All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S03E03 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

THIS IS SUBLIME.

IT WAS THE GOLDEN AGE OF
TELEVISION.

THE MUSIC, THE COSTUMES,
THE SETS.

ALL CYLINDERS WERE FIRING ON
THIS ONE, BOY!

WHO KNEW THEY ALL
HAD SUCH MUSICAL TALENT.

AND SUCH FAR-OUT BOOTY-SHAKING
ABILITIES AS WELL.

MAIL, LADIES.
THANKS, EDDIE.

THIS WAS LISTED AS
THE WORST 50 SHOWS OF ALL TIME
IN "TV GUIDE".

I KNOW!
WHO ARE THEY TO JUDGE?

I KNOW. IT'S ON OUR
TOP-50 BEST.

YEAH, RIGHT AFTER "HOLMES AND
YO-YO" AND "HEE HAW HONEYS."

RORY, GET BACK!
THEY'RE IN CLOWN SUITS
AND HEADED FOR THE POOL!

OH, MY GOD!
HONEY, COME HERE.

IT'S HERE!
WHAT'S HERE?

MY APPLICATION TO HARVARD.

OH, MY GOD!

OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IMPRESSIVE LETTER "H", HUH?

OH, YEAH,
IT'S SO "H-H-H."

VERY.

CAN I HOLD IT?
BE CAREFUL.

OH, IT'S HEAVY --
HEAVY WITH IMPORTANCE.
I FEEL DIZZY.

YOU SURE IT'S NOT ROBERT REED
IN TIGHT CLOWN PANTS?

LET THE RECORD SHOW
THAT WHEN MY APPLICATION
TO HARVARD ARRIVED,

WE WERE WATCHING "THE BRADY
BUNCH VARIETY HOUR."

I HOPE YOU DON'T
LOOSE POINTS?
I HOPE NOT.

I WISH IT CAME WHEN I WAS
READING "DEAD SOULS."

WE'LL TELL PEOPLE
THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE DOING,

AND THAT I WAS STUDYING
A REALLY BIG GLOBE.

YOU CAN KEEP A SECRET?
THERE'S ALWAYS A FIRST.

"DEAD SOULS"
AND A REALLY BIG GLOBE.

DEAL!

OH, KAYAKS!

* IF YOU'RE OUT
ON THE ROAD *

* FEELIN' LONELY
AND SO COLD *

* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS CALL MY NAME *

* AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW *

* OH, OH, OH *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANY, ANYWHERE
THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD *

COME ON,
I WANNA GET STARTED.

HOLD YOUR HORSES,
LITTLE MISS HORSEY HOLDER.

THEY'LL EXPECT
A HIGHER LEVEL OF WIT
AT HARVARD.

OH, WATCH THAT DRINK!
[ POP-TOP SNAPS ]

I'M NOWHERE NEAR IT.
WELL, KEEP IT THAT WAY.

THIS IS AN
UNCONTAMINATED AREA --

I EVEN CLEANED THE TABLE
USING SOMETHING OTHER THAN

MY SWEATER SLEEVE
AND SPIT.

LOVELY IMAGE.
I'LL BE CAREFUL.

HERE WE GO.
FIRST QUESTION --

[ GASPS ] OH, MY GOD!
WHAT?

WHAT WERE YOU DOING WHEN
YOU RECEIVED THIS APPLICATION?

COUNTS FOR 50%
OF YOUR ELIGIBILITY.
STOP.

I NEED HELP.
WITH WHAT?

SHE'S WRITING HER
"DRUMMER SEEKS ROCK BAND" AD.

IT'S NOT READING RIGHT.
COULD YOU GUYS LOOK IT OVER?

LET'S SEE. "DRUMMER
WITH STRONG BEAT SEEKS BAND
INTO THE ACCELERATORS,

"THE ADOLESCENTS, THE ADVERTS,
AGENT ORANGE,

THE ANGELIC UPSTARTS,
THE AGNOSTIC FRONT, ASH --"
YOU WENT ALPHABETICALLY.

IT SEEMED TIDY.
AND A LITTLE OCD.

AND LONG.
I CAN MAKE CUTS.

-- IT'S THREE PAGES
SINGLE-SPACED. MAKE CUTS.

THIS IS THE CUT-DOWN VERSION --
FROM THE LETTER "A"

I EXCLUDED AC/DC,
THE ANIMALS, AND A-HA.
FOOTNOTE IS GUILTY PLEASURE.

IF WE CAN'T GET THROUGH IT,
NO ONE CAN.

OKAY, I'LL TRY TO MAKE
CUTS, BUT NO GUARANTEES.

OKAY, "PERSONAL INFORMATION --
STATE YOUR FULL NAME --"

BETTER NOT GET
THAT ONE WRONG!
I'LL TRY!

"AND NICKNAME, IF ANY."
THAT WOULD BE "RORY."

OR "DROOPY DRAWERS" --
THAT WAS NEVER MY NICKNAME.

WRONG, I CALLED
YOU THAT AS A BABY.
WHAT?

THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU HAD THESE LITTLE
OSHKOSH CORDS.

THEY WERE TOO BIG.
AND ONCE AT THE MALL
THEY FELL DOWN.

AND I SAID,
"WHOA, THERE, DROOPY DRAWERS."

I'M JUST AFRAID THAT IF WE DON'T
ANSWER EVERYTHING ACCURATELY,

THE HARVARD POLICE WILL
HIT YOU WITH AN ATLAS

AND SAY SOMETHING MEAN
IN LATIN.

HOW WOULD THEY KNOW
YOU CALL ME DROOPY DRAWERS?

WE COULD BE AT A HARVARD EVENT,
AND I'D ACCIDENTALLY SAY,

"PASS ME A LOBSTER PUFF, DROOPY
DRAWERS." AND THEY'D HEAR ME,
AND THAT'LL BE THAT.

HOW ABOUT NOT DRINK
AT THESE HARVARD EVENTS?

OKAY, "PARENTAL INFORMATION --
MOTHER."

BREATHTAKING.

I THINK THEY JUST
WANT YOUR NAME.
"FATHER."

OSTRACIZED.

"PERSONAL STATEMENT."

OH, THE ESSAY,
THE BIG KAHUNA.

"EVALUATE A SIGNIFICANT
EXPERIENCE THAT'S HAD AN IMPACT
ON YOU --"

HOW ABOUT WHEN YOUR
DRAWERS DROOPED DOWN?
ENOUGH OF THE DRAWERS.

"OR WRITE ABOUT A PERSON
WHO'S HAD A SIGNIFICANT
INFLUENCE ON YOU."

YOU?
OR ONE OF YOUR
AUTHORS -- FAULKNER...

OR SYLVIA PLATH?
MIGHT SEND
THE WRONG MESSAGE.

THE "STICKING HER HEAD
IN THE OVEN" THING?
YEAH.

ALTHOUGH SHE MADE HER
KIDS A SNACK FIRST.

SHOWS A CERTAIN MATERNAL
INSTINCT.

OKAY, I JUST CRUNCHED THE
NUMBERS AND AT 2,000 WORDS

AND 25 CENTS A WORD, THE STUPID
AD'S GONNA COST $500!

THAT'S 5 MONTHS OF
MINWAX-ING END TABLES
AT THE STORE. I GIVE UP.

DON'T GIVE UP. JUST CUT DOWN
YOUR INFLUENCES TO
THE IMPORTANT ONES,

LIKE WITH DAVID BOWIE --
GOTTA HAVE BOWIE.

MUST YOU LIST EVERY ALBUM HE
RECORDED AND YOUR PERSONAL
RATING BETWEEN ONE AND TEN?

MAYBE NOT.
WHAT'S WITH JACKSON BROWNE
MAKING THE LIST?

COOL PEOPLE KNOW HE'S MORE THAN
A MELLOW, HIPPIE-DIPPIE FOLKIE,

THAT HE ACTUALLY WROTE
SOME OF NICO'S BEST SONGS
AND WAS HER LOVER

BEFORE BORING US WITH
"DOCTOR MY EYES."

THAT WILL SEPARATE THE POSERS
FROM THE NON-POSERS.

WAX ON, WAX OFF.
I HATE THIS!

OKAY, WHAT ACTIVITIES
INTEREST YOU?

ALL EXCEPT FOR THE SPORTS.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
THE LACROSSE KID.

MOM, JUST A MODICUM OF
SERIOUSNESS AS WE DO THIS
WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

MM. SO, CIRCLE ALL OF THEM
EXCEPT SPORTS.

OH, THEY WANT A PICTURE.

HOW ABOUT THE ONE WITH US
STICKING OUR HEADS THROUGH
THE HOLES OF JOHNNY BRAVO?

THERE'S THE SERIOUSNESS
I CRAVE.

I HAVE TO CRANK
THE RAMONES IF I HAVE
TO MAKE DEEP CUTS!

WE'LL MOVE OUTSIDE.

THE OUTSIDE'S CONTAMINATED!

HM?
OH.

THANK YOU.
DO THEY LET KIDS DRINK
COFFEE BEFORE SCHOOL?

WHY? DO YOU THINK IT MIGHT LEAD
TO HARDER STUFF --

LATTES, CAPPUCCINOS?

FORGET I ASKED.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
SATURDAY?
JUST MY USUAL CHORES.

YOUR USUAL CHORES,
JOHN-BOY?

WHAT ELSE DO YOU
CALL "HOUSE JOBS"?

