All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S03E18 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

RICHARD, PLEASE,
WE ARE STARVING.

I WILL BE RIGHT THERE,
EMILY.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

HE WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND
SUDDENLY JUST HAD TO HAVE

THIS DISH THAT HIS GRANDMOTHER
WOULD MAKE HIM.

WE ALL UNDERSTAND
THE CRAVINGS.
IT'S A FAMILY SECRET.

WELL, LAST TIME I CHECKED,
I WAS FAMILY.
HE'S HAVING FUN, GRANDMA.

I SAW AN OPEN CAN OF CREAM OF
MUSHROOM SOUP.
NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OF THAT.

HERE WE ARE --
A TREAT FOR THE MASSES.
SMELLS GOOD.

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE THING
TO EAT AS A BOY.

MY GRAN USED
TO MAKE THIS

WHENEVER I WAS FEELING
A LITTLE SAD --

YOU KNOW, IF MY CRICKET
TEAM LOST

OR A GIRL I FANCIED
TURNED UP HER NOSE AT ME.
WELL, LOAD ME UP.

THERE WAS THIS CUTE CHICK
AT THE PHARMACY.

I USED MY BEST MATERIAL
ON HER AND NOTHING.

AT LEAST LET
PINA SERVE IT.

NO COMMENT ON MY
LESBIAN HILARITY.

MY, HOW FAR WE'VE COME.

PINA WILL SERVE TINY,
PROPER SERVINGS.

JOHNNY MACHETE NEEDS TO BE
PRESENTED IN A HEAP.

JOHNNY MACHETE?

THAT'S THE NAME OF
THIS VILE CONCOCTION.

IT'S DELICIOUS.
IT'S NOT BAD.

IT'S 12 DIFFERENT COLORS.

COME ON, MOM, EAT IT.

IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE
ALREADY DID.

EMILY.
I'M SORRY.
I'M HAPPY YOU'RE HAPPY.

AND TO PROVE IT, I WILL TAKE
EXACTLY THREE BITES OF THIS
BEFORE I THROW IT OUT.

THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

SO, GOOD FOOD,
GOOD COMPANY --

NOW LET'S MOVE ON TO
GOOD CONVERSATION.

RORY, WHAT IS NEW IN
YOUR LIFE?

WELL...
FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION IT.

NOW?
WHY NOT?

OKAY. MOM, DAD, WE HAVE
SOME REALLY BIG NEWS.

I GOT MY COLLEGE ACCEPTANCE
LETTERS BACK.

HARVARD, PRINCETON,
AND YALE.

AND AFTER GIVING IT A LOT OF
THOUGHT, I HAVE DECIDED.

I AM GOING TO YALE.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?
YALE.

I'M GOING TO YALE.

THAT'S WHERE YOU WENT,
DAD.

YOU LIKED IT, REMEMBER?
PASS THE JOHNNY MACHETE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME
TO GO TO YALE.

NO, WE DIDN'T.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.

WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?

I KNOW WE'VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES

OVER WHERE RORY SHOULD
GO TO SCHOOL,

BUT THAT'S BEHIND US NOW.

SHE'S GOING TO YALE, AND
THAT'S GOOD -- REALLY GOOD.

NOTHING BUT SMILES.

WE'RE BOTH VERY HAPPY
ABOUT IT.

BOTH.

HER AND ME.
SHE AND I.

EVERYBODY IN THIS ROOM NAMED
LORELAI IS OVER THE MOON

ABOUT THE GOING TO YALE.
WHICH MEANS THAT EVERYBODY ELSE
IN THIS ROOM NOT NAMED LORELAI

CAN BE EQUALLY OVER THE MOON
ABOUT THE GOING TO YALE.

I'M GETTING THE CHAMPAGNE.
I'M CALLING THE TALBOTS.

MAKE SURE YOU GLOAT OVER
THAT DIM-WITTED SON OF THEIRS

WHO COULDN'T EVEN GET
IN TO BROWN.

SHE'S GOING TO YALE!
SHE'S GOING TO YALE!

WHEN I GET BACK, I'LL TEACH
YOU THE FIGHT SONG.

[ CHUCKLES ]

* IF YOU'RE OUT
ON THE ROAD *

* FEELIN' LONELY
AND SO COLD *

* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS CALL MY NAME *

* AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW *

* OH, OH, OH *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANY, ANYWHERE
THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD *

SO?
IT LOOKS BURNED.

HOW LONG TO MAKE IT
NOT LOOK BURNED?

MAYBE TWO --

TOM, LET ME HELP YOU OUT.

THE ANSWER I'M LOOKING FOR
IS 10 DAYS,

BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN I HAVE TO
GET GUESTS BACK IN HERE AGAIN.

OKAY, 10 DAYS.
ARE YOU LYING TO ME?

WHAT'S THE ANSWER YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR THERE?
NEVER MIND. JUST GO FAST.

NEVER HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.

WELL, EVERYTHING'S FINE
IN THE KITCHEN.

WE HAVE TO GET THE GAS
LINE RECONNECTED.

HOW LONG WILL THAT TAKE?
THE PLUMBER'S IN THERE NOW
LOOKING AT EVERYTHING.

WE FORGOT TO CALL THE
RAPPAPORTS, AND THEY SHOWED UP.
WHAT DID YOU DO?

WELL, I CONVINCED THEM
THEY GOT THEIR DAYS MIXED UP,
AND I SENT THEM HOME.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO GET THEM
A ROOM SOMEWHERE ELSE?
YOU'RE WELCOME.

HEY, LAURA, TRY TO TRACK DOWN
THE RAPPAPORTS

AND SEE IF YOU CAN GET THEM INTO
THE BUNNYHOP INN.

OKAY, GRAB A SEAT AND LET'S GET
THE MEETING STARTED.

I'M HERE.
I BROUGHT BAGELS.

OH, TOBIN, GREAT.
I'M STARVING.

NORMALLY, I WOULDN'T
THINK OF IT,

BECAUSE WHAT BAGEL
STANDS A CHANCE

NEXT TO SOOKIE'S MAGICAL
MUFFINS AND SCONES?

OH, TOBIN, STOP.

TWO FULL PANTS SIZES, MY FRIEND,
ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.

WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?

HE IS THE NIGHT MANAGER.
IT'S DAY.

MICHEL, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY
STAFF MEETING.

I NEED HIM HERE.
I TOLD YOU I CANNOT BE IN
THE SAME ROOM WITH HIM.

IT'S AN HOUR OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
DEAL WITH IT.

HOLD IT.
IN CASE OF SOOT.

YOU'RE VERY SWEET.

WAIT, WAIT.

LET'S LET THE DRY CLEANERS DRUM
UP THEIR OWN BUSINESS, HUH?

[ LAUGHTER ]

MY CHAIR.

OH, I'M SORRY.

OKAY, SO, SHOULD WE GET A ROOM
OR WHAT?

WILL YOU JUST START
YOUR MEETING?

ALRIGHT, HERE'S
THE SITUATION.

EXCUSE ME, LORELAI.
MICHEL, DID YOU GET A BAGEL?

I DON'T WANT A BAGEL.
ARE YOU SURE?
THEY'RE KOSHER.

I DON'T EAT BAGELS.
BAGELS ARE LIKE GLUE
IN YOUR INTESTINES.

IT ENSURES THAT EVERYTHING
THAT ENTERS YOUR BODY

WILL REMAIN THERE UNTIL
YOU DIE.

EWW! SHUT UP.
OKAY, LET'S FOCUS.

AS YOU KNOW, THE FIRE PRETTY
MUCH WIPED OUT THE DINING ROOM
AND FIVE OF THE UPSTAIRS ROOMS.

TOBIN, ARE YOU OKAY?

I JUST...I JUST LOVE
THIS PLACE SO MUCH.

I'VE BEEN THE NIGHT MANAGER HERE
FOR FIVE YEARS,

AND I SPEND SO MUCH TIME
WALKING THESE HALLS,

LISTENING FOR FRIENDLY GHOSTS
FLYING AROUND --

MAKE A POINT, BAGEL BOY.

IT JUST HURTS ME TO SEE IT
WOUNDED, THAT'S ALL.

WELL, IT WON'T BE WOUNDED
FOREVER.

WE WILL REBUILD, AND WE'LL BE
BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER.

WE JUST NEED TO KEEP IT
GOING UNTIL THEN.

SO I NEED SOME IDEAS
ON WHAT TO DO.

YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING --
I'M SORRY. MAY I?

NO.
GO AHEAD.

A CELEBRITY WOULD
GENERATE A LOT OF PUBLICITY.

