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1
00:00:03,804 --> 00:00:05,539
OKAY, LET'S SEE...
2
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:08,142
LOOKS LIKE HARVARD DEFINITELY
HAS THE SMALLEST CLASS SIZES.
3
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:11,412
OKAY, WE'VE GOT OUR FIRST ENTRY
HERE. IT'S A PRO FOR HARVARD.
4
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,247
THOSE ARE NOT THE FINAL,
OFFICIAL PRO/CON LISTS.
5
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:16,284
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM?
THE LINES ARE CROOKED.
THE PRINTING'S SLOPPY.
6
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,319
HARVARD, PRINCETON, YALE
CANNOT SEE THEM LIKE THAT.
7
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:20,288
THEY'RE NOT GONNA SEE
OUR PRO/CON LISTS.
8
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:24,758
WHAT IF THEY SUBPOENA THEM?
THEN I'LL ROLL THEM UP
IN A BALL AND EAT THEM.
9
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:26,227
OOH, A BIG PRO FOR YALE --
10
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:28,662
THEY HAVE 1,100 MEMBERS
OF THE MAINTENANCE STAFF --
11
00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:29,930
CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN.
12
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,166
ALL THESE PLACES PROBABLY
HAVE THE SAME NUMBER.
13
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,402
YALE MUST BE CROWING
ABOUT IT FOR SOME REASON.
14
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:36,137
PRINCETON
MIGHT ONLY HAVE TWO.
TWO?
15
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:39,240
YEAH.
YOU THINK THERE ARE TWO GUYS
CLEANING ALL OF PRINCETON?
16
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,008
WRITE "PRINCETON'S STINKING
FILTHY" IN BIG LETTERS.
17
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,844
I'M PRETENDING TO WRITE
IT AS WE SPEAK.
GOOD MORNING, LADIES.
18
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:47,715
MAY I INTEREST YOU IN A SHIRT?
KIRK, ARE YOU SELLING
YOUR LAUNDRY AGAIN?
19
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,484
NO, THESE ARE PART OF
MY LATEST MONEYMAKING ENDEAVOR.
20
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:51,985
I'M GONNA PRINT
DAILY T-SHIRTS
21
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,554
FEATURING A HUMOROUS
TOPICAL HEADLINE
22
00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,723
OF SOMETHING I WITNESS
AROUND TOWN.
NEAT.
23
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,459
IT'S BASED ON SOMETHING
A MAN WAS DOING IN PORTLAND.
24
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,528
WHAT WAS HE DOING?
HE WAS PRINTING
DAILY T-SHIRTS
25
00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:03,764
FEATURING A HUMOROUS TOPICAL
HEADLINE OF SOMETHING
HE WITNESSED AROUND TOWN.
26
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,733
IS THAT TODAY'S?
SURE IS.
27
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,035
"BABETTE ATE OATMEAL."
28
00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,203
HUH.
YEAH.
29
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,871
I'M KEEPING IT REAL.
IT'S GOOD.
30
00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:14,275
PAINTS A PICTURE.
I CAN JUST SEE HER
EATING OATMEAL.
31
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,344
THEY'RE $14.95.
HOW MANY DO YOU WANT?
32
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:19,213
NO SOLICITORS, KIRK.
HOW ABOUT IF I GIVE YOU A CUT?
33
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,249
HOW ABOUT I TOSS
THE SHIRTS OUT FIRST
34
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:24,885
SO YOU CAN HAVE SOMETHING
TO LAND ON?
GOT IT.
35
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:26,254
WHAT'S WITH THE LISTS?
36
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,357
YOU READY? MY RORY,
OUR RORY, STARS HOLLOW'S RORY,
37
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,192
GOT INTO HARVARD,
PRINCETON, AND YALE.
38
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,194
WOW.
[ Chuckling ] WOW.
39
00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:34,795
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
40
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,864
I FEEL LIKE I...
41
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,766
[ CHUCKLES ]
42
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:39,800
OH.
OH.
43
00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,001
OKAY.
44
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,203
[ LAUGHS ]
45
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:44,004
WELL,
I'M NOT GOOD AT HUGGING.
46
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:45,439
OH, I THOUGHT IT WORKED.
47
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,208
THANKS.
MAN, THIS IS BIG, RIGHT?
48
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,477
VERY BIG.
WHAT'S WITH ALL
THE PRO/CON LISTS?
49
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,412
THAT'S HOW WE MAKE OUR IMPORTANT
DECISIONS.
50
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,381
YOU KNOW WHAT
IT'S GONNA BE -- HARVARD.
51
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,216
PROBABLY.
BUT NOT NECESSARILY.
52
00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,050
HARVARD'S ALL YOU'VE
TALKED ABOUT FOR YEARS.
53
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,686
WHO KNEW SHE'D BE WANTED
BY EVERYONE?
54
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,322
WHICH SCHOOL TEACHES HOW TO MAKE
AN IMPORTANT LIFE DECISION
55
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,756
WITHOUT DOING
A STUPID PRO/CON LIST?
56
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,992
WHICHEVER IT IS,
ADD IT TO THE PRO COLUMN.
57
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,228
DON'T MOCK THE SCIENCIFICITY
OF OUR SELECTION PROCESS.
58
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,263
I'VE GOTTA HEAD TO SCHOOL.
WHY GO ANYMORE?
59
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,098
YOU'RE IN COLLEGE.
LET'S GO TRUFFLE HUNTING.
60
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:12,700
MAYBE AFTER I GRADUATE.
ALRIGHT.
61
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,603
BUT IF THE GOOD TRUFFLES
ARE GONE, DON'T BLAME ME.
62
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,338
BYE.
BYE.
63
00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,773
I CAN'T BELIEVE
HOW GREAT THAT IS -- ALL THREE.
64
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,209
THEY HAVE GOOD TASTE.
65
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:25,045
YOU KNOW, JESS ALSO -- WELL,
IT'S SO TINY COMPARED TO THIS,
66
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,780
IT'S GONNA SOUND DUMB.
WHAT? TELL ME.
67
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,650
YOU KNOW HOW JESS
WORKS AT WAL-MART?
YES I DO.
68
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:33,721
WELL, IT SEEMS HE WAS ACTUALLY
CHOSEN... EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.
69
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,756
REALLY?!
I KNEW IT WOULD SOUND TINY.
70
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,892
NO, LUKE, THAT'S NOT TINY.
THAT'S REALLY GOOD.
71
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,994
YEAH, I MEAN, THERE'S PROBABLY
HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
72
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,497
WORKING AT THAT BRANCH,
AND THEY SINGLED HIM OUT.
73
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:46,567
YEAH, IT SHOWS HE CAN WORK HARD
AND GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE.
74
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:49,203
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD.
DID YOU TELL HIM YOU'RE PROUD?
75
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,671
HE DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT IT.
76
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,507
I GOT A LETTER ADDRESSED TO
"THE FAMILY OF JESS MARIANO"
77
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,609
INVITING ME TO SOME LITTLE
CEREMONY THEY'RE HAVING.
78
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,646
ARE YOU GOING?
OH, HE'D HATE IT
IF I WAS THERE.
79
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:01,215
SEEING HIM PARTICIPATE IN SOME
CORPORATE CEREMONY LIKE THAT,
80
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,183
BEING CALLED UPSTANDING
AND RESPONSIBLE.
81
00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,152
IT WOULD KILL HIM.
YEAH, I'M GOING.
82
00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:06,854
GOOD BOY.
83
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,628
* IF YOU'RE OUT
ON THE ROAD *
84
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:19,733
* FEELIN' LONELY
AND SO COLD *
85
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,571
* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS CALL MY NAME *
86
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:28,309
* AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN *
87
00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:32,746
* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *
88
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:36,850
* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *
89
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,186
* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *
90
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,822
* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *
91
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,391
* I WILL FOLLOW *
92
00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:45,726
* OH, OH, OH *
93
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:50,664
* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *
94
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:55,202
* ANY, ANYWHERE
THAT YOU TELL ME TO *
95
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,804
* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *
96
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,707
* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *
97
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:04,244
* I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD *
98
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:06,814
HEY, SOOKIE, SOOKIE.
WHERE'S SOOKIE?
99
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:07,881
Sookie: DOWN HERE.
100
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:08,949
DOWN WHERE? MARCO.
101
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,684
POLO.
102
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,687
WHY ARE YOU DOWN THERE?
PAPAYA WON'T EAT,
103
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,957
SO I'M PRETENDING TO EAT FROM
HER BOWL SO SHE'LL COPY ME.
104
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,492
SOOKIE, YOU NAMED THE CAT?
105
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,394
SHE LOOKS LIKE A PAPAYA.
DOESN'T SHE?
106
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,630
BUT IT'S A STRAY. YOU'LL
GET CLOSE TO IT,
107
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,465
IT'LL WONDER OFF,
AND YOU'LL BE SAD.
108
00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:26,967
I'M KEEPING MY DISTANCE.
COME ON, PAPAYA.
109
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,469
LAP. LAP.
110
00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:30,237
ALRIGHT, WE'RE GETTING
YOU UP HERE.
111
00:04:30,304 --> 00:04:31,872
COME ON.
112
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,308
BOY, BEING A CAT
IS HARD ON THE KNEES.
113
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,943
SINCE WHEN ARE YOU
A CAT PERSON?
114
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,012
EVER SINCE I GOT PREGNANT
I'VE BECOME VERY NURTURING --
115
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,213
JACKSON, TOO.
116
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,149
BOTH YOUR BODIES
ARE CHANGING.
117
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:44,084
YESTERDAY --
OH, IT WAS AWFUL.
118
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,954
JACKSON MOVED A TABLE AND JUST
KIND OF NICKED THIS SPIDER.
119
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:50,023
HE DIDN'T SEE THE LITTLE THING
AND CLIPPED ONE OF ITS LEGS.
120
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,860
IT WAS HAVING TROUBLE WALKING.
WE WERE SO UPSET.
121
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,128
JACKSON MADE A NEW LEG
OUT OF A PAPERCLIP
122
00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:58,866
BUT JAMMING THE CLIP INTO
THE SPIDER KILLED IT INSTANTLY.
123
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,901
LITTLE SATCHMO.
YOU NAMED THE SPIDER
"SATCHMO"?
124
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:03,571
AFTER JACKSON'S UNCLE.
HE'LL BE VERY TOUCHED.
125
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,673
[ GASPS ]
MAYBE IF I WORE EARS!
126
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:07,107
WHAT?
127
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:09,410
[ GASPS ] PAPAYA!
128
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,011
LOOK AT MOMMY.
129
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,245
LOOK AT MOMMY.
130
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,947
LOOK AT MOMMY.
131
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,183
I LEFT HER A MESSAGE --
132
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:18,819
OH. IS THIS EVERYONE FROM
THE EDGAR ALLEN POE SOCIETY?
133
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,854
IF YOU MEAN THE
"I SHOULD BE STERILIZED
134
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,556
"SO THAT MY
DISTURBING IDIOSYNCRASIES
135
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,592
AREN'T PASSED ON TO
THE NEXT GENERATION" SOCIETY,
136
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,926
THEN, YES, THAT'S THEM.
137
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,928
HI. WELCOME TO
THE INDEPENDENCE INN.
138
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:30,230
THANK YOU.
WE'RE JIM AND MILLY HATLESTAD.
139
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,165
OKAY.
140
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,502
I'VE GOT YOU RIGHT HERE.
141
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,937
WELL, ONCE AGAIN, WELCOME,
AND LET ME ASSURE YOU
142
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:40,408
THERE ARE NO HUMAN BODY PARTS
BURIED IN THE FLOOR OF YOUR ROOM
143
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,242
TO KEEP YOU AWAKE TONIGHT.
SOUND GOOD?
144
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,144
I GUESS.
145
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,846
ROOM 8.
146
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,016
[ SCOFFS ]
"THE TELL-TALE HEART."
147
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,318
THAT'S A POE STORY.
DIDN'T THEY GET THAT?
148
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,521
THE HATLESTADS
ARE NOT WITH THE POE SOCIETY.
149
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:57,425
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
IF I HAD THOUGHT TO,
I STILL WOULDN'T HAVE.
150
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,560
HI. MY NAME IS LARSON.
I'M CHECKING IN.
151
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:01,028
POE SOCIETY, RIGHT?