I CALL THEM "THE STUFF YOU AVOID
UNTIL THE ENVIRONMENTAL
PROTECTION AGENCY STEPS IN."

WHY DO YOU ASK?
I THOUGHT WE'D
SEE A MOVIE.

YOU'RE NOT FREE BECAUSE YOU'LL
BE WORKING ON YOUR APPLICATION.

NO, I'M NOT.
REALLY?

IT'S NOT DUE FOR WEEKS,
AND I HAVE THE TOPIC PICKED OUT.
WHICH IS?

HILLARY CLINTON.

SOUNDS PERFECT.
I KNOW.

SHE'S SO SMART AND TOUGH,

NOBODY THOUGHT SHE'D WIN
NEW YORK, BUT SHE DID,

AND SHE'S DOING AMAZING.
HAVE YOU HEARD HER SPEAK?

ONLY WHEN YOU PLAYED ME
THE THOUSANDS OF HOURS
OF C-SPAN FOOTAGE YOU TAPED.

SHE'S A GREAT SPEAKER --
STRONG AND PERSUASIVE,
WITH A WONDERFUL PRESENCE

AND HER SUITS
ARE GETTING BETTER.

I'D INCLUDE THAT IN THE ESSAY.
ANYHOW,
NOW THAT I HAVE HILLARY,

I JUST NEED A DATE
FOR SATURDAY. SUGGESTIONS?

YOU'RE ON.
GREAT.

OH, THERE'S MY BUS. SIP.

KISS.

AND BYE.
BYE.

FAST RUNNER.
IT'S THE COFFEE.

NOT YOUR FACE?
EXCUSE ME?

SORRY, JUST MISSED MY YOUTH

FOR A SECOND. I'M BACK. COFFEE?

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS THAT.
THIS IS MY SPEAKING VOICE.

THIS IS ITS NATURAL VOLUME.

FINE! FINE!

SHORT-SIGHTED MORONS!
WHAT NOW, PARIS?

WITH GREAT DIFFICULTY WE SET UP
THIS SEMINAR. I SAY WE, BUT I
DID MOST OF THE WORK.

MR. HUNTER WON'T LET ME
DO IT MY WAY.

THE PANELISTS ARE THERE.
WE SIT AND ASK QUESTIONS.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

IT'S BORING AND PREDICTABLE.
I WANTED CHARLIE ROSE.

TO ASK THE QUESTIONS?
HIS STYLE --

I WANTED A ROUND
TABLE WITH BLACK BACKDROPS.

THE AUDIENCE WON'T
BE ABLE TO SEE.

THE LOSERS IN THE A-V CLUB
CAN PROJECT IT
ON A GIANT VIDEO SCREEN.

AND ALL MR. HUNTER SAID WAS,
PARIS "THIS ISN'T THE BEATLES
AT SHEA STADIUM."

NICE ANACHRONISM, HUH? LIKE
THEY HAD VIDEO SCREENS IN '65.

HIS REFERENCES ARE AS TOPICAL
AS HIS SUITS.

EVERYONE, CAN I HAVE YOUR
ATTENTION, PLEASE, WE CAN
GET THE SEMINAR STARTED.

I'D LIKE TO BRING UP
THE ORGANIZERS.

PARIS GELLAR
AND RORY GILMORE.

THANK YOU, MR. HUNTER.

EVERYBODY, THIS IS A SEMINAR

CALLED "THE BUSINESS
OF GETTING IN."

ITS GOAL IS TO HELP GUIDE US
THROUGH THE TORTUOUS PROCESS

OF APPLYING TO AND GETTING INTO
THE RIGHT COLLEGE.

MY PANELISTS ARE JIM ROMAINE,

ADMISSIONS OFFICER
AT PRINCETON UNIVERSITY,

AND IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE
CONSULTANT ROSE SAMUELS.

WELCOME, PANEL.
YES, WELCOME.

NOW, PANEL, YOU'RE ADDRESSING
A GROUP OF KIDS

JUST BEGINNING THE STRESSFUL
PROCESS OF APPLYING TO COLLEGE.

QUESTION -- WHAT IS THE BIGGEST
MISTAKE A PERSON CAN MAKE

ON HIS OR HER APPLICATION?
MR. ROMAINE?

WELL, FORGETTING TO SEND IT IN
WOULD BE THE WORST MISTAKE.

BUT PERFUNCTORY ANSWERS
WOULD BE HIGH ON MY LIST.

EXPLAIN.

I'M TALKING ABOUT
RUN-OF-THE-MILL RESPONSES,

A LACK OF ORIGINALITY,

PARTICULARLY IN THE ESSAY
CATEGORY.

IF I READ ONE MORE
OVER-ADULATING PIECE OF PROSE

ABOUT HILLARY CLINTON
AND HER PROFOUND INFLUENCE,

MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE.

I HEAR THAT. SOMETIMES A MISTAKE
LIKE THAT COMES FROM WRITING

WHAT ONE THINKS AN ADMISSION
OFFICER WANTS TO READ,

BIG MISTAKE.
AND SOMETIMES

IT'S LACK
OF ORIGINAL THOUGHT.
JUST AS BIG A MISTAKE.

PERSONAL ANECDOTE.
WHEN I WAS 12 AND I WAS WRITING
THE FIRST OF MY TRIAL ESSAYS

IN PRACTICE FOR
THE DAY I REALLY WOULD.

I CHOSE HILLARY CLINTON.

THEN I REALIZED,
EVERY BINT IN A SKIRT
WOULD BE WRITING ABOUT HILLARY,

IT'S GOOD
TO CLEAR THE PIPES.

NOW, WHAT ARE SOME OTHER
MISTAKES?

WELL, SMALL THING, BUT IF YOUR
PRINTING IS BAD, THAT
SAYS SOMETHING WE DON'T LIKE.

IF YOUR EXTRACURRICULARS
AND VOLUNTEER ACTIVITIES

ARE TOO "BY THE BOOK," THAT
SAYS SOMETHING WE DON'T LIKE.

YES, THOSE ACTIVITIES SHOULD
HAVE A PERSONALITY BEHIND THEM,

A FOCUS, A DIRECTION.
I'VE SEEN APPLICATIONS

WHERE THE STUDENT HAS CIRCLED
EVERY ACTIVITY LISTED.

AGAIN, YOU'RE TRYING
TOO HARD THERE.

ONE CAN'T BE INTERESTED
IN EVERYTHING.

THEY'RE THE ONES WHO'VE HAD
COLLEGE PARAPHERNALIA

ON THEIR WALLS
THEIR WHOLE LIVES.

TOO HUNGRY.
IT'S A LITTLE IMMATURE.

INTERESTING. INTERESTING.

RORY, DO YOU WANT TO ASK
A QUESTION?

NO.
WHAT?

NO. THANK YOU.

OKAY.

SO, HOW EARLY SHOULD A STUDENT
GET AN APPLICATION IN?

BY THE DUE DATE.
EARLIER MAKES NO DIFFERENCE.

IT'S A MYTH THAT THERE'S
A BENEFIT TO BE DERIVED
FROM EARLY ADMISSION.

I DO THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO
TALK ABOUT THE INTERVIEW PROCESS

I BELIEVE IS AN OPPORTUNITY
TO WEED OUT
THE HYPER-INTENSE CANDIDATE.

SHE'S MEETING YOU HERE?
SHE HAD A THING AFTER
SCHOOL, RUMBLE OR SOMETHING.

SHE'D BE OVER AFTER.
A RUMBLE?

A BUNCH OF KIDS
IN AN ALLEY,

THEY PIROUETTE, THEY PULL
KNIVES -- IT'S A WHOLE TO-DO.

SO, SHE'S MEETING YOU HERE.
YES, SHE'S MEETING US HERE.

WHERE'S DAD?
THE MAGAZINES!

THAT WAS...WEIRD
AND UNRESPONSIVE.

THESE ARE COLLEGE ISSUES
OF VARIOUS MAGAZINES.

I'VE BEEN COLLECTING THEM
FOR MONTHS NOW.

RORY'S PROBABLY SEEN
ALL THOSE, BUT THANKS ANYWAY.

HAVE YOU READ THESE?
NO.

WELL, YOU SHOULD. I'VE UNEARTHED
SOME SHOCKING STATISTICS.

I MEAN, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW HOT THE COMPETITION IS
TO GET INTO HARVARD?

WELL, YEAH, IT'S VERY HOT.
IT'S ONE OF THE TOP
SCHOOLS IN THE COUNTRY.

IN THE WORLD! PEOPLE FROM CHINA,
RUSSIA, INDIA --

CHILDREN FROM EVERY COUNTRY
APPLY TO HARVARD.

THERE'S MORE COMPETITION
THAN EVER BEFORE.

REALLY?
MOM, I KNOW ALL THIS.

WITH THE DOT-COM BUST AND
THE JOB MARKET DWINDLING,

AND THE STOCK MARKET GOING UP
AND DOWN LIKE A YO-YO,

EVERYONE KNOWS THE BEST CHANCE
FOR SUCCESS

AND FINANCIAL SECURITY
IS NOT JUST ATTENDING COLLEGE,

BUT TO GO TO A TOP COLLEGE.

THANK YOU. GOT IT.
APPRECIATE THE INFO.

EVERY CHILD THAT APPLIES HAS THE
SAME HIGH GRADE-POINT AVERAGE.

