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1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:03,471
HI.
GOOD EVENING.
2
00:00:03,537 --> 00:00:05,273
MAY I TAKE YOUR COATS?
THANKS.
3
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,508
Emily: THAT'S THE MOST ABSURD
THING I'VE EVER HEARD!
4
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,210
YOUR MOTHER'S
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
5
00:00:09,277 --> 00:00:11,645
LAST CHANCE TO RUN, HUH?
EXCUSE ME?
6
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:14,415
JUST IGNORE HER.
7
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,117
Emily:
OF COURSE I SAID IT!
8
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:20,154
I CAN'T IMAGINE WHO WOULD TAKE
"JACKBOOTED" AS A COMPLIMENT.
9
00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:21,522
I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE!
10
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:23,357
EVERY TIME SHE WENT
TO THE PANTRY,
11
00:00:23,424 --> 00:00:25,559
I THOUGHT SHE WAS MARCHING
ON POLAND.
12
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,829
OH, I SEE, BECAUSE I WANT THINGS
A CERTAIN WAY, I'M UNREASONABLE?
13
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,298
Shh.
14
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,600
THAT'S THE MOST ABSURD --
I WANNA SEE THIS DOCUMENT.
15
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,236
FAX IT TO ME IMMEDIATELY.
"Fax it to me immediately"?
16
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:36,670
She's part
of the electronic age.
17
00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:39,673
TOMORROW MORNING
IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.
18
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,710
IT'S UNACCEPTABLE BECAUSE
I'M PAYING YOU $300 AN HOUR.
19
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,545
SO TURN THAT LITTLE
NEAR-LUXURY CAR AROUND,
20
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:48,015
GO BACK TO YOUR OFFICE, AND FAX
ME THAT LIBELOUS SCRAP OF PAPER.
21
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:50,351
Also if he can pick up
some ice cream.
22
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:53,321
TELL YOUR WIFE TO TAPE
YOUR DAUGHTER'S RECITAL.
23
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,655
UNBELIEVABLE.
HI, MOM.
24
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,690
HEY, GRANDMA.
WHEN DID YOU TWO GET HERE?
25
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,759
BETWEEN THE SECOND "ABSURD"
AND THE THIRD "UNBELIEVABLE."
26
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,862
I APOLOGIZE.
THAT CALL CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD.
27
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:04,232
IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT, GRANDMA?
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
28
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:05,433
YOU SURE?
I'M SURE.
29
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,101
YOU LOOK PEEVED.
I'M NOT PEEVED.
30
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,536
WELL, YOU LOOK PEEVED.
31
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,938
KINDLY STOP MAKING ME
SAY THE WORD "PEEVED."
32
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,241
MOM, SPILL IT.
WHAT'S WRONG?
33
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,276
THAT WAS OUR LAWYER
CALLING TO INFORM ME
34
00:01:15,343 --> 00:01:16,910
THAT ONE
OF OUR FORMER MAIDS
35
00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,380
IS SUING
FOR WRONGFUL TERMINATION.
36
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:20,314
HMM.
37
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:21,749
YOU MIGHT AT LEAST
ACT SURPRISED.
38
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,185
IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME.
IT MOST CERTAINLY IS.
39
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:26,287
REALLY?
YES, LOREALAI, REALLY.
40
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,621
WELL, THEN, I'M SURPRISED.
41
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,457
IT'S BEYOND SURPRISING.
IT'S OUTRAGEOUS.
42
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,959
WHAT DID GRANDPA SAY?
YOUR GRANDFATHER'S
STILL IN LONDON
43
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:34,495
HELPING HIS MOTHER CLOSE
DOWN HER HOUSE.
44
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:37,331
I THINK HE PLANNED
IT THAT WAY.
WHICH MAID WAS IT?
45
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,133
GERTA, THE ONE
FROM HAMBURG, GERMANY.
46
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,968
WHICH ONE WAS SHE?
YOU REMEMBER.
47
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:43,604
SHE WAS THE ONE YOU MADE THOSE
HAMBURG/HAMBURGER JOKES TO.
48
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,573
I BEAT
THAT DEAD HORSE.
WITH GLEE.
49
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,208
SHE WAS THE CLOMPER.
"THE CLOMPER?"
50
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:48,576
SHE'D BE MAKING THE BEDS,
51
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,411
IT WOULD SOUND LIKE
A MUNICH-BEER-HALL RALLY.
52
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:51,845
THAT'S WHY YOU FIRED HER?
YES.
53
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,615
BECAUSE SHE MADE NOISE
WHEN SHE WALKED?
YES.
54
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,517
WAS SHE A GOOD MAID
OTHERWISE?
WHAT?
55
00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:58,619
BESIDES THE CLOMPING,
WAS SHE POLITE, ON TIME,
56
00:01:58,686 --> 00:02:01,054
MADE SURE THE LITTLE FORK
WENT ON THE OUTSIDE?
57
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,490
HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO ME?
58
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,525
SHE WASN'T PERFORMING
HER DUTIES AS I WISHED
59
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,660
THEM TO BE PERFORMED.
THE REST DOESN'T MATTER.
60
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:09,163
IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING.
WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
61
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,199
YOU FIND THE ONE THING
ABOUT A MAID
62
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:12,833
THAT NEGATES
ALL OF HER GOOD QUALITIES.
63
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:15,769
ISN'T IT EASIER TO LET
A COUPLE OF THINGS SLIDE?
64
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:16,837
SO IT'S MY FAULT.
65
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,872
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
NO, LORELAI, YOU DID.
66
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,509
FOR YEARS I'VE BEEN LISTENING
TO YOU AND YOUR FATHER
67
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,245
AND EVERYONE ELSE GO ON
ABOUT HOW DEMANDING I AM.
68
00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,480
HOW I HAVE TO HAVE
THINGS A CERTAIN WAY.
69
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:29,750
I PAY TO HAVE THEM THAT WAY.
I PAY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE.
70
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:33,287
WHEN IT'S NOT HOW I WANT,
IT MEANS I'M NOT GETTING
WHAT I PAID FOR.
71
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,722
WHY IS THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?
72
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:36,490
IT ISN'T HARD TO UNDERSTAND,
IT'S --
73
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:39,360
IF YOU PAY FOR FIRST CLASS
AND YOU END UP IN COACH,
74
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:42,896
PEOPLE EXPECT YOU TO BE UPSET.
NO ONE CALLS YOU DEMANDING
OR UNREASONABLE.
75
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:47,235
AND YET THIS WOMAN
WHOM I PAY MORE THAN SHE COULD
GET ANYWHERE ELSE IN HARTFORD,
76
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:50,704
WHOSE SEVERANCE PACKAGE COULD
FINANCE A SUMMER CRUISE
DOWN THE RHINE
77
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,441
DRAGGING ME INTO COURT
SAYING THAT I WAS UNFAIR.
78
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,075
WHY? BECAUSE HAVING PAID
FOR ONE THING,
79
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,911
I'M NOT CONTENT WITH SOMETHING
ELSE? THAT MAKES ME UNFAIR?
80
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,480
WELL, THEN, SO BE IT.
81
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:02,550
LET SOMEONE ELSE PAY FIRST CLASS
AND RIDE IN STEERAGE, NOT ME.
82
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,352
EXCUSE ME, MRS. GILMORE.
DINNER'S READY.
83
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:07,120
THANK YOU, BROOKE.
WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
84
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,290
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
85
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,324
DO YOU HEAR THAT?
86
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:13,261
HEAR WHAT?
EXACTLY.
87
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:19,300
* IF YOU'RE OUT
ON THE ROAD *
88
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:24,405
* FEELIN' LONELY
AND SO COLD *
89
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:28,376
* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS CALL MY NAME *
90
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:32,846
* AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN *
91
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:37,351
* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *
92
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:41,755
* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *
93
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,624
* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *
94
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,460
* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *
95
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,095
* I WILL FOLLOW *
96
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:50,364
* OH, OH, OH *
97
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:55,403
* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *
98
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:59,840
* ANY, ANYWHERE
THAT YOU TELL ME TO *
99
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,742
* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *
100
00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:04,378
* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *
101
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:08,682
* I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD *
102
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,987
NEXT TIME I WANT SOME
GRAPEFRUIT, I'M JUST GONNA
ASK FOR A KAZOO.
103
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:17,257
'CAUSE YOU CAN ONLY SEEM TO GIVE
ME THE MOST BIZARRE OPPOSITE.
104
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,393
I NEED YOU TO --
SHH! SHH!
105
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:21,629
IT'S STARTED! YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO CALL ME.
106
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:22,530
STOP TALKING.
107
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,231
I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY.
108
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,300
YOU WANNA BE A DICTATOR!
COME OFF IT!
109
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:28,669
COMMANDANT ST. JAMES SAYS,
"BRUSSELS SPROUTS!
110
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,504
YOU WILL BRING ME
THE BRUSSELS SPROUTS!"
111
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,940
I'M TRYING TO PLAN A MENU HERE,
JACKSON!
112
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,442
FILL ME IN, PLEASE.
113
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,810
JACKSON BROUGHT PEA TENDRILS
INSTEAD OF BRUSSELS SPROUTS.
114
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,046
AREN'T WE EVEL KNIEVEL?
COFFEE?
115
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,115
PEA TENDRILS ARE TOO DELICATE
TO SERVE WITH THE LAMB SHANK!
116
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,551
I DON'T THINK THAT THEY ARE!
117
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,052
WHERE ARE
THE BRUSSELS SPROUTS?
118
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,488
I LOOKED AT THE STOCKS.
THEY WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH!
119
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:48,656
YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!
120
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:50,691
DOESN'T IT MATTER
THAT I CARE SO MUCH
121
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,125
ABOUT THE QUALITY
OF THE PRODUCE
122
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,562
THAT I'D BE WILLING TO RISK
AN ENORMOUS ARGUMENT
123
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,230
JUST TO SAVE YOUR DINNER?
OOPS. THAT WAS DUMB.
124
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,367
SAVE MY DINNER?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT.
125
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:02,169
YES, MY DINNER IS OUT STANDING
ON A LEDGE.
126
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:03,804
"OH, NO!
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?"
127
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,973
SOOKIE...
"WAIT. WHAT'S THAT?
128
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:07,441
"IT'S A BIRD.
IT'S A PLANE.
129
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:10,411
IT'S SUPERJACKSON
AND HIS ATOMIC PEA TENDRILS!"
130
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,245
YOU WANNA GET
ANOTHER PRODUCE GUY?
131
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,714
MAYBE I SHOULD.
WELL, GO AHEAD.
132
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,883
DON'T TEMPT ME!
THAT'S IT!
I AM LEAVING!
133
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,051
GO! BUT TAKE THE TENDRILS
WITH YA!
134
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:20,253
FINE!
135
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,423
SEE YOU TONIGHT?
I LOVE YOU.
136
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:25,993
AND IT ALWAYS ENDS WITH A HUG.
OKAY, WHAT DO YOU NEED?
137
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:27,861
THE NEW INSURANCE POLICIES
YOU ORDERED.
138
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,297
GOOD. AND THE INSPECTOR'S
SUPPOSED TO BE COMING BY
139
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:31,732
TO CHECK THE PLACE OUT
TOMORROW,
140
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,567
YOU'LL HAVE
TO SHOW HIM AROUND.
WHAT?
141
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,035
YOU'RE COVERING FOR ME,
REMEMBER?
142
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,471
YES. TOMORROW, THE
TWO OF YOU GO BACK TO SCHOOL.
143
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:40,574
IT'S NOT SCHOOL. IT'S A ONE-DAY
COURSE AT THE LEARNING CENTER.
144
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:41,909
"HOW TO RUN AN INN."
145
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,144
AMAZING YOU'VE BEEN ABLE
TO FAKE IT SO LONG.
146
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:47,381
THIS IS SPECIFIC TO OPENING
SMALL INNS, BED AND BREAKFASTS.
147
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,016
I SEE. "ORDER HALF
OF EVERYTHING."