152
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,329
THAT'S ME.
GOOD.
153
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,131
WELL, WELCOME TO
THE INDEPENDENCE INN.
154
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,700
THERE WILL BE A COMPLIMENTARY
"CASK OF AMONTILLADO"
155
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,770
ON THE TABLE IN YOUR ROOM. AND
IF YOU'RE EXPECTING YOUR FRIENDS
156
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:12,673
DR. TARR AND PROFESSOR FETHER,
I'LL SEND UP ANOTHER ONE.
157
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,909
YOU SAID YOU WERE
WITH THE POE SOCIETY.
158
00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,846
YEAH, BUT IT'S JUST A HOBBY.
WE'RE NOT TREKKIES.
159
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,681
NO, NO.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO IMPLY --
160
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,250
YOU'RE NOT FREAKS.
NO WAY. HERE. ROOM 6.
161
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,085
THANK YOU.
162
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:28,088
YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOP
TRYING TO CUTE THINGS UP.
163
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,458
I HEAR THAT.
164
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:31,725
HELLO, SIR.
HELLO.
165
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,694
HELLO, EVERYBODY.
166
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,328
HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD DAY.
167
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,164
YOU FOLKS KNOW
WE DO THIS EVERY MONTH,
168
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,734
A LITTLE GET-TOGETHER TO HONOR
OUR NEW EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH,
169
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,571
NOTHING FANCY, JUST A QUICK
"THANKS" AND A "WAY TO GO."
170
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,873
OH, AND THERE'S
200 BUCKS IN IT.
171
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:49,543
I THINK THAT'S HOW WE GOT
OUR HONOREE TO EVEN SHOW UP.
172
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:52,045
YOU KNOW HIM AS A TROUPER,
OUR MR. RELIABLE.
173
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,882
THE FIRST TIME THIS YOUNG MAN
SAT DOWN ON THAT FORKLIFT,
174
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,717
IT WAS LIKE
AN EXTENSION OF HIMSELF.
175
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,552
YEAH, HE'S NOT ONE
FOR SMALL TALK,
176
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,588
BUT THIS BOY'S PRODUCTION
IS OUT OF SIGHT.
177
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,790
IT'S JESS MARIANO, EVERYBODY.
178
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,695
WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SAY ANYTHING, JESS?
NOPE.
179
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,397
WELL, THAT'S OUR JESS.
GIVE HIM ANOTHER HAND, FOLKS.
180
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,766
AND, UH, HAVE A GOOD ONE.
181
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,571
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M SO PROUD OF MY BOY.
182
00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:19,206
STOP IT.
DO YOU HAVE A TISSUE?
183
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:22,042
I THINK I'M GONNA BE EMOTIONAL.
I MEAN IT. STOP...NOW.
184
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:24,478
IT CAME WITH CASH,
WHICH IS WHY I'M HERE.
185
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,680
DON'T FORGET THE PLAQUE.
YOU SHOULD HANG THAT,
186
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:29,316
SHINE A SPOTLIGHT OVER IT.
I GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK.
187
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,653
YEAH, THE FORKLIFT'S GOING,
"WHERE'S THE EXTENSION OF ME?"
188
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,589
HEY. SAW YOU JAWBONING
WITH OUR BOY THERE.
189
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:37,625
I'M BILL BORDEN.
LUKE DANES. I'M JESS' UNCLE.
190
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,259
NICE MEETING YOU.
HE'S DOING GOOD, HUH?
191
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:42,496
WISH I HAD A DOZEN MORE JESSES.
THAT'S GREAT TO HEAR.
192
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,732
HE WORKS LIKE A DOG
ON HIS REGULAR SHIFT,
193
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,167
AND IF SOMEONE CALLS IN SICK --
AND THEY ALWAYS DO --
194
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:50,003
HE'S THERE EVEN IF HE'S
ALREADY DONE 40 HOURS THAT WEEK.
195
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,906
WOW. I AM SO -- 40 HOURS?
HE NEVER WORKS 40 HOURS.
196
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,875
MORE LIKE 45.
GOOD BOY, THAT ONE.
197
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:58,111
WAIT. HE'S GOT SCHOOL, HE WORKS
FOR ME. IT CAN'T BE 40.
198
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,514
I CAN'T SAY
I SIGN EVERY TIME CARD,
199
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,550
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE
IT'S AT LEAST THAT.
200
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,017
MAYBE I'M MISTAKEN.
YEAH, MAYBE.
201
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,854
OH, THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS.
LITTLE KEEPSAKE FOR YOU.
202
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,188
GREAT. THANKS.
203
00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,061
Man: "THEN THIS EBONY BIRD,
204
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:17,097
"BEGUILING MY SAD FANCY
INTO SMILING,
205
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:21,735
"BY THE GRAVE AND STERN DECORUM
OF THE COUNTENANCE IT WORE,
206
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:26,439
'THOUGH THY CREST BE SHORN
AND SHAVEN, THOU,' I SAID,
207
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,775
ART SURE NO CRAVEN..."
208
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,678
I THOUGHT POE WAS DOWNRIGHT
FUNALICIOUS.
209
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,613
[ SIGHS ]
HE WAS A TROUBLED MAN.
210
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:36,584
HE ENJOYED A LITTLE BIT
TOO MUCH OF THE HMM-HMM.
211
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,619
MIME?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT.
212
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,688
OH, MIME --
THAT REMINDS ME.
213
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,990
YALE, BEST DRAMA SCHOOL,
BAR NONE.
214
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,458
PUT THAT IN THE PRO COLUMN.
I'M NOT TAKING DRAMA.
215
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,495
NO, BUT IT MEANS YOU'LL HAVE
THE BEST ON-CAMPUS PRODUCTIONS.
216
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,765
YOU'LL GET TO SEE THE NEXT
MERYL STREEP ALL GOOFY AND 18
217
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:55,135
AND DOING CRAP LIKE,
"NAME AN OCCUPATION."
218
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,169
"PLUMBER!"
219
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,906
"NAME A FARM TOOL NOW."
"TRACTOR!"
220
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,742
"HEY, I'M A TRACTOR
DOING...PLUMBING."
221
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,177
THAT'S WHAT THEY DO
AT THE YALE DRAMA SCHOOL?
222
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,312
SO I'VE HEARD.
223
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,346
THAT'S WEIRD.
224
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,181
WHAT?
OVER THERE.
225
00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,818
A SECOND POE?
IT'S LIKE A POE STORY IN ITSELF.
226
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,654
"THE CASE OF THE TWO POES."
"THE MESSRS POE AND POE."
227
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,589
OH, THAT'S GOOD.
228
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,725
OH, HEY, THERE'S DEAN.
HEY, IS THAT, UH...
229
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,660
THAT'S LINDSAY.
HMM.
230
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,032
SHE'S READY TO
GO TO THE GHETTO ON YOU.
231
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,167
WELL, I DON'T HAVE
A PROBLEM WITH HER.
232
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,503
SHE'S REALLY NICE.
AND, YOU KNOW, ONCE --
233
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,573
...SHE BOUGHT YOU A MAGNET
SHAPED LIKE MARK TWAIN'S HEAD?
234
00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,309
YES, I'VE HEARD
THE ANECDOTE.
SORRY.
235
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:37,845
I THINK SHE SHOULD JUST MELLOW.
236
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,113
I MEAN, YOU'VE BOTH MOVED ON.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
237
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:44,484
"BUT THE RAVEN, SITTING LONELY
ON THE PLACID BUST,
238
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,453
SPOKE ONLY THAT ONE WORD..."
239
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:49,522
I DON'T REMEMBER "THE RAVEN"
BEING THIS LONG.
IT COULD'VE USED EDITING.
240
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,559
DID YOU PUT DRAMA SCHOOL
ON THE YALE PRO LIST?
NOPE.
241
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,195
DO IT OR WE'LL FORGET.
I DON'T HAVE A PEN.
242
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,630
OH, JEEZ.
243
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,398
HEY, PSST!
244
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,300
HI, NICOLE.
HI, LORELAI.
245
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:01,835
HOW LONG IS THIS THING?
246
00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,437
GOT AT LEAST FIVE
"NEVERMORES" TO GO.
OH, JEEZ.
247
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,906
DO YOU GOT A PEN?
NO.
248
00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:08,008
COUGH IT UP.
I DON'T HAVE A PEN.
249
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:10,243
WHERE'S THE PEN
YOU TAKE ORDERS WITH?
250
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,513
I WASN'T ANTICIPATING TAKING
ORDERS AT THE POE READING.
251
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,548
THERE GOES
YOUR BOY SCOUT BADGE.
252
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,050
UH, MOM?
253
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,622
"TAKE THY BEAK FROM OUT
MY HEART AND TAKE THY..."
254
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:23,857
BUSTED BY A POE.
255
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,693
HOPE HE DOESN'T
PUT A CURSE ON US.
256
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:28,996
OR COMPLAIN
WHEN HE GOES BACK TO BEING
FRED LARSON, TAMPA DENTIST.
257
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:31,231
Nicole: HEY, LORELAI?
HM? OH.
258
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,566
YOU'RE AN ANGEL. THANKS.
I'LL NEED IT BACK.
259
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,836
YEAH, SURE.
260
00:10:35,903 --> 00:10:38,605
LOOKS LIKE NICOLE'S GOT A LITTLE
LINDSAY ATTITUDE GOING.
261
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,273
NOT REALLY. REALLY?
262
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:44,311
HEY, HOW MANY "NEVERMORES"
DO YOU THINK HE'S GOT TO GO?
263
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,747
WE'RE GUESSING FOUR.
264
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:50,050
POOR EDGAR ALLEN POE.
HE SUFFERED SO MUCH.
265
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:52,585
AND NOW WE GOTTA SUFFER
ALONG WITH HIM.
266
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,321
"YALE DRAMA" -- GOT IT.
267
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:57,324
RORY, WHY DO YOU WASTE YOUR TIME
ON THOSE PRO/CON LISTS?
268
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,927
IT'S GOING TO BE HARVARD.
WE ALL KNOW IT.
269
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,962
I KNOW.
IF THE LIST SAYS IT IS.
270
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:05,265
RIGHT.
WHEN YOU WERE 6
AND TOOK MY CHEERLEADING CLASS,
271
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:09,036
YOU WOULDN'T EVEN CHEER FOR
ANY OTHER SCHOOL THAN HARVARD.
272
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,771
THAT'S TRUE.
THAT IS TRUE.
273
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,605
WELL, THEN THE LIST
WILL REFLECT IT.
274
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,908
"AND MY SOUL
FROM OUT THAT SHADOW
275
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:18,178
"THAT LIES FLOATING ON
THE FLOOR, SHALL BE LIFTED --
276
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,246
NEVERMORE!"
277
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,715
OH, EXCELLENT. BRAVO.
278
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,151
BRAVO.
VERY NICE!
279
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,253
THAT WAS WONDERFUL,
WASN'T IT?
280
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:29,422
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR THAT RENDITION.
281
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,091
THANK YOU.
282
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:34,261
WHAT'S WITH THE POES?
283
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,195
THEY LOOK UPSET.
284
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,030
WANNA HEAR THE SCOOP?
PLEASE.
285
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:40,267
I WAS HERE WHEN THEY ARRIVED.
THEY GOT THEIR SIGNALS CROSSED.
286
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,202
THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO PERFORM
DIFFERENT THINGS,
287
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,404
BUT THEY BOTH CAME TO DO
"THE RAVEN."
288
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,875
IF THE POES START FIGHTING,
DOES THAT PUNCH A HOLE
IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM?
289
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:52,145
AND THROW US INTO A UNIVERSE
WHERE EVERYTHING IS THE OPPOSITE
OF WHAT IT IS HERE?
290
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,580
THERE'LL BE
FUNNY SITCOMS THERE.
291
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,216
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WE HAVE A SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU.
292
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,251
IT'LL ALLOW YOU
TO COMPARE AND CONTRAST
293
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,754
INTERPRETATIONS OF POE'S
MOST FAMOUS WORK.
294
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,589
OH, NO.
COMPARE AND CONTRAST?
295
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:03,824
THAT CAN ONLY MEAN --
296
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:06,293
PLEASE ENJOY THIS SECOND
RECITATION
297
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,328
OF "THE RAVEN."
