All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S03E01 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

[ RINGING ]

[ ALARM RINGING ]

YOU ARE HILARIOUS!

[ BELL RINGING ]

OKAY, LAST NIGHT,
WHEN I SAID TO YOU,

"TOMORROW, NO MATTER WHAT,
MAKE SURE I GET UP AT 7:00,"

WHAT I ACTUALLY MEANT WAS,
"TOMORROW, NO MATTER WHAT,

"MAKE SURE I'M UP AT 7:00
IN CASE WHEN 7:00 COMES,
I WANT TO GET UP,"

WHICH, AS IT HAPPENED,
I DIDN'T.

THEREFORE,
YOU'RE CURRENTLY RESPONSIBLE

FOR THE GREAT
ALARM-CLOCK SLAUGHTER OF 2002.
NO SURVIVORS?

THE ONE SHAPED LIKE A BUNNY
ESCAPED WITH
A MILD DECAPITATION.

THIS IS DECAF.
YOU SWITCHED MY COFFEE AGAIN.

I'M A BUSY MAN.

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SNEAK
AROUND SWITCHING YOUR COFFEE.

I HAVE A DINER TO RUN,
SHIPMENTS TO ORDER.

THINGS TO FLIP AND FRY.
STOP THAT?

HA! HA! HA HA HA!

UNDER THE SINK.
VERY CLEVER.

BUT NOT CLEVER ENOUGH, BUCKO.

OKAY, FINE. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I GIVE UP.

GO ONE DAY WITHOUT COFFEE.

THAT'S NOT GIVING UP.

I'LL PUT A TOY
IN YOUR CEREAL.

DIRTY.
FINE. HERE. YOU WIN.

NOW YOU'RE UP, YOU'RE FED.
I'M LEAVING.

OH, HEY.
WE NEED Q-Tips.

I'LL ALERT THE MEDIA.

SEE, THAT'S BETTER
WITH THE ACCENT.

THE REFERENCE IS ENOUGH.
YOU'LL LEARN THAT ONE DAY.

I'LL BE HOME EARLY.
ANYTHING BESIDES THE Q-Tips?

UM, COTTON BALLS,
WORLD PEACE,

CONNIE CHUNG'S
ORIGINAL FACE PACK...

GOODBYE, CRAZY LADY.

GOODBYE, SID AND NANCY.

LEOPOLD AND LOEB.
WHAT?

I CHANGED MY MIND.

DECAF.
NEVER.

THEY'LL BOTH HAVE TWO HEADS.

MORE TO LOVE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ SIGHS ]

OH! AH!

[ TELEPHONE BEEPING ]

Rory: Hello?

YOU HAVE TO COME HOME.

MOM.
You're gone,
and the house is quiet,

AND BILL MAHER IS CANCELED.

THE NAME OF THE SHOW WAS
"POLITICALLY INCORRECT."

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO
SAY THOSE THINGS.

YOU HAD ANOTHER DREAM.
YES.

THE DOCTOR IS IN.

Okay, I'm lying in bed,

AND I'M SLEEPING -- I'M WEARING
THIS FABULOUS NIGHTGOWN --

AND, LIKE,
30 ALARM CLOCKS GO OFF.

AND SO I GET OUT OF BED,
AND I WALK DOWNSTAIRS,

AND THERE, STANDING
IN THE KITCHEN, IS LUKE.

WAS HE NAKED?
NO.

HE WAS MAKING BREAKFAST.

NAKED?

YOU'VE BEEN IN WASHINGTON
TOO LONG.

SORRY.
HE WAS MAKING BREAKFAST.

EGGS AND PANCAKES AND BACON,

HE PUT DECAF COFFEE
IN MY REGULAR COFFEE --

WHICH, I KNEW IMMEDIATELY.
HI, THE NOSE.

SO, EVENTUALLY, I FIND
THE REAL STUFF UNDER THE SINK.

HE HANDS ME MY BREAKFAST,
AND THEN...

What?

[ SIGHS ]

HE KISSED ME
AND TALKED TO MY STOMACH.

WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

BECAUSE
APPARENTLY I'M PREGNANT...

What?

...WITH TWINS!

[ SIGHS ]

SAY SOMETHING.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE SO FAT.

JUST ANALYZE MY DREAM,
PLEASE.

YOUR DREAM IS TELLING YOU
THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH LUKE,

YOU WANT TO MARRY HIM
AND HAVE HIS TWINS.
UH, NO. TRY AGAIN.

YOU ASKED ME TO ANALYZE YOUR
DREAM, I ANALYZED YOUR DREAM.

I REJECT THAT ANALYSIS,
I'D LIKE ANOTHER ONE, PLEASE.

YOU CAN'T REJECT
AN ANALYSIS AND TRY AGAIN.

YOU'RE NOT SHOPPING
FOR BATHING SUITS HERE.

GIVE ANOTHER ANALYSIS,
OR I'LL PUT YOUR

"TAYLOR HULA-HOOPING DREAM"
INTO A WHOLE OTHER CONTEXT.

I TOLD YOU --
TAYLOR WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAN.

I COULD TELL BY HIS
THICK HEAD OF HAIR.
I'M WAITING.

OKAY, MAYBE YOU'RE STILL UPSET
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH DAD,

AND YOU'RE JEALOUS OF SHERRY

BECAUSE SHE'S HAVING HIS BABY
AND NOT YOU.

MOM?

I MISS YOU.

I MISS YOU, TOO.

Paris: WOODWARD. BERNSTEIN.
HARRY THOMASON.

Is that Paris?

YEAH. SHE TALKS IN HER SLEEP --
LONG, IN-DEPTH ARGUMENTS.

I'M GLAD
I HAVE ONE MORE DAY.

ME, TOO. WHAT DO YOU HAVE
ON YOUR AGENDA FOR TOMORROW?

WE HAVE A BREAKFAST MIXER

WITH MEMBERS OF CONGRESS
AND THE SENATE.

SEE IF YOU CAN STEAL SOMETHING
OFF OF TOM DASCHLE'S PLATE.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
SEE YOU FRIDAY, DOC.

SEE YOU FRIDAY.

[ SIGHS ]

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS
WITH THAT WOMAN.

* IF YOU'RE OUT
ON THE ROAD *

* FEELIN' LONELY
AND SO COLD *

* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS CALL MY NAME *

* AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *
* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW *

* OH, OH, OH *

* WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANY, ANYWHERE
THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *

* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD *

NO WAY.
I SWEAR.

KOSHER BACON.
BEEF, NOT PORK.

I AM SO JEWISH.
Jackson: HEY, SOOKIE,
WHERE'S MY --

JACKSON, HOLD ON.
LORELAI'S HERE.

I'M IN THE KITCHEN.
I'M EATING BACON, SO DON'T --
I -- DA-DA -- AAH!

STOP IT? I'M DRESSED.
HOW DO I KNOW
YOU WEREN'T SHOWERING,

THE HOT WATER WENT OUT, YOU
RUSHED HERE WITH A TEENY, TINY
TOWEL IN FRONT OF YOU?

THAT HAPPENED ONCE.

ONCE WAS ENOUGH.

I GOT THOSE PAINT CHIPS
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU WANT TO
LOOK AT THEM NOW?
NOPE.

I PICKED OUT A COUPLE
OF COLORS.
WHAT ARE YOU PAINTING?

NOTHING.
THE HOUSE.

THE INSIDE.
THAT'S A BIG UNDERTAKING.

IT'S NOT SUCH A BIG UNDERTAKING.
WE'RE NOT UNDERTAKING IT.

BUT IT'LL BE FUN.

RORY AND I CAN HELP.

IF YOU'RE GONNA
COME HERE EVERY DAY,

YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY HEAR
BOTH OF US.

