All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S03E15 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

AND WE AGREE THAT YOU CAN HOLD
THE ROOMS ON MY CREDIT CARD,

BUT EVERYONE MUST CHECK OUT
WITH THEIR OWN.
GOT IT.

HAVE WE GONE OVER
THE ROOM ARRANGEMENTS YET?

CLOSING IN ON
150 TIMES.

WELL, THE DOOSE CLAN
IS VERY, VERY PARTICULAR

ABOUT THEIR ACCOMMODATIONS.

WE ARE LIGHT SLEEPERS
AND ARE PRONE TO NIGHT TERRORS,

AND SEVERAL OF US ARE
VERY ALLERGIC TO BED CLOTHING,

SO IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT WE ARE --

...ON THE FIRST FLOOR
OR NEAR A FIRE ESCAPE.

YES, TAYLOR, I KNOW.
IT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF.

COULD YOU
HANG ON A SECOND?

OH, ALRIGHT, BUT HURRY.
I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

[ SIGHS ]
FREEZE.

[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO BRING ME A CUP OF COFFEE.

YES, I KNOW. I'M SORRY.
I GOT DISTRACTED.
MY FAULT.

WHEN YOU LEFT ME THERE,
I WAS ALONE, AND NOW, LOOK --

I'M NO LONGER ALONE.
TAYLOR FOUND YOU?

YES, AND WE'VE SINCE EMBARKED ON
HOUR ONE HUNDRED MILLIONTH

PLANNING THE SPECIAL
DOOSE REUNION.

I'M COMING BACK OVER THERE
RIGHT NOW.

YES. AND THEN,
YOU ARE GOING TO GET VERY SICK

AND BE UNABLE EAT YOURSELF
SO THAT I'LL NEED TO

TAKE YOU HOME AND STAY BY YOU
UNTIL THE DOOSE REUNION IS OVER.

OKAY.
OKAY. SAY GOODBYE TO JESS.

BYE, JESS.
I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

OH. LIMP A LITTLE
IF YOU CAN.

UM, WHAT MALADY DO I HAVE
THAT MAKES ME LIMP

AND LOSE THE ABILITY
TO FEED MYSELF?

IT'S FRENCH.
OKAY.

TAYLOR, LISTEN, WE'RE GONNA NEED
TO FINISH THIS UP LATER.

RORY'S NOT FEELING SO GOOD.

OH, NO.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?

IT'S FRENCH.

ALRIGHT. WELL, I THINK WE'RE
JUST ABOUT DONE HERE ANYHOW.

OH! BEFORE I FORGET,

LET ME GIVE YOU EACH
ONE OF THESE.

"STARS HOLLOW HOCKEY --
2003SEMIFINALIST.

"GO MINUTEMEN.
THE FUTURE IS YOURS.

"BRING THIS BUTTON TO DOOSE'S

FOR 50% OFF YOUR NEXT PURCHASE
OF STOVE TOP STUFFING."

THAT'S A LOT OF WORDS
FOR A TINY BUTTON.

I EXPECT TO SEE YOU
WEARING THEM AT THE GAME.

WE'LL TRY TO MAKE IT.
TRY TO MAKE IT?

DO YOU REALIZE THAT
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME

WE'VE BEEN IN THE REGIONAL
SEMIFINALS IN 43 YEARS?

DIDN'T WE ONLY MAKE IT

BECAUSE THE LITCHFIELD TEAM
GOT FOOD POISONING?

I ADMIT IT'S NOT EXACTLY
THE PLOT OF "HOOSIERS,"

BUT STILL IT'S VERY,
VERY EXCITING.

IT'S NICE THAT YOUR FAMILY AND
YOU ARE LOYAL TO THE HOME TEAM.

OH, THE DOOSES
HAVE BEEN THE BACKBONE

OF STARS HOLLOW
HIGH HOCKEY FOR YEARS.

I MYSELF WAS
THE GOALKEEPER FOR OUR TEAM

IN THE LAST
REGIONAL FINALS.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
OH, YES.

I WAS RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE GAME-WINNING GOAL.

THE PUCK RICOCHETED OFF
YOUR HEAD INTO THE NET?

STILL COUNTED.
FOR GOD'S SAKE,
I WAS MAKING A JOKE.

YOU GOT PUCKED
IN THE HEAD?

NO, I WAS
MAKING A JOKE, TOO.

UH, LORELAI,
JUST ONE MORE --

WHAT A DISGRACE.
MAKING THAT POOR SICK GIRL RUN.

WOW.
I CAN SEE THE DENT.

* IF YOU'RE OUT
ON THE ROAD *

* FEELIN' LONELY
AND SO COLD *

* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS CALL MY NAME *

* AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW *

* OH, OH, OH *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANY, ANYWHERE
THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD *

SO, RORY,
HOW ARE THINGS AT CHILTON?

GREAT. GREAT.
EVERYTHING'S GREAT.

AND, LORELAI,
THINGS AT THE INN ARE GOOD?

MMM. MM-HMM.

RORY, PLEASE SLOW DOWN
AND CHEW YOUR FOOD PROPERLY.

I'M ALWAYS TELLING HER THAT.
PASS THE BUTTER.

PASS THE PEAS.
PASS THE PORK.

PASS YOUR PLATE.

IS THERE A RACE GOING
ON I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?

THAT WAS YOUR MOTHER,
RICHARD.

SHE WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT OUR
TOWELS ARE EGYPTIAN COTTON.

WELL, IT'S A SIMPLE QUESTION.

IT'S HER 40th SIMPLE QUESTION
OF THE DAY.

SHE'S GONNA BE
STAYING WITH US.

SHE WANTS TO KNOW
SHE'LL BE COMFORTABLE.

YES. BECAUSE WE USUALLY
GIVE OUR GUESTS

TOWELS STOLEN
FROM HOLIDAY INN.

GREAT-GRANDMA'S COMING
TO STAY WITH YOU?

JUST FOR A FEW DAYS WHILE
HER FLOORS ARE BEING REDONE.

HOW'S GRAN DOING?
SHE MISS LONDON?

NOT HALF AS MUCH
AS ME.
EMILY.

I'VE NEVER
REALLY TRULY APPRECIATED

THE ATLANTIC OCEAN BEFORE.

3,000 LOVELY MILES OF WATER.

YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT MY MOTHER.

I KNOW THAT, RICHARD.
I'M HAPPY TO HAVE HER STAY HERE,

MUST SHE KEEP INTERRUPTING
THE WEEKLY DINNER

THAT WE HAVE WITH LORELAI AND
RORY? SHE KNOWS WHEN WE DINE --

WHY ARE YOU TWO
EATING SO QUICKLY?

WE'RE NOT EATING
QUICKLY.

YOU'VE BEEN ON THE PHONE.

IT PROBABLY JUST SEEMS LIKE
WE'VE EATEN A LOT.

I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE.
EMILY.

WELL, AREN'T WE POPULAR?

RICHARD,
PERHAPS YOU COULD GET THAT

WHILE I HAVE ANOTHER BATH SHEET
vs. BATH TOWEL DEBATE

WITH YOUR MOTHER.
YOU'RE GIVING IT AWAY!

WHAT?!
YOU'RE EATING TOO QUICKLY!

YOU SAID WE HAD TO
LEAVE BY 8:30.

I DIDN'T SAY TO BROADCAST IT!
I'M EATING AS FAST AS YOU.

YOU'RE EATING
SMALL BITES VERY FAST.

EAT BIGGER BITES
AT A NORMAL SPEED!

I SHOULD RISK CHOKING
SO WE CAN MAKE OUR PLANS?
EXACTLY.

[ SIGHS ]
I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.

COLLECTION AGENCY AGAIN?
EXCUSE ME?

THANK GOODNESS SHE CALLED.

