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00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,573
Tromaville, New Jersey, 1984.
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00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:33,182
Melvin Junko, a mop-wielding
healthclub janitor,
3
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:42,387
a scrawny, skinny, weakling,
wimp of a nerd
4
00:00:44,923 --> 00:00:48,214
fell into a misplaced barrel of
toxic chemical waste.
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00:00:53,819 --> 00:00:58,210
Melvin was suddenly transformed into
a hideously deformed creature
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00:00:58,212 --> 00:01:00,927
of super-human size and strength.
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00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:10,774
He became the Toxic Avenger,
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00:01:10,980 --> 00:01:13,985
the first super-hero
from New Jersey.
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00:01:14,259 --> 00:01:17,903
The Toxic Avenger, or Toxie,
as he is affectionately called,
10
00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:19,843
went on to crush crime,
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00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,303
beat corruption
12
00:01:28,315 --> 00:01:32,010
and blast chemical waste in his
hometown of Tromaville.
13
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,592
After cleaning-up Tromaville,
14
00:01:34,663 --> 00:01:37,283
in 1988, the Toxic Avenger rose
15
00:01:37,289 --> 00:01:39,005
from beneath
the rubble of retirement
16
00:01:39,091 --> 00:01:43,204
to challenge the evil chairman
of Apocalypse Incorporated.
17
00:01:43,335 --> 00:01:47,107
Toxie's awesome adventure to abolish
the abominable Apocalypse
18
00:01:47,219 --> 00:01:49,972
took him on an outrageous
odyssey to Japan,
19
00:01:54,423 --> 00:01:57,561
where Toxie continued
to crush crime.
20
00:02:00,898 --> 00:02:05,189
In Japan, Toxie learned the spiritual
disciplines of Sumo wrestling.
21
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:08,227
And the power, beauty
and grace of Sumo
22
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:11,992
made him better able
to rip bad people's heads off.
23
00:02:12,205 --> 00:02:16,116
Now, evil has
returned to Tromaville.
24
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,655
And you are about to witness
what may be...
25
00:02:19,657 --> 00:02:23,156
THE LAST TEMPTATION OF TOXIE
26
00:03:00,526 --> 00:03:04,130
I can't make up my mind.
I can't make up my mind.
27
00:03:05,039 --> 00:03:07,703
- Oy, Lionstein.
- What?
28
00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:09,522
How many times I have to tell you?
29
00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:13,374
You don't put Redneck Zombies
in with the Walt Disneys.
30
00:03:13,923 --> 00:03:17,093
Did you see the Redneck Zombies ?
That was gruesome.
31
00:03:17,127 --> 00:03:21,546
Gruesome! You want gruesome, you should
see my mother-in-law. That's gruesome.
32
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:46,962
Drop those video cassettes
or I'll blow your brains out!
33
00:03:50,889 --> 00:03:53,769
My boy, my boy,
my boy.
34
00:03:55,580 --> 00:03:58,581
Listen up. Listen up good, cause we
got some big news for youse.
35
00:03:58,583 --> 00:04:01,525
- You got it.
- You guys suck.
36
00:04:02,559 --> 00:04:05,332
Pick up the phone.
Please pick up the phone.
37
00:04:05,627 --> 00:04:07,534
Please, please don't hurt me,
I'll do anything
38
00:04:07,536 --> 00:04:09,214
I'll do anything you want.
Just don't hurt me.
39
00:04:09,298 --> 00:04:10,951
What do you guys want?
- Shut the hell up!
40
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:13,775
There's too much
variety in this store.
41
00:04:14,016 --> 00:04:16,200
Now that this
is a Company town,
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00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:19,739
you're all gonna
rent Company tapes. Right?
43
00:04:19,942 --> 00:04:20,942
No!
44
00:04:21,017 --> 00:04:24,193
That's right. From now on,
only the top twenty video tapes
45
00:04:24,195 --> 00:04:26,057
will be available in this store.
46
00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:30,449
The Top Five: The Apocalypse
Self-Improvement tapes from Apocalypse Inc.
47
00:04:30,825 --> 00:04:34,826
But we like variety.
We like having a lot of choices.
48
00:04:34,828 --> 00:04:39,184
We don't want just top twenty.
We like those movies from Troma.
49
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:42,745
Screw Troma movies.
50
00:04:42,974 --> 00:04:46,155
Wait a minute.
Do you want variety?
51
00:04:46,976 --> 00:04:48,552
Do you want choice?
