All language subtitles for Freddys.Nightmares.S01E06.Saturday.Night.Special.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-NOSiViD

[theme music]

[indistinct shouting]

[screaming]

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter]

Let's do it. Wait.

[music continues]

Here we go.

- Yeah! Alright!
- Alright.

You know, I think
we got a pretty good shot

against Wickman Insurance
this year.

'Huh, guess they're
big hockey fans.'

Hey, Gordon, Gordon, Gordon,
catch this.

They're on their knees.

[laughing]

(Gordon)
'Wow, look at Angela.'

'She's got
the rest of those girls'

'so outclassed.'

She's beautiful and smart.

[sighs]
'The way she glides
around out there'

'it's like she's dancing.'

'Every single move
is so graceful.'

(Freddy)
'Oh, please.'

(Gordon)
'I mean it. She's like, watching
a ballerina. She's perfect.'

'Like a work of art,
like something out of a dream.'

(Freddy)
'You know, I'm surprised,
she can skate it all'

'on that poor pedestal
you got her on.'

'A girl like that
deserves to be the pedestal.'

Oh, would you forget her?

'She's just, she's just another
girl, not some Goddess.'

(Gordon)
'You don't know her.'

(Freddy)
'I-I keep forgetting
how tight you two are.'

We have a very special
relationship.

Hey, you asked her out twice,
and she turned you down twice.

'You know, I'm-I'm
no big expert on romance'

'but I think she may be trying
to tell you something.'

It's just that,
you know, she doesn't go out

with guys at work, that's all.

'She doesn't want people
to think that she's, you know..'

(Freddy)
'Dating her way to the top?'

(Gordon)
'She's got a reputation
to think of.'

Oh, then I guess Schneider's got

some kind of executive
exemption.

How could she do this?
He's suck a jerk.

(Freddy)
'Yeah, but he's a jerk
with a future.'

'Why bother with a couple
of juniors sales reps'

when you can have
the vice president?

He's nothing but
a brown-nosing corporate creep.

(Freddy)
'I know, well she's just going'

for the gold,
like everybody else.

I'm sure they all want
a sensitive, caring kind of guy.

Mostly the sensitive,
caring kind of guy

who earn six figures a year.

[music continues]

What do you want
with an uptight secretary

when we have
creatures like that?

Oh, yeah, look at her.

Young and healthy.
And she can really skate.

Hmm.

Oh, I'd like to slip my puck
past her little blue line.

'That's one natural
and one free spirit'

'and earthy andveryi

'Well, that takes
incredible muscle control.'

'And-and a certain amount
of courage.'

(Gordon)
'Courage?'

(Freddy)
'Yeah, hey,
this is a public place.'

'It takes guts to be
that free and open.'

Hey, pal.
This is your lucky night.

'She can come on
to you for weeks.'

She's not my type.

Oh, well, excuse me.

I'm sorry, I forgot
you wouldn't be content

with just a...better
than average looking chick.

You have to have Miss Perfect.

It's just
a personal preference, okay?

Oh, sure, if you're
fightin' 'em off.

But you're not.

Look, face it. The girls
you want, don't want you.

Thanks, pal.

Hey, look,
I'm being your friend.

Just kiss your fantasy goodbye
and get real.

Get..

'Now t-that's real.'

'But-but no, you gotta keep
looking for a blonde Goddess'

'so perfect that she'd have to
be programed by a computer.'

[crickets chirping]

[instrumental music]

[car door slams]

[intense music]

[burps]

Hope he didn't buy off
more than he can chew.

[laughing]

So you're looking
for an attractive young woman

to share your life with.

Someone who is willing
to commit themselves

to a loving but
monogamous relationship.

Yeah.

On the weekends, anyway.

If you'll come right over here,
Gordon..

Gordon, Gordo? Gordy.
Yes, that's much better.

Sit down, right over here, Gordy

so we can do
a video presentation.

Is this extra?

The video
and all the other extras

are included in
our "Saturday Night Special."

Now, we don't get a second
chance at first impression

so it's very important

that we show you
in your very best light.

Relax.

Just look into the camera.

[sighs]

Sit straight, not stiff.

That's it.

Smile.

Too much.

Good.

You're squinting, Gordy.
Don't squint.

