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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,040 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:34,680 (PHONE VIBRATING) 3 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:50,520 (PHONE RINGING) 4 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,720 Hello? 5 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,880 Why don't you just tell me what's happened? 6 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,160 And what is it? 7 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:11,360 I'll be right down. 8 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,720 What's happened? 9 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,760 Oh, Susannah. 10 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,120 Susannah? 11 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,400 Princess Susannah. 12 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,160 Is she all right? 13 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,080 I don't know. 14 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,920 (WAILING) 15 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,480 (PRINCESS SUSANNAH) Don't kill me. 16 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,360 Please don't kill me. 17 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,880 (MAN) Read the statement. 18 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,080 Yes. All right. 19 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,880 On this screen? 20 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,480 (MAN) That is correct. 21 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:17,800 I am Susannah, Duchess of Beaumont. 22 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:22,200 Popularly known as Princess Susannah. 23 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:29,240 I am in a place you cannot find, 24 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,000 held by one you will not trace. 25 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,640 Prime Minister Michael Callow, 26 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,880 Prime Minister Michael Callow, my... my life... 27 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,920 my life depends on you. 28 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:58,720 If you do not do precisely as instructed... 29 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,080 ...by four pm this afternoon, I will be... 30 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,600 ...I will be executed. 31 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,280 What are you doing? Keep it going. 32 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,120 Prime Minister, at this point I think it's 33 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:24,720 important to say that we are 100% certain that this 34 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,760 is indeed Princess Susannah. 35 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,360 Her car was intercepted 36 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,160 shortly after midnight, returning from the wedding 37 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,800 of a college friend of hers. 38 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,920 She'd insisted on going. 39 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,480 But you had security on her? 40 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,960 Two PPOs, still unconscious, 41 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,080 heavy sedative, close range, each with a single puncture wound, 42 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,480 no sign of struggle. 43 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,920 What do they want? 44 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,920 Money? 45 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,640 Release of Jihadi? 46 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,120 Scrap Third World debt? 47 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,240 Save the fucking libraries? 48 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,560 We are convinced both the video and the 49 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,120 demand it contains are genuine. 50 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,360 What demand? 51 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,160 What Susannah says next. 52 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:13,600 It concerns you directly, sir. 53 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,200 Just play it. 54 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,440 (PRINCESS SUSANNAH) There is only one demand, 55 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,520 and it is a simple one. 56 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,000 At four pm this afternoon, Prime Minister Michael Callow 57 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,480 must appear on live British television 58 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,680 on all networks, terrestrial and satellite, 59 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,120 and... no... 60 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,640 (SOBBING) 61 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:45,480 ... on all British networks, terrestrial and satellite, 62 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:50,800 and have full unsimulated sexual intercourse with a pig. 63 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,320 I don't understand! 64 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,480 (JULIAN) The video ends with a series of technical 65 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,560 specifications for the broadcast. 66 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,760 Why are you doing this? 67 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,400 This is a joke? Right? 68 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,120 Ha-ha, Mike. Ho-ho. 69 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,280 It's real. 70 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,160 She said pig. 71 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,160 Sex with a pig. 72 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:41,720 They want me to have sex with a pig. 73 00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:45,640 Live, on television this afternoon. 74 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,720 But what... 75 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,200 Who? 76 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,200 We're checking with our embedded operatives, 77 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,000 compiling a list of suspects as we speak. 78 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,280 Meanwhile, the demand has been made, 79 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:04,000 and there's not long to formulate our response. 80 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,320 Well, I'm not fucking a pig. 81 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,520 Page one, that's not happening. 82 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,080 Of course. 83 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,680 Absolutely, sir. 84 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,000 Well, have we established a dialogue with this... 85 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,720 We can't, there's no e-mail address, 86 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:31,840 no codeword, no channels for negotiation. 87 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:33,840 Okay, so we'll focus on finding Susannah. 88 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,400 Hmm? We get her back. 89 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,880 And however it's done, I don't care. 90 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,400 We stop this now. 91 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,520 I assure you, everyone's working towards this. 92 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,320 Yes... no, not everyone, a dedicated core team, 93 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,840 this can't go wide, 94 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,280 and keep it so far from the press 95 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,800 it's on the other side of Jupiter. 96 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:52,880 This only exists in this room. 97 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,440 It's already outside it. 98 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,760 Well if there are hacks sniffing around, shut them down. 99 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,080 Bright red D notice. 