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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,152 You're early. 2 00:01:02,803 --> 00:01:07,803 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 3 00:01:08,262 --> 00:01:10,233 Sorry you had to see that. 4 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,238 So are we. 5 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:15,075 Jim, this is the living room. 6 00:01:15,116 --> 00:01:16,409 Why were your pants down? 7 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,829 Because the pain isn't in my pants. 8 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:19,634 It's in my glute. 9 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:22,082 Jim has always had glute issues, 10 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:24,042 and, oh, how I've missed them. 11 00:01:24,844 --> 00:01:26,424 Glute issues come from tension. 12 00:01:26,435 --> 00:01:27,660 I don't have tension. 13 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:28,922 You don't have tension yet. 14 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,090 But you're marrying Julia, 15 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,257 so keep one of those in every room. 16 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,041 - I don't have tension. - You're asymptomatic, 17 00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:36,220 but you give it to other people. 18 00:01:38,111 --> 00:01:39,278 Where are the kids, by the way? 19 00:01:39,338 --> 00:01:40,464 I left them in the woods with some bread. 20 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:42,143 That was three days ago. 21 00:01:44,363 --> 00:01:46,523 Jimmy's playing video games, and Grace is on TikTok 22 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,483 watching hamsters get married. 23 00:01:49,737 --> 00:01:52,981 And our children's futures grow brighter by the moment. 24 00:01:52,992 --> 00:01:54,368 Yeah, item one, Jimmy's school 25 00:01:54,645 --> 00:01:56,480 gave the kids a career aptitude test, 26 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,552 and it said he should be an evangelist. 27 00:01:58,563 --> 00:02:00,023 - Jesus. - Exactly. 28 00:02:01,305 --> 00:02:03,665 He seems excited about it, so that's good. 29 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:06,418 Although personally, I think those tests are deeply flawed. 30 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,711 I remember my test. 31 00:02:07,722 --> 00:02:09,140 It said I should run for governor someday. 32 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,131 Mine said I should map the human genome. 33 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:13,758 What about yours, Jim? What'd it say? 34 00:02:13,769 --> 00:02:15,270 Doesn't matter. 35 00:02:15,675 --> 00:02:17,345 Come on. 36 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,066 It doesn't... 37 00:02:19,881 --> 00:02:21,266 cranberry farmer. 38 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,769 Oh, come on. 39 00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:26,240 I was an 11-year-old boy. 40 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,981 I just happened to have a bladder infection. 41 00:02:28,023 --> 00:02:29,051 - No. - Hey. 42 00:02:29,062 --> 00:02:30,563 Yes, boys can get them. 43 00:02:30,832 --> 00:02:32,766 Boys have bladders, and they get infected. 44 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,237 Whatever. It's fine. 45 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,405 It's fine. 46 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:36,990 Okay, item number two. 47 00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:38,919 As you know, it is Grace's 14th birthday tomorrow, 48 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,910 so I booked our special booth at Stornelli's. 49 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,163 Trey, you're gonna love this place. 50 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,331 Family style, spaghetti and meatballs, 51 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,167 big portions, bottomless bread basket. 52 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,376 And it is my treat. 53 00:02:48,562 --> 00:02:49,980 No arguments, okay? 54 00:02:49,991 --> 00:02:52,869 So come hungry and leave that big wallet at home. 55 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,010 Actually, this year, we have an upgrade. 56 00:02:57,728 --> 00:02:59,063 - An upgrade? - Tell him. 57 00:02:59,074 --> 00:03:00,679 I got us into Takane. 58 00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:01,754 Isn't that fantastic? 59 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:04,726 Oh, my God, that is so fa... what is Takane? 60 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:09,105 A new sushi place that no one can get into. 61 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,732 No one? How are they in business? 