298
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,265
DO WE BOLT?
DO WE DARE?
299
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,435
IF I BROUGHT A FLASK,
WE COULD'VE PLAYED THE
"NEVERMORE" DRINKING GAME.
300
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:18,705
MAYBE THIS IS WHAT
DROVE POE TO THE BOTTLE.
HIS OWN WORK.
301
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,140
Man: "ONCE,
UPON A MIDNIGHT DREARY,
302
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,175
"WHILE I PONDERED,
WEAK AND WEARY
303
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,712
"OVER MANY A QUAINT AND CURIOUS
VOLUME OF FORGOTTEN LORE
304
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,614
WHILE I NODDED,
NEARLY NAPPING..."
305
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,117
WEIRD VIBE IN HERE.
306
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:31,284
VERY POE.
307
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,853
VERY POE.
308
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:36,824
WELL, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
309
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,626
YOU CAN'T JUST COMPLAIN,
AND THEN WHEN YOU WALK OUT,
310
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:42,462
YOU REASSESS BASED ON THE RELIEF
YOU'RE FEELING THAT IT'S OVER.
311
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:44,898
I WAS ABLE TO COMPARE AND
CONTRAST BETWEEN READINGS.
312
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,934
I WAS ABLE TO NAP
FOR 20 MINUTES.
313
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,002
GOOD EVENING, LADIES.
OH, HI, POE.
314
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,038
GOOD JOB IN THERE.
I THANK YOU.
315
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,406
YOUNG MISS, DO CORRECT ME,
BUT I HEARD TELL
316
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,943
THAT YOU ARE CONSIDERING
ATTENDING HARVARD UNIVERSITY.
317
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,812
I AM.
I MYSELF ATTENDED WEST POINT.
318
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:03,216
I'M EMBARRASSED TO SAY THAT
I WAS COURT-MARTIALED IN 1832
AND FORCED TO LEAVE.
319
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,053
EXCUSE ME, BUT I WAS EXPELLED
FROM WEST POINT IN 1831,
320
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,821
NOT 1832.
OH.
321
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,090
NO. I DO BELIEVE IT WAS 1832.
322
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,724
IT WAS AN ELECTION YEAR.
323
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,193
IT WAS NOT AN ELECTION YEAR.
324
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,228
PRESIDENT JACKSON
WAS TO SERVE FIVE MORE YEARS.
325
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:18,899
I'M SURE IT WAS '32. I'M SAD TO
SAY IT WAS THE SAME YEAR
326
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,333
MY OLDER BROTHER WILLIAM
PASSED AWAY.
327
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,335
OKAY, THAT'S NOT RIGHT
EITHER, FRED.
328
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:24,771
"FRED"? I DON'T KNOW THIS
"FRED" YOU SPEAK OF.
329
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,174
OH, KNOCK IT OFF!
I'M TIRED.
330
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,844
WILL YOU EXCUSE ME?
YEAH.
331
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,512
POES ARE VERY TESTY PEOPLE.
HMM-MM.
332
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:34,848
GOT YOUR LATEST
TOPICAL T-SHIRTS HERE, PEOPLE.
333
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,549
BRAND-NEW TOPICAL T-SHIRTS
FOR SALE.
334
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:37,951
WHAT'S THIS ONE SAY?
335
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:40,453
"FAUX POES FOES."
VERY CLEVER, KIRK.
336
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,123
IT WAS AN INSPIRATION. BUT
THEY'RE NOT SELLING MUCH BETTER
337
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,058
THAN THE
"BABETTE ATE OATMEAL" SHIRTS.
338
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,427
KEEP THE DREAM, KIRK.
HEY, GUYS.
339
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,596
OH, HI.
MOM, THIS IS LINDSAY.
340
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,098
HI.
HI.
341
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,333
THE MARK TWAIN
MAGNET HEAD GIRL.
THE WHAT?
342
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,402
YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANECDOTE?
YOU'RE THE STAR.
343
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:58,838
THE ANECDOTE?
IT'S NOTHING, REALLY.
344
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,773
UM, IT'S THE FIELD TRIP
345
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,410
WE TOOK TO MARK TWAIN'S HOUSE
IN THE FOURTH GRADE.
346
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:06,880
I WANTED THIS MAGNET, YOU LEANT
ME THE MONEY, I GOT THE MAGNET.
347
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,615
SHE USUALLY TELLS IT BETTER.
348
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,218
I KIND OF REMEMBER.
349
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,686
SO, UH, CONGRATULATIONS
ON HARVARD.
350
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:15,022
OH, YEAH, THANKS.
351
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:17,157
I GOT INTO
SOUTHERN CONNECTICUT STATE.
352
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,726
OH, THAT'S GREAT!
IT IS. THAT'S GREAT, DEAN.
353
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,761
YOU'RE -- YOU'RE --
WOW.
354
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:23,830
YEAH, THANKS.
I'VE GOTTA GET HOME.
355
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:26,466
AND I GOTTA TAKE HER.
SO, I'LL SEE YOU GUYS.
356
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,168
SEE YOU.
BYE.
357
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,004
SO YOU SAY SHE WAS NICE?
358
00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,540
"WAS," I GUESS, BEING
THE OPERATIVE WORD.
359
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,707
SO, ARE WE GOING?
360
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,343
NO, YOU GO AHEAD.
I'LL CATCH UP.
361
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,778
OKAY. MAKE IT HOME
IN TIME FOR "CHARLIE ROSE."
362
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:40,613
BILLY JOEL'S ON,
AND HE MIGHT CRY.
363
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,648
OKAY.
364
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,685
SO, HOW WAS JESS'
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH THING?
365
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:47,054
IT WAS OKAY.
JUST OKAY?
366
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,721
THERE WAS PUNCH.
THE PUNCH WASN'T GOOD?
367
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:52,259
NO, JUST THAT THE MANAGER
CAME UP AFTERWARDS WHEN
JESS WAS GONE,
368
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,528
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW JESS IS
WORKING 40, 45 HOURS A WEEK.
369
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,564
WHAT? THAT'S FULL TIME.
THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
370
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:01,234
HOW DOES HE SWING IT?
HE MUST BE PULLING
DOUBLE SHIFTS ON THE WEEKENDS.
371
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,670
HE'S PRETTY MUCH DUDING
IT WITH RORY ON THE WEEKENDS.
372
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,306
THEN HE MUST BE GETTING UP
EARLY ON WEEKDAY MORNINGS.
373
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:09,776
HAVE YOU SEEN HIM DO THAT?
NO, BUT I DON'T
TRAIL HIM, EITHER.
374
00:15:09,842 --> 00:15:11,611
YOU SLEEP IN THE
SAME ROOM WITH HIM.
375
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:15,048
THE MANAGER MUST BE GETTING JESS
CONFUSED WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
376
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,283
OR...
OR WHAT?
377
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,717
[ SIGHS ]
I DON'T WANNA SAY.
378
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,219
FORGET IT.
SAY IT. GO AHEAD.
379
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:21,654
OR HE'S WORKING
WHEN HE SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL.
380
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,290
IMPOSSIBLE. NO WAY.
WHY?
381
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:26,926
HE KNOWS THE RULES. HE'S GOTTA
GRADUATE TO STAY LIVING WITH ME.
382
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:28,795
HE'S GOING.
HE'S GETTING EVERYTHING DONE.
383
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:30,063
HE'S DOING HIS WORK.
384
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,564
YOU'VE SEEN THIS WORK
HE'S DOING?
385
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:35,568
NOT FOR A WHILE,
BUT I JUST KNOW THAT HE IS.
386
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,571
NOPE, NO WAY HE'S CUTTING
SCHOOL. IT'S SUICIDE. NO WAY.
387
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,141
I SHOULDN'T HAVE
BROUGHT IT UP.
IT'S OKAY.
388
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:43,176
OKAY.
GOODNIGHT.
389
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,813
SAY, HOW CAN I HAVE A CAREER
AS A POE?
390
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:50,417
IT'S NOT A CAREER. THIS IS
JUST AN EVENT THAT WE DO.
391
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:54,087
I WRITE TECHNICAL MANUALS
FOR A LIVING.
392
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:57,190
YES, BUT HOW CAN I HAVE
A CAREER AS A POE?
393
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:04,764
MOM.
394
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,599
MOM, WAKE UP.
WHAT?
395
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,435
IT'S TOBIN AT THE INN.
SOMETHING'S WRONG.
396
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,271
WHAT'S WRONG?
THE FIRE ALARM'S GOING OFF.
397
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:14,107
THAT STUPID ALARM.
IT'S ALWAYS DOING THAT.
398
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,343
TELL IF HE DOESN'T
SMELL SMOKE TO RESET IT,
399
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,911
AND I'M GONNA KICK HIS ASS
AROUND THE LOBBY
400
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,747
FOR WAKING ME UP.
HE SOUNDS FREAKED.
401
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,948
[ GROANS ]
402
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,883
HERE.
403
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:26,619
TOBIN, WHAT?
404
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,355
OH, MY GOD.
405
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,857
O-OKAY. GET DRESSED.
WHAT IS IT?
406
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,692
GET DRESSED, GET DRESSED.
407
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,928
Man: LET'S RUN A FULL RIG
UP THERE.
408
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,597
Woman:
What's your status?
409
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,832
I'VE GOT THE FIRST ENGINE
LADDERING THE ROOF.
410
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,334
FIRST ENGINE.
411
00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,903
WE NEED P.D.
FOR TRAFFIC CONTROL.
Copy that.
412
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:45,272
HEY.
LORELAI, THANK GOD.
413
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,107
WHAT'S GOING ON?
THIS IS LORELAI GILMORE.
414
00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:48,941
WHAT'S GOING ON?
IN A MINUTE, MA'AM.
415
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,044
MOM, LET HIM DO HIS THING.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
416
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,546
SOOKIE, MICHEL,
IS EVERYONE OUT?
YES.
417
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:55,215
ARE YOU SURE?
YES, WE'RE SURE,
418
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:57,450
THE FIRE DEPARTMENT'S SURE.
WE DID A HEAD COUNT.
419
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,686
WE NEED TO DOUBLE-CHECK,
TRIPLE-CHECK.
420
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:02,889
JULIO -- HE DOESN'T START
TILL 6:00, BUT SOMETIMES
HE COMES EARLY
421
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:07,660
BECAUSE HIS SISTER-IN-LAW RITA
GIVES HIM A RIDE ON HER WAY
TO WORK IN SALISBURY.
422
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:08,761
OH, JULIO. JULIO.
423
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,431
I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU,
YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN.
424
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,067
MA'AM, I'M CHIEF BAKER.
425
00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,703
OH, I'M SORRY I JUMPED ON YOU.
THAT'S OKAY.
426
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,172
THE GOOD NEWS IS
THIS IS ALMOST OUT.
427
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:22,842
THE STRUCTURE'S STABLE,
AND YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA BE
ABLE TO GET BACK IN
428
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:25,011
IN ABOUT 24 HOURS.
EXCELLENT.
429
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,813
24 HOURS.
THE STRUCTURE'S STABLE.
430
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,281
THANK YOU.
THAT'S OKAY.
431
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:31,118
YOUR STATUE'S GOING UP
AS SOON AS WE GET BACK IN.
432
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,653
80 FEET TALL.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
433
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,289
HERE WE GO, GUYS -- PHASE 2.
LOVING THE PACE HERE.
434
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:39,126
WE NEED FOOD, WE NEED COMPUTERS
WITH INTERNET, WE NEED PHONES.
435
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,928
MICHEL, I NEED YOU ON THIS STAT.
HURRY, HURRY.
436
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:43,496
RORY,
YEAH.
437
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,333
HELP THE GUESTS WITH KIDS. MAKE
SURE THEY'RE NOT FREAKED OUT.
438
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,767
GATHER THEM UP
AND ENTERTAIN THEM
439
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,802
SO THE ADULTS
CAN CATCH THEIR BREATH.
RIGHT.
440
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:52,439
I HAVE NEVER ENTERTAINED KIDS.
HOW DO I DO THAT?
441
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,707
TAKE YOUR SOCKS OFF
AND DO A PUPPET SHOW.
442
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,476
YOU'VE CLEARLY
NEVER ENTERTAINED KIDS EITHER.
443
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:59,112
IT'S ALL I CAN THINK OF.
