All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S02E15 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

It still hurts!

Do you need stitches?
Probably.

We should go to a doctor.

No! You go into a hospital,
You don't come out again!

Well said,
Ida morgenstern.

I'm starving.
I need pancakes.

Can I just ask what on earth you
Thought you were doing?

I thought I was being
A self-sufficient woman.

You hate ladders.
You hate heights.

We needed our rain gutters
Cleaned.

Yeah, well, hire somebody.

Aren't we suddenly a
Rockefeller.

It's better than you killing
Yourself.

I'm just being dramatic.
It's what I do.

No more ladders.

I promise.
Okay.

I think I have gangrene.
You do not.

And vertigo.
Oh, boy.

One leg feels shorter than
The other.

This is gonna be the
Vanity fair paper-cut incident

All over again, isn't it?
Wow.

Leave your bandage alone.

Look, it's turning purple,
But a really glowy purple!

No, thanks.

Maybe our rain gutters are
Radioactive

Or made out of some
Kind of alien metal

So I got infected with an
Extraterrestrial substance

Which is altering
My internal makeup.

Maybe I'll turn into
A superhero!

Maybe.

Maybe tomorrow,

I'll wake up and be able
To shower really fast!

We'll go pick out your cape
After breakfast.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to *

* if you need *
* if you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow *

* oh, oh, oh *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need *
* if you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow where you lead *

God, I am starving.
Must be from the loss of blood.

Yes, that must be it.

I'm getting pancakes
With a side of pancakes.

Where's luke?
I don't know.

Storage room?

Oh, no.
Caesar's cooking.

Why is caesar cooking?!
I don't know!

That's bad.
His pancakes stink.

They do stink.

Well, what do we do,
Resort to doughnuts?

Wait here.

Hey, luke,
Are you in there?

Ow! [ thud ]

Luke, are you okay?

Stupid -- [ thud ]
Stupid lamp!

[ glass shatters ]

Are you being attacked by your
Possessions again?

Hey.
Whatcha doing?

I'm looking for my supply
Ledger.

Is it going well?
It's going fine.

You have a sock on your
Shoulder.

Is it helping you?
Why are you here?

Rory and I are starving.

We need you to cook us
Breakfast.

Oh, my god.
Caesar can make you
Breakfast.

What happened here?
Nothing.

This is what I pictured the
Inside of my head to look like.

See if you can find a brown
Leather ledger.

It looks like a white-trash
Hearst castle in here.

I'll find it myself.
Where'd all this come from?

Jess. Liz shipped the rest of
His stuff last week.

He finally unpacked.
He did a very nice job.

I just have to get it all
Organized,

Figure out where to put
Everything,

Buy another dresser, a portable
Wardrobe, some storage bins.

Can of gasoline,
Box of matches.

Did I mention caesar can cook
You breakfast?

He doesn't make good, fluffy
Pancakes like you do!

Then order eggs!

No! [ sighs ]

See, I had a near-death
Experience today.

Really.
Yes.

I almost fell off the roof

Trying to clean the rain
Gutters,

So I have to have pancakes.

Please? I'll help you shower
When I become a superhero.

You've been in there
For two hours.

My hair just ain't bouncing and
Behaving today.

There are other people living
Here, too, you know.

Huh. Learn something new
Every day.

Well, his people skills
Are really improving.

Go downstairs.
I'll be there as soon as I can.

How long's that?
I don't know.

An estimate.
I don't know.

Ballpark figure.
Off the top of your head.

I almost fell off
My roof today!

I'd lie down
If I could find the bed.

Oh, is this what
You're looking for?
Yes, great. Thank you.

Not unless you make me
The pancakes.

Give me the book.
Give me the pancake!

Come on.

Thank you!

You sure you weren't
Almost pushed

Off the roof of your house
Today?

Well, I think I'm finally ready
To get a tattoo.

Please, you've been saying that
For the last five years.

I know,
But I mean it this time.

Fine.
What are you getting?

Mel brooks.
Why?

What do you mean "Why?"
"The 2,000 year old man."

"Young frankenstein."
"Silent movie."

You don't think mel has
Earned the right

To have his face on my butt?

I am so sorry, mel.

Oh, he'll love it.
Trust me.

So, rocky-road hot-fudge sundaes
To go with the movies?

Trying to give mel a bigger
Canvas to work with?

The man's a legend.
He deserves the best.

Hey.
What?

Luke.

What's he doing?
I'm not sure.