100 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,640 Super fucking Godzilla injunction 101 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,640 with ten-inch Whitehall fangs. 102 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,360 This video came from YouTube. 103 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,040 What? 104 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,240 It was uploaded via an encrypted IP over an hour ago. 105 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,600 Well get it off there! 106 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,040 We did, after nine minutes, 107 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:17,880 but that was long enough for it to be downloaded, 108 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,200 duplicated and spread. 109 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,520 Spread? 110 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,320 How many people have seen this? 111 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,520 We take down one, six clones immediately pop up elsewhere. 112 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:28,760 How many people? 113 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,800 50,000, that's our current estimate. 114 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,240 The news rooms have got it. 115 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,800 They're running this on air? 116 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,200 No, no, we put a type 5D notice out immediately. 117 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,480 And they're complying. 118 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,520 For now, it's trending on Twitter. 119 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,360 Oh for... fucking Internet. 120 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,200 So what now? What's the play book? 121 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,160 This is virgin territory, Prime Minister. 122 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,960 There's no play book. 123 00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:09,900 (WOMAN) Princess Susannah's been kidnapped. 124 00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:11,220 You scared the shit out of me. 125 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:12,900 And there's a YouTube of it... 126 00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:15,300 Oh, go to work. 127 00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:18,620 (PRINCESS SUSANNAH) ...and have full unsimulated 128 00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:21,220 sexual intercourse with a pig... 129 00:08:21,340 --> 00:08:24,180 No way. It's a piss take, man, look at it! 130 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:25,820 I don't understand! 131 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,460 Why's it not on the news. 132 00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:29,620 (WOMAN) ...Carlton Bloom's controversial agitation 133 00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:32,020 exhibition at the Tate Modern closes three weeks ahead of 134 00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:33,700 schedule amid criticism... 135 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:37,100 So how do we even describe it? "An indecent act." 136 00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,380 Everyone's seen the video. 137 00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:39,780 They already know the full details. 138 00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:42,020 If we mention bestiality pre-watershed, 139 00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:43,700 Ofcom would be seriously pissed off. 140 00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,140 Fuck Ofcom. 141 00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:46,620 We're still observing the D notice. 142 00:08:46,740 --> 00:08:47,780 But surely we're going to do something... 143 00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:48,940 We're honouring the D notice. 144 00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:50,180 The voluntary D notice. 145 00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:51,620 It may be a sportsman-like gesture, 146 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:53,180 but we are making it, 147 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:56,420 a woman's life is at stake here, we follow procedure. 148 00:08:56,540 --> 00:08:59,260 My time line consists 100 per cent of viewers asking 149 00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:00,820 why we're not covering it. 150 00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:01,900 How do I reply? 151 00:09:02,020 --> 00:09:03,140 You don't. 152 00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:05,060 That is totally backwards. 153 00:09:05,180 --> 00:09:07,660 No-one else has broken rank, not the Beeb, not Sky, not... 154 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,900 I hear Facebook's coverage is pretty comprehensive. 155 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:12,020 (LAUGHTER) That may be, but... 156 00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:13,700 (WOMAN) It's like 9/11's happening 157 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,220 and we're broadcasting sandwich recipes. 158 00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:17,140 Martin We're not a chat room. 159 00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:20,060 It's on CNN. And Fox. 160 00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:24,020 And MSNBC, Al Jazeera, NHK... 161 00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:25,420 Yeah, all right. 162 00:09:26,820 --> 00:09:28,900 Oh, God, this planet. 163 00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:33,700 Okay, Sarah, cover the snatch itself, Damon public reaction, 164 00:09:33,820 --> 00:09:36,220 Mira, the royal angle, upcoming marriage etc. 165 00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:38,660 Simon, set tone with standards and practices. 166 00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:39,940 We need to explain this without viewers 167 00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:41,860 sicking up their Weetabix. 168 00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:45,260 Lorcan, the Internet aspect, new paradigm, Twitter, Arab spring, 169 00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:46,820 all that bibble. 170 00:09:46,940 --> 00:09:49,180 Dan, all graphics run past me, keep it functional, 171 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,500 no pepper pigs. 172 00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:52,980 Malaika, update the Princess obit VT. 173 00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,860 The obit VT? 174 00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:58,860 Hm, first an awkward phone call, the least I can do is warn Tom. 175 00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,780 We put a D notice on it. 176 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:05,860 (MARTIN) It's gone global, Tom. 177 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:06,980 Don't. 178 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:08,340 (MARTIN) I can't do anything... 179 00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:09,620 - I'm begging you. - You're begging me? 180 00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:11,020 Don't run it, Martin. 181 00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:12,980 Look I'm sorry, I can't help you. 182 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,260 You know how much help you're getting from here on in? 183 00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:19,220 Multiplying nothing by shit all, UKN is dead to us. 184 00:10:19,340 --> 00:10:21,180 Shove it up your ass, you fucking... 185 00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,060 Interesting? 186 00:10:23,180 --> 00:10:24,100 A man. 187 00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:25,140 A man? 188 00:10:25,260 --> 00:10:26,340 A man. 189 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:30,580 Tom. So you're across it, 190 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,940 I'm exploring contingency plans. 191 00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:34,940 I briefed Callett. 192 00:10:36,660 --> 00:10:40,900 Ah, Mr Callett, Noel from Blue Eye. 193 00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:43,140 Noel won an Emmy for his effects work 194 00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:46,140 on that HBO moon Western thing. 