62 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,360 Well, no one but Trey. 63 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:14,527 He made a call. 64 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:16,321 I was happy to do it for you. 65 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,573 And for you, but most of all, for Grace. 66 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,450 And of course, it'll be my treat. 67 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:21,983 Thank you, my love. 68 00:03:22,129 --> 00:03:23,339 Yes, thank you, her love. 69 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,933 But, Trey... 70 00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:27,946 and I don't blame you for this, because clearly, 71 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:30,166 Julia did not tell you. She's very busy. 72 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,838 The Kearney family always has birthdays at Stornelli's. 73 00:03:34,032 --> 00:03:36,451 Our pictures are on the wall, for God's sakes. 74 00:03:36,744 --> 00:03:38,679 Jim, this is Takane. 75 00:03:38,690 --> 00:03:40,312 I "understand-ay." 76 00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,515 Grace will love it. 77 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,933 She's always been a foodie. 78 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:46,559 Even all the way back in her nursing days, 79 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:49,270 she strictly preferred the left breast to the right. 80 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,356 I go back and forth. 81 00:03:52,425 --> 00:03:53,825 Yes, you do. 82 00:03:53,836 --> 00:03:55,349 Hey, hey, I'm right here. 83 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,571 Okay, so did Grace actually tell you 84 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,082 she doesn't want to go to Stornelli's anymore? 85 00:04:00,093 --> 00:04:01,720 She didn't have to tell me. I know. 86 00:04:01,731 --> 00:04:02,773 You don't know what Grace knows, 87 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,018 and you know you don't know. 88 00:04:04,029 --> 00:04:06,031 And I know you know you don't know. 89 00:04:06,209 --> 00:04:07,673 - We're going to Stornelli's. - Takane. 90 00:04:07,684 --> 00:04:08,725 - Stornelli's. - Jim. 91 00:04:08,736 --> 00:04:10,113 - Julia. - Trey. 92 00:04:18,977 --> 00:04:21,917 Now, when Julia and I carefully and painstakingly 93 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,763 mapped out our post-divorce life, 94 00:04:23,774 --> 00:04:25,859 we may have failed to consider a few tiny things. 95 00:04:25,870 --> 00:04:29,332 Like birthdays, graduations, vacations, first communions, 96 00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:31,385 baptisms, Mother's Day, Father's Day, 97 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:32,550 Labor Day, Arbor Day. 98 00:04:32,561 --> 00:04:34,480 Okay, now you're just naming days. 99 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,557 So there we were, on our first major occasion, 100 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:37,819 at an unpredictable impasse. 101 00:04:37,892 --> 00:04:39,351 It was completely predictable. 102 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,572 People have birthdays every year. 103 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,240 Or like Julia, every three years. 104 00:04:42,251 --> 00:04:43,502 That's true. 105 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,568 So smart people would have said, 106 00:04:45,579 --> 00:04:47,370 - "Hey, let's take a breath." - "Let's think it through." 107 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,039 "Let's figure this out like mature adults." 108 00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:50,218 But that's not who we are. 109 00:04:50,229 --> 00:04:51,981 We are the Kearneys. 110 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,077 How could you say yes to Takane without even consulting me? 111 00:04:57,287 --> 00:04:58,942 Because I thought you'd be thrilled. 112 00:04:58,953 --> 00:05:00,372 Every time we go to Stornelli's, 113 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,344 the meatballs give you diarrhea. 114 00:05:02,805 --> 00:05:05,847 Yes, but it's diarrhea by choice. 115 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,641 A personal sacrifice I make in the name of parenthood. 116 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,852 A hill I both create and die on. 117 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,937 You're welcome. 118 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:16,266 Can you imagine a woman would ever tire of this man? 119 00:05:19,002 --> 00:05:20,445 Jim, I am sorry. 120 00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:22,081 I should have consulted you. 121 00:05:22,092 --> 00:05:23,802 No! You didn't do anything wrong. 