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00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:08,870
Nikki Glaser!
2
00:00:08,915 --> 00:00:11,215
Give it up for Nikki Glaser,
everybody.
3
00:00:11,266 --> 00:00:13,656
Nikki Glaser!
4
00:00:13,703 --> 00:00:15,623
I'm on my way
to becoming one of the most
5
00:00:15,661 --> 00:00:17,841
successful female comics
working today.
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00:00:17,881 --> 00:00:20,141
You're about to laugh at things
that make you feel
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00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,018
like you're gonna go to hell.
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00:00:22,059 --> 00:00:25,019
Hell, I'm on my way
to becoming one of the most
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00:00:25,062 --> 00:00:26,372
successful comics
working today,
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00:00:26,411 --> 00:00:28,201
that happens to have a vagina.
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00:00:28,239 --> 00:00:29,849
[upbeat music]
12
00:00:29,893 --> 00:00:33,513
In 2020, my career was
at an all-time high.
13
00:00:33,549 --> 00:00:36,329
And then the pandemic hit.
14
00:00:36,378 --> 00:00:38,678
So I did
what any successful comedian
15
00:00:38,728 --> 00:00:40,988
at the pinnacle
of her career would do.
16
00:00:41,035 --> 00:00:44,075
I moved back to my hometown
of St. Louis.
17
00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:45,465
[somber twang]
18
00:00:45,517 --> 00:00:47,557
I never get recognized
in this town.
19
00:00:47,606 --> 00:00:49,036
I'm Nikki Glaser!
20
00:00:49,086 --> 00:00:50,646
You're gonna get canceled
for this.
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00:00:50,696 --> 00:00:52,656
I don't touch [bleep].
I'm touching mulch.
22
00:00:52,698 --> 00:00:54,608
I'm living
with my podcast cohost,
23
00:00:54,657 --> 00:00:57,617
who's also my opening act
and former dog walker.
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00:00:57,660 --> 00:00:59,270
I'm feeling nothing sexual
for you.
25
00:00:59,314 --> 00:01:01,364
My penis is in my body.
26
00:01:01,403 --> 00:01:03,273
I'm able to spend time
with my family.
27
00:01:03,318 --> 00:01:05,318
How did you ever survive
this terrible childhood?
28
00:01:05,363 --> 00:01:07,373
- I became a comedian.
- [laughs]
29
00:01:07,409 --> 00:01:09,539
My best friend
from grade school is here.
30
00:01:09,585 --> 00:01:12,365
Are these expensive to get?
both: Yeah.
31
00:01:12,414 --> 00:01:14,984
And my ex-boyfriend
just so happened
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to recently move back
to St. Louis too.
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00:01:17,158 --> 00:01:19,548
Did you go on a date here?
- Yeah.
34
00:01:19,595 --> 00:01:21,675
Why aren't you trying
to set me up, bro?
35
00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:22,987
'Cause you're always saying
that you're
36
00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:25,563
kind of in a relationship.
37
00:01:25,601 --> 00:01:27,911
I just didn't want
to catch feelings.
38
00:01:27,951 --> 00:01:29,911
But I caught them anyway.
39
00:01:29,953 --> 00:01:32,433
If we get back together,
we should just get engaged.
40
00:01:33,348 --> 00:01:36,828
But small town living does not
mean I've stopped hustling.
41
00:01:36,873 --> 00:01:38,613
Nikki Glaser, in studio.
42
00:01:38,657 --> 00:01:40,137
I'm back, baby.
43
00:01:40,181 --> 00:01:41,971
America's favorite
Midwest comic.
44
00:01:42,008 --> 00:01:43,918
It's a niche, but...
- [laughs]
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00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:45,397
So who knows?
46
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Maybe St. Louis is home now.
47
00:01:48,189 --> 00:01:49,449
[bleep].
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00:01:49,494 --> 00:01:50,634
That is the weirdest thing
I've ever...
49
00:01:50,669 --> 00:01:52,059
- What?
- Seen in my life.
50
00:01:52,106 --> 00:01:53,146
Sorry, Mom,
I have a boyfriend.
51
00:01:53,194 --> 00:01:55,114
Get used to it.
52
00:01:55,152 --> 00:01:56,242
[upbeat music]
53
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,114
♪ I wanna miss my flight
54
00:01:58,155 --> 00:02:03,545
♪ I feel so all alone
out on the road ♪
55
00:02:03,595 --> 00:02:06,375
♪ Can you welcome me home?
56
00:02:06,424 --> 00:02:09,214
[upbeat music]
57
00:02:09,253 --> 00:02:13,563
♪
58
00:02:13,605 --> 00:02:15,775
Oh, God.
59
00:02:15,825 --> 00:02:17,345
Hi.
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00:02:17,392 --> 00:02:19,662
What are you wearing?
61
00:02:19,698 --> 00:02:21,478
What the hell?
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00:02:21,526 --> 00:02:24,136
Nikki, honest to God.
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00:02:24,181 --> 00:02:25,271
When did you get that?
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00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,583
I've had this
for two years now.
65
00:02:26,618 --> 00:02:29,358
I've had this for,
like, five years now.
66
00:02:29,404 --> 00:02:30,804
Before I moved back
to St. Louis,
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00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,580
I saw my parents
a few times a year.
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00:02:33,625 --> 00:02:35,795
I would only see my mom
on FaceTime
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00:02:35,845 --> 00:02:38,585
when my dad would, like, hold
the camera in front of her,
70
00:02:38,630 --> 00:02:40,720
and she'd go, "Oh, God, EJ, get
that away. I look terrible."
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00:02:40,763 --> 00:02:42,593
- Look how nice this place is.
- Yeah.
72
00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:45,124
I need stuff for my apartment.
Let's go look at housewares.
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Being in St. Louis,
I've been able to slow down
74
00:02:49,032 --> 00:02:51,212
and have a lot more me time.
75
00:02:51,252 --> 00:02:54,692
Which means
now I'm seeing my mom a lot.
76
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:56,263
You guys need help
finding anything?
77
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:57,480
Oh, I think we're good.
78
00:02:57,519 --> 00:02:58,429
Thank you so much.