TELL ME WHY YOU'RE
NOT PAINTING THE INSIDE.

BECAUSE IT WAS MY HOUSE,
AND NOW IT'S OUR HOUSE,

I WANT IT
TO FEEL LIKE OUR HOUSE.

I AM HAPPY
WITH THE WAY THIS HOUSE FEELS.

THERE'S FLOWERS EVERYWHERE.

I LIKE FLOWERS.
I'M A PRODUCE GUY.

THE CURTAINS ARE RUFFLY.

I LIKE RUFFLES.

HOW CAN YOU LIKE RUFFLES?

BECAUSE I'M VERY, VERY GAY.

JUDY, VINCENTE HAS TO GO
TO WORK NOW.

GOODBYE, LORELAI.
TELL HER I'M FINE.

I LIKE THINGS
JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.

I'LL TRY.
I'VE GOT TO LEAVE IN A MINUTE.

IS THERE ANY MORE BACON?
HAVE MINE.

WHAT ABOUT MAHOGANY
FOR THE LIVING ROOM,

AND THEN MIDNIGHT BLUE FOR
THE HALLWAY AND THE BEDROOM?

JACKSON JUST SAID HE'S FINE
WITH HOW EVERYTHING IS.

I DON'T THINK
IT'S BUGGING HIM.
NOT NOW.

IT'LL BUG HIM EVENTUALLY,

AND THEN HE'LL RESENT THIS PLACE
AND ME BY EXTENSION,

AND I WOULD LIKE TO
AVOID THAT.

I NEED TO BUTCH
THE PLACE UP.

HELP ME PICK A COLOR.
OKAY, I CAN'T NOW,
BUT I'LL DO IT LATER.

THANKS FOR BREAKFAST.
IT WAS AMAZING.

OH, HEY, BACON'S MANLY.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST

NAIL A BUNCH OF PACKAGES OF
KOSHER BACON ON THE WALLS.

SMELLS LIKE MEAT, BLESSED BY
A RABBI, THAT'S A MANLY HOUSE.
BYE-BYE.

IF YOU'RE STILL THINKING PAINT,
YOU'RE THINKING LIKE A CHICK.

WATCH THOSE STREAMERS -- AND NOT
TOO MUCH RED NEAR THAT TREE.

LIGHT TOUCH, LIGHT TOUCH,
LIGHT TOUCH.

HOW'S THE LEG?
IT'S JUST FINE.

HAVEN'T FOUND OUT
WHO PUT THAT BANANA PEEL
ON YOUR DOORSTEP?

NO, BUT I HAVE
A LIST OF SUSPECTS.

HEY, UM, WHAT'S ALL THIS FOR?

THIS, YOUNG LADY,
IS FOR THE FIRST ANNUAL

STARS HOLLOW END OF SUMMER
MADNESS FESTIVAL.

YOU FINALLY FOUND A WAY TO FILL
SEPTEMBER, DIDN'T YOU?
THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT.

I'M REALLY GOING
ALL-OUT FOR THIS.

I EVEN THINK
YOU'LL BE IMPRESSED.
REALLY? EVEN ME?

YES, SIRREE, MINI-ME.
I DID NOT PUT THE WORD "MADNESS"
IN THE TITLE FOR NOTHING.

THIS PLACE IS GONNA BE CRAZY --
WILD -- FOOD, GAMES --

WE'VE EVEN GOT A BAND COMING
ALL THE WAY FROM NEW YORK.

NEW YORK?!
THAT'S JUST NUTS.

AND WAIT TILL YOU SEE
THE BANNER I ORDERED.

IT'S GONNA MAKE THE
BANNERS WE'VE EVER HAD

LOOK DOWNRIGHT EMBARRASSING.

YOU'RE ON FIRE.
I LOVE THIS BANNER.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT.
COME ON FRIDAY.

EXCUSE ME, YOUNG LADY.

YOUNG LADY?
YOU KNOW I'M TALKING TO YOU.

THE BLONDE WOMAN WITH
THE RIBBONS, PLEASE SLOW DOWN.

I'M IN A WHEELCHAIR.
I CAN'T RUN AFTER YOU.

I MEAN, COME ON,
SENATOR BOXER --

AS ONE OF OUR FOREMOST
DEMOCRATIC LEADERS, I ASK YOU --

DOES IT LOOK GOOD TO HAVE
THE AMERICAN SECRETARY OF THE
TREASURY TRAVELING WITH BONO?

I MEAN, I KNOW APPARENTLY
HE'S A "SAINT,".

BUT MY GOD, HE NEVER EVEN TAKES
THE SUNGLASSES OFF.

WE HAVE AN IMAGE TO MAINTAIN,
DON'T WE?

AREN'T WE TRYING TO PRETEND
WE'RE THE SUPERPOWER
IN THIS WORLD?

WHY NOT SEND CARSON DALY
TO THE MIDDLE EAST

NEXT TIME CHENEY GOES?

HOOK UP FREDDIE PRINCE, JR.
WITH COLIN POWELL

AT THE NEXT MEETING
WITH NATO.

HELL, LET'S HEAR WHAT FREDDIE
HAS TO SAY, RIGHT?

PARIS, DO YOU KNOW

REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN
DOUG OSE FROM CALIFORNIA?

YOU DON'T? GREAT.

YOU TWO WILL HAVE SO MUCH
TO TALK ABOUT. BYE.

UM, BARBARA?

OSE, RIGHT?

YES, THAT'S RIGHT.

LET'S TAKE A WALK.

LAST DAY HERE.
YEP.

IN YOUR OPINION,
HOW IS OUR NATION'S CAPITAL?

I GOT TO SEE ARCHIE BUNKER'S
CHAIR AT THE SMITHSONIAN,

SO IT WAS
A BIG THUMBS-UP FOR ME.

THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THIS
COUNTRY'S PRIORITIES ARE RIGHT.

SO, WHERE'S PARIS?

NOT QUITE SURE.
LAST TIME I SAW HER,

SHE WAS BEATING THE WILL TO LIVE
OUT OF OUR NATION'S
REPRESENTATIVES.

SHE IS A HAMMER.

ACTUALLY,
SHE'S THE ENTIRE TOOLBOX.

I ALWAYS SEEM TO CATCH
THE MOST INTERESTING POLITICIANS

WHEN THEY'RE
GOING TO THE BATHROOM.

HEY, JAMIE.
PARIS...

I GOT A PEEK AT
THE FINAL DEBATE PAIRINGS.

SEEMS LIKE YOU AND I
ARE ON THE SAME SIDE.

YOU'D THINK THEY'D GIVE
SOMEONE A FIGHTING CHANCE.

APPARENTLY NOT.
GOD I LOVE THIS.

YOU DON'T REALIZE HOW
UNQUALIFIED AMERICA'S YOUTH IS

UNTIL YOU GATHER THEM UP
IN A ROOM AND MAKE THEM SPEAK.

WHO ARE WE UP AGAINST?
JASON RAUNSAVALT
AND TY FREDRICKS.

PERFECT.
JASON'S GOT ASTHMA AND TY CRIES.

WE SHOULD MEET EARLY
AND GO OVER STRATEGY.
GOOD, GOOD.

AND THEN TONIGHT
WE SHOULD CELEBRATE.
WHAT IF WE DON'T WIN?

DON'T LOSE IT ON ME NOW.
SO, DINNER?

SURE.
I'LL SWING AROUND
FOR YOU ABOUT 7:00.

SEE YOU AT THE SLAUGHTER.

WOW.
WHAT?

IMAGINE PAIRING ME
WITH JAMIE.

I MEAN, WHY NOT JUST
LINE THE HALLWAYS

WITH SELF-ESTEEM COUNSELORS
RIGHT NOW?