122 00:05:23,813 --> 00:05:25,439 All you did was make a birthday plan 123 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,077 for his daughter, your soon-to-be stepdaughter, 124 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,337 without asking him. 125 00:05:28,348 --> 00:05:30,580 - You didn't say I had to ask him. - I didn't think we had to ask him. 126 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,593 Well, you had to ask him. 127 00:05:32,705 --> 00:05:35,458 Okay, Jim, can we take Grace to Takane? 128 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:36,789 No. 129 00:05:37,883 --> 00:05:40,117 This is ridiculous. 130 00:05:40,128 --> 00:05:43,089 This man, this generous man, 131 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,303 calls in a giant favor for our Grace, 132 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,097 and all you can do is swat it away? 133 00:05:47,108 --> 00:05:48,860 How do you sleep at night? 134 00:05:48,871 --> 00:05:50,245 I close my eyes. 135 00:05:50,256 --> 00:05:51,309 Sometimes I... 136 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,103 You know what I mean. 137 00:05:53,284 --> 00:05:54,953 Ah! Ah! Give me that thing. 138 00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:55,988 Ah! 139 00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:58,108 Look, I'm sure Takane is great, 140 00:05:58,119 --> 00:06:00,277 and I'm not saying I enjoy the diarrhea. 141 00:06:00,288 --> 00:06:01,998 It would worry me if you did. 142 00:06:02,131 --> 00:06:04,300 But we are talking about tradition here. 143 00:06:04,311 --> 00:06:06,652 And in this family, our birthday tradition 144 00:06:06,663 --> 00:06:08,122 is we dine at Stornelli's, 145 00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:10,010 and then I go home and uncork my bowels. 146 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,623 The hell kind of tradition is that? 147 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:14,916 That's the worst thing I've ever heard. 148 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,501 I don't even know what to say anymore. 149 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,004 What kind of conversation is this? 150 00:06:19,137 --> 00:06:22,068 The kind of conversation you can only have with Jim Kearney. 151 00:06:22,079 --> 00:06:23,914 - I overstepped. - We should go with Jim's plan. 152 00:06:23,955 --> 00:06:26,261 Well, I think Jim's overstepped, and we should go with your plan. 153 00:06:26,272 --> 00:06:28,007 Well, I think you overstepped, and we should go with my plan. 154 00:06:28,018 --> 00:06:30,716 And that makes one vote for Takane and two votes for Stornelli's. 155 00:06:30,727 --> 00:06:32,908 Stornelli's it is. Prepare the toilets! 156 00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:37,011 Oh, oh, oh, no, no, not so fast, big guy. 157 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,356 I think we should let Grace decide. 158 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,817 Mm. Great idea. 159 00:06:39,828 --> 00:06:41,622 We'll force our daughter to choose between her parents, 160 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,069 and then for her birthday present, 161 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,238 we'll get her a big box of therapy. 162 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,948 This is bad. 163 00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:48,272 Can I just ask, 164 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,909 how do they never notice the phone? 165 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,202 Shh! 166 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,163 If my career test was right, 167 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,706 these people are my flock. 168 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:57,083 But goodness gracious, do they need help. 169 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,836 Whatever Grace decides, 170 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,756 we will all accept it with a smile. 171 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,758 Why is Mom vibrating? 172 00:07:04,769 --> 00:07:06,688 Trey, you have hijacked my daughter's birthday. 173 00:07:06,699 --> 00:07:08,397 You are a daughter's birthday hijacker. 174 00:07:08,408 --> 00:07:10,085 I thought I was doing a nice thing. 175 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,098 Do you have any idea how many tragic stories 176 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,391 have started with those seven words? 177 00:07:13,549 --> 00:07:14,689 Eight words. 178 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,370 Ugh, fine. It'll be all up to Grace. 179 00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:20,357 No matter what I choose, I'll be disappointing somebody. 180 00:07:20,428 --> 00:07:22,806 Well, it's your own fault for having a birthday 181 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:24,611 so soon after the divorce. 182 00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,237 That's a stupid thing to say. 183 00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:29,157 What do you want? My dad was a cranberry farmer. 