BUT HOW COULD WE GET
A CELEBRITY IN HERE?

I KNOW TONY RANDALL
AND RENEE ESTEVEZ.

I'D BE HAPPY TO PUT IN A CALL.

LOOK, I HATE
TO BRING THIS UP,

ESPECIALLY SINCE, I MEAN,
HOW DO YOU TOP RENEE ESTEVEZ,

BUT WE HAVE A SMALL NUMBER
OF ROOMS, YES?

THE LOBBY'S FINE, AND SOOKIE CAN
MAKE CERTAIN THINGS AT HOME --

MUFFINS, BAKED GOODS,
JAMS, ET CETERA.

SO THAT'S BREAKFAST,
AND WE HAVE BEDS,

AND IF WE ADD SOME FREE
WINE AND CHEESE
AROUND 5:00 IN THE AFTERNOON.

NO, WE'RE NOT BECOMING
A BED AND BREAKFAST.
YOU'RE BEING STUBBORN.

BED AND BREAKFASTS ARE
CUTESY AND ANNOYING.

IT FORCES PEOPLE TO MINGLE.
I DO NOT SUPPORT THE MINGLING.

ADDING A LITTLE GIMMICK WILL
BE INCENTIVE FOR PEOPLE TO KEEP
THEIR RESERVATIONS.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I HATE TO SAY IT,
NOT BEING
A B & B MAN MYSELF,

BUT MICHEL IS MAKING SENSE.

GET OFF MY SIDE IMMEDIATELY.

ALRIGHT,
I'LL CONSIDER IT.

SURE, IF HE SAYS IT,
YOU WILL CONSIDER IT.

I GOT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

IS IT BAD?
NO, IT'S GREAT.
YOU'RE GONNA BE THRILLED.

WARM UP.
CARTWHEELS ARE COMING.

KEEP TALKING.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

EXCUSE ME, LORELAI.

LISTEN, I KNOW YOU'RE
CRAZED RIGHT NOW,

BUT I ALSO REMEMBERED THAT YOUR
BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP ON FRIDAY,

AND, WELL, I GOT YOU
A LITTLE SOMETHING.

OH, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
DO THAT.

IT'S VERY SMALL.

TOBIN, I LOVE CANDLES.

AND IT'S SCENTED --
CAPPUCCINO.

GOD, THAT SMELLS GREAT.

I'M REALLY GLAD YOU
LIKE IT.
I DO. THANKS.

AND, LISTEN, I'M
THE NIGHT MANAGER HERE,

AND I'M VERY PROUD TO BE
THE NIGHT MANAGER,

BUT WITH EVERYTHING SO WACKY
CRAZY AROUND HERE RIGHT NOW,

IF YOU NEED SOME EXTRA HELP
DURING THE DAY, PLEASE CALL ME.

I MAY TAKE YOU UP ON
THAT OFFER, TOBIN. THANKS.

STAIRS SQUEAK.
STAIRS SQUEAK.

THERE'S A CHIP
ON THE BANISTER.
CHIP ON THE BANISTER.

THE PAINT'S CHIPPED IN
THE ARCHWAY,

AND THERE'S A BOARD LOOSE
IN THE ENTRYWAY,

AND THE CHIMNEY NEEDS TO
BE SWEPT.

MOM, LUKE CANNOT SWEEP
OUR CHIMNEY.
WHY NOT?

YOU NEED TO BE A CHIMNEY
SWEEP TO SWEEP A CHIMNEY.

IF DICK VAN DYKE CAN DO IT,
SO CAN LUKE.

LUKE IS GOING TO BE VERY SORRY.

HEY, LUKE HAS GIVEN ME FIVE
FREE HOURS OF HANDYMAN WORK

FOR MY BIRTHDAY FOR
THE LAST FIVE YEARS.

YOU HAVE GROSSLY EXPLOITED THAT
FOR THE PAST FOUR YEARS.

I DIDN'T MILK IT THE
FIRST YEAR LIKE I SHOULD HAVE.

THE SPIRIT OF GIVING IS
COMPLETELY LOST ON YOU.

BUT THE SPIRIT OF GETTING IS
ALIVE AND WELL.

IT WANTS ITS CHIMNEY SWEPT.

OOH! PUT DOWN LAUNDRY, TOO.

THEN CAN HE ALSO BUILD ME
ANOTHER BOOKSHELF?

I'VE NEVER BEEN PROUDER OF YOU
THAN I AM AT THIS MOMENT.

AND TELL HIM TO PAINT LITTLE
FLOWERS ON IT.

'CAUSE HE'S SO GOOD
WITH THE FLORALS.
HELLO?

I FINISHED THE PAPER ON
DICKINSON, THE PHYSICS TEST
WAS FOR A THIRD GRADER,

I PICKED THE HISTORY OF THE
EGYPTIAN POLITICAL PROCESS AS MY
INTERNATIONAL-HISTORY PROJECT.

YOU'VE BEEN VERY BUSY.
I'VE BEEN VERY BORED.

WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK
TO SCHOOL?

TOMORROW. MY MOM'S
BRINGING HOME A NEW FACE.
THERE'S A DOCTOR IN FRANCE

WHO INJECTS SOME KIND OF GEL
INTO YOUR HEAD AND THEN MOLDS IT
TO GIVE YOU BETTER CHEEKBONES.

SHE NEEDS TO SLEEP ON HER
BACK.

OTHERWISE, HER FACE WILL
FLATTEN LIKE A CREPE.
OH, MY GOD. IT'S "BRAZIL."

I'LL PROBABLY HAVE TO GO BACK TO
SCHOOL WHEN THEY GET HOME.
IT WILL BE FINE.

ARE PEOPLE STILL TALKING ABOUT
MY MELTDOWN SPEECH?

NO.

WHO CARES WHAT THEY'RE
SAYING, PARIS?

GIVE ME MORE HOMEWORK.
IT'LL KEEP MY MIND OFF MY LIFE.

THERE IS NO MORE. I THINK YOU'VE
ALMOST FINISHED
YOUR FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE.

I CAN'T JUST SIT HERE.
I'LL GO CRAZY.

WHY DON'T YOU GO OUT
AND DO SOMETHING FUN?
LIKE WHAT?

IT'S YOUR LAST DAY OF FREEDOM.
GO BE WILD, GO CRAZY.
DON'T THINK, JUST DO.

DO WHAT?
YOU'RE THINKING.

WHAT IF --

PARIS, DON'T THINK.
OKAY, I WON'T THINK.

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

DO YOU THINK LUKE CAN
KNOCK THIS WALL OUT

AND BUILD US A BIGGER
KITCHEN IN FIVE HOURS?

YOU'LL HAVE TO DROP THE LAUNDRY.
NEVER MIND.
OH, MY GOD, I'M EXHAUSTED.

ARE YOU TOO EXHAUSTED TO TALK
ABOUT BIRTHDAY WEEK?

I'M NEVER TOO TIRED TO TALK
ABOUT BIRTHDAY WEEK.

OKAY, SO, MONDAY I
THOUGHT WE'D START

WITH FACIALS AT SLOOPY'S
AFTER SCHOOL.

MUDPACK MONDAY.
I LOVE IT.

THEN WE'LL HAVE DOUBLE-FEATURE
TUESDAY, SEPHORA WEDNESDAY,

COMPLIMENTARY-MAKEOVER
THURSDAY,

AND THEN BIG, FAT,
FABULOUS FRIDAY.

D-DAY.
B-D-DAY.

CULMINATING IN THE
FABULOUS BLOWOUT
OF A PARTY YOU'RE PLANNING.

OH, I'M SORRY.
YOU WANTED A PARTY?

I TOLD EVERYONE YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO MAKE A BIG DEAL.

MISS PATTY AND BABETTE WANTED TO
HIRE THESE TWO HOT GUYS

TO CARRY YOU AROUND ALL DAY AND
FEED YOU BONBONS,

AND KIRK WANTED TO HIRE
THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS

BUT I SAID, "PLEASE
RESPECT THE LADY'S WISHES.

SHE DESERVES THAT AT
HER AGE."

WHY ARE YOU SO COOL?
I HAVE TO GO.

WHERE?
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

YOU ARE PLANNING SOMETHING FOR
FRIDAY NIGHT, AREN'T YOU?

TELL PEOPLE I JUST COULDN'T
ACCEPT A NEW CAR.

IT WOULD BE BENEATH ME, AND I'D
BE COMPLETELY HUMILIATED.

AND A CONVERTIBLE WOULD JUST
MAKE ME FLING MYSELF

OFF A BUILDING.

BYE.
BYE.

HELLO?
LORELAI GILMORE?