- Just let me know.
79
00:02:58,476 --> 00:03:00,566
I'm 37, and it's a lot more
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00:03:00,609 --> 00:03:03,309
than I think most people
my age see their mom.
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00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,441
Unless they're one
of those people that's like,
82
00:03:04,482 --> 00:03:06,012
"My mom's my best friend,"
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00:03:06,049 --> 00:03:07,399
but that's not me and my mom.
84
00:03:07,442 --> 00:03:09,922
But it's kind of--
it's turning into that,
85
00:03:09,966 --> 00:03:11,746
and I kind of like it.
86
00:03:11,794 --> 00:03:14,364
They asked, "Do you need
help finding anything?"
87
00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:15,665
What am I gonna say?
88
00:03:15,711 --> 00:03:18,631
"Can you find me
a D.A.R.E. T-shirt from 1998?"
89
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:19,980
Where do you guys keep those?
90
00:03:21,978 --> 00:03:23,678
Hi, Allen.
91
00:03:23,719 --> 00:03:24,759
How are ya?
92
00:03:24,807 --> 00:03:27,197
Hello.
93
00:03:27,244 --> 00:03:28,334
Wait, who's Allen?
94
00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:29,676
- Allen--
- How often do you come here?
95
00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:31,335
How often do you come here,
to be honest?
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00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,119
Enough that I know
Allen's name.
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00:03:33,163 --> 00:03:34,303
Just say--how often?
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00:03:34,338 --> 00:03:35,638
My mom has impeccable style,
99
00:03:35,687 --> 00:03:38,387
but it's--it's all--
it's all on sale, babe.
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00:03:38,429 --> 00:03:40,039
It's all a deal.
Guess where I got it?
101
00:03:40,083 --> 00:03:41,133
G-Dubs.
102
00:03:41,171 --> 00:03:42,221
What's that? Goodwill.
103
00:03:42,259 --> 00:03:44,349
I'm not judging.
- Once a week.
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00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:45,872
I don't believe you.
105
00:03:45,915 --> 00:03:47,695
So in terms
of decorating my apartment,
106
00:03:47,743 --> 00:03:49,793
Goodwill.
Goodwill, baby.
107
00:03:49,832 --> 00:03:51,832
Remember these in the '90s?
- Yeah.
108
00:03:51,877 --> 00:03:53,917
[grunts]
I used to use this--
109
00:03:53,966 --> 00:03:55,266
Does it work?
Does it--can you feel it?
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00:03:55,316 --> 00:03:57,186
Honestly, it ain't bad.
111
00:03:57,231 --> 00:04:00,281
- "NSYNC with you."
- I know Justin is not here.
112
00:04:00,321 --> 00:04:01,931
Yep.
It's JC, Joey, and Chris.
113
00:04:01,974 --> 00:04:03,374
Where's Justin?
114
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,411
In some woman's house,
115
00:04:05,456 --> 00:04:08,016
and she's just feverishly
masturbating to it.
116
00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:10,237
That's kind of cute. I like it.
It's only a dollar.
117
00:04:10,287 --> 00:04:11,547
- Okay.
- I love hearts.
118
00:04:11,593 --> 00:04:13,203
Look at this,
how cute that is.
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00:04:13,247 --> 00:04:14,157
- That's cute.
- Yeah.
120
00:04:14,204 --> 00:04:16,424
Vagine.
121
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:18,427
I love that
that creative side of you's
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00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:20,339
coming out finally.
- Right?
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00:04:20,384 --> 00:04:22,394
Ooh, look at this ghost child.
124
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:23,740
That could go above your bed.
125
00:04:23,779 --> 00:04:25,079
Do you have something going
above your bed?
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00:04:25,128 --> 00:04:26,518
A Taylor Swift poster.
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00:04:26,564 --> 00:04:29,394
I mean, you don't think
it's kind of juvenile
128
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:32,607
waking up just to see her
big, cute face?
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00:04:32,657 --> 00:04:35,827
It's not about her face.
She, like, empowers me.
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00:04:35,878 --> 00:04:39,098
So it's kind of like one of
those inspirational writings--
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00:04:39,142 --> 00:04:40,402
Yeah, I wake up in
the morning, and she's standing
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00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:43,358
above my bed
like this onstage like...
133
00:04:43,407 --> 00:04:46,367
Taylor Swift is my best friend.
134
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:48,020
And I don't know her.
135
00:04:48,064 --> 00:04:50,284
I want to walk into the day
like this.
136
00:04:50,327 --> 00:04:51,627
Like...
137
00:04:53,025 --> 00:04:55,765
[playful music]
138
00:04:55,811 --> 00:04:58,381
Taylor Swift is
the first person I thought of
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00:04:58,422 --> 00:05:00,292
when I almost got hit
by a bus one time.
140
00:05:00,337 --> 00:05:01,897
I almost died, and I was like,
141
00:05:01,947 --> 00:05:04,687
I would've missed
the release of "Red."
142
00:05:04,733 --> 00:05:06,693
The rerelease of "Red."
That was my first thought.
143
00:05:06,735 --> 00:05:07,865
- Remember this?
- [gasps]
144
00:05:07,910 --> 00:05:09,130
Skip-It!
145
00:05:09,172 --> 00:05:10,962
Yes. Yes.
146
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,520
Yes.
- ♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da
147
00:05:13,568 --> 00:05:15,868
Give me a pogo stick.
- I'm shocked.
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00:05:15,918 --> 00:05:17,658
Yeah, bitch.
149
00:05:18,877 --> 00:05:21,577
Wait, I have a tear
in my eye from laughing.
150
00:05:21,619 --> 00:05:23,529
Sometimes I do an impression
of you to Dad.
151
00:05:23,578 --> 00:05:25,618
We laugh so hard
because I can really nail it.
152
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:27,797
- Oh, boy.
- [imitating mother] EJ.
153
00:05:27,843 --> 00:05:29,583
Get that out of there.
- [laughs]
154
00:05:29,627 --> 00:05:31,537
Your junk is all
over the place.
155
00:05:31,586 --> 00:05:33,366
I mean, we're dealing
with messy people.