184 00:07:30,857 --> 00:07:32,577 I wish I knew what to do. 185 00:07:32,588 --> 00:07:34,038 - Pray with me. - Stop it. 186 00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:38,186 - Oh, Takane has a website. - Stornelli's doesn't. 187 00:07:38,197 --> 00:07:40,919 Well, if it did, it would redirect to Poison Control. 188 00:07:41,541 --> 00:07:44,589 Oh, but Takane looks incredible. 189 00:07:46,528 --> 00:07:47,779 Okay, decision made. 190 00:07:47,790 --> 00:07:49,291 We're going to Takane. 191 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,388 - Dad's gonna be crushed. - Uh, don't worry. 192 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,139 I have a plan. 193 00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:55,152 The Lord does too. 194 00:07:55,418 --> 00:07:56,715 What's yours? 195 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:58,645 I'm not telling you, in case it doesn't work. 196 00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,022 Well, that's not very reassuring. 197 00:08:01,277 --> 00:08:04,030 You know, for a preacher, you don't have much faith. 198 00:08:05,244 --> 00:08:06,778 I had to break the news to Dad. 199 00:08:06,851 --> 00:08:09,061 He took it pretty well, considering. 200 00:08:09,327 --> 00:08:10,456 Yeah. 201 00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:11,827 Takane. 202 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,827 Great, Grace. 203 00:08:14,313 --> 00:08:16,246 Well, anyway, he took it. 204 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:17,492 That was the easy part. 205 00:08:17,503 --> 00:08:19,226 The real test has yet to come. 206 00:08:24,849 --> 00:08:26,095 You know what? 207 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,524 - This place feels right. - Mm. 208 00:08:27,535 --> 00:08:29,753 Even the fish in the tank look happy to be here. 209 00:08:30,039 --> 00:08:31,469 And they're gonna be dead in 20 minutes. 210 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,929 Oh, not those bad boys. 211 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,181 Those are koi, the jewel of the water. 212 00:08:35,367 --> 00:08:37,142 $20,000 each. 213 00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,019 To be worth $20,000, 214 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,520 a fish would have to play the banjo. 215 00:08:41,858 --> 00:08:44,001 Dad, are you sure you're happy we came here? 216 00:08:44,012 --> 00:08:46,056 Does the Pope crap in the woods? 217 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,695 Don't talk about my boss like that. 218 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,865 No, I'm happy. 219 00:08:50,876 --> 00:08:51,876 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 220 00:08:51,887 --> 00:08:52,896 'Cause you're tapping your lips like 221 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,117 you want to say something, 222 00:08:54,128 --> 00:08:55,659 but you can't let it out. 223 00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:56,870 Oh, no, I'm simply 224 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,788 preparing my lips to receive fish. 225 00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,457 Summon the waiter. My lips are ready. 226 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,125 Oh, there'll be no ordering. 227 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,836 The chef decides the whole meal, start to finish. 228 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,004 Wait, what if I don't like it? 229 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,797 Then the Lord will smite you. 230 00:09:08,307 --> 00:09:10,087 - Ooh. - Oh. 231 00:09:10,098 --> 00:09:11,194 Oh, my God. 232 00:09:11,205 --> 00:09:13,040 This is the uni with dandelion. 233 00:09:13,426 --> 00:09:16,033 Oh. A little on the petite side. 234 00:09:16,754 --> 00:09:18,214 The better to be delectable. 235 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:19,236 Uh-huh. 236 00:09:19,247 --> 00:09:21,541 Does uni have a big brother? 237 00:09:21,782 --> 00:09:23,772 - You're gonna love it, Jim. - Okay. 238 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,440 Come here there, little tyke. 239 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,983 Let's see what all the fuss is about 240 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,694 and if the mortgage-like prices are justified 241 00:09:29,705 --> 00:09:31,904 by the flavor of this itty-bitty, little... 242 00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:33,198 oh, dear glory. 243 00:09:33,209 --> 00:09:34,586 That is the best thing I've ever tasted. 244 00:09:36,003 --> 00:09:38,464 And now we know why Jesus multiplied the fish. 245 00:09:40,056 --> 00:09:41,683 Why don't we go look at the koi? 246 00:09:41,694 --> 00:09:44,542 I need more food first, or I won't survive the journey. 