I'M CALLING FROM
RICHARD GILMORE'S OFFICE.

NEVER HEARD OF HIM.
RICHARD GILMORE
YOUR FATHER.

OH, TALL, BOW TIE?
YES.

I'M WITH YOU NOW.
GO AHEAD.

WELL, HE'D LIKE TO SET UP
AN APPOINTMENT

TO MEET YOU FOR COFFEE.
WOULD TOMORROW WORK FOR
YOU, 2:00?

MAKE THAT 3:00, KAREN.

I HAVE THAT CONFERENCE CALL
AT 2:00.

IS THAT MY FATHER?
PUT HIM ON THE PHONE, PLEASE.

BUT --
HAND IT OVER, HONEY.

COME ON, LET'S GO.
CHOP-CHOP.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SHE WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

TELL HER I'LL MEET HER
TOMORROW.
IT DIDN'T WORK.

BUT I PAY YOU TO MAKE
MY APPOINTMENTS.

DAD!

LORELAI, HELLO.

YOU WERE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO
THIS WOMAN WHILE SHE CALLED ME?

SHE'S MY SECRETARY, LORELAI.
YOU WERE SITTING
RIGHT THERE?

THIS IS THE WAY A PROPER
BUSINESS IS CONDUCTED.
TWO FEET FROM THE PHONE.

I'M NOT GONNA ARGUE WITH YOU.
ARE YOU AVAILABLE
TOMORROW OR NOT?

WHAT IS THIS, DAD?
I HAVE SOMETHING
TO DISCUSS WITH YOU.

DISCUSS IT NOW.
I DON'T HAVE TIME NOW.

PUT MRS. HUH-WIGGINS ON
THE PHONE. HAVE HER TELL ME.

CAN YOU MEET ME TOMORROW
AT 3:00 OR NOT?
FINE. WHERE?

KAREN WILL CALL YOU
TOMORROW TO CONFIRM IT
AND TELL YOU THE PLACE.

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL
ME NOW?

LEAVE ME JUST A SEMBLANCE OF
MY STRUCTURE, PLEASE.

FINE. I'LL TALK TO THE WOMAN
RIGHT NEXT TO YOU TOMORROW.

SO THAT'S A 4-FOOT
CHOCOLATE CAKE

WITH INDIVIDUAL VANILLA
CUPCAKES ON TOP

SPELLING OUT "HAPPY 16th
BIRTHDAY, LORELAI.
THAT'S RIGHT.

WOULD YOU LIKE BUTTERCREAM OR
WHIP-CREAM FROSTING ON THAT?

CAN YOU DO BOTH?
THAT'S A LOT OF FROSTING.

I KNOW, BUT IT'S MY MOM'S
FAVORITE PART.

ONCE WE TRIED TO MAKE A CAKE
ENTIRELY OUT OF FROSTING,

WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE BETTER IN
THEORY THAN IN ACTUAL EXECUTION.

WELL, BOTH FROSTINGS
IT IS THEN.

WHAT TIME DO YOU WANT IT?
MISS PATTY WILL PICK IT UP
AROUND 5:00.

YOU'RE ALL SET.
THANKS, FRAN.

WE HAVE A GLITCH.

APPARENTLY, THE WORLD'S LARGEST
PIZZA WAS 122 FEET, 8 INCHES.

IT SAYS IT RIGHT THERE.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
WE CAN'T DO THAT.

THEN WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE IT THE
LARGEST PIZZA IN CONNECTICUT.

ACTUALLY, LITCHFIELD MADE ONE
LAST YEAR THAT WAS 98 FEET.

THE BEST THEY COULD DO
WAS A 12 FOOTER.

MAYBE YOU COULD MAKE HER
THE BIGGEST SOMETHING ELSE.

LIKE WHAT?
TACO?

THAT WOULD BE A LITTLE DIFFICULT
TO SERVE.

IT WOULD DEFINITELY BE MORE
OF A COMMITMENT.

WE'LL JUST TELL HER IT'S
THE WORLD'S BIGGEST PIZZA.

LIE?
IT'S FOR HER OWN GOOD.

HOW'S THE MUSIC
SELECTION COMING?

GOOD. I'VE DECIDED TO CHOOSE
ONE SONG

FROM EACH YEAR IN
LORELAI'S LIFE.

I'VE HIT A SNAG IN 1974.
BAD YEAR?

IT'S MAKING THE YEAR OF
THE MACARENA LOOK INSPIRED.

CAN YOU STASH THIS AT YOUR
HOUSE TILL THE PARTY?

IRONIC, ISN'T IT --

YOU HAVING TO HIDE THINGS
AT MY HOUSE?

LIFE HAS COME FULL CIRCLE.

HEY, I GOT THE VIDEO
FOR TONIGHT -- "ALMOST FAMOUS."

NO, NOT AGAIN.
I CAN'T HELP IT.
I'M ADDICTED.

IF I'M GOING TO SPEND
TWO HOURS

WATCHING KATE HUDSON COMMIT
SUICIDE AGAIN,

THEN WE ARE ORDERING
INDIAN FOOD.

LAST NIGHT, WHEN WE WATCHED
"ED WOOD,"

WE GOT BURGERS LIKE YOU
WANTED TO.

TONIGHT, INDIAN FOOD, BUT
TOMORROW, "SATURDAY NIGHT
FEVER" AND THAI FOOD.

YOU'RE LIKE A REALLY SWEET, OLD,
AGORAPHOBIC COUPLE.

OKAY, I'VE GOTTA GO.
BYE.
BYE.

SO, IT'S BEEN A COUPLE DAYS
SINCE YOU MADE THE BIG DECISION.

YOU STILL GOING TO YALE?
YES, I AM.

IT'S GOT ALL THE CLASSES I WANT
AND SOME REALLY GREAT TEACHERS.

PLUS, AS AN ADDED BONUS,
IT'S REALLY CLOSE TO HERE.

22.8 MILES.
HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

DO YOU YAHOO!?

YOU LOOKED IT UP?
YEAH.

YOU LOOKED IT UP.

I JUST HIT A COUPLE BUTTONS
ON A COMPUTER.
YOU LOOKED IT UP.

I WAS BORED. THERE WAS NOTHING
ON TV, AND I WAS FOOLING AROUND.

IT WAS SOMETHING TO DO.
THAT'S IT.
YOU LOOKED IT UP.

I'D LIKE THE WORDING TO BE
A LITTLE HARSHER.

TAYLOR, IT ALREADY SAYS
THAT IF AUNT TILLY'S TAFFY
DELIVERS EVEN TWO HOURS LATE,

THEY FORFEIT ALL PAYMENT FOR
THAT PARTICULAR SHIPMENT

AND ARE LIABLE FOR ANY LOSS OF
INCOME THAT MAY RESULT.

IT'S PRETTY EXTREME.

WELL, IT MAY SEEM EXTREME

THESE CANDY PEOPLE ARE
SHIFTY CHARACTERS.

WHY DON'T WE LEAVE THE WORDING
LIKE IT IS FOR NOW
AND SEE HOW THINGS GO?

YEAH, YOU CAN SEND OVER A COUPLE
OF OOMPA LOOMPAS

TO KICK THE CRAP OUT OF
AUNT TILLY.

ARE YOU STILL DATING HIM?
YES, I AM.

WHY? IF YOU'RE LONELY,
I HAVE A NEPHEW I WOULD
LOVE TO INTRODUCE TO YOU.

HE JUST GOT BACK FROM A 3-YEAR
STINT IN A BIOSPHERE IN ARIZONA.

CAN I GIVE HIM YOUR NUMBER?
NO.

I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.
IT'S MY LUCKY DAY.
IS HE DONE?

WE'LL LEAVE IT YOUR WAY
AND SEE HOW IT WORKS OUT.

SO, LISTEN, AFTER I DISPOSE OF
TAYLOR'S BODY,

ARE WE HITTING
A MOVIE TONIGHT?
YEAH, WE ARE.

LUKE, COULD YOU SIT
FOR A SECOND, PLEASE?

I COULD.
COULD YOU DO IT SOON?

IF I SIT DOWN, ARE WE GONNA
HAVE THE CONVERSATION?

LUKE, PLEASE.

HERE COMES THE CONVERSATION.

MY PARENTS ARE COMING
INTO TOWN,

AND I'M GOING TO HAVE
LUNCH WITH THEM,

AND I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D
LIKE TO JOIN ME.

JOIN YOU.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO
MEET YOUR PARENTS.

IT'S JUST THAT I HAVEN'T MET ANY
PARENTS FOR A LONG TIME.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

I'M JUST GIVING YOU
THE OPTION.

