All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S03E19 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

OH, I KNOW.
HOW ABOUT -- NO.

NO. NO!
YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THAT.

YOU CAN'T JUST START A THOUGHT
AND THEN SAY, "NO."

FINISH THEM
OR DON'T START THEM AT ALL.

YOU'RE VERY TOTALITARIAN TODAY.
NO, IT JUST DRIVES ME CRAZY.

IT'S LIKE IF YOU DO SHAVE AND A
HAIRCUT WITHOUT THE LAST PART.

DO IT.
WILL YOU STOP GIVING ME
HALF-FINISHED THOUGHTS?

I PROMISE. DO IT.

* TWO BITS *
THANK YOU.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
PIZZA AND TV.

THAT'S OUR FALLBACK.
THAT'S WHY I SAID NAH.
REMEMBERED IT WAS OUR FALLBACK.

WHEN DID WE BECOME SO OLD
AND PATHETIC?

HEY, HEY. WE'RE NEITHER.

WE'RE STUCK
ON WHAT TO DO.

IT'S A FRIDAY NIGHT.
WE SHOULD BE OUT --

PARTYING WITH THE HOMIES.

OUR STARS HOLLOW HOMIES
ARE ALL IN BED BY NOW.

NOT KIRK. HE'LL BE PLAYING VIDEO
TRIVIA AT THE PIZZA PLACE.

WE'RE OLD AND PATHETIC.
HOW DID IT COME TO THIS?

IT'S OUR FIRST FRIDAY
THAT WE HAVEN'T GONE

TO GRANDMA AND GRANDPA'S
FOR DINNER.

I CANNOT REMEMBER WHAT WE DID
BEFORE WE STARTED DOING THOSE.

FEELS LIKE
A MILLION YEARS AGO.
OOH! WHO ARE YOU CALLING?

IT FEELS WEIRD FOR ME NOT TO SAY
HELLO TO THEM ON FRIDAY NIGHT.

NO, DON'T CALL THEM.
HEY, THIS RIFT IS
BETWEEN YOU AND THEM.

I'M ON FRIENDLY TERMS.
I KNOW.

IT'S JUST THAT THEY'RE PROBABLY
SITTING THERE EATING ALONE,

SHIVERING
IN AN UNHEATED ROOM,

THE ONLY ILLUMINATION'S
A SINGLE LIGHT BULB

JUST SO THEY CAN MAKE US FEEL
SPECTACULARLY GUILTY.

HEY, GRANDPA.
IT'S RORY.

RORY!
HE'S PRETENDING
NOT TO REMEMBER YOU?

NO. IT'S LOUD THERE.
LOUD?

WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?
WE'RE HAVING A PARTY.

A PARTY?
A PARTY?!

SORT OF A LAST-MINUTE THING.

COULDN'T GET TOO BIG
A CROWD HERE.

I THINK WE WOUND UP WITH 55
OR 60. SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

60 PEOPLE!

OH, HERE COME THE MUSHROOM CAPS,
EVERYBODY!

THERE'S SINGING
AND MUSHROOM CAPS.

I'M APPALLED BY THIS.
IT SOUNDS LIKE LOTS OF FUN.

OH, IT IS.

GRANDMA WOULD COME
AND SAY HELLO,

BUT SHE'S DANCING
WITH LLOYD SANDSTONE.

WATCH WHERE YOU PUT THOSE HANDS,
LLOYD.

A GUY NAMED LLOYD
IS FEELING UP GRANDMA.

YOU'RE MAKING THIS UP.

WELL, UM,
I'LL LET YOU GO, OKAY?

OKAY, YOU'RE COMING TO VISIT
AFTER SCHOOL ON MONDAY,
AREN'T YOU?

YEAH. I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
CAN'T WAIT. BYE NOW.

* MAGIC *

THE GILMORE HOUSE IS PARTYING
LIKE IT'S 1999.

AND HERE IT'S "AT HOME
WITH THE 700 CLUB."

WELL, WE DIDN'T TELL THEM TO
STOP LIVING THEIR LIVES.

HOW COULD THEY BOUNCE BACK
SO QUICKLY?

I DON'T KNOW,
BUT BOUNCE THEY DID.

OKAY.
THEY WIN THIS TIME.

BUT WE'VE GOT TO THINK OF
SOMETHING SUPER BIG
AND FANTASTIC

AND COOL FOR NEXT
FRIDAY NIGHT, OKAY?

OKAY.
NOW, THINK.

[ SIGHS ]

MUSHROOM CAPS SOUND
REALLY GOOD.

SHH.
SORRY.

* IF YOU'RE OUT
ON THE ROAD *

* FEELIN' LONELY
AND SO COLD *

* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS CALL MY NAME *

* AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW *

* OH, OH, OH *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANY, ANYWHERE
THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD *

HI.
SAY "CHEESE."

I LOVE MY LITTLE DIGITAL CAMERA.
I WANT TO MARRY IT.

DO YOU EVER WANT TO
PUT IT AWAY?

YOU HURT LITTLE DIGITAL DAN'S
FEELINGS.

SORRY, D.D.

GOTCHA.
OH, NO, WAIT. MISSED.

GOT A GOOD ONE OF YOU.
NICE CHEEKBONES.

COULD YOU FOCUS ON SOMETHING
NON-PHOTOGRAPHIC FOR A SECOND?

HMM. I'LL TRY.
I WAS ASKED TO PASS
THIS ALONG TO YOU.

SOMETHING FROM CHILTON. YOU
STILL DIPPING GIRLS' HAIR IN THE
INKWELLS?

READ IT AND SEE.

"DEAR MS. GILMORE,

"WITH YOUR DAUGHTER'S FINAL DAYS
AT CHILTON FAST APPROACHING,

YOURS ARE, TOO."

NOT FEELIN' THE LOVE HERE.
YADDA, YADDA, YADDA.

"THE BOOSTER CLUB
COULD USE YOUR HELP.

WE WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE --"
"GREATLY'S" UNDERLINED 3 TIMES.

TRYING TO EMPHASIS A WORD THERE.
GOT IT, GUYS.

"YOUR INVOLVEMENT,
ESPECIALLY IN LIGHT OF

YOUR PREVIOUS PAUCITY
OF PARTICIPATION."

THEY GOT ME WITH ALLITERATION
AND AN OBSCURE WORD.
THE BASTARDS.

I'VE BEEN SUMMONED TO DUTY.
SOUNDS LIKE IT.

FEEL LIKE PACKING MY RUCKSACK
AND KISSING MY LOVED ONES
GOODBYE.

SO DON'T DO IT THEN.

YOU'RE AS GOOD AS OUT OF THERE.
YALE'S GRABBED YOU.

IT'S TOO LATE. WE DON'T NEED
ANYTHING FROM CHILTON.

EXCEPT MY GRADUATION TICKETS.

WE ALREADY GOT THEM.
WE NEED EXTRAS.

I PUT IN THE REQUEST,
IT'S UP TO THEM NOW.

WE DO NEED ONE
BIG THING.

THEN THERE'S MY DIPLOMA.

YOU'LL GET IT
AT GRADUATION.

I GET MY DIPLOMA HOLDER
AT GRADUATION.

DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD
WITHHOLD YOUR DIPLOMA

BASED ON
MY PARTICIPATION PAUCITY?

I DON'T KNOW.
OH, MAN, I'M SCREWED.

I GUESS I GOTTA DO IT.

HEY, GUYS.

WAS THAT NECESSARY?

OH, MAN.
YOU DO NOT PHOTOGRAPH WELL.

WHAT?
YOU BEEN GETTING SOME SLEEP?

'CAUSE THAT'S 40 MILES
OF BAD ROAD.

I WASN'T READY. IT WAS A BAD
ANGLE AND IT'S A HARSH LIGHT.

A SOFT LIGHT WOULD HELP
WITH THE THING WITH THE EYES.

LOOK WHO KNOWS WHAT LIGHT
HE LOOKS BEST IN.
YOU READY TO ORDER?

