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LAST WEEK TONIGHT
WITH JOHN OLIVER
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Welcome to "Last Week Tonight" !
I'm John Oliver.
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Thank you so much for joining us.
It has been a busy week.
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The Manhattan DA
signaled that Trump
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may soon be charged
over the Stormy Daniels payments,
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and Silicon Valley Bank collapsed
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in one of the largest bank failures
in U.S. history.
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But if I may quote God on judgment day,
I'd like to start with Fox News,
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the network that answers the question
"What was on TV when Grandpa died ?"
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We talked about the fact
that Dominion Voting Systems
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is suing Fox over its false claims
that Dominion's machines
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helped swing the election for Biden.
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Thanks to that lawsuit, this week,
we learned that even Rupert Murdoch
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was concerned about the tone
some of his anchors were taking.
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{\an8}In an email to CEO Suzanne Scott,
Murdoch wrote,
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{\an8} "Maybe Sean Hannity
and Laura Ingraham went too far."
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{\an8}When Dominion lawyers
asked during his January deposition,
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{\an8} "Have you ever believed Dominion
was engaged in a massive
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{\an8}and coordinated effort to steal
the 2020 presidential election ?"
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{\an8}Murdoch replied, "No".
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Just a straight up "no"
from Murdoch there.
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Although he's Australian,
so it was probably more of a "nah."
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I will say, of course Sean Hannity
and Laura Ingraham went too far.
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That is their whole thing.
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Laura delivers every monologue with
the energy of a concussed PTA parent
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and Hannity spews bullshit
while looking like one big neck.
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You made these monsters, Rupert.
You don't get to act surprised.
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And it's not just Murdoch.
Texts from Tucker Carlson show that,
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for all of his on-air
defenses of Trump,
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privately, he was telling
a very different story.
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{\an8}Fox hosts, including Tucker Carlson,
were increasingly uncomfortable
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{\an8}with the way that Trump
was lying about the 2020 election.
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{\an8} "We are very, very close to being able
to ignore Trump most nights.
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{\an8}I truly can't wait,"
Carlson texted an unknown person
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{\an8}on January 4th, 2021,
adding, "I hate him passionately."
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First, I can't believe
I'm gonna say this, but girl, same.
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But also, that is so harsh,
I'd almost feel bad for Trump
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if I wasn't so sure
he's incapable of feeling anything
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besides anger, hunger and the lower
back of the nearest blonde woman.
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And it gets even worse.
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Because Tucker goes on to say
of Trump's time in office,
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"We're all pretending
we've got a lot to show for it,
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because admitting what a disaster
it's been is too tough to digest.
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But come on.
There isn't really an upside to Trump."
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And wow. A man on a news network
cannot be afraid to tell the truth
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because it's too tough to digest,
that is what the news is.
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If anchors didn't report
what was too tough to digest,
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Walter Cronkite would have opened
his most famous broadcast
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with "The president
had a lovely car ride in Dallas today.
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His head feels better than ever !"
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And I'm sure more details will spill
out of this case in the months ahead.
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So for now, we're going to turn
to Tennessee, where this week,
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the state legislature
made the worst kind of history.
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{\an8}This week, Tennessee
became the first state to pass a law
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{\an8}that will restrict drag performances
on public property
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{\an8}or anywhere a child
could see them.
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{\an8}Conservatives say drag shows expose
children to sexually suggestive content,
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{\an8}while performers here
say the law is discriminatory,
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{\an8}and feels designed
to push them back into the closet.
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Yeah. Conservatives
have singled out drag shows
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as exposing children
to sexually suggestive content.
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Which feels like a very selective
application of outrage.
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I'm just saying, unless they've
also called out Carl's Jr. ads,
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this entire restaurant chain,
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and Gloria's relentless butt
in the "Madagascar" films,
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that feels pretty targeted.
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This comes on the back of a number
of anti-LGBTQ bills,
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all done under Senate leader
and lieutenant governor Randy McNally,
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a man with a history of supporting
anti-gay legislation,
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including restricting marriage
to between a man and a woman.
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All of which makes what emerged
about McNally this week
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especially hard to take.
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{\an8}Over the last three years,
the lieutenant governor
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{\an8}has been regularly commenting on these
racy pictures of an influencer.
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{\an8}Everything
from typing out fire emojis
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{\an8}where the male user
had posted his backside
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{\an8}to commenting that he has,
quote, "a super look"
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{\an8}and that he loves his content.
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There is nothing wrong
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with commenting on a 20-year-old
gay model's thirst traps.
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But there is a problem
if you are, A, 79 years old,
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B, are a sitting member of government
that helped pass anti-gay legislation,
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and C, leave comments like, "You are
having a grand time, my friend".
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Because yes,
he clearly is having a grand time,
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but that's frankly no thanks
to people like you, Randy !
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McNally's office rushed out
a statement, saying,
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"As anyone in Tennessee
politics knows,
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Lieutenant Governor McNally
is a prolific social media commenter.
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Does he always use the proper emoji
at the proper time ?
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Maybe not. But he enjoys
interacting with constituents
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and Tennesseans of all religions,
backgrounds,
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orientations on social media" adding
"he has no intention of stopping."
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Which, if it came from anyone else,
would be an iconic response.
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"I am horny on main, and will stay
that way 'til the day I die."
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It's exquisite.
But the best response to that statement
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came from Franklyn, the young man
at the center of all of this.
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Because the outlet
that initially broke the story
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interviewed him
to get his reaction to it.