195 00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:47,500 Sea of Tranquillity. 196 00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:48,980 Yeah, yeah, you won't find better. 197 00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,580 Can you map a head onto a different body, live? 198 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:52,260 It depends if your camera's moving. 199 00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,820 Rule sheet specifies a single hand held camera 200 00:10:54,940 --> 00:10:57,260 in a constant roving motion. 201 00:10:57,380 --> 00:11:01,140 Hm, yeah, Gonzo style, he knows his shit. 202 00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:02,940 That's tough. 203 00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:05,980 "Fruition to be transmitted in four." What does... 204 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,380 Just focus on the visuals, 205 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,580 different face mapped onto a live performer. 206 00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:12,380 According to those stipulations. 207 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,260 Fringe is a possibility... 208 00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:16,420 Deadline's at four, we need to know if it's workable by two. 209 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,700 Can't happen. 210 00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:24,260 It has to. 211 00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:26,060 Our Embeds have ruled out the major players. 212 00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:28,980 It's not AQ, not IRA, this is what's left, 213 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,420 radicals, hate groups, 214 00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:33,940 people who threaten yourself or the royals. 215 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,420 They're being pulled in even as we speak. 216 00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:38,820 And more than questioning I hope. 217 00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:40,700 Somebody knows something. 218 00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:46,780 (NEWS READER) If we all do it more 219 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,460 then there'll be less waste overall 220 00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:49,780 lying around whenever the bin men... 221 00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:50,940 Is it still not on the telly? 222 00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:53,260 Nothing, must be a hoax. 223 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,220 Or a black-out. 224 00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:56,740 Oh! Heads up. 225 00:11:56,860 --> 00:12:00,020 Some major breaking news here now on UKN, 226 00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:01,580 in the last few minutes 227 00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:04,740 it's been confirmed that Susannah, Duchess of Beaumont, 228 00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:06,260 has been kidnapped. 229 00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,260 A video uploaded anonymously 230 00:12:08,380 --> 00:12:11,500 to the Internet, appears to depict the princess 231 00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:13,100 pleading for her life. 232 00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:16,380 The video also contains a bizarre ransom demand 233 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:19,260 of a personal nature involving the Prime Minister. 234 00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:21,820 This is followed by a detailed list of instructions 235 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:24,820 relating to the enactment of this demand. 236 00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:27,020 As police round up potential suspects... 237 00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:28,660 Good morning. 238 00:12:28,780 --> 00:12:31,660 ...this UKN news viewer video shows armed officers 239 00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:33,620 raiding an address in Bradford, 240 00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:36,260 a man thought to be connected with a religious pressure group 241 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:39,380 can be seen being dragged to a waiting van. 242 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:40,860 Details regarding the... 243 00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:42,060 If it's terrorists, they'll take her head off. 244 00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:43,620 Fuck's sake, man. 245 00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:45,140 Just saying. 246 00:12:45,260 --> 00:12:47,900 They'll be asking for a million quid or something. 247 00:12:48,020 --> 00:12:50,740 They want him to do it with a pig. 248 00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:53,700 Telegraph has the whole video 249 00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:56,740 and an interactive time line, Tonilee Stark, 250 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,900 brief mention of the ransom being a sex act, 251 00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:00,740 nothing too gross. 252 00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:03,620 The Sun runs with "Taken, Big Brother Susannah" the... 253 00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:05,180 Of course I still want that drink. 254 00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,820 (MALAIKA) Well then give me something. 255 00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:09,820 It's not... that won't be possible. 256 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:14,580 I'm friendly when I drink, very friendly when I'm grateful. 257 00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,060 There's no comment at this time. 258 00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:17,820 (DISCONNECTS) 259 00:13:26,660 --> 00:13:28,180 (PHOTO CLICK) 260 00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,180 The Guardian are running a fucking live blog, 261 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:34,260 and a short think piece on the historical symbolism of the pig. 262 00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,220 (PHONE BEEP) 263 00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:38,660 (NEWSREADER) ...4 pm deadline now only five hours away, 264 00:13:38,780 --> 00:13:42,820 UKN's Damon Brown analysis the public reaction to the crisis. 265 00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,500 (DAMON) It's a day like no other. 266 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:46,260 The kidnapped video has now been watched 267 00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:47,860 by over 18 million people. 268 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:49,860 The social networking sites are abuzz 269 00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:51,740 with an estimated 10,000 tweets per minute. 270 00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:53,620 So while we wait for Downing Street 271 00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:55,460 to make a formal response, 272 00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:58,060 there's no doubt that the nation is voicing its opinion. 273 00:13:58,180 --> 00:14:00,100 I don't think anyone should concede to 274 00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:02,780 any sort of humiliation under that kind of threat. 275 00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:04,980 I couldn't bare to see that and watch that. 276 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,660 I won't personally be tuning in, 277 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:08,340 I mean just thinking about it, it's horrible. 278 00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:09,860 (WOMAN) That's disgusting, 279 00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:11,380 it is disgusting if you think about it. 280 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,020 (MAN) It's going to be disgusting, 281 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,860 but after that, he's going to be a hero. 282 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,900 (WOMAN) People abroad will look at him 283 00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,740 like he is totally insane, and maybe take his position away. 284 00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:21,660 (WOMAN) It would be absolutely hilarious to see that on TV. 285 00:14:21,780 --> 00:14:24,540 (MAN) Nothing too abnormal for Prime Ministers and MPs, 286 00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,060 they're all deviant, sexual deviants, 287 00:14:26,180 --> 00:14:27,980 all MPs and Prime Ministers. 