'Now, you're gonna tell us
all about your life.'

'Very naturally. Just as if you
were sitting in your own home.'

We're rolling tape.

Okay, um..

[clears throat]
Hi, I'm Gordon.

Gordy.

Okay. Hi, I'm Gordy.

Hi, I'm Gordy.

And I work for, um

Springwood Mutual Causality
And Life--

- Cut.
- What?

I think we can do
better than that.

But that's what I do,
I sell insurance.

'But that's not what
you'd really like to be doing.'

That's not who
you'd really like to be.

No! No, I would rather be,
uh, Van Halen.

Traveling around the country,
and-and-and playing drums

and fighting off groupies.

Heavy metal.

No, that's a wrong image.

What? Even my-my fantasies
aren't classy enough?

Not for the kind of girl
you want.

'Of course these things
are negotiable'

but only to a certain point.

'If you want a thoroughbred'

'you have to be willing to pay
for thoroughbred.'

So you want me to lie?

You're a salesman, Gordy.

You're a professional liar

Your job is to convince people

that they want things,
they don't really need

and they can't really afford.

Well, yeah, but this doe..

This is different.
This does not seem ethical.

Unlike selling life insurance

betting the customers gonna live

while you con them
into paying monthly premiums

on the chance,
he might just get lucky

and die.

That's some jackpot.

So, let's see if we can come up

with something
a little more upscale.

Something that requires
a Harvard degree.

But I didn't even graduate from
Springwood Community College.

I mean,
what do you want me to say?

And then, after graduating
from the University of Minnesota

with degrees
in Business and Law..

...I was drafted by
the Canadian Hockey League

where I played for Montreal.

And...although I love the game..

...and our neighbors
to the north..

...I knew that
I had to return home.

I knew, that I had to make

my American dream come true.

And that's when I started my
international banking business.

That doesn't even look like me.

You're right.
Lying can do wonders.

...financial empire
is a success.

I've realized that..

...no matter
how many millions...I make

'I can only drive
one Porsche at a time.'

[exhales]

And sometimes..

...the view from my penthouse

is lonely

without someone
to share it with.

Without that special someone..

'...who will love me
for what I am.'

Perfect.

I can't believe
I said all that stuff.

What's important is that
special someone believes it.

She's out there, waiting.

Waiting for a man, just like
the man that's on that video.

Waiting for you.

And with the help
of Rendezvous patented

date-make computer technology

we're gonna find
the girl of your dreams.

[instrumental music]

[exhales]

[birds chirping]

[groans]

Hey, Gordy.

[instrumental music]

Well, you sure
weren't shy last night.

I don't usually play
those kinds of games.

But I've always wanted to.

I've never been
the aggressive type.

[breathes heavily]

Not till now.

[music continues]

Can't say no to me, Gordy.

You just can't.

[moaning]

[clock buzzing]

[buzzing stops]

[clock ticking]

[telephone rings]

Hello?

(woman on phone)
'Is this Gordy?'

- Yeah.
- 'Uh, hi.'

'My name's Lana.'

'I got your number
from Rendezvous Dating.'

'Mr. Bangor said
he'd given you mine, but..'

'...then,
when you didn't call, well..'

'...I figured I'd have to be
the one to make the first move.'

'I can't believe
I'm actually doing this.'

'I've always wanted to'

'but I've never been'

'the aggressive type.'

'Not till now, anyway.'

Oh, huh, uh, yeah,
Lana. Oh, yeah, I remember.

I do and, uh, um, uh..

'Well...would you like
to go out sometime?'

'Come on, you can't say no,
you just can't.'

Well, no.
I mean, uh, yes. I mean, um..

- How's Saturday night?
- 'Great.'

'I'm really looking forward
to meeting you, Gordy.'

'I hope you're
not disappointed.'

[ticking continues]

[sighs]

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

Hi...I'm Gordon.

Gordy.

(Lana)
'Mary, if that's Gordon'

'tell him I'll be right there.'

Thank you.

So, you're Mary.

Had you worried there
for a minute.

Worried, no, no.

[laughs]

You're not as good a liar
as Lana's other dates.

But you're shorter.

Hi!

Hi.

Well, am I what you expected?

[chuckles]

You're exactly
what I expected.