THEY'VE TAKEN THE SAME A.P.
CLASSES AND THEY'RE ALL
ON THE STUDENT COUNCIL.

THEY'RE NOT ALL
THAT IDENTICAL.

ONE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS
OFFICER SAID

THAT HE SOMETIMES PUTS A RANDOM
STACK OF APPLICATIONS

IN THE "YES" PILE AND THE REST
IN THE "NO" PILE BECAUSE IT
DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

HE DOESN'T EVEN GLANCE AT THEM.

THAT DOES NOT SOUND REAL.

NOW, IT'S THE IN THING
FOR YOUNG HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES
TO GO TO UNIVERSITIES.

WHAT DO THEY CALL THEMSELVES --
"THE BRAT PACK"?

OH, ABOUT A HUNDRED YEARS AGO.

THEY GET INTO WHEREVER THEY WANT
BASED ON NAME RECOGNITION.

I WAS WATCHING TV, AND THAT
INSIPID KATE HUDSON

WAS TALKING ABOUT GOING
TO A UNIVERSITY.

IF SHE DECIDES TO GO TO HARVARD,
SHE'LL GET RIGHT IN OVER RORY,

WHO WE KNOW IS MORE QUALIFIED.

HOW ABOUT A DRINK?
YOU WANT TO DRINK? 'CAUSE I DO.

LORELAI, HOLD ON! WHAT
ARE WE GOING TO DO?

MOM, THERE IS NO "WE,".
IT'S ME -- ME AND RORY --
THAT'S THE "WE."

I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN AND
YOUR PRODIGIOUS RESEARCH,

BUT IT'S ALL GONNA BE FINE.
RORY'S SPECIAL.

YOU AND I KNOW THAT,

BUT THOSE IDIOTS AT HARVARD
MAY NOT NECESSARILY KNOW THAT.

Rory: HELLO?

WE'RE IN HER AND HURRY.

HI, GRANDMA.
HELLO, RORY.
YOU LOOK FLUSHED.

I RAN FROM THE BUS STOP.
MOM, HEY, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO
CALL YOU. CAN I TALK TO YOU?

IS SOMETHING WRONG?
NO, I JUST NEED TO TALK TO MOM.

WE'LL BE QUICK.
WE'LL BE BACK.

I'M NOT GETTING
INTO HARVARD.
WHAT? WHO SAYS?

WELL, I'M COMPLETELY UNPREPARED,
AND I HAVE NO ORIGINAL THOUGHTS.

NO. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT'S THOSE JERKS AT HARVARD.

I HATE THEM.
WHAT?

APPARENTLY IT DOESN'T
MATTER HOW QUALIFIED YOU ARE.

THOSE LAZY-ASS ADMISSIONS
OFFICERS JUST TAKE APPLICATIONS

STICKING IT IN "YES"
AND "NO" PILES WITHOUT EVEN
GLANCING AT THEM!

IT WON'T MATTER BECAUSE
MY HILLARY CLINTON ESSAY

WILL BE LIKE EVERY OTHER
GIRL'S ESSAY

BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT'S ALL
WE CAN THINK OF.

DOES EVERYONE HAVE THE SAME
G.P.A? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

BECAUSE WE ALL TAKE
THE SAME CLASSES

AND WE ALL GIVE THE SAME
PERFUNCTORY RUN-OF-THE-MILL
RESPONSES.

I'M INTERESTED IN TOO MANY
THINGS. I HAVE TO LIMIT THEM.

I'M GONNA CIRCLE "TRAVEL"
ON MY APPLICATION.

THAT IS WHAT
I'M INTERESTED IN. CIAO.
NO, DON'T DO THAT, NO.

BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE COMING
FROM CHINA AND INDIA --

GOD KNOWS WHERE ELSE.
THEY'RE ALL NUTS FOR TRAVELING.

THAT'S WHY THEY'RE HERE.

AND JOBS ARE DROPPING
AND DOT-COM BOMBING.

SOMETHING'S ACTING LIKE
A YO-YO, BUT IT'S NOT GOOD --

AND OVER MY DEAD BODY IS
KATE HUDSON GETTING YOUR SPOT.

MOM, YOU'RE FREAKING OUT!
YES! I'M FREAKING OUT.

YOU CAN'T,
I'M FREAKING OUT.

[CELLPHONE RINGS]
HELLO?

WHAT DID ROMAINE MEAN
WHEN HE WAS GOING ON ABOUT
WEEDING OUT THE HYPER-INTENSE?

HE STOPPED SHORT
OF CALLING ME BY NAME.

NOT NOW, PARIS.
I TRIED THROWING
THE QUESTIONING TO YOU

BECAUSE I WAS ABOUT TO HEAVE
SO, I CAME HOME TO HEAVE.

WE'LL TALK
TOMORROW, PARIS.
WAIT!

OKAY, WE GOTTA
CALM DOWN HERE.

SO, SET AN EXAMPLE.
HEY, I'M HUMAN TOO.

MY FOREHEAD IS
BURNING UP.

MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST.

OKAY, LET'S TAKE A BREATH.

OKAY. [ INHALES ]

[ EXHALES ]

THIS FREAKING OUT
IS NOT GOOD.
IT SUCKS.

WE CAN DO THIS.
IF OTHERS CAN, WE CAN!

I'M NOT SO SURE ANYMORE.
THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE.

I WON'T ACCEPT IT.
THEN WE WON'T!

WHAT DO WE DO?
I DON'T KNOW!

WE DEFINITELY NEED
SOME SORT OF PERSPECTIVE.

I THINK WE NEED THERAPY.
AND BOOZE...

FOR THOSE OF US OVER 21.

OKAY, ARE WE CALMING?
ARE WE LESS FREAKED?

I'M TOTALLY FREAKED OUT.

WE'LL, HIDE IT!
I CAN'T HIDE IT!

THEN PREPARE YOURSELF
FOR MAGAZINE RECITATIONS

BY EMILY DJ-DO
MEISTER GILMORE.

I'LL HIDE IT.

[PHONE RINGING]

HELLO?

NO. LANE SHOULD BE HERE ANY
MINUTE. IS THIS ABOUT THE AD?

WELL, GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER
AND SHE'LL CALL YOU BACK.

OKAY, THEN, WHAT'S THE NUMBER

OF THE DUDE
WHOSE COUCH YOU'RE SLEEPING ON?

OH, DUDE DOESN'T HAVE A PHONE?

WELL, TRY BACK LATER, DUDE.
THANKS.

RORY, ARE YOU UP?
IF NOT, GET UP!

AND WHERE'S LANE? SHE'S SUPPOSED
TO BE FIELDING THESE.

HELLO? NO, SHE'S NOT.
MAY I TAKE A MESSAGE?

WAIT A MINUTE.
SHE'S HERE.

SORRY.

THIS IS LANE.

HEY!
HEY.

OH, WHAT'S UP?

I DIDN'T SLEEP SO WELL.

POOR THING.

I'M FINE.
I'M JUST A LITTLE BUMMED.

NO. WAIT, PROGRESSIVE ROCK IS A
REALLY PASSE STYLE NOW,

BUT I LISTED IT AS AN INFLUENCE
BECAUSE IT WAS A PROGENITOR

OF GREAT THINGS THAT CAME
AFTERWARDS.

I CONTEND THAT YOU COULD
DRAW A STRAIGHT LINE

FROM YES TO JETHRO TULL TO THE
JAM TO NIRVANA. BING BANG BOOM.

"WHO ARE THE JAM?"

THAT'S DISTURBING.

HEY, MAYBE INSTEAD OF
GOING TO COLLEGE,

YOU SHOULD DROP OUT,
AND I'LL QUIT MY JOB,

WE COULD FORM
A GIRL BAND WITH LANE --
YOU KNOW, LIKE BANANARAMA?

WE COULD CALL IT...
TANGERINARAMA

OR BANANA-FANA-FO-FANA-RAMA
OR SOMETHING.

I'M JUST KIDDING.
YOU GOTTA GO TO COLLEGE.

I'M UP FOR ANYTHING
AT THIS POINT.

I GOTTA GO.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

FEEL BETTER, OKAY?
I WILL.

YOU ARE NOT TELLING ME THAT YOU
DID NOT KNOW

THAT KIM DEAL WAS IN THE PIXIES
BEFORE THE BREEDERS!

I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT.

THESE KIDS HAVE NO SENSE
OF HISTORY!

HEY, TOM, WHAT'S UP?
NOTHING MUCH.

GET ME A HAM ON
RYE, MUSTARD, NO MAYO.

YOU GOT IT.
HI.

YOU GOT MONEY?
YES, SIR.

WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
LET'S SEE.

A COLD EGG CREAM?

A WHAT CREAM?
AN EGG CREAM.

WHAT IS THAT?
A COLD ONE.

IT'S MILK AND SODA WATER
WITH FLAVORING.

YOU'RE ASKING ME?
NICE AND COLD.

I HEARD.
WE'D GET 'EM
AT CONEY ISLAND.

GO TO CONEY ISLAND.

SIR, CAN I GET SOMETHING?

YOU GOT MONEY?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

A BLACK COW.
OH, NOW. COME ON!

IT'S ROOT BEER
AND ICE CREAM.

IS THAT IT?
I CAN DO THAT.

AS LONG AS THE ICE CREAM'S MADE
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.

NOW, WAIT A SECOND --

CAN YOU WHIP ME UP
SOMETHING FAST?

