe it.

We're going to have
to hide you there-- Baker, LeBeau,

take care of
the parachute, huh?

Oui, colonel.

Carter?

Carter...

Take the lead.

Yes, sir.

General, if you'll
follow me, sir.

Okay, son.

That's the smallest
general I ever saw.

Maybe we ought
to throw him back.

( violin playing
"Liebestraum" horribly )

( playing
"Liebestraum" horribly )

Oh, how lovely, Wilhelm.

Oh, such... feeling!

Danke, my dear Karen,
danke.

Beautiful, Herr Kommandant,
beau-ti-ful.

Herr Kommandant, may I applaud?

Oh, carry on!

Danke.

Fräulien.

Danke.

Herr Kommandant.

Danke, Schultz.

Danke, Schultz!

You make such
beautiful music, Wilhelm.

Ah-ha-ha,
we make beautiful music.

When I'm with you,
my heart becomes a violin.

That's very poetic.

Yes, I think so.

( gasps )

Oh, I'm terribly sorry!

Oh, don't give it
another thought.

Accidents will happen
in wartime.

Wait, you can have
Schultz dry it for you.

That's very thoughtful
of you.

I'll be back
in one moment.

( door closes )

I slipped into something

a little more comfortable.

Was I gone long?

An eternity.

Shall we have music?

I would love that!

But, oh, it is late.

It is never too late
for lovemaking.

I must remember that.

Oh, Schultz, I must
have forgotten my gloves.

Would you get them
for me?

Jawohl, Fräulien Richter.

How'd it go?

Oh, that violin...
I thought I'd scream.

It's Klink's version of
the Chinese water torture.

Anything interesting?

Yeah, there was
a set of plans.

He's going to move
the guard towers

back from
the perimeter wire

about 100 feet
into the woods.

When?

Oh, they start
work immediately.

Oh, murder-- we got
a one-star general to get out of here.

He moves
those guard towers,

he's going to block
our tunnel exit.

Nice work, Karen.

We'll call you for
the next violin recital.

Oh, don't bother.

Bitte, Fräulien.

Danke.

HOGAN:
We were just getting used

to the guard towers
where they are.

KLINK:
Aha! That is one of the reasons I want them moved.

It will ruin
any escape plans you may have.

You're wrong, sir--

they'll just become
a bigger challenge.

Hogan, I invited you
outside this wire

only as a courtesy.

I'm not interested
in your opinion.

Ah, you better
think it over, sir.

I'm not going
to think it over.

Believe me, I have
many more pressing problems than this.

General Burkhalter
is coming here on an inspection tour.

He's bringing his sister,
Fräu Linkmeier.

The Abominable
Snow Woman, again?

I know...

What is this remarkable
fascination I have for women?

Why do they want me?
Why, Hogan?

Oh... I don't know.

Could be your brains,
your charm,

your wit,
your military bearing.

Yes.

Could be--
I doubt it.

Dis... missed,
Hogan!

If only she doesn't throw
her arms around me!

Be brave,
Herr Kommandant.

Guten Tag, Klink.

Welcome,
Fräu Linkmeier.

It's a pleasure
to see you again.

Danke.

I would like you
to meet my fiancé.

Major Wolfgang Karp,

this is Colonel Wilhelm Klink,
Commandant.

Herr Kommandant.

Major Karp, any
fiancé of Gertrude's

is a fiancé of mine--

I mean,
a friend of mine.

To the Führer!

ALL:
To the Führer!

Ja, ja.

Well, what do you think
of these two, Klink?

All the world
loves a lover.

I realize this may be
difficult for you, Colonel.

Gertrude has told me
you two were... friends.

Well, that's the way it goes.

One can't win them all.

I have a feeling Klink
will recover.

I cannot tell you
how relieved...

Pleased... pleased I am.

Thank you, Wilhelm.

We will announce
our engagement in a day or two.

Right, Wolfgang?

Right.

You know,
General Burkhalter, I have just had

what I consider
an absolutely brilliant idea.

That's hard to believe.

Allow me the honor

of giving the happy couple
their engagement party.

Klink!
Fabelhaft!

That's very generous,
Colonel.

Oh, it's nothing,
nothing at all.

Yes it is, when
it comes out of the camp budget.

We accept, Albert...
with pleasure.

Ja, danke.