I'M GONNA TAKE A PICTURE
AND THEN ORDER OFF THE CAMERA.

YELL WHEN SHE'S TIRED
OF THE THING.
GIVE IT TIME.

NOW I'M GONNA ZOOM IN ON
JUST THE BREAKFAST MEATS.

GO TO TOWN.

WHOA. COOL.
WE FINISHED
AT THE SAME TIME.

THAT HAS
NEVER HAPPENED.

THE MIDDLE
DIDN'T EVEN SOUND LIKE US.
YEAH. IT SOUNDED GOOD.

IT SOUNDED GREAT, GUYS.
ALL OF IT. DIDN'T IT?

NOT TOO SHABBY.
WE'RE READY FOR THIS GIG.

I LOVE THE SOUND OF THAT.
WHERE IS IT?

KYLE'S PARENTS ARE GOING TO
MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER

SO HE'S THROWING
THIS MONDO PARTY.

GOT ENOUGH SONGS?
ENOUGH FOR TWO HALF-HOUR SETS.

WHAT WE NEED'S A NAME.
I'VE MADE MY SUGGESTION.

YEAH, AND WE VETOED
THE HARRY POTTERS, NEXT.

SO YOURS IS BETTER?
FOLLOW THEM TO
THE EDGE OF THE DESERT

IS MEMORABLE AND CLASSY.

I RUN OUT OF BREATH
SAYING IT.

YOU'VE GOT ASTHMA. YOU RUN
OUTTA BREATH SAYING YOUR NAME.

WE CAN'T WORK OUR NAME AROUND
YOUR RESPIRATORY ILLNESSES.

EVEN WITHOUT AN INHALER,
THAT NAME IS TOO LONG.

BUT WHEN WE GET FAMOUS,

OUR FANS WILL SHORTEN IT
TO F-T-T-T-E-O-T-D.

DO YOU GUYS HAVE
ANY SUGGESTIONS?

WE WOULDN'T DARE.

HOW WILL YOU PLAY
WITH YOUR MOM BEING SO STRICT?

RORY AND JESS ARE GONNA DELIVER
MY DRUMS TO KYLE'S HOUSE.

YOUNG CHUI
IS GONNA PICK ME UP

TO TAKE ME TO A FICTIONAL
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST
BOWLING PARTY

THAT WILL LAST
OUR GIG'S LENGTH.

NICE GOING.

I'VE GOT MY OWN BALL
AND SHOES.

DUDE,
DON'T TELL PEOPLE THAT.

SEE YOU, GUYS.

YEAH, SEE YA.

LATER.
BYE.

HOW ABOUT
THE WE?

WE?
YEAH. WE ARE THE WE.

I CAN'T TALK ABOUT
THIS ANYMORE.

SO, ANY WORD ON YOUR CAR?
NOTHING.

YOU THINK SOMEONE
WOULD'VE FOUND IT.

IT WAS PRETTY
ONE-OF-A-KIND.

IT'S PROBABLY HOLED UP
IN SOME CHOP SHOP.

SAY GOODBYE.
IT'S GONE. WHATEVER.

LET'S TALK ABOUT
SOMETHING ELSE.

I LIKE YOU'RE
GETTING TO KNOW DAVE.

YEAH. HE'S A COOL GUY.

IT'S GONNA MAKE US GOING TO
PROM TOGETHER MORE FUN.

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT.
YOU WERE TRYING TO FORGET IT.

I AGREED TO GO,
I'M A MAN OF MY WORD.

HOW'S THAT ARM I TWISTED?
I GOT THE FEELING BACK.

IF THERE WAS ONE MORE DANCE
I'D WANT TO GO TO,

IT'S THE STARS HOLLOW HIGH PROM.
WITH LANE -- THAT'S A BIG PART.

I'M GETTING THE TICKETS
THIS WEEK.
I'LL PAY, OKAY?

NOT A CHANCE.
IT MEANS A TUX, YOU KNOW?

I KNOW IT'S GEEKY.

TUXES ARE ALSO JAMES BOND.
THAT'S NOT GEEKY.

YOU'RE KIND.
AND GOING TO STASH A CHANGE
OF CLOTHES IN THE LIMO.

SOOKIE?

YEAH?

I NEED LOVE AND A HUG.
I HAD TO LAY OFF JULIO.

OH, POOR THING.
IT'S THE THIRD ONE TODAY.

ALL I'M DOING IS CRUSHING
PEOPLE'S SPIRITS.

BUT YOU TOLD THEM
THAT WE LOVE THEM

AND WE'LL HIRE THEM SOON
AS THE REPAIRS ARE DONE.

I GAVE THEM
THEIR SEVERANCE CHECKS,

THEY WERE VERY GRACIOUS,
WHICH MADE IT HARDER.

WE'RE GONNA GET THEM BACK.
IT'LL BE GOOD AGAIN.

WE GOTTA LAY OFF FRANK,
BUT I COULDN'T DO ANOTHER ONE,

SO MICHEL OFFERED TO DO IT.

DID HE SAY HE'D BE NICE?

YES, AND THEN HE SKIPPED OFF
TO DO IT.

WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH LUKE HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE BEEN KEEPING MY DISTANCE
BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL...

HE WAS LYING ON THE FLOOR
PRETTY MUCH LIKE THAT,

TINKERING WITH STUFF
BACK THERE.

AND I GOT DOWN AND LEANED IN
TO SEE WHAT HE WAS DOING,

AND AFTER A WHILE
I REALIZED THAT

THE WHOLE TIME
MY HAND WAS ON HIS BUTT.

SOOKIE!
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

IT'S GETTING VERY
CINEMAX AT NIGHT IN HERE.

IT WAS EMBARRASSING.

UH-HUH, SO...
HOW WAS IT?

HIS BUTT?
YEAH.

GOT A NICE SHAPE TO IT.

WILL YOU TWO STOP TALKING
ABOUT MY BUTT?

IT'S ALL POSITIVE.
AND IN BAD TASTE.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT
AFTER YOU LEAVE.

WHICH IS NOW BECAUSE I'M DONE.
SO WHAT'S THE PROGNOSIS?

SAME AS THE STOVE COMPANY SAID
THE WALL BACK HERE IS BURNED.

YOU GOTTA REBUILD THE WHOLE
THING BEFORE YOU CAN RECONNECT
THE GAS.

IT'S GONNA TAKE A WHILE. SORRY.

NO, LUKE.
THANKS FOR DOING THIS.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
THE CONTRACTOR SAID.

WE WANTED A GUY
WITH A GOOD BUTT'S OPINION.
YEAH. TOM HAS A TERRIBLE BUTT.

STOP THAT.
RORY AND I WILL SEE YOU
SATURDAY FOR BREAKFAST?

ACTUALLY, YOU WON'T. NICOLE
AND I ARE GOING SKIING,

AND WE'RE GETTING
A RIDICULOUSLY EARLY START.

THAT SOUNDS FUN.
WHY RIDICULOUSLY EARLY?

SHE HAS TO DRIVE
FROM HER PLACE IN NEW YORK

BECAUSE SHE CAN'T STAY AT
MINE BECAUSE OF JESS.

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE HER
COME IN FRIDAY NIGHT?

YOU GUYS COULD STAY HERE.
IT'LL BE ON THE HOUSE.

NO. THAT'S OKAY.
NO. DO IT, LUKE.

I KNOW WE HAVE ROOMS AVAILABLE,
AND IT'S MY WAY OF SAYING,

"THANKS FOR PARADING
THAT NICE BUTT AROUND HERE."

JEEZ!
NO KIDDING.
REALLY, IT'S A GREAT BUTT.

STOP IT.
NO. REALLY.
IT'S NO PROBLEM.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.

EITHER WAY,
THANKS FOR THE OFFER.

I'LL TELL MICHEL TO KEEP
A ROOM IN CASE YOU COME.

OKAY. SEE YA.
THANKS. BYE.