247 00:09:44,553 --> 00:09:46,680 Okay, well, why don't we go look at the koi, 248 00:09:46,691 --> 00:09:48,484 and we can give the adults a chance to talk? 249 00:09:48,501 --> 00:09:49,949 I can see them from here. 250 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,814 - You done with your dandelion? - Why don't we go look at... 251 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:53,123 Look at the koi. 252 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,636 Oh, I get it now. 253 00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:55,814 Ow, ow! 254 00:09:55,825 --> 00:09:57,660 Grace, Grace, easy on his ear. 255 00:09:57,870 --> 00:10:00,309 Jim, I gotta say, I am so happy 256 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,768 that you're enjoying this meal. 257 00:10:01,779 --> 00:10:03,864 Anybody with a mouth would enjoy the meal. 258 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,376 That was never the issue. 259 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:07,691 I know. The issue was about not being consulted, 260 00:10:07,702 --> 00:10:08,980 and I am sorry about that. 261 00:10:08,991 --> 00:10:10,855 No, that wasn't the issue. 262 00:10:10,866 --> 00:10:12,612 - That wasn't the issue? - Oh, I know. 263 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,155 The issue was about changing tradition. 264 00:10:14,305 --> 00:10:16,199 Yeah, that wasn't the issue, either. 265 00:10:16,293 --> 00:10:18,175 Oh. It wasn't? 266 00:10:18,186 --> 00:10:19,994 Well, it was part of the issue, but it wasn't the issue. 267 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:21,287 Okay, Jim, well, what was the issue? 268 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,997 Because the restaurant closes at midnight. 269 00:10:23,602 --> 00:10:24,874 Ah. No need to talk about it. 270 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,292 I gotta go to the men's room. 271 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,738 This place seems like the kind of place 272 00:10:27,749 --> 00:10:29,180 that would have a large tip jar in there. 273 00:10:29,191 --> 00:10:30,547 What's the standard gratuity, Trey? 274 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,382 About 4 grand? 275 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:35,260 Like many of us, Jim has issues discussing his issues. 276 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,179 Oh, no, I have no such issues, or issue issues. 277 00:10:38,251 --> 00:10:40,879 I'm so glad, because we are all a family now. 278 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,226 That's right, and families rely on communication. 279 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:46,312 And communication relies on emotional exhibitionism. 280 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,481 Yes, so, Jim, 281 00:10:48,554 --> 00:10:51,140 if you need to take off your emotional pants, 282 00:10:51,510 --> 00:10:56,640 I want you to know I'm here for you. 283 00:10:58,314 --> 00:11:00,232 It is spectacularly clear to me 284 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:03,079 that you two were meant for each other. 285 00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:04,717 Uh, can I write a check in the men's room? 286 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,838 Do you know? Or Venmo? 287 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,377 You seem agitated, Jim. 288 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,463 You shouldn't pee agitated. 289 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,132 That's how mistakes are made. 290 00:11:13,143 --> 00:11:14,811 Bad for the shoes. 291 00:11:15,222 --> 00:11:17,284 Look, the issue was 292 00:11:17,295 --> 00:11:19,721 that we didn't know what Grace wanted, and then we found out. 293 00:11:19,732 --> 00:11:22,026 Grace wanted Takane, and so we are here. 294 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,870 Grace is happy, and therefore I am happy. 295 00:11:23,881 --> 00:11:25,934 My heart is full, and as it happens, 296 00:11:25,945 --> 00:11:27,519 so is my bladder. Excuse me. 297 00:11:30,512 --> 00:11:32,222 Babe, I know I don't speak fluent Jim yet, 298 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,943 but that does not seem like a happy man. 299 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,779 Yeah. Did... did I miss something? 300 00:11:35,893 --> 00:11:37,353 I didn't, did I? No. 301 00:11:37,402 --> 00:11:39,404 Did I? No. 302 00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:42,844 Repeat after me. 303 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,682 Tartar sauce. 304 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,248 Hey, um, Reverend? 305 00:11:47,512 --> 00:11:48,792 Yes, child? 306 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,503 I think one of your flock needs you. 307 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:53,380 Look, I'm not gonna deny it, you know? 308 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,465 Trey's money allows him to do things for the kids 309 00:11:55,476 --> 00:11:56,894 that I could never do. 310 00:11:56,905 --> 00:11:59,742 When he's around, it's hard not to feel less than. 311 00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,213 But am I supposed to just capitulate? 