We will have the visitors'
quarters decorated.

One of our prisoners
is an excellent chef.

All right,
it's settled.

Gertrude, I have
some private business

to discuss with Klink.

Why don't
you take Wolfgang

on a little tour
of the stalag?

Ja.

Klink.

You know, that Wolfgang

is a very lucky fellow.

So am I.

At last she has
a man... I think.

Well, he seemed
very pleasant.

Of course, he's not
the type of officer

that I have a great deal
in common with, but...

You will have
something in common.

We will?

Major Wolfgang Karp

is going to be
your new adjutant.

He's going to be my new...

General, you can't be serious.

Yes, I am.

It was Gertrude's idea.

That Kraut, adjutant?

Yes, that Kraut.

Hogan...

Sorry, sir, I
was carried away.

I wish I could be.

There's got to be something you
can do about it, Commandant.

It was dear
Fräu Linkmeier's idea.

Well, in that case
don't fight it, you'll lose.

On top of that,

I've got an engagement
party to worry about.

Hogan, could you
and your men help?

Ah, we can't
turn you down.

We've been enemies
for such a long time.

Thank you, Hogan.

I am touched by
your attitude.

Yes, sir.

Don't come to attention,
I'm just passing through.

Wasn't even
considering it.

You can come out now, General.

I never thought I'd ever
have to hide from the enemy.

What's the
situation, Hogan?

We may be able to get you
out of here in a few days.

A few days?

That won't do, mister.

Yes, sir.

Those boys of mine

back at the base
are waiting for me.

Now, let's not hold up the war!

The Krauts have a new adjutant.

It'll be a little while
before they relax security.

I'd show them how
to relax security

if I were running
this shebang.

I'm going below decks.

Come on, open up!

Excusez-moi,
mon général, wrong bunk.

Let go, Frenchie,
I can handle this.

Hogan, I want
out of here.

Now, get on
the stick or else.

Yes, sir.

And here is a very special
friend of mine,

Fräulein Richter--

Colonel Hogan,
senior P.O.W. officer.

Fräulein.

Guten haben,
Colonel.

Very nice party,
even if I say so myself.

I thought
you might.

Oh, excuse me--

Schultz is drowning
in the punch bowl again.

Is there a chance that
he might play the violin?

When you joined
the underground,

you knew you were
risking torture.

Colonel Hogan!

Oh, here's
the happy couple now.

I think it is time you
met the new adjutant.

This is Colonel Hogan,
senior prisoner of war officer.

Major,
congratulations.

Ja, danke.

You've met
Fräulein Richter?

Ja, we have had
the pleasure.

Wolfgang, I would like you
to entertain the fräulein.

I would like to speak
to Colonel Hogan.

Ja, Gertrude.

Not too much entertainment,
right, Wolfgang?

Right.

Hogan, I want to ask
you something.

Is Klink upset by Wolfgang
being made the adjutant?

He is taking
Russian lessons.

It is possible that
Wolfgang might take Klink's job someday.

Really?

When?

When I say so.

Yeah, Klink is worried
about his plan to move the guard towers.

Ja?

Why should he worry?

He's afraid some smart
officer like Wolfgang

might find out how
expensive a job it is.

Oh, ja?

I had no idea.

And tell the general.

Ja, Albert doesn't like it

when the Luft Stalags
spend money.

I don't think Wolfgang
should mention it to your brother.

Ja, but it would be very good
for Wolfgang's career.

You must think
of Klink.

Oh, by all means.

Moving the guard towers
is not necessary?

Oh, there's never been
a successful escape from Stalag 13.

Ja, so Klink has told me...

and told me and told me.

So the position
of the towers

really has nothing
to do with it.

( both chuckle )

I understand.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have
your attention, please?

Ladies and gentlemen,
let me now introduce to you

one of the great military minds
of the Third Reich,

our very own General Burkhalter!

( applause )

Danke, Kommandant.

This is a very happy occasion
for me, meine Damen und Herren,

but I am not going
to make a speech.

( chuckles )

The general is
so thoughtful.

Now, I have the honor
to announce the engagement

of my sister Gertrude Linkmeier
to Major Wolfgang Karp.

( applause )

We are all very grateful
for your good wishes,

and I know we will be
very happy, right, Wolfgang?

Right.