PARIS?
WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHAT?"
HE ASKED YOU OUT.
HE DID NOT.

YES, HE DID.
YOU'RE HAVING DINNER TONIGHT.

IT'S A VICTORY DINNER,
THAT'S IT.

IF HE WANTED
TO CELEBRATE WINNING A DEBATE,

YOU GUYS COULD'VE HAD COFFEE.

BUT HE ASKED YOU
OUT ON A DATE.

HE DID?
YES.

DID I ACCEPT?
YES.

I'M GOING ON A DATE?
YES.

OH, MAN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I FINALLY GET ASKED OUT
AND I MISSED IT?
WAS IT A GOOD ASK OUT?

IT WAS A VERY GOOD ASK OUT.

WISH I'D BEEN THERE.

YOU'LL BE THERE TONIGHT.

TONIGHT.

TONIGHT I HAVE A DATE.

TONIGHT
I HAVE A DATE WITH JAMIE --

A PRINCETON MAN.

I CAN OVERLOOK THAT.

OH, MY GOD.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I HAVE A DATE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

ONE DAY IT OCCURRED TO ME --
COWS NEVER WRINKLE.
MM-HMM.

THINK, HAVE YOU
EVER SEEN A WRINKLED COW?
NO, NOT ONCE.

SO I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
"THAT'S WEIRD."

YES, THAT AND OTHER THINGS.

SO I DECIDED
TO DO A LITTLE RESEARCH.

I STUDIED COWS,
I STUDIED HUMANS.

AND FINALLY, I DISCOVERED THE
SECRET, THE SECRET OF THE COWS.

MICHEL, COULD YOU --
HI, KIRK.

JUST IN TIME.
KIRK IS ABOUT TO TELL US

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
COWS AND HUMANS.

YOU MEAN OTHER THAN
ONE'S A COW?

SHH! GO AHEAD, KIRK.

HAY.

HUH?

HAY. IT'S HAY.
COWS EAT HAY.

AND AFTER SOME EXPERIMENTATION
AND A GREAT DEAL OF RESEARCH,

I DEVELOPED
WHAT I BELIEVE IS

THE NEXT GREAT SKIN-CARE PRODUCT
TO SWEEP THE NATION.

"HAY THERE."
A COMPLETE LINE OF CREAMS,

BALMS, TONING LOTIONS,
AND CLEANSING LIQUIDS.

WE ALREADY HAVE A SKIN-CARE
LINE HERE. I'M SORRY.

I AM WILLING TO GIVE YOU
THREE CASES

OF "HAY THERE" SKIN PRODUCTS
ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE.

TRY THEM. YOU'LL SEE
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

WELL, UH,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, KIRK.

BUT, I'M SORRY,
DON'T COWS EAT GRASS?

SOMETIMES, BUT "GRASS THERE"
IS A BAD NAME.

SO SAD NOT TO HAVE
A COCKTAIL IN YOUR HAND

EVERY TIME HE COMES BY, NO?

[ CHUCKLES ]

INDEPENDENCE INN,
LORELAI SPEAKING.

WHAT DAY IS THIS?

MOM?
WHAT DAY IS THIS?

I HAVE A GROUP OF --
IT'S THURSDAY.

THANK GOD.
NOW, COULD I POSSIBLY --

THURSDAY THE WHAT?

IT'S --
Thursday the third.

AND WHAT WAS HAPPENING
THURSDAY THE THIRD?

I BELIEVE I WAS SUPPOSED TO
CHEW MY OWN HEAD OFF.

YOUR FATHER AND I WERE COMING
HOME FROM MARTHA'S VINEYARD.

YOU SAID WHEN WE GOT HOME,
YOU WOULD CALL US.

I KNOW I DID.
Well, we're home,

AND YET THERE'S NO CALL,
NO MESSAGE, NO CARD.

IT'S 11:00 IN THE MORNING.

I SAID I'D CALL YOU
ON THURSDAY.

I DIDN'T SAY WHEN ON THURSDAY,
I JUST SAID, "THURSDAY."

TECHNICALLY, I HAVEN'T
SCREWED UP FOR ANOTHER 12 HOURS.

EVERYONE KNOWS THAT
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CALL PEOPLE

AS SOON AS
THEY HAVE ARRIVED HOME.
THAT'S THE POLITE WAY TO DO IT.

YOU DIDN'T SAY WHAT TIME
YOU'RE COMING.
You never asked.

YOU NEVER TOLD ME, SO I COULDN'T
KNOW. SO EVEN IF I DIDN'T ASK

I DIDN'T KNOW.
AND IT'S ONLY 11:00 --
[ SIGHS ] I'M SORRY.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
NOW, I ASSUME

WE'LL BE SEEING YOU AND RORY
FOR DINNER TOMORROW.

YOU'LL SEE ME, BUT RORY DOESN'T
GET BACK TILL SATURDAY.

OH, WHAT A SHAME. I THOUGHT
SHE WAS COMING BACK TOMORROW.

NOPE,
SHE'S COMING BACK SATURDAY.

I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED.

I HAD IT WRITTEN DOWN
FOR TOMORROW.

YOU MUST'VE
WRITTEN IT DOWN WRONG, MOM.

YOUR FATHER
THOUGHT IT WAS TOMORROW ALSO.

DO YOU KNOW
WHERE CHRISTOPHER IS?

UM, WHY?

WE WANTED HIM TO COME
WITH YOU AND RORY.

EVEN THOUGH APPARENTLY RORY'S
GETTING BACK SATURDAY.

CHRISTOPHER'S AWAY ON BUSINESS,
BUT I'LL TELL HIM.

TELL HIM TO COME NEXT WEEK.
I WANT TO SEE
THE THREE OF YOU TOGETHER.

YES. THAT WOULD BE
A NICE PICTURE.

ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU TOMORROW.

YES, YOU WILL.

BYE.

MY PLANE GETS IN AT 3:00.
Dean: I'm in at six.

RED, PURPLE, GREEN --
WHERE THE HELL IS IT?

THAT GIVES ME THREE HOURS
TO LOOK PRESENTABLE.

HMM. PERHAPS I'LL GO BLONDE.

I STRONGLY REQUEST
THAT YOU DON'T.
AFRAID OF CHANGE?

NO, I JUST LIKE WHAT I HAVE.
I LIKE A MAN WHO SETTLES.

I MISS YOU.

I MISS YOU, TOO.

HEY, STOP BEING CUTE.
I NEED HELP HERE.

I HAVE TO GO.
PARIS IS MELTING DOWN.

She has a date tonight.
REALLY?

DON'T SOUND SO SURPRISED.

HOW DO YOU KNOW
HE SOUNDED SURPRISED?

BECAUSE I'M A GENIUS, RORY.

I HAVE DEEP AND POWERFUL
CLAIRVOYANT ABILITIES.

OH, BOY.

I CAN INSTANTLY DEDUCE THAT WHEN
SOMEONE HEARS THE NAME "PARIS"

IN THE SAME SENTENCE WITH THE
WORD "DATE," JAWS WILL DROP.

WORDS LIKE "HOW" AND "WHY"
AND "QUICK, BOB, GET
THE CHILDREN IN THE MINIVAN

BECAUSE THE WORLD
IS COMING TO AN END"

WILL IMMEDIATELY FLY
OUT OF PEOPLE'S MOUTHS.

I HAVE TO GO.
YOU SURE IT'S SAFE?

I'LL BE FINE.
I'LL SEE YOU FRIDAY.

SEE YOU FRIDAY.
I LOVE YOU.

THAT'S IT!
I'M SHAVING MY HEAD.

GOTTA GO.

OKAY, PARIS.
YOU HAVE GOT TO CALM DOWN.