156
00:05:33,414 --> 00:05:34,464
I know.
We're dealing with him.
157
00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:35,982
- And guess what?
- Guess what?
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00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:37,935
- [sputtering]
- [imitating sputtering]
159
00:05:37,983 --> 00:05:40,993
both:
There's only so much we can do.
160
00:05:41,030 --> 00:05:43,950
[laughter]
161
00:05:46,383 --> 00:05:48,173
[upbeat music]
162
00:05:48,211 --> 00:05:50,261
Do you wanna go poop?
163
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,650
Answer me.
164
00:05:52,694 --> 00:05:56,134
Luigi, your silence says
a million words.
165
00:05:56,175 --> 00:05:57,385
Yes.
166
00:05:57,438 --> 00:05:58,568
- Hi.
- Hey.
167
00:05:58,613 --> 00:06:00,663
How are you?
Come on in.
168
00:06:00,702 --> 00:06:03,312
So, Glase,
you are gonna be here.
169
00:06:03,357 --> 00:06:04,617
- Okay.
- We like to be next
170
00:06:04,662 --> 00:06:05,712
to each other usually.
171
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:07,190
Yeah, I'd like to touch you.
172
00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:08,410
[laughs]
173
00:06:08,449 --> 00:06:09,489
Thank you.
174
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,367
- She's back!
- Look at that.
175
00:06:11,408 --> 00:06:13,108
Nikki Glaser, in studio.
176
00:06:13,149 --> 00:06:14,409
I'm back, baby.
177
00:06:14,455 --> 00:06:16,535
You know I'm a huge fan
of the show.
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00:06:16,587 --> 00:06:17,717
I'm so happy to be here.
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00:06:17,762 --> 00:06:19,022
You got us through
the pandemic.
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00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:20,238
I know. I used to call in
every Thursday.
181
00:06:20,286 --> 00:06:22,286
- And we had the...
- So happy to do it.
182
00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:24,382
So fun.
- X factor, your ex.
183
00:06:24,421 --> 00:06:25,421
[laughter]
184
00:06:25,466 --> 00:06:26,416
I would just call in just
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00:06:26,467 --> 00:06:27,687
'cause I wanted to talk to him.
186
00:06:27,729 --> 00:06:29,429
Where are you guys right now?
187
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:31,210
We are dating.
188
00:06:31,254 --> 00:06:32,394
Nikki and I are dating.
189
00:06:32,429 --> 00:06:33,469
- Yes.
- We're dating each other.
190
00:06:33,517 --> 00:06:35,687
- You are?
- Chris is my ex-boyfriend
191
00:06:35,737 --> 00:06:37,347
who is originally
from St. Louis,
192
00:06:37,391 --> 00:06:40,661
but I met in New York when he
was working on my show on MTV.
193
00:06:40,698 --> 00:06:42,178
He was a producer on the show.
194
00:06:42,221 --> 00:06:45,491
We're trying to figure out
what the next steps are.
195
00:06:45,529 --> 00:06:47,529
We first started dating
eight years ago,
196
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,395
took a break,
got back together,
197
00:06:49,446 --> 00:06:50,876
were off and on after that.
198
00:06:50,926 --> 00:06:52,276
Then we decided we just wanted
to be friends.
199
00:06:52,318 --> 00:06:55,838
But we both ended up
in St. Louis during COVID.
200
00:06:55,887 --> 00:06:57,887
We've gotten back together
and broken up so many times.
201
00:06:57,933 --> 00:06:59,023
- Yes, many times.
- But we don't want to say yes
202
00:06:59,064 --> 00:07:00,284
to it until we are, like,
203
00:07:00,326 --> 00:07:02,496
more sure than we've ever been
in the past.
204
00:07:02,546 --> 00:07:04,976
There's no one size fits all.
Not everything is gonna work.
205
00:07:05,027 --> 00:07:08,247
And Glase and I are figuring
out what might work for us.
206
00:07:08,291 --> 00:07:11,161
For about, I guess,
two months now,
207
00:07:11,207 --> 00:07:14,077
we've been having some,
like, very Mormon,
208
00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:16,733
like, heavy petting,
uh, you know,
209
00:07:16,778 --> 00:07:18,258
intimacy, but not all the way.
210
00:07:18,301 --> 00:07:20,521
Thanks for being officially
not official with me.
211
00:07:20,564 --> 00:07:22,394
I know.
I'm so happy to announce it.
212
00:07:22,436 --> 00:07:23,866
I'm not giving it up yet.
213
00:07:23,915 --> 00:07:25,525
But we're really, like--
- No, we're good.
214
00:07:25,569 --> 00:07:26,609
- We're having a lot of fun.
- We're good. We're having fun.
215
00:07:26,657 --> 00:07:28,527
We're just starting to--
216
00:07:28,572 --> 00:07:31,622
to see if there's
still something going on.
217
00:07:31,662 --> 00:07:33,102
Yeah.
And it's nice to, like,
218
00:07:33,142 --> 00:07:35,932
not be doing everything
and to leave something
219
00:07:35,971 --> 00:07:39,801
off the table for when we wanna
get to that next level.
220
00:07:39,844 --> 00:07:42,114
Although we are having sex
on tables.
221
00:07:42,151 --> 00:07:43,811
I'm just kidding.
222
00:07:45,197 --> 00:07:47,157
I think we both are really
enjoying living here.
223
00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:48,589
- Yeah, it's great.
- And wanna--
224
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:49,676
want every reason
to keep us here.
225
00:07:49,724 --> 00:07:51,774
One big reason, Julie Glaser.
226
00:07:51,813 --> 00:07:53,343
- My mom is incredible.
- Honestly, if we ended up,
227
00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:55,079
like, being like, we--
this isn't gonna work,
228
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,170
I'm not into this,
I would take--
229
00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:58,249
- Date my mom.
- I wou--
230
00:07:58,297 --> 00:08:00,467
[laughter]
231
00:08:00,517 --> 00:08:01,517
You guys are weird.
232
00:08:01,562 --> 00:08:03,302
[laughter]
233
00:08:03,346 --> 00:08:05,256
We are.