JEEZ, MAN, JUST MEET HER
PARENTS ALREADY.

SO WHAT IF THEY HATE YOU?
YOU'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO PUT YOU
ON THE SPOT.

I'M NOT ON THE SPOT.
REALLY, I'M COMPLETELY
OFF THE SPOT.

I'M [CLEARS THROAT] SPOTLESS.

UH, WHAT TIME'S THE LUNCH?
2:00 ON THURSDAY.

OKAY, 2:00 ON THURSDAY,
I'LL BE THERE.

THAT'S GREAT.
SO I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT?

I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

I HAVE TO GO.

WHERE?
SCHOOL.

OH, SCHOOL. OKAY.

WELL, HAVE A GOOD DAY
AT SCHOOL.

I WILL.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

MILLS COLLEGE.

ISN'T THAT THE ONE WHERE ALL
THOSE GIRLS CRIED

BECAUSE THEY WERE GONNA LET
BOYS IN?

WHY ARE YOU GOING THERE?
IT'S THE ONE THAT TOOK ME.

WHY'D YOU APPLY?
I NEEDED A FALL-BACK OPTION.

WELL, FALL BACK RIGHT INTO SOME
BIG MAMA'S LOVING ARMS.

EW. DEPRESSING.
DID YOU DECIDE?

LAST NIGHT.

BRANDEIS?
TULANE.

THE BIG EASY.
ENOUGH SAID.

OH, PARIS, HI.
YOU'RE BACK.

OH, MY GOD.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NOSE?

YOU HAD IT DONE.
I DID NOT HAVE IT DONE.

DID YOU FALL?
NO, I DIDN'T FALL.
I HAD IT PIERCED.

YOU WHAT?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO GO OUT
AND DO SOMETHING CRAZY.

I MEANT HAVE SOME ICE CREAM, SEE
THREE MOVIES, BUY A NEW PURSE.

I DIDN'T MEAN POKE A THIRD HOLE
IN YOUR NOSE.

I DIDN'T BUY A NEW PURSE.
I PIERCED MY NOSE.

AND WITHIN AN HOUR MY NOSE
SWELLED UP TO FOUR TIMES ITS
NORMAL SIZE,

BLOCKING ALL NASAL PASSAGES,
MAKING IT IMPOSSIBLE TO BREATHE.

I WENT TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM,
WHERE THEY PRIED THE THING
OUT OF MY NOSE.

I SPENT THE NIGHT WITH AN ICE
PACK STRAPPED TO MY FACE.

IT SEEMS THAT I WAS ALLERGIC TO
THE CRAP METAL HOOP

THAT I PAID $19.95 TO HAVE
JAMMED INTO MY NOSE.
DID YOU TAKE A PICTURE?

I WAS A LITTLE BUSY TRYING TO
GET AIR TO MY BRAIN CELLS.

PARIS, I'M SO SORRY.
I DIDN'T --

HELLO?
RORINO?
GOOD. I CAUGHT YOU.

THERE'S A BIT OF A DESIGN FLAW
IN THE PIZZA HERE.
WHAT KIND OF DESIGN FLAW?

THE CRUST IS NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO SUPPORT ALL THE TOPPINGS
WE TALKED ABOUT.

WE MIGHT NEED TO PUT IN
A SECOND CRUST.
A SECOND CRUST?

ABOUT 3/4 OF THE WAY IN --
SORT OF LIKE A RETAINING WALL.

WHAT ABOUT JUST MAKING
THE CRUST THICKER?

OKAY, WE'RE BRAINSTORMING.
I GOT IT.

A THICKER CRUST --
THAT MIGHT DO IT.

LET ME NOODLE AROUND WITH THAT
FOR A WHILE AND GET BACK TO YOU.
OKAY. BYE, PETE.

I WILL NOT LET YOU LOOK AT MY
NOSE FOR $10, YOU SICK JOB.
BEAT IT! NOW!

COME BACK WHEN YOU HAVE
A $20.

WHAT?
JUST MAKING LEMONADE HERE.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

I'M COMING.

OHH.

[ KNOCKING CONTINUES ]

COMING!

HIYA!

YOUR SLAVE IS HERE.

AND WHERE'S THE FRENCH-MAID
OUTFIT I REQUESTED?

I'VE GOT IT ON
UNDER THE PLAID.

WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

SO HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE
A YEAR OLDER?

I'M NOT A YEAR OLDER
UNTIL FRIDAY, FIFI.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
MY BIRTHDAY MALLOMARS.

SHE SAYS LIKE I SHOULD
JUST KNOW THIS.

HERE'S YOUR LIST.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL?

IT'S NOT DISPOSING.

NEXT.
YOU'RE SO GOOD.

YOU EVER CONSIDER
THE POSSIBILITY

OF JUST PULLING THE SPOON
OUT YOURSELF?

I DID CONSIDER IT, YES.

DO YOU WANT TO START
UPSTAIRS OR DOWN?

'CAUSE THERE'S ACTUALLY MORE TO
DO UPSTAIRS THIS TIME.

WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?
WHAT?

YOU ATE THE COOKIE, AND THEN YOU
TOOK A COOKIE OUT OF THE BOX

AND PUT IT WHERE THE COOKIE
YOU JUST ATE WAS.

WELL, THAT'S NUTS.

RORY MADE THIS FOR ME.
I DON'T WANT TO RUIN IT.

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST EAT ONE
OUT OF THE BOX?

THIS ONE WAS RIGHT HERE.
THE BOX WAS IN THE CUPBOARD.

BUT YOU HAD TO GO TO
THE CUPBOARD TO GET THE BOX

TO REPLACE THE COOKIE YOU ATE
OFF THE TABLE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]
I'M LOOKING AT THE LIST NOW.

OKAY, STAIRS, GUTTERS...

ELECTRICAL OUTLET --
WHICH ONE?

IN THE BATHROOM.

BY THE SINK OR THE BATHTUB?
BATHTUB.

SO I CAN DO MOST OF THIS
LIST TODAY,

BUT I CAN'T PUT UP THE TOWEL
RACK UNTIL LATER.

I DIDN'T BRING MY DRILL.

DIRTY, YES -- I KNOW.

I'LL BE HERE TOMORROW AFTERNOON
IF YOU WANT TO COME BY THEN.

I CAN'T. I'M HAVING LUNCH
WITH NICOLE'S PARENTS.

REALLY?

THEY'RE COMING INTO TOWN.

SO NICOLE THOUGHT
I SHOULD MEET THEM.

MAKES SENSE.

YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW,

WE'VE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER
FAIRLY REGULAR NOW,

SO IT MAKES SENSE.

YEAH, I THINK IT'S GREAT.

YEAH, I DO, TOO.

I SHOULD GET STARTED
UPSTAIRS.

BY THE WAY, YOU WERE
RIGHT ABOUT JESS.

WHAT ABOUT JESS?
HE'S NOT GOING TO SCHOOL.

ARE YOU SURE?

I WATCHED HIM HEAD RIGHT
TOWARD THE SCHOOL,

AND WHEN HE THOUGHT NO ONE
WAS WATCHING, HE GOT
IN HIS CAR AND DROVE OFF.

SO I GOT IN MY TRUCK
AND FOLLOWED HIM.
TO WAL-MART.

HE'S BEEN LYING TO ME
THIS WHOLE TIME.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I'M GONNA TELL HIM I KNOW
WHAT HE'S BEEN DOING,

REMIND HIM THAT HE'S SUPPOSED
GRADUATE FROM SCHOOL.

AND THEN...I'M GONNA TELL HIM I
KNOW WHAT HE'S BEEN DOING.

I'M SORRY, LUKE.
WELL...
I'M GONNA BE UPSTAIRS.

OKAY. CALL IF YOU
NEED ANYTHING.

RORY!
HEY, JACKSON.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?

I'M TRYING TO TRANSPORT ALL THE
SODAS FOR THE PARTY IN ONE TRIP,

WHICH SEEMED SILLY WHEN
I FIRST CAME UP WITH THE IDEA,

AND IT'S RAPIDLY GROWING
IN ITS STUPIDITY.

I NEVER TOOK YOU FOR BEING
THOUGHTLESS, BUT I WAS WRONG.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU REALLY HURT SOOKIE,
YOU KNOW THAT?

WHY? WHAT DID I DO?

WHAT DID YOU DO?
HMM, LET ME SEE.

WHAT DID YOU DO?

UH, JACKSON, IF YOU COULD
STOP MOVING AROUND --

I JUST HEARD THAT YOU'RE MAKING
THE WORLD'S LARGEST PIZZA

FOR LORELAI'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

YES.