RICHARD, DID YOU KNOW
PEOPLE ACTUALLY EXPECT

THERE TO BE SOAP IN THEIR
BATHROOMS WHEN THEY --

WHY ARE THERE STRANGE MEN
HAULING A MATTRESS UP MY
STAIRCASE?

WELL, NOW, EMILY --
SHE SENT HER OWN MATTRESS?

SHE HAS A VERY SENSITIVE BACK.
SHE SENT HER OWN MATTRESS?!

I'LL GO AND SUPERVISE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

MOM, LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE GOT
A LOT GOING ON HERE...

...WITH THE MATTRESSES
AND THE CALLS.

YEAH, SO WE'RE GONNA GO
AND GET OUT OF YOUR HAIR.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

WHAT IS GOING ON
WITH YOU TWO?

[ SCOFFS ] WE --
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT --

BOLTING DOWN YOUR FOOD,
LEAVING BEFORE DESSERT,

RORY CHECKING HER PAGER
EVERY FIVE MINUTES.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE PLANNED?

FINE.

WE'LL JUST SIT HERE UNTIL ONE
OF YOU FEELS LIKE FILLING ME IN.

SHE HAS A DATE!

SO DOES SHE!

HERS STARTS
EARLIER THAN MINE!

BECAUSE YOU CAN
STAY OUT LATER!

BECAUSE I'M THE MOM!

YOU TWO STOP IT RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE BEHAVING LIKE CHILDREN.

SORRY.
YEAH, SORRY.

OUR DEAL IS FOR
FRIDAY-NIGHT DINNERS,

NOT APPEARANCES
AT FRIDAY-NIGHT DINNERS.

YOU'LL SIT THERE,
AND YOU'LL EAT YOUR DESSERT.

BUT --
ONEWORD AND I THROW IN
A GAME OF CHARADES.

YES, MA'AM.
YES, MOM.

OH, WE GOTTA GET
A FASTER CAR!

HEY, DON'T BLAME THE CAR.

YOU'RE SAYING
IT'S MY FAULT?

WHO'S THE ONE WHO SAID,

"I'VE GOT ROOM
FOR ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE."

YOU KEPT MAKING
ALL THAT POINTLESS CONVERSATION,

ALL THOSE "THANK YOUS"
AND "PLEASES."

YOU RUNNING FOR,
MISS CONGENIALITY?

GET READY.
WHAT TIME ARE YOU MEETING JESS?

I'LL TELL YOU IN A SEC.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY BROWN BOOTS?

MY ENTIRE OUTFIT WAS RETROFITTED
AROUND THOSE BROW--

OH, WAIT!
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

THEY WERE IN MY CLOSET.

WHAT SORT OF BIZARRE ACCIDENT
OF FATE PUT THEM THERE?

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

WHAT?
HE DIDN'T CALL?

MAYBE IT'S TOO EARLY.
WHAT TIME IS IT?

9:15.
WHEN DID HE SAY HE'D CALL?

WHEN HE FINISHED WORK.
WHICH WAS WHEN?

IT VARIES.
I THOUGHT
YOU HAD A PLAN.

WE DID.
AND THE PLAN WAS THAT
HE CALLS YOU WHENEVER?

YES.
GOOD PLAN. BAY OF PIGS --
WAS THAT YOURS, TOO?

HE'LL CALL.
HEY, LOOK, YOU WANNA
COME OUT WITH ME AND ALEX?

WE MIGHT GO SEE
A MIDNIGHT MOVIE

IF SOMETHING BAD IS PLAYING.
NO THANKS.

PROMISE ME YOU WON'T SIT HERE
ALL NIGHT STARING AT THE PHONE.

HAPPY?
DELIRIOUS.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD
THAT SECOND PIECE.

FULL?
NO, JUST LATE.

BRING ME SOME MILK DUDS.

IT'S A PLAN.

THEN I SPENT ABOUT 40 MINUTES
CLEANING OUT MY HARD DRIVE.

YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE AMOUNT
OF JUNK THAT ACCUMULATES --

OLD FILES, THINGS YOU'VE
DOWNLOADED BUT NEVER OPENED.

IT REALLY SLOWS DOWN
YOUR CPU.

OH, YEAH.
I HATE A SLOW CPU.

THEN, ALL OF A SUDDEN,
I LOOKED DOWN

AND I SAW ALL THIS HAIR AND DUST
BETWEEN THE KEYS OF MY KEYBOARD.

NATURALLY,
YOU CLEANED YOUR KEYBOARD.

YES, AND I'LL TELL YOU,

IT WAS A STRANGELY
SATISFYING EXPERIENCE.

UH-HUH.
ONE QUESTION.

DURING THIS TIME THAT YOU
WATCHED TV, DID HOMEWORK,

PROOFREAD ARTICLES
FOR THE FRANKLIN,

ORGANIZED MY SOCK DRAWER,
RETURNED E-MAILS,

GAVE A NEEDED
CLEANING TO YOUR COMPUTER,

DID IT OCCUR TO YOU
TO CALL HIM?

NO.
WHY?

BECAUSE HE SAID
HE'D CALL ME.

THEN I'M GUESSING YOU'RE NOT
GONNA MENTION ANYTHING TO HIM

ABOUT YOUR EXTREMELY PRODUCTIVE
EVENING ALONE WHEN YOU SEE HIM.

WHY SHOULD I?

NO REASON I CAN THINK OF.

YOU KNOW, I ALMOST LIKE IT
BETTER LIKE THIS.

IT IS MORE FESTIVE.

GOOD LUCK TONIGHT.

WHEN DEAN SAID HE'D CALL,
HE ALWAYS CALLED,

BUT WHERE'S
THE FUN IN THAT?

OH, HONEY, DON'T DO THAT.
DO WHAT?

COMPARE DEAN AND JESS.
THAT'S NOT FAIR.

THEY'RE DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

ONE CALLS WHEN HE SAYS HE WILL,
AND ONE DOESN'T.

FOR STARTERS, I THINK YOU
HAVE TO REALIZE SOMETHING.

YOU WERE
REALLY LUCKY WITH DEAN.

HE WAS AN EXCEPTIONAL FIRST
BOYFRIEND, AND YOU GOT SPOILED.

MOST OF US DIDN'T HAVE
FIRST BOYFRIENDS LIKE DEAN.

MOST OF US HAD FIRST BOYFRIENDS
LIKE BRIAN HUTCHINS.

BRIAN HUTCHINS?

7th GRADE,
I WAS SITTING IN THE LIBRARY.

WALKS UP,
ASKS ME TO GO STEADY.

I SAY YES.
HE WALKS AWAY,

I DON'T SEE HIM AGAIN
UNTIL THE 10th GRADE,

WHEN HE TRIES TO SELL ME
A DIME BAG

AT THE SADIE HAWKINS DAY DANCE.
HE WAS OVER-CHARGING FOR IT.

THAT'S DEMENTED.
THAT'S WHAT MOST OF US
HAD TO PUT UP WITH.

WHERE DO YOU THINK THE SUSAN
FALUDIS OF THE WORLD CAME FROM?

YOU'RE SAYING
THIS IS THE WAY,

JESS WON'T CALL
WHEN HE SAYS HE WILL.

I'M SAYING YOU HAVE TO REALIZE
THAT EVERY GUY IS DIFFERENT.

GIVE JESS A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN.

OKAY.

JESS.

HEY. THAT TABLE'S CLEAN
IF YOU WANT IT.

I HOPE THAT CLEARED IT UP.
NOT A WORD.

NOT EVEN A LAME-O APOLOGY
THAT IS OBVIOUSLY A LIE.

YEAH, HOW DARE HE
NOT LIE TO YOU?

FINALLY. TWO PEOPLE THAT DON'T
GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HOCKEY.

OOH. SOMEONE'S TESTY.

LOOK AT THESE DIPPY PEOPLE WITH
THEIR BUTTONS AND PENNANTS.

YOU'D THINK THE TOWN'S NEVER
BEEN IN A PLAYOFF BEFORE.

