All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S01E18 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Everyone's awfully quiet
Tonight.

Sorry, mom
I'm just tired.

Me too -- school.
Work.

Life.
Dig it, man.

Peace out, humphrey.

Mystery.

Well, this is just ridiculous--

Three intelligent women sitting
Here in complete silence.

There must be something
To talk about.

Do you know that every night
At dinner,

The kennedy clan
Would sit around the table

Having lively debates
About everything under the sun?

They would quiz each other
About current events

Historical facts,
Intellectual trivia.

Now, the gilmore clan
Is just as smart and worldly

As the kennedys,
So come on --

Somebody -- say something.

Do you know that a butt model
Makes $10,000 a day?

Camelot is truly dead.

(richard)
'emily!'

In here.
Just follow the crickets.

I am sorry I'm late,

But I come
Bearing wonderful news.

Siri, bring mr. Gilmore
A plate.

I just got off the phone.

Would you like to
Change first?

No, no, no, I'm fine.

Siri, mr. Gilmore is hungry.

Emily, I'm perfectly capable
Of putting a napkin on my lap.

Alright, I'm sorry.
You were on the phone...

Long distance.

God?
London.

God lives in london?
My mother lives in london.

Your mother is god?

- lorelai--
- so, god is a woman...

Lorelai.
And a relative.

That's so cool.

I'm gonna totally ask
For favors.

Make her stop.

You spoke with
Your mother.

Yes, I did. She's fine,
She sends her love,

And...She's coming to visit.

- what?
- you're kidding.

I'm gonna get to meet
My great-grandma?

- lorelai the first.
- when?

- I was named after her.
- richard, when?

You're going to love her.
She is brilliant.

- absolutely brilliant.
- we share that also.

I'm asking a question here.
Does no one hear me?

Am I suddenly invisible?

I'm sorry.
What was the question?

When is your mother arriving?

A week from today.

I'm telling you,
It's going to be such a treat.

Excuse me.

I still can't get over
That I'm related to god.

It's going to make getting
Madonna tickets so much easier.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to *

* if you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow *

* oh, oh, oh *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to *

* if you need
If you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow
Where you lead *

Mom?

It's just like that woman --
No warnings, no discussion,

Then out of the blue,
"I'm coming next week"!

What are you doing?
I have to unpack
These things.

What things?
Excuse me, boys.

I have to get out everything
She has ever given us.

35 years' worth of fish lamps
And dog statues,

Lion tables
And stupid naked angels

With their...Butts!

Whoa!
Stupid naked angel butts?

- leave, please.
- mom, calm down.

I can't calm down!

That lampshade is missing
And the china is cracked

And I can't remember
Which table it is

That she gave us
For our anniversary!

Mother, grandma is
A very old woman.

I highly doubt that
She's gonna remember

Everything she ever bought you.

She will remember,
And do you know why?

No. Do you guys know why?

Because she doesn't just
Give you a present,

She tells you where to put it,

What it costs
For insurance purposes,

And god forbid you should have
A different opinion

Or you just get tired
Of waking up

With those horrifying animals
Staring at you!

She's just upset.
Stop talking to the dogs!

Mom! You're freaking out.

I've never seen you
Freak out before.

Yes, you have.
You were 12.

It was the last time
She came to visit.

- do you want some help?
- no!

[ sighs ]

Please.

Where's it going?
Third floor.

How about the second floor?
Third floor.

How about the first floor
On a ladder?

So tell me more about her.

I don't really know
That much.

Well, you know more
Than I do.

Well, let's see.

She moved to london
When grandpa died.

She didn't like to travel, so

Once a year mom and dad
Would go to visit her,

Usually leaving me behind --

Much to my relief,
By the way. And that's it.

The rest I know from stories,
Just like you.

Grandpa says
I remind him of her.

And that is
The biggest compliment

That can be wrenched out of
Grumpy mcfarlane, believe me.

I hope she likes me.

She'll love you.

I hope she and grandma
Get along.

She'll love you.

I think that the basic structure
Of the elizabethan government

Is relatively sound.

The division of power between
The monarchy, privy council,

And the parliament
All seem to work.

Agreed.
Ditto.

Okay, so in establishing
Our own government,

I think duplicating a similar
Structure would be good.

With a few alterations.

Queen elizabeth chose to remain
Unwed.

She took on the burden
Of leadership all by herself

At a time when possibly marrying
The prince of france

Would have solidified her throne
While expanding her empire.

And though it obviously
Worked for her,

And the concept of a woman
Ruling without a man

Is politically correct, we need
To take a different tact.

I think
We need to devise a nation

With a solidified
Royal alliance,

So in addition to the members

Of the different political
Branches,

We'll also need
A king and queen.

