All language subtitles for The.Great.Ziegfeld.1936.DVDRip.x264-HANDJOB

Step right up to the platform,
ladies and gentlemen!

You will see the greatest show
on the midway for only 50 cents!

These little ladies
are entertaining you now,

but in just a moment,

little Egypt will turn
on her stuff.

She has danced before
all the crowned heads of Europe.

She makes blue blood
turn into red!

Ladies and gentlemen,

step right up and buy
your tickets for Sandow,

the strongest man
in the world!

He juggles pianos!

He plays marbles
with cannonballs!

He lifts 10 times his own weight
with one arm!

He can even raise
his own salary!

Ha ha ha!

Now, folks,
step right this way!

You are looking at
the sensation of the fair,

the eighth wonder
of the world!

Ladies and gentlemen,
this way! This way!

This little lady
has wiggled herself

from the sands of the desert

to the shores
of lake Michigan!

And she's about to give you
an exhibition

absolutely free.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is not the dance that
little Egypt does inside,

but to prove our generosity,

we're going to give you
a demonstration

of that famous dance--
the hootchy-kootch!

Egypt, wiggle!

That's sufficient!

Now, ladies and gentlemen...

He's a masterpiece
of manhood...

Step up to the box office
and buy your tickets.

The show's about to begin!

...phenomenon!
Ladies and gentlemen...

Well, how's business,
Ziggy?

Ha ha ha!

And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

Sandow concludes
this performance

by lifting
with herculean strength

the largest dumbbell
in the world!

An unusual feat,
ladies and gentlemen,

for inside
this huge dumbbell,

there are other
dumbbells.

Ladies and gentlemen, look!

Ah, there you are!
Aren't they beautiful!

Aren't they glorious!

A total weight
of 750 pounds!

Isn't it wonderful!
Isn't it marvelous!

Let's give him a big hand!

And what
made you bring me

to a show
of this kind?

Well, you wouldn't let
me see little Egypt.

I'll bet a heifer
against a mare

those weights
ain't on the level.

750 pounds my foot!

I wonder what
her total weight is.

Oh, bill!

Yes, sir.

Open the curtains,
will you?

Open up
those curtains!

Hey, bill, you know,

it seems to me
that this platform...

Oh, hello, lady.

Want some candy,
do you, huh?

Bill, it seems to me

that we ought to have
this platform built higher.

There ought to be
a lot more steps here.

The people in the back row
can hardly see him at all.

But, Mr. Ziegfeld,

there's never anybody
in the back rows.

Well, nevertheless,
I want this higher.

There ought to be
a lot more steps.

Ok, Mr. Ziegfeld.

I'm sorry I lost
my temper, Flo.

But I am
awful disappointed.

I hope you never get
downright disgusted.

What is wrong?
Why don't they come in?

You're the attraction,
and you're asking me?

Maybe you would like
to cancel my contract.

Oh, no, Sandow.

When I make a deal,
it's a deal.

I like that! I like you!

Well, I like you, too.

If you want to pay me
some of my back salary,

I take you
to dinner, ja?

Well, I'm not
very hungry.

Say, what's the matter?

You're not worrying about
your money, are you?

You don't think I'd
ever walk out on you.

No, no.

Nobody do that
to Sandow.

Maybe I better
take you to dinner.

That's fine.
Ha ha ha!

Hands up, mister,

and give me
all your money.

Well, I can't
give you anything

with my hands up,
sweetheart.

All right, fresh.
23 skiddoo for you.

I'll help myself.

Oh, no!

Oh, I see you got
my little surprise.

Uh-huh. This morning.

Gee, ain't it swell.

Were you really
surprised?

Well, wouldn't you be...

Yes.

If you expected
a diamond ring?

I--oh, don't be...

Tell you what we'll do.

We'll go to the little
Vienna restaurant

and have something
to eat. Huh?

Oh, I'd like that.

Telegram,
Mr. Billings.

Oh, thank you.

Just wait a minute.
There might be an answer.

Ho ho! Well, I'll be...

Bad news?

No, no, it's from Ziegfeld.

He's right across the midway.

He could reach out
and touch me,

but he has to send wires.

"In little Egypt, you have

"the best female attraction
of the fair.

"In Sandow, I have the greatest
male attraction in the world.

"Why not fake a romance?

"The newspapers
will fall for it.

"The people will eat it up.

"Then we can show them
together,

and I'd be willing
to split 50/50."

Well, that sounds
like a great idea.

Oh, yes, great.

I'm selling out
every performance,

and he's going to be
thrown out on Saturday,

and he's willing
to split 50/50.

Give me your pencil, boy.
I'll answer this one.

Oh, Jack?

Yes.

Is Ziegfeld a good
friend of yours?

Oh, yes, we've been
pals for years.

But you wouldn't like him.

No?

No, he's up one day
and broke the next.

If he got $10,000 tomorrow,

he'd spend it on the girl
he happened to like

tomorrow night.

You wouldn't want
to waste your time

meeting a fellow
like that.

Oh, not if I met him
on the right night.

On the right... Ohh!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Shut up!

And just send that collect.

Yes, sir, and I'll
deliver it, too, sir.

'Cause every time I take
Mr. Ziegfeld a message,

he always gives me
50 cents.

Oh, he does,
does he?

Sure.

Yes, well, that's probably
why he's always broke.

Come on, dear.

This cheese is so strong
it could walk over

and say hello
to your coffee.

Well, it better not.

This coffee's too weak
to answer it.

Ha ha ha! Flo,
you're wonderful.

You make jokes even
when you're so worried

you can't touch
your cold cuts.

I got no appetite
neither.

Well...

Message for you,
Mr. Ziegfeld.

Oh.

They told me
I'd find you here.

From billings.

So soon he answers.

He must be crazy about
your proposition.

Yes.

Read it to me, Flo.
Read it.

"Dear Ziggy, your proposition
interests me."

What did I tell you?

Ah. Uh-huh.

"But why fake a romance

"between Sandow
and little Egypt?

"Let's make Sandow
marry little Egypt,

and I'll split the children
with you 50/50."

That message
was collect.

Oh.

50 cents.

Have you change
for a dollar?

Uh, sure,
but you always...

Keep it.

Gee, thanks.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Flo, I love you.

I will break chains
for you.

I will lift
buildings for you.

But I will not have
children for you.

Und--und
if I have children,

I will not split
them!

Oh, hello, Ziggy,
I got your wire.

I just got yours, too.

Paterson tells me he's
putting you out Saturday.

He tells me, too.

How do you do,
Mr. Ziegfeld?

How do you... Ohh!

How do you do,
miss, uh...

Yes, uh, Blair.
This is Mr. Ziegfeld.

I'm very happy to
know you, miss Blair.

Oh, I'm so happy to
meet you, Mr. Ziegfeld.

And this is Mr. Sandow,

The strongest man in the--

The strongest
man in the world.

Jack tells me the loveliest
things about you.

Ah, yes, I imagine.

I could tell you some lovely
things about yourself, too.

He's only just met you,

and now he's going to tell
you all about yourself.

Won't you sit down?

Why, thank you.
Yes, dear.

Oh, but no. We've got--
there's a table--

I've seen you many times
on the midway, miss Blair.

Oh, fibber.

I bet you never
even noticed me.

Oh, yes, I have.

Only yesterday
you were wearing

a red dress
trimmed in black lace.

Yes.

And a yellow hat,
and it was atrocious.

Oh, indeed?

Each was all right
in itself, mind you,

but the combination,
whoo!

And last Sunday

you were wearing a blue gown
and an orchid hat.

Why, yes.

And you were wrong
again. Heh heh.

Well, aren't we
the observer.

Do you always check up

on the right
combinations for women?

Always for
beautiful women.

Well, that's nice,
thank you.

How do I look today?

Well,
I don't like your hat.

It shades your eyes,
and I like your eyes.

Oh, thank you.

See, he ought to be
packing his own clothes

right now instead of
selecting yours.

Come on, Ruth,
we've got to...

Well, good-bye, then.

I'll be seeing you around
the grounds, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Well, not after
Saturday you won't.

Ha ha ha ha
hoo hoo!

That fella billings
makes me mad.

Yes?

Even that music
from his little Egypt,

it drives me crazy.

Well, don't worry.

You won't have to listen
to it much longer.

Wait a minute.

Oh, come away, Flo.
For 5 weeks

you've been touching
that elephant for luck,

but now in 5 days
we get put out.

I know it's
a superstition,

but an old Hindu
told me

that if you touch
an elephant's trunk

and he raises it,

everything will be
all right.

Ah, wait, wait.

We know we got hard luck

without that elephant
should tell us.

Say,
I know what's wrong.

You should touch
him!

You're
the attraction!

Me?
Sure!

Go on, go ahead.

Sounds silly, but...

All right, I'll do it.

Ah! Look, Flo,
would he do that for me!

The great sandow!

Sandow.

That's what you
call good luck, ja?

Look, sandow, you know,

you've got to expect
a little rain

with the sunshine.

That was very
embarrassing, Flo,

very embarrassing.

Ah, don't get your dander up.
Who knows?

Maybe that little shower
will bring us oodles of luck.

Well, I hope it brings
us so much business

like that little Egypt.

Look at those peoples,

how they crowd in to see
that woman make wiggles,

when yet they
wouldn't come

to see me lift weights

what no other man
in the world can lift!

Sandow, I'm afraid
your trouble is

you developed
the wrong muscles.

What you say?

Every muscle in Sandow's
body is developed,

even the toes
like that.

With one arm I make
a better muscle dance

than that little Egypt
with the whole body.

Look, boss.

Good heavens!

Are you Mr. Sandow
the strong man?

Yes, madam, this is
the great sandow.

Look at those
huge shoulders.

Aren't
they marvelous!

Yes, dear,
come on.

And that
big chest!

Why, I never saw
a chest

like that
before.

Oh, darling,
come on.

And his
waistline.

Oh, it's simply
magnificent!

Now, precious,
come on.

Just a minute,
dear.

Mr. Sandow.
I think your muscles

are simply
astounding.

Perhaps madam would
like to feel the muscles

of the great sandow.

Ooh,
I'd love to.

Sandow, your arm.

Ohh! Ohh!

Flo, is she dead?

No, she's
only fainted.

But, oh, what
an idea! Come on!

Wait a minute! What's wrong?
Where are you going?

To the papers!
Where?

To the newspapers!

I'm going to tell them
to follow this,

that the women will be
fighting to see you--

not to watch you
lift weights

and bend steel balls,

but simply to feel
your muscles.

Why, sandow, you've
got more sex appeal

in your one arm

than little Egypt
has in her whole...

Sandow, the modern Hercules!
The miracle of strength!

Watch his muscles quiver
in musical rhythm!

Sandow, quiver!

Sufficient.

And now, ladies,

if you want to see more
of the great sandow,

if your hearts are strong enough
to stand the thrill,

step right up
and buy your ticket.

The show starts
in 5 minutes.

Uh, uh, folks,

this is the show!

How's business, Jack?

All right?

Mm-hmm.
Doesn't it sparkle?

Yes, doesn't it?

You like it?

I certainly do.

I'm glad.

Dr. Ziegfeld.

Yes?

Can't I play
my piece for you now?

I get awful tired
of da da da...

I don't blame you,
Mary Lou. So do I.

Go ahead. Go on,
play your little piece.

♪ ♪

Dr. Ziegfeld?

Yes, dear.

Do you know I was mad
at your son?

What? Mad at your best
fella? Oh, but why?

Because he left us for
that old world's fair.

Oh, well, darling,

you know the fair
closed yesterday.

And is he coming
back here again?

Well, I--i hope so.

Go on. You--go on
with your lesson.

Dr. Ziegfeld.

Yes, dear.

Did you know I was
going to marry your son?

Ha ha ha! Well, well,
this is so sudden.

Are you?

Oh, yes. We got that
settled months ago.

Oh, yes, father,
didn't you know

Mary Lou and I
are engaged? Hmm!

Well, don't I get
a kiss today?

Not even a smile?

Ahh! Well, father,

what do you
think of that?

My future wife
won't even kiss me,

and I brought her
a present, too!

What?!

Kiss first.

No.

Present first.

No. Kiss first.

I'll tell you what.

We'll both give
at the same time.

How's that?

I'll count 3.
Ready?

1...

2...

Same time, remember.

Mm-hmm. 3!

Oh, thank you so much.

Dr. Ziegfeld,
isn't it lovely!

Oh, I'm gonna
open it right now.

Right now! Yes!

Oh, well, well, well.

Well, Florenz, what
have you decided to do?

Well, I'm going to
New York tomorrow, dad.

With that sandow,
that strong man?

Mm-hmm.

Father, I don't
really belong here.

No, I don't like it.

You don't like it, huh?

The greatest music conservatory
in the country.

I built it all myself.

Students from all over
the world are coming here,

and you--ha ha--
you don't like it.

You realize
that maybe somewhere

in one of these rooms here

we find a future
Beethoven? Or Liszt?

And you, my own son,
all you want is a circus!

A circus with a fella that can
throw cannonballs around, huh?

Well, now, dad,
don't be upset.

Sandow is
a means to an end.

Yeah, to your end.

Look, when you was
a little fella like that--

since then, I've educated
you in music and art.

From your mother
you got the refinement,

taste, culture!

What good has it all done?
What has it done you, eh?

What are you now, anyhow?

A muscle manager!
A beef exhibitor!

Ha ha ha! Then you got
to go on the outside,

and you got to be, uh...

Uh, uh, you got to act
like a dog outside!

You got to act like a dog!

Well, now, father,
wait a minute.

What do you mean, a dog?

You know
what I mean.

I don't mean
you're a dog,

but I mean
you gotta...

You got to go outside
and be a barker!

A barker!
That's a dog, ain't it?

Now, listen, let me
tell you something.

If you go away
from here,

I'll never speak
to you again

as long as I live.

Ah, dad,
you don't mean that.

Yes, I do mean it.
I mean it...

And I mean
every word of it!

Hey, wait a minute!

Now, you just
stop that crying.

Now, you tell your fella
why you're crying.

If you're my fellow,
why are you going away?