AND IT DOESN'T OCCUR TO YOU TO
CONSULT SOOKIE?

OH. OH, NO.

THE WOMAN IS A GOURMET CHEF AND
LORELAI'S BEST FRIEND,

AND YOU DON'T INCLUDE HER
IN THIS?

BUT SOOKIE'S AN ARTIST.

PIZZAS DIDN'T REALLY SEEM
TO BE HER THING.

EVERYTHING'S HER THING,
YOUNG LADY.

JACKSON, I WOULD NEVER
PURPOSELY HURT SOOKIE.

BESIDES, IT'S NOT THE WORLD'S
LARGEST PIZZA.

IT'S NOT EVEN THE TRICOUNTY
AREA'S LARGEST PIZZA.

I HAVE A SOBBING PREGNANT WOMAN
AT HOME, WHICH IS NOT UNUSUAL,

EXCEPT THIS TIME,
I DIDN'T CAUSE IT.
I'M SO, SO SORRY.

AND BY THE WAY, THERE WOULDN'T
HAPPEN TO BE VEGETABLES

ON THAT PIZZA, WOULD THERE?

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU GOT THE MEMO OR NOT,

BUT I HAPPEN TO BE
A PRODUCE MAN.

AND A DARN GOOD ONE
AT THAT.

YET I DON'T REMEMBER A CALL

ASKING ME TO HANDLE
THE VEGETABLES.

WAS THERE A CALL?
DID I JUST MISS IT?
WAS I OUT?

WELL, YOU SEE, THE VEGGIES WERE
INCLUDED IN THE PRICE.

HMM!

JACKSON, I'M SORRY!

I HOPE YOU AND YOUR WORLD'S
LARGEST PIZZA

WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

IT'S NOT THE LARGEST PIZZA
IN THE WORLD.

WE MAY BEAT WOODBRIDGE, BUT
THAT'S IT, I SWEAR.

SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.

EVERYTHING OKAY?
OH, YES.

JUST HAD A FEW CALLS TO MAKE

THAT TOOK UP A BIT MORE TIME
THAN I HAD ANTICIPATED.

HAVE YOU BEEN HERE LONG?
20 MINUTES
AND 2 PIECES OF PIE.

AMAZING. WELL, THEN, LET'S GET
RIGHT DOWN TO IT, SHALL WE?

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING
TO DRINK?

ICE TEA, PLEASE.

ANOTHER CUP OF COFFEE,
LORELAI?

SO, LORELAI.
SO DAD.

I APPRECIATE YOU TAKING THE TIME
OUT TO MEET ME LIKE THIS.

I APPRECIATE YOU ACTUALLY
SHOWING UP AND NOT SENDING
YOUR SECRETARY.

I ASSUME YOU'RE WONDERING WHY
I ASKED YOU HERE.

NOT AT ALL.

WELL, I HAVE SOMETHING
FOR YOU.

IS IT A HAT?
NO.

IS IT A PURSE?
NO.

LORELAI...

GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL?

WHEN YOU WERE BORN, I DECIDED
TO CELEBRATE,

SO AS SOON AS YOUR
MOTHER WENT TO SLEEP,

I LEFT THE HOSPITAL,
I CALLED MY BUSINESS MANAGER,

AND I MADE A REAL-ESTATE
INVESTMENT.

YOU DO KNOW HOW TO PARTY,
DON'T YOU?

I MADE THIS INVESTMENT
IN YOUR NAME.

WOW. MOST PEOPLE JUST BUY
A STUFFED BEAR.

THIS IS BETTER.

ANYHOW, A LITTLE WHILE AGO,
I GOT A LETTER FROM A LAWYER

WHO WAS REPRESENTING
THE INVESTMENT GROUP,

INFORMING ME THAT THE
GOVERNMENT IS BUILDING A ROAD

RIGHT THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF
YOUR INVESTMENT.

HOW SAD.

WHICH MEANS THAT THE COMPLEX
HAS BEEN SOLD

AND ALL THE INVESTORS WILL BE
RECEIVING A CHECK.

HAPPY.

SINCE YOU ARE ONE OF
THE INVESTORS...

I GET A CHECK?
YOU GET A CHECK.

WOW! THAT'S...

$75,000?

YES, IT IS.
I GET $75,000 FOR
BEING BORN?

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
A PLEASANT SURPRISE.

THIS IS $75,000.
$75--

DO YOU HAVE A PEN?

WHY, YES, I DO.

$75,000, $75,000.

OH, MY GOD.

THAT'S, LIKE, 150 PAIRS
OF JIMMY CHOOS.

WHAT ARE JIMMY CHOOS?
SHOES.

150 PAIRS? THAT'S IT?

DAD, THEY'RE JIMMY CHOOS.

FOR $75,000, YOU SHOULD
BE ABLE TO BUY

AT LEAST 300 OR 400 PAIRS
OF SHOES.

NOT JIMMY CHOOS.
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SPEND
$75,000 ON JIMMY CHOOS

WHEN YOU COULD BUY 400 PAIRS
OF LESS PRESTIGIOUS --

BUT I AM SURE --
EQUALLY STYLISH SHOES.

YOU WILL SHOP AROUND FIRST.
IS THAT CLEAR?

YES, SIR.
ALRIGHT, THEN
IT'S SETTLED.

LISTEN, DAD, THIS MONEY
ISN'T, UH...

IT ISN'T SOME KIND OF
GIFT, IS IT?

GIFT?
LIKE A BIRTHDAY GIFT.

BECAUSE IF IT IS, IT'S TOO
MUCH, AND I CAN'T.

I MADE THIS INVESTMENT
IN YOUR NAME.

YOU RECEIVED A CHECK.

LEGALLY, I'M OBLIGATED
TO GIVE YOU THAT.

THIS ISN'T CHARITY
OR GENEROSITY.

IT IS THE LAW.

IT'S THE LAW THAT I GET
TO KEEP $75,000.

ENJOY THE SHOES.

WE COULD BUY A BOAT.

WE COULD, BUT WHY?

BECAUSE RICH PEOPLE ALWAYS
HAVE A BOAT.

WE COULD PARK IT
IN THE FRONT YARD.

YEAH, LIKE WHITE-TRASH
RICH PEOPLE.

GOD, THIS IS AMAZING.
NO MORE CLIPPING COUPONS.

NO MORE PICKING LOOSE CHANGE
UP OFF THE GROUND,

NO MORE DRIVING AROUND LOOKING
FOR CHEAP GAS.

WHICH TOTALLY DEFEATS
THE PURPOSE,

SINCE YOU WIND UP USING MORE GAS
LOOKING FOR THE CHEAP GAS.

$75,000.

I FEEL SO RICH...AND SUDDENLY IN
COMPLETE AGREEMENT

WITH EVERYTHING BUSH HAS
TO SAY.

I'LL GET IT.

NO!
MORE SECRET BIRTHDAY CALLS.

NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU.
IT COULD BE JESS.

IT'S ABOUT ME.

IT COULD BE LANE.
IT'S ABOUT ME.

IT COULD BE PARIS.
IT COULD BE MADELINE.

IT COULD BE A MYRIAD OF
OTHER PEOPLE

WANTING ONLY TO TALK TO
ME ABOUT ME.

IT'S ABOUT ME.

HELLO?
RORY, WE GOT
A BIG PROBLEMO.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, PETE?

WE DID A TRIAL RUN
OF THE PIZZA.

JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT THERE

FOR THE BIG DAY, YOU KNOW?

SO WE MADE A TRIAL PIZZA,

AND KIRK BUILT A PIZZA RACK
ON TOP OF HIS CAR.

YOU WITH ME?
LIKE A BAD HABIT.

SO AS KIRK'S PUTTING
THE PIZZA ON THE RACK,

THE THING COLLAPSES,
THE PIZZA SLIPS.

LONG STORY SHORT -- KIRK HAS GOT
SOME SEVERE CHEESE BURNS.

OH, MY GOD.
IS HE ALRIGHT?

OH!
WHO KNOWS?

THE POINT IS I THINK THE PIZZA
NEEDS TO BE CHEESELESS

AND POSSIBLY SAUCELESS.

THE THING'S A HAZARD, BABE.

DID IT OCCUR TO YOU THAT THE
PROBLEM MAY NOT BE THE PIZZA.

IT MAY BE KIRK.
NO.

WELL, IT SHOULD HAVE.

THE PIZZA HAS TO HAVE
CHEESE AND SAUCE.

OTHERWISE, IT'S NOT A PIZZA.
IT'S BREAD.

IF YOU'RE GONNA INSIST ON
THE CHEESE AND THE SAUCE,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PROVIDE
THE TRANSPORTATION YOURSELF.