HASN'T IT BEEN 40 YEARS?
FOR THE HOCKEY TEAM.

WHEN I WAS ON THE TRACK TEAM,
WE WON TWICE AT STATE.

YOU THINK THEY MADE BUTTONS,
PUT UP BANNERS?

THEY COULDN'T HAVE CARED LESS.

LUKE, THAT'S BECAUSE
TRACK IS FOR DORKS.

YEAH, IT'S TRUE.
I'M SORRY.

OKAY, THE CONVERSING PART OF
THIS MORNING IS NOW OVER.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?
JACK OMELET,
BACON ON THE SIDE.

THREE BLUEBERRY AND TWO
LEMON POPPY SEED MUFFINS TO GO.

LANE'S BAND'S REHEARSING AT
HOME. I WANTED TO BRING THEM
SOMETHING.

YOU GOT THAT, JESS?
YEP.

BE RIGHT BACK.

FIVE MUFFINS TO GO.

THANK YOU.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

YOU GUYS
IN A FIGHT OR SOMETHING?

YOU ARE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

LAST NIGHT,
DIDN'T YOU GUYS HAVE PLANS?

I JUST SAID
I'D CALL HER AFTER WORK.
AND DID YOU?

I DIDN'T GET OFF UNTIL MIDNIGHT.
IT WAS LATE TO CALL.

YOU COULDN'T HAVE TAKEN
TWO SECONDS TO CALL HER?

NO.
REALLY?
YOU DON'T GET BREAKS?

DO YOU GET FOOD, WATER?
SHOULD I PHONE MICHAEL MOORE?

WHATEVER.
I GOTTA UNLOAD SOME BOXES.

NICE TALKING TO YOU.

I KNEW ONCE MOM FOUND OUT DAVE
WAS PART OF A CHRISTIANTRIO,

IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME
BEFORE SHE BOOKED HIM.

YOUR MOM'S GONNA
GET TO KNOW THE WHOLE BAND.

NOT JUST KNOW THEM,
BUT LOVE THEM LIKE DAVE.

YOUR MOM LOVES DAVE?

SHE SAID HE'S
A RIGHTEOUS YOUNG MAN

WHO'S PROVEN HE CAN BE TRUSTED
AROUND ANTIQUE FURNITURE.

IN HER BOOK,
THAT'S PRETTY CLOSE TO LOVE.
OH, SURE.

[ STRUMMING GUITARS ]

* A MIGHTY FORTRESS
IS OUR GOD *

* A BULWARK NEVER FAILING *

DUDE, WHAT'S A BULWARK?

WHAT?

IT SAYS
"A BULWARK NEVER FAILING."

I THINK IT'S A WALL.

WHY DON'T THEY JUST SAY THAT?
BULWARK SOUNDS TOTALLY GAY.

YOU SHOULDN'T CALL A HYMN "GAY."
IT'S LIKE A SIN OR SOMETHING.

WHATEVER, MAN.
I'M NOT SAYING "BULWARK."

SO, DAVE,
LANE GETS TO JUST SIT BACK

WATCH YOU GUYS PLAY TONIGHT?
YOU'RE LIKE A GROUPIE.

ACTUALLY,
SHE'S GOT A DATE.

WHAT?
YOUNG CHUI, THE GUY
MY MOM INTRODUCED ME TO?

SHE ARRANGED FOR HIM TO TAKE ME
TO THE HOCKEY GAME.

IT'S THE FIRST OF THREE.
THE FIRST OF THREE.

THEN HE'S GONNA DUMP HER.

YES. AND I'LL BE CRUSHED,

MAKING MY MOM FEEL GUILTY
ABOUT SETTING ME UP

SHE'LL LET ME
GO OUT WITH DAVE.

I CAME UP WITH THAT.
DAVE HAS A NATURAL GIFT.

WOW. A COMPLIMENT
FROM THE MASTER.

THANKS.

I WOULD'VE THOUGHT OF IT,
I LET HIM TAKE CREDIT.

MEN SOMETIMES NEED THAT.

I'M TELLING YOU, DUDE,
IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

STOP YELLING AT ME.
I DIDN'T WRITE IT.

WHOA. WHOA.
UH, WHAT'S WRONG?

THIS STUPID SONG, MAN.

"FOR STILL OUR ANCIENT FOE
DOTH SEEK TO WORK US WOE."

WHO TALKS LIKE THAT, THE POPE?
ANY OF THOSE LEMON POPPY SEED?

CAN'T YOU JUST
UPDATE IT?

SURE. TELL ME
WHAT THE HELL IT MEANS.

IT'S IN LATIN OR SOMETHING.
I THOUGHT THERE'D
BE COFFEE, TOO.

DUDE, CAN YOU CHILL OUT
ABOUT YOUR FREAKIN' 11Cs

TILL THIS SONG'S
STRAIGHTENED OUT?
I'M HYPOGLYCEMIC.

IF I DON'T EAT SOMETHING,
I'LL CRASH.
IS "ABI-DETH" A WORD?

HOW WILL YOU MAKE YOUNG CHUI
DUMP YOU, BE A REALLY BAD DATE?

WE'VE ALREADY
TALKED TO HIM.

HE'S TOTALLY ON BOARD.
REALLY?

HE LOVES THIS
JAPANESE GIRL NAMED KAREN

WHO HIS PARENTS DON'T APPROVE
OF, HE SEES HER SECRETLY

WHILE HIS PARENTS SET
HIM UP WITH KOREAN GIRLS.

HE USED TO MAIL ME.
GOTCHA

YOU AND JESS SHOULD COME
WITH US TO THE GAME.

I'M NOT SURE
WHAT WE'RE DOING TONIGHT.

* A MIGHTY FORTRESS
IS OUR GOD *

* A WALL 10 STORIES HIGH *

* AND HE HELPS US
WHEN THINGS GET BAD *

* AND THE DEVIL
TRIES TO HURT US *

WHAT HYMN IS THAT?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

IF, FOR SOME REASON, YOU SHOULD
GET SEPARATED FROM THE GROUP,

YOU'LL FIND A MAP ON THE THIRD
PAGE OF YOUR WELCOME PACKET.

WHY DID YOU
DRAW YOUR STORE SO BIG?

MAKES IT EASIER TO FIND
IF YOU GET LOST.

IT'S BIGGER THAN
THE SCHOOL.

WHY DID YOU PUT THOSE "P"s
IN "SODA SHOPPE"?

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FANCY?

YOU ARE IN ROOM 12,
AND YOUR FATHER IS --

YOU'RE FROM FRANCE?

EXCUSE ME?
YOU TALK FUNNY. YOU FROM FRANCE?

YES. SO, AS I WAS SAYING --

I WAS IN FRANCE
DURING THE BIG ONE.

OH, THAT'S NICE. SO --

NICE?! IT WAS A WAR.
WHAT'S NICE ABOUT THAT?

OF COURSE.
SO, YOUR FATHER --

DON'T GIVE ME THAT ATTITUDE,
FRENCHY.

YOU'D BE SPEAKING GERMAN NOW
IF IT WASN'T FOR ME.

SEE THAT THE VANS ARE BACK AT
3:45 TO TAKE 'EM TO THE GAME.

LORELAI, JUST A SECOND.
I WANTED TO --

HOLD ON THERE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT'S THIS?

THAT'S THE ITINERARY
I WORKED OUT.

I THOUGHT
LORELAI COULD POST IT

IN CASE SOME OF THE INN'S
OTHER GUESTS WANTED TO JOIN US.

LORELAI, THIS IS
MY OLDER BROTHER DOUG.

DOUG, THIS IS LORELAI.

HELLO.
NICE TO MEET YOU.

I TOLD YOU ON THE PHONE NO ONE
WILL WANNA DO ANY OF THIS.

"A TOUR OF STARS HOLLOW"?
MOST OF US WERE BORN HERE!