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I like that he has no intentions
of stopping, I think that's nice,
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but you know, I would just say,
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why be kind to one gay person
and not everyone ?
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The idea that Randy
is now gonna hide behind,
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"I'm a great-grandfather,
I don't know about emojis,"
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I mean, you know
when you're looking at a butt,
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Governor McNally.
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And you knew whose butt it was.
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But maybe he liked
the lime green color !
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Yeah, maybe, Franklyn !
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I've gotta say, McNally
is so lucky he was commenting
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on the photos of someone so kind.
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Franklyn even responded to McNally's
three hearts and fire emojis
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with, "You are literally
always so nice, king,"
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when he'd have been
well within his rights to say,
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"You are 59 years older than me and you
are systematically trampling my rights.
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Blocked, reported, and
I'm throwing my phone into the sea."
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Incredibly, McNally actually sat down
for an interview amid all this,
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saying, "I, you know,
try to encourage people with posts."
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Which is certainly
a nice thing to do.
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But doesn't seem to capture
all that was going on here,
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especially when you consider
some of the posts in question.
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{\an8}There was also this post
where the man said he was, quote,
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{\an8} "Not a whore but a hoe !
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{\an8}One is a slut,
the other is a prostitute,"
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{\an8}adding, "I'm the one
that gets free weed for giving",
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{\an8}then a reference to a sexual act.
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{\an8}And it was liked
by Lieutenant Governor McNally.
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{\an8}I don't know that,
a lot of times on people's posts
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{\an8}you see the name
and you see what they've written,
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{\an8}and you just press the button
that says "like."
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{\an8}So, you didn't read that post ?
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{\an8}I don't recall reading the part
about the weed.
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{\an8}I know that.
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{\an8}But what about the "prostitute ?"
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{\an8}I might have read that.
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Randy !
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Did a witch put a spell
on you, Randy ?
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I appreciate the transparency, but you
know you could just say no, right ?
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Nobody would believe you any more
or less than they already do.
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Also, for what it's worth...
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The "weed" part of this story is just
not what anybody is interested in here.
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I can't say for certain
what is going on with that guy,
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but I will say,
whenever stories like this come up...
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And they do seem to come up a lot...
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Of Republican lawmakers
championing anti-gay legislation,
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only for it to emerge they may have,
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let's call them "gay-adjacent
extracurricular activities",
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it is hard
not to feel a mixture of emotions.
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First, hilarity at the hypocrisy.
Then, anger.
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Then, a slight sense of sadness.
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Because these are men
who, you feel,
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could have had happier lives if they'd
grown up in a different world.
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But instead of helping
create that different world,
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they've courted the approval
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of homophobes
who are intent on holding it back.
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And if that is the case for McNally,
it all feels like such a waste,
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including the fact
that "Randy McNally"
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just happens to be
an A-plus drag queen name.
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But honestly, in the end, it doesn't
really matter what McNally's deal is,
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if he's pushing
for laws that hurt people.
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Or to put it another way, Randy,
if you'd invest half the energy
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you spend commenting on photos
of queer people being happy
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into making a world where that
happiness is not under constant threat,
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that would literally be so nice, king.
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And now, this !
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And Now:
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Happy International Women's
Day, From the Men of Local News.
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Happy International
Women's Day to you,
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and to meteorologist Stefanie Lauber,
who is with us.
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My favorite girls.
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{\an8}It is International Women's Day.
I'm Kait Walsh.
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{\an8}And I'm Patrick Little.
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Let's check in with the other woman
on the staff.
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{\an8}Every day is International Women's Day,
as far as I'm concerned.
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{\an8}You've been saying that.
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Shoutout to all the wonderful ladies
in my life.
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Okay. That's my wife, two stepgirls.
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The two female dogs,
as well, because my mother.
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Not only
is it International Women's Day...
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- You haven't even said anything yet !
- What ?
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- For Women's Day.
- Am I supposed to ?
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- So rude.
- Is there an International Man's Day ?
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Happy Women's Day !
National Women's Day, my friend.
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Yeah. You too.
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- We're women, technical director.
- My favorite women. I am sorry.
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But it's like... My girls,
you know, you guys are my friends...
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- My peeps, my, you know...
- All right. Well.
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Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns TANF.
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It is a commonly used acronym
that in Britain stands for
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"That Asshole Nigel Farage".
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But here, it stands for Temporary
Assistance for Needy Families,
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a federal program designed to help
families with little to no income.
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TANF is an absolutely vital resource,
and also the program underneath
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Mississippi's
spectacular ongoing scandals
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involving former quarterback
Brett Favre.
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{\an8}NFL Hall of Famer Brett Favre
is under growing pressure tonight,
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{\an8}as a new court filing says the
former football star waged
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{\an8} "a campaign to aggressively lobby"
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{\an8}for millions of dollars
from the state welfare agency
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{\an8}to finish building a volleyball facility
at his alma mater,
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00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:40,156
{\an8}the University of Southern Mississippi,
where his daughter played the sport.
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Brett Favre was involved in getting
$5 million dollars in TANF funds
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funneled into building
this volleyball stadium.
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And I'm a little surprised you even
need a stadium to play volleyball in.
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I thought it was a sport
mainly played outdoors
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by sexually frustrated men
who aren't wearing shirts
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and sporty dogs
who unexpectedly are.
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But clearly,
I was wrong about that.
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00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,236
But Favre's role in this scandal
went far beyond volleyball.
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He's also alleged to have helped get
around two million of TANF dollars
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routed to a pharmaceutical company
that he invested in,
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and personally received
over a million more
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for the promise he'd make
public appearances or record PSAs.