GET CRACKING.
YES, MA'AM.
444
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,413
HI, EVERYBODY.
GOOD MORNING.
445
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,249
WHOA, TALK ABOUT
YOUR CHANGE OF PLANS HERE.
446
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:06,286
UNFORTUNATELY, YOU CAN'T GET
YOUR STUFF OUT
FOR AT LEAST A DAY.
447
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:08,588
HOWEVER, IF YOU WANT TO
GET HOME IMMEDIATELY,
448
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,923
WE WILL CHECK PLANES, TRAINS,
WHATEVER YOU NEED.
449
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:14,060
WE'LL SEND YOUR STUFF
LATER AS SOON AS WE GET IT.
450
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,695
BUT IF YOU CAN'T
GET HOME YET,
451
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,598
WE WILL PROVIDE EVERYTHING
SHORT OF ANYTHING ILLEGAL,
452
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:22,602
AND THAT'S GONNA START WITH THE
BEST BREAKFAST OF YOUR LIVES.
453
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:28,475
GO TO THE MARKET
AND GET FOOD AND
SUPPLIES WE NEED FOR BREAKFAST.
454
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,776
GOING.
455
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,482
HEY, WHO ARE YOU ON WITH?
THE CHESHIRE CAT INN.
456
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,585
OH, GREAT.
FIND PEOPLE PLACES TO SLEEP.
457
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:41,221
EXCELLENT.
YES, MY NAME IS MICHEL GERARD.
458
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,089
I USED TO WORK AT
THE INDEPENDENCE INN,
459
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:46,593
AND I WAS WONDERING IF THERE
WERE ANY POSITIONS AVAILABLE?
460
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,728
L--
461
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,364
PHONES, COMPUTER --
I'M ON IT.
462
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,669
MORNING.
WHAT?
WHAT IS THIS?
463
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:57,970
PHASE 2.
PHASE 2?
464
00:18:58,037 --> 00:18:59,239
INTO THE BACK, GUYS.
MARCH!
465
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:00,673
THOSE GUYS
CAN'T GO BACK THERE.
466
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,942
WE'RE IN LUCK.
LOTS OF EMPTY PLACES.
467
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,777
WHAT IS THIS?
WE HAD A FIRE.
468
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:05,945
WHERE?
WESTON'S BAKERY.
469
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:07,914
YOU'RE KIDDING!
THEY'LL HAVE BLUEBERRIES.
470
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,783
PERFECT. UM, WESTON'S. HURRY.
WESTON'S CAUGHT FIRE?
471
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,319
NO, THE INN.
YOUR INN?
472
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:15,788
MOVE ALL OF LUKE'S STUFF ASIDE.
WE DON'T NEED IT!
WAIT A MINUTE.
473
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,590
EVERYONE'S FINE.
WE'RE INTO PHASE 2.
474
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,892
WHAT IS PHASE 2?
JUST SHOVE IT ASIDE!
475
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,861
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
MAKING BREAKFAST.
476
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,263
YOU CAN'T MAKE
BREAKFAST HERE.
477
00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,897
GOT ANY PLATES
THAT AREN'T CRACKED?
478
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,199
YOU'RE THE ONE
THAT'S CRACKED.
479
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:28,067
NICE THING TO SAY
TO A PREGNANT WOMAN.
480
00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:30,437
YOU'RE PREGNANT?
COULD YOU BE
ANY FARTHER BEHIND?
481
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,706
YO, CAESAR, HELP MY GUYS
AND THERE'S A $20 IN IT FOR YOU.
482
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:36,343
WE CAN'T BE MAKING DIFFERENT
STUFF AT THE SAME TIME.
483
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,578
ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO
WERE HERE BEFORE WE INVADED,
484
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:41,080
ARE YOU WILLING TO CANCEL
YOUR ORDERS FOR SOOKIE'S FAMOUS
485
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:44,351
BLUEBERRY-LEMON PANCAKES,
BELGIAN WAFFLES
OR BANANAS FOSTER?
486
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:45,852
SURE.
SOUNDS GOOD.
487
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:48,488
OKAY. PULL LUKE'S STUFF OFF
THE GRILL. LET'S GET COOKING.
488
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,657
I'M AN ISLAND.
I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS,
489
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:53,426
BUT I'M NOT ANTICIPATING THE
INN CATCHING FIRE EVER AGAIN,
490
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,161
SO IT'S
A ONE-TIME-ONLY THING, OKAY?
491
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,396
LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE?
492
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,531
YOU DO.
SAY THE WORD AND WE GO.
493
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,300
STAY, COOK, EAT.
I'LL BE UPSTAIRS.
494
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,168
YOU'RE A DOLL.
495
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,803
NO, GET RID OF IT.
DUMP IT.
496
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:07,440
DUMP IT. I DON'T WANNA SEE IT!
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
497
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,410
[ High-pitched voice ]
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE!
498
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:14,514
[ Deep voice ] NAG, NAG, NAG.
I WANNA WATCH FOOTBALL
AND SIT IN MY RECLINING CHAIR.
499
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,549
[ High-pitched ] GET BACK HERE!
I'M GONNA GET YOU!
500
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,184
[ Normal voice ]
HOLD ON A SECOND.
501
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,052
NO, KEEP GOING.
CALM DOWN, LITTLE SCOOTER.
502
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,122
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
SHARI LEWIS, HOW'S IT GOING?
503
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,557
OH, THEY'RE RIVETED.
GOOD.
504
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,859
BUT I STINK. I KEEP REPEATING
THE SAME STUFF.
505
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:29,696
MUST BE WORKING.
I NAMED THEM
MR. AND MRS. SOCK PUPPET.
506
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,931
I PUT NO ENERGY INTO THIS.
COME BACK, RORY.
507
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,367
YOU'D THINK A PUPPET SHOW
WOULD BORE THEM TO TEARS.
508
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,637
IT'S YOUR NARRATIVE SKILLS.
IS HE GONNA TAKE THE GARBAGE
OUT OR NOT?
509
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:42,309
I'M ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT.
THEY WON'T LET ME STOP,
I HAVE GET TO SCHOOL.
510
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,744
GUYS,
GO ON OVER TO THE DINER
511
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,946
AND HAVE BREAKFAST
WITH YOUR FAMILIES,
512
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:48,815
AND THEN ASK THE NICE MAN
513
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:51,618
IN THE BASEBALL HAT
TO DO SOCK PUPPETS FOR YOU.
514
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,887
IF HE SAYS NO, ASK HIM LOUDER!
IT'S PART OF THE GAME!
515
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,356
OH, BOY!
GO.
516
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:57,924
YOU'RE CRUEL AND I LOVE YOU.
517
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,992
COME CHECK IN
AT PATTY'S WITH ME.
518
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:02,995
I LOVE COMPUTERS,
I JUST KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM.
519
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,798
WHAT DOES PUSHING THAT
"F3" BUTTON DO?
520
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,467
ANNOY ME TO NO END.
521
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:10,169
WHAT ABOUT THE "F4"?
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
522
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:12,271
HELLO, THIS IS
THE INDEPENDENCE INN
523
00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:13,673
EMERGENCY HEADQUARTERS.
524
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,809
I'M MISS PATTY.
I'LL BE ASSISTING YOU TODAY.
525
00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,044
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
526
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,480
THE PRINTER WILL BE HERE
IN HALF AN HOUR?
527
00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:23,249
I'LL LET HIM KNOW.
THANK YOU. GOODBYE.
528
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,817
THE PRI--
I HEARD,
529
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:27,219
AND YOU'VE GOT TO
SHORTEN YOUR GREETING.
WHAT?
530
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:30,890
YOU DON'T NEED TO RECITE THE
GETTYSBURG ADDRESS EVERY TIME
YOU ANSWER THE PHONE.
531
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:33,726
I WAS RICARDO MONTALBAN'S
RECEPTIONIST FOR 6 MONTHS,
532
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,362
AND HE NEVER COMPLAINED.
533
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,229
WHO?
DON'T MAKE ME HIT YOU.
534
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,731
YOU ALL SET UP HERE?
535
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,000
COMPUTER WITH INTERNET,
PHONES FORWARDED HERE,
536
00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:43,436
PRINTER ON THE WAY.
I'M THE RECEPTIONIST.
537
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:44,904
AND I'M
LEARNING THE COMPUTER.
538
00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:46,739
AND I'M LOOKING FOR
MY CYANIDE CAPSULE.
539
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,175
HAVE YOU SEEN IT?
IT'S NICE OF YOU TO HELP.
540
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:51,411
HALF THE POE GROUP
NEEDS TO STAY ANOTHER NIGHT,
541
00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:54,747
WE'LL HAVE TO FIND
PLACES TO ACCOMMODATE THEM.
EVERYTHING IS BOOKED.
542
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,283
YOU CHECKED THE CHESHIRE CAT,
THE MAIDEN'S TEACUP,
543
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:58,918
THE COOKIE HOUSE,
THE SUGAR BEAR INN?
544
00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:01,788
EVERY PLACE THAT SOUNDS LIKE
GLINDA THE GOOD WITCH THREW UP,
545
00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:04,757
YES, THEY'RE ALL BOOKED.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO TAKE PEOPLE IN.
546
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,826
WELL, I CAN TAKE A COUPLE IN,
SWEETIE.
547
00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:08,561
I CAN, TOO.
WE GOT COTS.
548
00:22:08,628 --> 00:22:10,062
O-O-OOH, WE GOT COTS.
549
00:22:10,129 --> 00:22:11,731
GREAT. MICHEL?
FORGET IT.
550
00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:14,767
THE POES ARE WEIRD. I'D FEAR
BEING KILLED IN MY SLEEP.
551
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,303
PLUS, I DON'T LIKE STRANGERS
USING MY TOILET.
552
00:22:17,370 --> 00:22:19,338
I BET THE KIMS
COULD PUT PEOPLE UP
553
00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:20,540
AND TAYLOR AND AL.
554
00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:22,375
WE'VE GOT OUR COUCH
AND MY ROOM.
555
00:22:22,442 --> 00:22:23,710
NOPE.
WHAT?
556
00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:25,745
THEY CAN HAVE MY ROOM.
HON, MINE'S FINE.
557
00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:28,515
MOM, MINE. YOU'RE STRESSED OUT
ENOUGH WITHOUT LOSING YOUR ROOM.
558
00:22:28,581 --> 00:22:31,150
SO YOU NEED YOUR REST,
SO YOU KEEP YOUR BED.
559
00:22:31,217 --> 00:22:32,485
I'LL LOOK SELFISH.
560
00:22:32,552 --> 00:22:34,721
IF ANYONE CALLS YOU THAT,
I'LL KICK THEIR BUTTS.
561
00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:36,456
OKAY,
YOUR ROOM UNDER PROTEST.
562
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:40,760
HEY, MICHEL, I JUST HIT "F4"
AND THE "NUM LOCK" KEY
563
00:22:40,827 --> 00:22:42,995
AND THE ONE WITH
THE LITTLE APPLE ON IT,
564
00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:45,832
AND IT'S FREAKING OUT
LIKE IT'S ON ACID OR SOMETHING.
565
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:48,034
OY VEY.
566
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,268
I GOT IT.
567
00:22:49,335 --> 00:22:50,470
YEAH?
568
00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:52,505
WELL, YOU NEED TO SAY
MORE THAN THAT!
569
00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:53,806
WELL, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
570
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:56,443
I'VE GOTTA GO, BUT PAGE ME
IF THERE'S ANY NEWS.
571
00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:58,077
YOU MEAN LIKE IF MICHEL
KILLS BABETTE,
572
00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:00,547
PATTY, THEN HIMSELF IN A BIZARRE
MURDER-MURDER-SUICIDE PACT?
573
00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:03,382
AMONGST OTHER THINGS.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
574
00:23:04,851 --> 00:23:06,419
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
WE HAD A FIRE.
575
00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:08,555
I KNOW.
576
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:10,723
BYE.
577
00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:14,861
IT'LL BE THE LAST MIDTERM
OF YOUR HIGH-SCHOOL CAREERS,
578
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:17,697
SO REJOICE OVER THAT
IF NOTHING ELSE.
[ BELL RINGS ]
579
00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:20,332
BEFORE YOU GO, I JUST WANNA
MENTION THAT IT LOOKS LIKE
580
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:23,035
ANOTHER BANNER YEAR FOR CHILTON
GRADS SEEKING TOP COLLEGES.