DID YOU KNOW THAT FRANK
RESCUES CHOW PUPPIES?
UH, NO.

HE FEEDS AND HOUSES THEM
ON HIS OWN DIME

TILL HE FINDS AN OWNER.
WE CAN'T FIRE HIM.

AND THEY ARE SO CUTE --
CHIN CHIN AND PAW PAW.

PAW PAW'S THE ONE
WITH THE SQUATTY LITTLE NOSE.

I TOOK THEM BOTH.

OKAY. GOOD JOB.

I GOTTA GO BUY DOG FOOD.
WILL YOU FIRE FRANK FOR ME?

SURE THING.

WITH THAT LAST FUNCTION, WE
RAISED ENOUGH TO PUT US IN THE
BLACK,

WHICH GOT THE SCHOOL COMPTROLLER
OFF OUR BACK,

WHICH WILL MAKE OUR LAST
ENDEAVOR THAT MUCH EASIER.

HAVEN'T WE ALREADY TALKED
ALL THIS STUFF TO DEATH?

YES, BUT WE NEED TO FILL IN OUR
LAST-MINUTE BOOSTER CLUB ADD-ONS
HERE.

YOU GET THE SCARY,
THREATENING LETTER?
YEP.

SO, ON TO GRAD NIGHT,
OUR LAST EVENT OF THE YEAR.

GOD,
THIS YEAR'S GONE BY FAST.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
MY FARRAH'S 18.

MY KID WAS 18
WHEN SHE WAS 10.

MEN.
WHAT?

LAY LOW. THEY'RE SETTING TRAPS.
WHAT ARE WE DOING THIS YEAR?

WE'RE THROWING A BIG PARTY
ON A YACHT.

THE PARTY STARTS
WHILE ITS IN DOCK,

IT SAILS FOR 3 HOURS, THEN
CONCLUDES WITH A FIREWORKS SHOW.

HOW'S THE FUND-RAISING
GOING?
TERRIFIC.

THE LAST FASHION SHOW ALONE
BROUGHT IN HALF OF WHAT WE NEED,

THE BAKE SALE TODAY BROUGHT
IN WAY MORE THAN I EXPECTED.

OH, THAT REMINDS ME.

WHAT'S THIS?
OUR CASHBOX.

YOU'RE THE GRAD NIGHT TREASURER.
I'M THE WHAT?

BEFORE YOU REACHED,
WE VOTED, YOU WON.

MAYBE THERE SHOULD BE A RECOUNT,
'CAUSE I STINK WITH MONEY.

THE VOTE WAS UNANIMOUS.

I WAS LATE.
CAN WE REVOTE?

DOUG WAS LATE, TOO,
HE WAS VOTED LEAD CHAPERONE.

GOODY.
WE CAN TAKE THEM.

IT'S REALLY NOT A TOUGH JOB,
LORELAI.

YOU JUST MANAGE THE CASH,
KEEP THE SIMPLE BOOKS.

ALTHOUGH IF YOU DON'T SHOW
AT OUR NEXT MEETING,

WE'RE GOING TO ASSUME
YOU RAN OFF WITH OUR MONEY.

NO. I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

HELLO, LADIES.
HOPE I'M NOT TOO LATE.

OH, AND GENTLEMAN.
SORRY.

OH, DOUG'S ONE
OF THE LADIES NOW.

WELL, GOOD TO SEE YOU ALL.
TERRY, CARRIE, LORELAI.

YEAH, GOOD.
SAME HERE.

SO, WHAT DID I MISS?
NOTHING MUCH.

LORELAI'S BEEN MADE
OUR GRAD NIGHT TREASURER.

YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE?
OH, YEAH. I'LL WATCH
THE LITTLE BOX HERE.

OTHER THAN THAT, THEY'VE BEEN
PICKING ON YOU MERCILESSLY.
PRETTY MUCH.

WELL, I'M HERE TO LEND YOU
GENDER SUPPORT.

SO, TERRY,
WHY DON'T YOU CONTINUE?

GREAT. WE WERE DISCUSSING
GRAD NIGHT.

THE YACHT.
SOUNDS GREAT.

WE'VE ALREADY SPOKEN
TO 6 CATERERS.

THEY'RE ALL EXCITED TO BID
ON THE PROJECT,

BUT A COUPLE ARE SO EXPENSIVE

THAT I KNOW THEY'LL PRICE
THEMSELVES OUT OF THE RUNNING.

WEIRD. VERY WEIRD.

IT'S AS IF WE HAD NO HISTORY.

HE TREATED ME JUST LIKE
HE TREATED WHAT'S-HER-NAME,

THE OVERLY COIFFED LADY AND THE
ONE WHO KEPT JIGGLING HER LEG.

I HATE THAT!
IT'S LIKE AN EARTHQUAKE.

AND HE WAS SO NONCHALANT.

SO STAND-OFFY?
NO. HE WAS JUST MAX.

AND I WANTED TO HOOK UP
WITH HIM AFTER TO TALK,

BUT VERY CONVENIENTLY,
HE EXCUSED HIMSELF

5 MINUTES EARLY
FOR AN APPOINTMENT.

AND I COULDN'T
WALK OUT WITH HIM

BECAUSE I'M THE STUPID
TREASURER, AND IT'D LOOK FISHY.

THEY MADE YOU TREASURER?
ARE THEY INSANE?

I TRIED TO TELL THEM. WHAT'S
WITH THIS APPOINTMENT NONSENSE?

AND NO EYE CONTACT.

HE NEVER ONCE
LOOKED AT YOU?

OH, HE LOOKED, BUT IT WAS
VERY LACKING IN MEANING.

WERE YOU LOOKING AT HIM
MEANINGFULLY?

NO. I WAS TRYING
TO PLAY IT COOL.

THERE YOU GO.
HE WAS DOING THE SAME THING.

YOU WERE BOTH JAMES DEANING IT,
KEEPING IT PROFESSIONAL.

NO. HE WAS NOT PLAYING AT IT.
I WAS. HE WAS REALLY IT.

WHAT?
COOL.

GOT IT.
SO --

[ GASPS ]
MAYBE YOU TWO NEVER KISSED.

ME AND MAX?
NO. WE KISSED.

MAYBE IT WAS AN ILLUSION.

IT WAS NOT AN ILLUSION,
DOUG HENNING. WE KISSED.

SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENED
TO ME WHEN I WAS 10.

I WAS SO INTO
LEIF GARRETT.

I FANTASIZED
ABOUT KISSING HIM SO MUCH

THAT AT SOME POINT,
I REALLY THOUGHT IT HAPPENED.

I KISSED MAX, SOOKIE.

I CAN STILL FEEL
LEIF'S LIPS ON MINE.
I KISSED HIM!

WHAT IS RORY'S TAKE?

I TOLD HER ABOUT THE KISS,
BUT IT'S WEIRD.

HE'S BACK AT CHILTON,

AND I'M HAVING SOME
INVOLVEMENT WITH HER TEACHER.

SHE'S DEALING WITH FINALS.
I DON'T WANNA STRESS HER OUT.

LORELAI, WHAT'S THE
ULTIMATE THING HERE?

DO YOU WANNA GET BACK TOGETHER?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M FEELING OR
WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.

I HATE THAT, IT'S SO
WISHY-WASHY, BUT IT'S TRUE.

I MEAN, TECHNICALLY,
I'M STILL SEEING ALEX,

ALTHOUGH IT'S MORE
INTERMITTENT THAN EVER.

I'M NOT SURE I WANNA
GET BACK WITH MAX.

THE KISS HAPPENED
OUTTA THE BLUE.

THE ALLEGED KISS.
SOOKIE, WE KISSED!

OKAY! CALM DOWN.

IF I KNEW WHERE MAX WAS ON THIS,
I'D KNOW BETTER WHERE I WAS.

IT'S LIKE GOING TO A STEAK
AND LOBSTER PLACE.