WHAT DO WE NEED A TOUR FOR?
EVERYONE, LISTEN UP.

WE'RE MEETING HERE
IN TWO HOURS FOR THE VANS.

YOU'RE LATE,
YOU'RE WALKING.

GO BACK TO YOUR STORE
AND COUNT PEACHES OR SOMETHING.

I'M TAKING A NAP.

LORELAI, HELLO.

MOM?
YOU REMEMBER. I'M SO TOUCHED.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I WAS THINKING ABOUT

POSSIBLY HAVING
OUR NEXT DAR LUNCHEON HERE.

REALLY?
THAT'S RIGHT.

I THOUGHT I'D STOP BY
AND MAKE SURE THE PLACE

IS AS CHARMING
AS I REMEMBER. IT IS.

OKAY, WELL, WHAT DAY WOULD YOU
LIKE TO HAVE THE MEETING?

THE 15th.

15th...

UM. WELL,
THE 15th LOOKS WIDE OPEN,

SO YOU'RE OFFICIALLY
DOWN FOR THE 15th.
WONDERFUL.

OKAY.
OKAY.

SO...
SO...

HOW IS MICHEL?

MICHEL'S FINE.

WELL, GOOD.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.

WELL, I'M GLAD TO TELL IT.

MOM, I HAVE THIS REALLY BIG
FAMILY-REUNION PARTY

THAT INVADED THE PLACE,
I SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK.

YES, YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD.
DO NOT LET ME KEEP YOU.

MOM?

I'M NOT ALLOWED
TO GO HOME.
WHAT?

SHE'S BANISHED ME
FROM MY OWN HOUSE.

GRAN?
SHE'S GONE MAD.

THIS MORNING SHE ANNOUNCES
THAT SHE'S HOSTING

A MEETING OF HER
BITTER OLD BIDDIES CLUB TONIGHT,

SHE NEEDS
THE ENTIRE DAY TO PREPARE

BECAUSE THE HOUSE
IS IN SHAMBLES.
NICE. SUBTLE.

I WAS HANDED
A LIST OF CHORES

AND ASKED NOT TO COME HOME
UNTIL AT LEAST 6:00.

SHE'S ONLY STAYING
WITH YOU FOR A FEW DAYS.

I GOTTA BUY FLOWERS. SHE DOESN'T
LIKE MINE. THEY'RE TOO TALL.

"IT'S OSTENTATIOUS TO HAVE
FLOWERS THAT TALL."

I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO MENTION THAT.

I GOTTA GET
NEW GUEST TOWELS,

NEW HIGHBALL GLASSES. FOUR VERY
SPECIFIC TYPES OF CHEESE,

AND I HAVE TO FIND
A SLIDE PROJECTOR

BECAUSE THEY'RE
GONNA VIEW SLIDES

OF POTENTIAL ACQUISITIONS
FOR THE MUSEUM.

OKAY. MOM.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE
TO FIND THE PROJECTOR.

I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING INSANE.
MOM.

I'M SORRY.

I THINK I'M JUST
A LITTLE SENSITIVE RIGHT NOW.

IT'S SELFISH, I KNOW,

BUT RICHARD'S TRAVELING
MORE THAN HE EVER DID.

HE'S BEEN GONE THREE
OF THE LAST FOUR WEEKS,

NOW HE'S FINALLY HOME,
AND SHE'S THERE,

COMMANDING ALL OF HIS ATTENTION,
ALL OF HIS TIME.

I SOUND LIKE A SPOILED
HIGH-SCHOOL GIRL.

YOU STILL HAVEN'T ASKED FOR
THE GLORIA VANDERBILT JEANS

AND THE CONVERTIBLE RABBIT.

NEVER MIND.
I'M SORRY I KEPT YOU.

I HAVE A SLIDE PROJECTOR. I'D BE
HAPPY TO BRING IT OVER TONIGHT.

OH, I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS,
LORELAI.

I MEAN IT.
I COULDN'T BE MORE GRATEFUL.

HOLD ON.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I WANNA GET A TAPE RECORDER.
I WANT THAT ON TAPE.

LORELAI.
JUST REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID.

YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED --
WATER, EXTENSION CORDS?

YES, MA'AM,
I THINK WE'RE GOOD.

WHERE'S YOUR TAMBOURINE?

UM, WE DON'T HAVE ONE.

NEXT TIME, BRING ONE.

DUDE, REMEMBER
THE DRILL INSTRUCTOR

IN "FULL METAL JACKET"?

TOTALLY.

GOOD EVENING.
AH, YOUNG CHUI, COME IN.

LANE, LOOK,
YOUNG CHUI IS HERE.

HI!
HI! THESE ARE FOR YOU.

THANK YOU. THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.
ISN'T THAT NICE OF HIM, MAMA?

YES, VERY THOUGHTFUL.
STAND TOGETHER NOW.

DON'T SMILE.

VERY NICE. THAT ONE
IS FOR THE GRANDCHILDREN.

WE BETTER GO.
WE DON'T WANNA BE LATE.

I'LL PUT THESE IN A VASE
FOR YOUR BEDSIDE TABLE.

NOW, GO HAVE FUN.
WE'LL BE HOME BY 9:00.

AH, YES. WHATEVER.
GO. GO!

Sookie: OH, THANK GOODNESS
YOU HAVEN'T LEFT.

EMILY CALLED AND ASKED IF YOU
COULD BRING SOME SERVING DISHES.

APPARENTLY HERS ARE TACKY.

MY GRAN IS A RELENTLESS
OLD BROAD, ISN'T SHE?

YOU WANT THEM WHERE?
JUST ON THE COUNTER'S FINE.
THANKS, HON.

Rory: Hello?

RORY?
MOM.

What are you doing there?

[ SIGHS ]
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I LIVE HERE, REMEMBER?
WHO WERE YOU EXPECTING TO FIND?

I WAS CALLING TO CHECK MESSAGES
AND SEE IF MOM CALLED.

WELL, SHE HASN'T.
NO ONE HAS.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
THE PHONE'S RUNG.

AHH.
What, ahh?

OKAY, GET OUT.
Excuse me?

OUT OF THE HOUSE.

WHY?
Why?

LOOK AT THE CLOCK.
WHAT DOES IT SAY?

IT SAYS 6:00.
SO, IT IS 6:00
ON A SATURDAY NIGHT,

WHICH MEANS YOU'VE
SPENT A DAY AND A NIGHT

WAITING FOR HIM TO CALL.
I KNOW.

THAT'S NOT GOOD, KID.

LOOK,
LET'S SAY HE DOES CALL.

YOU CAN'T BE THE KIND
THAT GETS MAD IN HER HEAD,

THEN FORGETS EVERYTHING ONCE
HE DEIGNS TO SHOW UP, RIGHT?

YEAH.

Okay,
so don't just sit there waiting.

GO OUT, DO SOMETHING.
LIKE WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW,
WHAT'S LANE DOING TONIGHT?

SHE'S GOING TO THE HOCKEY GAME
WITH HER FAKE BOYFRIEND.

Perfect.
PERFECT?

IT'S A HOCKEY GAME.
IT'LL BE FUN.

THERE WILL BE CHEERLEADERS,
CLOWNS, PEOPLE DOING THE WAVE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT A HOCKEY GAME IS, DO YOU?

PUT ON A JACKET AND GET OUT,
AND IF HE CALLS --

WHO CARES?!
That's my girl!

THANKS, MOM!

OH, MY.

Babette and Miss Patty:
* ...RED GLARE *

* THE BOMBS
BURSTING IN AIR *

* GAVE PROOF
THROUGH THE NIGHT *

* THAT OUR FLAG
WAS STILL THERE *

* O SAY, DOES THAT
STAR-SPANGLED *

* BANNER YET WAVE *

* O'ER THE LAND OF THE
FREE-E-E-E-E *

* AND THE HOME
OF THE BRAVE? *

ALRIGHT, MINUTEMEN!
GO GET THEM, BOYS!