288 00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:35,060 We've been squeezing hard, but still nothing concrete. 289 00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:37,940 It is my house, you cannot stop me 290 00:14:38,060 --> 00:14:39,180 while you're standing in my doorway. 291 00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:41,460 You are touching my door handle. 292 00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:46,460 Can I have a word? 293 00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:51,860 It won't come to that. 294 00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:53,660 And if they don't find her? 295 00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:56,380 Mi5 have got a name. They're surrounding the place now. 296 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:57,500 Where? 297 00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:58,660 What? 298 00:14:58,780 --> 00:14:59,740 Where's the place? 299 00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:01,540 - Truro. - Why are you lying? 300 00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:02,620 What? 301 00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:06,740 You're lying. Truro? Jesus. 302 00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:08,300 I don't want you worrying. 303 00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:09,940 You never patronise me, don't start now. 304 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:11,860 Whoever this is, is insane. 305 00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:13,380 And has a Princess. 306 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:14,940 Who'll get through this. 307 00:15:15,060 --> 00:15:17,500 Not just any princess, The Princess, Princess bloody 308 00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:21,500 Facebook, bloody eco-conscious, national sweetheart. 309 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,980 I won't have to do anything. 310 00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,620 Everyone's laughing at us. 311 00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:27,740 You don't know that. 312 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,140 I know people. 313 00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:31,980 We love humiliation, we can't not laugh. 314 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,420 Nothing is going to happen. 315 00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:36,460 It's already happening in their heads. 316 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:38,980 In their heads, that's what you're doing, 317 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:41,860 what my husband is doing. 318 00:15:41,980 --> 00:15:43,860 Just... 319 00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:47,500 Please? 320 00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:49,580 Jane. 321 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,700 I love you. 322 00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:55,780 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 323 00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,420 What? 324 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,260 The palace on the phone, sir. 325 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:01,380 Get Alex to stall them for a minute. 326 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,300 She's already been speaking to her for ten minutes. 327 00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:06,140 Her? 328 00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:08,340 It's the queen herself. 329 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:11,620 Go on. 330 00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:23,660 As the four pm deadline draws nearer and the world holds 331 00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:25,900 its breath waiting to discover whether Princess Susannah... 332 00:16:26,020 --> 00:16:27,460 Would they use a female pig? 333 00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:28,860 It's on the list. 334 00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,420 They list the rules at the end of the video, 335 00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:32,460 it specifies camera angles and things. 336 00:16:32,580 --> 00:16:33,540 Like Dogme 95. 337 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,180 It's not like Dogme 95. 338 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,180 Exactly like it. 339 00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,420 What's Dogme 95? 340 00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:39,060 Cinematic movement. 341 00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,180 Lars Von Trier. 342 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,900 Oh. 343 00:16:42,020 --> 00:16:43,940 List of rules for the director, no background music, 344 00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:46,860 only natural light and so on. For authenticity. 345 00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:50,340 Same as these rules, so they can't cheat it, 346 00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:52,100 intercut another guy's arse pumping away. 347 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,180 I mean I can't think of anything remotely like this. 348 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,300 It's an entirely new form of terrorism, 349 00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:58,820 the point of which... 350 00:16:58,940 --> 00:17:00,460 If it's terrorism, it's not Islamist in nature 351 00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:02,340 to request a pig. It's specifically abhorrent... 352 00:17:02,460 --> 00:17:04,340 Well that's exactly the point, to make love to a pig. 353 00:17:04,460 --> 00:17:07,380 Make love? 354 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:08,820 Steer them away from the grisly details. 355 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,620 But we can't discount anything... 356 00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:13,140 Let's not dwell on any of the details. 357 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:15,460 This is already a huge national talking point. 358 00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:19,700 Isn't this precisely what whoever is behind this 359 00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:21,020 is looking for? 360 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,940 (ALEX) How's her majesty taking it? 361 00:17:23,060 --> 00:17:26,060 I trust you'll do everything in your power to get her back. 362 00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:27,220 That's what she said. 363 00:17:27,340 --> 00:17:28,980 And we are. 364 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,740 It wasn't a collective you, it was a singular you, i.e. me. 365 00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:33,220 Sir, we may have something. 366 00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:35,580 Jamie's been tracing the video's origin. 367 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:36,980 I thought it was untraceable. 368 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:39,780 Technically yes, but so I thought, 369 00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,340 work with what we do know, and that video? 370 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:45,700 Okay, before YouTube compression it was 57.3 meg... 371 00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:47,500 ...algorithm, boring. 372 00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:50,980 Anyway, we also know it was uploaded at 3:16am, 373 00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:53,820 so I ran a nationwide trace back on uninterrupted 374 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:57,420 one way uploads at precisely 57.3 meg in the minutes 375 00:17:57,540 --> 00:17:58,900 leading up to 3:16, 376 00:17:59,020 --> 00:18:01,500 and the closest I can get is a post code. 377 00:18:01,620 --> 00:18:04,020 But it came from somewhere in there. 378 00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:06,700 Looks like a campus. 379 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:09,940 (JAMIE) Yep, closed 2010 and it's been empty since. 380 00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:12,260 And the latest i-sat on this image on this area? 381 00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:15,460 (JAMIE) Three am flyover shot from last night. 