HOGAN:
Well, they're moving the stuff.

It worked, Colonel.

First break we've had.

Good old Gertrude.

Baker, contact London, arrange
for a pickup at any time.

They can have
their general back.

Right, Colonel.

Yeah, the sooner,
the better.

He's ready
to court-martial the lot of us.

Carter, LeBeau, use
the emergency tunnel.

Take him out
tonight.

The underground can take
him from there.

Yes, sir.

If the weather
doesn't go bad,

they can probably
send a plane

for him
tomorrow night.

And if we're
socked in,

I'll carry him to London
on piggyback.

Let's go.

Raus, everybody!

Raus, raus, raus,
raus, raus!

What's happening,
Schultz?

Herr Kommandant has an
important announcement to make.

About what?

I know...

ALL (chiming in):
...Nothing!

Jolly jokers!

SCHULTZ:
Herr Kommandant, all present and accounted for.

KLINK:
Thank you, Schultz.

Gentlemen, I have
an announcement.

After consultation with
our new adjutant, Major Karp,

I have decided not to move
the guard towers at this time.

( men cheering )

Quiet!
Quiet!

However, there is a need
for tighter security,

so I have made
another decision.

Again, after consultation
with Major Karp and others,

there will be a guard
in every barracks at Stalag 13

on 24-hour duty.

You can't do that!

( men complaining )

Commandant,
that's a violation

of the Geneva Prisoner
of War Convention.

Hogan, the Geneva Convention
says nothing about it,

but thank you for bringing it
to my attention.

The new security system will
begin today at 1600 hours

with the changing
of the guard.

That's all.

Dismissed!

It's bloody well illegal,
that's what it is.

They can't do this!

HOGAN:
They've done it.

CARTER:
Boy, that's pretty low.

All right, file your complaint
with the Better Business Bureau.

What about moving
the general, sir?

That guard takes
over at 4:00--

that closes
the tunnels.

He'll be down
there alone.

That gives us two hours.

LeBeau, get enough food
and water in the tunnel

for at least two or three days.

Wait. What do I tell
the general?

We'll get him out
as soon as we can.

He's liable
to shoot me!

If he doesn't like it here,

he can find himself
another P.O.W. camp.

Why don't you tell him?

Because I'm a colonel...

and I'm scared.

If this 24-hour guard sticks,
we're out of business.

Sir, you said
the new adjutant would be easy.

It's Fräu Linkmeier's idea.

Obviously, she's going to try
to run this camp.

Oh, that'll be lovely,
that will.

The only way we can get rid of
her is by destroying Wolfgang.

We get rid of him,
we get rid of her.

Well, that's a shame--
he's innocent.

Well, so are we.

Well, almost.

MAN:
That's not soup, it's stew, you...

CARTER:
I thought it tasted like stew.

You want some more?

Just a little bit,
right there.

That's good.
Thank you.

Want some more, Newkirk?

NEWKIRK:
No thanks, mate.

CARTER:
Mmm, this is great stew.

Is this rabbit
or bear?

Thank you.

LeBeau, how many times
must I tell you?

Never feed a Kraut
at the table.

Why do you object to
the new guard system, Colonel?

It doesn't make sense
and it's degrading.

You are prisoners of war.

Yes, I noticed
that, too.

I still think
the guard tower should be moved.

Wolfgang is against it
and so am I.

I'm still
the commandant here!

And General Burkhalter
is also against it.

He didn't say anything
about it to me.

He will, soon as Fräu Linkmeier
tells him what to say.

Hogan!

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Sorry.

Can't seem to keep
you two straight.

Hogan!

( with German accent ):
Hello?

Fräulein Richter!

( with American accent ):
One moment, please.

Hello, Karen.

This is your friend
out at Winter Wonderland.

We need your help.

Right-- now listen.

Remember the slob
you talked to at the party?

No, not Klink.

The other slob.

That's the one.

Now, here's what I want you
to do...

Paté...

( groans with desire )

Fillet de sole almondine,

poulet rôti avec
haricots verts...

( groans louder )

...and for dessert,
fraise des bois avec crème fraîche.

( gasps )

A nice lunch, nice.

Thank you.

Ah... bring me
a little wine.

Champagne.

Jawohl, Herr Major.

At once!

( knocking on door )

Kommen Sie.

Fräulein Richter.