234
00:08:11,572 --> 00:08:13,572
When COVID hit,
I was just gonna hang out
235
00:08:13,617 --> 00:08:15,047
at my parents' place
for a couple weeks
236
00:08:15,097 --> 00:08:17,617
until this whole thing
blew over.
237
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:19,575
And then it ended up
being ten months.
238
00:08:19,623 --> 00:08:21,193
- Yeah.
- This was the moment I knew
239
00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:24,543
something was really bad
about me living at home.
240
00:08:24,585 --> 00:08:26,975
One day, I was walking my dog
in my parents' neighborhood,
241
00:08:27,022 --> 00:08:29,722
and I saw a girl my age,
you know, like,
242
00:08:29,764 --> 00:08:32,294
37-year-old woman drive up
to this beautiful house,
243
00:08:32,331 --> 00:08:34,421
and I go, oh, my God,
that girl's [bleep] living
244
00:08:34,464 --> 00:08:35,774
at home with her parents too.
245
00:08:35,813 --> 00:08:37,603
I'm not--
like, that's not that weird.
246
00:08:37,641 --> 00:08:40,211
It was her house.
247
00:08:40,252 --> 00:08:43,302
That's when I knew I had to
move out of my parents' house.
248
00:08:43,342 --> 00:08:46,222
[upbeat music]
249
00:08:46,258 --> 00:08:48,908
♪
250
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:58,583
Keep going, keep going,
keep going.
251
00:08:58,619 --> 00:09:00,579
Uh, that's gonna fall down.
252
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,760
That leg is weird.
253
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,893
Okay. Yeah.
254
00:09:07,932 --> 00:09:10,022
It still should be over
to the right a little bit,
255
00:09:10,065 --> 00:09:12,495
but I guess you get
what you pay for.
256
00:09:12,546 --> 00:09:13,806
I think it looks pretty good.
257
00:09:13,851 --> 00:09:15,901
It's great, EJ. Jesus.
258
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:18,200
[car horn honks]
Here she comes.
259
00:09:19,465 --> 00:09:20,595
- [chuckling]
- Hola.
260
00:09:20,641 --> 00:09:22,511
- Hey, superstar.
- Hey.
261
00:09:22,556 --> 00:09:23,946
Check out our house.
Look it.
262
00:09:23,992 --> 00:09:25,862
Is she cleaning
the gutters finally, Mom?
263
00:09:25,907 --> 00:09:27,947
No, she can't even
get up there.
264
00:09:27,996 --> 00:09:31,166
My dad was such a good dad
that he [bleep] me up.
265
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:34,606
No man has ever loved me
as much as my dad has.
266
00:09:34,655 --> 00:09:37,045
Her hair looks like mine
during COVID.
267
00:09:38,180 --> 00:09:40,100
When a guy loves me a lot,
I go, ew!
268
00:09:40,138 --> 00:09:42,658
You remind me of my dad. Ugh.
269
00:09:42,706 --> 00:09:44,056
I just--you know,
270
00:09:44,099 --> 00:09:45,799
I wish he would have hugged me
a little less.
271
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,280
One or two thousand times less
272
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,580
per year.
[laughs]
273
00:09:50,627 --> 00:09:51,797
I'm not gonna sit
on this couch
274
00:09:51,846 --> 00:09:53,626
because I have
spray-tanned arms.
275
00:09:53,674 --> 00:09:55,724
- Can I sit by you?
- Yeah.
276
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:58,113
Um, so my lease
is coming up soon.
277
00:09:58,156 --> 00:09:59,976
I, like,
extend it every six months.
278
00:10:00,028 --> 00:10:01,328
- Oh, yeah?
- I feel like I'm really happy
279
00:10:01,377 --> 00:10:02,857
in St. Louis now.
280
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,820
It's easy to say when the
weather is so freaking nice.
281
00:10:04,859 --> 00:10:07,469
Yeah.
So is this a six-month lease,
282
00:10:07,513 --> 00:10:10,263
or you just go by six months?
283
00:10:11,996 --> 00:10:14,216
What--those are
the same question.
284
00:10:14,259 --> 00:10:17,649
The fact that Nikki is living
in St. Louis again,
285
00:10:17,698 --> 00:10:19,788
there's a bunch of cons.
286
00:10:19,830 --> 00:10:21,660
But there's a bunch
of pros too.
287
00:10:21,702 --> 00:10:23,312
She loves to buy dinner
for everybody
288
00:10:23,355 --> 00:10:25,875
from vegan restaurants,
which has been great.
289
00:10:25,923 --> 00:10:27,323
But when Nikki comes over,
it's like,
290
00:10:27,359 --> 00:10:29,749
hide the fact that we had bacon
for breakfast.
291
00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:32,667
Hide the meat.
It's a little game we play.
292
00:10:32,713 --> 00:10:34,633
- We do play that game?
- EJ.
293
00:10:34,671 --> 00:10:36,851
Sounds like a fun game
to play to me.
294
00:10:36,891 --> 00:10:39,371
Can I look around
295
00:10:39,415 --> 00:10:42,235
and maybe borrow some things
for my apartment?
296
00:10:42,287 --> 00:10:43,987
- Maybe.
- I mean, there's just a couple
297
00:10:44,028 --> 00:10:45,808
things I would--I could snag...
298
00:10:45,856 --> 00:10:46,896
- I know, but that's--
- To make my apartment
299
00:10:46,944 --> 00:10:48,554
feel more homey.
- Okay.
300
00:10:48,598 --> 00:10:51,038
Since I graduated college
and have been living on my own,
301
00:10:51,079 --> 00:10:53,169
I have never decorated a space,
302
00:10:53,211 --> 00:10:54,691
because I'm like,
it's always temporary.
303
00:10:54,735 --> 00:10:56,125
Like, I'm always gonna move.
304
00:10:56,171 --> 00:10:59,571
So for me, I'm less likely
to think about moving away
305
00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:01,999
if I'm like, ah, I just
painted that wall though.
306
00:11:02,046 --> 00:11:04,086
- Like what?