382 00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:19,780 Looks like it had lights on. 383 00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:22,660 We've got him. 384 00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:24,500 We've got him. 385 00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:25,940 Alert the local team, we'll head out now, 386 00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,500 full squad, I'll man it. 387 00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:31,020 With helmet cam relay. We can watch the operation. 388 00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:33,020 Press office, okay Tom? 389 00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:39,740 Yes! 390 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,040 Right, confident? 391 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,480 It's a bit of a kick bollocks scramble 392 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,080 but with finessing, it should be okay. 393 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,400 Well, finesse quickly, our performer's on his way. 394 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,920 It's a new one for me, obviously, because it's illegal. 395 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,560 I wouldn't normally, you know. 396 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,760 Have you seen any of my films? 397 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,400 No. 398 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,800 Well I'm pretty trad, bish, bash, bosh, in and out. 399 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,400 Yep, well what'd I put on the invoice? 400 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:15,640 That's what I'm wondering? 401 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:16,800 There won't be any invoicing. 402 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,080 Oi, oi, Rod. 403 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,680 Oi, oi. Saveloy... all right... 404 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,040 You need to prep two statements on the rescue operation, 405 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,160 good outcome, bad outcome. 406 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,520 The rescue operation? 407 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,560 The goon squad's heading for some postcode 408 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:30,880 in Buckinghamshire. 409 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,040 HP8 4TD, it's a college or something. 410 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,720 They should be there by now. 411 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,440 (KEYPAD BEEPING) 412 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,360 (CELL BEEP) 413 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,680 (ZIPPER, CAMERA CLICK) 414 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,320 (CELL BEEP) 415 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,520 Yeah, reduce the luminance of the chroma key... 416 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,040 Agent Callett, this is Mr. Flynn. 417 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,160 Aka Rod Senseless. 418 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,320 Stage name. 419 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,760 Yeah, well. 420 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,040 You need to get into this. 421 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,800 Is there a dressing room I can use? 422 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,240 No. 423 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,960 Where's my co-star? 424 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,720 It'd be rude not to give her a bit of a kiss beforehand. 425 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,720 Outside, in the truck. 426 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,080 Full of joie de vivre, isn't he? 427 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,080 You also need to wear this. 428 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,960 On your head. 429 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,880 (WALKER) Board's been prized away, that's where they got in. 430 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,240 Okay. 431 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:47,440 Target identified. 432 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,080 - Commissioner. - Thank you. 433 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,440 Saw Team Red, it's probably a possible entry point. 434 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,280 Any orders, boss? 435 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,520 Continue reconnaissance and await instructions before you proceed. 436 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,920 (NEWSREADER) With the 4 pm deadline only three hours away, 437 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,200 time is running out for the prime minister. 438 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,360 So how did the kidnapper get close to the princess 439 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,440 who was making an unscheduled visit to her friend's wedding? 440 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,240 Have they gone in yet? 441 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:13,880 Do you think I'd be here if they had? 442 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,880 I've got statements for either outcome. 443 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:21,720 Listen, the coverage is very sympathetic. 444 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:22,800 I can't think about coverage now. 445 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,200 No, of course. 446 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,400 But it's onside? 447 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:33,840 Strong undercurrent of sympathy. 448 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,200 Every poll indicates public understanding. 449 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:37,640 Disgust with the captor, 450 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,200 outraged at the whole thing, but not at you. 451 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,280 The fact is, if Walker's team fuck up, 452 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,440 I'm not saying they will, but if they do, 453 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:51,840 the public anticipates non-compliance. 454 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,840 There'll be squawks from the usuals, 455 00:21:54,960 --> 00:22:00,080 but it's not England expects. 456 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:08,480 If he kills her, there's no blood on your hands. 457 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,120 Bottom line. 458 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,400 With just hours to go before the deadline, 459 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,640 time is running out for the security services. 460 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,200 Joining us is actress Lydia Galway, who attended... 461 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,240 (MARTIN) Thought this story was coming from IB7. 462 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:26,360 (WOMAN) It is, but we trimmed the edit so it's coming direct. 463 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:30,320 Where do I know Twinkle Toes from? 464 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,240 Actress, Downton Abbey, knows the princess. 465 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,320 This came for you, left at reception. 466 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,480 Thanks, Jack. 467 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,440 Courier dropped it off. 468 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:42,080 (WOMAN) 20 seconds on the end, thanks. 469 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,920 Plug this in. 470 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,440 - Oh, Jesus! - (GASPS ALL AROUND) 471 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:49,640 Shit. 472 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,000 Jesus. 473 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,680 Jack, call the police. 474 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,360 - (JACK) What me? - (MARTIN) Please take it. 475 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:56,720 (WOMAN) Get someone to shoot that first. 