Will you go get the ice cream?

Make sure they give us a ton
Of maraschino cherries.

Okay.
Thanks.

[ indistinct talking
On television ]

Hey.
Hey. What are you doing?

Rory and I just hit
The video store.

Now we're on our way home

To eat something you wouldn't
Approve.

Sounds good.

What are you doing?

Watching tv.
Wow, that's cute.

Is it the first time it's been
Away from its mother?
It's a very good tv.

Black and white, coat-hanger
Antenna, really bad reception.
It's fine.

Don't you have a fully-grown tv
Upstairs?

Yeah, well,
Jess is upstairs.
So?

So when jess is upstairs

That means the stereo's blaring
And the place is a mess.

I just needed a little
Privacy.

So you came downstairs to sit on
An uncomfortable chair

In an empty diner that smells
Like onion rings.

Yes.
Calgon, take me away.

It was very peaceful
Until two minutes ago.

Did you ever think

That maybe you should get a
Bigger apartment?

I don't need a bigger
Apartment.

That place upstairs was your
Father's office.

It was never meant
To be lived in.

It's fine.
It's too small.

It's too small for one person
If they have any life.

We just need to organ--

No, you don't need to organize.
You need to move.

I like my apartment.

It's not just your apartment.
Jess lives there also.

Jess is fine.
Are you sure?

He could be pinned under a box
And you wouldn't know it

Until the neighbors started to
Complain about the smell.

Hey.

Rory. Perfect.
Get her out of here.

Uh, okay, fine.
I'm leaving.

Think about what I said.

Did you hire anybody
To do that work?

What?
The rain gutters.

Oh, no, not yet.
Are you offering?

No, actually, I was
Thinking about jess.

Jess?

He's always looking for a little
Extra cash.

He doesn't make that
Much here,

I hate to think of where
Else he'd try to get it.

You don't have to pay him the
Same as you would someone else.

You save a little.
He keeps busy.

Yeah, well, maybe.

I actually have to check

With a couple of people I'm
Supposed to hear from,

But if they can't,
Then, sure.

Great.
Just let me know.

I will.

Bye.

Who are all these people you
Asked to clean out our gutters?

Well, you know.

I do?
Yeah.

Remind me.

Okay, well, there's cid.

Oh, cid, right.

And then there's lou.

Yeah, a good man, lou.

Oh, and moose, if doris will let
Him out of the house

After that incident
At chicky's bachelor party.

I thought you said you were
Gonna give jess a chance.

I am.

Then why won't you hire him?

I'm just...Not very comfortable
With him, rory.

Well,
Try and get comfortable.

I don't know if I can.
But you said --

I know what I said,
But I can't help it.

How many times do I
Tell you --

That I don't know
The real jess?

Fine, I don't know him, but I'm
Not too fond of his stand-in.

People are different
Once you get to know them.

You weren't too fond
Of luke either.

You called him "Duke" for two
Years just to make him mad.

And let me tell you,
It worked.

But then you guys talked, and
Eventually, time went by.

Now you love him.

I'm just asking you to give jess
That same chance.

Rory, you like him.
I don't have to like him.

Please.

Can I call him "Tess"
For a while?

You'll give him the job?

I'll give him the job.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Tell me something.
What?

Why is it so important to you
That I like him?

Well...I just think that
He's luke's nephew,

And we like luke, and we eat
At luke's every day,

And we see jess when we eat
There every day.

It just might make things nicer
If you liked him.

And that's
The only reason.
Yes.

It's all about luke
And the diner.
Yes.

It has nothing to do
With you.
No.

So you and jess
Aren't...Friends?

Well, yeah, we're friends.
Uh-huh.

I mean, we're not good friends,
But we're friends.

We're friendly, but that doesn't
Mean that we're friends

In the traditional

Webster's dictionary definition
Of "Friends."
Right.

"Friendish" might be
A better term.
Okay.

Friendish.
Got it.

And pump your arms and walk.

And shoulders back,
Tushies in.

Think about that double chin.

And walk and walk and walk.

And tummies tight and walk.

Match me, sweetheart.

[ hard-rock music blaring ]

Jess?

[ music stops ]

How can anyone sleep
Through that?

It's like the huns
Are attacking.

Well, you're oblivious. That's
Why you can just lie there

While the rest of the world is
Going deaf.

Oh, great.

[ sighs ]

Damn it.

Damn it.

Damn it.
Damn it!

Whoa! Jeez!
What the hell!