148
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,784
THERE -- YOU OWE ME $75.
149
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:53,621
WHY ARE YOU BEING A SNOB?
YOU WENT TO HOTEL SCHOOL.
150
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,456
I ATTENDED
THE ECOLE HOTELIERE DE GENEVE.
151
00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:57,124
THAT'LL MAKE ONE HELL
OF A SWEATSHIRT.
152
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,960
IT WAS ONE OF THE PREMIERE
HOTEL SCHOOLS IN THE WORLD.
153
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:03,030
YOU TWO ARE GOING TO TAKE
A TWO-HOUR COURSE AT A RADISSON.
154
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,699
JACKSON'S TAKEN A LOT OF COURSES
THROUGH THE LEARNING CENTER,
155
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,868
AND HE LOVES IT.
HE TOOK BEEKEEPING --
156
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:10,571
JACKSON KEEPS BEES?
NO, IT TURNED OUT
HE WAS ALLERGIC.
157
00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:12,606
ONE STUNG HIS LIP,
AND HIS WHOLE HEAD
158
00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,642
BLEW UP TO THREE TIMES
ITS NORMAL SIZE.
159
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,209
PLEASE TELL ME
YOU HAVE PICTURES.
160
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,046
HE TOOK A COURSE ON HOW TO BUY
FORECLOSED REAL ESTATE,
161
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:22,315
AND HOW TO WRITE A DIARY.
HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT?
162
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,884
HE'S A SEARCHER.
YES, HE IS.
163
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,919
I THINK HE WAS LONELY
BEFORE WE MET
164
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,021
AND HE DIDN'T LIVE
NEAR A BAR.
YES.
165
00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:30,458
TOMORROW WILL BE
A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY.
166
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,093
I'LL BE HERE TO LAUGH
AT YOU WHEN YOU RETURN.
167
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,428
THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
168
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,464
FORGET HIM. OPENING
AN INN IS A HUGE STEP,
169
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,533
ANYTHING THAT MIGHT HELP
IS WORTH TRYING.
EXACTLY, PARTNER.
170
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,369
TELL ME YOU GOT PICTURES
OF JACKSON AND HIS GIANT HEAD.
171
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:44,605
I'LL BRING THEM IN TOMORROW.
172
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:51,812
HEY, PARIS.
HAVE YOU LOOKED OVER THE
VOTES FOR COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER?
173
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:55,048
YEAH.
ARE THE ONES FOR PRINCESS
DIANA'S BUTLER JOKES OR REAL?
174
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,084
JOKES.
WHAT ABOUT THE ONES
FOR DR. PHIL?
175
00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:00,353
I THINK REAL.
I KNEW THAT SUGGESTION BOX
WAS A BAD IDEA.
176
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,622
WATCH CHOATE GET JOAN DIDION
177
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,691
WHILE WE'RE BEING READ
"ELOISE AT THE PLAZA."
178
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,226
BEFORE THE OTHERS GET HERE,
WE SHOULD PROBABLY DECIDE
179
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,728
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
ABOUT WHAT?
180
00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:09,663
THE PROM COUP FRANCIE
STAGED LAST WEEK.
181
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,164
YOU MEAN BOOKING
WADSWORTH MANSION?
182
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,801
USING THE MONEY FOR THE
TELESCOPE FOR THE SENIOR GIFT.
183
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,637
WHY DOES ONE PINHEAD ALWAYS
HAVE TO VOTE FOR JERRY GARCIA?
184
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:18,472
I'M NOT SURE IF THE
DEPOSIT CHECK --
185
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,273
I TOOK CARE OF THAT.
WHAT?
186
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,176
WADSWORTH MANSION IS OWNED
BY THE CONNECTICUT DAUGHTERS
OF THE MAYFLOWER.
187
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:26,847
MOST OF THOSE BIDDIES COULDN'T
NEGOTIATE AN ICY SIDEWALK
MUCH LESS A CONTRACT.
188
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,917
TOOK ME FIVE MINUTES TO GET THEM
TO HALF THEIR ASKING PRICE.
189
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:33,186
YOU'RE KIDDING.
I WASN'T GONNA LET THE
CLASS GIFT BE A STUPID TREE
190
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,823
JUST SO GINGER SPICE CAN HAVE
HER BARBIE DREAM PROM.
191
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:39,192
SHE'S A SNEAK.
SHE'S NOT SMART ENOUGH
TO BE A SNEAK.
192
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:42,262
IT'S THAT LOSER MR. HUNTER
THAT LET HER GET AWAY WITH IT.
193
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:46,233
SHE FORCED HIM INTO IT.
YOU CAN'T FORCE A TEACHER
INTO SOMETHING, RORY.
194
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,768
NO, IT WAS HUNTER.
195
00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:49,870
HE'S BEEN JEALOUS
SINCE I GOT INTO OFFICE.
196
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,305
WHENEVER I ANNOUNCE I HAVE
A NEW MOTION TO INTRODUCE,
197
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:55,242
HE FLINCHES, ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY
TIGHTENS UP FOR A MOMENT.
198
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,677
IT'S CREEPY.
YEAH. BUT --
199
00:07:56,744 --> 00:07:58,445
OUR FEARLESS LEADERS
AT WORK ALREADY.
200
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,147
I FEEL SO SAFE.
201
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,516
THAT GIRL BUGS ME.
RELAX. SHE'S HARMLESS.
202
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,751
PARIS, RORY.
203
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,554
"PARIS, RORY." BED WETTER.
SHALL WE SIT?
204
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,821
FINE, LET'S SIT.
205
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:13,060
I CALL THIS MEETING OF THE
STUDENT COUNCIL TO ORDER.
206
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,164
IS THE SECRETARY READY?
I AM.
207
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,331
THEN LET'S PROCEED.
208
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,000
FIRST OF ALL,
I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
209
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,402
FOR MISSING LAST WEEK'S
SOMEWHAT IMPROMPTU MEETING.
210
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,304
AS MOST OF YOU KNOW,
ITS SCHEDULING
211
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:25,606
WAS SOMEWHAT UNORTHODOX
212
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,875
SINCE THE MEETING WAS
A SUPPLEMENTARY MEETING,
213
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,810
WHICH WAS A CONCEPT
INVENTED BY ME.
214
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:32,045
SO THE FACT THAT ANYONE
WOULD HOLD A MEETING
215
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:35,048
INVENTED BY A CERTAIN PERSON
WITHOUT THAT CERTAIN PERSON
216
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,018
SEEMS, WELL, LET'S SEE --
WHAT'S THE WORD? --
217
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:40,520
MUTINOUS, INSULTING,
UNDERHANDED,
218
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:42,189
AND, IN THE END, FRUITLESS,
219
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,424
SINCE I MANAGED TO RENEGOTIATE
THE RENTAL FEE
220
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:45,693
FOR THE WADSWORTH MANSION
221
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,995
SO THAT WE'LL BE ABLE
TO HAVE THE PROM
222
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,397
AND GIVE THE SCHOOL
A RESPECTABLE SENIOR GIFT
223
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,299
IN THE FORM OF A TELESCOPE.
224
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,869
ANY QUESTIONS, MR. CHRISTIAN --
I MEAN, MR. HUNTER.
225
00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:56,970
UH, NO.
226
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,573
GOOD. SO, NOW THAT THAT'S
OUT OF THE WAY,
227
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,809
LET'S MOVE ON
TO OTHER BUSINESS. FRANCIE.
228
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,844
AS YOU KNOW,
HEALTH WEEK IS COMING UP.
229
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,879
WE HAVE SPEAKERS LINED UP
TO DISCUSS EVERYTHING
230
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,514
FROM HEART DISEASE
AND EXERCISE
231
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,750
TO THE DANGERS
OF SUN DAMAGE AND FRIED FOOD.
232
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,251
EVERYONE'S BOOKED
AND READY TO GO.
233
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:14,655
WE'LL NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHERE
TO SET UP THE SIGN-UP TABLE
234
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,489
FOR THE ANNUAL BLOOD DRIVE.
AAAAAAH!
235
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,058
JEEZ.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
236
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:20,961
SHE HATES THE WORD "blood."
GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK.
237
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:23,831
KEEP YOUR HANDS
ON YOUR EARS.
TELL ME WHEN IT'S OVER.
238
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,266
AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE THE
FREAK-OUT, WE'VE TO DECIDE
239
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,902
WHERE TO PLACE THE SIGN-UP
TABLE FOR THE BLOOD DRIVE.
240
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,938
I CAN STILL HEAR HER!
HUM TO YOURSELF.
241
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,473
CONTINUE, PLEASE.
I'M PROPOSING PUTTING IT
IN THE CAFETERIA.
242
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,909
[ HUMMING ]
IT'S GOT EASY ACCESS,
MAXIMUM EXPOSURE,
243
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:40,347
ALMOST 90% OF THE STUDENT BODY
VISITS THE CAFETERIA EVERY DAY.
IT'S THE PERFECT LOCATION.
244
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,615
WELL?
NO.
245
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:44,317
EXCUSE ME?
YOU CAN'T. IT'S A FIRE HAZARD.
246
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:47,187
IT IS?
YES. YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND
ANOTHER PLACE.
247
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,322
YOU'RE KIDDING.
I NEVER KID
ABOUT FIRE SAFETY.
248
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,992
RORY, I ACTUALLY KNOW THE
FIRE CODES FOR THE CAFETERIA,
249
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,628
AND AS LONG AS WE DON'T
HAVE MORE THAN 300 PEOPLE,
250
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:57,665
WE CAN START AN OPIUM DEN, THE
FIRE DEPARTMENT WOULDN'T CARE.
251
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,432
A: I THINK THEY WOULD CARE.
252
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:01,068
AND B: I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT NUMBERS.
253
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,503
YOU SET UP THAT TABLE, GET
PEOPLE THINKING ABOUT BLOOD,
254
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:06,573
SOMEONE SMELLS SMOKE,
AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
50 STAMPEDING TEENAGERS
255
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,043
ARE USING YOUR BODY TO LEVER
OPEN A DOOR. I WON'T ALLOW THAT.
256
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,378
THIS IS "XANADU"-LEVEL
OF INSANE.
257
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,446
YOU DO REALIZE YOU'RE
OPPOSING THE BLOOD DRIVE?
258
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,683
NO, I'M OPPOSING THE BLOOD DRIVE
IN THE CAFETERIA.
259
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:19,086
IS IT THAT BIG A DEAL?
IT'S THE RULES
OF COMMON DECENCY.
260
00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,421
AND I WON'T LET
FRANCIE IGNORE THOSE RULES.
261
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,291
WELL, OKAY. MOTION DENIED.
262
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,127
THE SENIOR CLASS PRESIDENT WILL
COME UP WITH AN ALTERNATE PLAN
263
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,963
FOR THE LOCATION OF THE SIGN-UP
TABLE FOR THE BLOOD DRIVE.
264
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,199
LOUISE, POKE JOHN WILLIAMS
OVER THERE AND TELL HER
265
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,334
SHE CAN CUT THE SCORE,
WE'RE MOVING ON.
266
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:38,271
ADVERTISING SPACE IN THE
YEARBOOK IS ONLY 50% SOLD.
267
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,507
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO
ABOUT THIS?
268
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,642
ROGER, YES?
WELL --
269
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,317
DINNER!
OVER HERE!
270
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:53,386
WE ARE SO IN LUCK. IT WAS
INTERNATIONAL GRAB-BAG NIGHT
AT AL'S.
271
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:56,489
COOL! DID YOU PEEK?
AND RUIN THE MYSTERY DINNER?
272
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:58,425
I THINK NOT. PICK.
THAT ONE.
273
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:02,896
OKAY. I LOVE THIS. IT'S FOOD
AND A GAME ALL-IN-ONE. WE OPEN
THEM AT THE SAME TIME.
274
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,898
I KNOW THE RULES.
DON'T JUMP THE GUN.
275
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,334
THERE'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE
ASSOCIATED WITH INTERNATIONAL
GRAB-BAG NIGHT.