- Then you're not disappointed.
- Not any more.

It was nice to meet you, Mary.

(Mary)
'You too, Gordy.'

[saxophone music]

Uh, so, umm, I sent..

...the Ferrari to the shop..

...to be painted.

- What color?
- And...the Ferrari?

- Red.
- Oh, I love red.

- You do?
- Yeah.

Great, um, well, then of course
it goes out from under me

you know,
the damn carburetor and..

And it's new?

Brand, right off
the showroom floor

so they stuck me
with this lousy loaner.

You know, Gordy, I maybe blonde,
but I'm not dumb.

'They stopped
putting carburetors'

'in the European models
in 1973'

and in the American models
since '71.

Besides I can really
see you driving around

in a beat-up old loaner.

[car door closed]

Not a guy like you, Gordy.

[instrumental music]

(Lana)
'This restaurant is supposed
to be the best.'

'Everyone says the food
is absolutely fabulous.'

'The owners brought the chef
all the way over from Europe.'

Romania, I think.

Yeah, great glasses.

Oh, this is beautiful, Gordy.

So romantic.

I hear the food here
is wonderful.

Oh, I've never
been here before.

Oh, I like a man who's
not afraid to try something new.

Oh.

Gordy, could we have
some champagne?

Umm, huh?

- Oh, champagne?
- Uh-huh.

Yeah, oh..

Mademoiselle..

[speaking in French]

[speaking in French]

Ooh, la, la.

I didn't know
you spoke French.

- French?
- Uh-huh.

Well, you just sort of pic
that kind of thing up..

...when...you play hockey
for Montreal.

I had to do all of my
Stanley Cup interviews

in English
and

(Lana)
'Oh, you know, it amazes me
how guys like you'

'always know just
the right thing to say.'

Yeah, well,
you sort of get used to that

when you...when you make

umm, uh, small talk.

Although, franc
and the pound are obsolete

in a world run by
the dollar and the yen.

[cork pops]

[screaming]

- Oh, no, this is silk.
- Silk..

[giggles]

Gordy, what are you
staring at?

Sorry.

Well, with a neckline like that,
it's hard not to see.

Oh, no, no, no,
when she opened the bottle

the, the cork,
it-it-it, it..

and then it got
all over your dress

and, and, and,
if-if that stains..

...you can send me
the dry-cleaning bill.

You are so thoughtful.

[blows nose]

Our first date.

I hope that I can make
all your dreams come true.

Uh..

You know, Gordy,
that Rendezvous computer

may turn out to be
a...pretty good matchmaker.

You know, I just, I-I don't
understand what a pretty girl

like you is doing
at a computer dating service.

Pretty girls get lonely too.

I spent lots of Saturday
nights at home.

[indistinct chatter]

Well, it's just lucky
I'm not the jealous type.

Becauseyouare the ki

a girl would kill for.

[intense music]

[screaming]

Oh, my God!

(female #1)
'Ow!'

'Oh!'

Gordy? Are you alright?

[breathing heavily]

Uh..

I-I, uh, I guess I just..

[coughing]
...had a little
too much champagne.

Well, you know what they say.

The more expensive the champagne

the pinker the elephants.

[chuckles]

Right.

[exhales deeply]

You know, Gordy

you've made me feel so special.

The way you thought of no one,
but me all night.

Hah.

I think it's only fair
that, after dinner

we do something you like.

Something I know you do
better than anyone else.

Hmm.

[intense music]

[car engine revving]

How did you get us
in here after hours?

I have my ways.

Ahh.

Isn't it great?

So cool and refreshing.

Freezing's more like it.

Lana, it's late.

Come on, Gordy.

Don't you wanna go to a movie?

I can go to a movie
with any guy, Gordy.

But you're not any guy.

You're special.

Well, you know, um..

I might be a little rusty
from sitting on a desk.

I wouldn't bet
your Stanley Cup on it.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

You know, Gordy,
I was beginning to think

you didn't like me.

Oh, I like you just fine.

Right now, I'd trade every
Stanley Cup I ever won for you.

Sure, till you've had
your fun with me.

Used me.

I know what guys like you
are like, Gordy.

Always going after
the next girl, the next trophy.

Believe me, Lana.

I'm not like that.

Not now, Gordy.

Why not?