I can't stand it!
I'm going crazy!

This place is awful!
I can't live like this.

Just relax.

I can't relax.
I can't sleep.

I'm having nightmares about
Boxes with arms,

They tackle me and pile
Clothing on top of my face

Secure it around my
Head with packing tape,

I'm just lying there
Choking

While you're sitting
In the corner laughing,

Putting gel in your hair
With a switchblade!

Should I be put a tongue
Depressor in your mouth?

We're moving. Tomorrow.
What are you talking --

I'm talking about you and me
Finding a new place to live.

But I --
No buts!

10:00 tomorrow morning,
I want you up, washed,

Moussed, and ready to leave,
End of story.

Now go back to bed.

What?

I need the music on
To sleep.

[ hard-rock music blaring ]

Forget it.
Why? What was wrong
With that one?

It was pink.
We can paint it.

We can paint it together.

Great. Then we can hold hands
And skip afterwards.

Which one do you like?
The one before.

The one with two fridges?
No.

The one before was the one
With two fridges.

The one with the cat.
I hate cats.

I don't think the cat came
With the place.

It's always gonna smell
Like a cat.

Clean the carpet.
Paint the pink.

The one next to the bank.
Too many windows.

What?
Six windows all on one side,

3:00 in the afternoon, we're
Sitting in an oven.

We get curtains.

You'll have to help
Me put them up.

Then we can hold hands and
Skip afterwards.

I don't care.
Pick whichever one you want.

I'm not picking by myself.

You're the one that wants
To move.

So you like living
The way we do --

No space, no privacy?
I got plenty of privacy.

Because I'm sitting downstairs
In the dark.

You're the one with the problem.
You make the choice.

I have to go.
We got three more.

I'm supposed to be at lorelai's
In 20 minutes, remember?

If you want me to bail
On her, fine.

No, you go.
I'll look at the places.

I'll take some polaroids.

Take a polaroid, paint a still
Picture, whatever you want.

Jess, come on.

Nobody asked me if I wanted
To move to stars hollow,

But I'm here. Pick whatever
Place you want, I'll be there.

Mom?

Come here. Come here.
Come here.

I'm here.
What's the matter?
Sit, sit, sit.

Okay, that should do it.

Do what?
Wait.

What are we waiting for?

Patience, grasshopper.

Are we close?

Very close.

Hmm.
Getting closer.

Should I get chips?

Ready?
And..

[ pig squealing ]

The clock is grunting.

This is a state-of-the-art
Cd clock radio

That enables you to wake up

To the barnyard animal of
Your choice.

I have selected the perky
Piggies.

You might choose the cheery
Chickens or the goofy goats.

This is as close as it gets.
Amen, sister friend.

[ knock on door ]

I'll get it.

Hey.
Here.

The shags?
Trust me.

Okay.
You're very punctual.

It was this or continue
Apartment hunting with luke.

You're moving?
I don't know.

Luke flipped out last night,
And the next thing I know,

He's banging on pipes and
Measuring square footage.

A new place might be nice.
Maybe you'll get your own room.

You change your hair?

What?
Your hair looks different.

Segue's not your thing,
Huh?
Is it?

No, I wear it like this a lot.
Why?

Just looks different.

Oh. Bad different?

[ duck quacking ]
Hey! Ducks!

We just got
A new alarm clock.

Bet I know
What the lead story

In the stars hollow gazette's
Gonna be tomorrow.

Did you hear the ducks?
'cause they are...Great.

Oh, jess, you're here.

Terrific.

So...Um...
Would you like to come in?

Oh, yeah.
Come on in.

Sorry, I was just so excited
About the ducks that...

Do you want something
To drink?

You have good timing, 'cause we
Shopped yesterday,

And in addition to a case of
Maybelline fresh lash mascara,

I also bought some of that
New freaky coke

With the lemon in it.

It's very addictive.

You can sit, you know.
No, thanks.

So, jess, what's new?
Not much.

Jess and luke are looking
For an apartment.

You guys see anything
Good yet?
Nope.

You know, there's some really
Cool places over on peach.

Or on plum.

[ chuckles ]
Orange.

Basically, any of your
Fruit-named streets

Are pretty nice.

Okay, well, I guess you should
Get started.

There's a ladder
Right out front

And some buckets and gloves and
Stuff on the porch.

If you need anything else,
Just walk against the wind.

Come on.
I'll show you.

[ singsong voice ]
I'm trying.

[ singsong voice ]
Well, keep it up.