476 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,240 (MARTIN) What the fuck is this? 477 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,560 (WOMAN) "I gave you rules, I said no cheating." 478 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:09,960 (SUSANNA SCREAMS) 479 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,160 (MARTIN) Ooh, urgh. 480 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,600 Some more breaking news now, and a severed finger 481 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,160 thought to belong to Princess Susannah, 482 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,480 has been delivered to UKN, 483 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,360 along with a video, apparently showing the kidnapper 484 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,920 removing it from the Princess. 485 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:30,800 UKN News has passed all material to Scotland Yard. 486 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,520 Fucking hell. 487 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,040 Oh, God, I can't watch this. 488 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,960 He's got to do what they want. 489 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:38,840 Yes, he fucking has. 490 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:40,720 (NEWSREADER) ...accompanied by a memory stick which contained 491 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,120 a statement accusing Downing Street of attempting to break 492 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,480 rules laid down in the demands. 493 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,200 Well, this grim development 494 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,800 comes just hours before the 4 pm deadline out... 495 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,120 (MUTES TV) 496 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,560 Jesus. 497 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:01,720 Unless I'm mistaken, 498 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,560 our mystery man specified no visual trickery 499 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:06,560 in his original demand didn't he? 500 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:08,400 I considered it nec... 501 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,040 Considered it necessary. 502 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,440 - ...to devise... - Fucking hell! 503 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,200 Oi! 504 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,120 - Mike? - Don't. 505 00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:21,800 It's nor... 506 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:26,440 One word and I swear I will fucking... I'll get... 507 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,160 What did you do, Alex? 508 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,440 I had a back up plan. 509 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,840 Man prepared to do it, and an FX company 510 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,480 that'd paint your head onto his shoulders. 511 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,000 And you actually thought that would work? 512 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,440 I believed it worth considering. 513 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,800 Then you're a stupid bitch. 514 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,640 With your interests at heart. 515 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,240 Who knew about this? 516 00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:59,280 A select few, it seems some idiot at the studios 517 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,560 recognised our designated performer, tweeted a photo, 518 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,320 and the online hive mind did the maths. 519 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,200 It's not playing well. 520 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,680 With who? 521 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,200 With er... with anyone. 522 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,880 (MAN) A few hours ago, 523 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,640 public opinion was behind Prime Minister Callow 524 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,440 with only 28 percent of the public believing 525 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:22,880 he should fulfil the bizarre and illegal request. 526 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,880 But in the wake of these images 527 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,080 and with the delivery of the Princess's severed finger to UKN, 528 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,680 the mood is shifting. 529 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,120 (WOMAN) It'll be humiliating, 530 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:32,960 but nothing compared to her suffering. 531 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,640 (MAN) With the appearance of the finger, 532 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,280 he's just got to do it. 533 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,360 (MAN 2) He has to do it, what's the alternative? 534 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,040 (MAN 3) We can easily get another Prime Minister, 535 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:41,560 but we can't live without a princess. 536 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,200 Of course he should do it. 537 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:44,840 Well, if he doesn't get her released, 538 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,480 you know, he's finished isn't he? 539 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,800 (REPORTER) Online polls suggest that 86 percent 540 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,040 of voters now believe the demand should be met. 541 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,280 Damon Brown, UK. 542 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,160 When are Walker's team hitting the college. 543 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:00,760 They need time to assess... 544 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,440 It's almost half two, no more pissing around. 545 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:03,960 Julia's advising against it. 546 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,360 And I'm advising for, they go in now. 547 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,800 They go in now. 548 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,120 ♪ ♪ 549 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,440 (DIALS PHONE) 550 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:25,160 (PHONE RINGS) 551 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,000 Where's my obit VT? 552 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:29,440 What would you say if I told you I was standing near the 553 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,200 building where Susannah's being held. 554 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:32,640 I'd say bullshit. 555 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,080 Then you'd be wrong. 556 00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:37,480 Have you got a crew with you? 557 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,880 No, I'm not stupid. 558 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,320 Malaika? Hello? 559 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,280 ♪ ♪ 560 00:26:58,080 --> 00:26:59,360 (MALAIKA) Are you getting this? 561 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:00,760 Yeah, we are. 562 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:02,720 Stay back, don't put yourself in any danger. 563 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,560 (MALAIKA) Still getting this? 564 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,800 Yeah, yeah, we are, just stay safe Malaika, be careful. 565 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,880 If this doesn't work... 566 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,560 We need to... 567 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:51,880 God. 568 00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,080 (SHOUTING) 569 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:01,760 (SOLDIER) Lie down on the floor. 