- Um, like,
307
00:11:04,135 --> 00:11:05,695
maybe get
my Dave Matthews Band...
308
00:11:05,746 --> 00:11:06,876
- That's, like--
- Thing off the wall.
309
00:11:06,921 --> 00:11:09,751
- Dave Matthews...
- Light switch.
310
00:11:09,793 --> 00:11:11,013
Leave that here.
It'll be here
311
00:11:11,055 --> 00:11:12,925
for the Nikki Glaser
museum someday.
312
00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:14,360
Yeah.
Um, well--
313
00:11:14,406 --> 00:11:17,846
You don't want that,
uh, hornet's nest?
314
00:11:17,888 --> 00:11:20,758
Um, nah, I'm good.
315
00:11:20,804 --> 00:11:22,244
Are these the three wise men
or something?
316
00:11:22,284 --> 00:11:24,074
- No, they're Chinese.
- What are they?
317
00:11:24,112 --> 00:11:25,722
Here's your old skull
from "Macbeth."
318
00:11:25,766 --> 00:11:27,376
Oh, my God.
I had this in "Macbeth."
319
00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:29,159
- Right.
- From your "Macbeth" days.
320
00:11:29,204 --> 00:11:30,554
Maybe she could have this.
321
00:11:30,596 --> 00:11:32,376
There's a lot
of interesting pieces
322
00:11:32,424 --> 00:11:34,384
that my mom has collected
over the years
323
00:11:34,426 --> 00:11:36,036
that my sister and I
are gonna have to fight over
324
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,390
who throws it out first.
325
00:11:37,429 --> 00:11:40,039
Do you have any place
for that stone?
326
00:11:40,084 --> 00:11:41,394
Look how cool it is.
327
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:43,913
I'm gonna inherit a lot
of interesting artifacts
328
00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:46,478
when I put them
in a dope nursing home
329
00:11:46,525 --> 00:11:47,735
that I'm saving up for.
330
00:11:47,788 --> 00:11:50,178
I like it.
Thanks, Mom.
331
00:11:50,225 --> 00:11:52,835
Wait, put it right,
or it'll fall.
332
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,100
It gets knocked over,
it's gonna kill someone.
333
00:11:54,142 --> 00:11:55,802
Yeah, it'll break
if it gets knocked over.
334
00:11:55,839 --> 00:11:58,319
Do I need to hire a bodyguard
for this thing or, like, what?
335
00:11:58,363 --> 00:11:59,583
- Think you're gonna need one.
- [laughs]
336
00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:02,445
I could take maybe one
of your dead birds.
337
00:12:02,498 --> 00:12:04,278
Like--my birds?
338
00:12:04,326 --> 00:12:05,276
[laughs]
339
00:12:05,327 --> 00:12:06,457
[dog whines]
340
00:12:11,812 --> 00:12:14,822
[midtempo music]
341
00:12:14,858 --> 00:12:16,638
Get up here.
You can do it.
342
00:12:16,686 --> 00:12:18,556
Oh, that's such a good boy.
- Oh, big boy.
343
00:12:18,601 --> 00:12:19,991
How old is Luigi?
344
00:12:20,037 --> 00:12:22,777
Well, I got him in 2016,
and he was either, like,
345
00:12:22,823 --> 00:12:25,613
one or six, so...
346
00:12:25,651 --> 00:12:27,001
[laughs]
347
00:12:27,044 --> 00:12:29,134
I originally met Andrew
as a dog walker.
348
00:12:29,177 --> 00:12:31,137
He was walking a dog
with wheels for legs.
349
00:12:31,179 --> 00:12:33,659
One day I took a picture of it,
put it on my Instagram,
350
00:12:33,703 --> 00:12:35,663
and then people started
tagging him in it,
351
00:12:35,705 --> 00:12:37,785
being like, "That's Andrew
Collin. He's a comedian."
352
00:12:37,838 --> 00:12:41,358
And from then on, we were just,
like, best friends.
353
00:12:41,406 --> 00:12:42,486
He doesn't age.
354
00:12:42,538 --> 00:12:45,798
I got him on, uh,
peptides and DGH,
355
00:12:45,846 --> 00:12:47,626
dog growth hormone.
- [laughs]
356
00:12:47,673 --> 00:12:48,673
[knock on door]
- Mama?
357
00:12:48,718 --> 00:12:50,458
- Hi.
- Hi.
358
00:12:50,502 --> 00:12:51,772
Paint supplies.
359
00:12:51,808 --> 00:12:53,508
- Thank you.
- I know.
360
00:12:53,549 --> 00:12:54,809
I am mother of the year.
361
00:12:54,855 --> 00:12:56,325
- You really are.
- Can I say that?
362
00:12:56,378 --> 00:13:00,338
- Yes. What year, 1987?
- Since 1982.
363
00:13:00,382 --> 00:13:02,602
- You look so cute.
- Thank you, Nikki.
364
00:13:02,645 --> 00:13:03,985
But I don't wanna be cute.
365
00:13:04,038 --> 00:13:05,558
I want to be--
- Hot?
366
00:13:05,604 --> 00:13:07,564
- Hot.
- Well, you look like you're
367
00:13:07,606 --> 00:13:09,516
having hot flashes, so...
368
00:13:09,565 --> 00:13:10,995
My room is not clean.
369
00:13:11,045 --> 00:13:12,085
Don't judge it.
- Don't you have to, like,
370
00:13:12,133 --> 00:13:13,923
move stuff to, like, paint?
- Yes.
371
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:16,141
Ooh, this is where
the magic happens.
372
00:13:17,486 --> 00:13:18,566
We might as well
move this too.
373
00:13:18,617 --> 00:13:19,577
Okay.
374
00:13:20,706 --> 00:13:22,226
For God's sakes, move that.
375
00:13:23,579 --> 00:13:25,579
- We don't wanna know.
- Dear God.
376
00:13:25,624 --> 00:13:26,894
This is all of my secrets.
377
00:13:26,930 --> 00:13:28,850
- Oh, God.
- Wait.
378
00:13:28,889 --> 00:13:30,719
I forget how you wear it.
- Oh, boy.
379
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,850
I wasn't surprised
that she had these things.