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And in his text messages
to a central figure in the scheme,
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00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:18,916
a woman named Nancy New,
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00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,399
Favre seemed eager to keep
the details of his deal private.
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00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,715
{\an8}Texts show Favre was worried
about how it might look.
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00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:28,876
{\an8}He wrote, "If you were to pay me,
is there any way the media
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00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,260
{\an8}can find out where it came from
and how much ?"
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00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,555
{\an8}New replied "No" but added
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{\an8} "I understand
you being uneasy about that."
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00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,396
Yeah, me too ! But Brett,
I have some terrible news for you.
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The media did find out.
That's what's happening now.
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But the Favre part of the story
is just the tip of the iceberg here.
224
00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:49,516
Because amazingly,
from 2016 to 2019,
225
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:53,396
at least $77 million
in federal welfare money
226
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,756
was stolen or misspent
in Mississippi.
227
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,955
Six people have been
criminally charged so far,
228
00:11:58,039 --> 00:11:59,156
with most pleading guilty,
229
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,315
including the former director
of the state's welfare agency.
230
00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:05,075
This scandal
is full of both bizarre details,
231
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,595
and a weird number
of former athletes,
232
00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:12,036
including retired WWE wrestler Ted
"The Million Dollar Man" DiBiase,
233
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,960
seen here in his heyday,
looking very cool.
234
00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:18,876
DiBiase and his ministry
apparently received nearly $2 million
235
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,036
to, among other things
"create a phone app
236
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,876
to reach troubled teens
and send them Bible verses,"
237
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,960
something that apparently
never happened.
238
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,276
Which is probably just as well,
given that it's hard to imagine
239
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,756
this man helping any teen
who is in trouble,
240
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,236
unless the thing
they're having trouble with
241
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,636
is figuring out
what it would look like
242
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,080
if Steven Seagal
somehow aged even worse.
243
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,876
And look, legally, I have to tell
you that both Favre and DiBiase
244
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,276
maintain they did nothing wrong,
and have not been criminally charged.
245
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,715
And Favre wants us to tell you
246
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:48,516
that he returned the $1.1 million
that he was personally paid,
247
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,236
and says that he didn't know the money
was coming from welfare funds.
248
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:56,475
Although it's not clear where exactly
he did think the money was coming from.
249
00:12:56,559 --> 00:12:58,475
Perhaps he thinks
there's some pot of taxpayer money
250
00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:02,075
that he can just dip his sausage fingers
into whenever he needs something.
251
00:13:02,159 --> 00:13:05,440
He's been hit in the head a lot.
Not enough, but a lot.
252
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,036
But what is not in dispute here
is that, for years,
253
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,770
there were people in Mississippi
in dire need of help,
254
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,276
who just couldn't get it.
255
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,795
{\an8}Tamara Edwards raised four children
on her own in Mississippi,
256
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,955
{\an8}applying for welfare benefits just once,
for childcare while she worked.
257
00:13:21,039 --> 00:13:26,356
{\an8}When I reapplied,
I was not able to be on it again
258
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,720
{\an8}'cause they told me that they
didn't have the fundings for it.
259
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,555
That is pretty infuriating to hear.
260
00:13:32,639 --> 00:13:35,396
And it gets even worse when you
learn that, in Mississippi last year,
261
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,276
of roughly 190,000 children
living in poverty,
262
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,916
just 2,600 were receiving
money from TANF,
263
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,356
while, remember, of the roughly
one Brett Favres in Mississippi,
264
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:49,879
100 percent managed to get $5 million
for this fucking volleyball stadium.
265
00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:53,195
It's enough to make you want
to see Brett Favre hit in the nuts,
266
00:13:53,279 --> 00:13:56,000
and the good news is,
I can actually help you there.
267
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,000
{\an8}He was on the practice field
this week
268
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,080
{\an8}and got hit
in the not-so-friendly area.
269
00:14:03,879 --> 00:14:05,360
Takes him all the way down.
270
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,636
Good. I'm glad that happened.
And, by the way,
271
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:12,435
kudos to the local news team for adding
the "boing" sound effect there.
272
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,759
Excellent journalism !
273
00:14:14,399 --> 00:14:17,315
But it is important to know that
while what happened in Mississippi
274
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:20,555
rose to criminal charges,
in states all over the country,
275
00:14:20,639 --> 00:14:23,236
the TANF program
has been abused for decades,
276
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,960
and completely legally.
277
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,475
In fact, nationwide,
for every 100 families in poverty,
278
00:14:28,559 --> 00:14:31,715
"only 21 received TANF
cash assistance."
279
00:14:31,799 --> 00:14:34,075
Meaning we have a program
that is supposed to give money
280
00:14:34,159 --> 00:14:38,795
to families in desperate need, and four
out of five of them aren't getting it.
281
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:42,916
So tonight, let's talk about TANF.
Let's start with why it is so important.
282
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,675
TANF is the only federal
anti-poverty program
283
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:47,996
that provides monthly cash
assistance.
284
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,075
That makes it very different
from, say SNAP,
285
00:14:50,159 --> 00:14:51,996
formerly known as food stamps,
286
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,876
because that can only be used to pay
for food, whereas TANF funds,
287
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,555
by contrast, can be used
for all sorts of other necessities,
288
00:14:57,639 --> 00:15:00,396
from diapers,
to toothpaste, to utility bills.
289
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,036
So it can be an
absolute lifeline for families.