What a nice surprise.

Come in.

Wolfgang.

It's so good just
to look at you.

I'm afraid Colonel Klink
isn't here.

I came to see you.

Oh, really?

Ja.

Is anything wrong,
Fräulein?

Everything is wrong.

I didn't sleep
at all last night.

What a shame.

Wolfgang.

I think I'm falling
in love with you.

In love with me?

Ja.

Really?

Well...

Well...

Uh, danke, Sergeant.

I won't need you this afternoon.

( Schultz clicks heels )

I understand.

Don't you feel
anything for me?

You are a very
attractive woman.

Well, at least
that is something.

But I am engaged
to Fräu Linkmeier.

Do you love her?

No, but I hate
the Russian front.

However, there's no reason
we can't be friends...

very discreetly, of course.

( sighs happily )

I don't care, as long
as I can see you.

KARP:
There will be two for lunch.

Oui, I know.

And my Wolfgang says that
attempted escapes are expensive.

Huh! Your Wolfgang has
become quite an expert.

I know how to economize.

From now on, you manage
our escape plans.

That way, we cut out
the middleman.

( knock on door )
Come in!

Reporting for duty,
Herr Kommandant!

Schultz, I assigned you
to work with Major Karp.

I was, Herr Kommandant,
until Fräulein Richter arrived.

Then the major
told me

he does not need me
in the afternoon.

Well, what is this
all about?

She is alone with him?!

Ja, gnädige Frau.

We will find out
right away what's going on.

Wait a minute,
hold it, hold it.

I'm sure it's all
perfectly innocent.

Two people alone
in the afternoon

with a bottle of champagne
doesn't mean anything.

That's my girl.

That's my fiancé!

Excuse me, mon colonel--

Hey, LeBeau...

I quit!

First he orders lunch for one,

then he orders lunch for two.

Then he dismisses me

before I even get a chance
to serve the dessert!

I realize Fräulein
Richter is beautiful,

but food is food!

Perfectly innocent, huh?

If only we had met sooner.

Ja... it's a pity.

And if only you
had a brother

with higher rank
than Burkhalter.

RICHTER:
Wolfgang?

KARP:
Uh-huh?

I really must be going.

Would you get
my coat, please?

Oh, but why?

Well, you said we
were to be discreet.

Ah, yes, of course,
you're right.

You're right.

Ah.

Danke, my darling.

I will call you tomorrow.

Ja, we will make
arrangements to meet.

Oh, shh.

I can hardly wait.

Every minute
will be an hour.

Wiedersehen,
my lovely Karen.

RICHTER:
Wiedersehen, Liebchen.

"Auf Wiedersehen,
Liebchen?"

Wolfgang, what have
you been doing?

Karen!

Oh, hello,
Wilhelm!

Wiedersehen!

Karen!

Wolfgang, you
have lipstick on your cheek!

I have?

And on your sweater.

That stuff's
tough to get off.

How could you?

How could you?!

Gertrude,
how could I what?

Albert.

Where are you, Albert?

Gertrude!

( screaming ):
Albert!

Albert!

That miserable, rotten,
two-faced gigolo.

Burkhalter will see to
it that he's on the 2:15 to Stalingrad.

It is terrible.

I never thought Karen
would do anything like that.

Ah, don't worry,
Commandant,

you'll find
another girl.

Next time, find
somebody more mature,

less flighty,
more reliable.

They're hard to find.

Well, how about
Fräu Linkmeier?

Hogan, I could have you
shot for that.

Shot on what charge?

Threatening
a German officer.

BAKER:
Colonel.

We just got a word
from the underground.

Courier plane picked up
the general at 2300 hours.

Good.

He should be
in England by now.

And good luck to him.

And us.

( chuckles )

What she needs right now
is consolation, Klink.

I understand, sir.

And you are the man
to help her over this difficult time.

Me?!

I can hardly
console myself!

I have arranged

for a nice, quiet table
for the two of you

at the Hauserhof tonight.

Be kind to her.

She respects you.

( shouting ):
That's an order!

Hey, hitting the sauce a
little early, Commandant.

He expects me to console her,
take her out tonight.

So you get loaded
on brandy?

In a minute, you'll
be seeing double.

Who cares?

You want to spend
the evening

looking at two
Fräu Linkmeiers?

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