WHAT, KIRK?
A CHOCOLATE PHOSPHATE.

WHAT IS THIS?!
WHY DO YOU WANT A PHOSPHATE?

BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS REFRESHMENT
LIKE A PHOSPHATE.

IS TAYLOR BEHIND THIS?
I'M NOT AT LIBERTY TO SAY.

THEN YOU TELL ME, AND IF YOU
LIE, YOU'LL GO TO HELL.

HE DIDN'T SAY
YOU'D GET MAD.
COME ON!

WHAT IS THIS?
THAT'S MY QUESTION.

WHAT'S GOING ON?
I HAVE NO IDEA.

THEY'RE ASKING FOR PHOSPHATES
AND EGG CREAMS AND BLACK COWS,
THEY ALREADY GAVE YOU UP,

SO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.
WHO FINKED?

HIM. WELL, YOU DID.
SNITCH.

IT'S NOT THE KID'S FAULT.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?

YOU ARE SO CLOSED-MINDED
TO NEW THINGS, LUKE,

THAT I DECIDED TO MAKE AN
ADMITTEDLY DESPERATE ATTEMPT

TO CONVINCE YOU
OF THE NEED FOR SOMETHING

THAT I THINK IS A
TERRIFIC IDEA --

WHICH IS.
AN OLD-FASHIONED,

TURN-OF-THE-CENTURY SODA SHOP.

AY-YI-YI-YI-YI.

IT'S JUST THE KIND OF WHOLESOME
HANG TODAY'S TEENS NEED

TO KEEP THEM
OFF THE STREETS.

AND OUR STREETS ARE SO WILD?

IF YOU ASK ME, YES,
AND I HAVE PROOF.

WHAT ARE THESE?
SURVEILLANCE PHOTOS OF TOWN
GOINGS-ON --

THE DARK SIDE OF STARS HOLLOW,
LUKE -- NOT A PRETTY PICTURE.

THESE ARE KIDS
ON SKATEBOARDS.

SLALOMING AROUND POP BOTTLES

DOWN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET.
I'M TELLING YOU!

IF WE DON'T QUIT FURNISHING
THESE SKATEBOARDING Z-BOYS

WITH A MORAL DISTRACTION,

THEY'RE GOING TO TURN STARS
HOLLOW INTO DOGTOWN!

THIS IS NEXT TO THE DINER.
I KNOW.

I OWN THAT SPACE.
I KNOW.

YOU WANNA OPEN A SODA SHOP
NEXT TO THE DINER?
IT'S THE ONLY ONE APPROPRIATE.

TAYLOR, NO, NO, NO,
AND EVERY DAY,

FROM NOW TILL THE END
OF MY LIFE,

I AM GOING TO COME
AND SAY, "TAYLOR, NO."

WHEN I DIE, I'M GONNA BE
FROZEN NEXT TO TED WILLIAMS.

WHEN THEY FIND THE CURE
TO WHAT I DIED OF
AND UNFREEZE ME,

MY FIRST WORDS WILL BE
"HOW'S TED?"

FOLLOWED CLOSELY BY
"TAYLOR, NO!"

BUT THE SPACE IS EMPTY!
NOT FOR LONG!

AND WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR IT?
A SKATEBOARD
AND POP-BOTTLE SHOP.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
WITH IN-HOUSE EXPERTS TO TEACH
THE CRAFT OF STREET SLALOMING.

STILL NOT FUNNY.

I'M NOT IN
A VERY FUNNY MOOD!

LUKE, ARE YOU TAKING
APPLICATIONS

FOR JOBS AT YOUR SKATEBOARD
AND BOTTLE SHOP?

YEAH. I'M INTERVIEWING
PEOPLE TODAY, KIRK.

SHALL I GO AND CHANGE
OR WILL CASUAL SUFFICE?

I LIKE THE GOING-HOME PART.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

HEY.
HEY.

GUESS WHO I HAD A VERY
PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATION
WITH TODAY --

HEADMASTER CHARLESTON.
YOU'RE KIDDING.

NO. I THINK WE CAME UP
WITH A SOLUTION

TO OUR APPLICATION ANXIETY.

WANNA HEAR IT?
I GUESS.

WE SPENT 10 MINUTES
ON HIM BUGGING ME TO VOLUNTEER

FOR MORE STUFF AT SCHOOL OR
TO MAKE A DONATION TO BUILD
A NEW BASKETBALL COURT

AND THEN OF ME
CONVINCING HIM

THAT WHAT SOUNDED
LIKE ME GOING "HAH!"

WAS REALLY ME CLEARING
MY THROAT,

AFTER THAT, WE HAD
A VERY PRODUCTIVE
CONVERSATION.

AND?

HE SUGGESTED SETTING UP A
MEETING WITH A HARVARD GRADUATE,

LIKE A DINNER OR SOMETHING.
HE EVEN GAVE ME A PHONE NUMBER.

AN ALUMNI DINNER?
YES, EXACTLY.

DO THEY DO THAT?
APPARENTLY, IT'S
DONE ALL THE TIME.

WE COULD TALK WITH SOMEONE WHO'S
BEEN THROUGH IT ALL AND DID IT
SUCCESSFULLY.

YOU CAN ASK QUESTIONS.
HE CAN GIVE SOME PERSPECTIVE.

IT SEEMS PERFECT.
SOUNDS WEIRD.

A LITTLE.
I'LL GO WITH YOU,

WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN
HAPPEN? WE'RE BORED
AND BLOW A MEAL,

IF HE CAN HELP,
THEN THAT'S A GOOD THING, RIGHT?

I DO HAVE SOME QUESTIONS --
A LOT OF QUESTIONS.

WELL, LET'S CALL HIM.

NOW?
YES. YES.

THERE'S NO TIME LIKE
THE PRESENT. COME ON.

HIS NAME IS
DARREN SPRINGSTEEN

OF WESTPORT, CONNECTICUT,
HARVARD CLASS OF '74.

DOES HE HAVE
A BROTHER NAMED BRUCE.
I'M NOT GONNA ASK HIM THAT.

IT'S RINGING.
[GIGGLES]

WHY'D YOU HANG UP?
I'M NOT GOOD AT
THESE THINGS!

DID HE ANSWER?
YES.

YES?! RORY, THAT'S A REALLY
TERRIBLE FIRST IMPRESSION!

[PHONE RINGING]

UH-OH.
HIM?

MAYBE.
HE STAR-69'd US?

THE HARVARD PEOPLE CAN AFFORD
ALL THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY.

[ BEEP ]
ANSWER.

YOU'VE REACHED SUFFRAGETTE
CITY. IF YOU'RE CALLING ABOUT
LANE KIM'S AD,

SORRY, WE'RE NOT IN. DON'T
COMMIT ROCK AND ROLL SUICIDE,

JUST CRANK A MESSAGE
AT THE FEEDBACK.
OH, JEEZ.

IF HE IS RELATED TO BRUCE,
HE COULD DIG IT.

Hey, I'm Dave Rygalski.
I'm calling about the ad.

I left my number before. So,
call when you get a chance. Bye.

LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN.

CAN WE
DO THIS LATER?

NO, LET'S GET IT DONE NOW.

IT'S RINGING.

LET'S DO IT LATER.
IT'S RINGING!

I'M GONNA SAY THE WRONG THING
OR HAVE THE WRONG TONE.

I'M NOT IN GOOD FIRST-IMPRESSION
MODE RIGHT NOW.

MA--
HELLO.

[ High-pitched voice ]
HELLO, THIS IS RORY GILMORE.

I BELIEVE YOU WERE EXPECTING
MY CALL.

UM, WELL, THIS IS SUCH A
WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY FOR ME.

WHATEVER'S GOOD FOR YOU.

NOT SO BREATHY.

[ Normal voice ]
THAT'S HOW CHICKENS TALK!

[ High-pitched voice ]
LUNCH? OH, YES.

LET ME JUST CHECK
MY ORGANIZER.

OH, PERFECT.
MY MOTHER WILL BE THERE, TOO.

SHE'S TERRIFIC.

ALRIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU
THIS WEEKEND.

BYE.

YOU'RE NO DANNY GANS.
I NEVER CLAIMED TO BE.

HE'S GOING TO BE EXPECTING
CHILTON HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR
TRIXIE McBIMBO.

AND HER MOTHER,
BAMBI McBIMBO.

I GUESS
IT CAN'T HURT.

IT CAN ONLY HELP.
OKAY.

IF IT'S A BUST, WE'LL GRAB
A POLE AND TRIXIE AND BAMBI'LL
TAKE IT ON THE ROAD.

THAT'S SOMETHING TO PUT
ON YOUR APPLICATION.

THANKS, MOM.

[ High-pitched voice ]
BYE, TRIXIE.

SO, ALUMNA IS A GIRL GRADUATE
AND ALUMNUS IS A MAN.

SINGULAR.
SO, AN UNMARRIED MAN?

NO, NOT NOT MARRIED.

HE CAN BE MARRIED
OR SINGLE.

ALL ALUMNUS MEANS IS
ONE MAN, SINGULAR

AS OPPOSED TO
MANY MEN, PLURAL.

AND PLURAL IS ALUMNI.
RIGHT.

THAT CAN BE
GIRLS AND GUYS.

KINKY.
NOT KINKY,
JUST WHAT IT IS.

YOU'RE NO FUN
WHEN YOU'RE NERVOUS.