Because, it'sgame time!

Come on, Gordy.

Show me those famous
flashing blades.

I'm-I-m really not very good,
I mean, I-I've got weak ankles!

Let's go, Gordy. You're a pro.
A world champion.

[nervous laughter]
Well, you know, not-not really.

I, uh, maybe I exaggerated
the truth, you know just

'a little bit.'

I've never won a Stanley Cup

and I sure as hell
don't speak French.

Oh. Noparlez vous

No! No! And I sell insurance.

Uh, on commission.

I mean, I could never afford
to-to-to flaunt those fancy cars

'and the, and the apartment on
what Springwood Mutual paid me.'

Are you telling me
you lied, Gordy?

Yes! I lied!

[screaming]
No!

But they were just..

...little lies.

I mean, I-I, um..

...I do it all the time,
everybody does.

But it's not like..

It's...it's not like..

...anybody got hurt.

[engine revving]

Lana, please!

Lana!

'Lana!'

Lana? Lana?

Please, Lana?

Lana?

'Okay, okay, I lied, but
that's-that's not a crime.'

'Well, okay, maybe it is,
but it's a misdemeanor.'

'It's definitely not a felony
and this is definitely cruel'

'unusual punishment!'

Help, Lan-Lana.

[breathing heavily]

Help!

Lana!

[intense music]

Isn't this a wonderful machine?

It does everything it promises.

It makes the ice
so clean and shiny.

You can almost
see yourself in it.

[screaming]

[intense music]

[car horn blaring]

[screeching]

[intense music]

[music continues]

When it comes to flesh..

...the first cut's
always the deepest.

Voila.

[evil laughter]

[theme music]

[instrumental music]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[music continues]

[banging]

[grunting]

What is going on in here?

All that screaming and beating
on this poor machine.

Well, if you're trying
to get fired

you can just forget it.

Because I'm not gonna get stuck
paying your half of the rent

while you're out tryin'
to find another job.

There.

You're always letting
the stupidest

little things upset you.

[sighs]
Ah! I broke a nail.

Oh! Tsk. Wha..

I thought I heard screaming.

Are you alright?
Should we call for help?

Well, unfortunately
my manicurist

doesn't make house calls.

Oh!

Well, you go get that fixe
right away

and take the afternoon off
if you have to.

We wanna make sure
the hand that greets

our Springwood Properties'
clients is a pretty one.

Whatever you say, Mr. Fadiman.

- Oh, Lana.
- Mm-hm.

Mr. Rawley will be flying in
from the coast Saturday night

to sign the escrow papers
on the Welman estate.

That was Milly Stern's listing.

Mrs. Stern made the deal

'with Rawley's construction
company over the phone.'

He'd never guess by the sound
of her voice

she was a grandmother.

I'd like you to close that deal.

Get Rawley that
special personal attention

that the Springwood Realty
is so famous for.

It would be my pleasure.

[phone rings]

(Mr. Fadiman)
'Miss Kelly.'

[typewriter keys clacking]

(female #1)
'Alright, let's set it up
for tomorrow.'

(Mr. Fadiman)
'Where are the copies of my'

Springwood beautification
report?

I need them for tomorrow's
town's council meeting.

I'll have them for you
by the end of the day.

As you can see things have been

pretty busy around here lately.

It's about time

the market went soft
after that Kruger business.

But people are finally
starting to see

that Springwood's
just like any other town.

Only with affordable housing.

'And Rawley building
his shopping center'

'on the Welman estate'

won't hurt the town's new
upwardly mobile image either.

He's gonna tear down
that beautiful old house?

Beauty is in the eye
of the deed holder.

'Anyway it was condemned
weeks ago.'

'Rawley just saved us the price
and the trouble of a bulldozer.'

I wish we could get rid of all
this town's eyesores so easily.

[machine whirring]

[intense music]

[chuckles]

Copier copier in the hall.

Who's the fairest
of them all?

Ain't me.

[evil laughter]

[instrumental music]

What do you think?

'It's not too tight, is it?'

[sighs]

I feel like an elephant
after eating that big dinner

atLe

Is it as nice as everyone says?

The food is good.

The service is kinda spotty.

I was gonna buy it in red but..

...I figured black would be more
appropriate for the office.