IT'S EASIER TO KNOW WHAT YOU
WANT ONCE YOUR DATE KNOWS.

LIKE, YOU WANT STEAK, HE'S
GETTING LOBSTER 'CAUSE THEN YOU
CAN SHARE

OR IF HE'S NOT YOU CAN GET SURF
AND TURF, YOU RISK LOOKING LIKE
A PIG,

SOME GUYS ARE TURNED ON BY THAT.
I'M NOT CONFUSED. I'M HUNGRY.

ME TOO. MAYBE LUNCH WILL
TAKE YOUR MIND OFF IT.
HOPE SO.

YOU SURE
THERE WAS REALLY AN ALEX?
STOP.

COME IN.

WELL, WELL, JESS MARIANO.
WHAT A PLEASURE. SIT DOWN.

I WAS TRYING TO BUY TICKETS,
AND THEY SAID TO SEE YOU.

SIT DOWN.

SO, THE PROM, HUH?

I WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT
YOU'D WANNA GO TO THE PROM.

MY GIRLFRIEND WANTS TO.
THAT'S TOO BAD.

WHAT? WHY?
BECAUSE YOU FLUNKED OUT.

I WHAT?

YOU'RE NOT GRADUATING, JESS.

PROM TICKETS ARE FOR
GRADUATING SENIORS ONLY.

GUESS YOUR
GIRLFRIEND'S OUTTA LUCK.

NOW, WAIT. I'M A LITTLE BEHIND.
I CAN CATCH UP. NO SWEAT.

YOU CAN'T.
YOU MISSED TOO MUCH.

IT HASN'T BEEN THAT MUCH.
31 DAYS YOU'VE BEEN OUT.

THE CUT-OFF'S 20.
THAT'S IT -- JUST LIKE THAT?

THAT'S IT.
THANKS FOR THE WARNING.

YOU MEAN THE 9 WARNING SLIPS
WE GAVE YOU WEREN'T ENOUGH?

THE MEETINGS I SET UP BETWEEN
YOU AND YOUR COUNSELOR,

BETWEEN US
THAT YOU BLEW OFF --

THAT WASN'T WARNING ENOUGH?

I CAN CATCH UP.
I'M SMARTER THAN ANYONE HERE.

AND HUMBLE, TOO.
I CAN CATCH UP. YOU'LL SEE.

THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE.
YOU'RE OUT.

FINE. I'LL TAKE SUMMER SCHOOL
IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.

GOOD, BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH.

YOU GOTTA TAKE THE WHOLE YEAR.
THE WHOLE YEAR? NO WAY.

THEN NO DIPLOMA.

[ SIGHS ]

AT LEAST LET ME GO TO THE PROM.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

WE'RE DONE HERE.
COME ON!

YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT COMING
BACK NEXT YEAR, MY DOOR IS OPEN.

I'M NOT GONNA MISS
THIS PLACE.

VICE VERSA.

NO, NO. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
WHAT?

I COUNTED THE MONEY IN THE
CASHBOX, AND I'M $18 SHORT.

WEREN'T YOU SUPPOSED
TO DEPOSIT THAT AT THE BANK?

BE JUDGMENTAL LATER.
HELP ME IN MY FISCAL CRISIS.

YOU COUNT THE MONEY
WHEN THEY GAVE IT?

I GLANCED AT IT.
YOU ARE A SUCKY TREASURER.

THE JOB WAS FORCED ON ME.

THE CASHBOX
MUST'VE BEEN SHORT TO START.

OR MAYBE A BURGLAR BROKE
IN HERE THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED.

A BURGLAR WHO BYPASSED OUR TV,
OUR STEREO, AND OUR JEWELRY

WENT STRAIGHT FOR
THE BOOSTER CLUB CASHBOX

AND TOOK $18
AND LEFT THE REST?

SOME BURGLARS ARE
LESS GREEDY THAN OTHERS.
I'M OUTTA ANSWERS.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO PUT
18 OF MY OWN DOLLARS IN

TO WARD OFF SUSPICION. YOU'RE
OFF TO THE PARTY EARLY?

JESS AND I ARE HELPING
THE BAND SET UP.
YOU'RE NOT TAKING YOUR PURSE.

YOU DON'T NEED MONEY., I.D.
WHERE WILL I KEEP
MY HOUSE KEY?

YOU PUT YOUR HOUSE KEY THROUGH
THE METAL THINGY ON YOUR BELT.

YOU'LL ONLY LOSE IT
IF YOU TAKE OFF YOUR BELT,

IF YOU'RE TAKING OFF
YOUR BELT FOR ANY REASON,

I'M NOT SURE
I WANT YOU COMING HOME.

BRILLIANT.

YOUR SHOES OKAY?
YOU GOT GOOD TRACTION?
TRACTION?

THERE WILL BE LIQUIDS OF VARIOUS
TEXTURES AND DISGUSTINGNESS.

ARE YOU EATING THERE?
IF THEY HAVE STUFF.

DON'T EAT CHIPS
OUTTA A COMMUNAL BOWL.

IT'S LIKE STICKING
YOUR HAND IN A TOILET.
NICE.

IF YOU'RE DESPERATE OFFER TO
REPLENISH THEM WITH NEW BAGS.

GRAB A HANDFUL
AND DUMP THE REST IN THE BOWL.

GOT IT.
KEEP IN MIND THAT GETTING UP ON
A TABLE AND PERFORMING A SONG

WILL HAUNT YOU FOR LIFE.
TRUST ME. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

I WASN'T PLANNING ON.
THOSE THINGS
ARE NEVER PLANNED.

ARE YOU GOING NOW?
YEP.

I'M GOING, TOO.
I'LL LOCK IT UP.

OTHERWISE,
I GOTTA UNDO MY BELT.

ENJOY YOUR BOOSTER CLUB
MEETING.

I WILL. HEY, HON.
YEAH?

I PROMISED I WASN'T
GONNA ASK YOU ABOUT MAX ANYMORE,

CONSIDERING THE HISTORY AND THAT
HE'S BACK TEACHING YOU AND ALL.

AND I'M GONNA KEEP
MY PROMISE. GOOD, HUH?

VERY GOOD.
OKAY, THAT'S ALL
I WANTED TO SAY.

OKAY.

[ SIGHS ]

DOES THIS SETUP
FEEL RIGHT TO EVERYBODY?

COOL BY ME.
ME TOO.

HOW'S IT LOOK OUT THERE?
LIKE YOU'RE GONNA BULLET

STRAIGHT TO THE TOP
OF THE CHARTS WITH A BULLET

OR A-A GUN'S GONNA
SHOOT A BULLET

AND I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH
THE PRECISE TERMINOLOGY,

BUT IT'S WORKING, RIGHT?

THEY LOOK LIKE A BAND.
YOU NEED TO MOVE BACK.

WHY?
BECAUSE WHEN I
DOUBLE JUMP KICK

OFF THE AMP WITH SLASHING
WINDMILLS, I NEED ROOM.

WELL, DON'T DO THAT THEN.
IT SOUNDS A LITTLE
TOO MILLI VANILLI.

IF I BACK UP, MY EXTENSION CORD
MIGHT DAMAGE THE DATE PALM.

WHAT?
THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED.

DON'T CALL PLANTS
BY THEIR SPECIFIC NAMES.

IT'S VERY NOT ROCK 'N' ROLL.
LET'S FINALIZE
THE SET LIST, GUYS.

NEED ANY HELP HIDING
THE VALUABLES, KYLE?

NOPE. STASHED THE SNOW GLOBES,
HID THE LLADRO.

WE'RE PACKING UP
THE HUMMELS.

TWO TO GO.
MARSHALL, WATCH IT!

"BOY WITH TOOTHACHE"
IS MOM'S FAVORITE.
SORRY.

HEY. DID I HEAR SOMETHING
ABOUT A DOUBLE JUMP KICK?

WE'LL TALK HIM OUT OF IT.
GOOD.