I HAD A BLACK SWEATER,
AND NOW IT'S GONE.

I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT RIGHT NOW --

YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN.

I'M NOT DRESSED,
MY MAKEUP'S NOT DONE,

I HAVEN'T GONE THROUGH
THE ZAGAT TO PICK A RESTAURANT.
LET HIM PICK THE RESTAURANT.

WHAT IF HE DOESN'T HAVE
A ZAGAT?
HE'LL WING IT.

HOW COME OTHER GIRLS GET
PLANNED-OUT DINNERS,

FLOWERS, CANDY, ROSE PETALS
THROWN ON THE FLOOR,
AND I GET "WING IT"?

WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW
THAT YOU'VE GOT "WING IT."
I DO. I'VE GOT "WING IT."

I CAN'T DATE. I'M NOT
GENETICALLY MADE FOR IT.

NOT TRUE.
I GET NO PLEASURE OUT OF
THE PROSPECT OR THE PREPARATION.

I'M COVERED IN HIVES.
I'VE SHOWERED FOUR TIMES,
AND FOR WHAT?

SOMEONE WHO HASN'T BOUGHT
A ZAGAT SO WE DON'T WIND UP
IN A RESTAURANT

THAT'S A FRONT FOR
A COCAINE-LAUNDERING RING?

SIT.

IT'S A DARE.

HE WAS DARED TO TAKE ME OUT.

I BET TRENT LOTT
WAS BEHIND THIS.

TRENT LOTT
DID NOT DARE JAMIE.

CLOSE.

JAMIE ASKED YOU OUT
BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU.
NOW LOOK UP.

MAYBE I SHOULDN'T GO.
WHAT IF I FALL FOR HIM
AND HE DOESN'T LIKE ME?

YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE.
WHAT IF THERE'S NO ONE?

THEN YOU'LL
BUY SOME CATS.

I WISH I KNEW IF HE
WAS RIGHT FOR ME, YOU KNOW?

WOMEN FALL FOR MEN
WHO ARE WRONGFOR THEM,

AND THEN THEY GET SIDETRACKED
FROM THEIR GOALS.

THEY GIVE UP CAREERS
AND BECOME ALCOHOLICS.

IF YOU'RE SUNNY von BULOW,
WIND UP IN A COMA,

COMPLETELY INCAPABLE
OF STOPPING GLENN CLOSE
FROM PLAYING YOU.

I THINK YOU SHOULD
WEAR YOUR HAIR DOWN.

HOW DO YOU KNOW
IF A GUY IS RIGHT?

YOU JUST FEEL IT.

ALL I FEEL
IS MY BACK BREAKING OUT.

YOU'LL KNOW, OKAY?

YOU JUST HAVE TO
LET IT HAPPEN.

AND THEN,
WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING,

YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE
WHO COMPLEMENTS YOU.

MEANING?
SOMEONE WHO LIKES
WHAT YOU LIKE.

SOMEONE WHO
READS THE SAME BOOKS

OR LISTENS TO THE SAME MUSIC
OR LIKES TO TRASH
THE SAME MOVIES.

SOMEONE COMPATIBLE.
OKAY.

BUT NOT SO COMPATIBLE
THAT THEY'RE BORING.

SOMEONE WHO'S COMPATIBLE
BUT NOT COMPATIBLE.

YEAH, KIND OF.

I MEAN, YOU RESPECT
EACH OTHER'S OPINIONS,

AND YOU LAUGH
AT THE SAME JOKES,

BUT THERE'S JUST SOMETHING
ABOUT NOT QUITE KNOWING

WHAT THE OTHER PERSON'S
GONNA DO.

IT'S JUST REALLY...EXCITING.

LOOK, JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME.
YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

YEAH, WELL, I HOPE
I FIGURE IT OUT FAST...

BEFORE I THROW UP.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

THAT'S HIM.

TURN AROUND.

WELL?
PERFECT.

PROMISE?
SWEAR.

THANKS. GET IN THE CLOSET.
WHAT?

IF HE SEES YOU,
HE WON'T WANT TO DATE ME.

PARIS, THAT'S CRAZY.
HE'S SEEN ME FOR WEEKS.

YES, IN CONFERENCES,
CROWDED LECTURE HALLS,

BADLY LIT BANQUET ROOMS
WITH CRAPPY FOOD SMELLS --

NOT AT NIGHT
WHEN IT'S DATING TIME,

AND YOU'RE STANDING THERE
LOOKING ALL DATABLE.

I'M NOT LOOKING DATABLE.

AT LEAST IF THERE'S NOTHING
TO COMPARE ME TO,

THEN I'VE GOT
A FIGHTING CHANCE.

[ SIGHS ] OKAY.

WHEN YOU GET HOME,
YOU NEED TO GET A NEW THERAPIST,

BECAUSE THE ONE YOU HAVE
IS REALLY NOT WORKING.

THANKS FOR HELPING ME
GET READY.

ANY TIME.

HI.
HELLO.

YOU LOOK VERY NICE.

WELL, THIS IS
A REALLY GOOD SWEATER.

SO, SHALL WE GET GOING?

OH, SURE. SURE.
DO YOU LIKE ITALIAN FOOD?

I LOVE ITALIAN FOOD.

I'VE MADE A RESERVATION
AT A GREAT PLACE --

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT
THE ZAGAT GUIDE SAYS.

YOU'RE PERFECT.

LET'S GO.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL THEM?

OH, THEY LEFT
TWO DAYS AFTER YOUR WEDDING,

AND THEY WERE IN
MARTHA'S VINEYARD.

IT JUST SEEMED QUIETER.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
MANLY?

IN AN OSCAR WILDE SORT OF WAY,
ABSOLUTELY.

YOU'LL HAVE TO
TELL THEM TONIGHT.

I MEAN,
THE SUBJECT WILL COME UP.

THEY PROBABLY THINK
YOU AND CHRISTOPHER

ARE HEADING DOWN THE AISLE
ANY DAY NOW.

A SHAVING TABLE.
IT'S PERFECT.

AND $1,200.

$1,200 FOR WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR WHAT?
THIS IS AN ANTIQUE.

Where does she come from?

THIS WAS SHERMAN'S.
SHERMAN?

GENERAL SHERMAN --
FAMOUS MAN.

BURNED ATLANTA.
LIKED A CLOSE SHAVE.

ALL ORIGINAL, PERFECT SHAPE.
I'LL GIVE YOU 10% OFF.

YOU WANT IT?
OH, WELL, MAYBE.

I JUST WANTED TO LOOK AROUND
A LITTLE BIT FIRST...

BUT IT'S VERY NICE.

I KNOW IT'S VERY NICE.

BOY, SHE WOULD'VE MADE
A GREAT NUN.

SO, HOW ARE YOU PLANNING ON
TELLING THEM?

I THOUGHT I'D DO IT LIKE NELL,

"CHICA-CHICA-CHICA-BEE."

[ LAUGHS ]
THAT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA.

OH, I'LL TELL THEM.
I PROMISE.

[ GASPS ]
OH, MY GOD! LOOK!

WHAT?

FOR OVER THE MANTELPIECE.
IT'S PERFECT.

IT'S A DEAD FISH.

IT'S AN ANTIQUE STUFFED AND
MOUNTED TROUT, AND IT'S MANLY.

OH, PLEASE.

IT'S VERY RALPH LAUREN.

YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME
YOUR MARRIAGE

DEPENDS ON "LEON TROUTSKY"
OVER THERE.

I GUESS NOT.
JUST THINK ABOUT IT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE NOW.
DO A LITTLE MORE SHOPPING.

MAYBE YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING
EVEN MORE DISGUSTING.

I GOTTA GO PICK UP RORY
AND THEN PICK UP YOU GUYS
FOR THE FESTIVAL.