Rory, tristin,
What about you?

Us? No.

Yes, no.

- why?
- because..

I just don't want
To be queen.

Me either.

King --
I don't want to be king.

What about you?
You be queen.

I'm going to be
The head of parliament.

Be both.
I can't be both.

Why not?

It's not done that way.
It can be.

Henry viii started
A new church

When the old one
Wouldn't allow divorce.

He also cut off
His wife's head.

I'm just saying
We have the opportunity

To make any kind of
Government we want here.

Why won't you be queen?

- I'll be queen.
- yeah, make madeline queen.

Fine. You're queen,
Tristin's king.

I'll be the lady-in-waiting,

The one with that low-cut,
Blue-velvet renaissance dress.

Lady-in-waiting
Is not a political office.

No, but they get
All the sex.

What?

Watch a movie.

We're talking about the
Government.

Why can't I get one person
To care about this

As much as I do?!

Fine. I'll be the head
Of the quarter sessions court,

But I'm still wearing
The dress.

- happy?
- out of my mind.

Okay, I secured us the classroom
To work tomorrow and sunday

So that by monday
We'll be ready.

We're working all weekend?

Take this.

It's an outline
For the overall system --

Point of methods,
Basic laws and penalties,

Plus some random ideas.

Please be ready to discuss it
Tomorrow at 9:00 in the morning.

Don't be late.

Wow.
She designed the flag.

- question.
- okay.

What's up with you
And tristin?

What do you mean?

You just seem weird
Around each other.

- no weirder than usual.
- I disagree.

I just think it's strange that
You didn't want to be queen.

You know, not all girls
Want to be queen, paris.

Even barbie ended up being
A stewardess.

Okay, if you say so.

Read my manifesto.
I want your thoughts.

First thought --
Lose the word "Manifesto."

Too cabin-in-the-woods?
Don't open your mail.

Right.
How about "Doctrine"?

Better.

Okay, see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Uh...You left this.

Oh, yeah, I did.
Thanks.

Sure.

Well, that could have been a
Potential marx brothers moment.

- you go first.
- okay.

I think we need to talk.

- about what?
- you know about what.

No, I don't.

We have a lot of work
Ahead of us.

And also about 2 1/2 years
Of being in the same school.

I don't want things
To be weird between us.

Don't you think it would be good
To at least talk about this?

- okay.
- good.

- I'm gonna go first.
- right.

- it's still not working!
- well, you did something wrong.

I did the same thing

When I'm pulling up reservations
For the upcoming month.

You typed in the name?
You clicked on the april 5?

You double-clicked
On "Confirmation"?

I double-clicked!

- are you sure?
- yes. I double-clicked.

You clicked twice?

No, I double-clicked,
But I didn't click twice.

- you must click twice.
- I know.

Apparently not, or we wouldn't
Be having this conversation.

I'm gonna pinch you so hard
Right now.

I don't know
What you have done.

I can't fix it
If you don't move.

Ooh, what's that?

I do not know.

Ooh, it happened when
You pushed something funky.

I push nothing "Funky."

You have the funk,
My friend.

[ telephone rings ]

Independence inn.

I need the hatrack.

- the fish flies at night.
- what?

Who is this?

This is your mother.

Oh, I didn't recognize
Your voice.

I need the hatrack back --
The hatrack I gave you.

What hatrack?

The hatrack I gave you
For christmas.

Uh, well...

It's large, bronze,
With dragons or weasels --

Some sort of lizard-type animal
That you hang your coats on.

Yes, I remember it.

Thank god.
I need it back.

You need
A christmas present back?

- temporarily.
- why, mom?

I need it back because
Richard's mother gave it to us,

She'll notice
If it isn't there.

You gave me a used present?

No, we never used it.

- I can't believe it.
- you'll get it back.

You gave me
A secondhand present,

Like something you got
At the junk store.

You're being dramatic.
It was still in the crate.

You actually went, "What should
I get lorelai this year?

"You know what?
I can't be bothered.

Let's give her something
We don't want anymore."

You're not funny.

What would miss manners
Say about this?

If she met your grandmother,
She'd understand.

Please bring the rack with you
When you come tonight, okay?

- okay, sure.
- thank you.

You're welcome. Bye.

So, we're supposed to talk.

Yeah. Look,
About the other night.

I was upset over summer.

Yes, and I was upset
Over dean.

So, then it doesn't mean
Anything, right?

- right.
- so then that's it.

We just chalk it up
To a bad night.

Okay.

I'm sorry I cried.
- no problem.

I swear it had nothing
To do with the kiss.

I kissed you, you cried.