YES, BECAUSE WE HAVE
SO MUCH FUN WITH LATIN.

DO WE CALL THIS GUY,
"ALUMNUS DARREN" --

LIKE YOU'D SAY
"FARMER JOHN" OR
"THE BUTCHER LAZAR WOLF"?

ISHKABIBBLE.

HELLO THERE.
HELLO, I'M LORELAI GILMORE.

DARREN SPRINGSTEEN.
NICE TO MEET YOU.

AND THIS MUST BE
THE REASON WE'RE ALL HERE.

HELLO.
I HOPE WE'RE NOT
PUTTING YOU OUT.

PUTTING US OUT? TODAY YOU ARE
THE SPRINGSTEEN FAMILY'S

RAISON D'ETRE.
COME IN. COME IN.

WAS YOUR DRIVE LONG?
NOT TOO.

STARS HOLLOW IS CHARMING.
THE LAST TIME
WE DROVE THROUGH THERE,

THERE WAS
A PUMPKIN PATCH...
SOUNDS LIKE US.

...IN MARCH.
THAT WOULD BE THE YEAR
THE PUMPKINS ARRIVED LATE.

SOUNDS LIKE
A DR. SEUSS BOOK.

YOU CAME BEARING GIFTS?
WHAT?

OH, THIS.
NO, THIS IS NOT A GIFT.

THESE ARE MY RECORDS --
GRADES, S.A.T.s.

IT'S RORY IN A BAG.

YOU ADD WATER, AND HER
BRILLIANCE SPRINGS OUT.

WHY DON'T I JUST GLANCE AT THIS
SOME OTHER TIME?

THIS AFTERNOON, WHY DON'T
WE JUST TALK AND GET
TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER, OKAY?

YOU'RE A VERY NICE
ALUMNI.

THANKS.

THAT'S THE PLURAL.
OH, RATS!

LORELAI, RORY,

SAY HELLO TO MARIE,
MY WIFE.

HELLO. SO GOOD
TO HAVE YOU HERE.

HI.
THANK YOU.

HOW ABOUT DRINKS --
ICED TEA, WATER?

ICED TEA'S GOOD.
SAME HERE.

YOU LIKE ART, RORY?
VERY MUCH.

MODERN PAINTING
IS MY PASSION.

I'VE GOT A HOCKNEY,
A KLINE.

WHAT I DON'T HAVE IS
A DIEBENKORN,

SO PLEASE DON'T ASK,
"WHERE'S THE DIEBENKORN?"

OH, YOU WARNED ME
JUST IN TIME!

ONLY RECENTLY GOT
INTO SCULPTURE.

MY LATEST ACQUISITION,
IT'S A ZOLTAN KEMENY --

VERY PROVOCATIVE.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE
ITS AUDACITY?

YES, IT'S VERY
AUDACIOUS.

SO WHAT ARE SOME OF
YOUR OTHER INTERESTS, RORY?

OH, WELL, PULL UP
A COMFY CHAIR THERE, DARREN,

BECAUSE THEY ARE
WIDESPREAD AND EXTENSIVE.

I READ A LOT.
I'M INTO THE RUSSIANS LATELY.

TOLSTOY? TURGENEV?
GOGOL'S MY THING RIGHT NOW.
"DEAD SOULS."

ONE OF MY FAVORITES.

WEREN'T YOU READING THAT WHEN WE
GOT YOUR HARVARD APPLICATION?

YES. YES, I WAS.

I SAW THAT HARVARD LOGO
ON THE ENVELOPE, AND I SAID,

"RORY, GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF
YOUR GOGOL AND GET OVER HERE!"

WE HAVE A TV SOMEWHERE,
BUT IT'S MORE OF A TABLE

TO PUT A CUP OF CHAI TEA ON.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I WATCH WAY TOO MANY SPORTS,
AND I GO TO
ALL THE HARVARD GAMES.

DO YOU LIKE SPORTS?
NO. YES.

THAT IS, WE FOLLOW
CERTAIN THINGS.

WE ENJOY VARIOUS ASPECTS
OF CERTAIN SPORTING ENDEAVORS.

BUT IT WOULDN'T BE THE KIND

THAT YOU COULD ASK
ANY FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS ON.

IT'S A GENERAL INTEREST.

GOT IT. IT'S PRETTY MUCH
A WASTE OF TIME,

BUT IT'S HOW I WASTE MY TIME.
I COLLECT MEMORABILIA, TOO.

I'VE GOT EACH YEAR'S
HARVARD TEAM PENNANT
GOING BACK TO 1927.

LOTS OF DISPLAYED
HARVARD PARAPHERNALIA, HUH?

IT'S ALL OVER THE WALLS
AT THE REC ROOM.

SEE, SEE. LOTS OF PARAPHERNALIA.
WATCH THE RIBS.

AH, HERE ARE THE KIDS.

JACK, JENNIFER,
THIS IS LORELAI AND RORY.

HI, THERE.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

LIKEWISE.
HI.

JACK'S PREMED
AT PRINCETON,

AND JENNIFER'S BOUND
FOR HARVARD, LIKE YOU, RORY.

OH! WE SHOULD TALK!
SURE.

IF NOT TODAY,
ANOTHER DAY, OKAY?
OKAY.

DO YOU WANNA PICK
A TIME NOW OR LATER?
LATER'S FINE.

I'LL MAKE A NOTE
IN MY PALM PILOT.

COOL.
HERE ARE YOUR TEAS.

THANK YOU.

DARREN, WE SHOULD REALLY
GET THE CHICKEN GOING.
RIGHT.

YOU'RE GETTING
MY FAMOUS CHICKEN TODAY.

I HOPE YOU LIKE
CHICKEN.

LOVE IT.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

THERE'S SOME OF MY
HARVARD YEARBOOKS.

PERUSE THEM, IF YOU LIKE.
OH.

JEN, WE SHOULD GO
CLEAN UP.
MM, DEFINITELY.

I WILL SEE YOU
IN A JIFF.

[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

EW.
WHAT?

DID THEY JUST LEAVE
TO TAKE A SHOWER TOGETHER?

OH, GROSS.
WHAT THEY BOUNCED IN TOGETHER,

THEY BOUNCED OUT TOGETHER.

NEW TOPIC.
CAN'T TAKE GRITTY REALITY?

OR SLANDEROUS
POSTULATING.

THEY'RE OFF
THE TENNIS COURT
AND NOT SWEATING?

MAYBE WHEN YOU'RE
THAT WHITE, YOU DON'T SWEAT.

DARREN'S NICE, ISN'T HE?
HE'S VERY NICE.

DO YOU THINK I'M MAKING
A GOOD IMPRESSION?

GREAT IMPRESSION!
HE LOVES YOU.

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE FOUND OUT
YOU SHARE HIS LOVE

OF VARIOUS ASPECTS
OF CERTAIN SPORTING ENDEAVORS.

HEY, YOU STARTED IT.

WE COULD'VE JUST
TOLD THE TRUTH.

I WAS TRYING
TO HUMANIZE US.

YEAH, WITH OUR FUNNY-LOOKING
CHAI TEA TABLE --

VERY HUMANIZING.

[ Raspy voice ]
ZOLTAN KEMENY.

WHAT?
THAT ARTIST'S NAME,

IT SOUNDS LIKE ROBOT LANGUAGE.
ISN'T IT? ZOLTAN KEMENY.

DON'T SAY IT AGAIN.
ZOLTAN KEMENY. ZOLTAN KEMENY.

STOP! DON'T.
ZOLTA...

OH. I'M SORRY.
I'M INTERRUPTING THE FUN.

NO, THAT'S ALRIGHT.
YOU'RE NOT.

WE WERE JUST LAUGHING
AT THE FUNNY HAIRCUTS.

I KNOW. AREN'T THEY A BLAST?
JUST A SEA OF GOOFY SIDEBURNS.

LUNCH WILL BE READY
IN JUST A FEW MINUTES.

ZOLTAN --
STOP!

OH, WOW,
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TABLE.

YES, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
DO THIS.

RORY, HONESTLY,
IT'S OUR PLEASURE.

PERFECT TIMING, KIDS.
Jack: EXCELLENT.

NICE-LOOKING LUNCH,
MOM.

Color-coordinated.
Shh.

GUESTS OF HONOR,
WHY DON'T YOU SIT OVER THERE?

THANK YOU.

OH, FAMILY PICTURES.

YOU HAVE ANOTHER GIRL,
DON'T YOU?

YES, WE DO.
WHERE IS SHE?
WHAT DOES SHE DO?

OH, UH...

SHE'S NOT HERE.

I'M SORRY.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED.

OH, NO, IT'S ALRIGHT.
THAT'S CAROL.

SHE'S A YEAR AHEAD
OF RORY. SHE'S...

SHE'S FOLLOWING
HER OWN PATH.

RIGHT.

CAROL'S DOING
HER OWN THING.
OKAY.

WELL, LET'S EAT,
EVERYBODY.

HONORED GUESTS, PLEASE CHOOSE
FROM THE CHICKEN FIRST.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT
OVER THE BREAST, AS ALWAYS.

SO, LORELAI,
WHAT'S YOUR ALMA MATER?

WELL, I WAS TOO PREOCCUPIED
TO GO TO COLLEGE,

WITH WEIGHING
A COUPLE HUNDRED POUNDS

AND HAVING FEET
TWICE MY NORMAL SIZE AND ALL.