276
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,970
I'M YOUR MOTHER. IT'S
MY RESPONSIBILITY TO GIVE
YOU STRUCTURE.
277
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:13,807
NOW, ON THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
278
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,609
HMM, MOROCCAN.
YOU ALWAYS SAY MOROCCAN.
279
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,312
AND SOONER OR LATER, I WILL
BE RIGHT. WHAT'S YOURS?
280
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:22,015
PAN-ASIAN, WITH A HINT
OF ENGLISH COLONIAL,
281
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,784
AND A FEW SOUTH AFRICAN
INFLUENCES.
282
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,285
WAY TO HEDGE YOUR BET.
KITCHEN?
283
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:28,121
JUST LET ME CHECK
THE MACHINE.
OKAY.
284
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,323
MISS GILMORE, IT'S BOB MERRIAM,
YOUR MOTHER'S LAWYER.
285
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:33,393
I'M CALLING ABOUT THE LITTLE
MATTER OF THIS LAWSUIT
SHE'S INVOLVED IN.
286
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,563
WE'D LIKE IT IF YOU COULD GIVE
A DEPOSITION ON HER BEHALF.
287
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:39,900
PLEASE CALL ME TOMORROW
WITH SOME TIMES THAT
WOULD BE CONVENIENT...
288
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,735
OH, NO!
WHAT?
289
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,871
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
HELLO?
290
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,172
NO.
WHO IS THIS?
291
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,875
I'M NOT GIVING A DEPOSITION.
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
292
00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,542
PLEASE LEAVE ME
OUT OF THIS.
293
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:52,179
SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LET THIS
LEAD-FOOTED TEUTONIC CHAMBERMAID
294
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,582
DRAG YOUR MOTHER INTO A PUBLIC
FORUM AND HUMILIATE HER,
295
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,217
IS THAT WHAT I'M HEARING?
MOM.
296
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,486
HER LAWYER KNOWS WE ASKED
FOR THIS DEPOSITION.
297
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,756
HOW'S IT GOING TO LOOK WHEN
YOU REFUSE TO TESTIFY
FOR YOUR MOTHER?
298
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:05,926
LIKE IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS.
I'M SURE THE 12 ROCKET
SCIENTISTS
299
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:08,061
THEY ASSEMBLE AS JURY
WILL SEE IT THAT WAY.
300
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:12,299
HONESTLY, MOM, I DOUBT
THEY'LL FIND 12 PEOPLE
WHO HAVEN'T BEEN FIRED BY YOU.
301
00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:14,534
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY DAUGHTER
WON'T DEFEND ME.
302
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,236
I'M NOT GONNA LIE FOR YOU.
303
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,371
JUST TELL THEM
HOW I TREAT MY MAIDS.
304
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:22,709
I'M NOT GONNA LIE FOR YOU.
JUST TELL THEM
I TREAT THE HELP FAIRLY.
305
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:25,045
I'M NOT GONNA LIE FOR YOU.
LORELAI.
306
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:27,047
THERE IS SOMETHING
CALLED FAMILY LOYALTY.
307
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,482
IT MEANS WHEN SOMEONE IS
IN TROUBLE, YOU HELP THEM,
308
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,119
AS I HAVE HELPED YOU SEVERAL
TIMES OVER THE YEARS.
309
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:35,388
THE VERY LEAST YOU COULD DO
IN RETURN IS SPEND HALF AN HOUR
310
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,657
SAYING SOMETHING KIND
ABOUT YOUR MOTHER.
311
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,092
[ SIGHS ] FINE.
312
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,294
THANK YOU.
YOUR DEVOTION IS TOUCHING.
313
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,064
I HAVE TO GIVE
A DEPOSITION.
314
00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:47,034
I DON'T THINK THIS IS MOROCCAN,
OR AT LEAST NOT RECENTLY.
315
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,301
WANT SOME OF MINE?
316
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,436
NOPE.
YIKES.
317
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,771
LUKE'S?
LET'S GO.
318
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:58,278
I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH
THE VALUE OF A GOOD PAINT JOB.
319
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,713
ONE OF THE FIRST DECISIONS
YOU'LL HAVE TO MAKE
320
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,115
WHEN YOU OPEN YOUR INN
321
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:05,218
IS WHETHER TO EMPLOY YOUR
HOUSEKEEPERS INDIVIDUALLY
322
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:08,788
OR CONTRACT OUT TO
A HOUSEKEEPING SERVICE.
323
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:13,827
IF YOU USE A SERVICE,
YOU'LL BE ASSURED OF HAVING
A REPLACEMENT HOUSEKEEPER
324
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,897
IF ONE SHOULD CALL IN SICK
OR QUIT SUDDENLY.
325
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,565
BUT YOU'LL PAY $2 MORE
AN HOUR,
326
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,401
AND THEY'LL BE LOYAL
TO THE SERVICE, NOT TO YOU.
327
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,504
HOWEVER, YOU'LL PROBABLY END UP
PAYING A BIT MORE
328
00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,974
THAN IF YOU HIRED THEM
INDIVIDUALLY.
329
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,808
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE TAKING NOTES.
330
00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:32,279
HE HAS SAID NOTHING
IN THE LAST TWO HOURS
THAT WE DIDN'T KNOW,
331
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,681
AND HE'S SAYING IT REALLY
CONDESCENDINGLY.
332
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:38,718
SO, IN ADDITION TO BEING BORED,
I'M GETTING HOSTILE
AND A LITTLE INSECURE
333
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,153
'CAUSE YOU'RE STUDYING
AND I'M NOT.
334
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,055
PICK A COLOR.
[ GASPS ] PINK.
335
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:43,891
'CAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL.
EXACTLY.
336
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:46,126
P-I-N-K. PICK A NUMBER.
337
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:47,627
FIVE.
338
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:50,063
YOU WILL MARRY SHAUN CASSIDY
AND CHEAT WITH DAVID.
339
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,999
WELL, GOOD FOR ME.
MY TURN.
340
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,066
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
341
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,135
SOME OF US ARE HERE TO LEARN.
342
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,370
SORRY.
YEAH, SORRY.
343
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,772
WE HAD A COOTIE CATCHER.
WE'RE SORRY.
344
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,208
AS I WAS SAYING,
345
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,044
THE POINTS WE'VE COVERED
SHOULD GET YOU STARTED,
346
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:08,015
BUT REMEMBER,
IT'S A LONG PROCESS,
347
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,084
SO DON'T GET DISCOURAGED.
I'M SURE ONE DAY
348
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:14,387
I'LL BE STAYING IN EACH
AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR INNS.
349
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,589
HE'S NOT STAYING
IN OUR INN.
THANK YOU.
350
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:20,260
NOW, DON'T RUN OFF JUST YET.
WE'VE GOT ONE FINAL TREAT.
351
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:24,564
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU ALL
TO JOHN MATTERN.
352
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:27,968
HELLO, EVERYONE.
I'M VERY PLEASED TO BE HERE
ADDRESSING YOU TODAY.
353
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:32,039
I ASKED BRIAN
IF I COULD HAVE A FEW
MINUTES AT THE END OF TODAY
354
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,274
TO SHOW YOU ALL SOME
OPPORTUNITIES
355
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:37,477
THAT I THINK YOU'RE GOING
TO FIND REALLY EXCITING.
356
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,979
I KNOW THAT I DO.
357
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,448
IF WE COULD...
358
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,183
NOW, THIS IS
A LOVELY PROPERTY
359
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,586
THAT HAS JUST BECOME AVAILABLE
RIGHT OUTSIDE OF LITCHFIELD.
360
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,121
IT'S A SALES PITCH?
361
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,957
THEY SPENT TWO HOURS
TELLING US NOTHING
362
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,259
AND THEN TRY TO SELL US
LAME PROPERTY?
363
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,094
WE ALREADY KNOW THE PLACE
WE'RE BUYING.
364
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,129
I KNOW.
SO WHAT DO WE DO?
365
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,531
I'M CRUSHING YOUR HEAD.
I'M CRUSHING YOUR HEAD.
366
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,067
LET'S GO.
367
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,501
A PERFECTLY RESTORABLE
SUN PORCH
368
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,503
WRAPS AROUND
THE ENTIRE MAIN STRUCTURE.
369
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,306
LET'S STEP INSIDE
THIS DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH.
370
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,975
UNBELIEVABLE.
SHOCKING.
371
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:11,044
WE WORK AT AN INN FOR SO LONG
AND LEARN SO LITTLE.
372
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,645
WE MUST BE DUMB.
373
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,881
WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT
THAT INNS NEED DOORS --
NOT ME.
374
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:17,117
AND FLOORS?
DOORS AND FLOORS --
WE CAN'T AFFORD THAT.
375
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:20,520
WELL, WE BETTER, OTHERWISE,
OUR GUESTS WILL FALL
RIGHT THROUGH TO CHINA.
376
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,622
I CAN JUST IMAGINE
THE PHONE CALLS.
377
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,992
WHAT WAS JACKSON THINKING SAYING
THESE COURSES WERE GOOD?
378
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:28,861
THE MAN TOOK A COURSE
IN DIARY WRITING.
THANK GOD -- FOOD.
379
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:32,732
IS IT WORTH IT
IF WE CAN MAKE UP OUR $75
ADMISSION FEE IN COOKIES?
380
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,368
CONSIDERING THAT IN THE
PAST HOUR I UTTERED THE PHRASE,
381
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,570
"MY GOD, I SHOULD'VE
LISTENED TO MICHEL,"
382
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:40,207
THESE BETTER BE THE BEST
DAMN COOKIES IN THE WORLD.
383
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,474
AND THEY TASTE LIKE FEET.
384
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,943
OH, WELL,
EVEN THEIR COOKIES SUCK.
385
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,578
STAND BY,
I'M GOING IN FOR COFFEE.
386
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,181
SOOKIE? SOOKIE ST. JAMES?
UH-HUH.
387
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,283
IT'S JOE -- JOE MASTONI
FROM THE DEERHILL LODGE.
388
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:54,287
OH, MY GOD! JOE! JOE!
JOE FROM THE DEERHILL LODGE!
389
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,123
IT'S JOE
FROM THE DEERHILL LODGE!
390
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,557
HOW ARE YOU?
391
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:58,925
SORRY.
392
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,260
WELL, COME HERE!
393
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,562
OH! LORELAI, THIS IS JOE.
394
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:03,763
JOE, LORELAI.
HI.
395
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,999
NICE TO MEET YOU.
THIS IS ALEX, MY PARTNER.
396
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:09,469
BUSINESS PARTNER.
CLARIFICATION DULY NOTED.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
397
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,072
WE WORKED TOGETHER ONE
SUMMER UP IN THE BERKSHIRES.
398
00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:13,973
WE HAD A WILD TIME
THAT SUMMER.
399
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:15,408
WILD TIME, HUH?
DO TELL.
400
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,511
WE'D ALL WORK 14 HOURS STRAIGHT,
PARTY TILL DAWN,
401
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,781
PILE IN JOE'S VAN, AND WAKE UP
IN NEW HAMPSHIRE OR MAINE
402
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:24,817
WITH JUST ENOUGH TIME TO GET
BACK FOR THE NEXT SHIFT.
403
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,086
WE HAD AN
INTERESTING CREW --
404
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:28,721
SOOKIE, ME, FELDMAN,
MELLON, BUNG.
405
00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:32,259
BUNG?
HE HAD BEEN UP THERE
FOR A COUPLE YEARS ALREADY.
406
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,595
BUT WE BOTH WERE IN PREP.
AND, I REPEAT, BUNG?
407
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,365
I'M STILL WONDERING IF MELLON'S
A MAN OR A WOMAN.
408
00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:39,866
I PROMISED MYSELF
AFTER THAT SUMMER
409
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:43,170
I WOULD NEVER CHOP SMALL GREEN
THINGS EN MASSE EVER AGAIN.
410
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:46,606
OR DRINK ALL THE LEFTOVER WINE
ON AN EMPTY STOMACH!