Wha--ha ha ha!

Now, look,
you sit right up here,

and I'll tell you
all about it.

Now, I-i-I'll be
honest with you.

I'm not really
your fellow.

You mean you don't
like me anymore?

Ohh, I not only like you.
I love you.

But, you know,

I'm the funniest
kind of a fellow.

I love all the girls.

How can you do that?
Do they let you?

Oh, ho ho, well, no,

you didn't quite understand
what I mean, darling.

Uh, look...

Some people
like beautiful paintings.

Like that one?

Like that one.

Some people love
beautiful flowers.

Like those?

Like those.

Now, I love beautiful
little girls like this one.

And you know what
I'm going to do someday?

What?

I'm going to take
all the beautiful

little girls like you,

and I'm going
to put them together

and make pictures
with them.

Will I be in a picture?

Well, I should
say you will.

But in the meantime,
you know,

I think that we ought
to break our engagement.

Why?

Well, because there
are going to be

lots of little boys
come around

who are going to
want to take you out

and buy you sodas,

and of course
if you're engaged to me,

you can't
go out with them.

Why can't I?

Well, because, if
you're married to me,

I'm not going to have
you running around

with those other boys.

Oh, I couldn't stand
for that.

You couldn't?

Well, of course
I couldn't!

Ha ha ha ha!

Well, what are
you laughing at?

At you!
You're jealous!

Well, you can just bet
I'm jealous! Ho ho!

Well, now,
I've got to run along.

Whoopee!

Florenz!

Will you be home
to dinner tonight?

Yes, dad.

Well, I'll see
you then.

And in the meantime,
son, remember--

anything you do,
I wish you luck.

I knew you would.

Hold it,
Mr. Ziegfeld!

Thank you, thank you.

Greetings! Greetings
to San Francisco...

From my troupe

including the strongest man
in the world, sandow!

Uh... uh...

Humane society?

Say, what's this I read
in the papers

about a lion and a bear?

Well, is your society going
to tolerate such an atrocity?

Are you going to spill the blood
of 2 dumb animals

over the good name
of San Francisco?

Well, I didn't think
you would permit such cruelty.

Why, it would be a crime
to send a poor grizzly bear

into a cage with
a man-eating lion.

A crime!

Ha ha ha!

Ho ho ho!

What's so funny?

Oh, you wouldn't
understand,

because you don't know
Ziegfeld.

But the police
are after him,

and this paper's
2 weeks old,

so he's probably in jail
by now. Ha ha ha!

Well do you know him,
Jack?

Oh, yeah,
he's a pal of mine.

Ha ha--

Hello!

Well, Jack,
this is a surprise!

Yes.

Certainly glad
to see you aboard.

Yes, well,
I'm glad I'm--

pardon me, I'll be back
in a few minutes, darling.

Oh, uh...

I thought perhaps
you were...

Hey, who is she?

You'll never know.

Tell me, what
happened in Frisco?

Did you really send
sandow in

against a lion?

Sure, but the lion
wouldn't fight.

Ha ha. Wouldn't
or couldn't?

Well, to tell you
the truth, Jack,

I, uh, didn't stay
for the finish.

I sort of thought
that, uh...

Ha ha.

Well, where is
sandow now?

Oh, he's in New York.

He's gone into
the legitimate.

What do you think
of that?

He's with Lillian Russell
in as you like it.

Yeah, well, I don't
think I'd like it.

What are you going
to Europe for--

another strong man?

Oh, no, no. Just
a little vacation.

London?

Well, uh,
Monte Carlo first.

Oh, you're going to
lose all the money

you made on sandow.

No, I'm going
to double it.

Oh, yes.

What are you
going over for--

another little Egypt?

Oh, no, no.
Just a rest.

Of course if I see any
exceptional talent,

I'll pick it up.

Oh, naturally.
So will I.

Oh, you got
anybody in mind?

No, no.

Why? Do you?

No, no.

Only the greatest
artist in Europe,

that's all.

Well, who's that?

If I told you,

you'd cross me before
we'd cross the ocean.

Gentlemen...

Miss Carlisle
wishes to know

whether there will be
3 for tea or just 2.

Oh, just 2.
Yes, just 2.

Heh heh heh.

Heh heh.

Oh, it's, uh,
miss Carlisle, huh?

Yes, sir.

Oh, thank you,
you're, uh...

You're Mr. Billings'
man, are you?

Yes, sir.

Well, very efficient.
What's your name?

Sidney, sir.

Sidney.

How much does Mr. Billings
pay you, Sidney?

100 a month, sir.

Only--well, that's
not very much, is it?

I hadn't thought
of it, sir.

Well, think of it,
Sidney.

Standard evening news!

Standard evening news!

Oh, uh, take care of
the luggage, will you?

And tip the doorman,
Sidney.

Yes, sir.

You have a reservation
for Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr.?

Yes, sir. Will you
register, please?

Surely.

Is Mr. Billings
still here?

Yes, sir,
on your floor.

Oh, yes.

Boy,
rooms 325 and 26.

Thank you.

Sidney!
Well, you--you ingrate!

You deserter, you!

Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.

Yes, well, why didn't you
tell me you were dissatisfied?

you pirate!

Now, now, wait
a minute, Jack.

Gentlemen
don't quarrel

over gentlemen's
gentlemen.

Oh, you--you--

let me tell you
the whole story.

And if you're
still angry,

Sidney can go back
with you.

Oh, I wouldn't--

now, look, Jack,
it was this way--

I've always envied you--

your dress, your style,
the way you look.

So that when
I saw your valet,

and I realized
that it was he

who took such
magnificent care of you,

well, I just couldn't
resist the temptation

of hiring him
for myself.

Ha ha. You mean you
wanted to look like me?

Well, that's right,
Jack.

I wanted to look
just like you.

Heh heh heh. You faker.

What are you doing here?

I thought you weren't going
to be in London for weeks.

Oh, well,
that's a long story.

You know,
I was going to, uh,

break the bank
at Monte Carlo?

Yes, I know, but the bank
broke you, huh?

What did you lose?

$50,000.

Ho ho ho! What
have you got left?

50 cents.

Uh, 50 cents.
Well, I'll see you later.

But, Jack, wait
a minute. Ha ha.

Lend me 5,000,
will you?

Ha ha ha!

Well, will you--
will you make it 2,500?

If I gave you $2,500,

by the time you'd
tipped 6 bellboys,

you'd be broke again.

Listen, Jack,
I really need it.

I'll tell you
what I'll do.

I'll give you $500

if you'll catch the next
boat back to New York.

There's one leaving
in the morning.

How's that?
Fair enough?

Well, it's fair,
but not enough.

Will you sail with me?

Oh, no, Mr. Ziegfeld,

I have business
in London.

Oh, haven't you got the world's
greatest artist yet?

No, not yet,
but I will have.

Heh heh,
who is it, Jack?

Ho ho.

Aw, go on,

you can tell me now.
I'm broke.

No, I won't tell you

till I have her name
on the dotted line.

Ah, it's a her,
is it?

Yes, and a beautiful
her, too,

and she's signing
the contract tonight.

Good-bye, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Good-bye, Mr. Billings.

I say, doorman!
Yes, sir?

Did Mr. Billings
come out?

Just this moment
drove away, sir.

Oh, that's too bad.

I've got a very important
message for him.

Do you know
where he went?

Yes, sir, the palace
music hall, sir.

Palace music hall?
Is it a good show?

Oh, not so much, sir.

Except for the little
French actress, sir.

She's truly wonderful!

She has eyes
this big, sir,

and every time
she blinks them at you,

well, you jolly well
blink yourself, sir.

Have you seen
Anna held, sir?

No, no, I haven't,
but I will... Tonight.

I say, sir, do you
realize you gave me £5?

Oh, yes, I'm trying
to lose weight.

♪ I have not been here
very long ♪

♪ Yes, yes,
I'm quite a stranger ♪

♪ And so to try
an English song ♪

♪ May seem perhaps
a danger ♪

♪ One plea I make ♪

♪ A favor slight ♪

♪ I hope you'll not
refuse me ♪

♪ But if I don't
pronounce it right ♪

♪ You kindly
will excuse me ♪

♪ I'm fond of games
and fun, you see ♪

♪ I wish you'd come
and play with me ♪

♪ For I have
such a way with me ♪

♪ A way with me,
a way with me ♪

♪ I have such a nice
little way with me ♪

♪ Do not think it's wrong ♪

♪ I should like you
to play with me ♪

♪ To play with me ♪

♪ To play with me ♪

♪ I wish you'd come
and play with me ♪

♪ Play with me
all the day long ♪

♪ Oh, I have such
a way with me ♪

♪ A way with me,
a way with me ♪

♪ I have such
a nice little way with me ♪

♪ Do not think it's wrong ♪

♪ I should like you
to play with me ♪

♪ To play with me,
to play with me ♪

♪ I wish you'd come
and play with me ♪

♪ Play with me
all the day long ♪

♪ La-la ♪

Ooh la-la!

Isn't it magnificent?

For me, Marie?

Oui, madame.

From whom?

Whoever gathered all
the orchids in the world

just for me?

I do not know,

but they must have cost
thousands of francs.

Was no card with it?

Oui, madame.

Marie, this is
very strange.

What, madame?

I learn
the English words,

I sing
the English songs,

and yet
I cannot read English.

What shall that mean?
Please read it to me.

"My dear miss held,

"it is very important
to your future

"that you see me before
signing any contracts.

"I shall be waiting
at the stage entrance

"immediately after
your performance.

Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr."

Who's this Florenz
Ziegfeld, Jr.?

I do not know, madame.

And why the junior?
Is he a little boy?

I do not know, madame.

Boop!

I will not see this
Mr. Ziegfeld, Jr.

You will see
monsieur billings, oui?

Oui.

Oh, Marie, these flowers
are very nice.

I think I am polite

and see this monsieur
junior Ziegfeld.

But monsieur billings is
coming to talk to you

about the great
American tour.

Has madame forgotten
his cables?

Oh, yes, that's all right,

but these flowers
are very beautiful.

Oui, madame.

Oh, Jack,
she's all right.

Yeah, I know she is
without you telling me.

I wish you wouldn't
keep following me.

Oh, all right.

Well, good night.

Good night.

I wish you
wouldn't annoy me.

Miss held
is expecting me.

I'm going to sign
the contract tonight.

Ooh, that's great.

You bet it is.

I said it was.

Yes, well,
good night.

Good night.

Will you stop
shadowing me?

Jack, I'm not
following you.

I just happen to
be going your way.

Oh, you've got a date with
a chorus girl, I suppose.

You're going to
spend that $500.

I can't spend it.
I've spent it.

Oh, you've spent it.
Well, good night.

Good night.

I--i beg your pardon,
sir, but--

oh, I have an appointment
with miss held.

Oh, I see.

Is Mr. Ziegfeld
out here?

Oh, no--

yes, my dear.
I'm Mr. Ziegfeld.

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld,

miss held would like you
to come in, please.

Well, but--

would you mind that for me?
Well, good night, Jack.

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld,
your orchids!

They are the most beautiful
orchids I have ever seen.

Won't you come in,
monsieur Ziegfeld?

Your flowers
are so beautiful.

I could not resist
the temptation to thank you.

Miss held.

Oui?

Do you mind
my telling you

that you should
never

wear so many jewels
on your hands?

You think so?

Some women, yes,
but your hands, no.

Oh, that's a very nice
compliment.

Did you hear that, Marie?

Oui, madame.

Won't you sit down,
monsieur Ziegfeld?

Thank you.

I did not know Americans
could be so gallant.

Tell me, monsieur Ziegfeld,
are you in the theater?

Yes. I'm a producer.

You're a PR--

did you hear that, Marie?

Monsieur Ziegfeld is
an American producer!

Do you know monsieur,
uh, uh, billings?

Billings?

Oui.

Billings.

He's American
producer, too.

Oh, is that so?
Oui.

No, I've never
heard of him.

Of course, not
in New York, that is.

America's a big country,
miss held.

We still have many
producers in the west

putting on shows
for the Indians.

Indians? Do you
mean the savages?

Yes.

Did you hear that,
Marie?

Oui, madame.

I do not think
I will like America.

Oh, you'll love
New York.

Would New York love me?

I think so.

You only think so.

Did you not like
my performance?

Yes and no.

Yes and no.
What shall that mean?

Does it mean yes or no?

Well, both.

Did you not care
for my singing, no?

Yes. A trifle nasal,
I thought, but yes.

And you did not like
my costumes either.

No, I thought one dress
was very effective,

but the rest, no.

Monsieur Ziegfeld,
I think you're very rude!

Please go!

Marie, open the door!

Monsieur Ziegfeld!

Yes?

Come back, please.

Sit down.

You know,
you are very honest.

I like you very much.

Your note says

it is important
to my future to see you.

Why is that?

If you want to play
in New York, it is.

But I have many offers
for New York now.

Oh, I've no doubt of that,
but so have many others.

You know, there's foreign talent
going into New York every day.

But what happens to them?

What?

Well, they open
at Tony pastor's theater,

and they get the hook.

The hook, what is that?

Hook, a little thing
you catch fish with.

You know, a hook?

Now, if I take you over,

I'll present you
on Broadway...

In a great show

in the best theater
to the best people.

I'll exploit you
from coast to coast.

Exploit? What is that?

I'll put you over,
I'll sell you.

Sell me?

To the public,

and I'll make them
pay for you.

And how much
will you pay me?

I'll advertise your name
from every corner.

Women will be wearing
Anna held hats,

Anna held shoes,
Anna held corsets.

Even the children
will know you.

But how about
the money?

How much
will you pay me?

I'll give you
more publicity

than you've ever
dreamed of.

Yes, that's all right.

But how much money
will you give me?

I'll give you
the greatest opening night

that New York has ever had.

You'll see the Goulds,
the Astors, the Vanderbilts.

Diamond Jim Brady,
Lillian Russell--

Lillian Russell?

Yes.

Oh, I would so much
like to see her.

Oh, well...

No, no. At first you must
speak about the money,

because
I have so many offers now.

I'll meet
your biggest offer.

Really?