[ Laughing ] I SEE.

BUT SHE TOOK NIGHT CLASSES

AND GRADUATED LAST YEAR.

SHE HAS AN A.A. DEGREE
IN BUSINESS.

OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

IN FACT, IT'S REFRESHING.

MIGHT EVEN BE
TO RORY'S BENEFIT.

GOOD THINGS DIDN'T COME TO
YOUR FAMILY IN ONE FELL SWOOP.

YOU STRUGGLED FOR IT.
THAT'S TRUE.

"ONE FELL SWOOP" --
INTERESTING PHRASE.

VERY.
ORIGIN?

IT WAS COINED IN "MACBETH"
AND DERIVES FROM MIDDLE ENGLISH.

VERY GOOD, SON. YOU KNOW
YOUR SHAKESPEARE THEN, DO YOU?

MORE THAN MOST.
IN WHICH PLAY DOES
FALSTAFF APPEAR?

THAT WOULD BE PLAYS.

"HENRY IV," PART 1 AND 2, AND
"THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR."

SO, THAT WAS A DIFFERENT
FALSTAFF IN "HENRY V"?

THIS IS A LITTLE TRADITION
WITH US -- QUIZZES AT MEALS.

IT KEEPS THE SPRINGSTEENS
SHARP.

VERY KENNEDYESQUE.

MMM, WE LOVE THE KENNEDYS.

AS DO WE ALL.

NOW, THE PERSON QUESTIONED

CAN CHALLENGE ME
WITH A FOLLOW-UP,

IF HE GETS
HIS QUESTION RIGHT.

GETS PRETTY COMPETITIVE.

WELL, IF PISTOLS ARE DRAWN,
WE'RE DUCKING.

JACK,
WHICH POLISH COMPOSER --

CHOPIN.
PATIENCE --

BECAME PRIME MINISTER
OF HIS COUNTRY.

PADEREWSKI?
THAT'S RIGHT.

BUT YOUR IMPETUOUSNESS
COST YOU A FOLLOW-UP.

JENNIFER, CAN YOU GIVE ME
THE 3 SUBCLASSES

OF THE MESOZOIC ERA?

TRIASSIC, JURASSIC,
AND CRETACEOUS.

[ Chuckling ] GOOD.

FOLLOW-UP -- WHAT PRECEDED
THE MESOZOIC ERA?

PALEOZOIC.
HE'S GOOD.

IT'S HARD TO STOP DARREN.

IMPOSSIBLE.
HE'S BRILLIANT.

OPEN QUESTION --

WHAT MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE
HAS THE HEAD OF A MAN,

THE BODY OF A LION,
AND THE TAIL OF A SCORPION?

HERE'S A HINT --

IT'S ALSO THE TITLE OF A NOVEL
BY ROBERTSON DAVIES.

OH, MANTICORE.

VERY GOOD, RORY!

YES, VERY GOOD, RORY.

YES, VERY GOOD, RORY.

Marie:
MORE WATER, LORELAI?
PLEASE. THANK YOU.

DO YOU KNOW WHICH FRENCH CITY,
FAMOUS FOR ITS WATER,

WAS THE CAPITAL OF
COLLABORATIONIST FRANCE?

OH, ME? [ CHUCKLES ]

UM, EVIAN? PERRIER?
LE CRYSTAL GEYSER?

JENNIFER, DO YOU WANNA
HELP LORELAI OUT?

VICHY.
THAT'S CORRECT.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
VICHY WATER. I KNEW THAT.

WHAT ABOUT THE YEAR
OF GERMANY'S VICTORY

IN THE FRANCO-PRUSSIAN WAR?

ME AGAIN?

IF YOU WISH.
I DON'T KNOW THAT ONE.

I DO KNOW ISTANBUL
IS CONSTANTINOPLE,

SO IF YOU'VE GOT A DATE
IN CONSTANTINOPLE,

SHE'LL BE WAITING
IN ISTANBUL.

THAT'S TRUE.

YOU KNOW,
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT,

BUT I'D LIKE TO
WASH MY HANDS.

OUR FAULT.
WE RUSHED YOU IN HERE.

OUR DOWNSTAIRS
IS BEING REMODELED.

YOU HAVE TO USE UPSTAIRS --
END OF THE HALL.

HURRY BACK.
I WILL.

[ SIGHS ]

SO, THAT PAINTING THERE,
WOW.

THE COLORS ARE SO GREAT.
I CAN'T STOP STARING AT IT.

IT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S BY A STUDENT OF MATISSE.

I THINK HE CAUGHT
THE MASTER'S COLORS WONDERFULLY.

OH, MATISSE. LOVE HIM.

I THINK ONLY A CHARLATAN
WOULDN'T.

ANYONE KNOW THE ARTISTIC
MOVEMENT MATISSE CHAMPIONED

AND REFERRED TO AS
"THE WILD BEAST"?

FAUVISM.

CORRECT.
FOLLOW-UP.

AND THEN WE'LL GO
ROUND ROBIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

COMING THROUGH.

OH, S-SORRY.

I JUST HEARD MUSIC.

COOL ROOM.

TOM WAITS.
WHAT?

THE MUSIC.
OH, I THOUGHT SO.

I LOVE HIM.
I WORSHIP HIM. I EVEN
MILDLY STALKED HIM ONCE.

REALLY?
LAST YEAR I HEARD HE WAS STAYING
IN THIS HOTEL, I WENT EVERY DAY,

DRINKING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF
COFFEE WAITING FOR HIM.

DID YOU SEE HIM?
NO, HE NEVER CAME DOWN.

FOR ALL I KNOW,
HE'S STILL THERE.
HAND ME THAT BRUSH?

THAT STUPID MANAGER
MADE ME COVER FOR FIONA TODAY.

THAT GIRL IS A MAJOR
PIECRUST.

EARS?
WHAT?

ON THE CHAIR.
WHAT TIME IS IT?

UM...3:00.
OH, I'M TOTALLY LATE
FOR MY NEXT JOB.

OH, WELL, I GUESS GRANDMA
HAD TO TAKE ANOTHER TRIP
TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM, RIGHT?

ARE THEY ON STRAIGHT?
I THINK SO.

GOOD. WHO ARE YOU?

I'M SORRY.
I'M RORY GILMORE.

YOU'RE ONE OF
THE HARVARD-BOUND?

YEAH --
AT LEAST, I HOPE SO.

OH, TRUST ME, YOU ARE.

YOU'VE GOT THAT REALLY GOOD,
STRAIGHT, SHINY, HARVARD HAIR.

ZIP ME UP?

I'M SORRY.
ARE YOU...CAROL?

YEAH, WHY?

I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT --

WHAT?
WELL, YOU.

WHY?
I DON'T KNOW.

YOUR PARENTS JUST
MADE IT SOUND LIKE --

LIKE I WAS HOLED UP IN
THE CHELSEA WITH A NEEDLE
STICKING OUT?

SCREAMING SID
AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS?

WELL, TO THEM,
THIS IS PRETTY CLOSE.

CAN I ASK YOU WHAT EXACTLY YOU
ARE DRESSING UP LIKE THIS FOR?

MORGAN TANNER'S
4th BIRTHDAY PARTY.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

THIS IS MY FIFTH
BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK.

GREAT TIPS, ALL CASH,
AND, OF COURSE, THERE'S CAKE.

SO, YOU'RE A WAITRESS
AND A BIRTHDAY BUNNY

AND YOU GO TO SCHOOL --
THAT'S PRETTY AMAZING.

I DON'T GO TO SCHOOL.

OH, SORRY. I JUST ASSUMED.
I MEAN, YOUR FAMILY --

MY BROTHER AND SISTER
GOT STUCK ON THAT CONVEYOR BELT.

I HOWEVER ESCAPED SOMEWHERE
AROUND THE 11th GRADE,
THANK GOD.

OH, BUT HEY, NO OFFENSE.
I MEAN, THAT'S JUST ME.

IF YOU LIKE BEING
ON THE CONVEYOR BELT,
THEN GOOD FOR YOU.

I'M NOT ON
THE CONVEYOR BELT.

OKAY.

I'M NOT. I WANT THIS.

I'VE DREAMT OF GOING TO HARVARD
SINCE I WAS LITTLE.

YEAH, A LOT OF 4-YEAR-OLDS
DREAM OF THAT.

IT COMES RIGHT AFTER
MEETING HARRY POTTER.

HEY, I'M NOT GONNA
JUSTIFY MYSELF

TO SOMEONE WITH A...TAIL.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY.

IT'S JUST THAT AROUND HERE,
THE HARVARD BRAINWASHING
STARTS IN THE WOMB.

IF YOU WERE TO TELL
EITHER OF MY SIBLINGS THAT THERE
WAS ANOTHER LIFE CHOICE

OUTSIDE OF THE I.V. LEAGUE
THEIR KHAKIS WOULD WRINKLE.

MAYBE THEY REALLY WANT IT.
NO, MY PARENTS WANT IT, AND
THEY WANNA PLEASE MY PARENTS.

DON'T YOU WANNA PLEASE
YOUR PARENTS?

YEAH, BUT NOT AT THE EXPENSE
OF FINDING MYSELF.

OR YOUR CARROT.

YOU GOTTA HAVE
YOUR CARROT.

SO, TELL ME SOMETHING,
HARVARD HAIR.

HOW BAD DO YOU WANNA PLEASE
YOUR PARENTS?