411
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,208
LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS.
412
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,377
HEY, NICE BLISTERS.
413
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:52,845
LET ME SEE YOURS.
OOH, NOT BAD, NOT BAD.
414
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:55,515
I'M CAREFUL ABOUT USING
THE TOWELS WITH THE HOT STUFF.
415
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:58,285
SISSY.
YEAH, YEAH.
SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
416
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:01,388
WE ARE OPENING AN INN TOGETHER,
SO WE CAME FOR A CLASS.
417
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,524
REALLY? WE'RE HERE
FOR A CLASS ABOUT OPENING
YOUR OWN COFFEE PLACE.
418
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,359
CHAIN OF COFFEE PLACES,
ACTUALLY.
419
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,861
THAT'S GREAT.
WE'LL SEE. IT'S PRETTY
NEW TERRITORY FOR US.
420
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,131
JOE KNOWS
THE FOOD INDUSTRY. I'M COMING
FROM IRONWORKS,
421
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:14,634
SO I BASICALLY KNOW WHAT
THE SECURITY GATE
SHOULD BE MADE OF.
422
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,170
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. ALEX
IS AN INCREDIBLE BUSINESSMAN.
423
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,706
THAT'S TRUE.
WE'VE GOT THE BUSINESS
MODEL PLANNED OUT.
424
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,941
THERE'S A COUPLE OF PRIME
LOCATIONS WE'RE INTERESTED IN.
425
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:25,278
THE ONLY THING LEFT
BESIDES BUILDING THE PLACE
IS PICKING A NAME.
426
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,447
OH, LITTLE TIP --
DON'T CHOOSE ANYTHING CUTE.
427
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,516
LIKE JITTERS.
OR SPILL THE BEANS.
428
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,384
OR HIGHER GROUND.
OR THE MUDHOUSE.
429
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,820
ACTUALLY, I KINDA
LIKE THAT.
ME TOO. WE CALL DIBS.
430
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,290
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
OPENING AN INN.
WE WANNA KEEP OUR OPTIONS OPEN.
431
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:38,925
DID YOU HEAR
ABOUT FELDMAN'S RESTAURANT?
432
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,493
THE FELDSTER OPENED
A RESTAURANT?
433
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,562
I KNOW I'M REPEATING MYSELF,
BUT THE FELDSTER?
434
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,597
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE OPENED
HIS OWN PLACE.
435
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,966
HE SPENT THE WHOLE SUMMER
GETTING STONED.
436
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,635
HE WAS OUR BAKER.
RIGHT. THAT FIGURES.
437
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:50,537
HUH?
BAKER -- GETTING BAKED.
I'M THERE.
438
00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:53,072
OH, CONGRATULATIONS. YOU STILL
CAN'T HAVE THE MUDHOUSE.
439
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:54,941
DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST
RECEPTION WE CATERED --
440
00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:57,510
THE PARAKEETS, EVERYONE DRESSED
AS KNIGHTS AND LADIES?
441
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,180
OH, GOD.
OLD FRIENDS, HUH?
442
00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:01,848
YEAH, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE 'EM.
443
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,518
I NEVER DID FIGURE OUT HOW BUNG
GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH THE BRIDE.
444
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,819
ONE MINUTE,
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
445
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,921
NEXT, HE'S BEANING HER
WITH THE ICE SCULPTURE.
446
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:12,392
REMEMBER THE TIME YOU
AND FAT SAL GOT LOCKED IN
THE FREEZER OVERNIGHT?
447
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,427
FAT SAL?
WORK WITH ME HERE.
448
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:15,928
RIGHT.
FAT SAL. YES, RIGHT.
449
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:19,199
THEN FELDMAN GOT INTO A FIGHT
WITH THE BRIDE'S MOTHER.
450
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,701
THAT'S RIGHT! HE WENT AFTER
THE WHOLE BRIDAL PARTY!
451
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,137
YOU REMEMBER HOW ME
AND BRUISER,
NEVER LIKED THAT GUY.
452
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:28,007
WE FOUND YOU GUYS IN THE
MORNING, AND YOU WERE FROZEN
TOGETHER LIKE BACON?
453
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,476
YEAH, I STILL CAN'T EAT BACON.
454
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,344
YOU REMEMBER WHAT FELDMAN
TOLD THE COPS?
455
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,980
OH, YEAH!
[ BOTH LAUGHING ]
456
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:38,017
BEFORE WE WOULD LET YOU OUT,
WE MADE YOU AND FAT SAL KISS?
457
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:39,519
I'M NOT SURE I REMEMBER THAT.
458
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,554
YOU KNOW,
I ACTUALLY DON'T REMEMBER
459
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,989
WHAT FELDMAN TOLD THE COPS.
460
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:45,492
HE TRIED TO PRETEND HE DIDN'T
SPEAK ENGLISH, REMEMBER?
461
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,060
THAT'S RIGHT!
THE "FLOONGINSHORTS."
462
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,396
YES, THE "FLOONGINSHORTS"!
463
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,831
NOW WE HAVE TO MAKE UP
OUR OWN LANGUAGE?
464
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,300
THIS IS GETTING EXHAUSTING.
465
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,335
YOU KNOW, FELDMAN'S RESTAURANT'S
RIGHT HERE IN HARTFORD.
466
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,736
NO, REALLY?
YEAH.
467
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,372
WE SHOULD SWING BY ONE NIGHT
AND BUST HIS CHOPS.
468
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,408
WE COULD KEEP SENDING BACK
PLATE AFTER PLATE
469
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,443
UNTIL HE GETS SO ANGRY
HE COMES OUT.
470
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,077
LET'S MAKE A PLAN.
SURE.
471
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,046
CALL ME AT
THE INDEPENDENCE INN.
472
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:08,348
FOR NOW.
SOUNDS GREAT.
473
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,617
SO GLAD WE RAN
INTO EACH OTHER.
ME TOO.
474
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:12,852
IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING.
475
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:15,488
THANKS, YOU TOO.
I'M GLAD WE COULD
CATCH UP TOO.
476
00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:17,990
IF YOU SEE FAT SAL,
GIVE HIM A KISS.
477
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,058
I'LL DO THAT.
OKAY.
478
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,727
BYE.
479
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,696
THAT WAS A GREAT SURPRISE.
480
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:26,966
SO YOU AND THAT GUY KNEW EACH
OTHER, TOO? WHAT A COINCIDENCE!
481
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,735
COME ON, HONEY.
482
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,604
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
483
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,840
HOW MANY TIMES
DO I HAVE TO TELL THEM?
484
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:37,310
YOU CAN'T PUT A TWO-INCH
LADLE OF GRAVY INTO
A ONE-INCH POTATO CRATER.
485
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,746
YOU EITHER NEED A SMALLER LADLE
OR A BIGGER CRATER.
486
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,449
OTHERWISE, YOU GET THIS.
GRAVY ON YOUR ASPARAGUS.
487
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,517
YES.
PARIS,
THE CAFETERIA WORKERS
488
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,152
SERVE HUNDREDS OF STUDENTS
A DAY.
489
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,587
A LITTLE GRAVY SPILLAGE
IS NATURAL.
490
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,922
I SEE. SO I SHOULD
JUST SIT QUIETLY
491
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:52,359
AND SHOVEL IN WHATEVER SLOP
THEY THROW MY WAY
492
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,661
LIKE SOME INMATE
IN THE CHOW LINE AT LEAVENWORTH
493
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,929
DOING 20 TO LIFE?
I DON'T THINK SO.
494
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,731
I'LL SAVE YOUR SEAT.
495
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,927
THEY TOOK MY TRAY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
496
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:30,963
ALL I DID WAS TELL THEM
I WANTED SOME NEW ASPARAGUS,
497
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,799
AND THEY TOOK MY TRAY.
498
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,234
I TOLD THEM TO BUY
A SLIGHTLY LOOSER HAIRNET,
499
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,270
THAT WOULDN'T SQUISH
THE PART OF THE BRAIN
500
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:38,538
THAT CAN JUDGE DEPTH,
MEASUREMENTS,
501
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:41,040
AND THEN THEY TOOK MY TRAY,
BUT STILL...
502
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:42,842
[ SIGHS ] NOW WHAT?
503
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,513
ARE YOU GONNA EAT THAT?
504
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,907
GOOD. YOU'RE HERE.
WE NEED TO TALK.
505
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,544
WE HAVE THREE CLASSES TOGETHER.
WE COULDN'T TALK THEN?
506
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,512
I THOUGHT ALONE
WOULD BE BETTER.
507
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:21,548
BESIDES,
YOU PICKED THE PLACE.
508
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,183
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I WANT A TRUCE.
509
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:25,752
EXCUSE ME?
510
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,355
A TRUCE. YOU KNOW --
NO MORE FIGHTY FIGHTY.
511
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,922
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
512
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:31,057
LOOK...
513
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,893
THIS IS NOT THE WAY
I WANTED THINGS TO WORK OUT.
514
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,663
HONESTLY. YES, THE HEMLINE THING
BUGGED ME,
515
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:39,298
PARIS IS NOT MY IDEA
OF A SECRET SISTER,
516
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,934
BUT I NEVER INTENDED
FOR THINGS TO GO SO FAR.
517
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,503
NO?
NO.
518
00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:44,837
IT'S MY SENIOR YEAR, TOO.
519
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,273
WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND
THE WHOLE TIME
520
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:48,307
SCHEMING AND FIGHTING?
521
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:49,876
I WANT TO STOP THIS WAR,
522
00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:52,912
THIS VENDETTA,
THIS...SICILIAN THING.
523
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:53,946
IT MUST END.
524
00:21:54,013 --> 00:21:55,314
THIS SEEMS AWFUL SUDDEN.
525
00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:56,749
YES, MY TIME
IS PRECIOUS,
526
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:59,386
IF I'M NOT GOING TO
TRULY COMMIT TO A GRUDGE,
527
00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:01,421
I'D LIKE TO PUT THAT ENERGY
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
528
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:03,055
COME ON.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
529
00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:05,224
FRIENDS? SORT OF?
530
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:08,561
FRIENDS. SORT OF.
531
00:22:08,628 --> 00:22:09,762
SHAKE.
532
00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:14,066
[CAR ALARM BLARING]
533
00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:20,740
STOP DOING THAT!
534
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,815
SO YOU'LL COME IN EARLY
AND SET UP THE CONFERENCE ROOM
535
00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:30,850
FOR THE GROUP
FROM MICHIGAN?
YES, I WILL.
536
00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:32,652
OKAY. SOOKIE'S ON TOP
OF THE MENU.
537
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:35,287
LET'S MAKE SURE THE DINING
ROOM'S OPEN FOR A LATE LUNCH.
538
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:37,924
WE NEED TO CONFIRM THE NUMBER
OF ROOMS THEY'LL NEED.
539
00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:40,359
I'VE ALL OF THIS WRITTEN DOWN
ON A NOTEPAD
540
00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:41,994
RIGHT NEXT TO
MY SELF-HELP BOOK.
541
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:43,563
SORRY.
542
00:22:43,630 --> 00:22:45,998
I'M A LITTLE STRESSED
AT THIS STUPID DEPOSITION THING.
543
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:47,700
RELAX.
IT'S VERY EASY.
544
00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:49,602
IT IS?
YOU'VE DONE IT?
545
00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:51,771
ONCE. IT WAS NOTHING.
WHY WERE YOU DEPOSED?
546
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:54,006
MY NEIGHBOR HAD THIS DOG,
A FRISKY LITTLE SCAMP
547
00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:56,843
THAT USED TO LOVE YAP
TO HIS FRIENDS ALL NIGHT LONG.
548
00:22:56,909 --> 00:22:59,579
IT WAS SO CUTE.
THEN, ONE DAY, HE DISAPPEARED.
549
00:22:59,646 --> 00:23:01,213
I TOLD THE POLICE
WHAT I KNEW,
550
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,250
BUT, SADLY, THE ADORABLE LITTLE
CHATTERBOX WAS NEVER FOUND.