Well, that is
very nice of you.

But maybe when you
hear how much it is,

you don't think
I'm worth so much.

How much is it?

Oh, they are
all very good,

but the highest one is
that of Mr. Billings.

He says he will give
me 50,000 francs

besides my salary,
which is very big,

just to sign
the contract.

That is how much in
American money, Marie?

$10,000, madame.

$10,000, monsieur.

$10,000.

Oui, that's
a very big amount.

And even if you would
give me the $10,000

and I would sign
with you,

you still would have
to wait

till I finished
my London engagement.

I couldn't do that.

You couldn't even
wait for me?

I couldn't even give you
the $10,000.

Oh. You think
it's too much, huh?

I think it
isn't enough.

But I haven't it.

What, uh, you expect

I should sign a contract
for America with you?

And you don't even have
$10,000?

I haven't even 1,000.

I did have before I
stopped off at Monte Carlo,

but right now,
I haven't even 100.

But I'll spread
your name all over--

this is enough!

You just tried to
make the fool of me.

You are the impostor!
You are no gentleman!

Please go!
Marie, open the door!

Oui, madame.

Monsieur Ziegfeld!

Come back, please!

Sit down.

You know,
you are very honest.

I like you very much.

Mr. Vanderbilt's carriage!
Mr. Van Rensselaer's carriage!

She has big eyes,
doesn't she?

Yeah, but I couldn't understand
a word she said.

I'll take Lillian Russell
for my money.

Mr. Astor's carriage!

Did you like her?

Cute, but I don't know.

Did you notice
the empty seats?

Miss Russell's
carriage!

I think she's charming.

Why, there's
Lillian Russell.

Mr. Thor's
carriage!

Never mind. I don't
want a carriage.

Well?

The show's all right,
if they had an American star.

Mrs. Harriman's
carriage!

Mr. Stuyvesant's
carriage!

Ha ha ha!
Made a bad bet, Jim.

May I have your carriage
called, Mr. Brady?

Yes, thank you, son.

Oh, Ziggy, heh heh heh,

Stanford and I just made
a little wager.

He bet me 5,000

that I wouldn't get back
the 10,000 you borrowed

to bring Anna over here.

Mr. Brady's
carriage!

I'll split your end
of the bet 50/50

with you, Mr. White.

I told you so.
I told you so.

Well, what's a few
thousand dollars anyway?

Mr. Chandler's
carriage!

Mr. Saks' carriage!

Balcony 22.

Well, Sampston,
what's the loss this week?

The show earned a profit
of $1,340.32.

You drew $2,550,

which gives us
a loss of $1,209.68.

Well, that's terrible.

We can't keep the show running
with losses like that.

Say, where's sage?

Upstairs.

Oh, what a press agent!
Never around!

Here, take a wire to him.

But he's just upstairs
in his office, Mr. Ziegfeld.

I know it.
Take a wire anyway.

Yes, sir.

How do you expect
to do business

without publicity? Stop.

Anna held was the sensation
of Europe. Stop.

Appeared before kings
and queens. Stop.

Yet you get nothing in
the papers about her. Stop.

You're ruining me. Stop.

If you're a press agent,
I'm president Cleveland.

Stop.

Beg pardon.

♪ It's delightful
to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be
be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house,
a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy
as a Bumblebee ♪

♪ But it's better
to be Jolie ♪

♪ To be be be be be
be be be be be Jolie ♪

♪ When you-- ♪

Pardon, madame.

It is not Jolie.
It is Jolie.

Jolie. that's what
I said, Jolie.

Oh, no, it's my mistake.
I mean jolly.

Jolly.

Good.

Please, let's start
again. Jolly.

♪ But it's better
to be Jolie ♪

♪ To be be be be be
be be be be be Jolie ♪

♪ When you laugh
and play the livelong day ♪

♪ Oh, that's the life
for me ♪

No, no, no.

I won't sing today.
I can't sing today.

I'm much too much
insides... Here.

Much too much.

Marie!

Marie!

Oui, madame!

It's so silly!

It's so silly
for Anna held

to take
singing lessons.

Ah, but monsieur Ziegfeld
did not ask me

to teach you to sing.

I simply want
to help madame

to lose a little
of her French accent.

But your accent is much
more than my accent,

and I don't want
to lose my accent.

Marie.

Oui, madame.

Did you try to get
monsieur Ziegfeld again?

He is not home, madame.

Oh, please try it
again.

And the newspaper
reporters?

They are still waiting
in the lobby, madame.

Oh, tell them
to go away.

Tell the hotel
to push them out.

And tell them we are
going back to France!

Madame!

Oui, Marie. That's
what we will do.

We are going back
to Paris.

Shut up, Pierre!

I'm too happy,
madame!

Happy about what?

We are sailing
for Paris.

Oui!

No.

No?

No, I--i changed
my mind.

Marie, go unpack
my things.

Oui, madame.

You see, it's true.

It is not.

It is.

No!

What is true
and what is not true?

Pierre says madame
is in love

with monsieur Ziegfeld.

Did you say that,
Pierre?

Oui, madame.

Why did you say that,
Pierre?

Because I'm afraid
it's true.

Why are you afraid?

Don't you like
monsieur Ziegfeld?

Oui, madame,
that's the trouble.

Everybody likes him,
especially the ladies.

Oh, madame, you'd never
be happy with him.

You'd never be able
to hold him.

Why, he attracts women

like the flowers
attract bees,

like the flypaper
attract the flies.

Well, that's all right.

I've seen the flies
on the flypaper,

and it seems to me
they stick very well.

Oh, but, madame--

Pierre, please.

How can I love someone
who plays tricks on me?

Puts terrible things
in the newspaper?

Has millions of reporters
annoying me?

Pardon, madame,

the newspapers have been
very nice to you.

Why don't you want
to see the reporters?

Because I know
exactly what it is

they want to ask me.

You do not
understand, no?

Frankly, no, madame.

Oh, then I will tell
you what happened.

2 months ago

monsieur Ziegfeld
says to me,

"Anna, from now on

I'm going to send you
every day a big present."

I say,
"thank you so much, Flo."

I mean, Mr. Ziegfeld.

"But already you send me
orchids every morning."

Those are from him.

But he says, "no, Anna,

this is something
much more important."

So naturally
I cannot wait to see

what he sends me.

And the next day what
do you think I get?

A diamond ring?

No.

A bracelet?

No.
4 big cans of milk.

Milk!

20 gallons!

20 gallons of milk?

20 gallons of milk.

Ha! ♪ 20 gallons
of milk, la la ♪

♪ 20 gallons
of milk, la la ♪

♪ La la la la ♪

Shut up!

♪ 20 gallons
of milk ♪

Oh, madame...

Oh, please.

I'm so sorry.

Excuse me.

Well, that night
I say to Flo--

I mean Mr. Ziegfeld--

"Flo, why do you send
me so much milk?"

And he just laughs
and says,

"Anna,
that's a great idea!

You get it from now on
every day."

"Every day 20 gallons
of milk?"

I say, "Flo, who can
drink so much milk?"

And do you know
what he says?

"Don't drink it!
Bathe in it!

And you will be
a big success."

No!

Well, I'm too angry
to speak!

In Paris
I was a big success

because they liked
my voice.

In London
I was a big success

because
they liked my singing.

But in America,
to be a big success,

I need 20 gallons
of milk

and must sit in it!
Ha!

Well, do you bathe
in it, madame?

No, of course not.

But every day
we get the milk,

and every day
we take it in

because monsieur
Ziegfeld says

we must
carry out his idea.

And what happened?

Did you read this
morning the paper?

No, madame.

Read.

"Ziegfeld is sued for
Anna held's milk bill."

On the front page.

20 gallons of milk!

Oh, I'm so ashamed.

Marie, please
call him again.

If he's not there,
just leave the message.

Tell him I do not want

one can more of milk
from him!

And I don't want
the orchids either!

Allo?

Oh, those reporters
again.

Tell them no,
positively no.

I do not want
to speak to them.

Madame, it is
monsieur Ziegfeld.

Oh, I don't want to
speak to him either.

I never wish to speak
to him again!

Bien, madame.

Where is he?

Downstairs in
the lobby, madame.

Tell him to come up.

But if he brings
one of those reporters,

we just don't let him in.

No, no, no, Pierre!
Let them on the floor!

I want him
to see them there!

I make him pick them up.

He embarrasses me!
I embarrass him!

Madame! If you will
take my advice,

you'll not appear
so excited!

Yes, you are right,
Pierre.

Pierre, play! Play!
I sing for you, yes.

Just like he's not here.

We'll let him wait
till I'm finished.

Come on, play, play,
play, play.

♪ It's delightful
to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be
be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house,
a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy
like a Bumblebee ♪

♪ But it's better
to be jolly ♪

Your missis is in lovely
voice today, Marie.

Oui, monsieur.
You will see.

♪ Ooh, that's the life
for me ♪

Marie, someone
has apparently

spilled the orchids.

Now, will you phone
Sidney for me?

Have him send up
another dozen

immediately.

Bien, monsieur.

Well?

Why do you not
pick these up?

Because fallen
flowers, my dear,

are like fallen stars.

They soon lose
their luster.

Marie, pick them up.

No, no, no,
I cannot sing today.

I told you before I'm
much too angry to sing,

and I'm sick
of watching you

roll your eyes
like I do.

Please go home, yes?
I give you your notes.

Please, take this.
Go home, yes?

Go.

So, I'm
a fallen star, yes?

I have no luster,
no?

Oh, yes, you have,
my dear.

But do you know
what it comes from?

I don't care!

What?

Milk baths.

Or at least that's what you
must tell the reporters.

I'm so hurt!

The front page
of the paper

says you are sued
on my account!

If you must
send me milk,

why don't you
pay for it?

If I did, it wouldn't
be in the papers.

Can't you tell them
I just used the milk

without buying it
and being sued for it?

They wouldn't
believe it.

Now it's a matter
of court record.

Besides,
they don't care

whether I ever pay
the bill or not.

All that interests them
is that in 2 months

you've used 1,200 gallons
of milk.

This is terrible!

Marie, ask the reporters
to come up.

Marie! Do nothing
of the kind!

Anna, you must not
insult the press.

If they come up,
I tell the truth.

No, at first
tell them nothing.

Desk, please.

Pretend
embarrassment.

Pretend it!
I was never so ashamed!

Desk clerk,

are the gentlemen
of the press

still waiting
for miss held?

What are you doing?

Oh, yes,
if you will, please.

I will say
I never in my life

took a milk bath.

I will tell them
it is all a press story!

I will go back to France!

Marie,
pack the things!

Quick!
Oui, madame.

This time
I mean it!

You cannot make
a circus of me!

I am not a strong man
like sandow!

I do not lift persons!

I'm a real artist,

and I never, never,
never will say that.

Yes? Oh, ask them to
come right up, please.

Ohh!

Anna,
don't you realize

that if we
put this story over,

your name
will be in headlines

from coast to coast.

Every woman
in the country

will be talking
about you,

imitating you.

I don't care!

I do not have to be
a cow to be a success!

And before I make
such a fool of myself,

I tear up my contract
with you. So!

Here. And besides...

And besides,
you do nothing

as I like to have
it.

It must all be
your way!

I ask you
a thousand times

to have costumes
like Lillian Russell.

She has not
to take milk baths

to be a big success!
She is beautiful!

But no, I cannot
have gowns like her!

There now! Tell the
reporters about that!

Anna.

I mean it!
I'm determined.

Anna.

You let the reporters
come up, yes?

All right,
I tell them everything.

Anna...

Well, I--i should
tell them... No?

No.

Now, you do what
I ask you to, darling...

And I'll do
whatever you wish.

You mean, you let me
have gowns

like Lillian
Russell?

Oh, no, darling.
You're not her type.

But I'll tell you
what I will do.

What?

I'll put 8 Lillian Russells
on the stage behind you.

♪ It's delightful
to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be
be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house,
a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy
like a Bumblebee ♪

♪ But it's better
to be Jolie ♪

♪ To be be be be be
be be be be be Jolie ♪

♪ When you laugh
and play the livelong day ♪

♪ Well, that's
the life for me ♪

♪ It's delightful
to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be
be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house,
a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy
like a Bumblebee ♪

Isn't Anna
beautiful?

I wonder if the milk baths
really make her skin so nice.

Oh, they most
certainly do.

I've been taking them
for a long time.

♪ ...that's
the life for me ♪

♪ It's delightful
to be married ♪

♪ To be be be be be
be be be be be married ♪

♪ With a house,
a man, a family ♪

♪ You should be happy
like a Bumblebee ♪

♪ But it's better
to be jolly ♪

♪ To be be be be be be
be be be be Jolie ♪

♪ When you laugh
and play the livelong day ♪

♪ Well, that's
the life for me ♪

Oh, Marie, were they not
wonderful tonight?

And the girls!
Don't they look gorgeous!

Marie.

Look... from my Flo.

Oh, my Flo.

Oh, Marie! Marie!
You read what he says.

Oui, madame.

Read it to me, quick!

What does it say?

"My darling, I never
knew that one long year

"could seem like
one short moment.

"You are magnificent,
my wife.

Flo."

Oh, Marie.

Marie, did you hear that?

I just read it,
madame.

No, no. Did you hear
what he says?

"You are magnificent,
my wife."

Oh, madame,
look! Look!

Ahh!

Marie!

Come on, help me.

Isn't it gorgeous?

Oh, madame, look, look!
Here's another one!

Oh, Marie!

Oh, that makes me
so much inside here.

Much too much.

First he gives me all
the flowers in the world,

and now he takes the stars
from the heavens...

Just for me.

"You're magnificent,
my wife."

Am I magnificent,
Marie?

Oui, madame.

No, no, no.

He's magnificent,
not I.

Marie!

Marie, I must show
them to the girls!

I come back immediately!

When Mr. Ziegfeld comes,

please tell him
he shall wait!

Girls, would you like to
see something wonderful?

Oh, what is it?

Look! And this, too!

Diamonds!

From my husband!

May I try
the bracelet?

Yes, sure.

Audrey, are you
not interested

in my presents?

I would be
if they were mine.