290
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:07,240
And the truth is, we've long known
how important cash assistance can be.
291
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,475
In 1935, FDR pushed for the
Aid to Dependent Children program.
292
00:15:11,559 --> 00:15:14,360
And back then,
the idea had broad support.
293
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,300
The welfare of the nation depends
upon the welfare of its children.
294
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,996
To provide for children
who have lost their breadwinners,
295
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:24,516
the state and federal government
provide monthly cash payments
296
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,000
so that these children may grow up
at home with their own families.
297
00:15:28,919 --> 00:15:31,636
Aid for children who,
as citizens of tomorrow,
298
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,879
need the security of home today.
299
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,715
It is genuinely refreshing
300
00:15:36,799 --> 00:15:39,636
to hear that kind of voice
saying such nice things.
301
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,396
Although, given the time, I am guessing
that if he'd just kept talking,
302
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:43,516
he would've said something like,
303
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:47,150
"Also, nothing calms a hysterical child
like a good smack with a stick."
304
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,916
That program
continued to have support for years,
305
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,595
while, perhaps not coincidentally,
it was primarily white families,
306
00:15:53,679 --> 00:15:56,356
like those you just saw,
who were the ones using it.
307
00:15:56,440 --> 00:16:00,195
As barriers preventing Black families
from participating began to fall,
308
00:16:00,279 --> 00:16:02,835
people suddenly began to panic
about whether these programs
309
00:16:02,919 --> 00:16:05,879
might actually encourage laziness
and dependency.
310
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:10,159
To use America's official slogan,
Ronald Reagan made it worse !
311
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,156
Because conservatives
in the '70s and '80s, led by Reagan,
312
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:18,075
pushed largely bullshit or cherry
picked narratives of fraud and abuse.
313
00:16:18,159 --> 00:16:20,396
It got to the point
where, by the mid-'90s,
314
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,075
one Florida representative found
this a completely acceptable way
315
00:16:24,159 --> 00:16:25,809
to talk about welfare recipients.
316
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,600
{\an8}We post these signs
for several reasons.
317
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:33,960
{\an8}Because if left in a natural state,
alligators can fend for themselves.
318
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,519
{\an8}They work, gather food,
and care for their young.
319
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,435
{\an8}Secondly, we post these warnings
320
00:16:40,519 --> 00:16:45,440
{\an8}because unnatural feeding
and artificial care creates dependency.
321
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:50,639
{\an8}When dependency sets in,
these otherwise abled alligators
322
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,396
{\an8}can no longer survive
on their own.
323
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,075
{\an8}I know people are not alligators,
but I submit to you
324
00:16:57,159 --> 00:17:01,996
{\an8}that with our current handout,
non-work welfare system,
325
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,879
{\an8}we've upset the natural order.
326
00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,799
There is a lot to unpack there !
327
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,955
From casually
comparing poor people to animals,
328
00:17:09,039 --> 00:17:11,796
to claiming that alligators "work",
which begs the question,
329
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,799
the fuck are you talking about ?
330
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:15,955
Alligators don't have jobs !
331
00:17:16,039 --> 00:17:17,316
Unless you consider a job
332
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,400
"looking like someone
put a dragon baby into a panini press",
333
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,359
in which case, yes,
they are indeed working 24/7.
334
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,796
At the time
that asshole was speaking,
335
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:29,316
the federal government had already
begun allowing and encouraging states
336
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:33,556
to experiment with various so-called
"welfare-to-work" approaches,
337
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,475
with the aim being to get as many people
off government assistance as possible,
338
00:17:36,559 --> 00:17:38,160
and into the workforce.
339
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,235
And back then,
both Democrats and Republicans
340
00:17:40,319 --> 00:17:42,876
seized on what appeared to be
a successful program
341
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,596
in Riverside County, California
342
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,156
that "emphasized getting
a job above all else"
343
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:50,759
and was said to have increased
participants' earnings by nearly 50%.
344
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,235
The man overseeing that program,
Larry Townsend,
345
00:17:53,319 --> 00:17:56,876
was celebrated at the time,
even dubbed "The Magic Bureaucrat"
346
00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:00,310
and was brought before congress
to share the secrets to his success.
347
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,580
{\an8}If you call Riverside County,
and nobody answers the phone,
348
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,240
{\an8}you'll get a work ethic message.
349
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,796
{\an8}We have posters
in the waiting room.
350
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,156
{\an8}We have produced a compact disc
with work ethic music.
351
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:16,000
{\an8}One of the pieces of music is "Welfare
Is Temporary, Not a Way of Life"
352
00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:18,159
{\an8}and it's a beautiful piece of music.
353
00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:20,076
Now that is actually true !
354
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,880
Larry oversaw the production
of this album of "work ethic music"
355
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,876
that they'd play in the office,
and to people who were put on hold.
356
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,076
Now, is he right to claim
it was "a beautiful piece of music ?"
357
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,359
Why don't you be the judge ?
Here's a taste.
358
00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:39,119
Welfare's temporary,
not a way of life.
359
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,160
Be proud of honest labor.
360
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,039
Have dignity and pride.
361
00:18:46,799 --> 00:18:52,160
Make the difference. Start a career.
362
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:56,119
Success depends on you.
363
00:18:57,079 --> 00:18:59,759
Get into gear.
364
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:01,920
You know, finally,
365
00:19:02,519 --> 00:19:04,156
we have a recording
that answers the question
366
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,440
"What if 'We Are the World'
fucked a cheap motivational poster ?"