HEY.
RORY.

IT'S COLD IN HERE.
IT'S THE ICE.

OH, MY GOD. THERE REALLY IS ICE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M HOCKEYING.
THAT'S NOT A WORD.

WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

THERE WAS A MONSTER-TRUCK
SHOWIN WOODBURY.

PULLS A LOT OF
THE SAME DEMOGRAPHIC. SIT.

WHERE'S JESS?
DON'T KNOW, DON'T CARE.

REALLY?
I'M A FREE WOMAN TONIGHT.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

EVERYTHING'S FINE.
YOU SURE?

ABSOLUTELY.

I WANTED TO SEE
SOME GOOD HOCKEY PLAYING.

UH-HUH.

REALLY.
IS THAT YOUNG CHUI?

THE GUY WITH THE CELLPHONE
STAPLED TO HIS EAR?
YEAH.

HE LOOKS KIND OF SERIOUS.

HE'S TALKING TO KAREN.
HIS REAL GIRLFRIEND?

SHE'S NOT AS COOL AS DAVE
ABOUT THE FAKE-DATING THING.

SHE NEEDS REASSURANCE.
WELL, DAVE IS PRETTY COOL.

THE COOLEST, ISN'T HE?
BESIDES JESS.

RIGHT.

RIGHT.

[ SIGHS ]

PEOPLE OF STARS HOLLOW
ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?

THEN LET'S GET IT ON!

AND THE PUCK IS DOWN
AS THE FIRST QUARTER BEGINS.

PERIOD -- SORRY,
FIRST PERIOD BEGINS. MY BAD.

SO, THIS IS SPORTS?

* I ONCE WAS LOST,
BUT NOW AM FOUND *

* WAS BLIND,
BUT NOW I SEE *

* A-A-A-AMEN *
* A-A-A-AMEN * * A-A-A-AMEN *

VERY NICE.

YOU MAY NOW TAKE A 15-MINUTE
BREAK WHILE WE FINISH OUR TEA.

ALSO GOOD TIME TO RETUNE.

WAS SHE LOOKING AT ME?
SHE WASN'T LOOKING AT ME, DUDE.

HEY, I'M GONNA GO OUTSIDE
AND GET SOME AIR, OKAY?

UH, SURE.

OKAY, BE RIGHT BACK.

BELIEVE ME, I'M NOT INTERESTED
IN YOUNG CHUI IN THAT WAY.

HE'S CUTE AND ALL,
BUT I'VE GOT A GUY.

NO, WHEN I SAY HE'S CUTE,
I JUST MEAN HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND,

AND YOU'VE GOT GOOD TASTE,
THAT'S ALL.

HEY! KOREANS
DO NOT HAVE PROBLEMS.

YOU TALK TO HER.
I'M DONE.

KAREN?
THAT WENT WELL.

HEY, LINDSAY, HOW ARE YOU?
HI, LINDSAY.

HI. I'M GOOD, THANKS.
UM, HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD. YOU KNOW, JUST ENJOYING
MY FIRST HOCKEY GAME.

THERE'S LOTS OF BASHING PEOPLE,
WHICH IS ALWAYS GOOD FUN.

OH, ABSOLUTELY.
I'M ALL FOR MORE BASHING.

WE HAVEN'T MET SINCE I LEFT
SCHOOL. WHAT'VE YOU BEEN UP TO?

OH, YOU KNOW, NOTHING REALLY.
THE USUAL. SCHOOL.
[ CHUCKLES ]

RIGHT. SURE.

SCHOOL. ME, TOO,YOU KNOW THAT,
SINCE WE GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.

I SHOULD BE
GETTING BACK.

IT WAS GOOD
SEEING YOU AGAIN.
YOU TOO.

BYE.

OKAY, SO THAT WAS WEIRD, RIGHT?
OH, YEAH. WAY WEIRD.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, DID I?
LIKE ASK HER HOW SHE WAS?

YOU PROBABLY
MADE AN ENEMY FOR LIFE.

MAYBE SHE'S ANGRY
BECAUSE I LOST TOUCH

BUT WE WEREN'T
THAT GOOD FRIENDS.

MAYBE, OR IT COULD BE
THAT CHILTON THING.
WHAT CHILTON THING?

SOME PEOPLE THINK BECAUSE YOU
WENT TO CHILTON, YOU'RE A SNOB.

AND THINK YOU'RE
BETTER THAN OTHERS.
WHAT? WHO THINKS THAT?

YOU KNOW LIKE, JULIE MYRSTEN,
KRISTEN KEIFER, JILL ALLEN.

HAVEN'T WE TALKED ABOUT THIS?
NO.

HEY!
DAVE!

HEY, RORY.
HEY.

SO, WHERE'S YOUNG CHUI?

TALKING TO KAREN.

WHO?
HIS GIRLFRIEND.

OH, RIGHT. THAT'S COOL.
OKAY. WELL, HOW'S THE GAME?

THE OTHER TEAM'S WINNING.

BUT OUR FANS HAVE THE BEST
INSULTS -- BABETTE DOES.

WELL, THAT'S REALLY
WHAT COUNTS IN THE END.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOUR MOM GAVE US A BREAK.
I THOUGHT I'D SWING BY.

T'S MORE THAN
A MILE AWAY.

I BETTER GET BACK.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

BYE.
WELL, WELL, WELL.

I'D SAY SOMEONE ISN'T QUITE
AS COOL AS WE THOUGHT HE WAS.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
HE'S JEALOUS!

OH, MY GOD!
HE'S JEALOUS. THAT'S SO GREAT.

YOU'VE WORKED YOUR WOMANLY WILES
ON HIM, LANE KIM.

I'VE NEVER MADE A GUY JEALOUS.
I FEEL POWERFUL.

JUST REMEMBER, THERE'S CUTE
JEALOUS AND THERE'S OTHELLO.

GOOD POINT.

SO, WHO ELSE
THINKS I'M A SNOB?

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

[ GROANS ]

JESS.
HEY, IS RORY HERE?

ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YEAH, I'M SERIOUS.

I'M SERIOUS. ARE YOU SERIOUS?
WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME THAT?

I'M JUST TRYING TO IMAGINE
THE SCENARIO HERE.

THE CLOCK SAID IT WAS 7:30
ON A SATURDAY NIGHT,

AND YOU THOUGHT,
"HEY, RORY MUST BE HOME."

YES.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

THIS IS YOUR WAY OF SAYING
SHE'S NOT HOME.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS?
THE HOCKEY GAME.

YOU DON'T WANNA
TELL ME WHERE, FINE.

JESS, SHE REALLY IS
AT THE HOCKEY GAME.

YOU'D KNOW, IF YOU'D,
WHAT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

THAT'S RIGHT, BOTHERED TO CALL.
WHY ARE YOU HASSLING ME?

WELL, MOSTLY BECAUSE
I'M HERE TO HASSLE YOU.

IF YOU'D HAVE CALLED, MAYBE RORY
WOULD BE HERE TO HASSLE YOU.

RORY KNOWS I DON'T
LIVE BY A SCHEDULE.

YES, AND LOOK WHAT NOT LIVING
BY A SCHEDULE DOES TO SOMEONE

ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. TALKING TO
HIS GIRLFRIEND'S MOTHER.

WHATEVER.
HEY, JESS,

YOU LIKE MUSIC, RIGHT?
THE BEACH BOYS SAID IT BEST --

"NO GUYS GO STEADY,
IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT

TO LEAVE THEIR BEST GIRLS HOME
ON A SATURDAY NIGHT."

RORY IS ONE OF THE BEST GIRL,
IF YOU WANT MY OPINION,

YOU DON'T SEEM TO KNOW
HOW SHE SHOULD BE TREATED.

I'VE GOT YOU TO TELL ME.
NOT ANYMORE.