551
00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:06,352
IT WAS TRAGIC.
552
00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:07,987
YOU GOT RID OF A DOG?
553
00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:08,921
NO.
554
00:23:08,988 --> 00:23:10,790
HOW'D YOU GET RID
OF A DOG?
555
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:13,225
I'LL GLADLY SHOW YOU
THE TRANSCRIPT FROM THE LAWYER
556
00:23:13,292 --> 00:23:14,661
AND THE LIE-DETECTOR RESULT.
557
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,663
YOU'RE HEINOUS.
AND VERY WELL-RESTED.
558
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:19,165
LORELAI, HI.
REMEMBER ME?
559
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:21,801
OF COURSE I DO.
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN, JOE.
560
00:23:21,868 --> 00:23:23,836
THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE
YOU HAVE HERE.
561
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,672
YEAH, WELL,
IT KEEPS THE RAIN OFF.
562
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:27,440
RIGHT.
SO, IS SOOKIE AROUND?
563
00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:28,775
OH, YEAH. UM, SHE IS.
564
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:30,810
RIGHT THROUGH THERE,
IN THE KITCHEN.
565
00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:32,244
THANK YOU.
566
00:23:32,311 --> 00:23:34,881
GIVE ME THOSE.
I'LL FILE THEM WITH THE REST.
567
00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:35,915
[ BARKS ]
568
00:23:35,982 --> 00:23:37,116
OH, STOP THAT!
569
00:23:38,685 --> 00:23:40,853
HEY!
I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.
NO. DON'T RUSH.
570
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,689
I WAS FINISHED
WITH THE DINNER PREP,
571
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,324
THEN I CHANGED MY MIND
ABOUT TWO OF THE APPETIZERS.
572
00:23:45,391 --> 00:23:46,993
SOUNDS LIKE OLD TIMES.
573
00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:50,262
THIS PLACE IS A LONG WAY FROM
THE SWEATBOX OF THE DEERHILL.
574
00:23:50,329 --> 00:23:51,498
WE'VE UPGRADED A LOT
RECENTLY.
575
00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:53,132
WE GOT A NEW
REFRIGERATED PREP TABLE,
576
00:23:53,199 --> 00:23:54,967
AND WE REPLACED
THE TWO VERTICAL MIXERS.
577
00:23:55,034 --> 00:23:56,803
YOU STILL GOT
THE OLD 52-INCH VIKING.
578
00:23:56,869 --> 00:24:00,272
I JUST LIKE HOW BIG IT IS.
I BLEW IT UP ONCE.
WOW.
579
00:24:00,339 --> 00:24:01,708
BUT I HAD THEM
REBUILD IT.
580
00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:03,543
I REFUSE TO COOK
ON ANYTHING ELSE.
581
00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:05,177
STICK WITH
WHAT YOU KNOW.
EXACTLY.
582
00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:07,046
TASTE THIS.
583
00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:08,314
MAYBE A BIT MORE BRANDY.
584
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:09,549
I KNEW YOU'D SAY THAT.
585
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:10,883
WELL, PEOPLE LIKE BRANDY.
586
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,318
YOU MEAN YOU LIKE BRANDY.
587
00:24:12,384 --> 00:24:13,786
AND I'M PEOPLE.
588
00:24:13,853 --> 00:24:15,622
WE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD TIME
TOGETHER.
589
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:18,057
IT WAS A GOOD GROUP.
YOU MADE IT
BETTER.
590
00:24:18,124 --> 00:24:19,191
BECAUSE I KEPT YOU FOOLS
591
00:24:19,258 --> 00:24:21,427
FROM DRIVING OFF THE SIDE
OF A MOUNTAIN.
592
00:24:21,494 --> 00:24:23,062
I'M GLAD
WE RAN INTO EACH OTHER.
593
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,097
IT'S NOT OFTEN YOU GET
A SECOND CHANCE.
594
00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:27,734
I CAN'T TELL YOU
HOW MANY TIMES I KICKED MYSELF
595
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,402
FOR NOT ASKING YOU OUT.
EVERY TIME I GOT CLOSE,
596
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,673
WE'D END UP TALKING ABOUT THE
BEST WAY TO MAKE CALF'S LIVER.
597
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:35,407
SAUTEED WITH
CARAMELIZED ONIONS.
EXACTLY.
598
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,243
WHEN I SAW YOU
AT THE CENTER,
599
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,678
IT WAS LIKE FATE WAS SAYING,
600
00:24:38,745 --> 00:24:42,381
"HERE YOU GO, MAN.
TRY NOT TO SCREW IT UP AGAIN."
601
00:24:42,448 --> 00:24:43,983
UH-HUH.
602
00:24:44,050 --> 00:24:47,319
UM, COULD YOU JUST,
UH, STIR?
603
00:24:47,386 --> 00:24:49,155
YEAH.
I'LL -- I'LL BE BACK.
604
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:51,824
OH, NO, SIR.
605
00:24:51,891 --> 00:24:53,459
WE DON'T OFFER
A COMPLIMENTARY BREAKFAST.
606
00:24:53,526 --> 00:24:54,694
He thinks it's a date!
607
00:24:54,761 --> 00:24:57,129
UH, YES, SIR.
I REALIZE THE RAMADA DOES.
608
00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:58,330
Lorelai!
609
00:24:58,397 --> 00:24:59,599
UH, WELL, IF YOU LIKE,
610
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:02,635
I COULD RECOMMEND
A FEW PLACES IN TOWN.
611
00:25:02,702 --> 00:25:04,070
UH, OKAY. UH-HUH.
SURE.
612
00:25:04,136 --> 00:25:07,106
WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO YOUR WIFE
AND CALL ME BACK?
613
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:08,641
OKAY. BYE.
614
00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:10,509
HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON?
615
00:25:10,577 --> 00:25:11,978
HE THINKS IT'S A DATE.
WHAT?
616
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:14,847
JOE -- HE THINKS
THIS IS A DATE.
IS HE CRAZY?
617
00:25:14,914 --> 00:25:17,083
YOU WERE THERE.
IT'S NOT A DATE, IS IT?
618
00:25:17,149 --> 00:25:19,919
NO! THE TWO OF YOU WERE GONNA
GO BUST FELDSTER'S CHOPS.
619
00:25:19,986 --> 00:25:21,654
BUSTING CHOPS IS NOT
A DATE.
620
00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:23,690
HE KEEPS SAYING
HOW HE LIKED ME THEN
621
00:25:23,756 --> 00:25:25,524
AND HOW THIS IS
HIS SECOND CHANCE.
622
00:25:25,592 --> 00:25:27,359
HE'S LIKED YOU
FOR TEN YEARS?
623
00:25:27,426 --> 00:25:28,695
YES.
WOW.
624
00:25:28,761 --> 00:25:30,963
THAT IS SOME SERIOUS
"GREAT GATSBY" PINING.
625
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:32,765
I KNOW.
YOU'RE HIS DAISY.
626
00:25:32,832 --> 00:25:34,701
I AM?
I'M HIS DAISY.
627
00:25:34,767 --> 00:25:36,235
[ GASPS ]
I'M SOMEONE'S DAISY.
628
00:25:36,302 --> 00:25:38,070
IT'S VERY FLATTERING.
IT IS VERY FLATTERING.
629
00:25:38,137 --> 00:25:41,107
BUT I DIDN'T BRING IT ON, DID I?
DID I FLIRT?
630
00:25:41,173 --> 00:25:42,642
YOU DID NOT FLIRT.
631
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:44,577
YOU CAN'T FLIRT
WHEN TALKING ABOUT BUNG.
632
00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:45,912
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
633
00:25:45,978 --> 00:25:48,314
HE READ SOMETHING INTO IT
BECAUSE HE WANTED.
634
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,616
WHAT'S JACKSON GONNA SAY?
635
00:25:49,682 --> 00:25:51,483
IT'S A MISUNDERSTANDING.
JACKSON WILL BE FINE.
636
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:53,720
JUST GO IN THERE
AND EXPLAIN IT TO JOE.
637
00:25:53,786 --> 00:25:55,755
WHAT DO I TELL HIM?
HE'S WAITED YEARS.
638
00:25:55,822 --> 00:25:57,890
HOW DO YOU HAND OUT
THAT KINDA REJECTION?
639
00:25:57,957 --> 00:25:59,926
I COULD TELL HIM I'VE BECOME
A LESBIAN.
640
00:25:59,992 --> 00:26:01,894
YEAH.
OR "I'M MARRIED" MIGHT WORK.
641
00:26:01,961 --> 00:26:04,797
RIGHT. I'M MARRIED. GOOD.
THAT'S VERY GOOD.
642
00:26:04,864 --> 00:26:07,566
IT'S GONNA BE FINE. JOE'S
A NICE GUY WITH TASTE.
643
00:26:07,634 --> 00:26:09,335
I'M HIS DAISY.
BE HAPPY LATER.
644
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,370
RIGHT.
I'M GOIN' IN.
645
00:26:11,437 --> 00:26:13,105
INDEPENDENCE INN.
LORELAI SPEAKING.
646
00:26:13,172 --> 00:26:17,109
SO, AT THE RISK OF SEEMING LIKE
JOE THE DRUNKEN CHEF,
647
00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:19,545
I ADDED SOME MORE PORT
TO THE CUMBERLAND SAUCE.
648
00:26:19,612 --> 00:26:20,980
NOW, JUST PROMISE
TO TRY IT.
649
00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:23,015
JOE, WE NEED TO TALK.
WOW. YOU'VE MELLOWED.
650
00:26:23,082 --> 00:26:25,351
BEFORE YOU WOULD'VE
JUST CALLED ME AN IDIOT
651
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:26,786
AND DUMPED IT IN THE TRASH.
652
00:26:26,853 --> 00:26:29,021
IT'S NOT THAT. IT --
YOU PUT IN MORE PORT?
653
00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:32,491
THIS IS A PHEASANT SAUCE, NOT
THE PUNCH BOWL AT A FRAT PARTY.
654
00:26:32,558 --> 00:26:33,926
JUST TRY IT.
NO! NO, NO.
655
00:26:33,993 --> 00:26:35,762
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT
TO SAY.
656
00:26:35,828 --> 00:26:37,664
IT'S JUST...
657
00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:39,165
THERE'S BEEN
A MISUNDERSTANDING.
658
00:26:39,231 --> 00:26:42,534
I THOUGHT THIS THING TONIGHT WAS
JUST A...FRIENDS THING.
659
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,270
YOU KNOW?
NOT LIKE A DATE THING.
660
00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:46,906
OH.
NOT THAT GOING OUT WITH YOU
WOULD BE BAD --
661
00:26:46,973 --> 00:26:49,909
EXCEPT IT WOULD BE VERY,
VERY BAD.
662
00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:50,743
WOW.
663
00:26:50,810 --> 00:26:52,111
BUT ONLY BECAUSE I'M MARRIED.
664
00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:54,113
I MEANT TO SAY THAT FIRST!
SEE?
665
00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:56,048
LAST MAY I JUST --
WHERE'S MY --
666
00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:57,917
OH, HANG ON.
[ LAUGHS ]
667
00:26:57,984 --> 00:27:00,987
SEE, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE...
WHEN I HOLD MY HAND UP,
668
00:27:01,053 --> 00:27:03,422
'CAUSE OTHERWISE,
"WHAT'S SHE DOING?" RIGHT?
669
00:27:03,489 --> 00:27:04,857
OKAY. HERE.
670
00:27:04,924 --> 00:27:06,558
I TAKE IT OFF
WHEN I'M COOKING,
671
00:27:06,625 --> 00:27:09,996
BUT THERE IT IS, RIGHT WHERE IT
SHOULD BE -- ON MY FINGER.
672
00:27:10,062 --> 00:27:11,864
YOU'RE MARRIED.
YES, I AM.
673
00:27:11,931 --> 00:27:13,299
I HOPE THAT'S OKAY.
674
00:27:13,365 --> 00:27:16,135
IF YOUR HUSBAND'S GOOD WITH IT,
WHO AM I TO COMPLAIN?