That had to have something
To do with it.

I cried
Because I was confused

And because I hadn't cried.

I didn't cry
Because of the kiss.

It was a nice kiss.

Very nice.
Not at all crying material.

Really?
Absolutely.

Want to try it again?

I think someone is recovering
From their heartbreak.

Yeah, I'm all better.

I think I'm gonna
Swear off girls for a while.

- ha!
- what?

Uh, sorry. Nothing.

You said you were going to
Swear off girls.

Don't think I can?

I just think
It would be hard for you.

It'd probably involve
Some kind of lockup facility

And one of those
Hannibal lecter masks.

Yes, it would be hard,
But not impossible.

Maybe it's not so much
Swearing off all girls,

But swearing off
A certain kind of girl.

Meaning?

Meaning next time

Maybe you should pick a girl
With a little more substance.

You know, a girl who's smart
And is driven

And has ambition.

You know, like paris.

- are you serious?
- yeah, why not?

Paris is smart and cute
And interesting,

Yes, she does bring
Her own set of baggage

Into the mix.

A matching set.

But she likes you.
She's crazy about you.

She thinks you're amazing.

- you want me to date paris?
- just think about it.

[ exhales loudly ]

Me and paris.

Louis, this is the beginning
Of a wonderful friendship.

Who's louis?

Just think.

Come on, let's go!

(rory)
Relax. I'm almost ready.

- we're gonna be late.
- no, we're not.

It's friday night, the traffic's
Bad on friday night.

- since when?
- the beginning of time.

- here, let me do it.
- what's up with you?

You've been bugging me
For almost an hour.

Usually I have to drag you
Out of here

You whine, you complain,
You act like a child.

I had to pay you once
So you wouldn't go in sweats.

Make your point

As we move quickly
To the front door.

You're mean.
I'm not mean.

You want to go to dinner
To see grandma uncomfortable.

Okay, look.

I will admit I work very hard,

And sometimes I am tired
Come friday night

For the gilmore family dinner,

But I had a light day today
And my grandmother,

Is gonna be there.

It has nothing to do with
The fact

- grandma hates great-grandma?
- not at all.

When you see grandma
Miserable and uncomfortable

You're gonna be sad
And sympathetic?

Not at all.

- mean.
- I am kidding.

- be nice.
- I will.

- no outward reveling.
- I promise.

Internal reveling only.

Okay, then we can go.

Okay, good.

Oh, wait.

So the internal reveling
Can continue for years to come.

- mean.
- ha!

[ chuckling ]

Mean, mean, mean.

God, this thing weighs, like,
A thousand pounds.

I know, here,
Put it down.

What are we doing?

Well, in case gran comes
To the door, you know?

Good thinking.

She's 80. The eyes
Have got to be gone, right?

Let's just try to keep her
Inside the house.

- do you have it?
- we got it.

Hurry up.
Bring it in here.

Okay, quiet.
Be quiet.

Mom, thanks for the direction
And all,

But, um, we need some help.

Careful, honey.

Watch it.
Watch your head.

Get it over there.

Okay, yes.
I think that was about --

It was more
On the left.

I should have put
Tape down.

You don't think
The coatrack could have moved

In five years?

Yeah, you're right.
Okay, put your coats on it.

How'd you get her in here
Without her noticing?

Through the back way

And I had stella wax the floors,
So that took up an hour.

- where is she now?
- in the living room,

Scratching the diamond pendant
I bought her against a mirror.

So we shouldn't
Keep her waiting, huh?

No, you're right,
We shouldn't.

Oh, heaven help me.

Stop.

Mom, look who's here.

- who?
- well, look.

If I wanted to look, I would.
I haven't looked,

Therefore, you must draw
Your own conclusions.

Ah, thank you, dear boy.

You're welcome, trix.

- trix?
- dad's pet name for gran.

Hi, gran.

Lorelai.

It's so good
To see you again.

(richard)
This is rory.

You haven't met her yet.

- no, I don't believe I have.
- hello.

Come. I want to get
A very good look at both of you.

They're tall.

Yes, they are.

How's your health?

Oh, good.
Very healthy.

Good, that means the majority
Of your blood is gilmore blood.

Gilmores don't get sick,
Am I right, richard?

No, we wouldn't dare, trix.

Your mother is always sick.

I am hardly always sick.

You're sick right now.

Headache.

You don't drink?

Uh, well...

Emily, get this woman
A drink.

I'll do it.

I'm going to get
The hors d'oeuvres.

- so, you're rory.
- yes, ma'am.

My son speaks of you constantly.
He seems very fond of you.

Well,
I'm very fond of him, too.

This little girl
Is as smart as a whip, mom.