FINE, PETE.
I WILL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

ROGER, WILCO, SENORITA.

WHO WAS IT?

ASTRID FROM SCHOOL.

SHE'S LEAVING FOR EUROPE
FOR A WEEK,

AND SHE WANTS ME TO TAKE NOTES
AND E-MAIL HER EVERYTHING.

IT WAS ABOUT ME.

HEY.
HEY, YOU'RE HOME LATE.

TRAFFIC.

YOU HUNGRY?
I'M MEETING RORY.

WANT ME TO MAKE YOU
SOME SANDWICHES?

SO WE CAN BROWN-BAG IT
ON OUR DATE? I DON'T THINK SO.

HOW WAS WORK?

THE CLEANED-UP VERSION OF
"THE EMINEM SHOW"

SEEMS TO BE
SELLING PRETTY WELL,

SO THE WORLD IS BASICALLY
COMING TO AN END.

SO, LISTEN, I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.

TALK.

COULD YOU STOP GROOMING FOR
JUST A SECOND, PLEASE?

I'M ALREADY LATE.

I WAS DOING SOME THINKING
ABOUT YOUR SITUATION.

MY SITUATION?

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE WORKING HERE,
YOU'RE WORKING AT WAL-MART,

IT JUST SEEMS LIKE A LOT.

YOU EVER WORRY THAT IF A BIRD
FLIES INTO YOUR HEAD,

IT MIGHT
NEVER GET OUT AGAIN?

I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE I COULD
MAKE THINGS A LITTLE EASIER.

HOW?

WELL, I COULD, UH, GIVE YOU
A RAISE AT THE DINER.

AND MAYBE HELP OUT

WITH SOME OF THE, YOU KNOW,
BIGGER MONEY BURDENS,

LIKE YOUR CAR INSURANCE.

WHY WOULD YOU WANT
TO DO THAT?

SO YOU CAN QUIT YOUR JOB
AT WAL-MART.
NO WAY.

BUT YOU'D STILL BE MAKING
MONEY, AND THIS WAY,

YOU GET TO SPEND MORE TIME
ON RORY...AND SCHOOL.

I'M FINE.

JESS, COME ON.
TAKE THE DEAL.

I HAVE TO CHANGE.

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO SCHOOL.

I SAW YOU GET IN YOUR CAR
AND DRIVE OFF.

YOU'RE SPYING ON ME?
YOU LIED TO ME.

ONCE IN A WHILE, I TAKE
AN EXTRA SHIFT.

I GO ENOUGH.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

IT'S PUBLIC SCHOOL.

MY HISTORY TEACHER IS ALSO
THE FOOTBALL COACH.

JESS, WE HAD A DEAL.
YOU GO TO SCHOOL, YOU GRADUATE.

I KNOW. RELAX.

I GOT IT ALL UNDER CONTROL.

I HAVE TO CHANGE.

JESS!

THAT'S RIGHT.
BREAKFAST IS INCLUDED.

THEN AT 5:00, WE INVITE ALL
THE GUESTS TO THE LOBBY

FOR COMPLIMENTARY WINE AND
CHEESE AND MINGLING.

YES, IT IS KIND OF LIKE
A B & B.

OKAY, GREAT.
WE'LL SEE YOU AND SWEETIE THEN.

BYE.

SO, AS YOU KNOW, WE HAVE TO GET
THIS PLACE UP AND RUNNING

AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE FOR AS
LITTLE MONEY AS POSSIBLE.

SO LAST NIGHT I PULLED OUT
THE OLD "TIME-LIFE" SERIES,

AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THERE'S SOME
PRETTY TERRIFIC IDEAS IN HERE.

FOR EXAMPLE, WE CAN PUTTY UP
THE CRACKS IN THE DRYWALL

AND THEN GIVE THE LOWER PART OF
THE WALL A GOOD COAT OF PAINT.

THEN WE CAN TAKE A STRIP OF
WALLPAPER,

PUT IT AROUND THE TOP, THUS
CREATING SORT OF A BORDER,
IF YOU WILL.

I GATHERED UP ALL THE BROKEN
CHINA FROM THE DINING ROOM,

BECAUSE I READ HERE IN MARTHA

THAT CHIPPED TEA CUPS MAKE GREAT
VOTIVE HOLDERS.

AND WE ALL KNOW WHEN IN DOUBT,

IT'S CANDLES, CANDLES,
CANDLES, RIGHT?

SO I CLEANED THEM UP, FILLED
THEM WITH TEA LIGHTS,

AND I THINK THEY LOOK TERRIFIC.

OH, THE PIECES THAT WERE TOO FAR
GONE TO SAVE --

I JUST SMASHED THEM UP

AND USED THE PIECES
TO MAKE THIS NICE PICTURE FRAME.

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, TOBIN,
REALLY.

UH, LORELAI, I HAVE A LITTLE
SOMETHING FOR YOU.

FOR ME?

YES. I WASN'T SURE IT WOULD
GET HERE IN TIME

SINCE I ORDERED IT
FROM MADRID,

BUT THANK GOD IT MADE IT.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

YOU BOUGHT ME A PRESENT?
YES.

YOU'VE NEVER BOUGHT
ME A PRESENT.
I HAVE, TOO.

NOT ONCE IN FIVE YEARS.

JUST OPEN UP THE BAG, PLEASE.

MICHEL, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

YES, WELL, I WANTED IT TO BE
SPECIAL, YOU KNOW,

NOT JUST SOME KNICKKNACK YOU
COULD PICK UP

AT A SUPERMARKET OR A CAR WASH.

WELL, IT'S GREAT.
I LOVE IT.

I MUST SAY, I FEEL
VERY SPOILED --

BEAUTIFUL DAYBOOK,
CAPPUCCINO CANDLE.

OH, THAT REMINDS ME.
I GOT YOU SOMETHING ELSE.

TOBIN, YOU ALREADY
GAVE ME A GIFT.

THAT WAS A PREGIFT.

WHY DON'T YOU SCOOCH JUST
A LITTLE BIT FOR ME?

TOBIN, THIS IS TOO MUCH.

YES, IT IS, BUT I SAW IT, AND IT
JUST SCREAMED "LORELAI."

OKAY, WELL...
[ GIGGLES ]

GOD, THIS IS EXCITING.
I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY.

I HOPE IT FITS.

FITS?

TOBIN, THIS IS AMAZING.

THAT IS THE JACKET THAT
JOE STRUMMER WORE

DURING THE 1979
PEARL HARBOR TOUR.

NO!
YES.

WHO IS JOE STRUMMER?

TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING.
YOU DID NOT GET ME THIS.

IS HE A HELL'S ANGEL MAN?

JOE STRUMMER IS FROM
THE CLASH.

THE CLASH IS A BAND.

AND A BAND IS --
I KNOW WHAT A BAND IS.

AND RORY AND LANE HAVE BEEN
IN MOURNING FOR MONTHS,
AND NOW I HAVE HIS JACKET.

THIS IS BY FAR THE COOLEST THING
I HAVE EVER GOTTEN.

GOD! OH, SMELL IT.
IT SMELLS LIKE JOE.

WELL, THIS IS WONDERFUL --
TO SMELL LIKE A DEAD GUY.

YOU'LL HAVE TO BEAT THEM OFF
WITH A STICK.

AND THERE'S A LETTER OF
AUTHENTICITY IN THE BAG

AND A PICTURE OF JOE
WEARING THE JACKET,

AND ALSO, THEY THREW IN A BERET
JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT.

TOBIN, YOU ARE GETTING
A HUG.

WELL, I'D FIGHT IT, BUT WHAT'S
THE POINT, RIGHT?

I HAVE TO RUN AN ERRAND.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

JUST BE HERE
WHEN I GET BACK.

NICOLE, YOU'RE --
I AM NOT BEING STUBBORN.

YOU DIDN'T LET ME GET
THE "STUBBORN" OUT.

LUKE, WOULD YOU LIKE
A BLINI?

WHEN YOU SIGN UP TO BECOME
A SURROGATE MOTHER,

YOU ENTER INTO A BUSINESS
AGREEMENT,

AND THE RULES OF BUSINESS
SHOULD APPLY.

YOU AS A LAWYER
SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT.

AS A LAWYER, I DO
UNDERSTAND THAT.

AS A HUMAN BEING, I ALSO
UNDERSTAND

THAT WHEN A WOMAN'S ALONE AND
IN NEED OF MONEY

SHE CAN DO THINGS THAT SHE'LL
LATER REGRET.

I COULD GET YOU
SOME CHEESE.