367
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,995
And if you think
every track on the album
368
00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:12,379
was confined
to the genre of "pop soul ballad",
369
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,596
you are very wrong, they also
did a dance number that, fair warning,
370
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,119
really puts the "no" into "techno".
371
00:19:19,279 --> 00:19:24,599
Welfare is temporary,
it's not a way of life.
372
00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:31,960
Welfare, make it secondary,
have dignity and pride.
373
00:19:32,599 --> 00:19:33,880
I hate it so much !
374
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,876
That song sounds like "Daft Punk" if it
turned out the people under the masks
375
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,240
were Kevin O'Leary
and Mark Cuban.
376
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,796
It is genuinely difficult
to stop talking about this album,
377
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,435
'cause what am I supposed
to do here ?
378
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:49,240
Just move on to the rest of this story
and not play you the hiphop track ?
379
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:51,530
That would be ridiculous.
Here it is !
380
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,920
Work for it, work for it.
Turn your dreams into reality.
381
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,079
Work for it, work for it.
382
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,559
Become a money saver.
383
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,519
Work for it, work for it.
'Cause you can get a job.
384
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:09,400
Admit it. You thought you knew
how bad that was gonna be, right ?
385
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,919
Then you get to that last
"'cause you can get a job" bit,
386
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,316
and it somehow gets worse.
387
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,515
Interestingly, and importantly,
later studies found
388
00:20:17,599 --> 00:20:20,675
that that man's program didn't
succeed because of that album,
389
00:20:20,759 --> 00:20:23,035
or anything else he'd done.
390
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,619
Instead, research suggests
its success was a fluke,
391
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,916
and actually "the product of an already
stronger local economy
392
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,519
rather than any reforms."
393
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:34,275
But the problem was,
the whole concept of "welfare-to-work"
394
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,076
had caught on in a big way.
395
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,876
Bill Clinton campaigned
aggressively on welfare reform,
396
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,556
and once in office, worked
with Republicans to craft a bill
397
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,240
that, he bragged when signing it,
would move millions into the workforce.
398
00:20:45,799 --> 00:20:48,519
Today, we are ending welfare
as we know it.
399
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,435
But I hope this day will be remembered
not for what it ended
400
00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:53,759
but for what it began.
401
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:58,759
It's remembered for what it ended,
not, indeed, what it began.
402
00:20:59,279 --> 00:21:01,475
It is genuinely hard to think
of a clip from the Clinton era
403
00:21:01,559 --> 00:21:02,836
that has aged worse than that,
404
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,670
other than, of course,
this one from his inaugural ball.
405
00:21:05,839 --> 00:21:09,359
{\an8}We'll be there for you, we love you,
thank you, and God bless you all.
406
00:21:09,759 --> 00:21:11,200
{\an8}Thank you.
407
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,400
{\an8}And thank you, Kevin Spacey !
408
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,400
Yeah !
409
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:18,759
Pretty remarkable, right ?
410
00:21:19,519 --> 00:21:22,880
That they let that sexual predator
anywhere near Kevin Spacey ?
411
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:28,116
The point is, Clinton's welfare reform
created the TANF program.
412
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,836
And in doing so, it brought about
some major and catastrophic changes.
413
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,435
First, it shifted the funding
to a block grant.
414
00:21:34,519 --> 00:21:37,356
Instead of the federal government
having oversight
415
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,290
and sharing the costs of the program,
416
00:21:39,319 --> 00:21:42,596
each year, it would just give states
a lump sum of money.
417
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:47,356
It didn't establish any mechanism
to increase that sum over time,
418
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:51,559
meaning the amount that each state
gets "has not increased since 1996".
419
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:55,435
And because it hasn't been adjusted
for inflation or population changes,
420
00:21:55,519 --> 00:21:59,755
the real value of the funding
has fallen by 40% since then.
421
00:21:59,839 --> 00:22:04,235
It wasn't worth that much in the
mid-'90s, and it's worth less now.
422
00:22:04,319 --> 00:22:07,636
Think of it like a cassingle
of Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping".
423
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,356
I know if you're under 30 you think
I'm having a stroke right now,
424
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,519
but I swear everything I just said
is a real word.
425
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,235
The big promise of these block grants
was that they'd give states
426
00:22:18,319 --> 00:22:21,316
the flexibility to spend it however
they felt worked best for them.
427
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,076
The only real requirement
was that it had to be used
428
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,995
for at least one of four
incredibly broad purposes:
429
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:29,995
providing assistance to needy families
so that children can be cared for
430
00:22:30,079 --> 00:22:32,729
in their own homes
or in the homes of relatives, fine.
431
00:22:32,799 --> 00:22:36,279
Promoting job preparation,
work, and marriage, okay.
432
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,755
Preventing and reducing the incidence
of out-of-wedlock pregnancies,
433
00:22:39,839 --> 00:22:41,156
seems a bit weird.
434
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:44,235
And encouraging the formation
and maintenance of two-parent families.
435
00:22:44,319 --> 00:22:48,235
You can see that not only
is some of that incredibly moralistic,
436
00:22:48,319 --> 00:22:50,519
it's crucially
a pretty broad mandate.
437
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,156
And states have taken advantage
of that latitude.
438
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:56,675
Some have appropriated TANF money
for college scholarships
439
00:22:56,759 --> 00:22:59,235
that can end up
going to middle-class students.
440
00:22:59,319 --> 00:23:03,955
Since 2007, Michigan has spent
around $100 million each year
441
00:23:04,039 --> 00:23:06,356
in welfare money on college aid,
442
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,755
much of it benefiting families
well above the poverty line.