380
00:13:33,894 --> 00:13:36,904
It was the amount.
It was shocking.
381
00:13:38,594 --> 00:13:41,994
She definitely has
a really good collection.
382
00:13:42,032 --> 00:13:43,862
We gotta move
your mattress sometime.
383
00:13:43,904 --> 00:13:44,824
I'm just kidding.
- There's nothing
384
00:13:44,861 --> 00:13:45,861
under there, EJ.
385
00:13:45,906 --> 00:13:47,256
Let's play a game called
386
00:13:47,298 --> 00:13:49,778
"Sex Toy or Thing You'd Find
in a Nursing Home?"
387
00:13:49,823 --> 00:13:51,043
Oh, for God's sakes.
388
00:13:51,085 --> 00:13:52,735
Okay, I'll close my eyes.
389
00:13:52,782 --> 00:13:55,052
Andrew's just gonna touch it?
390
00:13:55,089 --> 00:13:58,219
Oh, uh, this is definitely
for your toes.
391
00:13:58,266 --> 00:14:00,486
It's a bunion cushion.
392
00:14:00,529 --> 00:14:01,529
This is fun.
393
00:14:01,573 --> 00:14:03,053
Uh, breathing apparatus.
394
00:14:03,097 --> 00:14:04,787
Nope. It's a pussy pump.
395
00:14:04,838 --> 00:14:05,878
Oh.
[laughs]
396
00:14:05,926 --> 00:14:07,576
But it's unused.
397
00:14:07,623 --> 00:14:10,413
I'm really seeing a lot more
than I thought I was gonna see.
398
00:14:10,452 --> 00:14:12,112
I'm gonna get
that hazmat suit on.
399
00:14:12,149 --> 00:14:13,319
[dog whines]
400
00:14:13,368 --> 00:14:15,668
- Mom, you look so funny.
- Thank you.
401
00:14:15,718 --> 00:14:18,418
♪ Everybody get your
mother[bleep] roll on ♪
402
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:20,290
Mom, would you ever use
this color on something?
403
00:14:20,331 --> 00:14:21,811
- Um, no.
- Why not?
404
00:14:21,855 --> 00:14:22,985
Maybe her garage.
405
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:24,600
I would like to pretend
that I'd care
406
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,300
if she painted the whole place
pink, 'cause I'm a man,
407
00:14:27,338 --> 00:14:29,118
and it's gotta
be a manly place...
408
00:14:29,166 --> 00:14:30,686
- He doesn't care.
- But I don't give a [bleep].
409
00:14:30,733 --> 00:14:32,433
He doesn't pay attention
to, like, décor.
410
00:14:32,474 --> 00:14:33,654
He doesn't, like,
care about that stuff.
411
00:14:33,692 --> 00:14:35,432
If it was up to me,
we'd still have
412
00:14:35,477 --> 00:14:38,047
that old, gray couch
and the TV on the floor--
413
00:14:38,088 --> 00:14:40,128
probably still in the box.
414
00:14:40,177 --> 00:14:41,397
You're very limber.
415
00:14:41,439 --> 00:14:42,659
You look like
you're break dancing.
416
00:14:42,701 --> 00:14:45,141
- Yeah.
- You look like a "jabberwocky."
417
00:14:45,182 --> 00:14:48,062
Mom, you look like--
like you need a Life Alert.
418
00:14:48,098 --> 00:14:49,268
You truly look like
you've either
419
00:14:49,317 --> 00:14:51,407
dislocated your leg
or you're competing
420
00:14:51,449 --> 00:14:53,499
in "America's Next Best
Dance Crew."
421
00:14:55,236 --> 00:14:57,276
[upbeat music]
422
00:14:57,325 --> 00:15:01,365
♪ I know where you wanna poop
423
00:15:01,416 --> 00:15:03,366
Yes.
Okay, I forgot a bag.
424
00:15:03,418 --> 00:15:05,328
Don't get scared.
- Oh, God.
425
00:15:05,376 --> 00:15:08,116
This is my technique.
You smother it in mulch.
426
00:15:08,162 --> 00:15:10,292
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Just shut up. Stop it.
427
00:15:10,338 --> 00:15:12,118
You haven't been to the dentist
in ten years.
428
00:15:12,166 --> 00:15:13,646
Don't act like this is gross.
429
00:15:13,689 --> 00:15:15,909
Then I roll it around in it.
- No.
430
00:15:15,952 --> 00:15:17,262
And then I pick it up.
431
00:15:17,301 --> 00:15:18,741
Now it's--
I don't touch [bleep].
432
00:15:18,781 --> 00:15:19,961
I'm touching mulch.
433
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,350
Come on. Let's go.
434
00:15:21,392 --> 00:15:23,662
You're gonna get canceled
for this.
435
00:15:23,699 --> 00:15:26,619
[upbeat music]
436
00:15:26,658 --> 00:15:31,578
♪
437
00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:34,670
And then your thumb goes
through that hole.
438
00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:36,360
Is this too tight?
439
00:15:36,407 --> 00:15:37,497
Usually, I'm asking you that.
440
00:15:37,539 --> 00:15:39,799
That's not a thing
that happens.
441
00:15:39,845 --> 00:15:42,145
I would like to imagine
I rented this out,
442
00:15:42,196 --> 00:15:44,196
but there's just no one here.
443
00:15:45,373 --> 00:15:47,033
This is, like, romantic.
444
00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:47,980
You don't have
to move at all.
445
00:15:48,028 --> 00:15:48,988
Let me just do all the work.
446
00:15:49,029 --> 00:15:50,989
Wow.
447
00:15:51,031 --> 00:15:52,991
[laughs]
448
00:15:53,033 --> 00:15:54,563
Seriously?
449
00:15:54,599 --> 00:15:56,169
Your breathing sounds laborious.
450
00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:57,820
- No, it's fine.
- Oh!
451
00:15:57,863 --> 00:15:59,043
Oh!
452
00:15:59,082 --> 00:16:01,172
Ah.
Are you okay?
453
00:16:01,215 --> 00:16:02,645
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
454
00:16:02,694 --> 00:16:04,044
I don't have much padding
on my butt.