But, Audrey,

you will have many
of them someday.

Maybe you have
to work a little,

to suffer a little.

But what is that,
hmm?

I'll work,
but I won't suffer.

Oh, ho.

Here you are,
dear.

Isn't it beautiful,
Audrey?

I'll say it is.

I'd give my soul
for one like it.

That would be a very
bad bargain, Audrey.

All right, that's fine!
Tie it off!

Buddy, you're better
with your feet

than you are
with your broom.

Mr. Ziegfeld...
You think so?

Gee, I wish
you'd give me a chance.

I've got talent.

And I'd like to get away
from shifting scenery

and moving props.

How long have you been
a property boy?

5 years. But my heart
hasn't been in it.

You've been working
a long time

without your heart,
buddy.

Ha ha ha ha!

That tickle you?

It does, and this weekly
return tickles me more.

Look,
a profit of $5,000.

Now, if you'll
just be conservative,

I mean, live reasonably.

Don't incur any
fresh obligations.

Forget that you've
any charge accounts,

and you'll soon--

Sampston,
you're right. I will.

Darling!

Oh, Anna.

Anna.

You're the sweetest
husband

in the whole world.

You--
Mr. Sampston!

Look.
From my husband...

On our
anniversary.

This and this.

Are they not
gorgeous diamonds?

Yes, indeed, miss held,
gorgeous.

Good night,
Mr. Ziegfeld.

Good night,
sampston.

He didn't seem very happy
about my presents, oui?

Anna,
men who keep books

are never
very happy.

Marie, you go out
for a while.

He is my maid
tonight.

Go, go, go, go.

Oh, I am,
am I?

Yes, you are.

Later on I count
all the diamonds

in the bracelet
and the necklace

and give you kiss
for each one.

And what about
the orchids?

Don't I get anything
for them?

Oui, oui.

For each petal
of each orchid,

another kiss extra.

So...

Take off my stocking,
please.

You know, this might
get to be a habit.

Flo,
you're wonderful.

You know that?

I suspect it.

Everything you promise
me, you do.

Everything you say
will happen, happens.

And now I am a big
success in America,

thanks to you.

Ohh!

Why do you do that,

when I am trying to say
nice things to you?

Besides, you're
a very bad mate...

But I love you.

Flo...

What?

Flo... are you
as happy as I am?

Happier.

Why do you ask?

Because sometimes
I think I am too happy.

Sometimes I get afraid

it won't be always
like this,

working only for you,

while you do the show
just for me.

Couldn't I do
another show

without spoiling
our happiness?

Of course you could.
Don't be silly.

Do you want to do
another show?

Well, darling...

Now that you've made
such a tremendous success,

I have a little idea
that I'd like to carry out.

Idea for a show?

Mm-hmm.
The biggest kind of a show.

With music and girls?

Beautiful girls,
and--

without me, oui?

Well, darling, you couldn't
do 2 shows at once, could you?

Hmm?

Now, Anna, see here.

Suppose we go down
to rector's

and celebrate
our anniversary, hmm?

No, I don't--

just you and I
and a bottle of wine?

I don't feel
like it.

Come on now, dear.

No, I'm so nervous.

It'll be good for you.

I'm so tired.

I'm so disappointed
in you I could scream!

Now, Anna--

I mean it.

I thought you loved me

more than anything
in the world.

I thought I am
your one ideal,

your only ambition.

Anna--

no.

I think only of you,

and I thought you will
only think of me.

But it is not so.

You have big plans
without me.

You will do a big show.
You will go broke again!

Anna,
you're jealous.

No, Flo!

Yes.

Don't say that,
no, no, no!

I hate jealous people,
and, oh...

I--i don't know
what's...

I'm angry, and
I wish you would go.

Please, please...

Please go, go!

Go!

Marie!

Marie...

Flo...

Ohh!

Good morning,
Mr. Billings.

Good morning, miss Drake.
Any messages for me?

Nothing important,

except Mr. Erlanger
wants to see you today.

Oh.

And Mr. Ziegfeld is
waiting in your office.

Well, why in my office
instead of out here?

I thought he'd be

a little more
comfortable in there.

Well, I...
Oh yes, I see.

To what do I owe
the honor

of this visit,
Mr. Ziegfeld?

Mr. Billings, if you've
ever had it in for me,

you've certainly
avenged yourself.

This is positively
the worst cigar

that I've ever smoked
in my life.

How are you, Jack?

All right,
how are you, Ziggy?

Never better.
Sit down, won't you?

Thank you,
nice of you.

Jack, I'm here to do you
a great favor.

Yes, I know, but I'm sorry
I can't take advantage of it.

I'm broke. That's why
I'm hooked up with erlanger.

Oh, well
that's fine for me.

He's just the man
I need.

Jack, I want to do
a new show,

a big show,

and I'm willing to split
the entire thing 50/50

with erlanger,
and all he has to do

is to put up the money
and furnish the theaters.

Oh, that's all?

That's all.

Of course, you'd
furnish the star.

Oh, this isn't for Anna.
Anna's show is all set.

No, in this one...

I want to star
the girls.

Oh, don't be
ridiculous.

Without personalities
you haven't got a chance.

Oh, I'll have personalities,
all right,

lots of personalities.

But they'll mostly be
blondes and brunettes.

What are you going
to call this opera?

I'm going to call it
the Ziegfeld follies.

Follies.
Follies, all right.

So what's
the matter with that?

That's a good title.

What's so unusual
about a girl show?

We've got plenty
on the circuit now.

Oh, I don't mean
that kind.

They're way
out of date.

Why, you're using
the same scenery

that you used
20 years ago,

wood wings and flats.

I want to do a show
with silk drapes,

with lace,

with beautiful girls,

and I'm going
to dress them,

not for the bald heads
in the front row,

but for the women
in the last row.

I want to surround them
with glamour, glitter...

Glorify them.

Say... there's
a good word, Jack.

Glorify.

It sounds all right if
you know what it means.

It'll look
all right, too.

"Glorifying
the American girl."

Well, where are you
going to find

all these beautiful
young ladies?

I'll take them from homes,

from stores, from shops...

Oh...

From offices.

I beg
your pardon, sir...

Mr. Erlanger would
like to see you now.

Oh, all right.

Yes, well,
that'll do, miss Drake.

Yes, sir.

Now, listen, Ziggy,
not her.

She's the best stenographer
I ever had.

Ha ha ha!
All right, Jack.

Here, here.

You will buzz the little
giant, won't you?

Oh, yes,
I'll tell him about it,

but I doubt if
he'll be interested.

Well, he's missing
a great opportunity.

Yes, I know.

But, well, I'll drop you
a line about it.

Perhaps tomorrow.

Wire me,
will you, Jack?

Well, if you'd
rather hear

the sad news sooner,
I'll wire.

What's that?

They won't give us

our share of
the profits?

All right!

Open them in Boston,

jump them
to New Orleans,

and then on to Frisco.

Funny thing, billings.

You just can't be nice
to some people.

Yes, that's
what I was thinking.

Ziegfeld
was just here.

Yeah?
What did he want?

Well, remember when
he stole Anna held

right from under my nose?

And then, so I
couldn't get her back,

he married her

and made enough money
on her to retire?

Now he comes back,
broke again,

asking me to ask you

for the money
to put on a new show!

Well, that's nerve.

Heh heh!

What do you want me
to do?

Give him the money.

Tickets for Eddie cantor
and will Rogers! $50 a pair!

Tickets, boys?

Standing room only.

♪ I have got a sweetie
known as Susie ♪

♪ In the words of Shakespeare,
she's a wow ♪

♪ Though all of you
may know her, too ♪

♪ I'd like to shout right now ♪

♪ If you knew Susie ♪

♪ Like I know Susie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh,
what a girl ♪

♪ There's none so classy
as this fair Lassie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, holy Moses,
what a chassis ♪

♪ We went riding,
she didn't balk ♪

♪ Back from Yonkers,
I'm the one who had to walk ♪

♪ If you knew Susie ♪

♪ Like I know Susie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, what a girl! ♪

♪ If you knew Susie ♪

♪ Like I know Susie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh,
what a girl ♪

♪ She wears long tresses ♪

♪ And nice tight dresses ♪

♪ Oh, oh, what a future
she possesses ♪

♪ Out in public,
how she can yawn ♪

♪ In a parlor,
you would think the war was on ♪

♪ If you knew Susie ♪

♪ Like I know Susie ♪

♪ Oh, oh, what a girl! ♪

Come on, girls,

come on, come on,
get up those steps!

Come on!

Do you realize
this is opening night?

You take that brace
and put it down here!

Benny!
What is it?

No word from Baines.
I've only got 2 minutes.

Are you ready to go in
for those steps?

I've built so many steps
for Ziegfeld

they go in
by themselves.

Ohh.

What follows
this number?

Why, the, uh...

Yeah, I know,
Greg Williams.

But have the finale
costumes arrived yet?

Well, Mr. Sampston's
talking to the costumer now.

Oh, I see.
Trouble again.

You can't do this!

It's an unheard-of
procedure!

I'm very sorry,
Mr. Sampston...

I want my money.

But it's preposterous!
Ridiculous!

No money,
no finale costumes.

It's a holdup!

Oh, hello...

You can't do this
to Mr. Ziegfeld.

W-Wait here
a minute.

Allen!

Yes, sir.

Where's Mr. Ziegfeld?

I haven't seen him
for the last 10 minutes.

Run up and see if he's
in the front of the house.

Yes, sir.
No, no. I'll go.

Yes, sir.
No, no. You go.

No, you send
somebody else.

Yes, sir. Joe!

Tell him I must
see him immediately.

The show depends on it.

Yes, sir.

This is going to be
the death of me.

This is awful.

Wait here for me.
Mm-hmm.

You will wait?

You bet I will.

Yes?

Hello, Sam.
How are y'all?

Mr. Rogers.

You look kind of worried.
What's on your mind, Sam?

I was looking
for Mr. Ziegfeld.

Ah, just
a minute, Sam.

Mr. Ziegfeld,
it's very important.

The costumer's--

bill, the audiences love
to hear you talk.

Well, shucks, Flo.

I, uh, I can't talk
any more than I do.

I gotta get the rope tricks
in, don't I?

I think they like to hear
your wisecracks better.

Well, uh, perhaps they do...
But what'll I talk about?

I ain't got anything
to say that's funny.

Mr. Ziegfeld--

now wait
a minute, Sam.

Your wife tells me

that you keep her
laughing all the time,

just about things
you read in the papers.

Oh, I catch on.

Betty's been putting you
up to this, huh?

Well, I, uh...

Got a sort of a habit
of telling her

that all I know is what
I read in the papers,

and she says that's what I
oughta tell the audience.

Just sort of be
kind of a running gag.

She's right.

Oh, sure,
Betty's always right.

But she don't have to
stand out on the stage

and catch those
overripe tomatoes

if the gag don't work.

Mr. Ziegfeld,
I must interrupt you.

Yeah?

The finale costumes
are here.

Oh, good.
Will you do it, bill?

I might.

But the costumers
won't leave them

without the money.

Give them a check.
Will you do it tonight?

Maybe.

They want the cash.

Do you mean to tell me

that they sent the costumes
for this show C.O.D.?

No, sir,
not this show.

They want some money
on the last show.

Reckon you kinda got your shows
mixed up, ain't you, Flo?

Well, I reckon,
a little.

Well, if I can help you out
on the costumes or anything,

why, let me know.

Oh, thanks, bill,
but I'm all right.

Well,
tell me if I can.

Of course, uh,
I don't suppose

it makes a lot
of difference,

'cause even with
the costumes on,

the girls in this show...

Ain't exactly
overdressed.

Ha ha!

You save your wisecracks
for the audience, bill.

Ha ha ha!

Hey, buddy! Hey!

Yes?

What's this?

Your opening night,
your big chance,

and you're still
moving scenery?

Well, I can't help it,
Mr. Ziegfeld.

It gets in the blood.

Besides, I don't know
how I'm going to go over

on the roof tonight,

and I don't want to
lose one job

until I'm sure
of the other.

Well, don't forget,

when I hired you
as an actor,

I fired you
as a stagehand.

You better make good.

You'll find yourself
without any job.

Well, what seems
to be the trouble?

No trouble, I hope,
Mr. Ziegfeld, except--

except he's
holding us up!

He refuses to leave
the costumes unless he--

unless he gets some money,

and he's quite right,
sampston.

Let me see
the costumes first.

At once, Mr. Ziegfeld,
at once. Open up the basket.

I tell you, Mr. Ziegfeld,
these dresses are wonderful.

The finest work
I have ever done.

Look, Mr. Ziegfeld,
isn't it stunning?

Perhaps you made
a mistake.

This isn't for me.

Oh, yes, Mr. Ziegfeld,
for the finale.

Not my finale.

Mr. Schultz, this is the
new Amsterdam theater.

This is the follies.

I know, Mr. Ziegfeld,

and this is the costume
for the finale.

Well,
not for my show.

Why, I couldn't let
my girls appear

in a thing
like that.

That's horrible!
Oh, take it away.

But, Mr. Ziegfeld,
they were made

from the sketches
of your own designer.

You yourself made
the changes on the sketches

when you gave me the order.

Oh, I never ordered a thing
like that in my life.

That's terrible!

Take it away, take it
out of my theater!

But, Mr. Ziegfeld,

I work over 3 weeks
on these dresses.

I have plenty of money
invested in them.

Well, I'm sorry,
but I can't help that.

What do you want to do?
Disgrace me?

No, no, Mr. Ziegfeld,

but please,
do not disgrace me.

I mean,
Mr. Ziegfeld,

please, let your girls
wear my costumes tonight.

No, I wouldn't
humiliate you.

If you are not satisfied,

I will make it up to you
some other way,

but, please do not make me
take them back, Mr. Ziegfeld.

All right,
but just this once.

Send them up
to the dressing rooms.

You see me
in my office next week.

Next month.

Next month.

Thank you very much,
Mr. Ziegfeld.

They are beautiful,
aren't they?

Awfully
expensive.

All right, girls,

places for
the melody number!