She has a great deal
Of you in her.

Really? How nice.

- is this cheese?
- yes, it is.

Am I supposed to eat
That cheese?

Well, only if you like.

Emily, where are those
Spiced nuts that trix likes?

I'll get some.

So, lorelai...

You've grown up,
Gotten pregnant out of wedlock,

Raised a child,

And still haven't bothered
To get married.

Have I left anything out?

Well, some time in between
Growing up and getting pregnant,

I got my ears pierced.

I've always hated scandal.

However, I've always appreciated
Self-sufficiency.

How do you support
This child?

I run an inn.

Hard work?

- yes, it is.
- good.

Hard work is good for a woman --
Makes her stronger.

I admire people
Who enjoy hard work.

Here we go --
Spiced nuts.

I suppose I could just
Put these nuts in my hand.

I'll be right back.

So, gran, when was
The last time I saw you?

You were still in your teens,
Wild hair flying everywhere.

I see you've taken care of that.

Yes, I joined a support group,
Bought a hairbrush,

And just taking it
One day at a time.

That was a joke?

Yes, it is.

- very good.
- thank you.

I have dishes and napkins.

Richard,
I would like to be escorted

Into the dinning room now.

Well, uh, I'm not sure
That dinner's ready just yet.

Perhaps our presence in the
Dining room will teach your help

When one is told dinner is at
7:00, people expect it at 7:00

But it's only five after, mom!

Only five after?

Richard,
In the event that I'm kidnapped

And ransom is demanded
At a certain time,

I would prefer that emily not be
In charge of the drop-off.

Grandma,
This dinner's delicious.

Very good, young lady.

We all believed you.

Now, let's talk about
Your education.

- where are you attending?
- chilton.

Rory is in
The top 10% of her class.

We're very proud of rory.
She's going to harvard.

- harvard?!
- yes, ma'am

Richard, how can you allow that?

- now, trix --
- you're a yale man!

We want rory to be
Whatever kind of man she wants.

That's enough jokes
For this evening, lorelai.

Now,
If you don't mind my asking,

Chilton is rather
An expensive institution.

I'm curious
How the manager of an inn

Can afford such a luxury.

We're helping lorelai out.

We've seen to it that rory's
Education is taken care of.

It's temporary.
It's a loan.

I plan to pay them back
Every cent.

That's it.
I'm done.

Tomorrow, rory,
I shall plan the menu.

When you live in europe, you
Learn a thing or two about food.

Oh, I can't.
I'm studying tomorrow.

Our presentation's due
On monday.

Very well. Your mother
Can tell you about it.

I will.
I promise.

Won't you have dessert?

I once traveled to
A small village in cambodia.

I did not eat dessert there,
Either.

What time is it?

It's almost 9:00.

Maybe I'll own a magazine
Someday.

Then I'll get
All my nail polish free.

I'm going back to sleep.
Tell paris I hate her.

Okay.

Hi.

Hey, paris,
Louise hates you.

You'll thank me when you
Get into sarah lawrence.

Wanna bet?

Wow, did you bring coffee?

And doughnuts
In the shape of clowns.

Hey, they've got hats.

A clown just isn't a clown
Without a hat.

Here is your decaf
With soy milk.

Thanks.

I read your doctrine, I think
We're off to a good start.

Yeah?

The taxes are high,

And the landowners' power
Should be regulated more.

It was a different time
Back then.

But the fundamental human needs
Were the same.

Ding, ding, ding.

No debating
Until I've had coffee.

And a clown?

- ladies.
- hi, tristin.

Paris, can I talk to you
For a sec?

Oh, sure. Okay.

And that is about what,
Pray tell?

I don't know.
The project, maybe?

They could have talked
Project here.

It's something else,
Something private.

Scandal.

Maybe, though it is paris.

Scandal lite.

All the taste,
But fewer calories.

We could spy.

Or you could wait to see
If she wants us to know.

Those who simply wait
For information to find them

Spend a lot of time
Sitting by the phone.

Those who find it themselves
Have something to say.

Nietzsche?
Dawson.

My next guess.

So, what was with
The confab in the hallway?

We're dying.

Well, tristin,
He...Asked me out.

No!

My, my, my.

Wow, this is amazing.
God, I'm jealous.

Don't leave out anything.

We want every comma,
Apostrophe, and ampersand.

Well, he just asked me out.

- when?
- tonight.

Hmm.

What?

Nothing.

No, you "Hmm"Ed. Why?

Forget it.

Louise, tell me why.

He asked you out
For tonight.

Less than 24-hours notice.

So? What does that mean?

Usually that someone else
Canceled.

Or maybe he just got up
The nerve to ask her out.