GREAT.
OKAY, SEE YOU LATER.

10 BUCKS IF YOU DON'T LET HER
BUY THE FISH.
20.

YOU'RE KIDDING.
I NEVER KID.

HMM.
YOU KNOW, I BELIEVE THAT.

HEY, GILMORE!

MOM!

HI!

OH, OH, OH, AH, OH.

[ LAUGHING ] [ LAUGHING ]

LUCKILY, THERE ARE
VIDEO CAMERAS EVERYWHERE

THAT CAUGHT THAT VERY GRACEFUL
MOMENT ON TAPE.

I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU!
I'M NEVER LEAVING HOME AGAIN.

OH, THAT'S
MY EMOTIONALLY STUNTED GIRL.

HEY, I GOT YOU GIFTS.

I'M THE ONE THAT LEFT.
I SHOULD GET YOU GIFTS.

THERE WAS NOTHING TO DO
EXCEPT FEED GUMMI BEARS
TO THE BOMB-SNIFFING DOGS,

WHICH APPARENTLY

THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT
FROWNS UPON.

YOU GOT IN TROUBLE
WITH THE GOVERNMENT?

JUST A LITTLE.
HOW LITTLE?

LEARN RUSSIAN.
OKAY, HERE YOU GO.

WOW. A "HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT"
SWEATSHIRT.

NICE, HUH?

"HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT"
NOTEBOOK, PENCIL SET,

"HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT"
SHOT GLASS --

AND BEER MUG!

"HARTFORD" BAGUETTE,
"HARTFORD" BEAR,

"HARTFORD" SUNGLASSES.

YOU LIKE?
I LOVE.

WE'LL GET YOUR BAGS, THEN HIT
THE ROAD AND HEAR ALL ABOUT
WASHINGTON.

AND I GOT YOU
OUT OF DINNER WITH THE GILMORES.

I THOUGHT YOU AND DEAN
MIGHT ENJOY A LITTLE
"PEACHES & HERB" TIME.

OH...THANKS.
WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM?

THAT YOU GET HOME TOMORROW.
BIG FAT LIE.

YES, WHICH PROVES
HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

I LIED TO MY PARENTS

WHO I NEVER LIE TO,
JUST SO YOU COULD HAVE
A NIGHT OF HAPPINESS,

IS PROOF POSITIVE OF MY DEEP,
UNDYING DEVOTION I HAVE FOR YOU.
I APPRECIATE THAT.

AND ALL OF THAT DEVOTION COULD
BE YOURS FOR THE LOW,
LOW PRICE OF $29.95.

MY BAGS, PLEASE.

YOU WANT THIS GESTURE FOR FREE?
WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE YOU
LIVING IN?

YOU COULD HAVE LEFT
SOME BOOKS AT HOME.

I OFFERED TO CARRY
THAT ONE.

NEXT TIME, INSIST.
LOOK, I'M LOPSIDED NOW.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HOME.

I FEEL LIKE
I'VE BEEN AWAY FOREVER.
I AGREE.

HELLO, LIVING ROOM.

[ High-pitched voice ]
HELLO, RORY. WE MISSED YOU.

[ Normal voice ]
NOT THE OTTOMAN, OF COURSE,
BUT EVERYONE KNOWS HE'S A SNOB.

OH, MY GOD,
I MISSED EVERYTHING!

MY KITCHEN!

MY ROOM! MY BOOKS,
MY CDs, MY STUFF.

WHERE'S MY PILLOW?
YOU TOOK MY PILLOW.

I DID NOT TAKE YOUR PILLOW.

YOU WENT INTO MY ROOM,
AND TOOK MY PILLOW.

YOU WEREN'T USING IT.
WHAT ELSE DID YOU TAKE?

NOTHING. YOUR COMFORTER CAME
INTO MY ROOM BY ITSELF,

AND IT BROUGHT
YOUR BAUHAUS T-SHIRT WITH IT.

I WANT MY STUFF BACK TOMORROW.
JUST 'CAUSE YOU LEAVE DOESN'T
MEAN THE WORLD STOPS.

NOON!
FINE.

DAD?
YEAH.

YOU HAVEN'T TALKED
TO HIM YET?
NO.

YOU?
NOPE.

HE'S CALLED.
HE'S CALLED ME, TOO.

I JUST -- I DON'T REALLY KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
HOW LONG WILL FREEZE HIM OUT?

I DON'T KNOW.
RIGHT.

YOU?
I DON'T KNOW EITHER.

I HAVE TO TELL MY PARENTS
TONIGHT.

ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME
TO GO AND DISTRACT THEM?

NO. DEAN'S COMING OVER.

I'LL BE FINE.
I'LL BRING THEM SOMETHING SHINY.

I'M GONNA GO CHANGE THEN.

FOR WHAT?
THE FESTIVAL.

HONEY, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO,
WE DON'T HAVE TO GO.

WHY WOULD I NOT?
OF COURSE I WANT TO GO.

YOU JUST GOT HOME.
DEAN'S COMING.

I WANT TO GO
BECAUSE THIS IS OUR TOWN,

WE NEED TO SUPPORT
THESE THINGS.

OKAY, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE
TO CHANGE FOR THAT.

I'VE BEEN AWAY FOR A WHILE.
I WANT TO MAKE A NICE
IMPRESSION.

ON WHO?
WHOEVER HAS TO LOOK AT ME.

JUST HUSTLE. I PROMISED JACKSON
AND SOOKIE I'D PICK THEM UP.
I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.

NO WOMAN IS EVER A MINUTE
WHEN SHE CHANGES.

DO NOT JUDGE ME
BY YOUR OWN STANDARDS.

WOW. FANCY.
IT'S NOT FANCY.

YOU'LL HAVE TIME TO COME HOME
AND CHANGE FOR DEAN.

I'LL CHANGE NOW.
SO I WON'T HAVE TO LATER.

OKAY. HEY, RORY...

I DON'T WANT YOU FREEZING OUT
YOUR DAD BECAUSE I AM.

I'M NOT.

I'M FINE IF YOU WANT
THINGS THE WAY THEY WERE.

THAT WOULD BE HARD
THIS TIME.

OKAY. MAYBE NOT NOW,
BUT EVENTUALLY.

EVENTUALLY, MAYBE.

BUT FOR NOW,
SOLIDARITY, SISTER.

YA-YA!
YOU'VE BEEN WAITING
TO DO THAT.

YA-YA!
I'LL JUST BE A MINUTE.

OKAY.

SEE? 3 MINUTES FASTER.

I ALSO FOUND A WAY TO GET
TO AL'S PANCAKE WORLD

THAT SHAVES 40 SECONDS
OFF OUR NORMAL ROUTE.

YOU WERE REALLY BORED
WHEN I WAS GONE?

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

Jackson: ARE YOU CRAZY?!
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!

Sookie: I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU'RE SO UPSET.

HOW CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?!
I TOLD YOU A 1,000 TIMES!

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
JUST BEING NICE.

NICE?! SOOKIE,
LOOK AT THIS PLACE!

OH, JEEZ.
IT LOOKS NICE.

NICE. THIS IS NICE.
THIS IS NICE?!

WELL, IT'S MASCULINE.

NO, IT'S TERRIFYING!

I'll COME OUT IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT FOR A DRINK,

TURN AROUND, HIT THE FLOOR,
AND PLAY DEAD!

SO WE HAVE
A LITTLE WORK TO DO.

PUT IT
BACK THE WAY IT WAS.

NO!
I WANT YOU HAPPY!

I WAS HAPPY!
I SAID I WAS HAPPY!

YOU JUST DIDN'T WANT
TO BELIEVE I WAS HAPPY!

WE'LL JUST CHECK ON THEM
A LITTLE LATER.