He's singing very well
tonight, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Yes,
he's all right,

but there's
too much white.

Merv.
Yes, sir.

He's too white.

Bring up the pink
in your footlights.

Are the steps high enough
for you this time,

Mr. Ziegfeld?

No,
I don't think so.

We could use more,
a lot more.

I'd like to see them
higher.

How's that,
Mr. Ziegfeld?

Yes, that's perfect
now, Merv.

Just keep it
that way

the rest
of the number.

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is like a melody ♪

♪ That haunts you
night and day ♪

♪ Just like the strain ♪

♪ Of a haunting refrain ♪

♪ She'll start upon a marathon
and run around your brain ♪

♪ You can't escape ♪

♪ She's in your memory ♪

♪ By morning, night, and noon ♪

♪ She will leave you and then ♪

♪ Come back again ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is just like a pretty tune ♪

♪ Just like
a beautiful strain ♪

♪ Just like
a haunting refrain ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is just like ♪

♪ A pretty tune ♪

♪ a melody
that haunts you night and day ♪

♪ Just like the strain ♪

♪ Of a haunting refrain ♪

♪ She'll start upon a marathon
and run around your brain ♪

♪ Throughout the world
you'll find ♪

♪ A girl just like
this lovely melody ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is like a melody ♪

♪ She'll bring you
sweet romance ♪

♪ And steal your heart away ♪

♪ Music has charms ♪

♪ She's in your arms ♪

♪ She leads you on ♪

♪ Then she's gone ♪

♪ Fantasy ♪

♪ Mystery ♪

♪ Melody ♪

♪ Rhapsody ♪

♪ Just like
a heavenly rhapsody ♪

♪ She captures you
right from the start ♪

♪ Just like a beautiful melody ♪

♪ She'll play on the strings
of your heart ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is like a melody ♪

♪ That haunts you
night and day ♪

♪ Just like the strain ♪

♪ Of a haunting refrain ♪

♪ She'll start upon a marathon
and run around your brain ♪

♪ You can't escape ♪

♪ She's in your memory ♪

♪ By morning, night, and noon ♪

♪ She will leave you and then ♪

♪ Come back again ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is just like a pretty ♪

♪ Tune ♪

♪ By morning,
night, and noon ♪

♪ She will leave you
and then ♪

♪ Come back again ♪

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is just like ♪

♪ A pretty tune ♪

♪ Just like a melody ♪

♪ A pretty melody ♪

Ain't that something?

Don't you like your
flowers, honey lamb?

They're beautiful, Flossie.
Was there a card?

Oh, sure.
Here it is.

And there was
a package, too.

I done unwrapped
it for you.

You've done looked at it,
too, I suppose.

Oh no, honey lamb,
I never.

Pour me a drink,
Flossie.

Another? Honey lamb,
ain't y'all forgetting

you got a midnight show
to do on the roof tonight?

And ain't y'all forgetting
to pour that drink?

Ha ha ha!

Well, scratch my back,
honey.

Is them diamonds,
or is them stars?

Who sent them to you,
honey lamb?

Who do you think?

I know.
They's from Mr. Zieg--

Here he is now.

Tell him
to come in.

Yes'm.

Audrey.

You were beautiful
tonight.

Thank you.

Flossie,
pour us a drink.

No, please, dear,
no.

I just came
to tell you...

Ooh...

Somebody else

thought you were
beautiful too, oui?

From an old friend.

Not too old,
I hope.

What a beautiful
bracelet, Audrey.

Is this from your
old friend, too?

Do you like it?

Yes, it's charming.

You know,
your friend

must have
very good taste,

because this is just
the sort of jewelry

Flo would like.

I told you someday

you will have
lots of diamonds,

didn't I?

Yes, you did.

And I told you I wouldn't
suffer, remember?

Yes, I do.

Well...

Congratulations
again, Audrey.

I'll see you later.
On the roof, oui?

♪ You gotta pull strings ♪

♪ You gotta pull strings ♪

♪ If you want to go places ♪

♪ You want to see things ♪

♪ You gotta pull strings ♪

♪ Your troubles and cares ♪

♪ Will vanish on wings ♪

♪ If you want to be happy ♪

♪ Living like kings ♪

♪ You gotta pull strings ♪

♪ Don't just
sit there wishin' ♪

♪ If you've got ambition ♪

♪ Be a politician ♪

♪ Get into the swing ♪

♪ It's easy to get ♪

♪ Such wonderful things ♪

♪ But I'm telling you now
that you gotta know how ♪

♪ You gotta pull strings ♪

♪ Ladies ♪

♪ Gentlemen ♪

♪ 1, 2, 3, 4 ♪

♪ You gotta pull strings ♪

♪ Your troubles and cares ♪

♪ Will vanish on wings ♪

♪ If you wanna be happy ♪

♪ Living like kings ♪

♪ You gotta pull strings ♪

♪ Don't just
sit there wishin' ♪

♪ If you've got ambition ♪

♪ Be a politician ♪

♪ Get into the swing ♪

♪ It's easy to get ♪

♪ Such wonderful things ♪

♪ But I'm telling you now
that you gotta know how ♪

♪ You gotta pull strings ♪

♪ If she's riding
in the limousine ♪

♪ With some millionaire
or a college Dean ♪

♪ If she's the grandest thing
you've ever seen ♪

♪ Then she's not my girl ♪

♪ If her smile is like
the southern skies ♪

♪ With California sunshine
in her eyes ♪

♪ If she's the type
that you could idolize ♪

♪ Then she's not the girl
for me ♪

♪ If she's dressed in
new chapeaux ♪

♪ Paris clothes,
fancy hose ♪

♪ Diamond rings
and gorgeous furs ♪

♪ So glorified
that the world is hers ♪

♪ And if she has
that certain Ziegfeld walk ♪

♪ And if she thrills you
with her charm and talk ♪

♪ If she's the toast
of little ol' new yawk ♪

♪ Then she's not their girl ♪

♪ She's not his girl ♪

♪ She's not your girl ♪

♪ She's not my girl ♪

♪ She's
a Ziegfeld follies girl ♪

♪ You're
the inspiration ♪

♪ Of my fondest dreams ♪

♪ Here's the situation ♪

♪ This is how it seems ♪

♪ You can
make me happy ♪

♪ You can
make me blue ♪

♪ All I am or hope to be ♪

♪ Is really up to you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Gee, but
you're wonderful ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Lovely you ♪

♪ You completely satisfy ♪

♪ I feel certain
that is why ♪

♪ There's nobody like you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ So much depends upon you ♪

♪ Tell me true ♪

♪ Will it be my fate
at all? ♪

♪ Will I ever
rate at all? ♪

♪ With somebody like you ♪

♪ Just to think
that you love me ♪

♪ Makes my future
look strong ♪

♪ I swear by stars
above me ♪

♪ I'm darned if I don't feel
like writing a song ♪

♪ A song about you ♪

♪ Music and words
about you ♪

♪ Lovely you ♪

♪ Let me think up
praises for ♪

♪ Let me sing out
praises for ♪

♪ Nobody but you ♪

♪ Just to think
that you love me ♪

♪ Just to think
that you love me ♪

♪ Makes my future
look bright ♪

♪ Makes my future
look bright ♪

♪ I swear by stars
above me ♪

♪ I swear by stars
above me ♪

♪ I'm darned if I don't feel
like writing a song ♪

♪ A song about you ♪

♪ Music and words
about you ♪

♪ Lovely you ♪

♪ Let me think up
praises for ♪

♪ Let me sing out
praises for ♪

♪ Nobody but ♪

♪ Nobody but you ♪

♪ you never looked
so beautiful before ♪

♪ Each time I look at you
I love you more ♪

♪ the things you say
all sound so sweet and tender ♪

♪ What can I do but tell you
I surrender? ♪

♪ you never looked
so perfectly divine ♪

♪ It's almost like a dream
to think you're mine ♪

♪ You're everything lovely ♪

♪ Everything that I adore ♪

♪ You never looked
so beautiful before ♪

♪ You never looked
so perfectly divine ♪

♪ It's almost like a dream
to think you're mine ♪

♪ You are everything lovely ♪

♪ Everything that I adore ♪

♪ You never looked
so beautiful before ♪

♪ You never looked
so beautiful before ♪

She's really quite
beautiful, Flo, oui?

Yes, she is,
isn't she?

You're very much
interested in her, oui?

I'm interested in
all my girls, dear.

But maybe a tiny, little
bit more in her, oui?

A lot more.
She's very unusual.

I could make a great
star out of her,

if she'd
only let me.

Ladies and gentlemen,

on behalf--on behalf
of the rest of the company,

I've been asked to
make a little speech.

Well, you see,
I have a confession to make.

Little Audrey is a wee bit
tight tonight.

No, but seriously...

You really shouldn't
applaud all of us

because everything
we've done we owe to Flo.

You see, I was just
a little chorus girl

when Flo discovered me.

He taught me how to walk
and how to dress

and how to smile.

So...

Well...

Here's to... Flo.

I am afraid you must
forgive miss Lane tonight.

She just passed
through many weeks

of very tedious rehearsals

and the nervous strain
of an opening night.

She's not really herself.

On behalf of
the rest of my company,

I want to thank you.

You've been very kind
to my girls and my stars.

Speaking of stars,

there's a young lady here
tonight who--

in my opinion--

is destined to reach
the top of her profession.

She doesn't work for me,
I'm sorry to say,

but I'm very proud of her.

She's here tonight with her
producer--lucky fellow--

and if she will,

I'm going to ask Sally manners
to take a bow.

Sally manners.

Darned nice of him

to pay my star a tribute
like that, isn't it?

Yes, it is.
I hope you've got her

on a long contract.
Ha ha ha!

Are you ready,
Mr. Ziegfeld?

All ready.

Now, you be signing
the contract but...

Look in the camera
at the same time.

The picture
wouldn't be right

without
the manners smile.

All right?

All right,
shoot!

Those things
horrify me.

Well, Sally,

I think we're both
to be congratulated.

Oh, I feel it's
a great opportunity.

Thank you.

Sage, if you'll
take miss manners

and the boys
into your office,

I'm sure she'll have

some very interesting
things to say to them.

I can tell them
how happy I am right now.

May I
congratulate you?

Thank you.

Right this way,
miss manners.

Right this way.

Where is that girl you said
was a friend of mine?

Here I am.

I--i didn't want
to disturb you.

You, uh,
told them out there

that you were
a friend of mine, huh?

Yes, I did.

Well, I see.

Just to get
into my office, huh?

Smart girl.

Well, I am a friend of yours.
Have you forgotten me?

Oh! Ha ha!
No, no. Of course not.

I, uh, I remember you
very well.

Who am I?

Ha ha! As if
I didn't know.

Do you?

Of course.

I always remember
the time, the place,

and the girl.

It was, uh...
Atlantic city.

Nope.
No?

No.

Well, that's funny.

I seem to remember

a chair
on the boardwalk,

you beside me,
and, uh...

Are you sure it wasn't
Atlantic city?

It might have been
Atlantic city,

but it wasn't me.

Ha ha! Oh, uh...

Oh! Now I remember.

Why, it was right here
in this office.

You came up to see me
about a year ago.

Oh, now it all
comes back to me.

Well, how are you?
Where have you been?

No.
No?

No. You don't
seem to remember

the time, the place,
or the girl.

Ha ha. Well...

Perhaps this
will help you.

Mary Lou!

Well, how's my girl?

How's my fella?

Ha ha! Well,
my little Mary Lou

is a big girl now,
isn't she?

Yes!

Yes, indeed,
a very big girl.

Aren't you glad
to see me?

Yes, I certainly am.

Even if I wasn't
in Atlantic city with you?

Oh... don't be silly.

I--i--i knew you
all the time.

Now, fibber...

Ha ha ha!

Well, how long you
been in New York?

One day.

One day. Have you
seen my father lately?

Yes, just before I left.
Oh, that reminds me,

he told me to give you
a big kiss.

Ha ha... Well...

You know, I think
that in all fairness,

I should tell you that
I am a married man now.

Yes, I know.
I read about it.

It nearly broke my heart.

But being married
in New York

doesn't mean anything,
does it?

Oh, ha ha! Oh, yes,
it does, young lady.

Now, why are you here,
and what can I do for you?

First of all, I want
to give you a big kiss

for all the candy
you sent me.

Well, you-you-you've
already done that twice.

Ha ha.
Now, what else?

Well, I want to
go into the follies.

You do?

Mm-hmm. I've been taking
dancing lessons for 2 years.

Yeah? How do your father
and mother feel about it?

Well, I haven't a father
and mother anymore.

Aw, I'm so sorry,
my dear.

Of course,
Jimmy won't like it.

Who's Jimmy?

He's just another fellow
I've been engaged to.

Oh! Well...

All right, I think
we can look after you.

Do you think we can have
dinner together tonight?

Well, no, no.
I'm afraid we can't.

Oh, Alice.

Yes, sir.

I want you to take
this young lady

down to the stage
and tell Julian

that he's to put her on
as an extra dancer.

Oh, gee,
thank you!

Uh, Mary Lou is an old
friend of mine from Chicago,

and she's a stranger here,

so I'd like you to
sort of look after her.

Yes, sir.

This way, dear.

Ooh, may I say one
thing before I go?

Yes, of course. What?

I forgive you
for not marrying me.

Ha ha ha! All right.
Good-bye, dear.

Good-bye.

Hello, pardon me.

Hello, Alice.
Hey, Flo!

I know--you've got
a new song.

I'll say we have.
Play him the melody, Danny.

Oh, you'll go crazy
over this, Flo.

Mr. Ziegfeld?

I must interrupt you.

This is important.
I've got an idea.

How much
will it save?

This has nothing
to do with money.

You feeling
all right, Sam?

Well, I have my usual headache,
but this is about talent.

Something good
and cheap, no doubt?

Exactly. It's a young lady
of the name of Brice.

Fannie.
Fannie Brice.

She's working
in burlesque.

Say, I've seen
that gal, Flo.

Pretty?

Well,
yes and no.

Shut your eyes
and listen--yes.

Open 'em
and look--no.

But a great
performer.

We should see her
at once, tonight.