This is so amazing. You are
So far from tristin's type.

So, so far.

Tristin usually likes
His girls bad.

We're going to have to do
A pink lady's makeover on you.

We'll turn you into
A slutty sandy

In high heels, black spandex,
And permed hair.

- you can borrow my water bra.
- excuse me?

It's a padded bra,

But it's filled with some sort
Of liquid so it moves.

It moves?

- on its own?
- it makes you look natural.

Great, thanks,
But I'll pass.

Everybody, come on.
Let's get to work.

I think you're gonna have
A really great time.

Yeah, well,
It's just a date, right?

Okay, focus, people.

Hi!

Five minute talking break
While I change.

My day --
Big leak, 3rd floor,

Lots of things going "Squish"
That should not be squishing.

Michel is no help.

Now I'm late for dinner --
I'm bummed you're not coming.

- which one -- blue, black?
- black.

- are you sure you can't come?
- yeah.

If I'm not prepared, paris is
Gonna send me to the tower.

If things go well tonight,
It'll help tomorrow.

- tonight?
- she's going on a date.

- how'd that happen?
- I did a little matchmaking.

[imitating ricky ricardo]
I told you not to butt into
Other people's business?!

Never.
Good. Go on.

I want details tomorrow.
How do I look?

Beautiful.

My five minutes are up.

Let's go!

There is money
On the kitchen table,

And there's really good
Chocolate cake

I defrosted for you.

Call me if you need me.
I'll be home early.

Don't be mean to grandma.

Yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm gone.

- bye!
- bye.

[ knock on door ]

- I don't know what to wear.
- ever?

On my date with tristin.

I don't haunt the boutiques
Hoping to find

That one fabulous little top.

I study, I think about studying,
Then I study some more.

- want to come in?
- I only have one lipstick,

And it's barely even
A color.

It looks like
You're not wearing anything,

Which is why I liked it. But to
Date, you need the fabulous top

And a lipstick you can
Actually tell you're wearing.

Do you wanna put that down?

You said once I could talk
To you if I needed anything.

- can I ask you a question?
- okay.

Why didn't you go
To madeline or louise?

They seem to get that
"Fabulous little top" thing.

The supportive
"You're going to be fine

And not throw up 12 times"
Thing, they don't.

Okay.
Let's see what you've got.

I brought everything in case
There was hidden potential

In something
I didn't see.

Well, you'd be
One well-dressed widow.

- forget it. I'm not going.
- yes, you are. Come on.

- this is your wardrobe?
- yes.

Nothing's left at home?

Nothing but my chilton uniform
And my bat mitzvah dress,

Which has menorahs
On the collar.

- come on.
- where are you going?

To our one-stop
Shopping store.

- this is your mother's room?
- yes, it is.

- I can't wear her clothes.
- yes, you can.

What about this?

My mother says pink
Makes my head look small.

Okay. No pink.

This whole thing
Is so insane.

Tristin asking me out?
Why would he do that?

Why not?

He's gorgeous
And only dates

Those most likely to become
A trophy wife.

He's not gonna have to read
The menu to you

Or explain
That the dancing trash bins

In the movie theater previews
Aren't real.

It's gonna be
Much less stressful.

All these years
I've hoped this would happen,

And now it has, and I feel...
I don't know.

I don't have a lot of experience
In the dating department.

If you can't put it on your
Transcript, what's the point?

I know.

Before dean,
I'd never had a boyfriend,

Or a kiss.

I never even thought about
Dating.

- then you met dean.
- yeah.

And he was so special
And nice

And made me
Completely nauseous.

The best ones do.

I couldn't even talk
Around him.

I saw you at the dance.

You didn't seem to have
Any trouble talking

Or gazing annoyingly
Into each other's eyes.

But that was after
We'd been dating a little.

After we started going out
And spending time together,

It kind of got easier.

And then by the third date,
Everything was perfect.

Do you miss him a lot?

Yeah. A lot a lot.

Sorry.

Thanks.

But tonight is not about me.

Tonight is about you going out
With tristin in this outfit.

- what do you think?
- it's...Okay.

- it's great.
- put it on.

- are you sure?
- yeah.

Bathroom's down the hall,

And I'll get you a lipstick
With some actual color in it.

Uh, paris,

What are these cards for?

Oh, yeah.
Those are notes for tonight.

Notes?

Yeah, just
Some reference points --

Subjects to bring up
In case the conversation lags.

Can I suggest
That you leave this one

About the spanish inquisition
Out?

- it's not very romantic.
- not really.

Okay, I'm dressed.

How's it look?
Bad.

I don't really trust
Your opinion on that.

Come out here, please.