675
00:27:16,202 --> 00:27:18,204
YOU'RE NOT MAD?
WHY WOULD I BE MAD?
676
00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:20,572
BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT
THIS WAS A DATE.
677
00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,608
FEELING A LITTLE STUPID,
BUT NOT MAD.
678
00:27:22,675 --> 00:27:24,443
HERE. LET ME GIVE YOU
SOME MONEY.
679
00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:25,778
I DIDN'T SPEND ANY MONEY.
680
00:27:25,845 --> 00:27:27,613
LET ME GIVE YOU
SOME MONEY ANYWAY.
681
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,048
THE ONLY WAY I'LL BE MAD
682
00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:32,184
IS IF YOU THROW THAT SAUCE OUT
BEFORE YOU TRY IT, OKAY?
683
00:27:32,251 --> 00:27:35,454
WHY DON'T WE MAKE A PLAN TO
HARASS FELDMAN SOME OTHER TIME?
684
00:27:35,521 --> 00:27:36,756
YOU CAN BRING
YOUR HUSBAND,
685
00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:39,391
AND I'LL SEE IF I CAN GET
A REAL DATE.
686
00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:40,426
[ LAUGHS ]
THAT'D BE FUN.
687
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:41,961
[ LAUGHS ]
688
00:27:42,028 --> 00:27:45,131
WE COULD EVEN GET
SOME OF THE OLD GANG TOGETHER.
689
00:27:45,197 --> 00:27:47,867
I'LL DRIVE.
[ LAUGHS ]
690
00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:51,137
I GUESS THIS WILL TEACH ME
NOT TO WAIT TEN YEARS NEXT TIME.
691
00:27:51,203 --> 00:27:52,772
ANYWAY,
I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL.
692
00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:55,775
BYE, JOE.
693
00:27:55,842 --> 00:27:57,777
SEE? HE'S SMILING.
694
00:27:57,844 --> 00:28:00,212
I KNEW IT WAS NOTHING TO GET
WORKED UP OVER.
695
00:28:00,279 --> 00:28:02,248
YOU OBVIOUSLY LET HIM DOWN
VERY WELL.
696
00:28:02,314 --> 00:28:05,151
AND NOW MAYBE YOU GUYS
CAN BE FRIENDS.
697
00:28:05,217 --> 00:28:07,419
I'M A WHORE!
698
00:28:07,486 --> 00:28:10,056
THIS IS SILLY.
I KNOW HOW TO ANSWER A QUESTION.
699
00:28:10,122 --> 00:28:11,357
THIS IS YOUR FIRST
DEPOSITION.
700
00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:13,392
GRANDMA'S LAWYERS
WANT YOU TO BE PREPARED.
701
00:28:13,459 --> 00:28:14,727
SAMPLE QUESTIONS.
GREAT.
702
00:28:14,794 --> 00:28:16,963
IT'S BAD ENOUGH I HAVE TO GIVE
A DEPOSITION.
703
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:18,798
NOW I HAVE TO STUDY
FOR IT?
704
00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:20,266
SHALL WE BEGIN?
GO AHEAD.
705
00:28:20,332 --> 00:28:23,069
"PLEASE DESCRIBE HOW YOUR MOTHER
RUNS HER HOUSEHOLD."
706
00:28:23,135 --> 00:28:25,304
WELL, DO YOU REMEMBER
THE ROWING SCENE IN "BEN-HUR"?
707
00:28:25,371 --> 00:28:27,339
MOM.
I'M SORRY.
DID THAT REFERENCE DATE ME?
708
00:28:27,406 --> 00:28:29,575
SHOULD I HAVE GONE WITH
THE "EXPRESS YOURSELF" VIDEO?
709
00:28:29,641 --> 00:28:31,811
SHOULD WE STOP?
I'M SORRY.
ASK ME ANOTHER.
710
00:28:31,878 --> 00:28:33,245
"WOULD YOU
SAY YOUR MOTHER IS
711
00:28:33,312 --> 00:28:35,081
AN EASY WOMAN
TO GET ALONG WITH?"
712
00:28:35,147 --> 00:28:37,116
NO. NEXT.
YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS
SERIOUSLY.
713
00:28:37,183 --> 00:28:38,851
I AM TAKING THIS
SERIOUSLY.
714
00:28:38,918 --> 00:28:40,319
WELL,
YOU CAN'T SAY THAT.
715
00:28:40,386 --> 00:28:43,255
OH, WOW.
SO YOU WANT ME TO LIE.
716
00:28:43,322 --> 00:28:44,356
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIE.
717
00:28:44,423 --> 00:28:46,725
IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW YOU PRESENT
THE TRUTH.
718
00:28:46,793 --> 00:28:48,594
FOR EXAMPLE,
YOU COULD HAVE SAID,
719
00:28:48,660 --> 00:28:50,096
"MY MOTHER IS
A PERFECTIONIST."
720
00:28:50,162 --> 00:28:53,065
UH-HUH. AND DO YOU PROMISE
TO VISIT MOMMY IN JAIL?
721
00:28:53,132 --> 00:28:54,666
YES, I DO.
OKAY, THEN.
722
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,036
MY MOTHER IS
A PERFECTIONIST.
723
00:28:57,103 --> 00:28:58,470
OH, HEY.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
724
00:28:58,537 --> 00:29:01,507
WELL, I'M GOING TO DOOSE'S
BECAUSE WE ARE OUT OF FOOD.
725
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,242
HOW CAN YOU BE
OUT OF FOOD?
726
00:29:03,309 --> 00:29:05,878
IT STARTS WITH, "JESS, YOU DO
THE ORDERING THIS WEEK,"
727
00:29:05,945 --> 00:29:08,314
IT ENDS WITH ME SELLING KIRK
A LETTUCE SANDWICH.
728
00:29:08,380 --> 00:29:09,515
WE'VE EATEN THOSE.
729
00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:12,151
I'M GONNA PICK UP SOME STUFF
TO HOLD US OVER.
730
00:29:12,218 --> 00:29:13,786
GET SOME BURGERS.
AND TATER TOTS.
731
00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:15,221
AND PICKLES.
HOLD ON A SEC.
732
00:29:15,287 --> 00:29:16,956
UH, BURGERS, TATER TOTS,
PICKLES --
733
00:29:17,023 --> 00:29:18,590
YOU WANT CHEESE
ON THE BURGER?
734
00:29:18,657 --> 00:29:19,892
CHEDDAR.
AND SWISS.
735
00:29:19,959 --> 00:29:21,560
DESSERT?
WE'VE TO DECIDE
RIGHT NOW?
736
00:29:21,627 --> 00:29:22,862
I WOULD SERIOUSLY
ADVISE IT.
737
00:29:22,929 --> 00:29:23,996
PIE.
CHERRY.
738
00:29:24,063 --> 00:29:25,264
AND WHIPPED CREAM.
739
00:29:25,331 --> 00:29:27,233
AND DENTAL FLOSS.
AND PAPER TOWELS.
740
00:29:27,299 --> 00:29:29,768
AND PEOPLE MAGAZINE.
WE'RE REALLY HUNGRY.
741
00:29:32,972 --> 00:29:36,075
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
742
00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:48,087
PARIS. GOOD.
I SO NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
743
00:29:49,889 --> 00:29:52,558
ARE YOU LOST?
744
00:29:52,624 --> 00:29:54,093
LISTEN, FIRST OF ALL,
745
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,563
I REALLY WANT TO COMMEND YOU
ON YOUR JOB AS PRESIDENT SO FAR.
746
00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:58,597
THANK YOU.
747
00:29:58,664 --> 00:30:00,032
THE WAY YOU NEGOTIATE
AROUND
748
00:30:00,099 --> 00:30:02,701
SOME OF THOSE CONVOLUTED
SCHOOL ISSUES -- MIND-BLOWING.
749
00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:04,303
I WATCH IN AWE.
UH-HUH.
750
00:30:04,370 --> 00:30:06,305
AND THAT'S WHY THIS IS
SO HARD.
751
00:30:06,372 --> 00:30:08,340
BECAUSE I HAVE MAJOR RESPECT
FOR YOU,
752
00:30:08,407 --> 00:30:10,042
AND THE LAST THING
I'D WANT
753
00:30:10,109 --> 00:30:12,879
IS FOR YOU TO GET THE WRONG
IMPRESSION ABOUT MY LOYALTIES.
754
00:30:12,945 --> 00:30:14,246
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
755
00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:16,382
THESE WERE SHOVED
IN MY LOCKER THIS MORNING.
756
00:30:16,448 --> 00:30:19,451
AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
SO I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
757
00:30:19,518 --> 00:30:21,687
"I'LL JUST SHOW THEM TO PARIS
AND EXPLAIN,
758
00:30:21,753 --> 00:30:22,721
AND SHE'LL UNDERSTAND."
759
00:30:22,788 --> 00:30:24,556
EXPLAIN WHAT?
WHAT IS THIS?
760
00:30:24,623 --> 00:30:26,058
RORY CAME TO ME
761
00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,294
AND SAID SHE WANTED TO TALK
ABOUT SOME THINGS --
762
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:31,197
POLICY, THE PROM,
THE SENIOR GIFT, ET CETERA --
763
00:30:31,263 --> 00:30:34,033
SO, OF COURSE, I SAID,
"WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT THEM
764
00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:35,868
AT THE STUDENT COUNCIL MEETING
WITH PARIS?"
765
00:30:35,935 --> 00:30:38,304
AND SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO
DO THIS WITHOUT PARIS.
766
00:30:38,370 --> 00:30:40,339
SHE SAID,
"PARIS IS JUST TOO WRAPPED UP
767
00:30:40,406 --> 00:30:43,175
IN THAT BOYFRIEND OF HERS
TO CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS."
768
00:30:43,242 --> 00:30:45,411
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,
SO I WENT.
769
00:30:45,477 --> 00:30:48,047
AND THEN I FOUND THESE,
AND I'M JUST SO UPSET.
770
00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:50,282
I WOULD NEVER INTENTIONALLY DO
ANYTHING BEHIND YOUR BACK.
771
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:53,119
I PROMISE -- THE NEXT TIME
RORY TRIES TO GET ME TO,
772
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:55,354
I'M JUST GONNA SAY,
"TALK TO THE HAND."
773
00:30:55,421 --> 00:30:56,388
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
774
00:30:56,455 --> 00:30:58,357
YES,
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
775
00:30:58,424 --> 00:31:00,192
ARE YOU MAD?
SAY YOU'RE NOT MAD.
776
00:31:00,259 --> 00:31:02,828
I JUST COULDN'T LIVE
IF I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAD.
777
00:31:02,895 --> 00:31:04,630
NO, I'M NOT MAD.
778
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:08,667
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
779
00:31:08,734 --> 00:31:10,869
WELL, THANK GOD FOR THAT.
780
00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:16,275
OKAY, CLASS, WE WILL BEGIN
IN FIVE MINUTES.
781
00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:19,278
DOES YOUR HELMET SMELL?
[ SNIFFS ]
782
00:31:19,345 --> 00:31:20,913
I ALWAYS GET ONE
THAT SMELLS.
783
00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:22,949
YOU'D THINK THE BRAIN TRUST
BEHIND P.E.
784
00:31:23,015 --> 00:31:24,383
COULD COME UP WITH SOME SPORT
785
00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:26,018
THAT DIDN'T GIVE YOU
HELMET HAIR.
786
00:31:26,085 --> 00:31:28,054
LIKE BADMINTON.
OR STRIPTEASE AEROBICS.
787
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,888
WHAT?
IT'S REALLY BIG IN L.A.
788
00:31:29,956 --> 00:31:31,991
YOU DON'T ACTUALLY
HAVE TO STRIP.
789
00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:33,559
DO THE OTHER PEOPLE
THROW MONEY?
790
00:31:33,625 --> 00:31:36,395
FINE. MOCK. BUT HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN AN OVERWEIGHT STRIPPER?