443
00:23:09,839 --> 00:23:11,116
And the state has justified this
444
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:14,876
by "saying that college aid helps
prevent out-of-wedlock pregnancies",
445
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,316
which makes sense, doesn't it ?
446
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,079
College is famously
a place where no one fucks.
447
00:23:20,079 --> 00:23:21,955
Oklahoma was, at one point,
448
00:23:22,039 --> 00:23:25,076
spending millions in TANF dollars
on marriage counseling classes,
449
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,755
including one called
"Forever. For Real".
450
00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:30,920
Would you like to see an ad for it ?
Too bad, here it is !
451
00:23:31,599 --> 00:23:34,799
It's the most important decision
you can make, to marry somebody.
452
00:23:35,839 --> 00:23:38,995
So, who wouldn't want
a closer and stronger relationship ?
453
00:23:39,079 --> 00:23:42,596
Once we decided that we were ready
to move forward in our relationship,
454
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,359
we wanted to protect what we had.
455
00:23:44,839 --> 00:23:48,715
We decided to go to "Forever. For Real"
for an investment in us.
456
00:23:48,799 --> 00:23:52,499
We know that our relationship won't
always be easy, but it will be forever.
457
00:23:52,759 --> 00:23:56,160
Forever. For Real. Now relationships
come with instructions.
458
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:01,039
The chemistry between that couple
is very much on the charts.
459
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:04,755
And it doesn't help that they tried
to set the mood by lighting candles
460
00:24:04,839 --> 00:24:08,279
when the rest of the room is lit
like the freezer aisle at a Kroger.
461
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,275
One reporter who attended
one of those classes found participants
462
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,316
were shocked to learn they'd been paid
for with welfare dollars,
463
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,475
because they considered themselves,
"pretty good" and "financially stable".
464
00:24:18,559 --> 00:24:20,955
But because, remember,
supporting a two-parent household
465
00:24:21,039 --> 00:24:24,275
is one of the four purposes
TANF funds can be used for,
466
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,596
what Oklahoma did
is completely legal.
467
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,396
And while they eventually
ended that program in 2016,
468
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:33,799
that was only after 17 years
of spending TANF dollars on it.
469
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,156
And at its absolute worst,
TANF money can be used
470
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,916
in actively harmful ways,
like funding crisis pregnancy centers.
471
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,556
We've talked about them
before on this show.
472
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,590
They are basically
fake abortion clinics
473
00:24:44,599 --> 00:24:47,275
designed to persuade people
to see pregnancies through to term,
474
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,356
often by propagating misinformation.
475
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,475
And yet, at least ten states
476
00:24:51,559 --> 00:24:54,636
have siphoned millions of TANF dollars
to pay for them.
477
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:55,796
Up until last year,
478
00:24:55,880 --> 00:25:00,275
Texas had directed $45 million
in TANF funds to these clinics.
479
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,995
Listen to some of the misinformation
that one of them was telling people.
480
00:25:04,079 --> 00:25:07,156
{\an8}At a center in the Dallas area,
a volunteer told our producer
481
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:11,759
{\an8}they don't offer abortions, adding
"Abortions can cause infertility".
482
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,160
{\an8}When asked about the abortion pill,
the volunteer said
483
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,680
{\an8} "My job is not to scare you.
You never get over seeing that baby".
484
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,799
{\an8}She then pointed to a small plastic
model like this saying,
485
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:26,839
{\an8} "Can you imagine
one of these in your panties ?"
486
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:33,116
Holy shit ! Your tax dollars,
which were meant to help poor families,
487
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,035
instead went to someone uttering
488
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,920
the single grossest sentence
in the history of words,
489
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:39,675
the only proper response to which is
490
00:25:39,759 --> 00:25:42,515
"Can you imagine how much
of a weirdo you'd have to be
491
00:25:42,599 --> 00:25:44,549
to say the word 'panties' to a stranger
492
00:25:44,599 --> 00:25:47,839
while showing them your collection
of Russian nesting fetuses ?"
493
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,475
I'm not saying states don't give
any TANF funds to needy families.
494
00:25:52,559 --> 00:25:56,160
But in many cases, they seem pretty
far down the list of priorities.
495
00:25:56,519 --> 00:25:59,515
In Oklahoma,
site of those sterile marriage classes,
496
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:04,755
the state was spending just nine% of its
TANF block grant on cash assistance.
497
00:26:04,839 --> 00:26:07,916
One way states manage to keep
their TANF rolls incredibly lean
498
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,079
is to set the barrier to access them
insurmountably high.
499
00:26:11,599 --> 00:26:13,079
In more than 25 states,
500
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,235
a family of three living
at half the federal poverty line
501
00:26:17,319 --> 00:26:21,556
earned too much to qualify for TANF,
which is just absurd.
502
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,316
Just listen to these women
in Mississippi,
503
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,720
who were told
they were too rich to qualify.
504
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,596
{\an8}We are the people. We are who
those programs are supposed to help.
505
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,200
{\an8}And they're not helping us.
506
00:26:32,559 --> 00:26:35,755
When you were rejected
for TANF for making too much money,
507
00:26:35,839 --> 00:26:37,035
how much were you making ?
508
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,876
It couldn't have been
any more than $11 per hour.
509
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,515
{\an8}I was actually making $9
and I was denied.
510
00:26:43,599 --> 00:26:45,960
How do I make too much money
with three kids,
511
00:26:46,279 --> 00:26:51,000
rent, utilities, transportation,
how do I make too much money ?