Fine, but it looks bad.

- you look great!
- I feel weird.

Then weird works for you.
You look amazing.

Really? You're not
Just saying that?

- I swear to god.
- are you atheist?

That affects the validity
Of your swearing to god.

I wouldn't tell you you did
If you didn't.

If you think
It looks okay.

The word "Amazing" was used.

I'll wear it. Thanks.

Anytime.

- I have to go.
- lipstick.

You're gonna hold this evening
Over my head

For the rest of my life,
Aren't you?

- probably.
- bye.

[ clears throat ]

What did you think
About the rabbit?

Oh, I thought
It was wonderful.

I brought it with me.

- excuse me?
- from london.

London has the best game.

You brought it with you
From london?

Did you get it a seat?

Dry ice.

Wow! That's inventive.

Well, it looks like
We're finished here, no?

Let's retire to the living room
For a brandy.

Yes.

Lorelai, walk with me.

I have something
That I want to discuss with you.

I've been thinking about
Something I heard.

What was that?

That you borrowed money from
Your parents for rory's school.

If you're worried about them
Getting the money back --

You know,
Shakespeare once wrote,

"Neither a borrower
Nor a lender be."

Do you consider shakespeare
A wise man?

Um, sure. Yeah.

We certainly don't mind
Loaning lorelai the money,

If that's
What you're worried about.

Certainly not. Rory is
First priority in this house.

I'm not concerned about
Whether you mind or not.

Loaning money
Is a dirty business.

It's distasteful,
And I don't care for it.

As you know,

I came into town to check up
On the family investments

And to talk with our lawyers.

I have some things
To put in order,

And one of them is setting up
A trust fund for rory.

Wh-- that's amazing.
Really?

Now, normally I would set up
A fund

So that she would have access
To it when she turns 25.

However,
Considering the situation,

If you like, I will arrange
For her to get it now.

- now?
- now?

That way, she can use it
To pay for chilton.

Oh, gran, I don't --
I don't know what to say.

That's --
That's so generous of you.

My mother
Is a very special woman.

You talk about me
Like I'm dead.

You're never going to die!
You're too stubborn!

Gran, this is --
I-I don't know what to say.

Nothing now
Would be preferable.

I have arranged for you
And your mother and I

To have tea tomorrow
Before I leave.

Say it then.

Good night, emily.

Good night.

Well, I'll just,
Uh, walk mother upstairs

And be right back.

Wow! That was quite a bomb
She just dropped.

It certainly was.

Um, I guess
I should be going.

Thanks for dinner, mom.
I'll see you tomorrow.

Lorelai...

You're not honestly considering
Accepting that money?

Um, yeah,
Of course I'm considering it.

I don't think
That's very wise.

She's young, she won't a thing
Know about managing that money.

Well, I'll help her.

You don't know the first thing
About managing money, either.

I'm very familiar
With the second thing.

You're the one
Who brags about

How special your relationship
With rory is.

I'm stunned
That you want to jeopardize it.

What are you
Talking about?

We both know that
That money means freedom.

If rory has that money,
She won't need you anymore.

There's still a couple of ways
I might come in handy --

Buying the beer,
That kind of stuff.

Well, I'm glad you think losing
Your daughter is so funny.

She won't need you
To pay for anything.

Everything in a relationship
Isn't about money.

- she'll move out.
- so what?

She won't need you to help her
Through college, buy a car

Okay,
Say goodbye to dad for me

As soon as the voices
In your head subside.

Why should she wait to backpack
Across europe with you?

She can afford to go herself,
Or take a friend or a boyfriend.

Well, she wants to go
With me.

Now she does.
She doesn't have options.

But the minute
You give her options...

Okay, that's it.

You're nuts, and I'm going --
In that order.

It's terrible
Not to be needed.

You'll see.

* has buried you... *

- that is amazing!
- I know.

One minute, it's
"Pass the pot roast,"

The next, it's
"Hey, have a pile of money."

- what did rory say?
- I haven't told her yet.

- what?
- she was asleep.

For that much money,
You wake her up!

You hire singing telegrams!
Women jump out of cakes!

People dress up like bankers

Dance around
With those toasters.

She's been working all week
On this chilton papers,

So I let her sleep,
And I'll tell her tonight.

Call her now.

Page her and have her call
My cellphone,

We'll sing the money song
From "Cabaret."

You can be liza,
I'll be joel.

I don't want to bother her
At school.

I can never decide.
Carnations -- tacky or retro?

You don't want
To tell her.

Yeah, I do.
I think.

Oh. Well, I understand
The hesitation.

- you do?
- absolutely.

Who wants to be the bearer
Of good news?