YOU CANNOT FORCE A MOTHER
TO GIVE UP HER CHILD.

IF SHE SIGNED A PAPER SAYING,
"ON APRIL THE 12th,

I AM GIVING BIRTH, AND WHATEVER
COMES OUT, I'M HANDING TO YOU,"

AND YOU PAY HER MONEY
AND HER MEDICAL EXPENSES --

THEY PICK A SUBJECT, AND THEY
ARGUE UNTIL DINNER.

THEN THEY CALL A TRUCE, AND THEY
PICK IT BACK UP FOR DESSERT.

ENOUGH. I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE
WITH YOU ANYMORE.

WHAT CAN I DO WITH
HER, LUKE?

WELL, UH, PROBABLY NOT MUCH.

SO, LUKE, I FEEL LIKE
WE'VE BEEN IGNORING YOU.

NICOLE TOLD US YOU'VE
NEVER BEEN MARRIED.

OR WE COULD TALK ABOUT HOW HE
OWNS HIS OWN DINER.

YOU JUST SIT THERE AND PRETEND
TO BE ASHAMED OF US.

UH, NO, I HAVE
NEVER BEEN MARRIED.

BUT SOMEDAY MAYBE, RIGHT?

MARRIAGE, CHILDREN?

SHE MEANS EVENTUALLY AND WITH
THE WOMAN OF YOUR CHOICE.

THEY WILL NOT BE INVOLVED
IN THE PICKING.

BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING MORE
WONDERFUL THAN MARRIAGE.

THE OTHERS ESCAPED OUT
THE BATHROOM WINDOW.

WELL, THERE'S NOTHING MORE
REWARDING THAN CHILDREN.

YOU JUST CAN'T IMAGINE
UNTIL YOU'VE BEEN THERE.

AND THIS ONE HERE MADE
EVERYTHING IN LIFE WORTH IT.

THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE IS LIKE

THE MOST FABULOUS ROLLER-COASTER
RIDE YOU CAN IMAGINE.

FROM THE TIME THEY'RE BORN TO
THAT FIRST STEP, THE FIRST WORD,

THE FIRST TIME THEY HUG YOU,

THE FIRST TIME THEY PICK OUT
THEIR OWN OUTFITS.

THE FIRST TIME THEY TELL YOU
THEY'RE GOING TO SCHOOL,

AND THEY GET IN THEIR CAR AND
DRIVE TO WAL-MART.

THEY THINK YOU'RE JUST A MORON,
AND THEY DON'T THINK

THAT MAYBE YOU KNOW
THAT THEY'RE LYING TO YOUR FACE

AND THAT YOU'RE REALLY MAD
BECAUSE YOU GUYS HAD AGREEMENT.

OH, DEAR.
THAT AGREEMENT WAS CLEAR,
VERY CLEAR.

AND THEY KNOW THAT BREAKING
THAT AGREEMENT

IS A VIOLATION OF EVERYTHING
YOU HAD TALKED ABOUT.

OH, YEAH, THAT IS CUTE.
THAT'S JUST DARLING.

I CAN'T WAIT TO EXPERIENCE
THAT AGAIN.

I'M SORRY.
DID SOMEONE MENTION CHEESE?

HEY, GUYS.

RORY, JUST THE LADY WE'RE
LOOKING FOR, WE HAVE A PLAN.

GOOD, 'CAUSE I'VE GOT
A CHECK.

WE'VE SOLVED THE PROBLEM OF
TRANSPORTING THE BIG PIZZA.

I WAS OF LITTLE HELP SINCE I'M
CURRENTLY IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN.

INSTEAD OF THIS WHOLE ONE HUGE
PIZZA CONCEPT,

WE'RE GONNA DO 100 LITTLE PIZZAS
ALL SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER.

WHAT?
LIKE A PIZZA DOILY.

I DON'T WANT A PIZZA DOILY.

MORE OF A COLLAGE.

I DON'T WANT A PIZZA
COLLAGE EITHER.

HOW 'BOUT WE PUT
THE PIZZAS TOGETHER

AND THEN PUT PEPPERONIS OVER
THE OPEN SPOTS?

SO IT LOOKS LIKE
ONE BIG PIZZA. TRICKY.

OR WE COULD PUT CHEESE
OVER THE HOLES.

DON'T SAY THE "C" WORD.

CHEESE MIGHT FALL
THROUGH THE HOLES.

WE CAN USE SLICES.
THAT'LL WORK.

THAT WILL NOT WORK.

NOW, YOU THREE LISTEN
TO ME.

WE AGREED THAT THIS WAS GOING TO
BE THE WORLD'S LARGEST PIZZA.

NOW, I REALIZE IT CAN BE
THE WORLD'S LARGEST PIZZA

BECAUSE THAT PIZZA WAS INSANE,

BUT IT IS STILL GOING TO BE
CRAZY LARGE.

BUT WE --
NO BUTS!

THAT WAS THE CONCEPT.
GET BACK TO THE CONCEPT.

THIS IS NOT "GANGS OF NEW YORK"
NOW WITH CAMERON DIAZ.

THIS IS "GANGS OF NEW YORK" 20
YEARS AGO WITH MERYL STREEP.

COME BACK, REFOCUS.
REMEMBER THE GOAL.

AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?

CAMERON DIAZ IS HOT.

NOT THE POINT, JOE.

OKAY. JEEZ.

NOW, TONIGHT IS MY MOTHER'S
BIRTHDAY PARTY,

AND THE WHOLE TOWN IS GOING
TO BE THERE,

AND THEY ARE EXPECTING MUSIC,
FAVORS, AND REALLY LARGE PIZZA,

AND THEY WILL NOT BE
DISAPPOINTED.

I DON'T CARE HOW YOU DO IT,
JUST DO IT!

SOMEHOW I CAN'T PICTURE
MERYL STREEP

WITH LEONARDO DICAPRIO.

I REALLY AM SORRY, NICOLE.

YOUR PARENTS MUST THINK
I'M A LUNATIC.

I DON'T THINK "LUNATIC" WAS
ONE OF THE WORDS THEY USED.

BUT THEY HAVE A VERY
EXTENSIVE VOCABULARY.

IT'S THE FIRST TIME I MEET
THEM, AND I JUST --

JESS WAS DRIVING ME
CRAZY, AND --

I TOLD THEM THIS.

WHEN THEY COME BACK INTO TOWN,
I WILL DO BETTER.

I'M GOING TO SCHOOL.

THEY MAY NOT BE BACK IN TOWN
FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.

WHENEVER.
WHENEVER.

SO I CAN MAKE ANOTHER LUNCH
DATE WITH MY PARENTS
SEVERAL MONTHS AWAY?

SURE, MAKE IT.

TELL 'EM I'VE GOTTEN
SOME MEDICATION.

I'M MUCH BETTER NOW.
I'LL DO THAT.

GET OFF THE PHONE. I NEED THE
PHONE. GET OFF THE PHONE.

SOMEONE STOLE MY CAR.

NICOLE, I'M GONNA HAVE TO
CALL YOU BACK.

I PARKED IT RIGHT AROUND
THE CORNER, AND NOW IT'S GONE.

WHY'D YOU PARK IT
AROUND THE CORNER?

BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE
I PARKED IT.

HOW CAN THE POLICE DEPARTMENT
HAVE AN ANSWERING MACHINE?

LOOK, LET'S JUST CALM DOWN.

WHO WOULD STEAL THAT CAR?
IT HARDLY RAN.

THESE CHOP SHOPS, THEY CAN MAKE
A BUCK OUT OF ANYTHING.

I AM GONNA KILL
WHOEVER DID THIS.

JUST GO ON OVER TO SCHOOL.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LATE FOR
YOUR FIRST CLASS, RIGHT?

YOU WERE PLANNING ON
GOING TO SCHOOL, RIGHT?

WELL, THEN JUST WALK ON
OVER TO SCHOOL,

AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF
THE REST.

HAVE A GOOD DAY.
STUDY HARD.

DON'T WORRY.
JUST LEAVE THE CAR TO ME.

* HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR LORELAI *

* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU *

YOU CAN TAKE THE CAKE INTO
THE KITCHEN NOW, TERESA.

AREN'T I SUPPOSED
TO BLOW THEM OUT?
TERESA CAN DO THAT.

IT'S TRADITION FOR THE PERSON
WHOSE NAME IS ON THE CAKE
TO DO THE BLOWING.

I THOUGHT ONLY CHILDREN
LIKE TO DO THAT.

SHALL WE BRING IT BACK OUT
AND RELIGHT IT?
NO.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE
A WISH AND BLOW OUT THE TAPERS?
WHY AM I BEING MOCKED?