WE'VE DISCUSSED YOUR
RELATIONSHIP WITH RORY
LONG ENOUGH.

FINE.
I'LL TELL HER YOU STOPPED BY.

DON'T BOTHER.

BRIAN HUTCHINS IS LOOKING
PRETTY GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

HAD I KNOWN SPORTS WAS ABOUT
EATING, I'D HAVE COME TO MORE.

THERE'S SOMETHING SATISFYING
ABOUT WATCHING PEOPLE

EXERCISE WHILE YOU JUNK EAT.

Kirk: TWO MINUTES TILL THE NEXT
PERIOD, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THAT'S WHAT WE CALL THEM IN
HOCKEY -- PERIODS, NOT HALVES.

LET'S TRY TO KEEP THAT STRAIGHT.

THE PUCK IS
NEVER REFERRED TO AS A "BALL,"

NOT ACCORDING TO THE BOOK.
AGAIN, MY BAD.

I GUESS IT WASN'T
THE CHILTON THING AFTER ALL.

NUMBER 12 HAS IT NOW.
HE'S SKATING. HE'S SKATING.

MY BET IS HE'S GOING TO TRY TO
WHACK IT INTO THAT NET

IT'S GOING THE OTHER WAY,
THEY'RE HITTING IT BETWEEN THEM.

NUMBER 7 HAS IT, NOW NUMBER 3.

NOW 7. 3 AGAIN.

7. 10's GOT IT NOW.

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW,
SOME OF THE GUYS --

NOT ME, YOU KNOW --
SAY THEY'RE GONNA

RIP YOUR HEAD OFF
IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, OKAY?

WE'LL BE PAUSING
FOR A SHORT BREAK.

Crowd: WE'VE GOT SPIRIT,
YES, WE DO,

WE'VE GOT SPIRIT,
HOW 'BOUT YOU?

YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY?
WILL YOU STOP ASKING ME
THAT EVERY 5 SECONDS?

I'M FINE.

I MEAN,
IT HAD TO HAPPEN SOMETIME.

I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO JUST SIT
AROUND PINING FOR ME.

OKAY, A LITTLE.
BUT SHE'S REALLY NICE, RIGHT?

THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.
LANE.

I LET YOU DOWN. I'M SUPPOSED TO
BE YOUR EYESAND EARS IN SCHOOL,

HERE'S THE BIGGEST NEWS,
I HAD NO IDEA.

IT'S OKAY.
NO, IT'S NOT.

THIS IS AN INTELLIGENCE GAFFE
OF MONUMENTAL PROPORTIONS.

WHAT WAS I DOING TO MISS THIS?

STUDYING, TAKING CLASSES.
WELL, NO MORE.

LANE, IT'S NOT
A BIG DEAL. REALLY.

AND NOW I KNOW,
SO CASE CLOSED.

YOU SURE?
POSITIVE.

LET'S JUST ENJOY THE GAME.

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?

EXCUSE ME, NUMBER 14?

NUMBER 14, COULD YOU
COME BACK HERE?

HI. I JUST CAME
TO DROP OFF SOME THINGS.

I CAN TAKE THOSE.
OH, GREAT. THANKS.
CAREFUL, IT'S HEAVY.

EVERYONE'S IN THE LIVING ROOM
IF YOU WANNA GO IN.

IF I WANT TO GO IN.

YOU POSE A VERY DEEP AND
PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION THERE,

BUT I THINK I'LL JUST --
LORELAI.

I THOUGHT I HEARD YOUR VOICE.
YES. I BROUGHT THE SLIDE MACHINE

AND THE PLATTERS
AND THE PUNCH BOWL.

WONDERFUL. COME IN
AND MEET EVERYONE, WON'T YOU?

I WAS JUST GONNA DO THAT.

IT'S OBSCENE!
IT'S PICASSO.

THEN PICASSO IS OBSCENE!

OH, ISABELLE.

IT HAS SIX BREASTS!

YOU CANNOT BE SURE
IF THOSE ARE BREASTS.

THEY COULD BE CANNONS.

HE WAS QUITE OBSESSED WITH THE
SPANISH CIVIL WAR FOR A WHILE.

LADIES, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
LORELAI, WONDERFUL.

WE ALL NEED A BREAK
FOR A MOMENT.

COME MEET MY FRIENDS.

EMILY, WE WERE WAITING
FOR ICED TEA,

OR AM I IMAGINING THINGS?

IT'S ON ITS WAY, MOM.

SO IS DEATH.

[ CHUCKLES ]
LORELAI, THIS IS MRS. VAN WYCK,

MRS. DEERBORNE,
MRS. RUTHERMAN.

THIS IS MY GRANDDAUGHTER,
LORELAI.

NICE TO MEET YOU ALL.
WELL, COME, SIT.

I DON'T WANT TO
INTERRUPT ANYTHING.

YOU'RE INTERRUPTING
NOTHING BUT THIRST, MY DEAR.

TALK TO SOME OLD WOMEN. TELL US
WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE YOUNG.

NOT NEARLY AS MUCH FUN SINCE
THE MANDATORY SUNSCREEN RULE,
I'LL TELL YOU.

HERE WE GO.
ICED TEA AND SANDWICHES.

TOO WARM.

DO YOU KNOW
THAT LORELAI'S DAUGHTER

IS GRADUATING
FROM CHILTON IN JUNE?

* LOVE IN THE AFTERNOON *

SHE IS AN EXCELLENT STUDENT.

* LA-LA-LA *

EMILY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M SORRY?
WHY ARE YOU SINGING LIKE THAT?

WAS I SINGING?
I DIDN'T REALIZE.

HERE'S YOUR TEA, MOM. I
CERTAINLY HOPE IT'S COLD ENOUGH.

I BROUGHT
THE SLIDE PROJECTOR OVER.

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SET IT UP?
THAT'DBE FINE.

WE CAN START WATCHING NOW,
SINCE I DO NOT ANTICIPATE

DINNER BEING SERVED ANYWHERE
NEAR THE TIME I REQUESTED.

* HEARTS ARE FILLED
WITH JOY *

EMILY,
YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN.

I WAS?
YES, YOU WERE.

HUH.

YOU KNOW,
IT'S BECAUSE I CAUGHT SOME OF

"LOVE IN THE AFTERNOON"
THE OTHER DAY -- THE MOVIE?

HAVE YOU SEEN IT, MOM?
I DON'T BELIEVE I HAVE.

OH, WELL, IT'S WONDERFUL.

AND A WONDERFUL CONCEPT, TOO,
DON'T YOU THINK?

ANYWAY, I MUST HAVE
THE MUSIC STUCK IN MY HEAD.

THAT MUST BE
WHY I'M SINGING IT.

I MEAN, WHAT ELSE
COULD IT BE, HMM?

HEY, MOM,
HOW ABOUT WE GO GET

SOME OF THAT CHEESE
YOU BOUGHT FOR THE LADIES, HUH?

I'LL HELP YOU. COME ON.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OKAY, WHAT IS GOING ON?

I SAW HER KISSING A MAN.
WHAT?

WHEN I CAME HOME TODAY,

I SAW HER STANDING IN
THE LIVING ROOM, KISSING A MAN.

GRAN?
YES!

MY GRAN?
YES!

MY GRAN WAS KISSING A MAN?
IN A PURPLE VELOUR JOGGING SUIT.

GRAN WAS IN A JOGGING SUIT?

THE MAN WAS WEARING
A PURPLE JOGGING SUIT.

AND YOU'RE SURE
THEY WERE KISSING?
100% SURE.

OH, MY GOD. WAS HE HOT?
EXCUSE ME?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO ASK WHEN
YOU HEAR YOUR GRANDMOTHERS
MAKING OUT!

I DON'T KNOW IF HE WAS.
YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FACE
WAS BLOCKING MY VIEW.

DID SHE SEE YOU?
NO.