Question. You come over,
Yes?

You seem to have a firm grasp
Of the english language.

You put together several
Full sentences

Even using a couple of words

That contain two or more
Syllables,

Then my mother appears,
And suddenly,

We need a thought bubble
To understand

What you're thinking.
Why is that?

The verbal thing comes
And goes.

I'd appreciate it if you'd try
To get along with my mom.

I took the coke.
I know.

I think it's a little crazy
To put lemon in coke.

Stop it.
Ooh -- stern face.

Look, I went out on
A limb for you

Trying to get my mom to give you
The benefit of the doubt.

It wouldn't hurt you
To be nice.

Why?
Why?

Yeah, why?

Because she's my mom and she's
A friend of luke's.

So?
What do you mean "So?"

So just because she's your mom

Doesn't mean I have to get along
With her.

My mother is a great person.
She's also my best friend.

So if you care about me
At all,

You will be mildly polite
To her.

What makes you think I care
About you?

I don't mean care care,
Like care.

I mean if you like me at all --
Not like like.

I just meant that if you think
Of me remotely

As the sort of person

That you could occasionally
Stand to talk to,

Then you will try to get along
With my mom, that's all.

Okay.
Okay?

I can't guarantee that it'll
Work, but I'll try.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

I should probably get
To work.

Right. Sorry.
Go ahead.

"Inherit the wind" --
75 cents.
Great.

Here's a copy of "Letters
To a young poet,"

Which I already have, but in
Hardback. This is a paperback.

It fits perfectly in a coat
Pocket, and it's only a dollar.

Get it.
You look bored.

I'm fine.

You sure you don't want to
Look around?

I looked.
For five minutes.

No, I looked for 20 minutes,
And then I stopped,

And you continued for
Another two hours.

It has not been that long.

Oh, sorry.
No big deal.

Let's go.
Are you done?

Yep. I looked enough.

You're not done.

No, I'm fine, really.
Let's go.

Rory, stop it.
You want to keep looking.

No, I want
To hang out with you.

I'll just pay for these,
And then we can go.

I thought we could go see
"The lord of the rings" again.
Oh, okay.

What? I thought you loved
"The lord of the rings."

You said you wanted
To see it a 100 times.

Yes, and apparently,
We're being very literal.

Fine,
We'll see something else.

"Lord of the rings" is fine.
Can you help me with this?

I'll give you 50 cents.

It's 65.
55 cents.

Kirk, it's for charity.
There's no haggling.

No, there's always haggling.
60 cents.

No.
That's my final offer.

I'm sorry, I can't.
Fine.

Kirk, come on,
Cough up another nickel.

Forget it.
It's the principle of the thing.

Wow,
You made out like a bandit.

They've got great stuff
This year.

Did you see the astronomy
Section over there?

Oh, yeah.

Didn't find anything?
Nope.

I didn't see
You look there.

Well, I did.
Go look.

I told you, I'm done.

Hey, where's your bracelet?
What?

You're not wearing your
Bracelet.

Oh.
Where is it?

I-I took it off.
Why?

Well, because I got this weird
Rash on my wrist.

From the bracelet?

No, just a fluke thing.

Actually, I think my spanish
Midterm gave it to me.

It's getting better.
It's almost gone.
Well, good.

As soon as it's completely gone,
The bracelet goes right back on.

So, uh...Compromise.
What?

You go look at the astronomy
Section

We'll go see
"Lord of the rings,"

Then we'll rent "Autumn
In new york," and mock it.

With full-on impressions?
Deal.

Go.
I'll wait here.

Smiling.
Not at all bored.

62 cents.
Get out of here, kirk.

Damn.

[ pounding ]

Jess?

Hey, jess!

Sorry.
Too loud?

Oh, no, it's fine.

It's just...I got a ton of
Leftover chinese food

And I thought you might like
Some lunch.

No, thanks.
Okay.

Chinese sounds great.

Really?

If you're sure you have
Enough.

Rory and I took on
The entire chicken column.

Ambitious.

Well, it's all out on the table,

So come in when you're ready.

I'm ready now.
Okay.

Then I'll see you inside.

So, um, basically, everything
Here is chicken.

You've got garlic chicken,
Kung pao chicken,

Szechuan chicken,
Chicken in brown sauce,

Which looks remarkably like
The szechuan chicken

Except it's got these peppers,
And if you eat them, you die.

Plate?

I thought I'd...

Soap's on the counter.