791
00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:39,565
THE WORD "NO" SEEMS SO WILDLY
INADEQUATE ALL OF A SUDDEN.
792
00:31:39,631 --> 00:31:42,434
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
WASHING MY HANDS.
793
00:31:42,501 --> 00:31:44,670
ALRIGHT, EVERYONE.
TAKE YOUR PLACES.
794
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:47,839
WE WILL WARM UP WITH YOUR
COUNTER-SIXTE-RIPOSTE QUARTE.
795
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:49,175
MELANIE, PLEASE LEAD THE GROUP.
796
00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:51,343
OH, MY GOD.
THERE'S A HAIR IN MINE.
797
00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,579
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND THINK OF ENGLAND, HONEY.
798
00:31:53,645 --> 00:31:56,015
DOESN'T IT SEEM STRANGE TO BE
PRACTICING A SPORT
799
00:31:56,082 --> 00:31:57,649
WHOSE ORIGINAL PURPOSE WAS TO
KILL PEOPLE?
800
00:31:57,716 --> 00:32:00,919
IT'S LIKE IF HIGH SCHOOLS OF THE
FUTURE HAD TEAMS IN ARTILLERY
801
00:32:00,987 --> 00:32:03,422
OR HIGH-ALTITUDE BOMBING
OR SOMETHING.
802
00:32:03,489 --> 00:32:04,423
BEGINNING SALUTE.
803
00:32:04,490 --> 00:32:07,459
EN GARDE.
RIGHT-SIDE ADVANCE.
804
00:32:07,526 --> 00:32:09,161
YOU OKAY?
RIGHT-SIDE RETREAT.
805
00:32:09,228 --> 00:32:10,862
WHY DO YOU ASK?
AND LUNGE.
806
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:12,098
YOU JUST SEEM WEIRD.
807
00:32:12,164 --> 00:32:13,665
LEFT-SIDE ADVANCE.
808
00:32:13,732 --> 00:32:15,634
EASY, THERE, PARIS.
LEFT-SIDE RETREAT.
809
00:32:15,701 --> 00:32:17,469
WE'RE FENCING, RORY,
NOT PLAYING PATTY-CAKE.
810
00:32:17,536 --> 00:32:20,106
YOU KNOW, IT'S INTERESTING
HOW YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMEONE.
811
00:32:20,172 --> 00:32:21,407
RIGHT-SIDE QUARTE LUNGE.
812
00:32:21,473 --> 00:32:23,642
YOU TRUST A PERSON,
YOU RELY ON A PERSON,
813
00:32:23,709 --> 00:32:25,877
YOU TURN AROUND
AND REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN HAD.
814
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:28,247
EVER EXPERIENCE THAT?
RIPOSTE.
815
00:32:28,314 --> 00:32:31,050
I HATE BEING HAD.
WHY ARE YOU
TELLING ME THIS?
816
00:32:31,117 --> 00:32:33,085
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE
PARRYING THAT HARD.
817
00:32:33,152 --> 00:32:34,353
MAYBE I SHOULD TURN AROUND
818
00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:36,588
SO YOU CAN JUST STICK IT
IN MY BACK.
819
00:32:36,655 --> 00:32:38,624
WHAT'RE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
I SAW THE PICTURES.
820
00:32:38,690 --> 00:32:40,259
WHAT PICTURES?
YOU KNOW WHAT PICTURES.
821
00:32:40,326 --> 00:32:41,827
OBVIOUSLY I DON'T KNOW
WHAT PICTURES.
822
00:32:41,893 --> 00:32:44,930
THE PICTURES OF YOU AND FRANCIE
IN THE PARKING GARAGE
823
00:32:44,997 --> 00:32:45,964
TALKING ABOUT ME.
824
00:32:46,032 --> 00:32:47,399
DON'T MAKE THAT FACE
AT ME.
825
00:32:47,466 --> 00:32:48,700
WHAT?
I'M WEARING A MASK.
826
00:32:48,767 --> 00:32:51,337
THE "I'M RORY.
DON'T YOU WANT TO PET ME?" FACE.
827
00:32:51,403 --> 00:32:52,771
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN MEETING.
828
00:32:52,838 --> 00:32:54,040
WE HAVEN'T.
WE MET ONCE --
829
00:32:54,106 --> 00:32:55,274
AHA! YOU ADMIT IT!
830
00:32:55,341 --> 00:32:56,708
IT WASN'T
WHAT YOU THINK!
831
00:32:56,775 --> 00:32:58,144
BRUTUS!
832
00:32:58,210 --> 00:33:01,180
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
833
00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:04,683
[ FOILS CLASHING ]
834
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:11,257
PARIS, YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME.
FRANCIE WANTED TO MEET.
835
00:33:11,323 --> 00:33:13,292
SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO CALL
A TRUCE.
836
00:33:13,359 --> 00:33:15,494
SHE TOOK THOSE PICTURES.
SHE'S SETTING ME UP.
837
00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:17,029
SHE'S TRYING TO
MANIPULATE YOU.
838
00:33:17,096 --> 00:33:18,364
YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW
839
00:33:18,430 --> 00:33:19,998
WHEN SOMEONE'S TRYING TO
MANIPULATE ME?
840
00:33:20,066 --> 00:33:21,433
BUT IT DOESN'T CHANGE
THE FACT
841
00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:23,669
THAT YOU MET WITH HER
BEHIND MY BACK.
842
00:33:23,735 --> 00:33:24,870
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
843
00:33:24,936 --> 00:33:26,905
I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU.
YOU WERE?
844
00:33:26,972 --> 00:33:29,141
YOU MEAN,
IN BETWEEN BETRAYING ME.
845
00:33:29,208 --> 00:33:33,011
AND SELLING ME OUT.
YOU WERE TRYING TO HELP ME?
846
00:33:33,079 --> 00:33:35,614
STOP IT!
MAKE ME.
847
00:33:37,783 --> 00:33:39,051
COME BACK HERE, GILMORE!
848
00:33:39,118 --> 00:33:41,520
COME BACK AND FIGHT
LIKE A MAN!
849
00:33:41,587 --> 00:33:43,021
[ WHIMPERS ]
850
00:33:44,323 --> 00:33:46,325
[ GRUNTS, SIGHS ]
851
00:33:49,095 --> 00:33:51,563
AND THE WORST PART IS,
YOU TOLD HER ABOUT JAMIE.
852
00:33:51,630 --> 00:33:54,533
I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER
CONSIDERED YOU MY BEST FRIEND.
853
00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:04,510
I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
854
00:34:04,576 --> 00:34:06,945
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I GOT SUCKED IN LIKE THAT.
855
00:34:07,012 --> 00:34:08,180
THAT FRANCIE IS
PURE EVIL,
856
00:34:08,247 --> 00:34:09,715
SO SHE'LL PROBABLY WIND UP
PRESIDENT.
857
00:34:09,781 --> 00:34:12,351
PARIS IS SO UPSET. SHE TOTALLY
THINKS I BETRAYED HER.
858
00:34:12,418 --> 00:34:14,786
SHE'LL CALM DOWN.
PARIS HAS NEVER
CALMED DOWN.
859
00:34:14,853 --> 00:34:17,022
I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS
HER BEST FRIEND.
860
00:34:17,089 --> 00:34:18,157
I-I FEEL AWFUL.
861
00:34:18,224 --> 00:34:19,925
IF YOU WANT TO
MAKE THINGS RIGHT,
862
00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:23,195
JUST GO BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW
AND LET HER STAB YOU.
GREAT IDEA.
863
00:34:23,262 --> 00:34:26,432
I'M NOTHING IF NOT FULL
OF SUGGESTIONS.
OR FULL OF SOMETHING.
864
00:34:26,498 --> 00:34:27,299
HEY, GRANDMA.
865
00:34:27,366 --> 00:34:28,800
HI, MOM.
COME IN. IT'S COLD.
866
00:34:28,867 --> 00:34:31,837
DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HER --
ARRANGE A SIT-DOWN?
867
00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,339
NO, THANKS.
COME ON!
868
00:34:33,405 --> 00:34:35,374
WE'LL HAVE IT
IN AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT.
869
00:34:35,441 --> 00:34:37,409
YOU'LL GET UP, GO
TO THE BATHROOM -- THANKS --
870
00:34:37,476 --> 00:34:40,045
AND COME OUT SHOOTING,
THEN I'LL SEND YOU TO ITALY.
871
00:34:40,112 --> 00:34:41,680
I DO WANT TO GO
TO ITALY.
872
00:34:41,747 --> 00:34:44,850
TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE,
MY FRIEND.
873
00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:46,185
IS EVERYTHING OKAY, MOM?
874
00:34:46,252 --> 00:34:48,420
OF COURSE IT'S OKAY.
WHY WOULDN'T IT BE OKAY?
875
00:34:48,487 --> 00:34:50,055
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU SEEM QUIET.
876
00:34:50,122 --> 00:34:52,558
DO I?
I GUESS I DO.
877
00:34:52,624 --> 00:34:55,161
I DON'T REALLY HAVE A LOT
TO SAY, ACTUALLY.
878
00:34:55,227 --> 00:34:58,164
I KNOW.
WHY DON'T I READ TO YOU INSTEAD?
879
00:34:58,230 --> 00:34:59,731
WHAT'S THAT?
THIS? NOTHING.
880
00:34:59,798 --> 00:35:02,134
JUST YOUR DEPOSITION.
HOW DID YOU GET --
881
00:35:02,201 --> 00:35:03,702
SHH. LISTEN. IT'S FUN.
882
00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:05,471
OKAY.
883
00:35:05,537 --> 00:35:08,574
QUESTION -- "WOULD YOU SAY YOUR
MOTHER IS A TOLERANT WOMAN?"
884
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:09,475
OH, BOY.
885
00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:11,410
ANSWER -- "UM, WELL, SURE."
886
00:35:11,477 --> 00:35:13,011
WHAT? I SAID YOU WERE.
887
00:35:13,078 --> 00:35:15,647
YOU SAID "SURE."
WHICH, TO MOST PEOPLE,
MEANS YES.
888
00:35:15,714 --> 00:35:19,585
TO MOST PEOPLE IT DOES, BUT
YOUR "SURE" IS ALWAYS SARCASTIC.
889
00:35:19,651 --> 00:35:21,620
I DO NOT HAVE A SARCASTIC
"SURE."
890
00:35:21,687 --> 00:35:22,621
DO I?
891
00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:25,157
PICK SPOT ON CARPET
AND STARE.
892
00:35:25,224 --> 00:35:27,793
QUESTION -- "WHY HAS YOUR MOTHER
DISMISSED MAIDS IN THE PAST?"
893
00:35:27,859 --> 00:35:29,961
MOM!
ANSWER --
"DIFFERENT REASONS."
894
00:35:30,028 --> 00:35:31,029
THAT'S TRUE, RIGHT?
895
00:35:31,096 --> 00:35:32,431
"CAN YOU EXPAND ON THAT?"
896
00:35:32,498 --> 00:35:35,501
ANSWER -- "GEE,
HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE?"
897
00:35:35,567 --> 00:35:37,469
OKAY. SEE --
"IF YOU GUYS HAVE LUNCH
898
00:35:37,536 --> 00:35:38,937
"OR AN AFTERNOON SQUASH GAME --
899
00:35:39,004 --> 00:35:41,373
"YOU LOOK LIKE THE KINDA GUYS
WHO PLAY SQUASH --
900
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,141
"HEY, WHY IS IT CALLED SQUASH?
901
00:35:43,209 --> 00:35:45,844
"IS IT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE
FRUIT -- OR VEGETABLE?
902
00:35:45,911 --> 00:35:48,280
"SQUASH IS A VEGETABLE,
THOUGH, IF YOU ASK ME,
903
00:35:48,347 --> 00:35:50,316
"IT'S GROSS
NO MATTER WHAT YOU CALL IT.
904
00:35:50,382 --> 00:35:51,617
"ANYWAY, WHAT I'M SAYING
905
00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:53,652
IS YOU MIGHT WANT TO CLEAR
YOUR AFTERNOON."