312 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,390 You know, stick out a limp, supplicant paw 313 00:12:03,401 --> 00:12:04,728 and say, "Thank you, Trey, 314 00:12:04,739 --> 00:12:06,694 how do we ever have a happy day without you?" 315 00:12:08,044 --> 00:12:09,784 Fatherhood, man. 316 00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,277 What a ride. 317 00:12:12,555 --> 00:12:14,724 I mean, birthdays and youth soccer 318 00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,515 and, well, violin recitals. 319 00:12:17,526 --> 00:12:19,823 You ever listen to a five-year-old play violin? 320 00:12:20,083 --> 00:12:21,199 It's horrible. 321 00:12:21,210 --> 00:12:22,369 Horrible. 322 00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:24,174 You can feel it in your teeth. 323 00:12:24,473 --> 00:12:25,682 But you suck it up. 324 00:12:25,693 --> 00:12:27,528 You take video. Later, you watch the video. 325 00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:29,082 Your teeth hurt again. 326 00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:32,002 But it doesn't matter because it's your daughter, 327 00:12:32,287 --> 00:12:33,622 and you're her dad. 328 00:12:35,349 --> 00:12:37,559 And then one day, the owner of your favorite sports team 329 00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:38,925 falls in love with your ex-wife, 330 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,174 and your daughter forgets all about you. 331 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,595 It hurts. 332 00:12:42,606 --> 00:12:44,525 It really hurts. 333 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,224 Any advice? 334 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,727 Yeah, I got some advice. 335 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:53,690 Don't talk to strangers in the men's room. 336 00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:55,294 You said, "How's it going?" 337 00:12:55,305 --> 00:12:56,681 And you're supposed to say, "Good," 338 00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,028 and that's the end of it. 339 00:12:58,039 --> 00:13:00,417 Did I tell you that this is not my real leg? 340 00:13:00,428 --> 00:13:01,926 Or how I lost my real leg? 341 00:13:01,937 --> 00:13:04,356 How much I miss my real leg? 342 00:13:04,698 --> 00:13:07,662 - No, you did not. - Did I tell you about my future son-in-law, 343 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:08,955 the love of my daughter's life, 344 00:13:08,966 --> 00:13:12,177 who has a spider tattoo on his face? 345 00:13:12,216 --> 00:13:13,324 Not on his neck. 346 00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:14,586 On his face. 347 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,879 Right here. 348 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,423 Daddy long legs. 349 00:13:18,525 --> 00:13:19,859 I did not say that to you. 350 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:21,010 You know why? 351 00:13:21,022 --> 00:13:22,344 Because you don't do it. 352 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,846 Not in a men's room. 353 00:13:23,857 --> 00:13:27,198 We've been in here so long, I almost have to go again, 354 00:13:27,209 --> 00:13:30,755 but I am leaving because this has been so unpleasant. 355 00:13:32,121 --> 00:13:34,230 Wow. Whatever happened to the kindness of strangers? 356 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,066 We're not strangers anymore. 357 00:13:36,077 --> 00:13:37,787 I wish we were strangers. 358 00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:40,236 We were meant to be strangers. 359 00:13:40,457 --> 00:13:43,293 I know more about your kids than I do my own! 360 00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:53,622 It smells like dandelions in here. 361 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,251 Jimmy, never enter a men's room 362 00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:57,796 and say anything like that again. 363 00:13:58,143 --> 00:13:59,574 Copy that. 364 00:14:05,303 --> 00:14:08,014 How you feeling about your career aptitude test? 365 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,641 Do you know what you'll be when you grow up? 366 00:14:09,893 --> 00:14:11,352 Hopefully at the big urinal. 367 00:14:11,363 --> 00:14:12,614 This one's humiliating. 368 00:14:12,632 --> 00:14:13,937 Hmm. 369 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:16,022 Well, if the preaching thing doesn't work out, 370 00:14:16,104 --> 00:14:18,023 you should give the finance business a shot. 371 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,068 What's the finance business? 372 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:22,821 It's what Trey did before he bought the Celtics. 373 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,364 Now he can buy whatever he wants... 