"ZEALOUS XYLOPHONIST."
THAT'S SWEET!

STARTING OFF WITH
A SLOW TUNE WON'T WORK.

YEAH. IT'S SO EMO
IT MAKES ME SICK.

I WAS JUST PLAYING
DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.

DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.

NOT A BAD NAME.

KE-E-E-E-E-E-G!

THAT'S MY COUSIN RICK.

HE JUST TURNED 21.
PRETTY AWESOME.

21! YEAH!

WHAT IS THAT -- BEER?

IT'S ONE OF THOSE MILK KEGS.
GOOD ONE.

THERE'S BEER.
IS THAT LEGAL?

WELL, APPARENTLY,
RICK IS 21.

21! WHOO-HOO!

OR JUST REALLY INTO
THAT PARTICULAR INTEGER.

BEER.
IT'S A PARTY, LANE.
WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING -- TANG?

NO. I GUESS NOT.

THE CARPET, GUYS.
LIFT IT. LIFT IT.

WE GOT IT.

MARSHALL,
GO GET TOWELS TO SET IT ON

AND NOT THE GOOD TOWELS --
THE SWIM TOWELS.

ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH?
WE GOT IT COVERED. THANKS.

HOW ABOUT YOU, LANE --
YOU NEED WATER OR ANYTHING?

STAY AWAY FROM THE BAND AREA.
WE GOT LOTS OF CORDS AND STUFF.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET
ELECTROCUTED AND DIE.

OH. OKAY.

IS HE STAYING
FOR THE WHOLE THING?

HE'S GOT
NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.

THESE ARE THE GOOD TOWELS.
THESE ARE THE SWIM TOWELS.

THE SWIM TOWELS HAVE STRIPES,
AND THEY'RE OVERSIZED.

WE STILL GOTTA PUT AWAY

MY DAD'S MILITARY ICON
COLLECTOR PLATES.

WE'RE A LITTLE EARLY,
DON'T YOU THINK?

WE'RE WITH THE BAND. WE'RE THE
ROADIES AND THE SOUND CREW

AND I'M ADVISING ON MAKE-UP FOR
LANE AND THE KEEPER OF BRIAN'S
SANDWICH AND THERMOS.

SO, WE'RE BUSY
BACKSTAGE-TYPE PEOPLE.

WE'RE DORK EARLY.

COME ON, GET INTO
THE SPIRIT OF THINGS.

HELLO, CLEVELAND!

GUESS I'LL WANDER AROUND
A LITTLE.

YAH!

YOU COULDN'T EVEN WORK
YOUR WINDMILLS IN.

MAYBE I'LL SKIP IT.
GOOD THINKING.

UH, MICHEL, ARE YOU OKAY?

DO I LOOK OKAY?
THEY WAITING FOR A BELLMAN?

THEY'RE WAITING FOR A
UNICORN TO SING TO A RAINBOW.

YES, A BELLMAN, THERE'S ONLY ONE
'CAUSE WE LAID OFF THE OTHER,

A MAID CALLED IN SICK.
NOT ONLY AM I ANSWERING PHONES
AND CHECKING PEOPLE IN AND OUT,

BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO DO
TURNDOWN SERVICE AND CARRY
PEOPLE'S BAGS --

GOING TO A BAD PLACE. TAKE
A BREATH, GO TO A GOOD PLACE.

I WENT HOME
AND PLAYED WITH MY PUPPIES,

THE CHOW BOOK SAID
THEY NEED LOVE AND STIMULATION

OR ELSE THEY'LL
MURDER YOU LATER ON.

AND PAW PAW HAD FALLEN
IN HER WATER BOWL

AND WAS SOAKING WET,
SO I HAD TO BLOW-DRY HER.

THE NICE PLACE. I CAN STAY
AND HELP A LITTLE BIT.

SHE COULD HAVE DROWNED.
I'M A BAD DADDY.

PAW PAW'S FINE.
WATCH THE DESK.

GET THE BELLMAN BACK HERE.
I'LL DO TURNDOWN.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN CHOW PUPPIES?
YOU WANT TO EAT THEM UP.

THEY'RE GETTING READY TO GO ON.
THEY'RE ALL HYPERVENTILATING
TO THE SAME RHYTHM.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
THE HAPPY FAMILY.

KIND OF DEPRESSING
IF YOU ASK ME.

MR. SUNSHINE, YOU'RE SPREADING
SO MUCH JOY AROUND

YOU'RE
EMBARRASSING YOURSELF.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET
A LITTLE MORE MOODY.
I'LL TRY.

LET'S LOOK AROUND
A LITTLE BIT.
OKAY.

[ CRYING ]

SEEMS A LITTLE EARLY
FOR THAT.
IT NEVER IS.

BATHROOM LINE.

FIGURES.

HEY,
WHAT'S UP WITH YOU GUYS?

STUPID KEG...
IT'S NOT WORKING.

WHERE'S THE TAP?
THE WHAT?

YOU NEED TO HOOK UP
A TAP TO PUMP THE BEER OUT.

I TOLD YOU THE THING
IN THE BAG DID SOMETHING.

NO INSTRUCTIONS.

JEEZ.

THERE.
START PUMPING.

ALRIGHT!
TO JESS!

TO JESS.
TO JESS.

YEAH.

YOU AND SPRINGSTEEN --
THE WORKING MAN'S HERO.

YOU READY TO GO ON?
ONLY IF BRIAN RALLIES.

WHAT'S WRONG, BRIAN?
I DON'T FEEL GOOD.

IT'S HIS HEARTBURN AGAIN.

I TOLD YOU, DUDE.
IT'S YOUR CITRUS INTAKE.

STOP EATING ORANGES.

RORY, YOU'VE GOT TO DO ME
A BIG FAVOR.

NAME IT.

YOUNG CHUI'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

IF YOU SEE
ANY UNATTACHED GIRLS

WHO WOULD GO
FOR A VERY AVAILABLE,

NEEDY, SELF-DELUSIONAL GUY,
SEND THEM YOUNG CHUI'S WAY.

I'LL KEEP A LOOKOUT.
LANE...

OH, MY GOD, THIS IS IT!
KNOCK 'EM DEAD.

BRIAN, YOU WITH US?
I'VE FORGOTTEN
HOW TO PLAY THE BASS.

PERFECT.
BRIAN, YOU'RE JUST NERVOUS.
USE YOUR INHALER.

DON'T FORGET THAT THE HAIR AND
FINGERNAILS ON JOHN ENTWISTLE

WERE STILL GROWING
WHEN THEY REPLACED HIM.

YOU'RE GONNA REPLACE ME?
WE'RE NOT GONNA
REPLACE YOU. JUST RELAX.

COME ON, LET'S GO!
YEAH. COME ON! ROCK 'N' ROLL!

ZACK, START.

SOMEONE'S GOTTA
INTRODUCE US.

RORY, INTRODUCE US.
ME, WHY ME?

COME ON, LET'S GO!

YEAH, CRANK IT!
GO, GO!

ALRIGHT, UH, NOW,
WHO WANTS TO HEAR SOME TUNES?

YEAH! YEAH!
YEAH! YEAH!

OKAY, GOOD,
THERE'S A CONSENSUS.

HERE THEY ARE, STARS HOLLOW'S
ROCKINGEST BAND --

ALTHOUGH THEY'RE NOT
ALL FROM STARS HOLLOW,

BUT THEY PRACTICE THERE,
SO WE CONSIDER THEM OUR OWN --

HERE THEY ARE --
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

THE CHOPS --
FOLLOW THEM TO
THE EDGE OF THE DESERT.

THE [ COUGHS, MUMBLES ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ MUSIC PLAYS ]

YEAH?
TURNDOWN.

COME ON IN.

HELLO, THERE.

THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.

LUKE!
LORELAI!

WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?
YOU INVITED US. REMEMBER?

US? OH, HEY, HI, NICOLE.

THERE'S THE US.
HI, LORELAI.