When was the last time you had
Those gutters cleaned?

It's been a while.

Yeah, I found an "I like ike"
Bumper sticker up there.

Is it really bad?
It won't be by tomorrow.

I like hearing that.

You guys aren't too hot on
Vegetables, huh?

There's green pepper
In the kung pao.

My mistake.

Are you a healthy eater
Like luke?

No! No one's a healthy eater
Like luke.

Euell gibbons wasn't a healthy
Eater like luke.

It's been ages since I heard a
Good euell gibbons reference.

Many parts of the pine tree
Are edible.

That's right. Wonder what
The research process was like

To get that information.

I'd say fairly painful.

Here.

So, how's school?
It's still there.

[ beeping ]

You on any teams
Or anything?

No, no.
Not a jersey guy?

Definitely not
A jersey guy...

Though the thought of throwing
A ball at some jock's head

Isn't entirely unappealing.

Look, I'm not really good
At this small-talk thing.

You're doin' okay.

Cold egg roll?

Why not?

Bad?

Oh, yeah.

[ door slams ]
Mom!

Right here -- what?

Mom!

What's going on?
I don't know where it is!

Where what is?
My bracelet --
It's gone!

How could I lose
That bracelet?!

Tell me which bracelet.
Maybe I stole it from you.

Dean's bracelet!
The one he made you?

It's gone? Where?
I don't know.

If I knew where,
I would have it!

When did you first notice
It was gone?

When he pointed out
I wasn't wearing it.

What did you say?
That I had a rash to heal.

Nice save, gretzky.

It's not here!
God.

Okay, let's retrace
Your steps.

When was the last time you
Remember wearing it?

Yesterday?
I don't know.

The day before?
I don't know.

The day before that?
Yeah.

Really?
No. I can't remember.

Help me move the couch.

What about your
Locker at school?

I never take it off at school.
I never take it off at all.

Anything?
Just grandma's pen.

Leave it there.
It makes life fun.

I'm gonna freak out now.
We'll find it.

I'll have to tell dean
That I lost his bracelet.

Let's not go there.
He made it for me.
He's gonna be mad.

He'll understand.
How do you know?

All signs point to
"He'll understand."

Did you look in your room?
No!

I'll check the car,
And don't worry --

If we can't find it, we'll
Follow dean to work,

Hide behind the cantaloupes,
Jump him, blind him,

And he'll never find out.

As long as we have a plan.

Who is randy meenge?

Let me see.
Maintenance.

Are you going to be
Down there long?

I just want to make sure
Rory's bracelet

Didn't get kicked
Behind something.

And so earlier when you asked me
To look for the bracelet,

I told you I looked,
I didn't find it, you --

Just decided to
Double-check.

Yes, though another theory
Is that you did not believe me.

I did, too!

I believe you thought
I was lying,

That I did not actually get down
On my hands and knees

In a brand-new
Donna karan suit

And crawl around on a floor

Where people who have stepped in
Mud and garbage and animal waste

Have been traipsing
All day long.

It's not there.

No?
Why, I'm shocked.

I'm sorry I doubted you,
Michel.

That means a lot.
Thank you.

We've turned the house upside
Down -- it's just awful.

Yes, but as soon as my
Dry-cleaning bill is paid,

You will have my sympathies.

[ telephone rings ]

Independence inn,
Michel speaking.

Hold on, please.

It's for you.
Lorelai here.

I don't want a wood-burning
Fireplace,
Luke?

But if I take an apartment
With a fireplace,

Even though I could give
A rat's ass about a fireplace,

I have to pay an extra
$200 a month!

Three of the places make you
Put down a $500 deposit

If you have a dog!

You don't have a dog.

But it's wrong!
Agreed. What else?

Parking! How can people ask for
A monthly fee for parking?!

They're making money off your
Rent, your utilities,

When you use their coin-operated
Washer and dryer!

That's cash directly
In their pocket,

And it's not even
That good a parking space.

It's out in the open
Under one of those trees

That drops sap on your car
That eats away your paint!

Who's gonna pay for my car?

Where's my $500 paint-killing,
Tree-sap deposit?!

You haven't found
A place?

I've been lookin' all day!

There wasn't one place
You liked?
No.

Not one place that gave you a
Little feeling of

"That has a nice
Vibe about it."

I don't use the word "Vibe."

Luke.

M-maybe one place wasn't
So bad.

Oh, good!
Describe it to me.

It had walls with a kind of
A floor with a light.