You bought that for the office?

Well, my meeting with Rawley
is on company time.

Anyway Fadiman paid for it.

You should've told him
to stick it.

I thought I'd give Mr. Rawley
first chance at this hot

little property, that's
currently on the market...me!

You think your Mr. Rawley is
in the market for a Mrs. Rawley?

I'm not into job titles

so long as the salary's right.

I know, I know.

A woman should be valued
for who she is

and not what
she looks like, right?

'The way I see it'

life's just
one big beauty pageant.

Like it or not we are all
contestants from the minut

they slap your butt and tell
your daddy, it's a girl.

The only choice we have..

...is weather to be winners..

...or losers.

Not everybody has that choice.

Everybody has a choice.

'You can look like
anybody you want.'

Pick a face, any face.

And a whole new body.

I know a guy who can mix
and match 'em however you want.

His name wouldn't happen to be
Dr. Frankenstein, would it?

[chuckles]

Very funny!
No, his name is Tony.

'The guy's a miracle worker.'

To make me beautiful,
he'd have to be.

It's too late to make
a big decision tonight.

[sighs]

So you just think about it and..

...let me know in the morning.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Lana..

...I'm not
so sure about this.

Hmm.

What price beauty?

Just put it
on your credit card.

It's not just the money.

What if it doesn't
turn out right?

Mary, let's be honest.

What have you got to lose?

You'll love Tony.
He's the best.

The absolute best.

Relax.

There's nothing
to be afraid of.

[scream]

[laughing]

I told you, didn't I?

You're beautiful.

Now give it a toss.

Yeah, that's it.

See how the hair
brings out the eyes

'and frames those
exquisite cheek bones'

and that cute little nose.

[grunts]

Oh, this is what
it's all about for me.

[music continues]

Making women happy.

[chuckles]

So...you must be Mary.

She's a little nervous.

Well, you're standing right
next to some of my best work.

So, Mary, are you ready?

Go on.

[intense music]

Okay, Mary,
what'll it be?

Make me pretty.

Well, pretty is,
as pretty does.

Make me beautiful.

Babe..

...beauty's only skin deep

The stuff that really counts,
that's inside.

Yeah, well, I'd kinda like to

try it on the outside
for a while.

Okay.

You're the one who's gotta shave
in the morning.

To me..

...you're perfect.

But if you wanna be different..

...I'll make you different

I know exactly what I want

Baby..

...you and the rest
of the female race

haven't the slightest
idea what you want.

I can remember when
all the women wanted in life

was to be somebody's wife.

Mrs. Anybody
was better than being Miss..

Unless it was Miss America.

Now, she doesn't want to be
Miss America at all.

She wants to be President.

Or better yet..

...the President's wife.

All the power..

...and none
of the responsibilities.

You just wanted
to be taken care of.

Then you wanted your space.

And not too much space.

Because what you really wanted..

...was intimacy.

[Mary groaning]

[instrumental music]

'You told us, you wanted a man'

who would let you be free.

But not unless, he was willing
to make a commitment.

[groaning]

'Now, I like pretty girls.'

'But it's like..'

'...looking at the Mona Lisa.'

'Oh, sure,
it's a great painting, but uh..'

'...I don't wanna
take her home.'

(Mary)
'Ah!'

I like, uh..

...smart women.

A woman who'd know
how to listen.

And uh..

...funny women.

Women who make me laugh.

'Now, the new
woman is different.'

'She's not about to change her
name when she gets married.'

'Yet, she doesn't think twice'

'about changing
her face and body.'

- Ow!
- 'Anything and everything.'

- 'And all of it for love.'
- Ah!

[Mary screaming]

God, I love women.

[laughing]

[gasps]

Oh, Mary,
you're beautiful.

Really beautiful!

And you!

You're a genius!

Well, I'm just here
to make you happy.

This is what my life is about.

I just can't help it.

I love women.

Thanks.

[chuckling]

She didn't even
leave a tip.

I still can't believe
it's really me.

It's just the way
I dreamed it.

Now, that you're different
everything's going

to be different.

It's just the way
I dreamed it.

Now..

...I have one more
little surprise for you.

You have a date
tomorrow night

with Mr. Rawley.

What?

Well, what else can you
give a girl who has everything

except a man.