♪ Everyone was singing ♪

♪ Dancing, springing ♪

♪ At a wedding yesterday ♪

♪ Yiddle on his fiddle
played some ragtime ♪

♪ And when Sadie
heard him play ♪

♪ She jumped up,
looked him in the eyes ♪

♪ Yiddle swelled his chest
way out ♪

♪ Everyone was taken
by surprise ♪

♪ When they
heard Sadie shout ♪

Can I take
your coat?

Why not?
You bought it for me.

I gave it to you

because you've been
behaving yourself this week.

What are you going
to give me next week?

Shh!
Watch the show.

I don't see how
you can expect to find

any great stars
in a place like this.

Some of our greatest stars

have come from places
like this.

Well, of course,
not being a star yet,

I wouldn't know.

You can be a star,
if you behave yourself.

♪ Yiddle on your fiddle,
play some ragtime ♪

♪ Ladies ♪

♪ Beautiful ladies ♪

♪ In every smart revue ♪

♪ We have our share
of gorgeous girls ♪

♪ And I'll introduce them
to you ♪

♪ My name is Dolly,
hello, hello ♪

♪ My name is Molly ♪

♪ Just in case
you wanna know ♪

♪ My name is Rosie,
I'm fancy free ♪

♪ My name is Josie,
yes, sir, that's me ♪

♪ Just call me Violet ♪

♪ Just call me Kay ♪

♪ I'm known as Trixie ♪

♪ I'm known as may ♪

♪ We're here to greet you ♪

♪ Want you to know ♪

♪ We'd like to meet you ♪

♪ At the finish
of the show ♪

♪ We're here
to meet you ♪

♪ Want you to know ♪

♪ We'd like to meet you ♪

♪ At the finish
of the show ♪

♪ My name is Beatrice ♪

♪ If you have to know ♪

♪ I'll be your baby ♪

♪ At the finish
of the show ♪

♪ See how I'm dressed up
in native style ♪

♪ I'm the queen
from the jungle ♪

♪ And the cannibal isles ♪

♪ See how she's dressed up
in native style ♪

♪ She's the queen
of the jungle ♪

♪ And the cannibal isles ♪

What's on now, Fannie?

Jim boss.

If that guy's funny,
I'll be a--

listen, baby,

that guy's gonna be
a big star someday.

He can make you laugh,
and he can make you cry.

Yeah, and he can
make me sick.

Comics bore me.

Yeah, and you give me
a pain in the neck, too,

always telling me who's
gonna be a great star.

Once in burley-que,
always in burley-que.

Unless you got looks
or a voice or something.

Well, that's
what I got, kid.

What?
Something.

Fannie, on the level,

you don't ever hope to
get out of burlesque, do you?

You're good here

because these people
are from tenth Avenue.

How good do you think
you'd be on fifth Avenue?

Ha ha! Half as good.

Another silk
stocking gone.

Believe me, I'll
never buy anything

from those stage-door
peddlers again.

Well, that's what
you said before.

What'd you let
the fella in for? Here.

He told the stage doorman
his name was Belasco.

And you thought it was
the Mr. Belasco, the producer.

Uh-huh.

Calling personally
to see you?

Well, maybe I was
a little optimistic.

Miss Brice, Mr. Ziegfeld
is here to see you.

Another peddler.

First it's belasco,
now it's Ziegfeld.

Tell Mr. Ziegfeld
I'm not in,

and if I was in,

tell him I
wouldn't see him.

And if I did see him,

tell him I wouldn't
buy a thing.

Yes, miss.
Thank you.

Miss Brice?

I hope I'm
not intruding.

I'm Florenz Ziegfeld.

Is that so?

Sarah, this is
Mr. Ziegfeld.

Mr. Ziegfeld,

this is
Sarah Bernhardt.

Not the
Sarah Bernhardt?

Mm-hmm.

Well, certainly
is a pleasure

to run into you.

Say, if you run into
your friend belasco,

tell him about the runs
in his stockings.

Oh, do you know
David belasco?

Better than you
know Ziegfeld.

Well, come on,

what do you
want for it?

I'm not
interested.

Miss Brice,
I am really here

to offer you
a great opportunity.

That's what
they all say.

Uh, what kind of fur
is this?

This? That's mink.

Is that so?

And, uh,
what's the price?

Well, the original cost
was $2,700.

Who cares
from originals!

Copies is
just as good.

Come on,
I'll try it on.

Yes, of course.

As a matter of fact,

it ought to fit you
very well.

Don't give me
the sales talk.

Just tell me
the price.

I don't want
to buy it,

but I'll give
you $50 for it

and not
a cent more.

Miss Brice,
the coat is yours.

Stuck again.

Fannie! Are you
really gonna buy it?

If I can give
belasco $4.00

for silk stockings
made of cotton,

I can give Ziegfeld
a little more

for a mink coat
made of skunk.

Besides, a bargain's
a bargain.

Here.
Here's your $40.

Get out before
I change my mind.

Thank you.

Ha ha!

Fannie!

Fannie!

What?

Fannie, look!

What? Moths already?

No! Feel!
It's real mink.

How do you know?
Did you ever have one?

No, but I've been promised one
often enough to tell.

It's real mink,
all right.

It's probably
stolen goods.

You mean it's hot?

Of course it's warm.

And I'll be arrested
if I keep it?

Of course you will.

Call the stage manager!

Call the police!

Call my mother!

Ahh...

Come in.

Message for
miss Brice.

You read it.
I'm dying.

"Dear Fannie Brice,

"I can't accept your $40,

"but you can please me
by accepting the coat.

"I shall expect you
at my office

"in the new Amsterdam
tomorrow,

"as I want to engage
you for the follies.

Florenz Ziegfeld, Jr."

Fannie, it was him!
It was Ziegfeld!

How do you like that?

I like it.

Fannie!

Fannie!
Have you fainted?

Can't you see
I have, you chump?

Get me some whiskey!

Miss Brice?

Oh, miss Brice?

Yes, sir?

All right,
we're ready for you.

I'm coming right down.

Yes, sir,
I'll be right down.

I'm coming
as fast as I can.

I thought I had more time.

Uh...

Don't lose your nerve, kid.

This is your big chance.

Be a trouper!

Look at you. You're
working for Ziegfeld now.

And you look like
a million dollars.

For the first time
in your life,

you're class, you mug.

Wait a minute! Whoa!

What in the--Fannie!

What in the world
are you made up for?

Veronica? Clarence!

Veronica isn't here.

Anything I can do,
Mr. Ziegfeld?

Yes.
Come here, will you?

Yes, Mr. Ziegfeld?

Will you rip off
that train?

But, Mr. Ziegfeld--

go ahead.
Take off the hat.

Get rid of this...
Boa constrictor.

Now, will you
get me a shawl,

an old shawl?

Yes, sir.

How do you expect
miss Brice

to sing a sad song
about her man

dressed up
like a nightingale?

I find personalities,
you try to destroy them.

I didn't engage
miss Brice

as a showgirl.

Is that all right,
Mr. Ziegfeld?

Well, that's
all right for now.

Tomorrow, get her
another outfit.

And don't make it.
Buy it.

Go to a second-hand
store

and get her
an old dress.

She's supposed
to be an Apache,

a poor French girl,
an urchin.

So, to work for Ziegfeld,
I gotta be an urchin.

Even in burlesque,
I was middle class.

Now...

Let me see this,
Fannie.

Fannie,
sing the song.

Now.

Vic? All right.
Let's go.

♪ It cost me a lot ♪

♪ But there's one thing
that I've got ♪

♪ It's my man ♪

♪ Cold and wet ♪

♪ Tired, you bet ♪

♪ But all that
I soon forget ♪

♪ With my man ♪

Sam, if she can
turn those tears on

in front of an audience,
she'll be a sensation.

Look.

♪ ...and no hero
out of books ♪

Look at the girls.

♪ Is my man ♪

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld,

shall we get back
to that conference?

The boys are still
waiting, you know.

Yeah. Tell them
I'll be right up.

♪ That he likes
as well as me ♪

♪ But I love him ♪

♪ I don't know
why I should ♪

♪ He isn't good... ♪

She's all right.

She's gonna be
great.

Eh? Who's that?

Brice.
Fannie Brice.

Say, I've got
a great spot for her

right in this show.

And I
discovered her!

That's right, Sam,
you did.

And you deserve
a raise in salary.

And I'd
give it to him,

but I'm afraid
he wouldn't approve

of my spending
the money.

How's it look, gene?

Well, I think it's the best
we've ever done, Flo.

It ought to be.
You're the best author.

Herbert's
the best composer.

Julian's the best
director.

Joe's the best
scenic artist.

And Sam's
the best bookkeeper.

I'm dying to hear it.

Every line he writes
is a laugh. Ha ha ha!

We open on
a street in Cairo.

Ha ha ha!

Didn't I tell you
every line was a laugh?

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

We open on a street
in Cairo.

Along comes a man
leading an elephant.

Wait just
a minute, gene.

Can you boys
stand a shock?

Well, what
do you mean, Flo?

Well, I hate
to tell you this

because I know
how hard you've worked,

but I've decided not
to do another follies.

What?!
What?!

Oh, I'm going on

with this new edition
with Brice,

but after that,
I want to do a story.

Something with a plot.

Something with all the
glamour of the follies,

around a sweet,
simple story.

Something that will fit
this little girl

Sally manners.

We might call it
Sally.

Oh, Jerry.

Hello, Flo.
How are you?

I'm glad you dropped in,
Jerry.

I was just thinking
about you.

Well, it's nice
to be thought of.

Hello, boys.

Hello, Mr. Kern.

You remember
that melody

that you played up
at my house

a couple of weeks
ago?

Well, let's see.
I played several.

Yes, I know, and
they were all beautiful.

But this one was, uh...

You remember?

You were going to
send it to me.

Oh, I know.
Look for the silver lining.

That's the one.

Look for
the silver lining.

Come on, play it,
will you? Do you mind?

Sure I will.

Got the lyrics
right here.

Fine. Get this.

Look for
the silver lining.

You see what
I mean, boys?

That's what I want.

A story just as simple
and sweet as that tune.

Sing it, Jerry,
will you?

♪ And so the right
thing to do ♪

♪ Is make it
shine for you ♪

♪ A heartful of
joy and gladness ♪

♪ Will always banish
sadness and strife ♪

♪ So always look for
the silver lining ♪

♪ And try to find
the sunny side of life ♪

♪ look for
the silver lining ♪

♪ Wherever clouds... ♪

Ziegfeld, these gentlemen
have been pestering me

about money
for your scenery,

your costumes,
and whatnot.

And I want to tell you
in their presence,

that I have no interest
in this show

and in no way
am I concerned with it.

Our agreement
is for Ziegfeld follies

and nothing else.

You understand that,
gentlemen?

Nothing else.

Mr. Ziegfeld, this is
all very unpleasant

at a dress rehearsal,
but we must insist

on at least 50%
of our money

before the opening.

We are selling
a lot of tickets.

It's no use, sampston.
That's our best proposition.

Mr. Ziegfeld,

we're all ready
for the finale.

All right, Benny,
let it go.

Boys, what are you
worried about?

Have I ever started
anything

that I couldn't
finish?

Don't my curtains
always go up?

Why, if I owed you

100 times the amount
I do, you'd get it.

Come up to my office
in the morning.

I'll pay you.

50%, Mr. Ziegfeld.

100% if you want it.

Maybe I can even advance
you a little something

on the Eddie cantor
show.

I'm going to do a story
with him, too, you know.

Eddie cantor?

Mmm.

How are you
going to do it?

I don't know.

Finale.

Mr. Ziegfeld,

Audrey Dane is
visiting backstage,

and she brought a lot
of champagne with her.

What?

Yes, sir?

Never mind.

Ah, it looks very good,
the show, huh?

Yes, it's wonderful,
really.

I'll be back
in a moment, darling.

All right.

♪ A pretty girl ♪

♪ Is like a melody ♪

♪ That warms you
night and day ♪

Whoo!

♪ Just like a... ♪

Hello.

I want to see
every one of you

in my office
in the morning.

Get out.

Audrey, you know

that I have
forbidden drinking

in the dressing rooms.

Oh, Flo,
don't be mad at me.

I just asked a few
of the girls up

to have a little drink.

It isn't their fault.
You see, it's my fau--

now, Audrey, please.

Please, stand up now.

I can't. I want to get down,
but I can't get down.

Lift me, Flo.

Audrey.

Whee!

Oh, don't put me down.

Don't put me down.

Audrey, you've broken
your last promise to me.

Flo!

You should have at least
closed the door.

Wait!

Anna!

Anna, please
don't misjudge me.

I couldn't help it.

She's... she's drunk.

Do you always do that
when she's drunk?

The members of your company
must enjoy that very much.

Oh, Anna,
don't say that.

Don't you
understand, dear?

When one
of my girls--

poor Flo.

You have so much trouble
with your girls, oui?

Anna!

Aren't you going to eat
your grapefruit, sir?

No, nothing, Sidney.

Well, we know now

why she didn't come
home last night.

I'm sorry, sir.

Did you
send her flowers?

The minute I learned
the address, sir.

A dozen orchids
as usual.

Good.

Oh, Mr. Sampston
called again, sir.

He says the bank
positively refuses

to increase your loan,
sir.

Thank you, Sidney.

Yes, sir.

Vive la France.

Miss Dane, sir.

Here?

Undoubtedly she's
read the paper, sir.

Show her in, Sidney.

Well, Flo...

Congratulations.

On what?

Just saw
the headline.

I don't think I'm to be
congratulated, Audrey.

Uh-oh. Little Audrey

is speaking
out of turn again.

And I was a bad girl

last night, too,
wasn't I?

I don't think you should
have come here today.

So that's
how you feel.

Going to Atlantic city
tonight?

No.

Isn't the show
going to open there

tomorrow night?

No.

Broke again?

Yes, broke again.

Please don't turn
the elephant, Audrey.

Afraid I'll spoil
your luck?

So, nobody thinks enough
of your new star

to loan you money.

I don't blame them.

Why didn't you
star me in the show?

You with
all your promises.