512
00:26:51,519 --> 00:26:53,200
Yeah. That is a great question !
513
00:26:53,799 --> 00:26:57,396
It's ridiculous that a parent of three
struggling to make ends meet
514
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,035
has "too much money"
to receive TANF assistance,
515
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,156
while the state was more than happy
to shovel cash toward
516
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,556
both Brett Favre and Ted DiBiase,
517
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:09,720
a wrestler whose signature pose is
"Hey, everyone ! I robbed an ATM".
518
00:27:10,799 --> 00:27:13,556
But it's not just that the income
threshold can be prohibitively low.
519
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:17,275
It's that the application process
itself can be deeply invasive.
520
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,515
For instance,
states are required to offset
521
00:27:19,599 --> 00:27:21,916
any TANF money
that they give to single mothers
522
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,195
by chasing down the biological fathers
for child support,
523
00:27:25,279 --> 00:27:28,119
money that the government
then often keeps for itself.
524
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,235
So in some states, single mothers
applying for public assistance
525
00:27:31,319 --> 00:27:34,796
are forced to identify the father
of their child, his eye color,
526
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,596
his license plate number, and the
exact date when they got pregnant,
527
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,440
often under penalty of perjury.
528
00:27:41,079 --> 00:27:44,235
Which is the most humiliating way
to identify the father of your child
529
00:27:44,319 --> 00:27:46,680
that doesn't involve
Maury fucking Povich.
530
00:27:47,559 --> 00:27:49,076
But there is one more twist here.
531
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,060
Because even if you qualify
and are able to get assistance,
532
00:27:52,079 --> 00:27:54,556
it can be extremely easy
to then lose it.
533
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,876
Not only do some states set time limits
for how long you can get TANF,
534
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,235
Arizona kicks you off
after just a year,
535
00:28:00,319 --> 00:28:03,636
the money comes with an obligation
to perform work activities,
536
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,596
like job searching and training,
537
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:09,195
that recipients have to engage in for
a certain number of hours each week.
538
00:28:09,279 --> 00:28:13,076
But for struggling parents,
which this program is for, remember,
539
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:17,119
that can be very difficult, especially
if they don't have access to childcare.
540
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,796
And I've lost the cash assistance
three or four times
541
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:25,640
due to the fact that no transportation,
nobody to watch my son,
542
00:28:26,039 --> 00:28:27,889
they want you to go looking for work.
543
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,640
How do you take a kid into a job
and ask for an application ?
544
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,475
It's not easy to take your kid along
into a job interview.
545
00:28:35,559 --> 00:28:37,475
That is why most job applications
546
00:28:37,559 --> 00:28:40,160
don't come with a bonus
big maze and a crayon.
547
00:28:41,079 --> 00:28:44,356
It's not like her state welfare office
is unaware that she has a child.
548
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:45,596
They know that.
549
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,079
They may even know the exact date
he was conceived, for some reason.
550
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:51,596
If you fail
to meet your obligations,
551
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,230
states can be pretty unforgiving
in cutting you off.
552
00:28:54,279 --> 00:28:56,356
Just listen to one woman
who was kicked off assistance,
553
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,480
despite having
an objectively solid excuse.
554
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,156
Kimberly Thompson spent two and a half
months in the hospital last summer,
555
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,279
after an infection ravaged her body.
556
00:29:05,599 --> 00:29:07,876
Nearly half of that time,
she was in a coma.
557
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,960
Adding insult to injury, though,
while she was comatose,
558
00:29:11,279 --> 00:29:13,629
the county kicked her
off government assistance.
559
00:29:13,799 --> 00:29:18,160
{\an8}I was in a coma and I didn't report in.
I was supposed to report in weekly,
560
00:29:19,559 --> 00:29:22,480
so, since I didn't report in,
they just cut it all off.
561
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,316
Finding out you've lost
your government assistance
562
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,235
has got to be one of the worst things
you could possibly hear
563
00:29:29,319 --> 00:29:30,556
when waking up from a coma,
564
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,340
along with "Actually,
we call him President Trump now",
565
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,680
and "Most of the dogs you knew
are dead."
566
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:40,715
The multiple hoops you have to jump
through before getting assistance,
567
00:29:40,799 --> 00:29:42,796
and the requirements
you have to meet to keep it,
568
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,235
is for an abysmally
small amount of money.
569
00:29:45,319 --> 00:29:50,596
In 15 states, cash benefit levels don't
even reach 20% of the poverty line,
570
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,920
which is about $386
for a family of three per month.
571
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,995
And if you're thinking
"Maybe states don't have the money",
572
00:29:58,079 --> 00:30:01,955
not only have you seen the bullshit
that some of them spend it on instead,
573
00:30:02,039 --> 00:30:04,156
but you should know,
perhaps the most shocking thing
574
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:08,039
that some states spend TANF money
on is absolutely nothing at all.
575
00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:13,316
As of last year, states were sitting
on $5.2 billion in unspent TANF funds.
576
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,675
Tennessee alone
was hoarding $790 million,
577
00:30:16,759 --> 00:30:19,836
the largest pool of unspent
welfare funds in the country.
578
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:21,755
And you know,
it's like the famous saying goes,
579
00:30:21,839 --> 00:30:25,076
"Everything's bigger in Tennessee,
no wait, fuck, that's Texas.
580
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,796
Oh no, why is someone
writing down everything I'm saying ?
581
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,755
Scratch that from the record,
I sound like an idiot.