EXCELLENT IDEA.

* LAZY, HAZY,
CRAZY DAYS OF SUMMER *

* THOSE DAYS OF SODA... *

OKAY, SO...DO WE DO CHEESE
STICK, HOT DOG, COTTON CANDY,

OR DO WE MIX IT UP --
FIRST COTTON CANDY
AND THEN CHEESE STICKS?

WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
NO ONE. I'M JUST TAKING IN
ALL THE MADNESS.

LORELAI, HAVE YOU USED
THE CREAM YET?

NOT YET, KIRK.

THERE'S BEEN A LITTLE PROBLEM.
NOTHING OF MAJOR CONCERN.

IT SEEMS THAT
WITH CONTINUAL USE,

THE CREAM DEVELOPS SOME WEIRD
REACTIONS TO LIGHT

AND AIR AND MOVEMENT.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

IT'S A SMALL KINK.
IT'LL ALL BE WORKED OUT.

I HAVE 3 CASES
SITTING AT THE INN.

GET RID OF IT,
BUT DON'T THROW IT IN THE TRASH.

THAT WOULD BE
AN EPA VIOLATION.

WHAT SHOULD I
DO WITH IT?

SHOOTING IT INTO SPACE
IS ALL I'VE GOT.

KIRK!
I'LL PICK UP THE CASES
TOMORROW.

HEY.
WHAT?

DO YOU SOMETIMES THINK
THIS TOWN IS WEIRD,

OR IS IT JUST ME?

* LAZY, HAZY,
CRAZY DAYS OF SUMMER *

* THOSE DAYS OF SODA
AND PRETZELS AND BEER *

IS THIS WHERE
THE MOSH PIT STARTS?

HELLO, LORELAI, RORY.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THE BAND?

PRETTY BIG-CITY,
DON'T YOU THINK?

MM-HMM. I SURE DO.
WHAT?

I'M AGREEING WITH YOU.
THEY ARE SMOKIN'.

I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT
SARCASTIC TONE, LORELAI.

NO.
I'M BEING NICE HERE.

YOU HAVE AN OPINION
ON EVERYTHING.

NOTHING IS EVER
UP TO YOUR STANDARDS.

THAT IS NOT TRUE.

I'M SURE THESE GUYS ARE
ALL GREAT BARBERS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER.

THAT IS IT. I HAVE BEEN NICE
FOR THE LAST --

WHAT?

OH. WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
HE'S GOT HIS "WHAT I DID
THIS SUMMER" ESSAY

ALL RESEARCHED
AND READY TO GO.

I GUESS YOU DODGED
A BULLET THERE, HUH?

JUST SEEMS KIND OF LUCKY

YOU DIDN'T THROW EVERYTHING AWAY
FOR JESS WHEN YOU SEE --

SEE WHAT?
WHAT AM I SEEING?

YOU'RE UPSET.
NO. I'M NOT UPSET.

YES, YOU ARE UPSET.
YOU LOOK LIKE MY MOTHER.

THANKS A LOT.
YOU LIKE HER.

YES, BUT YOU DON'T.

SO IT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT.

HONEY, WHAT IS WRONG?

OH, GOD!

WHAT IS IT?
IT'S THAT.

JESS?
YES.

YOU'RE UPSET ABOUT JESS?
I SAID, "YES."

YES, IT'S JESS.
YOU'RE NOT BEING FUNNY.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT "YES"
AND "JESS" RHYME.

DID I EXPLOIT THE OPPORTUNITY?
OF COURSE, BUT...

RORY, COME ON.
I KNOW YOU HAD THIS CRUSH.

IT WASN'T A CRUSH.
I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER.

YOU HAVEN'T TALKED TO HIM
SINCE...
SOOKIE'S WEDDING.

HE WASN'T THERE.
HE WAS. HE HAD JUST COME
BACK, AND CAME TO SEE ME.

OKAY, SO HE CRASHED
SOOKIE'S WEDDING, AND?

AND NOTHING. HE TOLD ME
THAT HE WAS BACK IN TOWN,

THAT HE MOVED BACK
AND...

WHAT, RORY? COME ON.

AND WE KISSED, OKAY?

YOU KISSED?
YES.

YOU KISSED
LIKE YOU KISSED?
YES.

OKAY, WHO KISSED WHO?

WHAT DOES THAT MATTER?

DID HE KISS YOU?
DID YOU KISS EACH OTHER?

I KISSED HIM.
OKAY.

I THOUGHT HE CAME BACK HERE
BECAUSE HE LIKED ME.

I KISSED HIM,
AND HE KISSED ME BACK.

AND NOW HE'S OVER THERE,
AND I FEEL SO STUPID.

THAT GIRL ISN'T EVEN
HIS TYPE AND...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M RANTING.

YOU SHOULD RECOGNIZE THIS.
I LEARNED IT FROM YOU.

YEAH, BUT YOU WENT TO
SOOKIE'S WEDDING WITH DEAN.

AND THEN YOU RAN OFF
TO HAVE SOMETHING WITH JESS.

IT WAS NOT A THING.
A KISS IS A THING.

IT WASN'T PLANNED.
IT JUST HAPPENED.

ALL THIS TIME I'M THINKING,
"SHE'S WITH DEAN."
I AM WITH DEAN.

KISSING ANOTHER GUY
IS NOT BEING WITH DEAN.

ASK HIM.
HE'D BACK ME UP.

IT WAS NOTHING.
WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT?

I'M NOT FREAKED OUT.
KID, YOU HAVE GOT TO MAKE UP
YOUR MIND.

JESS, DEAN. JESS, DEAN.
IT'S ENOUGH ALREADY.

IF YOU WANT JESS,
GO GET HIM.

IF YOU THINK THAT'S THE GREAT
LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, THEN GREAT.

GRAB A LIVER TREAT AND A
SQUEAKY TOY AND RUN TO HIM.

DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THAT GIRL,

BECAUSE HE WILL HAVE MOVED ON
TO SOMEBODY ELSE IN AN HOUR.

BUT DO SOMETHING.
DEAN HAS BEEN SWEET

AND SUPPORTIVE
AND INCREDIBLY PATIENT,

AND NOW YOU'RE OFFICIALLY
TREATING HIM LIKE DIRT.

NOT ONLY IS THAT NOT YOU,
HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT.

GOD, I WISH THEY KNEW
ANOTHER SONG!

I KNOW ALL THIS
ABOUT DEAN.

I KNOW HOW GREAT HE IS.
I KNEW IT BEFORE YOU DID.

KNOWING THIS HAS
APPARENTLY NOT STOPPED YOU

DRAGGING HIS HEART
ALL OVER THIS TOWN.

NOT FAIR!
YES, FAIR. THE FAIREST.

I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH
HIM, CUT HIM LOOSE. LET HIM FIND
SOMEONE WHO DOES.

BECAUSE THIS IS JUST
SO...WRONG.

ALL RIGHT!
I GET IT! JUST STOP!

RORY.

HEY.
HI DEAN..

I THOUGHT YOUR PLANE
DIDN'T GET IN UNTIL 6:00.

I MANAGED TO GET
AN EARLIER FLIGHT.

WELL, I'M OFF TO DINNER
WITH MY PARENTS.

DO YOU...
SHE'S OFF THE HOOK.

YOU GUYS HAVE ALL NIGHT
TO TALK. ENJOY.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK,
DEAN.

THANKS.
SEE YOU LATER.

SO, DID I
INTERRUPT SOMETHING?

NO, NOTHING.
WE WERE JUST...

HI. YOU'RE BACK.

I'M BACK, AND I'M GLAD
TO FIND YOU NOT BLONDE.

I WAS JUST HAVING
WAY TOO MUCH FUN.