AFTER MY HEART
STARTED BACK UP AGAIN,

I WENT OUTSIDE
AND HID IN THE BUSHES.

I'VE TWO REALLY GOOD VISUALS
FIGHTING FOR TOP BILLING HERE!

DO YOU REALIZE
HOW WONDERFUL THIS IS?

I GUESS IT'S WONDERFUL
GRAN HAS A GUY.

NO! WHAT'S WONDERFUL IS AFTER
ALL THESE YEARS

OF HER ABUSE,
HER CONDESCENSION,

HER INSULTS
AND DEGRADING COMMENTS,

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF PURE,
UNADULTERATED HELL,

I FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING
TO HOLD OVER HER!

OH, MOM.
FINALLY, I HAVE THE UPPER HAND.

I HAVE SOMETHING TO NAIL HER
WITH. THAT WOMAN IS GOING DOWN!

YOU CAN'T USE THIS
AGAINST GRAN.

I CAN.
I'VE EARNED IT.

MOM, I KNOW GRAN
GIVES YOU A HARD TIME,

BUT SHE DIDN'T TELL ANYONE
ABOUT HIM FOR A REASON.

YES, BECAUSE SHE'S EMBARRASSED.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A BOOKIE.

YOU HAVE TO BE ABOVE THIS.
NO, I DON'T.

YOU'RE SAYING
THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE

TO GO OUT THERE
AND HUMILIATE GRAN

IN FRONT OF HER FRIENDS,
IN FRONT OF HER FAMILY?

JUST THINK ABOUT IT, MOM.
WHAT WOULD MISS MANNERS DO?

IT'S NOT FAIR.

GRAN WILL BE BACK
IN HER OWN HOUSE SOON.

I KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

JUST HANG ON TILL THEN.

ALRIGHT, LET'S GO BACK
AND GET THIS EVENING OVER WITH.

YOU'RE A STAND-UP LADY,
EMILY GILMORE, YOU KNOW THAT?

OH, REALLY? WELL, THAT MAKES ME
FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

AND IS THIS NORMAL, TO BE
GETTING HOME FROM WORK SO LATE?

THAT'S ONE OF THE PITFALLS OF
STARTING YOUR OWN BUSINESS,
I'M AFRAID.

YOU SHOULD SAY "OF STARTING
A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS."

SUCCESSFUL SO FAR, TRIX.
LET'S NOT JINX IT.

THOUGH, PERHAPS, IF EMILY COULD
HAVE THE MEAL SERVED ON TIME,

RICHARD WOULD HAVE
MORE INDUCEMENT

TO GET HOME
AT A REASONABLE HOUR.

I SAW HER KISSING
A MAN IN A TRACK SUIT.

WHAT?
EMILY!

[ GASPS ]

Kirk: WELL, MUCH LIKE
THE ISRAELITES OF YORE

THE STARS HOLLOW MINUTEMEN
LANGUISHED IN THE DESERT
FOR 40 YEARS.

BUT TONIGHT,
THERE WAS NO PROMISED LAND,

NO NEW CANAAN,
ONLY A HUMILIATING 5-1 DEFEAT

AT THE MERCILESS HANDS
OF THE WEST HARTFORD WILDCATS.

IT'S BACK TO THE DESERT FOR THE
MINUTEMEN, PERHAPS FOR ANOTHER
40 YEARS.

OF COURSE, BY THEN,
I'LL BE 70 YEARS OLD.

A LOT OF THE REST OF YOU
WILL PROBABLY BE DEAD.

TAYLOR, YOU'LL BE DEAD.

BABETTE, MISS PATTY...
THAT MAN THERE IN THE HAT.

IF WE RUN, WE MIGHT CATCH THE
LAST FEW MINUTES OF THE BANDS.

I DON'T THINK THE PINT OF
CHEESE IN MY STOMACH
IS GONNA ALLOW THAT.

I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.
HAVE FUN.

BYE.
BYE.

Dean: HEY.

DEAN.
HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

OH, GOD, THAT'S
A STUPID QUESTION TO ASK

SOMEONE WHO JUST LOST THE
REGIONAL SEMIFINALS, ISN'T IT?

NOW IT SOUNDS LIKE
I'M RUBBING YOUR FACE IN IT.

DON'T WORRY. THEY WERE BETTER
THAN US. THEY DESERVE TO WIN.

HEY, AT LEAST YOU GOT
A POINT. THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?

I MEAN, BETTER THAN
NOT GETTING ANY?

JEEZ, I REALLY SUCK
AT THIS POST-SPORTS TALK.

WELL, YOU HAVEN'T HAD
MUCH PRACTICE.

TRUE. BUT WHO KNOWS,
I MIGHT BE A SPORTS CONVERT.

I MEAN, THE EATING OF MASSIVE
AMOUNTS OF JUNK FOOD

LISTENING TO KIRK MAKE A FOOL OF
HIMSELF IN FRONT OF PEOPLE?
THINGS I ENJOY.

YOU COULD ALMOST GET
RID OF THE SPORTS PART.

THAT'S WHAT
I WAS GONNA SAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO, I RAN INTO LINDSAY.

I HADN'T QUITE FIGURED OUT
HOW TO TELL YOU THAT.

I THINK IT'S GREAT.
YOU DO?

ABSOLUTELY. I MEAN, SHE'S CUTE

AND SMART AND REALLY NICE.

I KNOW.

LIKE, ONCE, IN 4th GRADE,

WE WENT ON A FIELD TRIP
TO MARK TWAIN'S HOUSE,

I WANTED THIS REFRIGERATOR
MAGNET IN THE SHAPE OF MARK'S
HEAD,

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE MONEY, SHE
BOUGHT IT FOR ME AND WOULDN'T
LET ME PAY HER.

PRETTY CLASSY
FOR 4TH GRADER.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE LINDSAY.

EXACTLY.

SO...GOOD JOB, MISTER.

THANKS.

SO, HOW ARE THINGS
WITH JESS?

OH...GOOD. GOOD.

HE'S NOT WITH YOU?

NO, THIS REALLY ISN'T
HIS KIND OF THING.

YEAH.
WELL, I'D BETTER GO.

I GOTTA CHANGE,
LINDSAY AND I ARE GOING OUT.

RIGHT. SURE.

HAVE FUN.

[ DIALING ]

You've reached Luke Danes and
Jess Mariano. Leave a message.

IT'S ME. I JUST WANTED
TO LET YOU KNOW

THAT THIS IS THE LAST
WEEKEND I'M SITING AROUND

LIKE AN IDIOT
HOPING YOU'LL CALL, OKAY?

I'M WON'T BE THAT GIRL.
FROM NOW I WANT A PLAN.

I MEAN A REAL PLAN,
WITH A TIME AND A PLACE.

AND I'M TIRED OF HEARING,
"LET'S HOOK UP LATER."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, ANYWAY?
WHAT'S "LATER"?

HOW DO I SET MY WATCH
TO "LATER"?

LATER DOESN'T CUT IT ANYMORE,
GOT IT?

AND, YEAH, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE I AM SPOILED,

GUESS WHAT? I LIKE BEING
SPOILED. I PLAN TO GO ON
BEING SPOILED.

AND IF THAT DOESN'T
SOUND LIKE SOMETHING

THAT YOU CAN OR WANNA DO,
THEN FINE.

I'M SURE YOU'LL
FIND ANOTHER GIRL

WHO SITS CLEANING HER
KEYBOARD ON A FRIDAY NIGHT

HOPING YOU'LL CALL,
BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO BE ME!

OH, YEAH.
THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR JESS.

HEY. FIGURED I'D FIND YOU HERE.

WHEN YOU SAY
THE WORD "HOCKEY,"

YOU SAY THE WORD "RORY,"
RIGHT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

CAME HERE TO GIVE YOU THESE.
EARPLUGS. WHAT ARE THESE FOR?