I DON'T USUALLY DO
THIS TURNDOWN SERVICE.

I DID WHEN I STARTED,
MANY MOONS AGO,

BUT THAT'S
WHEN I WAS A MAID.

WOW, YOU GUYS ARE HERE.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

I REMEMBER INVITING YOU.
IT'S GREAT THAT YOU'RE HERE.

BUT WHEN I TOLD MICHEL
I'D DO THE TURNDOWN SERVICE,

IT MUST'VE SLIPPED HIS MIND
THAT YOU WERE HERE.

PAW PAW FELL IN HER WATER DISH
WHAT?

I'LL DO THIS
AND GET OUTTA YOUR WAY.

HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
YEAH, WE CAN DO ALL THIS.

YOU'RE OUR GUESTS, YOU DESERVE
TO GET WHAT YOU'RE PAYING FOR.

WE'RE NOT PAYING.
NO, NO, BUT THIS IS WHERE
YOU START PAYING...IN SWEAT.

WHAT?
"FAME", RIGHT?

YEAH, DEBBIE ALLEN. "IN SWEAT."
I LOVED HOW SHE SAID THAT.

LET'S SEE.
YOU NEED TOWELS.

YOU CAN JUST GIVE THEM TO ME.
OKAY, HERE ARE YOUR TOWELS.

AND LET ME SEE -- OH,
I'LL DRAW YOUR CURTAINS CLOSED.

WHAT ELSE, WHAT ELSE?

IT'S BEEN A LITTLE WHILE
SINCE I'VE DONE THIS.

WANT A FIRE?
I DON'T KNOW, NICOLE?

A FIRE WOULD BE NICE.
OKAY, I'LL LIGHT IT FOR YOU.

WE HAVE THESE NEW LOG BAGS NOW.
MAKES IT REAL EASY.

YEAH.

OKAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO...NOTHING LIKE A FIRE
ON A COLD NIGHT LIKE THIS, HUH?

MM-HMM.

[ CLICKING ]
I'M NOT HAVING MUCH LUCK HERE.

AND, UH, YOU KNOW WHAT --
WE -- WE LAID OFF THE PERSON

WHO WAS ABLE TO LIGHT
THESE THINGS, NO PROBLEM.

WE LAID HIM OFF
BECAUSE OF A FIRE.

IT'S OKAY.
FORGET IT. I CAN LIGHT IT.

OKAY. OH, WHAT ELSE?

LET'S SEE.
OH, UM, WELL, TURNDOWN.

I NEED TO TURN DOWN THE BED.
REALLY, LORELAI...

OH, NO, NO.
UP, UP, UP.

OKAY, I'LL GET YOU
ALL SETTLED HERE,

NICE AND COMFY.

STRAIGHT LINES
WITH THESE COVERS HERE.

PILLOWS NICE AND PLUMP.

AND A COUPLE
OF PILLOW MINTS.

THERE YOU GO.
YOU'RE ALL READY TO --

YOU'RE ALL READY
FOR YOUR EVENING.
GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.

YES, GREAT, LORELAI.

YOU'RE ALL SET. CALL IF
YOU NEED ANYTHING

AND...HAVE FUN.

* WHITE RIOT, I WANNA RIOT *

* WHITE RIOT,
A RIOT OF MY OWN *

* WHITE RIOT, I WANNA RIOT *

* WHITE RIOT,
A RIOT OF MY OWN *

[ CHEERING ]

THANKS. WE'RE GONNA TAKE A SHORT
BREAK, AND THEN WE'LL BE BACK.

GUYS, THAT WAS AMAZING!

REALLY, IT WAS AWESOME!
THANKS.

YOU DID GOOD, BUT YOU GOT CLOSE
TO ME WHEN YOU WERE SINGING.

I GOT AS CLOSE AS I HAD TO.
YOUR NOSE TOUCHED MY CHEEK.
THAT'S TOO CLOSE.

GUYS, COME ON,
JUST BE HAPPY.

WE PLAYED,
AND WE DIDN'T SUCK, RIGHT?

YEAH, IT WAS GOOD.

COME ON, LET'S
SPREAD THE WORD --

ALL DRINKS
ON COASTERS, PLEASE.

THE COASTERS ARE THERE
TO BE USED, GUYS.

DAVE, WHAT'S WRONG?
I MEAN, WE TOTALLY ROCKED.

WE SOUNDED GREAT.
THEN WHAT IS IT?

THIS YOUNG CHUI
THING'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.

WHY?
WHY?

LANE, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA
BREAK UP WITH HIM?

IT'S COMPLICATED. YOUNG CHUI'S
VERY SENSITIVE RIGHT NOW.

I'M SORRY
BUT I DON'T CARE.

IF YOU GOT TO KNOW HIM,
YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

I WANT HIM TO BREAK UP WITH YOU
SO I CAN TAKE YOU TO PROM.

HE'S ACTING LIKE
HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU.
WELL...

IS HE?
KIND OF.

KIND OF?
APPARENTLY TOTALLY.

HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU,
THAT'S WHY HE WON'T BREAK UP,

SO HE TAKES YOU
TO YOUR PROM.

HE KNOWS YOUR MOM LIKES HIM
AND WE'RE OUTTA TIME.

WE'RE NOT OUTTA TIME.
PROM'S IN TWO WEEKS.

I'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN, I SWEAR.
IT'S TOO LATE.

I'LL SEE YOU
FOR THE NEXT SET.

DAVE!

SO, WHAT NOW?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.

GO WHERE?
ANYWHERE.

IT'S EARLY.
IT'S BORING.

JESS, WE CAN'T JUST GO.
YES, WE CAN.

THE BAND'S PLAYING
ANOTHER SET.

THEY CAN DO IT WITHOUT US.
I DON'T WANNA LEAVE.

COME ON.
TRY TO HAVE FUN.

TALK, MINGLE.
I DON'T WANNA
TALK TO ANYBODY ELSE.

I DON'T LIKE ANYBODY ELSE.

I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE.

I NEED TO STAY HERE
FOR LANE. COME ON.

GLOOMY.
WE'LL GO
WHEN THEY GET DONE PLAYING.

SURE, GRANDPA.
RORY...

WE'LL GO THEN.
I PROMISE.

HEY, YOU DROP A CHIP,
YOU PICK IT UP.

IT'S COMMON COURTESY, FOLKS.

HI, GUYS.

HEY.
HEY.

WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF LANE'S BAND?

I LIKED THEM, ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T
RECOGNIZE MOST OF THE SONGS.

SHE'S NOT
A MUSIC FREAK LIKE YOU.

WE CAN'T ALL BE FREAKS.
TRUE.

WHAT KINDA MUSIC DO YOU LIKE?
I DON'T KNOW, MICHELLE BRANCH,
MATCHBOX TWENTY.

JEEZ.

I LIKE THEM, TOO.
I LIKE ALL KINDS OF THINGS.

YOU USED TO GO TO OUR SCHOOL.
HE STILL GOES.

REALLY? I HAVEN'T
SEEN YOU AROUND MUCH.

ARE YOU THE ATTENDANCE MONITOR?

I'M GONNA GO SEE WHAT
THE HELL'S HOLDING UP THIS LINE?

HE'S NOT FEELING WELL.

THAT'S TOO BAD.
WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.

BYE.
BYE.

HEY, LANE, THERE'S
SOME GUY LOOKING FOR YOU.
GOOD. WHERE?

[ SIGHS ]

GIMLI THE DWARF
IS RIDING HIS HORSE

AND LEGOLAS GRABS THE STRAPS
AND SWINGS HIMSELF ON IT.

DUDE, THAT WAS AWESOME!

ANY MORE LEFT IN THAT THING?
PLENTY. FOAM OR NO FOAM?

ANYTHING YOU HAND ME, KYLE,
I'M DOWNING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

VERY REFRESHING.

AT THE END WHEN THE TREE'S ON
FIRE AND HE PUTS HIMSELF OUT IN
THE FLOOD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HI. SORRY I'M LATE.