I MISSED YOU.

I MISSED YOU, TOO.

* YOU WISH THAT SUMMER
COULD ALWAYS BE HERE **

LORELAI,
NICE TO SEE YOU.

SORRY I'M LATE, MOM.

NO, DON'T BE SORRY.

THAT'S WHAT THE WARM SETTING
WAS INVENTED FOR.

RICHARD, LORELAI'S HERE.

MOM, BEFORE WE GET THE EVENING
STARTED AND ALL,

I WANT TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING.

TELL ME OUTSIDE.
NO. I'LL JUST DO IT HERE.

THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT
STANDING NEAR THE EXIT THAT'S
WORKING FOR ME.

YOU DON'T DISCUSS THINGS
STANDING BY A DOOR.

I MAY HAVE TO TAKE
ONE MORE CALL TONIGHT.

BEN STELLEN AND I GOT CUT OFF.
HELLO, LORELAI.

COME OUTSIDE WITH US
UNTIL HE CALLS BACK.

LORELAI'S ABOUT TO TELL US
SOMETHING.

OH, PERHAPS THAT SHE'S DECIDED
TO BUY AN ACCURATE TIMEPIECE.

OH, NOW, RICHARD.
IS RORY OKAY?

OH, YES, RORY'S FINE.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE
TO DRINK?
WHATEVER.

I CAN'T READ MINDS.
I DON'T CARE, DAD.
WHATEVER YOU HAVE.

WE HAVE EVERYTHING.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL HAVE A
JAGERMEISTER AND A JELLO SHOT.

EXCUSE ME?
WHITE WINE.

ALL RIGHT.
SIT. SIT.

NOW GO AHEAD.
TELL US.

OKAY, WELL --

OH! WAIT JUST A SECOND.

WE BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING
FROM MARTHA'S VINEYARD.
OH, THAT'S GREAT.

MAYBE WE COULD JUST -- OKAY.
I GUESS IT'S PRESENT TIME.
OPEN IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SCONE MIX. WOW.

THIS NEW LITTLE PLACE OPENED
DOWN THE ROAD FROM OUR HOUSE,

AND THEY MAKE
THESE WONDERFUL SCONES.
AND THAT IS THEIR MIX,

SO YOU CAN MAKE THEM
IN YOUR OWN KITCHEN.
THANKS, MOM.

I WILL PUT THIS ON THE COUNTER
AND STARE AT IT FOR MANY YEARS
TO COME.

YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO MAKE THEM?
I'M NOT A BAKER.

THE INSTRUCTIONS ARE
ON THE BAG.
BUT STILL...

THOSE ARE GOOD SCONES.

I'LL GIVE THIS TO SOOKIE,
AND SHE'LL BAKE THEM.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN'T
FOLLOW THOSE DIRECTIONS.

RORY WOULD LOVE
THOSE SCONES.

OKAY. I PROMISE.
THE SCONES WILL GET EATEN.

THAT BEING SAID,
CAN WE MOVE ON?

FINE. GO AHEAD.
TALK. WE'RE LISTENING.

UM...OKAY.

WELL, UM,
IT'S ABOUT CHRISTOPHER.

OH, THAT REMINDS ME.
WE GOT HIM A CAPTAIN'S HAT.

WHERE IS THAT HAT?
LORELAI COULD BRING IT TO HIM.

NO, I CAN'T.
WHY NOT?

WELL, IT'S JUST, UM...

CHRIS AND I AREN'T --

AREN'T WHAT?

THEY AREN'T TOGETHER ANYMORE,
RICHARD.

WHY NOT?

I'M SURE A VAGUE REASON IS
FORTHCOMING.

IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT,
THAT'S ALL.

AND THERE IT IS.
YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED.

DISAPPOINTED? OH, PLEASE.
LORELAI, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

YOU AREN'T
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I KNOW.

LET'S NOT TALK
ABOUT THIS.

NO. WE ARE GOING
TO TALK ABOUT IT.

YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND LIKE YOU
HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY IN LIFE,

LIKE YOU CAN FLIT
FROM THING TO THING,
FROM MAN TO MAN.

I DON'T FLIT
FROM MAN TO MAN.

YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER.
THIS AFFECTS RORY, TOO.

YOU'RE WASTING
YOUR BREATH.

I KNOW THIS AFFECTS RORY.
I'M NOT DOING THIS LIGHTLY.

IN FACT, I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING
AT ALL!

THERE'S NO REASON
TO RAISE YOUR VOICE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I WANT TO KNOW WHY!

I DON'T WANT ANY
OF THIS "JUST BECAUSE"

AND "IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT"
NONSENSE.

I WANT A SOLID, ADULT REASON WHY
THE FATHER OF MY GRANDDAUGHTER

AND HER MOTHER CAN'T SEEM
TO PUT A FAMILY TOGETHER.

HIS GIRLFRIEND IS PREGNANT.
WHAT?

SHERRY IS PREGNANT.
WHEN CHRISTOPHER FOUND OUT,
HE WENT BACK TO HER,

AND THAT, MOTHER,
IS THE REASON.

ARE THEY GETTING MARRIED?
PROBABLY.

OF COURSE
THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED.

I KNOW CHRISTOPHER,

AND CHRISTOPHER ALWAYS TRIES
TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

THE RIGHT THING IS TO BE
WITH HIS FAMILY.

LORELAI AND RORY ARE
HIS FAMILY.

HE MET HER TWO MINUTES AGO.
HE IS GOING
TO BE A FATHER.

HE ALREADY IS A FATHER.

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS
THIS ANYMORE.

LORELAI, YOU HAVE
TO TALK TO HIM.
THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

TELL HIM YOU WANT
TO GET MARRIED.
PLEASE, STOP.

YES, EMILY.
PLEASE, STOP.

YOU KNOW LORELAI NEVER DOES
ANYTHING UNLESS SHE WANTS TO,

NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES
TO ANYONE ELSE.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
LORELAI WANTS TO BE
WITH CHRISTOPHER.

SHE TOLD US
AT THE WEDDING.

YES. AND NOW THE WIND
HAS CHANGED.

CHRISTOPHER IS LIVING UP
TO HIS RESPONSIBILITIES

AS HE TRIED TO DO MANY YEARS AGO
WITH LORELAI.

SHE TURNED HIM DOWN.
I WAS 16.

IF CHRISTOPHER
HAS FOUND SOMEONE

WHO WILL ACTUALLY ALLOW HIM

TO BE A FATHER
TO HIS OWN CHILD,

THEN THAT'S WHAT
HE'S GOING TO DO.

YOU SUPPORT THIS?

I UNDERSTAND THIS.

I AM APPALLED
BY YOUR ATTITUDE.

AND I AM SHOCKED
BY YOUR NAIVETÉ.

DID YOU REALLY EXPECT THIS
TO WORK OUT?

DID YOU REALLY HAVE PICTURES

OF NORMAN ROCKWELL
FAMILY CHRISTMASES

DANCING IN YOUR HEAD?

LORELAI HAD HER CHANCE
FOR A FAMILY.

SHE WALKED AWAY FROM IT.

THAT WAS HER CHOICE.
HE HAS A CHANCE TO BE A FATHER.

I APPLAUD HIM.
THEN YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M GOING INTO MY STUDY.

YOU DO NOT WALK OUT ON ME WHEN
WE ARE HAVING A DISCUSSION.

RICHARD!

[ BANGING ]

DON'T HURT IT!

WE'RE CLOSED.

I KNOW.

LOOK, I DIDN'T COME HERE
TO MAKE UP

OR TO TRY TO GET YOU
TO FORGIVE ME OR TALK.