581
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:25,271
I WANNA CONGRATULATE
ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE HEARD
582
00:23:25,337 --> 00:23:27,907
AND ADVISE PATIENCE
FOR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE NOT.
583
00:23:27,974 --> 00:23:31,177
NO ONE HAS ESCAPED FROM CHILTON
WITHOUT GOING ON
TO ANOTHER TERRIFIC SCHOOL
584
00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:33,680
IF THAT'S HIS OR HER GOAL.
GOOD TO HEAR.
585
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:36,749
I KNOW AT LEAST ONE OF YOU
HAS BEEN ACCEPTED TO HARVARD.
586
00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:41,120
IT'S AN IMMENSE HONOR, THAT.
CONGRATULATIONS.
587
00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:43,355
HAVE YOU GUYS
HEARD FROM PARIS?
HEARD WHAT?
588
00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:44,824
ANYTHING.
SHE'S NOT HERE?
589
00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:48,227
SHE'S BEEN GONE FOR FIVE DAYS.
HUH. DIDN'T NOTICE.
590
00:23:48,294 --> 00:23:52,532
ALTHOUGH IT DID SEEM LIKE
THERE WAS A LOT MORE AIR
IN HERE, DIDN'T IT?
591
00:24:00,072 --> 00:24:03,710
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
Man on TV: I HAVE
TO TALK TO YOU...
592
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:05,411
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
593
00:24:05,478 --> 00:24:07,246
COME BACK FOR THE TRAY
LATER, NANNY.
594
00:24:07,313 --> 00:24:09,048
IT'S NOT NANNY, PARIS.
IT'S RORY.
595
00:24:09,115 --> 00:24:10,817
CAN I COME IN?
596
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:13,052
I GUESS.
597
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,723
HI. I BROUGHT A BUNCH OF SCHOOL
STUFF FROM THE PAST FEW DAYS.
598
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:20,359
IF THERE'S ANYTHING MISSING,
I CAN BRING IT OVER LATER.
599
00:24:20,426 --> 00:24:22,595
THANK YOU.
600
00:24:22,662 --> 00:24:25,397
NO OFFENSE,
BUT MY SOAP'S STARTING.
601
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:26,766
SO YOU'RE SICK, HUH?
602
00:24:26,833 --> 00:24:30,369
YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG --
YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE.
603
00:24:30,436 --> 00:24:31,638
THAT'S MARTIN.
604
00:24:31,704 --> 00:24:32,972
HIS SISTER-IN-LAW
GOT KIDNAPPED,
605
00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:35,608
AND HE THINKS HIS FORMER LOVER
IS BEHIND IT.
606
00:24:35,675 --> 00:24:37,644
JUICY.
SO, DON'T YOU HAVE
AN ANNOUNCEMENT?
607
00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:39,712
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
DID YOU GET IN?
608
00:24:39,779 --> 00:24:41,748
WE DON'T HAVE TO --
I KNOW YOU DID.
609
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:44,050
YOU'VE GOT THAT
HARVARD GLOW ABOUT YOU...
610
00:24:44,116 --> 00:24:45,384
THE GLOW OF DESTINY.
611
00:24:45,451 --> 00:24:47,253
PARIS.
JUST TELL ME.
612
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,655
I GOT IN.
UGH!
613
00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:51,691
AMANDA AND RICHARD.
I'M SO OVER THEM.
614
00:24:51,758 --> 00:24:53,893
SO, YOU'VE BEEN
INCOMMUNICADO LATELY.
615
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,563
I'VE HAD NANNY HOLD ALL
MY CALLS AND THE MAIL.
616
00:24:56,629 --> 00:24:59,599
MY PARENTS ARE AWAY,
SO I'VE BEEN TOTALLY
HOWARD HUGHES-ING IT.
617
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:01,801
SO, DID YOU TELL THEM
ABOUT HARVARD?
NO.
618
00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:03,335
DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD?
NO.
619
00:25:03,402 --> 00:25:05,572
WELL, DON'T YOU THINK
THEY'LL FIND OUT?
HOW?
620
00:25:05,638 --> 00:25:07,406
YOU NOT MOVING OUT
MIGHT BE A TIP-OFF.
621
00:25:07,473 --> 00:25:10,042
I'LL GET AN APARTMENT IN
CAMBRIDGE, BUY A HARVARD
SWEATSHIRT,
622
00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:12,144
TALK ABOUT MIRA SORVINO
A LOT. IT'S DOABLE.
623
00:25:12,211 --> 00:25:14,581
I TOLD MY MOTHER ABOUT
HAVING SEX WITH JAMIE,
624
00:25:14,647 --> 00:25:16,215
AND HER REACTION
WAS TO TALK ABOUT
625
00:25:16,282 --> 00:25:18,651
HOW MY FATHER HASN'T
PLEASED HER IN 15 YEARS.
626
00:25:18,718 --> 00:25:20,452
YIKES.
LIKE I COULDN'T TELL.
627
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:23,122
WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?
I HAVEN'T CALLED HIM.
628
00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:25,558
THE ONLY PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE
WORK AT "GENERAL HOSPITAL"?
629
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:28,327
THIS ISN'T "GENERAL HOSPITAL."
I DON'T DESERVE
"GENERAL HOSPITAL."
630
00:25:28,394 --> 00:25:30,563
OKAY, YOU'VE
GOT TO STOP IT.
631
00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:32,632
WHAT HAPPENED?!
HARVARD WAS MY DESTINY.
632
00:25:32,699 --> 00:25:34,533
I WAS FLIPPING THROUGH
HARVARD CLASS SCHEDULES
633
00:25:34,601 --> 00:25:37,604
WHEN YOU WERE STILL DELIGHTING
TO "ADVENTURES OF
GUMBY AND POKEY."
634
00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:39,471
I WAS A PEE-WEE HERMAN
KIND OF GAL.
635
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:42,108
IT'S PARTLY MY PARENTS' FAULT.
THEY DIDN'T BRAND ME PROPERLY.
636
00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:44,744
I SHOULD'VE BEEN AT
92nd STREET Y OR BRICK CHURCH.
637
00:25:44,811 --> 00:25:47,513
PREP SCHOOLS?
PRESCHOOLS.
IT DECIDES EVERYTHING.
638
00:25:47,580 --> 00:25:49,982
BUT I'M NOT
TOTALLY BLAMELESS.
639
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:53,052
I FOUND A SPOT IN MY INTERVIEW
THAT I'M SURE DOOMED ME.
640
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:54,887
YOU RECORDED
YOUR HARVARD INTERVIEW?
641
00:25:54,954 --> 00:25:56,322
THE PLAN WAS
TO ARCHIVE EVERYTHING,
642
00:25:56,388 --> 00:25:59,125
THEN DONATE IT TO THE UNIVERSITY
UPON MY DEMISE.
643
00:25:59,191 --> 00:26:01,961
LITTLE DID I EXPECT THAT
MY DEMISE WOULD COME THIS EARLY.
644
00:26:02,028 --> 00:26:03,996
Paris: IT SHOULDN'T EVEN
BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT!
645
00:26:04,063 --> 00:26:06,065
THIS DOVETAILS NICELY
INTO POPULATION CONTROL.
646
00:26:06,132 --> 00:26:08,935
IT'S A LITTLE HOT.
CAN WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT?
647
00:26:09,001 --> 00:26:10,569
POPULATION CONTROL HAS
BEEN DRAMATICALLY SUCCESSFUL
648
00:26:10,637 --> 00:26:12,639
IN EUROPEAN COUNTRIES --
TO THE DETRIMENT OF SOME,
649
00:26:12,705 --> 00:26:14,674
ESPECIALLY ITALY, WHICH IS
EXPERIENCING A MARKED --
650
00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:16,308
Man: YOU THINK THIS
HAS ANYTHING TO --
651
00:26:16,375 --> 00:26:18,144
LET ME FINISH MY THOUGHT.
PARIS --
652
00:26:18,210 --> 00:26:19,812
PLEASE!
653
00:26:19,879 --> 00:26:23,015
WELL, YOU SAID "PLEASE."
THAT'S VERY POLITE.
654
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:24,951
I SOUND LIKE A METH ADDICT.
655
00:26:25,017 --> 00:26:27,854
I MIGHT AS WELL RECORD THE NEW
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE OVER THIS.
656
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,489
I HATE THAT YOUR TORTURING
YOURSELF LIKE THIS IN BED.
657
00:26:30,556 --> 00:26:32,124
PROUST WROTE ALL
3,000 PAGES OF
658
00:26:32,191 --> 00:26:35,795
"IN SEARCH OF LOST TIME" IN BED.
IF IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM...
659
00:26:35,862 --> 00:26:36,963
HEY!
660
00:26:37,029 --> 00:26:40,032
BED IS NOT A LIFE PLAN,
AND YOU NEED A LIFE PLAN.
661
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:42,869
HERE IT IS -- YOU NEED TO
TELL YOUR PARENTS ABOUT HARVARD.
662
00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:44,503
AND START
TAKING CALLS FROM PEOPLE.
663
00:26:44,570 --> 00:26:47,539
CHECK THE MAIL SO THAT YOU CAN
SEE THE OTHER UNIVERSITIES
664
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:49,108
THAT HAVE NO DOUBT
ACCEPTED YOU
665
00:26:49,175 --> 00:26:52,178
AND THAT ARE PROBABLY DYING TO
BE IN THE PARIS GELLER BUSINESS.
666
00:26:52,244 --> 00:26:54,613
CALL YOUR BOYFRIEND BECAUSE
HE'S GONNA BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU
667
00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:58,284
AND BECAUSE THIS IS HIS FAULT.
AND YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF BED.
668
00:26:58,350 --> 00:27:01,587
"BE IN THE PARIS GELLER
BUSINESS"?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT.
669
00:27:01,654 --> 00:27:03,355
THERE'S NO ALTERNATIVE
TO HARVARD.
670
00:27:03,422 --> 00:27:06,058
EXCEPT PRINCETON, YALE,
COLUMBIA, STANFORD,
671
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,960
SARAH LAWRENCE, ET CETERA,
ET CETERA.
672
00:27:08,027 --> 00:27:09,796
WELL...MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
673
00:27:09,862 --> 00:27:12,899
I'M UNQUESTIONABLY RIGHT.
BUT I'M NOT JUMPING UP
THIS SECOND.
674
00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:16,368
YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUSH.
AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO KEEP
WATCHING THIS,
675
00:27:16,435 --> 00:27:18,037
AT LEAST UNTIL ADRIANA'S
WRONGFUL CONVICTION
676
00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:19,672
FOR AGGRAVATED ASSAULT
IS OVERTURNED.
677
00:27:19,739 --> 00:27:21,040
I UNDERSTAND.
678
00:27:21,107 --> 00:27:22,141
THANKS.
679
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,282
YOU'VE GOT YOUR REMOTE,
WATER, COMIC BOOKS.
680
00:27:30,349 --> 00:27:32,518
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ALL SET
UP HERE, FRED JUNIOR.
681
00:27:32,584 --> 00:27:35,354
YES, MA'AM.
OH, "MA'AM" --
YOU MAKE ME FEEL OLD.
682
00:27:35,421 --> 00:27:36,555
STOP IT.
YES, MA'AM.
683
00:27:36,622 --> 00:27:38,590
NO, I MEAN IT.
STOP IT.
OKAY.
684
00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:40,226
I THINK
WE'RE OUT OF TOOTHPASTE.
685
00:27:40,292 --> 00:27:42,762
OH, SORRY, FRED. BELOW THE SINK
THERE'S PLENTY MORE.
686
00:27:42,829 --> 00:27:44,897
OH, THANK YOU.
THIS IS KINDA FUN.
687
00:27:44,964 --> 00:27:47,800
WELL, IT'S FUN HAVING YOU GUYS.
688
00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:52,872
AWW, I WOULD'VE DONE THAT.
689
00:27:52,939 --> 00:27:54,373
I FEEL WEIRD NOW.
WHY?
690
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,342
ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE
SLEEPING IN MY BED.
691
00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:59,211
HONEY, DON'T WORRY.
FRED AND HIS WIFE DON'T SEEM,
WHAT?