906
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,622
I WAS FLUSTERED.
HE WAS USING LAWYER TRICKS.
907
00:35:56,688 --> 00:35:58,857
BY ASKING YOU
TO EXPAND?
NOW YOU PIPE IN?
908
00:35:58,924 --> 00:36:01,727
DIDN'T I TELL YOU
THIS WAS IMPORTANT?
YES, YOU DID.
909
00:36:01,793 --> 00:36:04,796
YOU COULDN'T FIND IT
IN YOUR HEART
910
00:36:04,863 --> 00:36:07,699
TO PUT ASIDE YOUR PERSONAL
ANTAGONISM TOWARD ME FOR ONE DAY
911
00:36:07,766 --> 00:36:09,768
AND HELP ME OUT?
THIS IS NOT FAIR.
912
00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:12,204
I SAID A LOT OF NICE THINGS
ABOUT YOU.
913
00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:13,672
OH, REALLY?
914
00:36:13,739 --> 00:36:16,107
"WOULD YOU SAY YOUR MOTHER SETS
IMPOSSIBLE GOALS
915
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:18,344
"WHICH PEOPLE CANNOT HELP
BUT FAIL TO REACH,
916
00:36:18,410 --> 00:36:21,012
"THEREBY REINFORCING HER
ALREADY-FORMED OPINION
917
00:36:21,079 --> 00:36:22,314
OF THEIR DEFICIENCIES?"
918
00:36:22,381 --> 00:36:24,483
ANSWER --
"ONLY FOR HER DAUGHTER."
919
00:36:24,550 --> 00:36:26,252
OKAY, NOT THERE,
BUT KEEP FLIPPING.
920
00:36:26,318 --> 00:36:29,087
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT
DINNER IS READY, MRS. GILMORE.
921
00:36:29,154 --> 00:36:31,923
DINNER! HEY!
DINNER'S READY!
922
00:36:31,990 --> 00:36:34,926
WHO'S HUNGRY
BESIDES ME?
923
00:36:34,993 --> 00:36:37,363
I'D KEEP IT WARM.
WE'RE GONNA BE HERE AWHILE.
924
00:36:37,429 --> 00:36:38,964
OKAY. GO AHEAD.
925
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:41,767
"WOULD YOU CALL YOUR MOTHER
AN EXTREMELY CRITICAL WOMAN?
926
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:43,469
A LONG PAUSE."
927
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:45,304
WHY WAS THERE A LONG PAUSE,
LORELAI?
928
00:36:45,371 --> 00:36:47,539
BECAUSE I WAS DELIBERATELY
TRYING TO HURT YOU, MOM.
929
00:36:47,606 --> 00:36:50,809
"ON A SCALE FROM ONE TO TEN,
WHAT WOULD YOU RATE YOUR MOTHER
930
00:36:50,876 --> 00:36:53,044
IN TERMS OF COMPASSION
FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS?"
931
00:36:53,111 --> 00:36:54,480
WANT TO GUESS
WHAT SHE SAID?
932
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:55,914
NO, THANK YOU.
MOM.
933
00:36:55,981 --> 00:36:57,316
HANG ON A SECOND, LORELAI.
934
00:36:57,383 --> 00:36:59,751
I JUST WANT TO SKIP
TO THE "BEN-HUR" REFERENCE.
935
00:37:01,253 --> 00:37:03,355
YEAH. I DID.
936
00:37:46,064 --> 00:37:47,198
SOOKIE, I'M HOME.
937
00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:48,400
I GOT THE --
SURPRISE!
938
00:37:48,467 --> 00:37:49,535
WHAT IS THIS?
939
00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:50,836
I MADE YOU DINNER.
940
00:37:50,902 --> 00:37:52,504
IT SMELLS TERRIFIC.
941
00:37:52,571 --> 00:37:55,307
LAMB CHOPS WITH SICILIAN OLIVES,
ROSEMARY, AND GARLIC
942
00:37:55,374 --> 00:37:56,975
AND A WARM
POTATO-AND-CHORIZO SALAD.
943
00:37:57,042 --> 00:38:00,479
I LOVE LAMB CHOPS WITH SICILIAN
OLIVES, ROSEMARY, AND GARLIC
944
00:38:00,546 --> 00:38:02,080
AND A WARM
POTATO-AND-CHORIZO SALAD.
945
00:38:02,147 --> 00:38:03,148
I KNOW.
946
00:38:03,214 --> 00:38:04,683
WHAT'S THAT?
BEEF JERKY.
947
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:06,518
YOU MADE BEEF JERKY
FOR ME.
948
00:38:06,585 --> 00:38:07,753
AND THERE'S CORN BREAD
949
00:38:07,819 --> 00:38:09,388
AND FRIED MARSHMALLOW PIE
FOR DESSERT!
950
00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:11,657
AND YOU HAVE CCR ON.
WELL, YOU LIKE CCR.
951
00:38:11,723 --> 00:38:14,460
I KNOW I LIKE CCR.
YOU DON'T LIKE CCR.
952
00:38:14,526 --> 00:38:17,363
SOMETIMES I LIKE CCR,
AND TONIGHT I LIKE CCR.
953
00:38:17,429 --> 00:38:19,197
[ GASPS ]
YOU CHEATED ON ME!
954
00:38:19,264 --> 00:38:20,399
NO!
OH, MY GOD!
955
00:38:20,466 --> 00:38:22,334
I JUST FLIRTED --
ACCIDENTALLY!
956
00:38:22,401 --> 00:38:24,370
TURN IT OFF!
LET ME EXPLAIN!
957
00:38:24,436 --> 00:38:25,804
EVERY TIME I HEAR IT NOW
958
00:38:25,871 --> 00:38:28,039
IT'LL REMIND ME
MY WIFE CHEATED ON ME!
959
00:38:28,106 --> 00:38:29,408
FLIRTED! ACCIDENTALLY!
960
00:38:29,475 --> 00:38:32,478
YOU RUINED CREEDENCE
FOR ME!
961
00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:35,814
I'M GOING TO BED.
962
00:38:35,881 --> 00:38:36,948
AT 9:30?
963
00:38:37,015 --> 00:38:39,184
GOING A WHOLE DAY
WITHOUT TALKING TO ANYONE
964
00:38:39,250 --> 00:38:40,419
IS A LOT MORE TIRING.
965
00:38:40,486 --> 00:38:41,920
I HATE THOSE GIRLS.
IT'S FINE.
966
00:38:41,987 --> 00:38:44,756
IT WAS THE FIRST LUNCH THAT
DIDN'T START WITH A RECITATION
967
00:38:44,823 --> 00:38:47,192
OF THE CALORIE CONTENT
OF EVERYTHING ON THE TABLE,
968
00:38:47,258 --> 00:38:48,627
IT WAS KIND OF A RELIEF.
969
00:38:48,694 --> 00:38:49,661
I HATE THEM ANYHOW.
970
00:38:49,728 --> 00:38:51,530
NIGHT.
GOODNIGHT, BABE.
971
00:38:51,597 --> 00:38:53,599
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
972
00:38:57,969 --> 00:38:58,804
HELLO?
973
00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:00,406
Lorelai?
It's Alex Lesman.
974
00:39:00,472 --> 00:39:01,840
WE MET
AT THE LEARNING CENTER.
975
00:39:01,907 --> 00:39:04,443
MY FRIEND ACCIDENTALLY ASKED
YOUR FRIEND ON A DATE.
976
00:39:04,510 --> 00:39:05,644
UM, RIGHT. HI.
977
00:39:05,711 --> 00:39:08,013
HOW ARE YOU?
FAT SAL SENDS HIS LOVE.
978
00:39:08,079 --> 00:39:09,347
RIGHT BACK AT HIM.
979
00:39:09,415 --> 00:39:12,317
YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING
HOW I GOT YOUR NUMBER.
980
00:39:12,384 --> 00:39:13,585
INFORMATION?
981
00:39:13,652 --> 00:39:15,320
That would've been
far too logical.
982
00:39:15,387 --> 00:39:16,688
I ACTUALLY CALLED YOUR INN.
983
00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:18,824
THIS FRENCH GUY GAVE ME
YOUR HOME NUMBER.
984
00:39:18,890 --> 00:39:20,659
SAID I SHOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT CALLING LATE,
985
00:39:20,726 --> 00:39:22,894
YOU USUALLY STAY UP
TILL 3:00, 4:00.
986
00:39:22,961 --> 00:39:25,130
DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM.
HE'S GETTING FIRED TOMORROW.
987
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,264
SO, WHAT'S UP?
988
00:39:26,331 --> 00:39:27,699
Well, I was wondering
something.
989
00:39:27,766 --> 00:39:29,401
UH-HUH.
990
00:39:29,468 --> 00:39:31,002
I LIKE COFFEE SHOPS,
991
00:39:31,069 --> 00:39:32,938
TRY THEIR COFFEE,
SEE WHAT THEY'RE DOING.
992
00:39:33,004 --> 00:39:36,007
SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU CAN
STEAL AND DISGUISE AS YOUR OWN?
993
00:39:36,074 --> 00:39:37,843
EXACTLY -- KIND OF A LOW-RENT
CORPORATE ESPIONAGE.
994
00:39:37,909 --> 00:39:39,678
ANYWAY, SOMETIMES
I'LL HIT TWO COFFEE SHOPS
995
00:39:39,745 --> 00:39:41,613
THAT HAVE SURPRISINGLY
SIMILAR PRODUCT,
996
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,049
AND I CANNOT DECIDE
WHICH ONE IS BETTER.
997
00:39:44,115 --> 00:39:45,651
BUMMER.
Yes. Bummer.
998
00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:48,086
I THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP TO HAVE
ANOTHER PERSON THERE
999
00:39:48,153 --> 00:39:49,921
WHO'D HELP ME MAKE
THESE CRUCIAL EVALUATIONS.
1000
00:39:49,988 --> 00:39:52,524
INTERESTING SOLUTION
TO A FASCINATING PROBLEM.
1001
00:39:52,591 --> 00:39:54,960
SO I WAS WONDERING WHAT YOU WERE
DOING THIS SATURDAY.
1002
00:39:55,026 --> 00:39:56,995
IT'S FUNNY YOU ASK,
I HAPPEN TO BE
1003
00:39:57,062 --> 00:39:59,531
THE WORLD'S FOREMOST
COFFEE EXPERTS.
REALLY?
1004
00:39:59,598 --> 00:40:02,868
IT'S BASICALLY JUST ME AND THIS
GUY NAMED CHUCKLES IN BRAZIL.
1005
00:40:02,934 --> 00:40:05,471
SOUNDS LIKE FATE.
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?
1006
00:40:05,537 --> 00:40:06,972
SURE.
Great.
1007
00:40:07,038 --> 00:40:10,241
TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE --
YOU KNOW THIS IS A DATE?
1008
00:40:10,308 --> 00:40:11,877
OH, YEAH. I GOT THAT.
GOOD.
1009
00:40:11,943 --> 00:40:14,713
YOU GUYS COME UP WITH A NAME
FOR YOUR PLACE YET?
1010
00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:16,548
Right now the top contender
is Sludge.
1011
00:40:16,615 --> 00:40:18,349
EXCUSE ME?
Moving on.
1012
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:20,886
My partner likes
Regular Joe.
1013
00:40:20,952 --> 00:40:22,521
Then again,
his name is Joe.
1014
00:40:22,588 --> 00:40:23,989
OH. FANCY THAT.
1015
00:40:24,055 --> 00:40:26,792
So, still won't let go
of The Mudhouse, huh?
1016
00:40:26,858 --> 00:40:28,894
'FRAID NOT.
WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?
1017
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,697
Well, okay. How about
Black Liquid Hope Sold Here?
1018
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:34,365
SEE, NOW YOU'RE MAKING
SOME PROGRESS.
1019
00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:35,901
[ LAUGHS ]
1020
00:40:45,511 --> 00:40:47,946
[THEME MUSIC]
79593
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