374 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:27,450 basketball teams, people's affections, 375 00:14:27,591 --> 00:14:31,136 teeny-tiny pieces of inarguably sublime fish. 376 00:14:32,016 --> 00:14:33,796 Yeah, if I could do it all over again, 377 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:38,294 I'd have majored in finance instead of beer pong. 378 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:41,006 But let me tell you, if beer pong ever goes professional, 379 00:14:41,017 --> 00:14:44,813 I'm buying the Red Sox, and a cranberry farm. 380 00:14:46,645 --> 00:14:48,972 But if you'd done anything differently, 381 00:14:48,983 --> 00:14:51,057 then you wouldn't have been you. 382 00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:55,447 You wouldn't have married Mom, and I wouldn't exist. 383 00:14:55,613 --> 00:14:58,157 You'd be peeing next to some other kid right now. 384 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:02,277 That's... you make a good point. 385 00:15:03,726 --> 00:15:05,436 Maybe you should be a preacher. 386 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:06,628 You done? 387 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,136 I've been done for a while, Dad. 388 00:15:08,147 --> 00:15:09,440 I just like talking to you. 389 00:15:13,064 --> 00:15:14,673 For the first time in history, 390 00:15:14,684 --> 00:15:16,530 my brother did what I wanted him to, 391 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:19,961 and I didn't even have to threaten physical violence. 392 00:15:20,003 --> 00:15:21,629 So we were back on track. 393 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,351 But the most important part of the plan was still ahead. 394 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,385 I know my family, and I knew what was about to happen. 395 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,700 And I would be ready when it did. 396 00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:36,884 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 397 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,927 ♪ Ooh ♪ 398 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,357 Grace, blow out the birthday candle. 399 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,525 Go easy, though. The whole thing could sail across the room. 400 00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:46,866 Hey! 401 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,743 - Mmm. - Oh, my God. 402 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,161 - Oh, wow. - Wow. 403 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:55,577 - Even the birthday cake is incredible. - Mmm. 404 00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:58,257 More like a birthday nibble, but yeah. 405 00:15:58,885 --> 00:16:01,211 Oh. At least let me get the tip. 406 00:16:02,311 --> 00:16:03,562 Service wasn't that great. 407 00:16:05,751 --> 00:16:07,169 Wait a second. 408 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,999 - That was the whole meal? - Mm-hmm. 409 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,595 I thought those were just appetizers. 410 00:16:10,776 --> 00:16:12,027 Reverend, polite. 411 00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:13,682 Reverend starving. 412 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:14,766 This is a restaurant. 413 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,142 They have a responsibility. 414 00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:17,519 - It's their style. - Yes. 415 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,793 Famine. 416 00:16:19,699 --> 00:16:20,927 Can I have some French fries? 417 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,501 Nothing here is fried. 418 00:16:22,512 --> 00:16:23,942 What? 419 00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:26,695 Boo! Boo! 420 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:29,030 Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, what would Jesus do? 421 00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,866 Beats me, but there's about to be one less koi. 422 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,502 Oh, ooh, ooh, ooh. 423 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,791 So, um, let me ask, 424 00:16:39,802 --> 00:16:42,012 who besides me would really love 425 00:16:42,023 --> 00:16:44,025 some spaghetti and meatballs right now? 426 00:16:50,006 --> 00:16:52,310 I'm not gonna lie. I could eat my entire arm. 427 00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:56,016 Dad, can you save the day? 428 00:16:57,476 --> 00:17:00,175 Oh, well, it's a little last-minute, 429 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:03,408 but um, I think I can make a call. 430 00:17:03,838 --> 00:17:05,924 Let's hope Stornelli's has a phone. 431 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,239 I didn't realize how much I had asked of Jim, you know, 432 00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:13,508 what it... what it means to a man like him 433 00:17:13,519 --> 00:17:15,396 to be a good dad, the dad, 434 00:17:15,407 --> 00:17:17,535 no matter who else had come along. 435 00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:19,416 You were less than sensitive. 