692
00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:01,113
LIKE THEY'RE FEELING
EXTREMELY ROMANTIC.
693
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:03,215
OH, GOD! THAT DIDN'T EVEN
CROSS MY MIND.
694
00:28:03,282 --> 00:28:05,251
YOU'RE KIDDING. THAT'S ALL
I WOULD'VE THOUGHT OF.
695
00:28:05,317 --> 00:28:07,686
I'M THINKING ABOUT IT NOW,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
696
00:28:07,754 --> 00:28:09,155
GOT ALL YOUR STUFF FOR LANE'S?
697
00:28:09,221 --> 00:28:12,058
YEAH, IT WASN'T
A HARD PACKING JOB.
698
00:28:12,124 --> 00:28:13,292
WOW.
699
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,527
[ SIGHS ]
THESE HAVE REALLY CHANGED.
700
00:28:15,594 --> 00:28:17,063
WHAT HAVE?
THE PRO/CON LISTS.
701
00:28:17,129 --> 00:28:19,298
IN ALL THE HUBBUB,
THEY SLIPPED MY MIND.
702
00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:22,969
YALE.
WHAT ABOUT IT?
703
00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:24,503
YALE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
704
00:28:24,570 --> 00:28:25,872
YALE.
STOP SAYING "YALE."
705
00:28:25,938 --> 00:28:28,274
IT HAS DOUBLE THE PROS.
I WOULDN'T SAY DOUBLE.
706
00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:31,077
TRIPLE OVER FILTHY, DIRTY
PRINCETON. IT'S KICKING BUTT.
707
00:28:31,143 --> 00:28:32,979
I'M NOT DONE
COLLECTING MY DATA YET.
708
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:36,448
THE DOCUMENT IS THE LENGTH
OF "NICHOLAS NICKLEBY".
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE DONE.
709
00:28:36,515 --> 00:28:37,784
BUT --
WHAT?
710
00:28:37,850 --> 00:28:39,018
LOOK AT MY WALL.
SO?
711
00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:41,120
SO THAT WALL SAYS SOMETHING.
YEAH, IT SAYS,
712
00:28:41,187 --> 00:28:43,689
"THE HARVARD MERCHANDISING
DEPARTMENT MADE A NICE
CHUNK OF CHANGE..."
713
00:28:43,756 --> 00:28:47,693
HOW CAN I GO TO YALE
WITH MY WALL LIKE THIS?
IT'S A WALL.
714
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,162
LOOK, HONEY, LUKE WAS RIGHT.
715
00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:52,598
THE PRO/CON LISTS HAVE TO COME
TO AN END EVENTUALLY.
716
00:28:52,664 --> 00:28:55,434
BUT LUKE ALSO REMINDED US THAT
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE
717
00:28:55,501 --> 00:28:58,404
HARVARD REGARDLESS OF A LIST.
EVERYONE THINKS THAT.
718
00:28:58,470 --> 00:29:00,172
I DON'T. I DON'T.
719
00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:03,843
I KNOW I'M THE ONE WHO SAID
"NO" TO YALE LOUDLY AND A LOT,
720
00:29:03,910 --> 00:29:06,012
BUT NOT ANYMORE.
I JUST WANT WHAT'S RIGHT.
721
00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:08,447
BUT IT HAS TO BE
RIGHT FOR BOTH OF US.
722
00:29:08,514 --> 00:29:11,183
IF IT'S RIGHT FOR YOU,
IT'S REALLY RIGHT FOR ME.
723
00:29:11,250 --> 00:29:13,820
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO HATE THE PLACE I'M GOING.
724
00:29:13,886 --> 00:29:16,088
NEVER.
OH.
725
00:29:16,155 --> 00:29:18,124
UH, ARE YOU NOT
READY FOR US YET?
726
00:29:18,190 --> 00:29:20,559
WE'RE READY FOR YOU.
WE HATE TO PUT YOU OUT.
727
00:29:20,626 --> 00:29:23,295
IT'S PERFECTLY OKAY.
I'M GUESSING YOU'RE
GONNA FALL SOUND ASLEEP
728
00:29:23,362 --> 00:29:25,131
THE MINUTE YOUR HEADS
HIT THAT PILLOW.
729
00:29:25,197 --> 00:29:26,465
OH, YEAH.
WE'RE EXHAUSTED.
730
00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:27,900
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.
731
00:29:27,967 --> 00:29:29,768
YEAH, GUYS,
YELL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.
732
00:29:29,836 --> 00:29:33,039
I don't wanna hear you yelling
for any other reason.
Shh!
733
00:29:35,307 --> 00:29:37,209
SO, WHERE'S JESS TONIGHT?
WORKING.
734
00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:39,645
HE WORKS A LOT, DOESN'T HE?
HE'S SAVING A LOT.
735
00:29:39,711 --> 00:29:42,514
GOOD.
HE WANTS A BETTER CAR.
THIS CAR KEEPS STALLING.
736
00:29:42,581 --> 00:29:45,017
HE'S STILL WORKING
AT LUKE'S, TOO, RIGHT?
YEAH.
737
00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:46,853
IS HE DOWN
TO PART-TIME AT SCHOOL?
738
00:29:46,919 --> 00:29:48,687
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
GETTING WORK CREDIT?
739
00:29:48,754 --> 00:29:50,222
HE'S GOING FULL-TIME.
OH, YEAH?
740
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:52,859
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
I DON'T KNOW,
IT'S WAL-MART,
741
00:29:52,925 --> 00:29:54,593
WORKING AT LUKE'S,
SQUIRING YOU AROUND TOWN.
742
00:29:54,660 --> 00:29:58,064
SEEMS LIKE A LOT
OF HIS TIME IS ACCOUNTED FOR.
HE'S A SENIOR.
743
00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:00,099
HE'S GOING TO SCHOOL FULL-TIME.
ALRIGHT. JUST WONDERING.
744
00:30:00,166 --> 00:30:01,834
REST.
I'LL TRY.
745
00:30:01,901 --> 00:30:03,870
DON'T START THE SOCK PUPPETS
WITH FRED JUNIOR,
746
00:30:03,936 --> 00:30:06,839
HE'LL NEVER LET YOU STOP. BYE.
BYE.
747
00:30:06,906 --> 00:30:08,440
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
748
00:30:10,409 --> 00:30:12,845
THE EXCITEMENT HERE
NEVER STOPS, FRED JUNIOR.
749
00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:18,284
HI, THERE.
THE HATLESTADS. HI.
750
00:30:18,350 --> 00:30:20,152
I THOUGHT YOU WENT HOME.
WELL,
751
00:30:20,219 --> 00:30:22,388
BREAKFAST WAS SO GREAT,
AND THE TOWN'S SO NICE,
752
00:30:22,454 --> 00:30:24,423
AND YOU MADE STAYING OVER
SOUND SO FUN,
753
00:30:24,490 --> 00:30:26,926
THAT WE DECIDED
TO TAKE YOU UP ON IT.
754
00:30:26,993 --> 00:30:29,228
IS THAT OKAY?
IT'S MORE THAN OKAY.
755
00:30:29,295 --> 00:30:31,430
COME ON IN,
'CAUSE YOU'RE STAYING HERE.
756
00:30:31,497 --> 00:30:33,232
THANK YOU.
757
00:30:35,267 --> 00:30:37,836
YOUR BEDROOM'S RIGHT UPSTAIRS.
YOU CAN'T MISS IT.
758
00:30:37,904 --> 00:30:39,405
TERRIFIC.
THANKS.
759
00:30:39,471 --> 00:30:41,640
HOW MUCH ROOM YOU
TAKE UP ON THAT COUCH?
760
00:30:41,707 --> 00:30:44,276
PRETTY MUCH ALL OF IT.
THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.
761
00:30:47,246 --> 00:30:49,015
WHO DO YOU HAVE
STAYING IN YOUR ROOM?
762
00:30:49,081 --> 00:30:53,085
THE SECOND POE AND HIS WIFE.
FOR YOUR SAKE, I HOPE
THEY ARE VERY TIRED.
763
00:30:53,152 --> 00:30:56,255
WHY?
NOTHING. I SHOULDN'T
HAVE SAID ANYTHING.
764
00:30:56,322 --> 00:30:58,024
[ PHONE RINGS ]
HELLO?
765
00:30:58,090 --> 00:30:59,892
Lorelai: I'm a nomad.
WHAT?
766
00:30:59,959 --> 00:31:03,963
I'm the lonely wanderer.
Hank Williams would be sad
to write a song about me.
767
00:31:04,030 --> 00:31:06,632
WHERE ARE YOU?
I AM A BEDOUIN. I'M HOMELESS.
768
00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:08,067
OKAY, STOP THAT.
WHERE ARE YOU?
769
00:31:08,134 --> 00:31:10,836
I'M WALKING AIMLESSLY
AROUND TOWN.
770
00:31:10,903 --> 00:31:12,972
Why?
THE HATLESTADS SHOWED UP.
771
00:31:13,039 --> 00:31:14,606
But they went home.
APPARENTLY
772
00:31:14,673 --> 00:31:17,076
I MADE THE WHOLE EMERGENCY
FIRE ACCOMMODATIONS
773
00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:19,111
SOUND SO FUN
THAT THEY HAD SECOND THOUGHTS.
774
00:31:19,178 --> 00:31:20,479
YOU'RE A TERRIFIC SALESMAN.
775
00:31:20,546 --> 00:31:21,847
AND A TERRIFIC IDIOT.
776
00:31:21,914 --> 00:31:23,482
SO WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT THIS
SECOND?
777
00:31:23,549 --> 00:31:26,185
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE STREET, AKA MY BEDROOM.
778
00:31:26,252 --> 00:31:29,021
Mom...
I'M BY THE SCHOOL, LUKE'S.
779
00:31:29,088 --> 00:31:31,157
Luke's. Good. Go there.
IT'S CLOSED.
780
00:31:31,223 --> 00:31:33,792
BUT LUKE IS UPSTAIRS.
ASK HIM IF YOU CAN STAY.
781
00:31:33,859 --> 00:31:35,427
But--
I BET THE ANSWER IS YES.
782
00:31:35,494 --> 00:31:37,863
HE'LL MAKE ME EAT
A VEGGIE BURGER.
GET MOVING.
783
00:31:37,930 --> 00:31:39,365
FINE. BYE.
784
00:31:39,431 --> 00:31:40,499
Bye.
785
00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:45,171
LUKE!
786
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,641
LUKE!
787
00:31:51,610 --> 00:31:53,445
STELLA!!
788
00:31:57,583 --> 00:31:58,750
WHO IS THAT?!
789
00:31:58,817 --> 00:32:00,686
LORELAI.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DOWN THERE?
790
00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:03,522
ENJOYING SOME AIR, GETTING SOME
EXERCISE, AND FREEZING!
791
00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:05,057
WELL, GO HOME.
"HOME.
792
00:32:05,124 --> 00:32:07,893
I HAVE NO HOME.
HUNTED, DESPISED..."
793
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,828
WHAT?
IT'S FROM "ED WOOD," THE MOVIE?
794
00:32:09,895 --> 00:32:11,597
HAVE YOU GONE BONKERS?
795
00:32:11,663 --> 00:32:14,666
PEOPLE ARE BUNKING AT MY PLACE,
AND I NEED SOMEWHERE TO STAY.
796
00:32:14,733 --> 00:32:17,336
IT OCCURRED TO YOU
NOW TO LOOK FOR A PLACE?
797
00:32:17,403 --> 00:32:20,172
THE STUPID HATLESTADS SHOWED UP.
WHO?
798
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:23,342
PIPE DOWN OUT THERE!
799
00:32:23,409 --> 00:32:25,411
GO BACK TO BED, MRS. SLUTSKY.
800
00:32:25,477 --> 00:32:27,813
DON'T TALK TO ME THAT WAY,
YOUNG MAN!
801
00:32:27,879 --> 00:32:29,048
THROW YOUR KEYS DOWN.
802
00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:30,216
I WILL NOT!
803
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:32,118
NO, LUKE, MRS. SLUTSKY.
804
00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:34,620
I'LL JUST COME DOWN.
DO SOMETHING!
805
00:32:34,686 --> 00:32:36,355
DITTO.
I'M COMING DOWN.
806
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:43,095
MY INN CAUGHT FIRE.