[sighs]
Fadiman will kill us.

We'll both get fired.

All he cares about is keeping
the customers satisfied.

And I think Mr. Rawley
will be very satisfied.

Do you really think so?

Of course he will.

When everyone was all upset
about the ol' Welman estate

being torn down because
it was special and unique.

Mr. Rawley was the one
with the vision to see

that these things
just weren't important.

As part of the Springwood
beautification project.

It had to go.

Buildings, people.

Pretty is pretty.

And you're beautiful.

Lana, I don't know
how to thank you.

Don't thank me.
You did it.

'You knew what you wanted.'

You wanted to be perfect.

And now you are.

'So enjoy yourself.'

You deserve it.

You know, I used to think
that you just kept me around

so you'd look even more
beautiful by comparison.

But I was wrong.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

[sighs]

[moans]

Lana, Lana!

Aren't you gonna introduce me
to your friend?

It's me,
Mr. Fadiman. Mary.

Of course. Mary.

I told her
no one would recognize her.

It's amazing
what a new hairdo and, uh..

...a little makeup will do.

Amazing.

Oh, well,
I better get back to work.

Wait, wait, Mary. Wait.

But don't you need those copies
of your beautification reports.

I think it's time

you started working out here
on the floor.

We could even get you
your own desk.

Yes, right here by the window.

AndI
your first clients for you

Mary, this is
Mr. and Mrs. Winters

and their
two adorable children.

I know Mary will be able
to find you

the house of your dreams.

I'm sure you'll be
every bit as happy

in Springwood as I have been.

[telephone ringing]

Mr. Rawley's plane was due
in over an hour ago.

He'll be here.

Are you sure this is alright
with Fadiman?

Mary, there's no sense
in being beautiful

if you're not gonna
start acting like it.

(Rawley)
Hello!

Hello, Mr. Rawley.

I'm Lana.
This is my associate Mary.

She's gonna help you
with the paperwork.

'So you can close the escrow
on the Welman property.'

But Mr. Fadiman told me
I would be dealing with you.

But I think this arrangement
is going to work out just fine.

All we want
here at Springwood Properties

is to make sure the clients
leaves completely satisfied.

Mary, would you mind terribly

if we went over
some of this paperwork

back at my hotel room?

Hm. Alright.

[honking]

(Rawley)
'Aren't you hungry?'

(Mary)
'I thought I was.'

(Rawley)
I was gonna have him send up
a couple of steaks

but you said
you loved caviar.

I do.

It just didn't taste
very good to me tonight.

That stuff never taste
any good.

But then I really
didn't have much of an appetite.

You're probably bored
with men telling you

how beautiful you are.

I don't know how anybody
could ever get tired

of hearing
a thing like that.

Is that a no?

You just surprised me.

Well, then..

Shall we get down to business?

Come on, relax.

You can't tell me
that doesn't feel good.

What?

That.

[sighs]

- Am I hurting you?
- No.

I just don't feel anything

Oh. Maybe
I'm not hurting you enough.

What are those?

I have seen
some bad boob jobs

but those are the worst.

You really ought to
get your money back.

No offence,
but they just don't look real.

In fact you should sue,
that's malpractice.

'You should be compensated.'

'I'll put you in touch
with my attorney if you like.'

[gasps]
No! No!

Come on, calm down.

Take it easy, honey.
They can fix it.

They can fix anything.

'Take it easy.
What are you doing with that?'

'Don't be crazy!
Stop that, for God's sake!'

'I'm sorry.'

I told you,
once you were different

everything would be different.

But you wanted to be perfect.

And now you are..

...so enjoy yourself.

(as Freddy)
You deserve it.

[grunts]

[glass shattering]

I swear to you,
I didn't do it.

Call Fadiman at
Springwood Properties again.

If he's not there,
call her friend Lana.

God, I don't even know
her last name.

[indistinct]

(male #1)
'A piece of mirror sliced right
through her jugular.'

(male #2)
'Yeah, not much
of a looker, huh?'

(male #1)
'You ever seen
a good-lookin' corpse?'

(male #2)
'Uh, yeah.'

[dramatic music]

Remember, beauty's
only skin-deep.

'All that really counts..'

...is what's inside.

[laughing]

[theme music]

[theme music]