BECAUSE THAT'S
THE GILMORE WAY.

LET'S MOVE INTO THE LIVING ROOM
FOR OUR DESSERT, SHALL WE?

LET'S SHALL.

How are we doing for time?
We've got time for cake.

I don't want to miss the fancy
party you're throwing me.

WHAT ARE THE TWO OF YOU
WHISPERING ABOUT?
NOTHING.

CHAMPAGNE?

TRYING TO GET ME DRUNK
SO I FORGET

THAT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME
BLOW OUT MY OWN CANDLES?

IS THIS GOING TO BE ANOTHER
ONE OF THOSE STORIES

LIKE THE BUNNY STORY?

HIS NAME WAS MURRAY, MOM.

OH, EMILY, YOU HAD
TO BRING THAT UP.

HOW COULD YOU THINK I WOULDN'T
NOTICE YOU GAVE AWAY MY RABBIT?

BECAUSE YOU WERE 4 AND
TERRIFIED OF THE THING.

I WAS NOT TERRIFIED.
I SIMPLY RESPECTED HIS SPACE.

YOU SLEPT IN THE MAGE ROOM
FOR A WEEK.

I WONDER WHERE MURRAY
IS NOW.

IN A SHOEBOX SOMEWHERE,
I ASSUME.

VERY NICE.
AND ON MY BIRTHDAY.

ONCE AGAIN, A TOAST TO LORELAI
ON HER 36th BIRTHDAY.

35th.

REALLY?

YOU'RE DOING THE MATH?

SORRY. TO LORELAI ON HER
35th BIRTHDAY.

HEAR, HEAR.

THANK YOU FOR THE TOAST.
THANK YOU FOR THE DINNER.

AND IN THE SPIRIT OF
THE EVENING,

MOM, I HAVE
SOMETHING FOR YOU.

FOR ME?
IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY.

I KNOW, BUT HERE.

IT'S FROM MURRAY.

IT'S TAKEN HIM THIS LONG
TO WRITE IT,

'CAUSE OF THE HURT AND PAIN
AND 'CAUSE HE HAS PAWS.

WHAT IS THIS?
THAT IS WHAT I OWE YOU.

WHAT YOU OWE ME?
FOR RORY'S SCHOOL.

I PROMISED YOU I'D PAY YOU BACK,
AND NOW I HAVE, EVERY CENT.

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR
HELPING US OUT.

THERE'S NO WAY RORY WOULD BE
GOING TO YALE
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

OKAY, SO --

YOU MUST BE VERY RELIEVED.

YOUR DEBT IS PAID.
YOU OWE US NOTHING.

YOU DON'T NEED US ANYMORE.

UM, I DIDN'T SAY --

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEAL
WITH US.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME OVER
FOR FRIDAY-NIGHT DINNERS.

THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT.
OH, NO?

NO, I OWED YOU MONEY,
AND I PAID YOU BACK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MAD
THAT I'M PAYING YOU BACK.

I JUST THINK IT'S EXTREMELY
UNKIND OF YOU

TO USE THIS OCCASION
TO INFORM ME

YOU WON'T BE COMING OVER
ANYMORE.

I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
THIS SAID THAT.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING --

WOULDN'T YOU RATHER WE CAME OVER
HERE BECAUSE WE WANTED TO,

NOT BECAUSE OF SOME THREAT
YOU'RE HOLDING OVER OUR HEADS?

OH, AND YOU WOULD COME
HERE VOLUNTARILY?

I ALWAYS SAID I WOULD
PAY YOU BACK.
THIS IS NOT A SURPRISE.

IT CERTAINLY ISN'T.

I WAS TRYING TO DO
A GOOD THING HERE.

WHEN DAD GAVE ME THE MONEY,
ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS --

WHEN DAD GAVE YOU THE MONEY?
WHEN DAD GAVE HER THE MONEY?

YOU GAVE HER THIS?

IT WAS HER MONEY.

IT WAS FROM THAT
INVESTMENT, MOM.

I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D
STAY OUT OF THIS.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL YOUR
MOTHER ABOUT THAT MONEY.

AT LUNCH.

DAD, I SWEAR YOU DIDN'T TELL
ME NOT TO TELL MOM.

WHY DO YOU THINK
I MET YOU IN THE DAY
AT A RESTAURANT, LORELAI?

YOU KEPT THIS FROM ME,
RICHARD?

I KNEW YOU WOULD BE UPSET.

I HAD TO GIVE IT TO HER.
I WAS LEGALLY OBLIGATED.

YOU'RE ALSO LEGALLY OBLIGATED
TO YOUR WIFE.

MOM.
DON'T YOU TALK TO ME.

YOU'RE OVERREACTING.

DON'T YOU TALK TO ME EITHER.
DON'T BE MAD AT DAD.

STAY OUT OF THIS.

PLEASE, JUST BECAUSE I
GAVE YOU THIS MONEY

DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE NEVER GONNA
COME OVER HERE AGAIN.

WE WILL COME OVER.

MAYBE NOT EVERY WEEK,
BUT THERE WILL BE THE
OCCASIONAL FRIDAY-NIGHT DINNERS.

NO, THERE WON'T.

I DON'T NEED ANYBODY DOING
ME ANY FAVORS.

YOU ARE RELEASED FROM YOUR
OBLIGATION, LORELAI.

HAVE A NICE BIRTHDAY.
HAVE A NICE LIFE.

I'M GOING TO BED.

DAD...
NOT NOW.

YOU'RE QUIET.

I KNOW THEY WERE UPSET, HON, BUT
TRUST ME, THEY'LL CALM DOWN.

WHY DID YOU DO THAT,

JUST GIVING THEM THAT CHECK
LIKE THAT?

RORY, I BORROWED
THAT MONEY.

BUT YOU HAD TO HAVE KNOWN THAT
THEY'D GET UPSET.

YOU HAD TO KNOW THAT GRANDMA
WOULD TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO --
NOT PAY THEM BACK?

MAYBE. THEY DIDN'T WANT
THE MONEY BACK.

RORY, IT'S NOT THE POINT.

THEY WERE THROWING YOU
A PARTY, MOM.

DID I DANCE AROUND SAYING,
"NA-NA-NA-NA-NA"

WHEN I GAVE HER THE CHECK?

DID I NOT GENUINELY THANK HER
FOR EVERYTHING?

DID I NOT CREDIT YOUR
GETTING INTO YALE

WITH THEM GIVING US
THAT MONEY?

YES, BUT --
NO BUTS.

YOU'RE NOT AWARE
OF HOW HARD IT'S FOR ME
THESE PAST THREE YEARS

TO BE INDEBTED TO MY PARENTS.

I DECIDED A LONG TIME AGO

THAT I WAS GONNA LIVE MY LIFE
WITHOUT THEIR HELP.

I WENT TO THEM AND TOOK THEIR
MONEY, AND I'M NOT SORRY I DID.

BUT I DON'T NEED THEIR
HELP ANYMORE.

FINE, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO JUST
THROW IT IN THEIR FACES.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PAY
BACK A LOAN.

I HAVE POLONIUS AND THE ENTIRE
BANKING SYSTEM ON MY SIDE.

I JUST THINK YOU COULD HAVE
DONE IT DIFFERENTLY.

HOW?
I DON'T KNOW.

TAKE A SHOT.
I DON'T KNOW.

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY
PARENTS IS VERY DIFFERENT

FROM YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH THEM.

YOU ONLY KNOW THE WARM AND
FUZZY RICHARD AND EMILY,

BECAUSE THEY'RE YOUR
GRANDPARENTS AND THEY LOVE YOU,

BUT I HAVE A DIFFERENT
HISTORY WITH THEM,

AND IT WAS NOT ALL WARM, AND
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT ALL FUZZY.

SO DO NOT JUDGE ME
FOR REPAYING A LOAN

THAT I ALWAYS INTENDED
TO REPAY,

THAT I TOLD THEM FROM
THE BEGINNING I WOULD REPAY,

THAT I HAD TO REPAY.

I WILL NOT LET THEM MAKE ME FEEL
GUILTY FOR DOING THAT,

AND I WILL NOT LET YOU MAKE ME
FEEL GUILTY EITHER.

I'M SORRY.
THAT'S OKAY.

[ GASPS ]

GOOD, GOOD.

OKAY, LEFT.

OH, MY GOD.
WHAT IS THAT?

THE WORLD'S LARGEST
PIZZA...ALMOST.

THAT IS AMAZING.

YOU LIKE IT?

I LOVE IT.

THANK YOU, HONEY.

HEY, WHAT HAPPENED
TO KIRK?