455
00:16:04,087 --> 00:16:05,647
Aw, I'm sorry.
456
00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:06,917
It's okay.
457
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,400
I'm sorry.
458
00:16:09,745 --> 00:16:11,265
- Ugh.
- I thought I could get you
459
00:16:11,312 --> 00:16:12,702
around that rink.
460
00:16:12,748 --> 00:16:14,708
And I failed.
461
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:17,010
No, it's good.
462
00:16:17,057 --> 00:16:19,357
Sometimes I'm like, does
everybody have this good a time
463
00:16:19,407 --> 00:16:22,367
with Glase, or is it just me?
464
00:16:22,410 --> 00:16:24,020
I mean, a lot of people
have a good time with me.
465
00:16:24,064 --> 00:16:25,674
[laughing]
God.
466
00:16:25,717 --> 00:16:29,237
That's some real recent swiping
going on in here.
467
00:16:29,286 --> 00:16:30,366
- Listen--
- It's all right.
468
00:16:30,418 --> 00:16:32,028
No, I know.
- I'll take the apps
469
00:16:32,072 --> 00:16:33,382
off my phone when we're...
470
00:16:33,421 --> 00:16:35,251
- No, it's fine.
- Together.
471
00:16:35,292 --> 00:16:40,082
So you're cool with me
going on dates and swiping?
472
00:16:40,123 --> 00:16:42,263
- Yeah.
- Okay.
473
00:16:42,299 --> 00:16:45,089
You know, we're not together,
474
00:16:45,128 --> 00:16:47,568
officially.
475
00:16:47,609 --> 00:16:50,349
- No.
- And until we're official,
476
00:16:50,394 --> 00:16:53,054
I think we should both
explore other things.
477
00:16:53,093 --> 00:16:54,573
Yeah.
478
00:16:54,616 --> 00:16:57,226
But I always told you
I would tell you
479
00:16:57,271 --> 00:16:58,751
before I did any dick stuff.
480
00:16:58,794 --> 00:17:00,544
[snorts]
481
00:17:00,578 --> 00:17:02,448
- That's a good rule.
- That is a good rule.
482
00:17:02,493 --> 00:17:05,243
But if I'm
sexually satisfied,
483
00:17:05,279 --> 00:17:07,059
the urge ain't there.
484
00:17:07,107 --> 00:17:09,847
- Okay.
- You know that.
485
00:17:09,892 --> 00:17:13,682
We just have a few things
to sort through.
486
00:17:13,722 --> 00:17:14,942
Yeah.
487
00:17:14,984 --> 00:17:16,594
But that's what we're trying
to do here,
488
00:17:16,638 --> 00:17:18,338
is just get better
at communicating,
489
00:17:18,379 --> 00:17:21,339
'cause that's--that's what
trips us up all the time.
490
00:17:21,382 --> 00:17:23,342
I-I gotta be honest,
I look forward
491
00:17:23,384 --> 00:17:25,864
to being able to say
you're my boyfriend.
492
00:17:25,908 --> 00:17:28,428
In the past, Chris and I
have really struggled
493
00:17:28,476 --> 00:17:31,566
with communication and trust.
494
00:17:31,609 --> 00:17:34,869
And those things
are not worked out yet.
495
00:17:34,917 --> 00:17:37,877
If we can figure out
these issues,
496
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,050
then we'd be great.
497
00:17:40,096 --> 00:17:41,786
I know.
498
00:17:41,837 --> 00:17:43,357
For me to actually
commit to him
499
00:17:43,404 --> 00:17:45,454
and try this again seriously,
500
00:17:45,493 --> 00:17:48,543
we need to have those
things ironed out.
501
00:17:48,583 --> 00:17:51,113
Like, just knowing
the other person can handle it
502
00:17:51,151 --> 00:17:55,331
and won't abandon you.
503
00:17:57,157 --> 00:17:59,067
Don't high five me.
- I just did.
504
00:17:59,115 --> 00:18:01,595
You wanna do one of these?
505
00:18:01,639 --> 00:18:03,029
Teamwork.
506
00:18:03,076 --> 00:18:04,506
[laughing]
Teamwork.
507
00:18:10,692 --> 00:18:12,262
I have to compulsively clean
right now,
508
00:18:12,302 --> 00:18:13,522
'cause I have company
coming over,
509
00:18:13,564 --> 00:18:16,004
and we have to make it
look like we live,
510
00:18:16,045 --> 00:18:17,255
you know, responsibly.
511
00:18:17,307 --> 00:18:19,137
Anybody home?
512
00:18:19,179 --> 00:18:21,179
Don't bark. You know Kerstin.
Yes, we're in here.
513
00:18:21,224 --> 00:18:22,184
- Hi!
- Hey!
514
00:18:22,225 --> 00:18:24,005
- Hi!
- [gasps]
515
00:18:24,053 --> 00:18:25,713
My little baby. First.
516
00:18:25,750 --> 00:18:27,140
God, he's gonna
bite your face.
517
00:18:27,187 --> 00:18:28,407
[growls]
518
00:18:28,449 --> 00:18:30,669
Kerstin and I met
in fourth grade.
519
00:18:30,712 --> 00:18:32,542
You made me laugh
when you fell on the floor
520
00:18:32,583 --> 00:18:34,373
during class one day,
and you were pretending
521
00:18:34,411 --> 00:18:35,721
to be a hamster,
and you were saying...
522
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,720
[baby voice]
"I'm a wittle hamster."
523
00:18:37,762 --> 00:18:39,332
[baby voice]
I'm a wittle hamster.
524
00:18:39,373 --> 00:18:40,983
I peed on the carpet.
525
00:18:41,026 --> 00:18:43,196
Thank you so much
for coming in. I'm so excited.
526
00:18:43,246 --> 00:18:44,546
Of course.
It's so easy to get here.
527
00:18:44,595 --> 00:18:45,895
I feel like college.
528
00:18:45,944 --> 00:18:49,034
Hello.
529
00:18:49,078 --> 00:18:50,168
Hi, Mom.
530
00:18:50,210 --> 00:18:52,210
- Surprise.