ACTUALLY, I'M NOT LATE.
I WAS RIGHT ON TIME,

BUT THEN I REMEMBERED
I LEFT THE CASHBOX IN THE CAR.

I'M NOT USED TO HAVING TO
CARRY A CASHBOX.

SO I WENT BACK
AND GOT IT.

I WAS CARRYING IT
BY THE HANDLE,

AND THE STUPID THING
FLEW OPEN,

AND MONEY FLEW EVERYWHERE,
AND I MAY HAVE LOST 18 BUCKS.

ANYWAY, HERE I AM.

SO, WHERE'S DOUG?

I BELIEVE
WE SCARED DOUG AWAY.

I LOVE SCARING
THE DOUGS AWAY.

WE WERE TELLING US ABOUT
THESE RIDICULOUS DOCK FEES.

WE GOT
WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

A FINAL QUOTE
FROM THE YACHT OWNER,

WHO THEN REMEMBERS HE FAILED TO
MENTION AN EXORBITANT DOCK FEE.

UNBELIEVABLE.
AND I DON'T WANT TO PAY.

I MADE CALLS AND I'VE
SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO GET AROUND
IT.

BUT FIRST, LET ME BRING IN
A STUDENT FROM THE SENIOR CLASS,

WHO WANTED TO GIVE HER OWN
THOUGHTS ABOUT THE YACHT TRIP.

COME ON IN.

[ SIGHS ]
Oh, no.

PARIS GELLER.

LADIES, THANK YOU
FOR SEEING ME.

I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY
WITH WORK AND HAVE FAMILIES,

SO I APPRECIATE YOUR COURTESY,
AND I'LL MAKE IT BRIEF.

HAVING GRAD NIGHT ON A YACHT
IS THE WORST IDEA

SINCE NEVILLE CHAMBERLAIN
TOLD ENGLAND,

"DON'T WORRY ABOUT HITLER.
HE'S A STAND-UP CHAP."

FORGET THE INCONVENIENCE
OF BEING AT SEA

WITH GUESTS UNABLE TO LEAVE
IF THE PARTY IS DULL

OR IF THE BAND --
WHICH WILL BE COMPOSED

OF ACCOUNTANTS
WITH SEMI-MULLETS --

DECIDES TO DO A HALF-HOUR
TRIBUTE TO KENNY G.

THE SEASICKNESS FACTOR,
ABETTED BY SNUCK-IN FLASKS

AND BADLY COOKED FOOD,
COULD LEAD TO AN EPIDEMIC,

WHICH MAY LEAD TO LAWSUITS
THE SCHOOL CAN'T AFFORD.

THESE POINTS CALL
FOR A CHANGE IN VENUE

TO A HOTEL BALLROOM
OR RESTAURANT FACILITY,

SEVERAL OF WHICH I'VE CALLED.

HERE ARE THE RESULTS
OF MY RESEARCH.

I'VE ALSO INCLUDED
A LIST OF MARITIME DISASTERS

FROM THE PAST 50 YEARS --
CAPSIZINGS, ONBOARD FIRES, ETC.

AND TRUST ME. IT'LL PUT YOU
OFF YOUR LUNCH.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME
AND COOPERATION.

SO, MY THOUGHT IS TO DISCUSS
THESE YACHT FEES DIRECTLY

WITH THE YACHT OWNER FIRST.
ABSOLUTELY.

HELLO, EVERYONE, SORRY I'M LATE.
THAT'S OKAY.

I'M BARBARA EPSTEIN. I TEACH
DRAMA. I'LL BE YOUR FACULTY REP
TONIGHT.

WELCOME, BARBARA.
I JUST LEFT MAX MEDINA.

HE FILLED ME IN ON EVERYTHING.
THEN WE'LL GET A RUNNING START.

WE'RE DEALING WITH A FEE

THAT WE DON'T WANNA PAY
FOR THIS YACHT.

KEEP GOING, GIRLS.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OKAY.

JOAN, YOU GOTTA WATCH
THE CASHBOX.

WILL DO.

OH, SORRY. I'M JUST --
NEAREST BATHROOM?

THAT WAY, HUH?

I'M GONNA GO THIS WAY.

THE FARTHEST ONE
IS THE ONE I'M LOOKING FOR.

I TOLD A FRIEND I'D MEET
HER THERE, SO I'LL JUST...

GOTCHA.

Y-YOU SURE DID.
BAD TIME?

KIND OF.

BUSY?
REAL BUSY.

YOU'RE AVOIDING ME.

NO, I'M NOT.

THEN WHAT'S WITH
THE "I'M BUSY" THING?

I CAN'T BE BUSY?
THAT'S AVOIDING ME,
SAYING YOU'RE BUSY.

NO, IT'S DESCRIPTIVE
OF MY CURRENT STATE.

THESE ESSAYS ARE DUE TOMORROW,
I'M WAY BEHIND IN MY READING,

SO I'M EATING MY DAY-OLD
VENDING-MACHINE SANDWICH

AT MY DESK IN MY FUTILE
ATTEMPT TO CATCH UP.

TWO ROTATIONS.
WHAT?

IT'S IN THE BOOSTER-CLUB BYLAWS,
MY FRIEND. I LOOKED IT UP.

FACULTY ADVISERS
ARE SUPPOSED TO DO

A MINIMUM OF TWO CONSECUTIVE
ROTATIONS WITH THE BOOSTER CLUB,

AND YOU DID ONLY ONE.

I DID THREE.
WHAT?

I DID THREE.
YOU WENT TO MY THIRD ONE.

I DID THE PREVIOUS TWO
YOU WEREN'T AT.

I'M ASSUMING
YOU HAVE DOCUMENTATION.
LORELAI...

WITH LORELAI GILMORE,
IT'S "TRUST BUT VERIFY."

I'M SURE I COULD
SCROUNGE UP A WITNESS.

WHY'D YOU TREAT ME
WEIRD AT THE MEETING?

I TREATED YOU
WITH RESPECT AND KINDNESS.

THAT'S WHY IT WAS WEIRD.

IT'S HOW YOU TREATED
TERRY AND JOAN, TOO.

DID YOU ALSO KISS
TERRY AND JOAN?

I DID, AND DOUG.
HE WAS THE BEST.

MAX.
I WAS PLAYING IT COOL.
YOU WERE, TOO.

I WAS JUST FOLLOWING SUIT.

NO, I WAS PLAYING IT COOL
BECAUSE YOU WERE

AND I'M THE TREASURER, I GOTTA
BE COOL OR IT LOOKS SUSPICIOUS.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
10 FEET.

10 FEET?

THAT'S A SAFE DISTANCE FOR US,

THE MORE FURNITURE
IN BETWEEN, THE BETTER.

I'M NOT GONNA ATTACK YOU.

I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT ME.

THERE ARE PEOPLE
STILL WALKING THE HALLS,

THIS IS MY WORKPLACE,
I CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE

FOR WHAT I DO AROUND YOU. YOU'RE
LIKE A MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE

THAT CASTS SOME KINDA SPELL
ON ME, MAKES ME ACT STUPID!

I'M NOT STUPID. I DON'T ACT
STUPID WITH ANYONE ELSE!

WE'RE TOO CLOSE AGAIN!
I DIDN'T BRING A TAPE MEASURE!

I'M NOT GOOD
AT JUDGING DISTANCES.

YOU GOTTA HELP ME OUT.

IT'S A LITTLE BIGGER
THAN A BASKETBALL PLAYER.

KEEP A REALLY BIG
BASKETBALL PLAYER BETWEEN US.

I BET THERE'S A SENTENCE THAT'S
NEVER BEEN UTTERED BEFORE.

THERE ARE OTHER COMPLICATIONS
WITH THIS WHOLE THING.

JUST THOUGHT I'D TELL YOU.
WHAT OTHER COMPLICATIONS?

I WAS SEEING SOMEONE IN
CALIFORNIA. THERE, I SAID IT.