"Audrey, if you'll
just behave yourself,

I'll put your name

in the biggest lights
on Broadway."

"Audrey, if you'll
only stop drinking,

I'll have great shows
written for you."

Why didn't you make me
your great star?

Because I couldn't depend
on you as I could on--

yes!

Well, all right.
Depend on her now.

Go on, star her.

Do anything you like
with her.

I hate you!

I'm never gonna
see you again.

I'm quitting you
and your show today.

And I hope you don't
get the money

to open it.

And if you do,
I hope it's a flop!

That's how
I feel about you.

And this is how I feel
about your elephant.

Sidney?

Yes, sir?

Take a wire
to Mr. Billings.

Will that be all,
Mr. Billings?

Yes, that will be all,
thank you.

Oh, miss Jones,

take care of that matter
right away.

Yes, sir.

I just got another
telegram from Ziegfeld.

He can't open his show
unless we help him.

Well, we won't help him.
I told him so yesterday.

I'm not interested
in his show,

and I won't loan him
5 cents.

Send him a wire--

I just did.

Did what?

Wired him the money.

Oh, isn't that
Mr. Ziegfeld?

Say, Flo, why don't
you run up

and put on
the costume

and get into the
spirit of the dance.

Oh, I'm tired.

Oh, come on, Flo.

Don't lose interest
in everything.

No, I'm going home.

Good night.

Let me have that megaphone,
will you, honey?

Yes, sir.

Willie.

Oh, Flo,
you're not leaving?

Yes, I am.

Not when we're just
going to start

a Paul Jones inside,

and I promise every time
you get a pretty girl,

I'll blow the whistle.

Ha ha ha!
Not tonight, Willie.

Say, who is that girl

with the gorgeous
red hair?

Why, that's
Billie Burke.

Uh, thanks, Willie.

Good evening,
Jack.

Uh, how do you do?
Come on.

Willie.

Yes, Flo?

I'm staying for
the Paul Jones.

Every time you see me
with miss Burke,

will you blow
the whistle?

Ok.

Take your places
for the Paul Jones, everybody.

The Paul Jones!

Well, do you think
we ought to? I--

oh, yes.
I love the Paul Jones.

Perhaps we could
both go the same way.

No, we can't do that!

Oh, well, I...

Miss Burke.

Uh, Mr. Uh...

Oh, it
doesn't matter.

Oh, no,
I'm supposed to--

I've got to--
we're not, uh...

Oh, no,
this is our dance!

Oh, is it? Oh...

Miss Burke.

We meet again,
Mr. Um...

Oh, it still
doesn't matter.

Won't you tell me?

Tell you what?

Your name.

Why don't you ask
Mr. Billings?

I will if I can find him.

But you seem to stand in
with the whistle.

Oh, yes, you see,

when I was
a little boy,

I used to love
to whistle,

and a whistle
never forgets.

Aren't you
getting bored?

No. Are you?

I'm afraid not.

Tired?

Are you?

No, but I'd
much rather just talk.

Would you mind?

No.

Don't you love
the lights of New York?

To me, they're more beautiful
than any landscape.

More beautiful than the
mountains in the west?

Yes, I think so.

Are you
too cold out here?

Oh, no, indeed.
I'm enjoying it.

Oh... that is, uh...
I mean,

the electric signs
fascinate me.

"Wrigley's chewing gum,

"Fleischmann's yeast,

Ziegfeld's follies."

Do you know Ziegfeld?

No. I don't want to.

I understand
he's a horrible person.

Horrible?

Yes, they say he's
a terrible ladies' man.

Well, I suppose
that's forgivable

because he's surrounded

by so many beautiful
women.

Yes, yes. Strange
you've never met him.

I don't want to.

I love his shows.

They're so beautiful
and in such good taste.

It would disappoint me
terribly

to meet him
and find him to be

a fat, pudgy man
with a big stomach.

Oh, he's not fat...
And not really so pudgy.

No? You know him?

Oh, yes. Yes.
He would like you.

How do you know?

Didn't you just say
he had good taste?

Ohh.

Well, you're sort of
a ladies' man yourself,

aren't you?

I think with you
as the lady,

I could make Ziegfeld
look like an amateur.

Oh, you haven't told me
your name yet.

Well, I've been
looking--

if you don't mind,
Mr. Ziegfeld,

miss Burke, with
the special permission

of her producer,
Mr. Frohman,

came to this affair
with me tonight.

And if you've no objection,

I'd like to have one dance
with the lady.

Mr. Ziegfeld?

Well,
you were right.

He isn't pudgy.

Shall we go in?

Yes!

Ah, don't I get
one more dance?

I'm afraid not.

I imagine it's Mr. Frohman
you're really afraid of,

isn't it?

Oh, I'm--

perhaps.

He doesn't want you to
appear too much socially.

Frankly, no,
he doesn't.

And you don't like me
very well anyway, do you?

Frankly, no,
I don't.

No. Ha ha ha!
She doesn't!

You put him
in his place,

all right.

I wonder what general Grant
would think if he knew

we were using
the very shadow of his tomb

as our meeting place.

Well, I never knew
the general personally,

but I have an idea
he'd approve.

I don't know.
Nobody else seems to.

At least,
Mr. Frohman doesn't.

And why not?

Why can't we meet
where we like,

go where we want?

Just because he has you
under contract

is no reason why he should
dictate your personal life,

do you think?

I'm here.

Yes, and so am I.

But it must seem like
kindergarten to you.

Why?

The great Mr. Ziegfeld,
producer of the follies,

surrounded by hundreds
of beautiful women,

sitting on a bench,
holding hands,

watching the riverboats
go back and forth.

Doesn't sound a bit
like you, does it?

No, it doesn't.

But here I am,
sitting on a bench,

holding hands

and watching the riverboats
go back and forth.

And regretting all the years
I haven't known you.

Didn't Anna held take up
a few of those years?

Why, yes, Billie,
she did.

And she was truly
a wonderful woman.

I love you
for saying that.

Look, there's
another ferry boat

going across
to the palisades.

Hmm.

Will you keep
your eyes on it

while I tell you
something?

Must I look
at a ferry boat

to listen to you?

Yes, or I won't
be able to tell you.

You mean the great
ladies' man is bashful?

Strange as it may seem,
in your presence, he is.

All right, I'm looking.

I love you, Billie.

The ferry boat.

I haven't anything
to offer you,

because there's nothing
that you really seem to need.

You've made the most
of yourself unassisted.

And that's grand.

Ferry boat.

You're a great star
already,

so there's little
I can offer you,

nothing I can give you,
except my love.

That isn't enough.

I'd expect part of
your ambition,

half of
your trouble,

2/3 of your worries,

and all of
your respect.

Here's your medicine,
madame.

No, thank you, Marie.
I'm tired of it.

But, madame...

No, no, no, no.

Perhaps you would
like to go to Paris

for a while now?

No, I'm too tired
to go anywhere...

And to do anything.

Marie...

Look at the paper...

Where did they
go on their honeymoon?

But they couldn't
go anywhere, madame.

Miss Burke is appearing
in a play here.

We saw her
only 2 weeks ago.

You insisted, madame.
You remember.

Oui, I know.

And we enjoyed it
very much, too.

She's a lovely actress,
Marie, oui?

Oui, madame.

She has such
twinkling eyes,

and such a funny little
Twitter when she speaks.

Yes, I can well imagine
Flo being in love with her.

Marie?

Oui, madame?

Call his office.
I will congratulate him.

Oui, madame.

Hello?

Bryant 3093, please.

I should
wish him luck, oui?

Oui, madame.

Oui, I should.

Mr. Ziegfeld,
please.

Miss Anna held speaking.

No, Marie. Hang up!

I cannot speak
with him today. I--

Mr. Ziegfeld?

He's on the telephone,
madame.

He is?

Hello, Flo.

Yes, here's Anna.

I'm so happy
for you today.

I could not help
but call on you

and congratulate
you.

Wonderful, Flo.

Never better
in my whole life.

I'm so excited
about my new plans.

I'm going to Paris.

Yes, for a few weeks,
and then I can get back,

and then I'm doing
a new show, and I--

oh, oui, it's
all so wonderful,

and I'm so happy.

Yes, and I hope
you are happy, too.

Yes?

Oh, I'm so glad
for you, Flo.

It sounds funny

for ex-husband
and ex-wife

to tell each other

how happy they are,
oui?

Yes, Flo.

Good-bye, Flo.

Good-bye.

Ma pauvre petite.

If you love him so much,
why did you divorce him?

Because I thought

it would bring him back
to me.

I was sure that it would
bring him back to me.

Oh, yippee!

Oh, goody,
goody, goody!

Is that all
for me?

That certainly is,
every bit for you.

Oh, and that isn't all.
Sidney? Ahem.

Yes, sir?

Now, if you don't like
the view from this side,

then--

I don't.

That's the chimney
Santa came down.

Yes!

And that's the roof
where the reindeer stopped.

Gosh! I wonder how they
kept from sliding off.

Probably the bricks
stopped them.

Ha ha!

See, mommy, it's almost big
enough for me to get in.

It is!

It's almost big enough
for us all to get in.

Oh, yes!
Sidney, uh...

Yes, sir?

Hasn't Santa Claus
brought the elephant yet?

Not yet, sir,
but he... She, uh...

It may be here
at any moment, sir.

Flo, you didn't
buy an elephant?

Well, I most
certainly did.

A live elephant,
daddy?

A great big
live elephant.

I beg your pardon,
sir, madame,

in behalf of the help,
and as their spokesman,

I wish to express our thanks

for your thoughtfulness
and generosity

and to wish you both
a very merry Christmas.

Thank you, Sidney.

Oh, that's very nice
of you, Sidney.

And may we wish
a very merry Christmas

to all of you.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you, madame.

Merry Christmas.

And to you,
miss Patricia.

Same to you, Sidney.

Now, how about opening
your presents?

Oh, Flo, with all
this extravagance,

I'm a little afraid to.

Oh, nonsense, darling.

That's what Christmas
is for.

Come on, now.

Oh, Flo.

This isn't
all for me?

Well, who else?

Well, I don't know
which one to open first.

Well, suppose
you try this one.

Oh, Flo!

A crown of diamonds!

How beautiful!

This proves that America
is not a republic.

Because you are the queen,

and queens
always wear crowns.

A bracelet for
the regal wrist.

A pendant
for the royal throat.

And...

Flo!

A cloak for
her majesty's shoulders.

Darling!

And...

Oh, no, Flo!
Nothing else!

Yes.

A kiss from her
most humble subject.

Darling!

Oh, everything's
so lovely.

But you shouldn't
have done so much.

Oh, well, I--

uh...

I--i hadn't anything
to do with it.

It was Santa Claus.
He brought everything.

Yes, I know.

But Santa Claus was
far too extravagant.

Oh...

I think you should
take some of it back.

Oh, mama, I don't want
Santa Claus to take back

any of my presents.

Don't worry,
darling. He won't.

No, and he won't take back
any of your mama's either.

I'd cry if he took
my circus back.

You would?

Why, darling? Do you
like it better

than your other
presents?

Mm-hmm. But I wish it was
a real live circus.

Well, I guess

you'll have to do
a circus, Flo.

Could you, daddy?

Well, I don't know.
Let's see.

I've never had any experience
with circuses,

but I can try.

I'll tell you what.
Let's make a chorus

in front of these
2 wagons, hmm?

Who's this fellow?
Oh! That's the ringmaster.

He's right in the center.

That's where ringmasters
should be.

Now, we'll put these
2 acrobats

up next to him,
and then we'll put

this little Tyrolean
fellow there.

And then we'll put
the clown next to him.

That clown,
he's a funny fellow.

And there's
the lion tamer.

Gosh, I bet he's
a brave fellow, too. Hmm?

And there's
the drum major.

And here is
the strong man.

We'll call him
sandow, hmm?

And who is this?

Well, that's, uh...
Oh! Of course.

That's little
Harriet Hoctor.

And I've always wanted
to give her a chance.

I'll tell you what.

Now, you hold her
for a minute,

and we'll bring her on
later, hmm?

Now, let's put it all
back of a curtain,

just as I do
in the theater.

Now, this is the curtain.

♪ We're the greatest
of the gladiators ♪

♪ Entertainers
and impersonators ♪

♪ Showmen,
all of reputation ♪

♪ We've appeared
in every nation ♪

♪ We're the leaders
of a great procession ♪

♪ All true members
of the same profession ♪

♪ Here's our attraction,
when we're in action ♪

♪ We're the greatest show
on earth ♪

♪ When I show my strength,
they cry, "bravo!" ♪

♪ When I'm in the cage,
I steal the show ♪

♪ When I crack my whip,
I'm king of the ring ♪

♪ On a high trapeze
you'll see us swing ♪

♪ When I throw my clubs,
you'll all watch me ♪

♪ When I show my face,
they laugh at me ♪

♪ When I lead the band,
the crowd yells, "grand!" ♪

♪ Troupers on parade ♪

♪ Where's the place
we can call our home? ♪

♪ And we go on,
on till we die ♪

♪ Always troupers
on parade ♪

♪ Gentlemen,
we think you're great ♪

♪ We loved
your little song ♪

♪ But can't you see
you're out of place? ♪

♪ You really don't belong ♪

♪ So good-bye,
you'll have to go ♪

♪ This is a Ziegfeld show ♪

♪ We think you're grand,
but surely you must know ♪

♪ A circus must be different
in a Ziegfeld show ♪

♪ we're
great entertainers ♪

♪ yet you must
all agree ♪

♪ this show must be
a fantasy ♪

♪ A circus must be different
in a Ziegfeld show ♪

♪ So long, toodle-oo ♪

♪ Good-bye to you ♪

♪ a circus must be
different in a Ziegfeld show ♪

What's the laugh,
Jack?

This article
on Ziegfeld.

It says he's
not only broke,

but he can't
borrow a nickel

in any of the banks.

He wouldn't
have to borrow

if he'd commercialize
the shows,

but they could
never get him

to send out a number 2
or 3 company.

He wanted the public to see
only his best production.

Why doesn't he stick
to his follies?

That other show
is terrible.