570 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,840 ♪ ♪ 571 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,080 Go! 572 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:09,360 Stand where you are! 573 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,720 Fuck. 574 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,920 It's a decoy, they must have bounced the upload from here 575 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,960 with the proxy. They could be anywhere. I'm sorry. 576 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:28,200 (MARTIN) Oh, Jesus. 577 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:29,880 They're looking right at her. 578 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,360 No, they can't see her, there's this screen here. 579 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:32,600 (WOMAN) Malaika, make sure they can't... 580 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:37,920 Lay down! (SHOUTING) 581 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,680 Run, Malaika, run! 582 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,400 (MARTIN) Get out of there, come on! 583 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:48,680 (SOLDIER) Stay where you are! 584 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,000 (SHOUTING) 585 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,840 (GUNFIRE) 586 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:57,480 Is it him? Have we got him? 587 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,440 Jack! Where the fuck is Jack? 588 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,280 (MALAIKA GROANING) 589 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,400 (SOLDIER) Down, down. 590 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:15,080 UKN, that's Malaika something or other, she's from UKN. 591 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,240 - You're press? - Yes. 592 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,280 (GUN SHOT) 593 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:19,440 Ah... ah... 594 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,480 There goes your RTS award. 595 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:22,520 There must be something. 596 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:23,880 There's nothing there, Mike. 597 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,080 There'll be a clue, some evidence. 598 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:26,520 We've done all we can. 599 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,320 You sent in a strike team to rescue a manikin. 600 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:29,280 I'm sorry, Michael. 601 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:30,800 Oh, fuck off, Julian. 602 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:31,920 Michael, it's twenty past three, we're out of time. 603 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,320 We're not out of time. 604 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,600 We're not out of time. 605 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,400 Oh... 606 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:53,920 It's not going to happen. 607 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:54,920 To the public... 608 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:56,480 Fuck the public. 609 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,280 To the public this would be one man of, to be blunt, 610 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,320 questionable popularity, putting personal embarrassment 611 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:02,520 over the life of a young girl. 612 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:03,840 He won't even release her anyway, 613 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,520 she's probably already dead. 614 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,200 And if she isn't he'll kill her and upload the video. 615 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:12,600 Everyone will see it. The world will see it. 616 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,320 The mood will border on insurrection, 617 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,720 and you will be destroyed, I guarantee you. 618 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,600 Utterly destroyed. 619 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,720 The polling bears that out. 620 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:28,840 You won't just be a disgraced politician, 621 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,600 you'll be a despised individual. 622 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:36,960 The public, the Palace, and the party insist on compliance. 623 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:38,360 Fuck the party. 624 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,480 Refuse, and I've been advised that we cannot 625 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:45,360 guarantee your physical safety. 626 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:47,640 Or that of your family. 627 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:00,840 But... 628 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:02,880 I've made arrangements for the broadcast. 629 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:05,960 I can't. 630 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,080 I'm sorry Michael, it's out of your hands. 631 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,880 Let's take you live now to the scene in Central London. 632 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,840 As we see, the Prime Minister's car travelling across London... 633 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,200 He's going to do it. 634 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,480 The world's bloody broken. 635 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,880 ...now appears to be heading west to Bankside Studios. 636 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,680 (DIALS PHONE) 637 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,320 (PHONE RINGS) 638 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:57,280 (HANGS UP) 639 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,360 (ALEX) We've ratified the law, 640 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,680 after midnight it'll be a criminal offence 641 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,960 to store any recording or still images of the event. 642 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,080 They're doing an announcement beforehand 643 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,680 to warn people off even watching, 644 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:29,120 some sort of sonic tone that causes nausea. 645 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,800 (NEWSREADER) Of course, this comes at a time when opinion 646 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,400 has very much hardened... 647 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,640 (NEWSREADER) As the 4 pm deadline approaches, 648 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:41,480 the whole nation is at a standstill 649 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,400 watching this extraordinary situation play out. 650 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:45,880 And just to remind you, 651 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,880 this is now a story of global significance. 652 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,880 (TOM) "Michael Callow has displayed incredible bravery 653 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,640 in what was literally a matter of life or death." 654 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,200 That's how it opens, 655 00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,880 and then I think we should move onto... okay, yep. 656 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,000 (ALEX) Everything prepared? 657 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:05,440 (MR CALLETT) Yes, ma'am. 658 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,880 - It's sedated? - Injection, it's docile. 659 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:19,000 (ALEX) It's time to go in now. 660 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,080 ...an unprecedented nature. 661 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,680 (ANNOUNCER) This is an official announcement. 662 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,520 In a few minutes, the Prime Minister 663 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:33,240 will perform an indecent act on your screens. 