436 00:17:22,098 --> 00:17:23,924 Yes. Thank you. 437 00:17:24,408 --> 00:17:26,118 Uh, but fortunately, our daughter, 438 00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:27,630 despite her demeanor sometimes, 439 00:17:27,641 --> 00:17:30,519 is actually the most sensitive of us all. 440 00:17:30,902 --> 00:17:32,291 I knew what the best outcome was, 441 00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,221 so I manipulated everyone around me to get it. 442 00:17:35,462 --> 00:17:36,765 I'm so proud. 443 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,397 Mmm. 444 00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:46,866 You know what I'm thinking? 445 00:17:46,877 --> 00:17:48,307 That you've been eating for 45 minutes, 446 00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:50,737 so how come your plate's still full? 447 00:17:50,810 --> 00:17:52,436 It's like the spaghetti is giving birth 448 00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,324 - to more spaghetti. - Mm. 449 00:17:54,396 --> 00:17:56,106 Should we be dreading the aftermath, 450 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,532 little Stornelli's all over the place? 451 00:17:57,543 --> 00:17:59,276 - Nope. Live for the moment. - Okay. 452 00:17:59,471 --> 00:18:01,765 Actually, I was thinking 453 00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:04,487 that our children will teach us. 454 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:11,883 Jim, Grace is learning to embrace Trey 455 00:18:12,129 --> 00:18:16,346 because he is a person very much worth embracing, 456 00:18:16,828 --> 00:18:19,766 and he should be welcomed into the family 457 00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:22,535 with tenderness and warmth. 458 00:18:22,546 --> 00:18:23,586 - Thank you. - Still talking. 459 00:18:23,597 --> 00:18:25,432 Sorry. 460 00:18:25,826 --> 00:18:30,443 But she knows that she'll only ever have one dad. 461 00:18:30,884 --> 00:18:32,404 And now you know she knows. 462 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,239 And she knows you know she knows. 463 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,700 And I know you know she knows she knows. 464 00:18:37,086 --> 00:18:39,994 And that is worth a billion dandelions. 465 00:18:41,075 --> 00:18:42,909 I will keep that in mind. 466 00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:45,656 I sure hope so, because this was exhausting. 467 00:18:47,521 --> 00:18:49,315 And I promise that next time, 468 00:18:49,326 --> 00:18:52,538 I will be much more considerate of your feelings before I dismiss them. 469 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:54,825 That's all I ask, a pause of kindness 470 00:18:54,836 --> 00:18:56,254 before being completely disregarded. 471 00:18:56,295 --> 00:18:57,462 Hmm. 472 00:18:58,584 --> 00:19:00,586 Oh, it's me now? 473 00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:03,517 Because I thought I handled things pretty well. 474 00:19:05,297 --> 00:19:09,660 Okay. Um, I went to MIT. 475 00:19:09,671 --> 00:19:12,353 Ladies and gentlemen, the 9:17 MIT mention. 476 00:19:12,364 --> 00:19:14,112 Right on time. 477 00:19:14,214 --> 00:19:19,260 But my real education started when I joined this family. 478 00:19:20,777 --> 00:19:21,848 What have you learned? 479 00:19:21,859 --> 00:19:23,077 Well, I've learned that 480 00:19:23,088 --> 00:19:25,362 I'd rather be full of pasta and love at Stornelli's 481 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,625 than hungry and unloved at Takane. 482 00:19:28,539 --> 00:19:30,333 Hallelujah. 483 00:19:33,007 --> 00:19:36,143 Oh. When was the last time somebody picked up a check for you, Trey? 484 00:19:36,154 --> 00:19:38,053 2002. 485 00:19:38,279 --> 00:19:40,253 Then it's my pleasure. 486 00:19:40,775 --> 00:19:41,852 Thank you. 487 00:19:42,052 --> 00:19:43,953 It's nice having our picture on the wall. 488 00:19:43,964 --> 00:19:46,884 Well, we're the only ones who've ever come back. 489 00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,231 But maybe it's time for a new picture. 490 00:19:49,568 --> 00:19:50,763 You know what? 491 00:19:50,774 --> 00:19:52,067 You're absolutely right. 492 00:19:52,229 --> 00:19:53,713 - Can I borrow that? - What? 493 00:19:53,724 --> 00:19:55,476 - Your phone. - Seriously? 494 00:19:55,487 --> 00:19:57,197 - Just for a second. - Where are you going? 495 00:19:57,208 --> 00:19:58,960 - I'm not leaving. - Don't break it. 496 00:19:58,971 --> 00:20:00,306 - I won't. - Where's yours? 497 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:01,743 - In my pocket. - Just use that. 498 00:20:01,754 --> 00:20:03,172 Yours is newer. 499 00:20:03,404 --> 00:20:04,572 Fine. 500 00:20:06,048 --> 00:20:07,717 - What's your password? - Never. 501 00:20:13,236 --> 00:20:14,495 How about I get up and take a picture 502 00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:16,054 - of the four of you guys? - No, no, no, no. 503 00:20:16,065 --> 00:20:17,901 You stay right where you are. 504 00:20:18,706 --> 00:20:20,016 Smile, everybody. 505 00:20:56,394 --> 00:20:58,063 Okay, okay. 506 00:20:58,074 --> 00:21:00,671 I was wrong! 507 00:21:03,006 --> 00:21:08,006 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 36514

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