582
00:30:29,839 --> 00:30:32,759
Why are you still writing ?
Stop. I'm serious. Stop.
583
00:30:33,119 --> 00:30:34,995
If you don't stop writing
I'll fuck you up so silly
584
00:30:35,079 --> 00:30:37,329
you'll be holdin' pens
in your mouth, bitch !"
585
00:30:37,359 --> 00:30:38,559
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
586
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,876
And when you put all of this together,
it's no wonder that most people on TANF
587
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,640
don't go from welfare to work.
588
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:52,156
In 2018, only one in four TANF cases
closed because clients found jobs.
589
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:53,636
The rest were kicked off
590
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,796
for one of the many bullshit reasons
that we've mentioned tonight.
591
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:00,235
Basically, TANF lifts people
out of poverty
592
00:31:00,319 --> 00:31:02,636
the same way
one of those arcade claw games
593
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:04,916
lifts stuffed animals
out of the machine,
594
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:08,076
which is to say, it usually just drops
them right back where they started,
595
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,480
and in many ways, the whole process
is a giant "fuck you" to kids.
596
00:31:12,119 --> 00:31:16,955
The good news is, there are things
that we could do here, if we wanted to.
597
00:31:17,039 --> 00:31:18,836
We've talked before
about some of the big,
598
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,755
broader changes that would help
alleviate the pain of poverty.
599
00:31:21,839 --> 00:31:25,275
But even when it just comes to TANF,
there are options.
600
00:31:25,359 --> 00:31:28,316
We could set a minimum benefit level
and loosen some of the requirements
601
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:30,235
that make it so easy
to lose assistance.
602
00:31:30,319 --> 00:31:32,316
And if we're going to keep
doing block grants,
603
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,116
which I would argue
we absolutely shouldn't,
604
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,600
they should at least be adjusted
for inflation and population growth,
605
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,916
with a certain amount required
to be spent on direct cash assistance.
606
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,920
The wild thing here is,
607
00:31:43,359 --> 00:31:46,275
our current system was created
under the assumption that poor families
608
00:31:46,359 --> 00:31:49,596
simply couldn't be trusted
to collect welfare honestly.
609
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:51,396
But the past couple of decades
610
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,636
have proven that it's actually
politicians and government officials
611
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,920
who've been relentlessly
abusing this system.
612
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:00,796
To borrow a phrase, we've been feeding
the alligators in state government,
613
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,680
and that has bred dependency.
614
00:32:03,359 --> 00:32:06,195
So we need to fundamentally
rework things so that this money,
615
00:32:06,279 --> 00:32:09,316
and ideally much more,
can go where it is badly needed.
616
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,316
And if any lawmakers think
that that sounds too hard,
617
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,316
and are tempted
to take a pass on it,
618
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:18,480
I have a song with a powerful message
that I'm pretty sure will inspire you.
619
00:32:18,839 --> 00:32:22,720
Work for it, work for it.
Turn your dreams into reality.
620
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,836
Work for it, work for it.
621
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:26,759
Exactly. And now this.
622
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:32,079
And Now: The Humble Beginnings
of Rachael Ray.
623
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:37,715
When I was a girl, I was
a fountain girl at Howard Johnson's.
624
00:32:37,799 --> 00:32:40,949
Back in the day, I was a HoJo
fountain girl at Howard Johnson's.
625
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,920
I was a fountain girl
at Howard Johnson's.
626
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,116
When I was a kid, I used to work
at HoJo's, Howard Johnson's.
627
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,796
God ! I feel like I'm working in,
like, HoJo's back in the day.
628
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,035
Big ol' ice cream scoop, just like
we used to do it back at the HoJo's.
629
00:32:54,119 --> 00:32:57,955
I haven't worn nylons since
I worked at HoJo's as a fountain girl.
630
00:32:58,039 --> 00:32:59,755
When I was a kid,
I used to work at HoJos.
631
00:32:59,839 --> 00:33:01,356
I was a HoJo fountain girl.
632
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:05,480
When I got promoted to the fountain,
I thought my life would be amazing.
633
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,359
It was like Cinderella.
It was just so exciting.
634
00:33:09,799 --> 00:33:14,680
And then I realized I was too short
to scoop the ice cream,
635
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,755
and there was a little faucet
that would clean the scoops.
636
00:33:18,839 --> 00:33:22,920
So, there was a constant
stream of leftover ice cream
637
00:33:23,279 --> 00:33:25,680
on the side
of the ice cream cooler.
638
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,715
When I'd push myself up
and throw myself,
639
00:33:28,799 --> 00:33:32,556
hurl myself into the ice cream cooler
to get the ice cream,
640
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:37,035
I ended up
with a line of melted, sour,
641
00:33:37,119 --> 00:33:42,119
every flavor that Howard Johnson's
served of ice cream across my boobs,
642
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:46,440
so I became the girl
with the ice cream boobs.
643
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,039
AND NOW
644
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,930
Thanks so much for watching,
we'll see you next week, good night !
645
00:33:56,519 --> 00:34:00,680
{\an8}- Work for it, work for it.
- Be proud of a new job !
646
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:05,000
{\an8}- Work for it, work for it.
- Be proud of a new job !
647
00:34:05,759 --> 00:34:09,360
{\an8}Work for it, work for it.
Turn your dreams into reality !
648
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:13,960
{\an8}- Work for it, work for it.
- Become a money saver !
649
00:34:14,639 --> 00:34:18,239
{\an8}Work for it, work for it,
'cause you can get a job.
60127
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