Hold on here, mister --
If you tell me it's got a roof,

I'm stealing that baby!

I need a second opinion.

You want me to come look
At your apartment?

It's not my apartment,
And yes.

Done.

Now.
What?

Please.

I promised
I'd give an answer today.

Okay, give me
The address.

62 1/2 "B" street,
And that's another thing --

What's with
This "1/2" business?

Why do all these apartments
Have this "1/2" thing going?

It's stupid! If 62 is taken,
Move on to 63.

Luke, I'll meet you there
In 20 1/2 minutes.

Thank you.
Bye.

Michel, I have to go out.
Cover the desk for me.
Mm-hmm.

What?

Well, I'll say
I'll cover the desk,

But how will you know
If I'm actually doing it?

I trust you.

It's just as possible

I say I'll cover the desk,

And the moment
You stepped away,

I'll put fruit on my head,
Join a conga line.

I believe you looked
For the bracelet.

And while I am shaking it
To the miami sound machine,

The phones here,
They would ring and ring,

No one to answer,
No one to assist.

Okay. Bye, mom.

It's a very quiet street,

And the owner keeps
The building up beautifully.

He hasn't remodeled it
At all.

Plus, I bet he could be
Persuaded

To give the floor a little
Spruce if you like.

We'd like a spruce.
Spruce is unnecessary.

Never turn down
A spruce.

Listen to her.
Listen to me.

You rarely give me
A choice.

I went over the square footage
And the details of the lease

With your husband this morning.
Did he fill you in?

What? Oh, no --

No, he didn't,
But you know how men are.

The minute that ballgame
Comes on,

All realities of life
Go out the window.

Don't I know it?

I could answer the door wrapped
In cellophane,

But unless I was wearing a
Yankees cap,

He wouldn't even notice.

Jeez!

Don't be embarrassed, snuffy.
I'm just teasing.

It'd be a mets cap.

Hey, mary, could you possibly
Leave me and little missis alone

For just a minute?
Why, of course.

I promise we won't do
Anything dirty.

If my husband and I looked
Anything like the two of you,

We'd never get dressed!
You are bad!

Let me just leave this rental
Agreement with you

In case you decide to
Fill it out.

Thanks.

I hope you take it.

It's got a great vibe for a nice
Couple like you two.

[ giggles ]

Oh, 13 different shades of red!
You make it too easy.

By standing here?
Relax, snuffy.

What do you think?
She used the word "Vibe."

About the apartment?
I don't know.

Break it down.
List your concerns.

It's too big.
It's not. Next?

I don't need two bathrooms.
Yes, you do. Next

I like being
On the bottom floor.
The top floor's quieter. Next.

I think this would be easier if
You listed your concerns first.
Okay.

Um, I don't have any.

I think it's great.
You do?

Yeah, it's light and airy,
Got good windows,

But not too many so the sun
Bakes you in the afternoon.

Thank you.

You're close to work,
The price seems good,

You're taking the spruce,
It's a 2-year lease.

Luke, you need to do this.

You and jess
Will kill each other

If you stay in that place
Of yours.

But who knows how long he's
Gonna be here?

Why? Did something happen?
No, but you never know.

No, but I think his mom sending
His stuff is a pretty good sign.

Even if he does stay,
It'll only be for another year,

And then he'll go off
To college or attica,

And it'll just be me again.

I'll be stuck with
A new apartment,

Probably with
Neighbors I hate

Who are constantly cooking
Strong-smelling food.

Back up -- yes, jess may go off
Somewhere someday,

But that doesn't mean you
Will be alone forever.

I am not getting a pet.

I'm talking about
A lady friend --

A red-hot mama.
Okay.

Big, pretty dish of lovin' with
A spoon made especially for you.

Boy, do I not
Feel good now.

Luke, rachel's not the only
Woman in the world for you.

You'll meet someone someday...
Probably at a timberland store.

You'll ask her out,
You'll pick her up,

Take her on a patented
"Luke danes' night of romance,"

Juice bar followed by the
Batting cages,

Then, you'll ask her back
To your apartment --

Any amount of money if you
Stop right now.

You'll bring her back
To your place,

Lead her upstairs
To the apartment door.

You pause, gaze into her eyes.

The stage is set.
Fate is waiting.

You open the door, and she sees
Your teeny, tiny apartment --

One room and no closet space,

And jess's feet
Sticking up in the air

'cause you never did
Get rid of that body --

Stop, please.