MY MOM, AND REALLY BAD,
BUT IT'S NOT HARD.

SHE'S OKAY
WITH ANYTHING I DO.

AS LONG AS I'M HAPPY,
SHE'S GOOD.

YOU SURE?
I'M VERY SURE.

THEN YOU'RE LUCKY.

YEAH, I AM LUCKY.

RORY QUICK, WHAT ARE
THE 3 MAJOR HINDU DEITIES?

BECAUSE I'VE MISSED
4 QUESTIONS.

IF I MISS AGAIN,
I WON'T GET DESSERT.

BRAHMA, SHIVA, AND VISHNU.
BRAHMA, SHIVA, AND VISHNU.
HI, OTHER DAUGHTER.

I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
DO A GESUNDHEIT JOKE
WHEN I SAY "VISHNU."

GOOD THINKING.
OKAY THANKS, BYE.

I'LL GO WITH YOU.
I'M GLAD TO HAVE MET YOU.

SAME HERE.
GOOD LUCK WITH HARVARD.
THANKS.

[ SMOOCHES ]
OH. WHAT'S THAT FOR?

FOR NOT PUTTING ME
ON THE CONVEYOR BELT.

YES, THAT WAS
VERY BIG OF ME.

YOU DON'T KNOW.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR
ANSWERING ALL MY DUMB QUESTIONS.

YOU ASKED NO DUMB QUESTIONS,
AND I HOPE MY ANSWERS SUFFICED.

DEFINITELY. BYE.
AU REVOIR.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.
IT DID A WORLD OF GOOD FOR HER.

SHE'S A VERY IMPRESSIVE
YOUNG LADY.
I WHOLEHEARTEDLY CONCUR.

YOU MOLDED HER WELL.
I DIDN'T MOLD HER.
RORY POPPED OUT THAT WAY.

YOU'RE BEING MODEST.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME,
DO YOU?

SO LONG.
BYE.

WHAT DID HE SAY?
THAT YOU'RE GOD-LIKE.

IS THAT ALL?

AND THAT HIS BROTHER
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

WOULD BE HAPPY TO COME AND PLAY
AT OUR NEXT PARTY OR EVENT.

I FIGURED
YOUR GRADUATION PARTY.

I'LL BE VERY POPULAR.
MM-HMM.

ALL IN FAVOR, SAY "AY."

AY. AY.
AY. AY.

LET THE RECORD SHOW THAT THE
FUNDS HAVE BEEN APPROVED

TO CLOSE THE TOWN BANK ACCOUNT
THAT HOLDS THE TOWN FUNDS

IN ORDER TO OPEN A NEW
TOWN-FUNDS BANK ACCOUNT

AT A DIFFERENT
BANKING INSTITUTION.

YOUNG LADIES, IN ANTICIPATION
OF YOUR TARDINESS,

WE SAVED TWO SEATS FOR YOU
RIGHT THERE IN THE BACK.

THANKS FOR THINKING
OF US, TAYLOR.

WHOO! OKAY, RAISE YOUR HAND
IF YOU BATHED IN COLOGNE.

IN THE INTEREST OF
GETTING HOME SOME TIME TONIGHT,

I'D LIKE TO BRING UP
THE FINAL POINT OF BUSINESS,

AND THAT IS A CERTAIN
CITIZEN'S DESIRE

TO OPEN AN OLD-FASHIONED
SODA SHOP IN TOWN.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA.
WHO'S THE GUY?

WHAT OTHER PUTZ WOULD WANT TO
OPEN AN OLD-FASHIONED SODA SHOP?

DISPENSE WITH THE YIDDISH
YOUNG MAN.

THIS IS NOT A TOWN MATTER.

THIS IS A PRIVATE MATTER
BETWEEN YOU AND ME,

WHICH WAS SETTLED
WHEN I SAID NO.
THIS IS A TOWN MATTER

BECAUSE WHEN THIS TOWN IS
IN NEED OF A PARTICULAR BUSINESS

TO PROVIDE NECESSARY SERVICES,

IT'S UP TO THE TOWN
TO BAND TOGETHER AND LURE IT.

HOW DOES A STUPID SODA SHOP
COUNT AS A NECESSARY BUSINESS?

ALLOW ME TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING
THAT WILL MAKE YOU WONDER

HOW WE EVER LIVED WITHOUT IT.

KIRK, IF YOU WILL.

KIRK, I TOLD YOU TO GET
SOMETHING DECORATIVE
TO COVER IT.

MY MOM WOULDN'T LET ME USE
ONE OF HER NICE TABLECLOTHS,

SO I JUST GRABBED A SHEET
FROM MY HAMPER.
TAKE IT OFF.

Luke:
WHAT'S THAT, A TOY?

OH, IT'S AWFULLY CUTE!

THAT IS A PROFESSIONALLY
MANUFACTURED DIORAMA

OF THE PROPOSED BUSINESS.

THERE'S LITTLE PEOPLE
AND EVERYTHING.

THEY LOOK SO REAL.

HEY! IT'S ME,
HOLDING THE TINY ZUCCHINI!

LOOK AT THE HORSE-DRAWN
CARRIAGE.

MY THOUGHT WAS TO PARK IT
OUT FRONT

WITH THE NAME OF THE BUSINESS
ON THE SIDE. IT'S VERY 1800s.

THE HORSE IS TALLER
THAN THE FRONT DOOR!

WAY TALLER.
WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, TAYLOR?

ARE YOU BREEDING
GIANT HORSES?

IT'S SLIGHTLY
OUT OF PROPORTION.

SLIGHTLY? THAT LITTLE GUY THERE
COULD WALK RIGHT UNDER THE HORSE

WITHOUT EVEN DUCKING.
YOU'RE MISSING
THE BIG PICTURE HERE, TOWNSFOLK!

NOW, THIS WONDERFUL BUSINESS
BELONGS IN STARS HOLLOW,

WHETHER LUKE RENTS THE SPACE
WILLINGLY OR NOT.

HOW WOULD I NOT RENT IT
WILLINGLY?

I'M TALKING ABOUT
EMINENT DOMAIN, MY FRIEND.

CHECK THE TOWN'S BYLAWS.

IF A 3/4 MAJORITY
FINDS IT NECESSARY

TO USE A SPACE
FOR A SPECIFIC FUNCTION,

THE LANDOWNER MUST CONCEDE.

THAT'S FOR TAKING OVER HOUSES
TO TURN INTO HOSPITALS

DURING A NATIONAL EMERGENCY
LIKE THE CIVIL WAR.

IF YOU WANNA TURN THIS PLACE
INTO A CIVIL WAR HOSPITAL,
BE MY GUEST.

SOME WOULD ATTEST
THAT MY SODA SHOP WILL
OFFER IS ON THE SAME LEVEL

AS THE COMFORT THAT A HOSPITAL
CAN PROVIDE.

YOU'RE GONNA NEED
A HOSPITAL, TAYLOR.

HIT HIM.
WHICH ONE?

EITHER ONE.

LUKE, THIS SHOP IS BASED
ON THE ORIGINAL SODA SHOP

THAT WAS IN TOWN
80 YEARS AGO!

DON'T YOU SEE?
YOU ARE PREVENTING THE TOWN --

FROM MOVING BACKWARDS.

WHO HERE WANTS
TO DO THAT?

[ High-pitched voice ]
WE LIKE ICE CREAM.

OH, COME ON.

A NICE BURGER FROM LUKE'S
AND AN ICE CREAM SODA, YUM.

YOU WANT THAT THING?
WITH A CHERRY.

THE STRIPED AWNING
AND THE GIANT HORSE?

[ SIGHS ]

BE READY TO PAY
THROUGH THE NOSE.

WE'LL TALK TERMS.

WE HAVE OUR SODA SHOP,
EVERYBODY.

YAY! YAY!

MEETING DISMISSED.

TAYLOR, IS IT TOO SOON
TO TALK ABOUT MANAGEMENT
OPPORTUNITIES?

HEY, YOU GET TO BE TAYLOR'S
LANDLORD. THAT'S KIND OF COOL.

THANKS FOR YOUR LACK
OF HELP.

GRUMP.
[ CHUCKLES ]

SO, HOW WAS LUNCH
WITH HARVARD GUY?

GREAT. HE ANSWERED
ALL MY QUESTIONS.

MAKES KILLER CHICKEN.
HE STICKS A LEMON UP ITS BUTT.

HE GAVE ME EXCELLENT TIPS.
WE'RE VERY IMPRESSED WITH HIM.

HMM. HE PASSES THE TEST.
MM-HMM.

EXCUSE ME, LANE?
THAT'S ME.

OKAY, GREAT,
I'M DAVE RYGALSKI.

RIGHT. HI.
YOU'RE A GUITARIST.
YEAH.

HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS ME?
DEAD KENNEDY SHIRT.

GOOD THINKING.
HEY, ISN'T IT A DRAG

THAT JELLO BIAFRA
ISN'T SINGING FOR THEM ANYMORE?

THEIR FRONT MAN IS
THAT KID FROM "THE COURTSHIP
OF EDDIE'S FATHER ."

WHAT'S NEXT -- URKEL JOINING
THE WU-TANG CLAN?

OR MAYBE "MALCOLM"
FRONTING THE BUTTHOLE SURFERS.

SOME THINGS ARE SACRED.
I'M WITH YOU ON THAT.

SO, WHAT'S YOUR BAND LIKE?
WE DO A LOT OF COOL COVERS.