YOU MEAN, YOU WEREN'T LIVING
LIKE A TRAPPIST MONK

WHILE YOU WERE IN CALIFORNIA?
THAT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU?

MAX, WE WEREN'T TOGETHER.
I'VE BEEN SEEING SOMEONE, TOO.

I WOULD PROBABLY STILL
BE SEEING DIANE

IF I HADN'T MOVED BACK HERE.
THAT'S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT.

YOU CAN'T DATE ANYONE NOW
BECAUSE IF YOU'D STAYED IN

CALIFORNIA YOU MIGHT
STILL BE DATING DIANE?

YES -- NO. OHHH.

DO YOU WANT AN ASPIRIN?
I PROBABLY HAVE A TIC TAC.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TEASED YOU
WITH THAT ASPIRIN.

I THOUGHT WE WERE BOTH GOING TO
PRETEND TO IGNORE THE KISS.

WASN'T THAT THE DEAL?

WE HAD A DEAL?
I DON'T REMEMBER A DEAL.

YOU HAD YOUR SHOT, OKAY?

YOU HAD THE RING,
AND YOU SAID NO.

YES, I DID.

AND YOU SAID THAT
THAT WAS RIGHT FOR YOU, TOO.

YOU WENT TO STANFORD. YOU DATED
DIANE. IT WAS RIGHT FOR US.

WELL, WHAT IS THIS NOW,
RIGHT HERE?

IT'S US.
* TA-DA *

WELL, US NEED TO STAY APART.

OH, MAX, WE HAD A WHOLE COUNTRY
BETWEEN US FOR A YEAR.

THAT'S LIKE 11,000 BASKETBALL
PLAYERS LYING END-TO-END,

AND YET HERE WE ARE.
WE CAN'T AVOID EACH OTHER.

I THOUGHT I WAS OVER YOU
AND IT WAS SAFE TO RETURN

BUT, NO, NOT THE DEAL.
I JUST --

I THINK WE SHOULD STAY APART
AND NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

NO, IT'S NOT.

I'LL BE AT THE CHILTON
GRADUATION. SO WILL YOU.

I'LL SIT BEHIND A TREE.
WE COULD RUN INTO EACH OTHER
IN A DRUGSTORE AGAIN.

I'M GOING TO ORDER
ALL MY DRUGS ONLINE.

IF MY CAR BREAKS DOWN
NEXT TO YOURS, WILL YOU STOP?

I WILL STOP,
KEEP MY EYES STRAIGHT FORWARD,

CALL A GARAGE,
AND STAY IN MY CAR

WITH THE RADIO ON LOUD TILL
THEY COME, AND THEN I'M GONE.

[ SIGHS ]

AND I SAY WE START BEING
APART...RIGHT NOW.

OKAY.

WHATEVER YOU WANT.

THIS IS WHAT I WANT.

AND WHEN I WALK OUT THAT DOOR,

IT COULD BE
THE LAST TIME WE MEET.

OKAY.

I'LL ABIDE BY YOUR WISHES.

GOODBYE, LORELAI.

GOODBYE, MAX.

YOU SAID YOU WERE LEAVING.
MY CAR IS THAT WAY.

I GOTTA GO
THAT WAY, TOO.
AFTER YOU.

TWO SECONDS, WE'VE ALREADY
RUN INTO EACH OTHER.
DOESN'T COUNT.

YOUNG CHUI, HAVE YOU SEEN JESS?
I THINK I SAW HIM GO UPSTAIRS.

HAVE YOU SEEN LANE?

NOT FOR A WHILE. PROBABLY WITH
THE BAND. WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE?

I DON'T WANNA LOSE
THESE SEATS.

RIGHT, RIGHT.

IT'S JUST ME AND MARSHALL,
MOM, HONEST.

OKAY,
KISS UNCLE NEWTIE FOR ME.

BYE.

HEY, KYLE, MIND IF I USE
YOUR PHONE?
AS LONG AS IT'S LOCAL.

OH, IT'S LOCAL DISTANCE.
YEAH, DON'T WORRY.

HELLO, MAMA.
HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?

IT'S LANE.
YEAH, LANE.

NOTHING'S WRONG. IN FACT, I'M
FEELING PRETTY GOOD RIGHT NOW.

HAD A BEER AND A HALF --
NICE, COLD BEER --

AND I JUST THOUGHT I'D TELL YOU
I'M DRUMMING IN A BAND TONIGHT

AT A PARTY,
AND WE ROCKED.

WE WERE THE CLASH
AND RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

AND NIRVANA COMBINED.

AND I'M IN LOVE
WITH DAVE RYGALSKI.

NOT YOUNG CHUI. YOUNG CHUI'S A
SHIP IN THE NIGHT. NOT EVEN A
SHIP.

HE'S A LITTLE TUGBOAT
TOOTING ALONG.

I'M NOT GOING
TO THE PROM WITH HIM.

I'M GOING WITH DAVE,
BECAUSE WE ROCK TOGETHER, MAMA.

THE CHARADE IS OVER.

HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT I SHOULD'VE
DONE MONTHS AGO.

THAT WAS NOT YOUR MOTHER.
TELL ME THAT WASN'T YOUR MOTHER.

OH, THAT WAS THE MOTHER.
I AM LIBERATED, MY FRIEND.

YOU'RE DRUNK.
NO, I'M -- AM I?

WE'RE GOING ON IN 5 MINUTES.
CAN YOU PLAY?

I CAN HIT THE STICKS
ON THOSE BRUMS.

GREAT, GREAT,
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DRUMS?

DAVE.

THERE YOU ARE.
HEY.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.

I JUST GOT TIRED
OF EVERYTHING DOWN THERE.

ARE WE ALLOWED
TO BE UP HERE?

KYLE WAS
KIND OF DISCOURAGING IT.

WHEN YOU HAVE A PARTY,
YOU GET WHAT YOU GET.
YEAH, I GUESS.

SAD BOY. WHAT'S WRONG?

YOU WERE LOOKING FORWARD
TO THIS PARTY. WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING.
SOMETHING DID.

COME ON, TELL ME.

YOU'RE NOT TIRED OF ME,
ARE YOU?

THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD ANSWER.

JESS, WAIT.

JESS.

MMM. WAIT.

[ SIGHS ]

JESS!

[ SCOFFS ]
JEEZ!

NOT HERE! NOT NOW!
FINE!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
NOTHING!

SOMEONE COULD'VE WALKED
IN THAT DOOR!

AND SANTA CLAUS COULD COME
DOWN THE CHIMNEY! WHATEVER.

YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS GONNA
HAPPEN LIKE THIS, RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I THINK.
JESS --

RORY, STOP. JUST STOP IT!
I DIDN'T INVITE YOU HERE. YOU
CAME ON YOUR OWN!

[ Voice breaking ] I --

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID.

YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

RORY!

EXCUSE ME. SORRY.

RORY, ARE YOU OKAY?

YES -- NO. I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT HAPPENED?

[ SNIFFLES ]

FIGURES.

DEAN, NO!

FIGHT!

STOP IT, GUYS!

STOP IT!

YOUNG CHUI, WE GOTTA TALK.

DON'T TOUCH ME, DAVE.
I'M NOT GONNA TOUCH YOU.

I THINK IT'S TIME WE HAD A TALK
ABOUT THE LANE SITUATION.

JUST A TALK?
WE'LL KEEP IT FRIENDLY, HONEST.

OKAY.

GET OFF ME!
I'M TRYING.

[ CYMBAL CRASHES ]

BOGUS.

BREAK IT UP!

HEY, KNOCK IT OFF.

GUYS, JUST STOP IT!

LET GO OF ME!

COPS.

OH, NO, MAN, IS THAT...

"BOY WITH TOOTHACHE."

OH, YOU'RE DEAD.

OKAY, DUMP YOUR CUPS
AND GO HOME.

NOW!

JESS...

[ LANE RETCHING ]

LANE!

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]