807
00:32:45,197 --> 00:32:46,498
HURRY, LUKE.
808
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,370
NO, YOUNG CHUI, IT WAS RIGHT
TO BREAK UP WITH HER.
809
00:32:51,437 --> 00:32:54,006
WHY STAY IN A RELATIONSHIP
WHEN IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE?
810
00:32:54,073 --> 00:32:55,941
LIFE'S TOO SHORT -- EXACTLY.
811
00:32:56,008 --> 00:32:57,576
NO, I TOLD YOU A JOKE YESTERDAY.
812
00:32:57,643 --> 00:32:59,811
I NEED TIME TO COME UP
WITH ANOTHER ONE.
813
00:32:59,878 --> 00:33:03,515
LOOK, IT'S LATE. I'VE GOT MY
MATH TEST TOMORROW. I BETTER GO.
814
00:33:03,582 --> 00:33:06,585
YEAH, I'LL CALL YOU TO TELL YOU
HOW IT WENT. OKAY, NIGHT.
815
00:33:06,652 --> 00:33:09,021
YOUNG CHUI AND HIS
GIRLFRIEND ARE BROKEN UP, HUH?
816
00:33:09,088 --> 00:33:10,656
AND GOOD RIDDANCE.
SHE WAS VERY WASPY.
817
00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:13,292
WHAT ABOUT YOU AND YOUNG CHUI?
ARE YOU BROKEN UP?
818
00:33:13,359 --> 00:33:15,527
MY MOM THINKS WE'RE
THE PERFECT YOUNG KOREAN COUPLE.
819
00:33:15,594 --> 00:33:17,363
WEREN'T YOU SUPPOSED
TO BREAK UP?
YEAH.
820
00:33:17,429 --> 00:33:20,632
BUT HE THINKS IT ISN'T TIME YET.
WHY? IT'S A FAKE RELATIONSHIP.
821
00:33:20,699 --> 00:33:22,234
YOU WERE NEVER GOING OUT.
822
00:33:22,301 --> 00:33:25,337
I BRING IT UP EVERY NIGHT,
AND HE JUST CHANGES THE SUBJECT.
823
00:33:25,404 --> 00:33:28,174
YOU TALK EVERY NIGHT?
HE'S A LITTLE NEEDY RIGHT NOW.
824
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,542
THAT'S A LOT OF TALKING.
WELL, WE'RE FRIENDS.
825
00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:32,811
JUST FRIENDS?
WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT?
826
00:33:32,878 --> 00:33:34,213
HE'S CALLING YOU
EVERY NIGHT
827
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:35,881
AND HE KEEPS PUTTING OFF
YOUR BREAKUP,
828
00:33:35,947 --> 00:33:38,917
SO GOD KNOWS WHEN YOU'LL
BE ABLE TO DATE DAVE RYGALSKI.
829
00:33:38,984 --> 00:33:40,652
HE'S ASKING YOU
TO TELL HIM JOKES
830
00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:43,522
AND TO LET HIM KNOW
HOW YOUR MATH TEST WENT.
831
00:33:43,589 --> 00:33:45,057
SO?
832
00:33:45,124 --> 00:33:47,393
SO IT SOUNDS LIKE
HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU.
833
00:33:47,459 --> 00:33:49,895
NO. NO. YOUNG CHUI'S NOT
IN LOVE WITH ME,
834
00:33:49,961 --> 00:33:52,731
AND IT'S NOT FAIR FOR YOU
TO TAKE AN INNOCENT FRIENDSHIP
835
00:33:52,798 --> 00:33:55,534
LIKE WE HAVE,
WITH ITS AIR OF INNOCENCE --
836
00:33:55,601 --> 00:33:58,804
AND ITS INNOCENCE --
AND OH, MY GOD, HE LOVES ME.
837
00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:01,039
THAT STUPID BOY'S
FALLEN IN LOVE WITH ME.
838
00:34:01,107 --> 00:34:02,608
IT'S NOT STUPID.
YOU'RE A CATCH.
839
00:34:02,674 --> 00:34:04,676
BUT NOT HIS CATCH.
I'M DAVE'S CATCH.
840
00:34:04,743 --> 00:34:07,479
I'VE ALREADY BEEN CAUGHT.
YOU NEED TO BE MORE DIRECT.
841
00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:11,150
I CAN'T BREAK UP WITH HIM, OR
MY MOM WILL NEVER LET ME DATE.
842
00:34:11,217 --> 00:34:13,585
IT'S GOTTA COME FROM HIM.
WHAT DO I DO?
843
00:34:13,652 --> 00:34:16,122
[ KNOCK ON WINDOW ]
844
00:34:16,188 --> 00:34:17,756
JUST A SECOND.
845
00:34:21,793 --> 00:34:23,195
HEY.
HEY.
846
00:34:23,262 --> 00:34:25,397
BIZARRO DAY, HUH?
WOULDN'T WANNA REPEAT IT.
847
00:34:25,464 --> 00:34:27,233
INN STILL CLOSED?
JUST TILL TOMORROW.
848
00:34:27,299 --> 00:34:29,135
WHAT CAUSED IT?
THEY'RE NOT SURE.
849
00:34:29,201 --> 00:34:30,236
SOMETHING ELECTRICAL, PROBABLY.
850
00:34:30,302 --> 00:34:32,738
THAT'S USUALLY THE CULPRIT.
851
00:34:33,805 --> 00:34:35,040
SOMETHING THE MATTER?
852
00:34:35,107 --> 00:34:36,308
NO.
GOOD.
853
00:34:36,375 --> 00:34:38,344
SO, HOW WAS SCHOOL?
SAME OLD, SAME OLD.
854
00:34:38,410 --> 00:34:39,578
YOU'RE STILL DOING OKAY?
855
00:34:39,645 --> 00:34:41,347
DOING MY READING, 'RITING,
AND 'RITHMETIC.
856
00:34:41,413 --> 00:34:43,014
AND YOU'RE STILL GOING,
RIGHT?
857
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:45,151
WHAT?
WHERE'S THIS COMING FROM?
858
00:34:45,217 --> 00:34:47,018
THERE'S BEEN SPECULATION.
FROM WHO?
859
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:49,788
MY MOM ASKED WHETHER YOU'RE
GOING FULL-TIME TO SCHOOL.
860
00:34:49,855 --> 00:34:51,022
YOUR MOM.
YEAH.
861
00:34:51,089 --> 00:34:52,358
WHY IS SHE SO INTERESTED?
862
00:34:52,424 --> 00:34:53,992
BECAUSE YOU'RE DATING
HER DAUGHTER.
863
00:34:54,059 --> 00:34:56,027
GREAT. WHAT ELSE
DOES SHE THINK I DID?
864
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:58,264
START THE FIRE?
PUT PHIL SPECTOR UP TO IT?
865
00:34:58,330 --> 00:35:00,132
I TOLD HER, YES,
YOU WERE GOING.
866
00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:02,534
AS THEY SAY ON "THE FAMILY
FEUD" -- GOOD ANSWER.
867
00:35:02,601 --> 00:35:05,036
SO, I DIDN'T LIE TO HER?
NO.
868
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,272
NO?
869
00:35:06,338 --> 00:35:08,640
LOOK, DON'T WORRY.
I GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.
870
00:35:08,707 --> 00:35:10,676
JESS --
I'M GOING ENOUGH.
871
00:35:10,742 --> 00:35:13,479
I'VE BEEN PICKING UP SOME
EXTRA SHIFTS, BUT I'M FINE.
872
00:35:13,545 --> 00:35:15,046
IT'S MICKEY MOUSE STUFF
ANYWAY.
873
00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:18,317
WHAT IT TAKES THE OTHERS HOURS
TO LEARN, IT TAKES ME MINUTES.
874
00:35:18,384 --> 00:35:20,486
WELL, IF YOU'RE BEHIND --
I'M NOT BEHIND.
875
00:35:20,552 --> 00:35:24,156
BUT IF YOU GET BEHIND,
I CAN HELP YOU CATCH UP.
GOT IT COVERED.
876
00:35:24,223 --> 00:35:25,691
IF YOU SAY SO.
I DO.
877
00:35:25,757 --> 00:35:28,093
OKAY.
SO HOW ABOUT YOU COME OUT?
878
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,461
Mrs. Kim: WHAT'S THIS?
879
00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:32,130
HE WAS JUST LEAVING.
WHY IS HE HERE AT ALL?
880
00:35:32,198 --> 00:35:34,500
HE CAME TO BORROW SOMETHING...
HERE.
881
00:35:39,238 --> 00:35:41,173
THANK YOU.
882
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:43,108
BASEBALL BAT?
CRICKET.
883
00:35:43,175 --> 00:35:44,476
NIGHT.
884
00:35:49,047 --> 00:35:51,082
DON'T DO THAT.
DON'T DO WHAT?
885
00:35:51,149 --> 00:35:55,354
DON'T PULL THE SHEET BACK
AFTER I PULL IT.
I NEED MORE FOR THIS SIDE.
886
00:35:57,656 --> 00:36:00,359
YOU PULLED IT AGAIN.
I NEED IT FOR MY SIDE.
887
00:36:00,426 --> 00:36:02,594
I NEED TO TUCK IT IN
ON THIS SIDE.
888
00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:05,664
LET'S TUCK IN BOTH SIDES.
YOU TUCK IT IN
ON BOTH SIDES?
889
00:36:05,731 --> 00:36:09,134
I SLIP INTO IT LIKE
IT'S A STRAITJACKET.
YOU MUST FEEL RIGHT AT HOME.
890
00:36:09,201 --> 00:36:12,604
I SO SET YOU UP FOR THAT.
TUCK IT IN
ON YOUR SIDE.
891
00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:14,540
YOU KNOW, I
SHOULD TAKE THE COUCH.
892
00:36:14,606 --> 00:36:16,408
ME TAKING THE BED
DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.
893
00:36:16,475 --> 00:36:17,909
OH, NOW, COME ON.
WHAT?
894
00:36:17,976 --> 00:36:21,313
PRETENDING YOU DON'T WANT IT
NOW ISN'T WORKING.
895
00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:23,315
I'M PRETENDING
TO TRY TO BE POLITE.
896
00:36:23,382 --> 00:36:25,751
I'M FINE WITH THE COUCH.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S EXHAUSTED.
897
00:36:25,817 --> 00:36:28,220
YOU KNOW, I'M ACTUALLY NOT.
REALLY?
898
00:36:28,287 --> 00:36:30,522
I'M, LIKE,
STRANGELY EXHILARATED.
899
00:36:30,589 --> 00:36:33,058
I MEAN, AS AWFUL AS
WHAT HAPPENED TODAY WAS,
900
00:36:33,124 --> 00:36:34,760
I'M HAPPY WITH
HOW I HANDLED IT.
901
00:36:34,826 --> 00:36:36,628
YOU NEVER KNOW
HOW YOU'RE GONNA REACT
902
00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:39,365
IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS
UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS,
903
00:36:39,431 --> 00:36:41,333
AND I THINK I DID
PRETTY WELL.
904
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,535
YEAH, I DO, TOO.
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
905
00:36:46,238 --> 00:36:47,873
HELLO?
906
00:36:47,939 --> 00:36:50,075
OH, HEY, NICOLE. HI.
907
00:36:50,141 --> 00:36:52,411
YEAH, I'M GOOD.
OH, NOT MUCH.
908
00:36:52,478 --> 00:36:55,146
THERE WAS A FIRE
AT THE LOCAL INN OUT HERE.
909
00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:57,015
YEAH, THE ONE SHE
WORKS AT, YEAH.
910
00:36:57,082 --> 00:36:58,350
EVERYBODY'S FINE.
911
00:36:58,417 --> 00:37:00,786
YEAH, IT'S JUST
A LOT OF CHAOS FOR A WHILE.
912
00:37:00,852 --> 00:37:02,521
SO, HOW WAS
YOUR THING TODAY?
913
00:37:02,588 --> 00:37:05,324
ALRIGHT. FILL ME IN TOMORROW.
7:00's GOOD.
914
00:37:05,391 --> 00:37:07,092
OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ]
915
00:37:07,158 --> 00:37:09,595
OKAY, YEAH.
GOODNIGHT.
916
00:37:09,661 --> 00:37:11,129
THAT WAS NICOLE.
SO I HEARD.