664 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,160 (CHEERS) 665 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,880 This is in accordance with the kidnapper's demand in the hope 666 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,360 that it will ensure the safe release of Princess Susannah. 667 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,880 Recording or possessing a copy of this broadcast 668 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000 will become illegal at midnight. 669 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:47,560 All viewers are advised 670 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,720 to turn off their televisions immediately. 671 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,600 The broadcast will commence after the following tone. 672 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,560 (HIGH PITCHED TONE) 673 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,120 We're complying with all the stipulated rules, 674 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:31,160 so you'll have to keep going. 675 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:37,120 You'll have to see it through to the end. 676 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,760 We've placed visual aids in your eye line 677 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:47,760 which might help if you... get into trouble. 678 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,960 A suggestion we're getting from psychologists is 679 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,560 that you should take as long as you need. 680 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:03,560 To rush might be misinterpreted as eagerness or even enjoyment. 681 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,160 It's just a skeleton crew inside. 682 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,520 Closed set. 683 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:44,600 (PIG SNORTING) 684 00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:09,920 (MAN) He might do it anyway! There he is... 685 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,080 (CHEERS) 686 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,680 I trust this will bring about the safe return 687 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:20,360 of Princess Susannah. 688 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,880 I... 689 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,520 I love my wife. 690 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:39,640 Aah. 691 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,320 May God forgive me. 692 00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:58,840 (LAUGHING) 693 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,640 (MAN) Urgh. 694 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:14,640 ♪ ♪ 695 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:19,880 (NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE) 696 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,440 Jesus. 697 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,840 Poor bastard. 698 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:49,800 No. 699 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:51,360 But it's been on for nearly an hour. 700 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,360 It's history, this. 701 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,800 (VOMITING) 702 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:53,760 (PHONE RINGS) 703 00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,840 (WALKER) She's back, ma'am. We've got her, Susannah. 704 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,640 They released her? 705 00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,960 Yeah, stumbling about in the middle of the city, sedated, 706 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,240 she can't remember anything, but she's unharmed. 707 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:04,520 But her finger? 708 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,640 Not hers, the DNA shows it's male. 709 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,280 What? 710 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,840 There is one other thing ma'am, there's a CCTV grab 711 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,200 of her from half three, it seems he let her go 712 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,320 30 minutes before it happened. 713 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:19,680 Why? 714 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:22,040 My guess, he knew everyone would be 715 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,440 elsewhere, watching screens. 716 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:28,760 So it's a statement. 717 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,320 Ma'am? 718 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,600 That's what this was all about, about making a point. 719 00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:34,600 Should we... 720 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:36,640 Lose that page of the report. 721 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,880 No-one sees it, especially the PM. 722 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,920 Of course. 723 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,800 Good news, Michael, you saved her. 724 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,520 Susanne is alive and well. 725 00:40:56,640 --> 00:41:01,320 (PHONE RINGS) 726 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,080 (DROPS PHONE) 727 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,200 (PHONE RINGS) 728 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:26,600 ♪ ♪ 729 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:51,440 On the one year anniversary of his humiliating ordeal, 730 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,080 an apparently unconcerned Michael Callow 731 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:57,400 put in an assured performance at a public appearance today 732 00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:59,000 accompanied by his wife Jane. 733 00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:02,240 Here I go! Okay. 734 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:05,240 Oh! Aah! 735 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,000 The other central figure in last year's events was also 736 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:09,520 before the camera 737 00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:11,480 at last night's Children Of Valour awards. 738 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,120 Princess Susannah made her first public appearance 739 00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:16,600 since announcing her pregnancy. 740 00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:18,320 It was one year ago today 741 00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:20,520 that the former Turner Prize- winning artist 742 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,600 Carlton Bloom coerced the Prime Minister 743 00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:27,640 into committing an indecent act with the audacious kidnapping. 744 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,800 As the anniversary arrived one art critic has caused 745 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:34,440 controversy by describing it as the first great artwork 746 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,240 of the 21st century. 747 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,960 But while cultural commentators debate its significance, 748 00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,120 there's no denying that with a global audience 749 00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:42,640 of 1.3 billion, 750 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,720 it was an event in which we all participated. 751 00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:47,280 However, the incident failed to destroy 752 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,920 a Prime Minister who currently holds an approval rating 753 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,680 three points higher than this time last year. 754 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,840 Damon Brown, UKN. 755 00:42:59,920 --> 00:43:01,840 Jane? 756 00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,240 Jane please? 757 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:10,680 ♪ ♪ 758 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:33,160 ♪ ♪55789

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