All that hugging
And happiness -- nightmare.

I was thrilled
When gran told me about it,

- I was gonna tell her.
- but?

My mother cornered me,

Saying all this stuff about
How when rory gets the money,

She's not gonna need me,
And she's gonna move out sooner.

- what? That's crazy.
- I know, and yet...

Honey, come on.

The woman's just trying to mess
With your mind.

She doesn't want
To lose control of you.

She wants you
Permanently obligated to her.

I know that.

You don't believe what she said,
Do you?

I don't know.
You're right --

She wants to mess with my mind
And make me feel obligated,

But what if the money
Does change our relationship?

Impossible.

Anything's possible.

I couldn't stand that.

I like things
The way they are now.

This is rory
We're talking about.

She's the most unmaterialistic
Kid in the world.

It's not about
What she would buy.

I don't care if she buys
A house or a boat

Or...
The elephant man's bones.

It's just that --

You know,
It's about the freedom.

If I had access
To all that money as a kid,

I would've left the house
So fast.

- faster than 17?
- no, I mean --

God, I know this is crazy!

I have my mother's voice
Stuck in my head.

Like that cranberries song.

I hate
That I let her get to me!

Then don't let her!
Call rory and tell her.

You'll see that nothing
Will be any different.

I don't want her to go
To europe without me.

She's not gonna go without you.
I promise.

- I've got to go home.
- why? What are you doing?

I have to go to tea with gran
And the cast of "Gaslight."

Wow. [ laughs ]
I'll see you later.

(richard)
'you're hysterical.'

I can't talk to you
When you're hysterical.

I am tired of fighting
About this.

You have to get her
To take that offer back.

No.

I have put up with a lot
From this woman...

...But this time,
She has gone too far!

Emily, please.
I can go louder!

If I do as you ask,
I'll be insulting my mother.

I will not do that.

I don't care if she demeans me
And looks down on me.

I don't care if she thinks
I've tarnished the gilmore name.

I don't care if she thinks
I'm the whore of babylon.

I've long ago
Given up any hope

Of getting into
Her psychotic good graces,

But that woman is horrible
And selfish.

She cannot get away with this.
I won't let her.

This is my mother
You're talking about.

Yes, it is.
Your mother --

The one who stepped in
Without being asked

And single-handedly wrecked
Everything!

Emily...

What is this about?

She'll never come back here,
You know.

Who? Mother?

- of course she will. She--
- lorelai.

What?

If she gets that money,

Lorelai will never
Come back here.

She won't have to.

I've ordered a car.

Women shouldn't drive.
Are you ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

I shall die soon, you know.

Well, aren't we early?

Trying to suck up
To parliament?

Hey, how'd it go
Last night?

- it went.
- it went well?

Well, he picked me up,
We went to dinner and a movie,

I didn't use my notecards once,
And he kissed me good night.

Paris, I'm so glad!

It was a great kiss.

See? All that nervousness
For nothing.

Yeah. God, this is so weird.
I can't stop smiling.

Then it's the perfect time

To talk about
Our overtaxed peasants.

Oh, let them eat cake.

Hey.

Don't look at me.
I didn't kiss you.

- hi.
- hey.

I just wanted to tell you that
I had so much fun last night.

After five messages
On my answering machine,

I kind of got
That impression.

- too much, sorry.
- no, it was cute.

Maybe we could do it again
Sometime.

A different movie, of course,
But the same basic plan.

- absolutely.
- great.

Because it was really fun.

We should do it again.
I mean, as friends.

Oh...Yeah, as friends.

You noticed it, too, right?

That we're more friends material
Than dating material?

Yes, I did notice.

I have excellent
Deductive skills.

But I'm glad we did it.

Oh, sure.

When rory first suggested
Us going out,

I thought the idea was crazy,
But she made some good points.

We do have a history,
And you never know, right?

Yes...You never know.

Okay, so we're done here,
Right?

- uh, sure.
- great. Excuse me.

- what?
- it was your idea?

So I get all your castoffs now?!
I'm just that pathetic?!

"I don't want them.
Maybe I can con the suckers

Into taking out paris
The loser"!

I am not
Your charity case!

No, it's not like that,
I swear.

I-I just thought you guys
Would make a good couple.

We did -- for one night!

But we're more suited
To being friends!

That's what was conveyed
So humiliatingly to me!

Paris, I'm sorry --
I hate you!

You told her?

I didn't know
It was a secret.

Why would you tell her?
What is wrong with you?

We tried,
It didn't work out.

It's a huge deal to paris,
And one date is not trying.

Rory --
You said you'd try!

I'm sorry, but is it better
That I keep dating her

Even though I like
Somebody else?