I guess the old boy's
washed up.

He's been slipping
for years.

White and Carroll have
got it all over him.

Thanks, Bob.

Let me have a cold
towel, will you?

Well, the guy's
getting old.

Yeah, and broke.

He won't have another
hit on Broadway.

Isn't somebody building
another theater for him

on sixth Avenue?

Yeah. It's to be
his monument.

It's about time.
He could use a monument.

I don't know
you fellas.

You got nothing on me.
I don't know you.

Well, you ought to.
You've been burying me

for 5 minutes.
I'm Ziegfeld.

You boys are right.

I'm not going to have
another hit on Broadway.

I'm going to have 4.

4 at one time.
You get that? 4!

And all hits.

Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld!

You forgot your tie.

He's gonna have 4 hits,

and he hasn't got
a tie left.

Flo.

Darling.

Why did you come upstairs
without saying hello?

Are you trying
to elude me?

No. I'm not feeling
very well, dear.

Oh. Poor darling.

You're just tired.

Where's your tie?

Hmm?

What do you think
of that? I--

I must've left it
in the barbershop

this afternoon.

And you've been around
without it ever since?

Darling,
that isn't like you.

What's wrong, Flo?

Billie,
I'm all through.

Through with what?

Everything.
I'm slipping. I'm...

Getting old.

And who told you that?

3 men
in the barbershop.

Oh. That's why
you forgot your tie.

Yes, and I've never done
anything like that before

in my whole life.

Isn't that tragic.

For the first time
in your long career,

you forgot a tie.

It's a calamity.

Who were those men, Flo?

I don't know.
I never saw them before.

They said I'd never
produce another hit.

And what did you say?

I told them I'd
have 4 on Broadway

at the same time.

Sounds more like you.

Yes. But it was
only a bluff.

I'm sorry, dear.

I don't mean
to worry you.

Where's Patricia?

She's having her dinner.

You came home
very late, dear.

Yes, dear.
I'm sorry. I...

I've been so worried.

The play is such
a terrible failure.

But you're not,
darling.

I'm afraid I am.

Well, shall we have
some dinner?

Flo, I'm disappointed
in you.

I didn't think
you'd ever

lose confidence
in yourself.

But... I must be
the failure, not you.

Oh, Billie.

No, I mean it,
darling.

Before we were
married,

you never thought
of failure,

even when
you were broke.

It was your sublime
superiority

more than anything
else

that made me
admire you so much.

Please don't change,
Flo.

Don't let Patricia
and me

become a worry
to you.

We don't expect you

to reduce your life
to just us.

I want you to go
right on being

just as you always
were.

I would never
be jealous,

because with
your love of beauty,

you could never be
cheap or common.

So, in whatever
you do,

you need never
fear me.

And what is
more important,

don't be afraid
of yourself.

I'm not going
to be afraid, Billie.

All right, young man.

I'll give you a chance
to prove it.

In my vault,

I have all the jewelry
you've ever given me,

even the queen's
crown...

And some
very good bonds.

They're all yours,
on one condition--

that you keep your
promise to those 3 men

and have 4 hits
on Broadway.

Is that a bargain?

Oh, Billie.

♪ Old man river ♪

♪ He just keeps
rollin' along ♪

Mr. Ziegfeld.

Just--just a minute.

Mr. Ziegfeld,

it's inspector Doyle of
the police department.

He says it's important.

Oh. Why didn't you say so?
Send him in.

All right.

All right, Mr. Doyle.

Hello, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Hello, inspector.

Well, we got 'em,
all right.

You did?
That's wonderful.

I'll say it's wonderful,

with the descriptions
you gave us.

Where are they?

Right outside.

Bring them in.

All right, sir.

Bring those birds in here.

Come on, pick it up.
Here they are.

What's the meaning
of this?

Pipe down,
pipe down.

Mr. Ziegfeld,

what's the charge
against these men?

Murder.

Murder?!

Yes, murder.

About a year ago,

these 3 gentlemen
killed me and buried me.

Killed? Buried?

Yes. In a Times Square
barbershop. Remember?

Oh, yes, I remember.
Don't you?

Now, I'm going
to give each of you a box

to all 4 of my shows.

4 hits,
all in one season.

And then I want you
to tell me whether or not

you still think
I'm washed up.

I'm sorry, gentlemen,

but this is the only way
I could locate you.

I knew that if you were
to be found at all,

inspector Doyle here
was the one to do it.

Sam, would you have
Goldie take their names

and make their reservations

for whatever nights
they wish.

Good day, gentlemen.

This way, gentlemen.

Thank you, inspector.

That's getting even
with a vengeance.

That's not
a bad ending

for a practical
joke, is it?

Goldie, take
these gentlemen's

names and addresses.

Mr. Ziegfeld,
don't you realize

what you may have
let yourself in for?

What?

These gentlemen can sue
you for false arrest,

to say nothing of
the police department.

Sam, don't you realize

that we have nothing
to worry about anymore?

I hope so, sir.

You don't even
have to hope.

Do you know what
I've been doing?

What, sir?

Buying stocks.
I've bought over a million.

Outright?

No, on margin.

But all solid securities.

And when I've paid
for them,

I'm going to buy
another million,

and then another
and another.

Sam, I'm going to be
really rich.

I'm hope
you're right, sir,

but the market's been
behaving very queerly

these last few days.

Yes?

Croydon and company
on the phone, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Oh, yes, put them on.

They've been trying
to get you all morning.

They're my broker.
Hello?

Mr. Ziegfeld?
Speaking.

We've been trying
to locate you.

There's been a terrific
break in the market.

Oh. Well,
what happened?

Averages are down
20 to 40 points.

Down 20 to 40 points?!

We have to have additional
funds immediately.

How much?

$300,000.

300,000?!

What is it?

Unless you cover, we'll
have to close you out.

Oh, no, no, no!
Don't do that!

I'll cover.

I'll get the money to you
in just a little while.

Will you put Holloway
on the phone?

Flo, what is it?

The market, Sam--
it's crashed.

I've got to get $300,000
in cash, immediately.

How are we going
to do it?

I don't know.

Maybe I can borrow it
from a bank.

On what?

On your shows.

It's too late, Sam.

I've already mortgaged
the shows

to put up the first
payments on the stock.

We can't locate
Mr. Holloway.

What's that?

We can't locate
Mr. Holloway.

But you've got
to locate him!

Yes, of course
I'll cover.

I'll get the money over to you
in just a little while.

Just hold the wire.
Sam, get billings.

Try his house,
his office, anywhere,

but get billings!

Aah!

Mr. Davis, we haven't
received your check yet,

and your margin's
entirely wiped out.

Hello, Mr. Billings.
I'll be right with you.

No, we can't, Mr. Davis.
I'm sorry,

but we can't hold
your stocks any longer.

Mr. Billings, we've had
to sell you out, too.

Well,
that takes me back

to my second childhood
consistently.

I was a poor kid
when I started.

Mr. Holloway,

Mr. Ziegfeld's on
number 6 for you.

Excuse me,
Mr. Billings.

Hello?

Oh, yes, Mr. Ziegfeld.

Yes, we had to sell you out
about half an hour ago.

Yes. I know it is,
and I'm terribly sorry.

Ziegfeld? I didn't know
he was in the market.

Oh, yes, very heavy.
He'll lose everything.

Everything?

Everything.

Well, this is one time
he can't get it from me.

Yes, madame.
Yes, madame, it is.

The doctor left about
10 minutes ago, madame.

He seemed very happy
about Mr. Ziegfeld.

Said he might stay up
for a while longer.

Oh, he did so enjoy
sitting up to dinner

with you
and miss Patricia.

No, madame.

But don't let him
stay up too long.

Yes, I know, but
the more he rests,

the sooner he'll
be well again.

And, Sidney, tell
him I'll be home

immediately after
the performance.

Time for your entrance,
miss Burke.

Yes, yes. Sidney,
be sure to call me

right after
the second act.

Yes, about 10:05.

Yes, madame.

Madame was very happy
about you, sir.

Oh, my poor Billie.

I wish she weren't working.

But it does help some, Sidney.

Get those wires
off

as quickly as
you can, will you?

Yes, sir.

Were you able to reach
Eddie cantor by phone?

The Los Angeles operator's
been trying to reach him

for some time, sir.

Tell her to keep on
trying. Sidney?

Yes, sir?

When you get him,
tell him

that I want him
for a new show.

Tell him that I'm ready
to start rehearsals

the instant
he can get away

from those pictures.

Tell him I need him.

I haven't had a real
show in 2 years.

Yes, sir.

Wasn't that
the bell, Sidney?

Yes, sir.

Well, why don't you
answer it?

Yes, sir.

Mr. Billings.

Hello, Sidney.
How's Mr. Ziegfeld?

Well, he's much
improved, sir,

but he's very
nervous.

He will be glad
to see you, sir.

I think if we could
get him started

on a new show,
sir...

I mean to say, if he
had the money, sir--

yes, well, we'll see
that he gets it.

Oh.

My valet isn't as efficient
as you used to be, Sidney.

He lets me neglect things.

All right for me
to go in and see him?

Yes, sir. I wouldn't
stay too long.

No, no, no.

Well, hello, Ziggy.
How are you feeling?

Hello, Jack.

I'm feeling
much better.

Thank you.

Sit down,
won't you?

Yes. Let me look
at you.

I don't think you've
been sick at all.

Just playing possum,
that's what you're doing,

so your creditors
can't find you.

No. No creditors.

No. No creditors.

Well, when are you going
to be up and around?

Well, pretty soon
now, I hope.

Hurry up. I'm expecting you
to go to Europe with me.

Oh. Well, when
are you sailing?

In a couple of weeks.

We'll stop off
at Monte Carlo.

You can break
the bank again.

And then we'll go
to London.

Maybe we can find
some new talent together.

Does it interest you?

Yes. Yes, I'd like
to go to London.

Yeah? Why?

You got someone in mind?

No.

Why? Have you?

No. But I wouldn't
tell you if I had,

not if you were 10 times
as sick as you are.

Oh, those were great
old days, Jack.

Yeah!

Remember the fair?

Do I?

Little Egypt.

Sandow.

Yeah, and then
Anna held.

Yes.

Oh, I--
I'm sorry, Ziggy.

Why is it, Jack,
that in a world so old,

life must be so short?

Short? I feel as if

I'd been here
a thousand years,

and I'm going to stay
a thousand more,

and you'd feel the same way

if you'd snap out of it
and get a new show started.

Yes. Yes, I'd like
to do another follies.

Why don't you do it?

Don't you think
it's about time

that you and I split
50-50 in something?

I'd love to, Jack,

but it'll take
a lot of money.

I've never refused you
before, have I?

No, but that was all
in the dark ages...

Before the depression,
I mean.

I heard that the market
got you.

Me? Why, I...
Oh, don't be silly.

I'm too smart
for any stock market.

Oh, I lost a couple
of thousand or so,

but I got out in time.

Really?

Yeah.

How about you?
Did it get you?

Oh, no. No, I, uh...

I never played
the market.

Oh.

Oh, I may have dropped
a few hundred, maybe,

but nothing to speak of.

Well, how much money

do you suppose
it will take, Ziggy?

Oh, a couple
of hundred thousand.

A couple of hundred
thousand, huh?

Well, ok, it's a deal.

You pull yourself together
and get well,

and I'll give you
the money.

Isn't that wonderful,
Mr. Ziegfeld?

Doesn't that make you
feel better, sir?

Yes, that makes me
feel much better.

Jack, you're
a real person.

Yeah, well, you're...

You're not a bad sort
yourself, Ziggy.

Well, I'll drop in
tomorrow.

Yes. Do that.

Oh, and, Ziggy...

If you just put
your mind to it,

I think you'll be up
and around in a week.

But don't let me rush you

because while you're sitting
here convalescing,

I'll be picking out the gals
for the new show, huh?

Well, he looks all right
to me, Sidney.

Undoubtedly,
he will be, sir,

thanks to you.

I hope so.

Take good care
of him, Sidney,

because if anything
happened to Ziggy, I...

Well, take good care
of him.

Mr. Ziegfeld.

Mr. Ziegfeld,

I wouldn't tax my strength
if I were you, sir.

Sidney, I've got
things to do.

I must get cantor,

bill Rogers,
bill fields.

They must come back
to me!

I'll have all my
old stars together

in one great show.

I must do
the biggest follies

of my whole life!

I--

Oh, Sidney,
I'm so terribly broke.

But Mr. Billings, sir.
Isn't he going to help you?

Sidney,
he hasn't a nickel.

He was lying to me

just to make me
feel better.

We're both broke.

I wouldn't worry
about that, sir.

You've been broke
before, sir.

Yes, I know. I've always
laughed about it.

But I can't laugh
anymore, Sidney...

Because
I've been wrong.

I've got nothing...

Nothing
to leave anyone.

Nothing, sir? You leave
them the memories

of the finest things
ever done on the stage, sir.

You'll leave them a name
that they can be proud of

all their lives.

And you'll soon
feel better, sir,

and then you can do
more beautiful things

than ever before, sir.

It's nice of you,
Sidney...

To say that.

I must call madame
again now, sir.

It's after 10:00.

The memories...

Of the finest things
ever done on the stage.

Chickering 5161.

Hello? Get me miss Burke's
dressing room, please.

Yes.

Oh, miss Burke, he seems
to be resting comfortably.

Yes. I thought
you'd like to know.

Yes, miss Burke.

Yes, I'll deliver
your message.

Mr. Ziegfeld.

Mr. Zieg--

Hello.

Is Dr. Hassel still
in the building, please?

Will you ask him to come up
to Mr. Ziegfeld's apartment

at once, please?

Yes. Hurry, please.

♪ We are the musketeers ♪

♪ Bold,
dashing musketeers ♪

♪ We are the musketeers... ♪

♪ Rio Rita ♪

♪ Life is sweeta, Rita,
when you are near ♪

♪ When it was whoopee
that came along ♪

♪ And it was whoopee
that brought a song... ♪

♪ There's a place
that I know... ♪

I've got
to have more steps.

I need... More steps.

I've got to get higher.

Higher...