I WOULDN'T EVEN
HAVE COME HERE AT ALL,

BUT I HAD
A REALLY CRAPPY NIGHT,

AND I REALLY, REALLY NEED
A CUP OF COFFEE.

JUST PRETEND I'M NOT ME.

I'M MIMI, A NEW CUSTOMER.

I'VE NEVER BEEN IN HERE
BEFORE.

I WAS JUST WALKING
DOWN THE STREET,

AND I SPOTTED THIS PLACE.

"OOH, HEY, NICE PLACE."
AND I CAME IN.

NOW MIMI IS GOING TO POUR
HERSELF A CUP OF COFFEE

AND SIT OVER HERE
WAY FAR AWAY FROM YOU.

AND SHE PROMISES
JUST AS SOON AS SHE'S DONE,

SHE WILL RINSE OUT HER OWN CUP
AND LEAVE.

THIS IS THE SECOND TIME
I LET MYSELF DO THIS.

[ SIGHS ]
DO WHAT?

THINK I FINALLY FOUND IT.

FOUND WHAT?

LOVE, COMFORT, SAFETY.
AH.

I MEAN, FIRST WITH MAX, WHICH,
OF COURSE, I SCREWED UP.

AND THEN WITH CHRISTOPHER,
WHICH, OF COURSE,

ALL THE ELEMENTS OF THE UNIVERSE
GOT TOGETHER TO SCREW UP.

IT'S TOUGH WHEN THE UNIVERSE IS
AGAINST YOU.

THAT'S LIKE TAKING ON
THE MANHATTAN GARBAGE UNION.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT IF HE COULD
JUST GET IT TOGETHER, GROW UP,

MAYBE WE COULD DO IT.

MAYBE WE COULD REALLY
BE A FAMILY

IN THE STUPID, TRADITIONAL,
DAN QUAYLE, GOLDEN RETRIEVER,

GROW OLD TOGETHER, WEAR MATCHING
JOGGING SUITS KIND OF WAY.

[ SIGHS ] AND THEN HE DID
GET IT TOGETHER.

HE BECAME THAT GUY.

[ Crying ] AND HE GETS TO BE
THAT GUY WITH HER.

CHRIS IS GONNA HAVE A BABY
WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND.

HE'S GONNA MARRY HER.

HE'S GONNA BE THERE FOR HER
WHILE SHE'S PREGNANT

AND HE'S GONNA BE THERE WITH HER
WHILE THEIR CHILD GROWS UP

AND HE'S GONNA BE THERE FOR HER
WHILE SHE DOES...

WHATEVER IT IS SHE DOES.

AND I AM IN EXACTLY
THE SAME PLACE

THAT I WAS IN BEFORE.

IS THAT SO BAD?
YOU GOT RORY.
YES, I DO.

YOU GOT FRIENDS.
YOU GOT A HOUSE, A JOB,
APPARENTLY AN IRON STOMACH.

NO, IT'S NOT SO BAD.
I'M LUCKY. I KNOW.

I JUST -- I FEEL LIKE
I'M NEVER GONNA HAVE IT --

THE WHOLE PACKAGE,
YOU KNOW --

THAT PERSON,
THAT COUPLE LIFE.

AND I SWEAR [SIGHS]
I HATE ADMITTING IT

BECAUSE I FANCY MYSELF
WONDER WOMAN,

BUT...

I REALLY WANT IT --

THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

YOU'LL GET IT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?

I KNOW.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE I KNOW, OKAY?
NOW EAT YOUR DOUGHNUT.

I'M REALLY NOT VERY HUNGRY.

TAKE IT WITH YOU.
YOU WILL BE LATER.

FIRST-TIME CUSTOMERS
ARE ON THE HOUSE.

MIMI WAS IT?
YEAH.

COME AGAIN, MIMI.

THANKS. I WILL.

IT SEEMS LIKE
A VERY NICE PLACE.

[ KEYS CLANGING ]

HEY, YOU'RE HOME.
YEP, I'M HOME.

I FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET

"THE LAZY, HAZY, CRAZY DAYS OF
SUMMER" OUT OF OUR HEADS --

SING THE "SMALL WORLD" SONG
OVER AND OVER
FOR THE NEXT 48 HOURS.

OF COURSE, HOW TO GET THE "SMALL
WORLD" OUT OF OUR HEADS
I HAVE TO WORK OUT.

[ SIGHS ] OKAY, SEE, THAT WAS
NOT HOW THAT WHOLE SCENE

WAS SUPPOSED TO GO.

NO?
NO. I --

I MEAN, YES,
I WAS SURPRISED,

AND I DO THINK THE BASIC
SENTIMENT OF "MAKE UP YOUR MIND"
IS KIND OF CALLED FOR.

ABSOLUTELY CALLED FOR.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU
AND YELL AT YOU

AND MAKE YOU FEEL BAD.
I'M SORRY.

I KNOW,
BUT YOU WERE RIGHT.

AH, WELL, THAT'S ONCE,
I GUESS.

SO HOW WAS DINNER?
SO HOW WAS DEAN?

SO HOW WAS DINNER?
HOW WAS DEAN?

THE WILLIAMS SISTERS TAKE CENTER
STAGE AT WIMBLEDON ONCE AGAIN.

DINNER WAS BAD.
SORRY.

THAT'S OKAY.
I KNEW IT WOULD BE.

GOOD NEWS IS WE CAN
GO BACK TO LUKE'S.

HOW DID YOU MAKE UP?

WELL, I'M MIMI NOW.
OH, SURE.

SPEAKING OF DEAN,
IS THERE STILL A DEAN?

YEAH,
THERE'S STILL A DEAN.
REALLY?

MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE I HAVEN'T
DATED A LOT,

BUT THIS JESS THING
WAS CRAZY.

I LOVE DEAN,
AND YOU WERE RIGHT.

I WASN'T APPRECIATING WHAT WAS
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME,

BUT I'M GOING TO NOW.

RORY, I DON'T WANT YOU TO STAY
WITH DEAN BECAUSE OF ME.

I KNOW.
I WAS UPSET EARLIER.

I STILL HAVE THIS CHRISTOPHER
THING BUGGING ME

AND THE PRESSURE
OF TONIGHT'S DINNER.

I KNOW.
AND I CERTAINLY
DON'T WANT YOU

TO MAKE AN IMPORTANT DECISION
OFF OF --

MOM.
BECAUSE IT'S
TOO IMPORTANT.

MOM, ALL I DID WAS THINK ABOUT
WHAT YOU SAID.

THEN I ANALYZED
THE SITUATION.

THEN YOU MADE
A PRO AND CON LIST.

YOU'RE MOCKING ME, BUT,
I DID AND THEN I CAME
TO THE CONCLUSION

THAT I WANT TO MAKE THINGS GOOD
WITH DEAN AND HE DESERVES
ALL MY ATTENTION.

YOU FEEL GOOD?
I FEEL REALLY GOOD.

OKAY, BECAUSE IF YOU DECIDED YOU
REALLY DID WANT TO DATE JESS,

I WOULD HELP YOU...

GET VACCINATED.

THANK YOU, BUT I'M GOOD.

ALL RIGHT.
AS LONG AS YOU'RE GOOD...

I AM GOOD.
WELL, OKAY, GOOD.

ARE YOU GOOD?
ME?

WELL, I'M GONNA BE GOOD.
IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO?

YOUR EXISTENCE IS
A HUGE HELP.

WE'RE BOTH GONNA BE GOOD.

YEAH.

I WONDER IF CHRISTOPHER
AND SHERRY'S BABY

IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE ME.

IF THE KID KNOWS WHAT'S GOOD
FOR IT, IT ABSOLUTELY WILL.

HAND ME MY PURSE, WILL YOU?
I'M HUNGRY.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[LAUGHS]

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]