Oh.
Yeah.

I didn't realize.

So...You're still not over
Summer, huh?

Yeah, I'm not over summer
Yet.

Hi.

Hello.

Where's gran?

Torturing the
Bathroom attendant, I suppose.

Ah.

So, um, this place
Seems...Clean.

Yes, it's famous
For its cleanliness.

So, what did rory say
When you told her?

She must've been
Very excited.

Yes, she was.
Rose tea. [ chuckles ]

That's funny.
That's not really tea, is it?

It's, like,
Rose petals in hot water.

More like
A bad floral arrangement.

What did rory say?
Fill me in.

- she was happy.
- happy.

Yeah -- she screamed,
She did that air-lasso thing.

Lorelai, be serious.

She was asleep when I got home,
So I couldn't tell her.

She doesn't know?

No.

Well...Something I said

Must've really struck a chord
With you.

Excuse me?

You didn't tell her.
You must've had a reason.

She was asleep.

The only thing I can think of
Is you must have reconsidered.

I didn't reconsider.

Yesterday, you could hardly wait
To get home

To announce your great fortune
To her.

Yes, well,
It's a little weird.

You haven't told her
That she has her own money

To put herself through school
And go to europe --

This is just like you --

To take something great and
Twist it into something ugly.

What is wrong with you?

There's nothing wrong
With me.

Yes, there's something
Seriously wrong with you.

I respect the decision
That you make.

I made no decision.

Whatever you say.

Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna call her,

And, uh,
Tell her right now.

No, you're not.

Yes, in fact, I am.

What are you doing?

The reception sucks
In here.

Stop it. You look like
You're having a fit.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go find
A pay phone.

Your grandmother will be back
Any second.

- just have a sandwich.
- have a sandwich?

That's what you have
To say to me?

- what do you want me to say?
- that you are sorry

You tried to talk me out of
Taking this money.

That you realize you were being
Petty and controlling and mean,

And that you know
No amount of money

Can change the relationship
Rory and I have -- say that.

I will not.

Say it or I'm finding
A pay phone.

Lorelai...You're here.

Hi, gran!

Have you ordered
The tea yet?

No, not yet.

Good, because I'm afraid

I'm going to have to take
My leave of you

A little earlier
Than I anticipated.

Why?

My train leaves tonight,

And I have a little packing
To do.

I can help you.

Plus, I really don't wish
To witness

Any more of this ugly fight
You two seem to be having.

Raising your voice
During high tea --

Whoever heard of such a thing?

It's like fergie all over again.

Oh, gran, please.
I'm so sorry.

We're done.
Please don't leave.

I can see now that offering
The trust fund was a bad idea.

Taking into account the maturity
Level of those involved,

This large amount of money
Would probably not be safe.

No, gran,
That isn't true.

Rory is
An incredibly mature kid.

Oh, I'm sure she is.
It's you I'm worried about.

And I'm sure she gets it
From you.

Tell rory goodbye for me.

You two are welcome to visit me
In london anytime.

Emily, please get my coat.

I will meet you outside.

- well...You won.
- I did not win.

You didn't want me to take
The money,

I'm not taking the money.

That's called winning.

- I'm sorry.
- no, you're not.

Well...

Yes, I am.

Forget it, mom.

It's no big deal.

No, it is a big deal.

Here rory had
This wonderful opportunity,

And we -- and I...

- maybe I can talk to her.
- oh, yes, that'll work.

Well, I'll go
To your father.

Mom...
He can talk to her.

He can fix it.
I'll make him fix it.

[ groans ]
Damn reception.

I'll go to a pay phone.

Mom, stay here.
But chilton --

Rory can still go unless
You're rethinking our agreement.

No, not at all.
I am not rethinking anything.

Okay, then we're good.

Are you sure?

We're good.

Well...I'd better go out there
Before she leaves me here.

I'm sure you'll be sorry
To see her go.

I don't know what I'll do
With myself.

We'll see you friday?

See you friday.

- hey, mom?
- yes?

Can I ask you one favor?
Anything at all.

Don't make us take
The coatrack back.

Deal.

- hi.
- hey.

Here.
Thanks.

I thought you were gonna have
Tea today.

We did. Finished early.

Once you're done
With those little sandwiches,

There's no reason to pretend
You like tea anymore.

I totally understand.

Listen, there's something
I have to tell you.

What?

I loaned paris
Your black mini,

And there's a good chance
You may never see it again.

Oh, well, there's something
I have to tell you.

You lost out on
$250,000 today.

What?

* la-la la *

* la-la la-a-a *

* la-la la-a-ah-a-ah *

* la-la-la la-ah-ah-ah-ah *