...And to make matters worse,
She spots it --

The single bed!

What's wrong
With a single bed?

You know what they say --
No.

Never, ever date a guy
Who owns a single bed.

It says, "There's no room in
This life for anybody but me!"

It says, "There's no room in
This bed for anyone but me!"

This discussion
Is now over.

Luke, as long
As you're in that apartment,

You're going to have
A single bed.

Don't you want
The possibility of more?

Come on, luke, it's time.

Make a move, take a shot,

Entertain the possibility of a
Non-unabomber existence.

What do you say?

You got a pen?
Of course.

I'm not takin' the spruce.
Yes, you are.

Hey.
Hey.

Did you get lost?

No, I was looking
At rory's books.

I wanted to see if she had
"Franny and zooey." she does.

I'd get it for her
If she didn't.

That's very nice of you.
Yeah.

Okay, so, I should probably get
Back to work.

Mm-hmm.

Luke! Good, good,
Goody-good, good!

I was on my way to the
Diner to see you.

Go on over.
I'll meet you there.

This isn't
Gonna make you mad.

I just have a couple questions
About your application.

I called your bank --
What application?

Your application
For the apartment.

How did you get
My application?

Well, mary gave it to me.
Now, I'm assuming --

Why would mary give you
My application?

Because
I own the building.

When the hell did you buy
An apartment building?

About two months ago.

I look at a thousand apartments,
I choose yours.

Count yourself lucky.

With me as the owner, there is a
Level of quality control

That is sorely lacking
In this town.

For example,
At all my properties,

We measure the grass before,
During, and after mowing

To attain
A perfect 1 1/2 height

Which is both pleasing to the
Eye and good for the grass.

All of your properties?

10 in all.
10 properties?

Are you buying up
The town?

Not yet, but someday,
Who knows?

Why isn't anyone
Stopping you?

Because people are lazy --

They don't want to think about
The proper fabric for an awning

Or the correct historical color
For a building.

They just slap any old thing
Up on a wall.

But soon, hopefully, the city
Council will put an end to that.

You cannot tell people what
Color to paint their buildings.

Someone has to.
No, they don't.

We don't live in
A fascist country.

This isn't about the fascists,
Who, by the way,

Had their faults, but their
Parks were spotless.

I have to get out of here.

Hey, wait a minute.
W--

Luke, hold it!
I still need to talk to you.

Just tear up the application,
Taylor. I'm not movin'.

What? Why?

'cause I'm a 2-inch grass
Kind of guy.

I need to talk to you about
Something else.

I'm thinking of purchasing the
Flower shop next to the diner,

But we need to talk about
That sign of yours.

What about my sign?

You never took down
The "Williams hardware" sign.

That was my father's sign.

I understand that you have a
Sentimental attachment

But it confuses the tourists.

Back off the sign.

If I buy the building next
To that sign,

I run the risk of people
Being so busy

Trying to figure out if you sell
Hammers or burgers

That they never notice the nice
Collectible-plate store.

Collectible plates?!
Isn't that a great idea?

Elvis, the beatles,
Mary poppins -- all the greats!

You can hang 'em on the wall,
Or you buy a little stand --

You need to get away
From me --

At least a good arm-swinging
Length away.

It's people like you
Who keep this town

From becoming one of the great
Towns in america!

Arm-swinging length!

I wouldn't have approved your
Application anyway!

[ sniffs ]

You look good.

I'm fine.

Talk.

[ sighs ]
I lost my bracelet.

Uh-huh.

Dean gave it to me.
How thoughtful.

I've been all over town
Looking for it.

I've been to lane's,
I've been to luke's,

I've been to the bus stop,
I've been to miss patty's,

And I've circled stars hollow
Twice, and nothing.

It's that big a deal?
What do you mean?

It's got an "I've been
Pinned, 'bye bye birdie'"

Kind of implication to it,
But it was just a bracelet.

I don't think he'll see it
That way.

You didn't lose it
On purpose.

I know, but things have been a
Little weird between us lately,

And you couldn't care less.

Oh, yes, I could.

I just think dean
Will read something into this.

Should he?

No.

I think you should keep
Lookin'.

Where?
Anywhere.

Things you lose are usually
Right in front of your face.

Check the house again.
I've checked the house.

It's probably just layin' in
Your room somewhere.

I tore that room apart.
It's not there.

Fine. No biggie. Dean will just
Have to get over it.

I'll go look again.

You do that.

Hey, where have you been?

Scouring the town.