917
00:37:11,196 --> 00:37:13,965
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL
HER I WAS HERE?
DIDN'T COME UP.
918
00:37:14,032 --> 00:37:17,436
YOU MEAN SHE DIDN'T, OUT OF THE
CLEAR BLUE AND FOR NO REASON,
919
00:37:17,503 --> 00:37:20,406
ASK IF I WAS SLEEPING OVER?
JUST DIDN'T SEEM NECESSARY.
920
00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:21,973
YOU'VE NOTHING
TO HIDE HERE.
921
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,009
YOU JUST TOOK IN A REFUGEE.
922
00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:25,477
I KNOW THERE'S NOTHING TO HIDE,
923
00:37:25,544 --> 00:37:28,046
IT'S JUST THAT
YOU'VE KINDA BECOME...
924
00:37:28,113 --> 00:37:29,648
BECOME WHAT?
925
00:37:29,715 --> 00:37:31,783
A SORE POINT
WITH ME AND NICOLE.
926
00:37:31,850 --> 00:37:32,784
WHAT? HOW?
927
00:37:32,851 --> 00:37:34,786
ON OUR FIRST DATE,
I WAS NERVOUS,
928
00:37:34,853 --> 00:37:37,423
AND I WASN'T HAVING ANY LUCK
COMING UP WITH TOPICS,
929
00:37:37,489 --> 00:37:39,257
SO I WAS JUST
KINDA BLABBING A LOT.
930
00:37:39,325 --> 00:37:42,561
SHE ORDERED EXTRA FRIES
AT DINNER, SO IT REMINDED
ME OF YOU,
931
00:37:42,628 --> 00:37:45,196
AND I TOLD HER A STORY
ABOUT YOU AND FRENCH FRIES.
932
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:49,167
AND THAT SEEMED FINE.
AND THEN LATER SHE ORDERED
A THIRD CUP OF COFFEE.
933
00:37:49,234 --> 00:37:50,536
OHH, LUKE.
934
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:52,671
AND I MENTIONED YOU
AND YOUR COFFEE THING,
935
00:37:52,738 --> 00:37:56,842
AND I NOTICED THAT NICOLE
KIND OF REACTED A LITTLE.
936
00:37:56,908 --> 00:37:59,511
EVER SINCE THEN SHE'S BEEN
A LITTLE SENSITIVE TO THE ISSUE.
937
00:37:59,578 --> 00:38:03,382
OF COURSE SHE IS. YOU DON'T
TALK ABOUT ANOTHER WOMAN
ON A FIRST DATE.
938
00:38:03,449 --> 00:38:05,617
EVEN IF IT'S JUST A FRIEND?
THEY DON'T EXIST.
939
00:38:05,684 --> 00:38:07,686
COME ON.
NOT ON A FIRST DATE.
940
00:38:07,753 --> 00:38:10,021
NO OTHER WOMEN EXIST,
NOT EVEN MY MOTHER?
941
00:38:10,088 --> 00:38:12,758
DO YOU REALLY THINK TALKING
ABOUT YOUR MOTHER IS WISE?
942
00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:15,894
NOT REALLY.
YOU CAN MAYBE
MENTION A SISTER -- MAYBE.
943
00:38:15,961 --> 00:38:18,296
AND THEN YOU MOVE ON REALLY,
REALLY QUICKLY.
944
00:38:18,364 --> 00:38:19,765
THIS IS WHY I HATE DATING.
945
00:38:19,831 --> 00:38:22,000
UNLESS YOU WANNA BE
MOUNTAIN MAN ALL YOUR LIFE,
946
00:38:22,067 --> 00:38:24,436
YOU'VE GOT TO ABIDE
BY THE RULES AND CUSTOMS.
947
00:38:24,503 --> 00:38:26,705
SORRY, I HAVE TO GET UP
SUPER EARLY TOMORROW.
948
00:38:26,772 --> 00:38:28,574
NO PROBLEM.
WHAT TIME?
6:00.
949
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,444
I GET UP AT QUARTER TO 5:00.
WHY WOULD YOU GET UP
THAT EARLY?
950
00:38:32,511 --> 00:38:34,279
I DON'T KNOW,
TO RUN MY BUSINESS.
951
00:38:34,346 --> 00:38:36,648
WELL, CHANGE BUSINESSES.
952
00:38:36,715 --> 00:38:39,250
OOH, WOW.
TOTAL DEJA VU.
953
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:42,120
REALLY?
IT'S THE ALARM CLOCK.
954
00:38:42,187 --> 00:38:46,458
I HAD A DREAM ONCE THAT YOU SET
18 ALARM CLOCKS TO GET ME UP,
955
00:38:46,525 --> 00:38:48,894
WHICH IS NOT A BAD WAY
TO GET ME UP.
956
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:52,964
WHERE WERE WE?
WE WERE, UM, AT MY HOUSE.
957
00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:56,368
I GOT UP AND WENT
DOWNSTAIRS FOR COFFEE...
958
00:38:56,435 --> 00:38:58,804
[ CHUCKLES ] AND YOU
TALKED TO MY STOMACH.
959
00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:02,340
WHY ON EARTH WOULD I DO THAT?
WELL, BECAUSE I WAS PREGNANT.
960
00:39:03,542 --> 00:39:05,343
TWINS.
MINE?
961
00:39:05,411 --> 00:39:07,813
WHAT AM I, DREAM TRAMP?
OF COURSE YOURS.
962
00:39:07,879 --> 00:39:08,980
WE WERE MARRIED?
963
00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:12,651
UM, YEAH.
DID I NOT MENTION THAT?
964
00:39:12,718 --> 00:39:13,952
NO.
965
00:39:16,922 --> 00:39:21,192
YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK
COFFEE WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT.
966
00:39:21,259 --> 00:39:22,828
YEAH, TRUE.
967
00:39:22,894 --> 00:39:25,864
THAT'S PROBABLY WHY
RORY'S A CAFFEINE ADDICT.
968
00:39:25,931 --> 00:39:29,167
RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.
DREAM GO BEYOND THAT?
969
00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:33,505
NO. UM, YOU TALKED TO
MY STOMACH, AND THEN YOU KI--
970
00:39:35,507 --> 00:39:36,508
WELL, NO.
971
00:39:36,575 --> 00:39:39,578
OH, OKAY. WELL...
972
00:39:39,645 --> 00:39:42,047
NIGHT.
YEAH.
973
00:39:42,113 --> 00:39:43,682
NIGHT.
974
00:39:44,716 --> 00:39:47,018
[ LUKE AND JESS SNORING ]
975
00:40:07,673 --> 00:40:09,274
LUKE AND SOOKIE
HAVE WORKED THINGS OUT.
976
00:40:09,340 --> 00:40:12,310
THERE DOES SEEM TO BE A GRUDGING
RESPECT THING GOING ON.
977
00:40:12,377 --> 00:40:15,013
GET THE RICOTTA FRITTERS
STARTED, GUYS.
978
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,248
ARE WE MAKING
THE CAJUN EGGS BENEDICT AGAIN?
979
00:40:17,315 --> 00:40:18,784
WE COULD.
LET'S. IT WAS GOOD.
980
00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:21,419
THE CAJUN
WAS ALL YOUR DOING.
ONLY BECAUSE I KNOCKED
981
00:40:21,487 --> 00:40:23,121
THE CAYENNE PEPPER
INTO YOUR HOLLANDAISE.
982
00:40:23,188 --> 00:40:25,957
HOW DO YOU THINK
THEY INVENTED THE REESE'S CUP
AND PENICILLIN?
983
00:40:26,024 --> 00:40:27,926
WE COULD WIN
THE NOBEL HERE.
984
00:40:29,528 --> 00:40:30,796
MORNING.
YOU'RE UP EARLY.
985
00:40:30,862 --> 00:40:32,864
GOTTA CATCH ME THAT WORM.
WHERE YOU GOING?
986
00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:34,265
SCHOOL.
THIS EARLY?
987
00:40:34,332 --> 00:40:37,235
I GOT A LAB PROJECT.
ME AND MY TEAM ARE MEETING.
988
00:40:37,302 --> 00:40:40,405
WELL, HAVE A GOOD DAY.
IF I HAVE A CHOICE.
989
00:40:40,472 --> 00:40:42,173
HEY.
GOOD MORNING.
990
00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:43,942
TALK TO YOU LATER.
LATER.
991
00:40:44,009 --> 00:40:46,077
BY THE WAY,
YOUR BOYFRIEND SNORES.
992
00:40:46,144 --> 00:40:47,979
DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT.
993
00:40:48,046 --> 00:40:49,180
HELLO?
994
00:40:49,247 --> 00:40:51,883
[ GASPS ]
IT IS?
995
00:40:51,950 --> 00:40:55,053
OH, I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
996
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:56,888
THANKS. WE'RE OPEN.
997
00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:59,124
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CAN
I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE?
998
00:40:59,190 --> 00:41:01,760
THAT WAS CHIEF BAKER
ON THE PHONE, WHO TOLD ME
999
00:41:01,827 --> 00:41:05,030
IN THAT DEEP, SEXY VOICE OF HIS,
THE INN IS OFFICIALLY REOPENED.
1000
00:41:06,698 --> 00:41:08,767
RIGHT NOW, IT'S JUST
ME AND THE STAFFERS,
1001
00:41:08,834 --> 00:41:11,837
BUT SOON, YOU'LL HAVE YOUR STUFF
BACK AND YOU CAN GO HOME.
1002
00:41:11,903 --> 00:41:14,840
THANK YOU, LORELAI.
LISTEN, FROM OUR GROUP,
1003
00:41:14,906 --> 00:41:16,975
WE WANT TO GIVE YOU THIS.
1004
00:41:17,042 --> 00:41:20,646
OH, WELL, THAT'S THE NICEST
DEAD BIRD I'VE EVER GOTTEN.
1005
00:41:20,712 --> 00:41:22,581
THANKS, FRED.
IT'S FROM ALL OF US.
1006
00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:25,316
RIGHT.
THANK YOU, POE SOCIETY.
1007
00:41:25,383 --> 00:41:28,053
COMING, SOOKIE?
I'M COMING.
1008
00:41:28,119 --> 00:41:29,888
OKAY, YOU NEED TO CARAMELIZE
THE HAZELNUTS
1009
00:41:29,955 --> 00:41:31,322
FOR THE BRIOCHE FRENCH TOAST,
1010
00:41:31,389 --> 00:41:33,191
ADD SOME MADEIRA TO
THE PEAR-POACHING LIQUID.
1011
00:41:33,258 --> 00:41:35,426
ADD CHIVES TO THE CREAM
FOR THE SHEARED EGGS.
1012
00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:38,063
DON'T BURN ANYTHING. GOT IT.
I'VE GOTTA CHANGE
FOR SCHOOL.
1013
00:41:38,129 --> 00:41:40,566
GO, GO. WE'LL SEE YOU LATER.
LET'S GO.
1014
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:43,769
AH, HERE THEY ARE.
1015
00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:46,538
HI, MICHEL. HI, CHIEF.
DON'T WE LOVE OUR CHIEF?
1016
00:41:46,605 --> 00:41:48,974
I BET HE CAN BEAT UP
ALL THE OTHER CHIEFS.
1017
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,678
CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS?
LET ME JUST
UNLOCK THE DOOR HERE.
1018
00:41:52,744 --> 00:41:55,113
FIRST THING I WANNA DO
IS GO TO THE ROOMS
1019
00:41:55,180 --> 00:41:57,348
AND GET ALL THE GUESTS' STUFF
INTO THE LOBBY.
1020
00:41:57,415 --> 00:41:59,985
SOOKIE, GO THE KITCHEN
AND LET ME KNOW WHAT'S WHAT.
1021
00:42:00,051 --> 00:42:01,887
MAYBE WE CAN OPEN FOR DINNER.
DINNER?
1022
00:42:01,953 --> 00:42:04,322
YEAH.
ANYONE GIVE YOU A HEADS-UP
ABOUT WHAT'S INSIDE?
1023
00:42:04,389 --> 00:42:06,858
NO.
YOU MIGHT WANNA WAIT
TILL YOU GET INSIDE
1024
00:42:06,925 --> 00:42:10,161
TO MAKE YOUR PLANS.
AND, UH, GO SLOW.
80568
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