- What?
531
00:18:52,255 --> 00:18:53,555
Is it my birthday?
532
00:18:53,604 --> 00:18:55,914
No, but it feels like it.
533
00:18:55,954 --> 00:18:57,914
- What did you do?
- These are for your new room.
534
00:18:57,956 --> 00:18:59,736
I'm uncomfortable
with gifts sometimes,
535
00:18:59,784 --> 00:19:01,874
because you have
to act like you like it,
536
00:19:01,917 --> 00:19:04,397
and I did not like
that talking Macaulay Culkin
537
00:19:04,441 --> 00:19:05,791
when I was, like, nine.
538
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:07,014
And I had to pretend
I liked it,
539
00:19:07,052 --> 00:19:08,402
and then everyone thought
I had a crush
540
00:19:08,445 --> 00:19:09,925
on Macaulay Culkin,
and I didn't.
541
00:19:09,968 --> 00:19:11,748
I was just being nice
'cause Grandma bought that doll
542
00:19:11,796 --> 00:19:13,096
that talked,
and everyone was like,
543
00:19:13,146 --> 00:19:16,016
ooh, Nikki and Macauley Culkin.
544
00:19:16,061 --> 00:19:18,021
And I was just like, it's not--
I don't like him.
545
00:19:18,063 --> 00:19:19,723
Oh, it looks pretty good.
546
00:19:19,761 --> 00:19:21,941
- Pink! Oh, my God.
- Pretty good.
547
00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:24,200
- Pretty, pretty, pretty good.
- Pretty, pretty good.
548
00:19:24,244 --> 00:19:26,424
- I also have this.
- Oh, yeah.
549
00:19:26,463 --> 00:19:28,553
How cute is that?
- This essential item.
550
00:19:28,596 --> 00:19:30,896
These are all Goodwill buys.
551
00:19:30,946 --> 00:19:33,506
- Here, open your present.
- Open the big guy.
552
00:19:33,557 --> 00:19:34,987
♪ Da, da-da, da-da
553
00:19:35,037 --> 00:19:36,387
I hope it's just
a picture of Julie.
554
00:19:36,430 --> 00:19:38,350
♪ Da-da, da-da
555
00:19:38,388 --> 00:19:40,128
[gasps]
556
00:19:40,173 --> 00:19:41,783
Yes.
- Oh.
557
00:19:41,826 --> 00:19:44,346
- It's Tay-Tay, I love it.
- Oh, my God, Nikki.
558
00:19:44,394 --> 00:19:46,744
- Yes!
- Oh!
559
00:19:46,788 --> 00:19:48,568
Multiples.
560
00:19:48,616 --> 00:19:49,656
Yes!
- Oh!
561
00:19:49,704 --> 00:19:51,454
Oh, I love this one of her.
562
00:19:51,488 --> 00:19:53,138
Yeah, isn't that cute?
563
00:19:53,186 --> 00:19:54,536
Let's hang 'em.
564
00:19:54,578 --> 00:19:56,538
You know, it's so much fun
having you home.
565
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:58,060
Yeah. I don't get the,
like, you know,
566
00:19:58,103 --> 00:20:00,673
soldier's welcome
when I come home anymore.
567
00:20:00,715 --> 00:20:02,365
- That looks good.
- [burps]
568
00:20:02,412 --> 00:20:03,812
- Ew.
- Sorry.
569
00:20:03,848 --> 00:20:05,978
I used to like really
playing games with you,
570
00:20:06,024 --> 00:20:08,644
Scrabble and stuff, but you
never do that with me anymore.
571
00:20:08,679 --> 00:20:10,459
I'll do that with you.
I can play more games.
572
00:20:10,507 --> 00:20:11,467
- Really?
- Yeah.
573
00:20:11,508 --> 00:20:12,678
Do-do-do-do. Hold on.
574
00:20:12,727 --> 00:20:13,727
I feel like your mom just
575
00:20:13,771 --> 00:20:15,251
likes hammering thi--anything.
576
00:20:15,295 --> 00:20:17,815
My dad did.
That's why I exist.
577
00:20:17,862 --> 00:20:19,212
This is a game
I'm playing right now,
578
00:20:19,255 --> 00:20:20,775
telling you I'm gonna
play a game with you.
579
00:20:20,822 --> 00:20:21,742
And it's gonna
leave you hanging.
580
00:20:21,779 --> 00:20:23,089
You're good. You're winning.
581
00:20:23,128 --> 00:20:24,958
- The games start now, bitch.
- You're winning.
582
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,830
[laughter]
583
00:20:27,872 --> 00:20:30,662
- You look 15.
- I feel 15...
584
00:20:30,701 --> 00:20:34,311
times two, plus five, plus two.
585
00:20:34,357 --> 00:20:36,787
You're good at math.
586
00:20:38,318 --> 00:20:40,488
[laughter]
587
00:20:40,537 --> 00:20:41,497
Next time...
588
00:20:41,538 --> 00:20:42,798
Nikki Glaser!
589
00:20:42,844 --> 00:20:44,894
I do not like performing
in St. Louis.
590
00:20:44,933 --> 00:20:46,203
I didn't have sex
till I was 21.
591
00:20:46,239 --> 00:20:48,109
I didn't have consensual sex
till I was 24.
592
00:20:48,153 --> 00:20:50,463
I don't want people
at the grocery store
593
00:20:50,504 --> 00:20:52,074
knowing what my vagina
looks like.
594
00:20:52,114 --> 00:20:53,294
My mom got SWAT-ed.
595
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:54,863
But see the cop cars outside?
596
00:20:54,899 --> 00:20:56,599
They're like,
where's Nicole Glaser?
597
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:57,860
And then they said,
598
00:20:57,902 --> 00:21:00,342
"She's gonna be sold
into sex slavery."
599
00:21:00,383 --> 00:21:01,993
Sometimes it feels like that.
600
00:21:02,037 --> 00:21:03,727
- It's working.
- I mean, they're out.
601
00:21:03,778 --> 00:21:05,998
Let me know
if a nipple pops out.
602
00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:08,091
I love you.
43880
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