Nothin', huh?
Not yet.

I'm gonna check
My room again.

Haven't you already looked in
There, like, a thousand times?

A thousand and one.

Mom, come here, hurry!

Rory?
Are you okay?

I found it!
What?!

I looked under the bed,
And there it was!

I thought I had already looked
Under the bed,

But I don't know --
Maybe I was too panicked!

Oh, that is amazing!

Put it on.
Make it tight.

Oh, I'm cuttin' off
Circulation here, baby.

Look at it -- it looks even
Better than before!

Time away from home
Did it good.

When I get back,
We celebrate.

Where are you going?
To tell lane she can
Stop praying.

Leaving?
Yeah, all done.

You weren't gonna
Come get your money?

I figured I'd get it
Eventually.

It's not like I don't know
Where you guys live.

You certainly do
Know where we live.

Well, here.

After all, you earned it.
Thanks.

You took it, didn't you?
Excuse me?

Rory's bracelet --
You had to the whole time.

No idea what
You're talkin' about.

How'd you get it?
I didn't get anything.

You got dressed in black and
Pulled a "Mission impossible"?

I came down the chimney,
Pulled a "Santa claus."
Very funny.

A ridiculous accusation deserved
A ridiculous response.

It's just a coincidence I catch
You coming out of rory's room

A half an hour before she finds
The bracelet under her bed?

Guess so.
I gotta go.

I know you hate the world,
But I thought you liked rory.

I didn't do anything.
Bull!

Whatever.
Don't "Whatever" me.

You let rory run around
Completely panicked,

Thinking she lost her
Boyfriend's bracelet.

I didn't take it.

I'm sure you're jealous of dean
Because he's great,

And rory's madly in love
With him,

But you taking the bracelet
Didn't hurt dean, it hurt rory.

That bracelet's the most
Precious thing she owns.

She never takes it off.

You stealing it
Was unbelievably cruel.

The most precious thing?
Yes!

If it's the most precious thing
She owns,

Why'd it take her two weeks
To figure out it was gone?

You might want to re-evaluate
How madly in love she is.

I wouldn't start calling him
"Son" yet.

Get out of here.
You read my mind.

[ knocking on door ]

I just spent $100,000,
And it's all your fault!

Oh, good.

I ran into taylor
At the market.

I found out he owns the building
That apartment was in --

That and several others
All over town!

He's systematically buying up
The town.

He's gonna turn it into
Taylorville,

Where everyone will wear
Cardigans

And have
The same grass height!

Then he told me he's gonna buy
The building next to the diner,

Turn it into
A plate shop for freaks

Who don't have enough
Brainpower to collect stamps!

I lost it!
I walked around in a blind rage.

I was crazy.

I bought one of those
Belgium waffles

With the ice cream
Dipped in chocolate.

You ate that?
No, I didn't eat it!

I'm upset, not suicidal!

I had your voice going round
And round in my head.

It's kind of like
The "Small world" song.

"Take a chance, luke!
Make a move!

Can't have a single bed!"
So I bought the building!

You what?

I went to the bank, got a
Cashier's check,

Signed the papers,
And I bought the building!

I am the building's owner!
I own the building!

Okay, well, don't worry,
You can still get out of it.

You can tell them
You lost your mind.

Or I bet you could sell it
To taylor.

Yeah.
Relax.

You can still get out of this...
Unless you don't want to.

No, I want to get
Out of this.

Why would I not want to
Get out of this?

Uh, owning that building
Gives you some options.

Like?

Like...You could expand luke's
If you wanted to.

Yeah.

Or you could rent it
To someone else...

Yeah.

Someone else who might drive
Taylor crazy.

Maybe I should think
About this.

Sure, sleep on it.
Right.

Do you want some tea?
Tea's good.
Sure. Yeah.

[ chuckles ]

Hey, luke, um...

Does jess ever talk to you
About rory?

What do you mean?

They seem to be thrown together
Quite a lot lately.

I was trying to figure out
If that's a coincidence --

Or is something
Going on?

Yeah.
I don't know.

Jess doesn't exactly
Confide in me.
Right.

If there was something going on,
I think it'd be really great.

You do?
Yeah! Rory's a great kid.

She'd be really good for jess.
Oh, yeah, she would.

You really think something
Might be going on?
I don't know.

Boy, that would be great.

Yeah...Great.

[ rock music blaring ]

That's your room.

Finish up.

We'll hold hands
And skip afterwards.

[ door slams ]