THE CLASH, THE KINKS,
ET CETERA.

STATISTICALLY, IT'S LIKE
38 OF THE 43 BANDS YOU LISTED.

NICE PERCENTAGE.

I COULD PLAY A SONG
WE DEMO'D

USING A DRUM MACHINE.
GREAT.
WHAT'S ALL THIS?

THIS IS A HEADPHONE AMP.

IT BOOSTS THE VOLUME
AND THE CLARITY.

AND THESE ARE GRADO 125s,

WHICH IS JUST REALLY KILLER,
KILLER PORTABLE SOUND.

I'M SORT OF AN AUDIO GEEK.
SORRY.

NO, DON'T APOLOGIZE.
I LOVE YOU.

FOR THAT --
FOR BEING THAT WAY.

I LOVE IT.
I'M LIKE THAT, TOO.

DO YOU WANNA GO OVER TO THAT
BENCH, MAYBE HAVE A LISTEN?

I THINK A LOVE SONG'S
IN THEIR FUTURE.

WITH LOTS OF LYRICS
ABOUT SNOGGING.

ABOUT WHAT?
HEY.

HEY.
YOU MISSED EVERYTHING.

THAT'S SNOGGING.
GOT IT.

BYE.
[ GIGGLES ]

SO, ANY FIREWORKS?

WELL, THERE WAS A CLASSIC
LUKE/TAYLOR DISPUTE,
BUT IT WAS RESOLVED

AND WILL RESULT
IN ICE CREAM FLOATS
AND 20-FOOT HORSES.

GOOD DEAL.
AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR LUNCH?

OH, IT WAS GREAT. I FEEL SO MUCH
BETTER ABOUT THINGS, NOW.

THE APPLICATION'S NOT
FREAKING ME OUT ANYMORE.

YOU LOOK UNFREAKED.

WELL, NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW.
IT'S FULL-STEAM AHEAD.

THAT'S GREAT.

CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
OF COURSE YOU CAN.

WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU LEAVE?

WHEN I LEAVE WHEN?

WHEN YOU LEAVE FOR HARVARD.
DO WE BREAK UP?

WHOA, THAT WAS BLUNT
AND OUT OF NOWHERE.

IT SEEMS WE SHOULD
BE BLUNT RIGHT NOW.

NO, WE DON'T BREAK UP.
DO YOU WANT THAT?

NO, BUT HOW WILL
WE SEE EACH OTHER?

EASY. WEEKENDS -- THAT'S WHAT
THEY WERE INVENTED FOR.

SO YOU'LL COME HOME, DO HOMEWORK
ALL WEEKEND, THEN LEAVE.

NO, I CAN DO MY HOMEWORK
DURING THE WEEK

OR ON THE TRAIN COMING HOME
TO SEE YOU,

WHO I WILL SPEND MY WEEKENDS
WITH NOT DOING HOMEWORK.

PLUS, WE CAN TALK DURING THE
WEEK ON THE PHONE CONSTANTLY.

TRUST ME. IT'LL FEEL LIKE
I NEVER LEFT.
OH, YEAH?

CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR
SPENDS HALF OF HER LIFE

STANDING IN FOXHOLES
IN THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES,

AND SHE HAS A HUSBAND
AND A KID,

AND SHE WAS ON C-SPAN LAST WEEK
GETTING SOME AWARD.

SO IF SHE AND HER HUSBAND
CAN MAKE IT WORK, WE CAN.

SO WE'LL HAVE ACCESS
TO THE CNN JET?
NO.

OR HEY -- YOU CAN GO
TO COLLEGE IN BOSTON.

I'M GOING TO
JUNIOR COLLEGE.

BOSTON HAS
JUNIOR COLLEGES.

BUT NOT DORM ROOMS.

YOU CAN RENT AN APARTMENT.

WITH THE MONEY I GET
WHEN I WIN THE LOTTERY?

ACCESS TO
THE CNN JET IS MORE LIKELY.

WHY ARE YOU BEING
LIKE THIS, SO --
REALISTIC?

OH, COME ON, BE SERIOUS.

I AM. I AM.

THAT'S TOO SERIOUS.

YEAH, UH, YOU KNOW,
JUST FORGET IT.

[ SIGHS ]

COME ON, WE WERE GONNA GO
TO LUKE'S, RIGHT?

YEAH.

[ SIGHS ]
LET'S GO TO LUKE'S.

IT'S GREAT.
IT REALLY IS.

OKAY, COOL. LISTEN, THEN,
I'LL TALK TO THE GUYS.

UH, WE'LL GET TOGETHER
AND PLAY NEXT WEEK.

SURE!
I'VE GOT TO GET HOME.

ALRIGHT, WELL,
IT WAS GOOD MEETING YOU, LANE.

SAME HERE.

"TRUST GOD" --
IS THAT A BAND?

NO, MY LIFE.

OH, COME ON, YOU DO NOT
LIKE MODERN ART.

WELL, THEN, I WAS MISTAKEN.
I GUESS I DON'T.

I'M A MINDLESS ANDROID.
I HAVE NO OPINIONS.

WELL, WHAT KIND
DO YOU LIKE?

DO YOU LIKE THE KIND
THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE
HEMORRHAGED ON A CANVAS?

I LOVE HEMORRHAGING.

THE SCULPTURE THAT LOOKS LIKE
IT WAS DROPPED AND GLUED BACK?

ACTUALLY, THE REAL
LOVE OF MY LIFE

IS BEING MERCILESSLY TEASED
BY THE TWO OF YOU.

[ Sarcastically ]
OH, WE'RE SORRY.
YEAH, WE'RE SORRY.

KISSES!
OH, IN PUBLIC NO LESS.

HEY, WHERE'S RORY?
WE NEED ALL THE GIRLS
KISSING YOU.

THAT REMINDS ME.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
WITH RORY'S ROOM?

HER ROOM? WHEN?
WHEN SHE'S GONE.

ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING WITH IT?

WELL, I HAVEN'T THOUGHT
ABOUT IT.

WE COULD WORK SOMETHING OUT.
YOU WANT HER ROOM?

FOR WHAT, YOUR BURGEONING
MODERN-ART COLLECTION?

I'M TALKING ABOUT
MY TOOLS.

OH, YOUR TOOLS, YEAH.
WHAT TOOLS?

I HAVE THIS COLLECTION
OF ANTIQUE FARMING TOOLS

THAT MY DAD
PASSED DOWN TO ME.

PREREVOLUTIONARY WAR.
THEY'RE KIND OF VALUABLE.

AND I'VE GOT
NO PLACE TO PUT THEM.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
THE RIGHT SPACE.

IN RORY'S ROOM?
IT'S PERFECT.

BUT SHE'S GOT
ALL HER STUFF IN IT.
NOT FOR LONG.

YEAH, RIGHT,
NOT FOR LONG.

JUST THINK ABOUT IT.

YEAH, I WILL. I WILL.

NO, NO, NOT ANOTHER
BAND PHONE CALL.

YOU NEVER GAVE LANE
A CUT-OFF TIME.

LET THE MACHINE GET IT.
I CANNOT TALK TO
ANOTHER 17-YEAR-OLD

WHOSE EVERY OTHER WORD
IS "UHH."

NOT EVEN A WORD.
EXACTLY.

Hello, Gilmores, this is
Darren Springsteen, how are ya?

I just wanted
to let you know

that I just finished going over
Rory's records here,

and no shock,
they're perfect.

Rory, you are tailor-made
for Harvard.

They're lucky to have you.

As far as I'm concerned,
you should pack your bags.

I'm gonna tell all this
to the people in admissions,

and I'll give your headmaster
a call as well.

So, take care.
We'll talk again. Bye-bye.

THAT'S FANTASTIC,
HONEY.
YEAH.

YOU'RE IN.
WELL, NOT OFFICIALLY.

HE SAID, "PACK YOUR BAGS."

YEAH. COOL.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO
TODAY?

YOU HAVE NEWSPAPER STUFF
TO DO, RIGHT?

YEAH, A TON,

AND YOU WERE GOING TO CATCH UP
WITH SOME STUFF AT THE INN?

A LOT OF CHECK SIGNING TO DO.
ARE PEOPLE WAITING
FOR THEIR CHECKS?

KIND OF.
RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, UM,

THE NEWSPAPER STUFF
CAN WAIT TILL MONDAY.

REALLY? 'CAUSE I COULD SIGN
THE CHECKS TOMORROW.

YOU SURE.
ABSOLUTELY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW. LET'S JUST HANG.

THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

Luke: YOU ORDERED
THAT SIGN WEEKS AGO.

YOU WERE THAT SURE
THAT I'D CAVE IN.

Taylor:
WELL, YOU DID, DIDN'T YOU?

THAT WRITING'S TOO HIGH.

"TAYLOR'S"? IT SAID "STARS
HOLLOW" ON STUPID THE MODEL,

AND I DON'T LIKE THE EXTRA "P"
AND "E" AT THE END OF "SHOP."

I'M YOUR LANDLORD, TAYLOR.

AND AS A TENANT,
I HAVE RIGHTS...

* SMILE, THERE'S NO REGRETS *

* THE YEARS WASH THROUGH
OUR HANDS *

* AND THEN
YOU NEVER SEE TOMORROW COMING *

* YOU ONLY FEEL THE WAKE OF IT *

* SMILE, THERE'S NO... *