I GOT TICKETS TO
THE DISTILLERS.

YOU DID? FOR WHEN?

FOR TONIGHT.
TONIGHT?

I WOULD'VE BEEN HERE SOONER,
BUT I HAD TO WAIT IN LINE.

OH.

SO, WE SHOULD PROBABLY
GET GOING.

I MEAN, WE DON'T WANT TO
MISS ANYTHING, RIGHT?

HEY, JESS?
YEAH?

WHEN YOU GET HOME, COULD YOU
ERASE YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE

WITHOUT LISTENING TO ANY
OF THE MESSAGES?

THAT'D BE GREAT. THANKS.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME IN.

I BROUGHT YOU SOME ASPIRIN.

IT'S THE BUFFERED KIND
THAT YOU LIKE.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
THAT YOU NEED?

NO. THANK YOU.

MOM, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE
FOR WHAT I SAID DOWNSTAIRS.

I HAD NO RIGHT
TO HUMILIATE YOU LIKE THAT

IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS,
AND RICHARD.

THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS SOMETHING
YOU HAD CHOSEN TO KEEP PRIVATE,

AND I SHOULD'VE
RESPECTED THAT.

I AM TRULY SORRY.

HE SEEMED LIKE
A VERY NICE MAN.

WHY DIDN'T YOU
TELL ANYONE ABOUT HIM?

I MARRIED ONCE.

I MARRIED RICHARD'S FATHER.

THAT WAS MY HUSBAND.

I HAVE NO DESIRE TO MARRY AGAIN
AND DISHONOR HIS MEMORY.
I UNDERSTAND.

I BELIEVE
A WOMAN MARRIES FOR LIFE.

IF...AFTER YOUR HUSBAND
IS GONE,

YOU DESPERATELY DESIRE SOME SORT
OF PERMANENT ATTACHMENT,

ADD AN ADDITION ONTO THE HOUSE
-- A LIBRARY OR A SOLARIUM.

I HAVE A LIBRARY
AND A SOLARIUM.

YES, YOU DO.

HOWEVER,
IN SPITE OF ALL THIS,

I FOUND MYSELF
GETTING LONELY,

AND I DON'T CARE FOR BEING
LONELY. IT'S QUITE ANNOYING.

SO, MANY YEARS AGO,
I MET A MAN,

AND HE BECAME MY COMPANION.

TONIGHT, BOTH HE AND I
WERE PUBLICLY HUMILIATED,

AND OUR RELATIONSHIP
ALTERED FOREVER.

CAN YOU IMAGINE
HOW THAT FEELS?

ACTUALLY, I'VE HAD
A LITTLE EXPERIENCE

WITH BEING HUMILIATED IN FRONT
OF THE PEOPLE I LOVE, YES.

MOM, PLEASE BELIEVE ME.

I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT
YOUR PRIDE IS TO YOU,

AND I NEVER HAD ANY INTENTION
OF ROBBING YOU OF IT.

I FEEL TERRIBLE
THAT I CAUSED YOU ANY PAIN.

I JUST WISH
THAT ONCE IN A WHILE

YOU MIGHT FEEL A BIT TERRIBLE
THAT YOU CAUSE ME PAIN.

I HAVE PRIDE, TOO,
YOU KNOW.

AND MY HUSBAND TRAVELS
AND IS VERY BUSY,

AND I MISS HIM,
AND I'M LONELY SOMETIMES.

JUST LIKE YOU.

WELL.

SO, THAT WAS
QUITE A GATHERING.

YES, IT WAS.

IT WOULD MAKE
A GREAT CHRISTMAS STORY.

I KNOW IT DIDN'T HAPPEN
AT CHRISTMAS BUT --

IT'S THE KINDA THING
THAT WOULD HAPPEN THEN.

IT'S NOT LIKE
IF YOU TOLD SOMEONE

IT DID HAPPEN AT CHRISTMAS,
THEY'D GO, "REALLY?

'CAUSE IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
A CHRISTMAS STORY."

THANKSGIVING
WOULD PROBABLY WORK ALSO.

[ SIGHS ]

DAD, I KNOW YOU'RE A LITTLE
BIT UPSET WITH MOM RIGHT NOW,

AND I'M PROBABLY OUT OF LINE
IN SAYING THIS,

BUT YOU MIGHT WANT TO THINK
ABOUT CUTTING HER SOME SLACK.

SHE'S REALLY MISSED YOU LATELY.
I MEAN, YOU WORK SO MUCH,

THEN YOU'RE HELPING GRAN
IN YOUR FREE TIME,

WHICH IS TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE,
BUT STILL, IT'S HARD.

AS MUCH AS GRAN LIKES YOU,
SHE TENDS TO BE ROUGH ON MOM,

AND I THINK MOM
JUST KIND OF SNAPPED.

SHE'D NEVER DO ANYTHING
LIKE THAT INTENTIONALLY.

YOU DO KNOW THAT,
DAD, RIGHT?

[ LAUGHING ]

DAD?

OKAY, APPARENTLY IT'S
TWO-FOR-ONE FLIP-OUT NIGHT

AT THE GILMORE HOUSE.

DO YOU REALLY THINK
HE WAS WEARING A TRACK SUIT?
I DON'T --

I WONDER IF HE WAS
WEARING NIKES ALSO.

"JUST DO IT" TAKES ON A WHOLE
NEW MEANING, DOESN'T IT?

[ LAUGHING ]

I GUESS I'VE GOT A NEW DADDY.
MAYBE HE'LL TAKE YOU
TO BALL GAMES.

WE COULD GET
MATCHING JOGGING SUITS.

OH, IF ONLY I COULD'VE SEEN
EMILY HIDING IN THE BUSHES.

IT'S LIKE A PLAY BY MOLIERE.

WHAT ARE
YOU TWO CACKLING ABOUT?

OH, NOTHING.
YEAH, NOTHING.

DON'T STOP ON MY ACCOUNT.
I'M JUST PASSING THROUGH.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TEA.

THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TEA?
THAT'S A FIRST.

MAYBE THEY'RE GONNA BE PALS NOW.

I'M UNSURE HOW I FEEL
ABOUT MY MOTHER AND MY WIFE
BEING IN CAHOOTS.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL
ABOUT YOU SAYING "CAHOOTS."

THIS ALLIANCE COULD MAKE THINGS
VERY UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME.

SENDING A MAID TO TELL ME HOW
TO MAKE TEA. AS IF I DON'T KNOW.

SHE'LL HAVE A CORONARY
IF THE WATER HITS THE CUP

ONE SECOND BEFORE THE BAG.

I THINK YOU'RE SAFE.
I THINK SO, TOO.

HEY, HOW WAS THE GAME?

FUN. THEY GOT CLOBBERED.

AW. IF YOU'D WON, YOU COULD'VE
RIOTED THROUGH TOWN,

TRASHING STOREFRONTS
AND TORCHING POLICE CARS

LIKE THEY DO IN L.A.
MAYBE NEXT YEAR.

WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER?

OH, YOU KNOW,
JUST HUNG OUT.

WITH LANE
AND HER FAKE BOYFRIEND?

UH-HUH. I THOUGHT
YOU WERE EATING AT GRANDMA'S.

OH, YES.
AND THERE'S A STORY BEHIND THAT.

CAN IT WAIT TILL TOMORROW?
I'M REALLY EXHAUSTED.

IT'S A GOOD STORY.
I'M SURE.

I WON'T FULLY APPRECIATE IT IN
MY WEAKENED STATE.

THIS GIVES YOU EXTRA TIME
TO PRACTICE YOUR VOICES.
FINE.

LET ME JUST SAY TWO WORDS --
JOGGING SUIT.

JOGGING SUIT.
SEE, YOU'RE HOOKED.

WELL, NOW I'M DEFINITELY
WAKING UP TOMORROW.

GOODNIGHT, HONEY.
GOODNIGHT, MOM.