52
00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,228
Well there's plenty of variety here.
53
00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:56,627
MGM, Columbia and Paramount.
54
00:04:58,070 --> 00:05:00,124
And we're the Warner Brothers.
55
00:05:01,163 --> 00:05:03,284
Tear it up!
56
00:05:13,192 --> 00:05:14,738
No!
57
00:06:07,526 --> 00:06:09,897
Please pick up the phone!
58
00:06:17,526 --> 00:06:22,798
It's amazing how they make
this cardboard piece of shit
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00:06:23,732 --> 00:06:25,096
look real.
60
00:06:28,027 --> 00:06:29,483
This piece of shit!
61
00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:44,258
No! No.
62
00:06:49,404 --> 00:06:51,656
Look what they're doing.
63
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:21,873
You know dude, you don't
have much intestinal fortitude.
64
00:07:28,558 --> 00:07:31,219
Oy, oy, oy.
65
00:07:37,813 --> 00:07:41,311
Tore your guts out. Skip to my Lou,
skip to my Lou my darling.
66
00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:02,515
Excuse me folks.
How about checking out our adult section?
67
00:08:34,491 --> 00:08:36,323
Good looking guy.
68
00:09:06,574 --> 00:09:08,182
Very good.
69
00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:18,397
Very good, very good.
70
00:09:50,648 --> 00:09:53,255
Hey faggot!
71
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,402
You talking to me?
72
00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:01,483
That's the way.
Hit him. Kick him.
73
00:10:21,297 --> 00:10:23,838
Now don't touch that dial.
74
00:10:58,923 --> 00:11:02,107
You must die!
75
00:11:32,929 --> 00:11:34,689
Alright.
76
00:11:35,687 --> 00:11:39,613
People of Tromaville,
The Toxic Avenger is back...
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00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,584
and better than ever.
78
00:11:41,793 --> 00:11:43,794
The Toxic Avenger's back.
79
00:11:43,863 --> 00:11:45,699
He's a real man.
80
00:11:52,592 --> 00:11:55,069
Thank you.
Thank you Toxie, you saved us.
81
00:11:55,502 --> 00:11:59,529
Yeah. But it was a rough day,
even for a hideously deformed creature
82
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,038
of super-human size and strength.
83
00:12:02,157 --> 00:12:03,773
What a mensch.
84
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:07,429
Yes, I was a Toxic mensch. I was back--
85
00:12:08,827 --> 00:12:12,427
fighting crime, corruption and toxic waste.
86
00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:14,376
But it wasn't always that way.
87
00:12:14,487 --> 00:12:17,488
Who would believe that
just a few short months ago
88
00:12:17,816 --> 00:12:20,707
I had actually joined
the forces of evil.
89
00:12:20,995 --> 00:12:25,959
I had actually broken my oath
to protect the little people of Tromaville.
90
00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:30,625
I, the Toxic Avenger, had
become a bad dude.
91
00:12:30,761 --> 00:12:32,612
A toxic trouble-maker.
92
00:12:32,817 --> 00:12:34,648
It's a long and grueling story.
93
00:12:34,768 --> 00:12:35,945
So you better sit back.
94
00:12:36,393 --> 00:12:38,670
This is how it all began.
95
00:12:39,095 --> 00:12:42,024
On the surface,
everything seemed terrific.
96
00:12:42,242 --> 00:12:47,584
Tromaville was safe, Tromaville was happy,
Tromaville was prosperous.
97
00:12:47,690 --> 00:12:51,741
This period became known as
"The Golden Age of Tromaville."
98
00:12:53,102 --> 00:12:57,709
My mom was really proud of the fact
that everybody in Tromaville liked me.
99
00:13:00,498 --> 00:13:01,569
It's wonderful!
100
00:13:01,738 --> 00:13:03,639
My mom was
even prouder of the fact
101
00:13:03,641 --> 00:13:06,041
that Claire,
my non-seeing girlfriend
102
00:13:06,137 --> 00:13:08,717
who, you remember in
Toxic Avenger Part Two,
103
00:13:08,978 --> 00:13:11,044
was now going
to be my fiancée
104
00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:14,909
and live with me forever
in Toxic Avenger Part Three.
105
00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:16,238
You got any change?
106
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,426
Mommy's little Melvin
had finally grown up.
107
00:13:20,498 --> 00:13:21,857
There you are.
108
00:13:22,307 --> 00:13:23,868
Good day, Officer Lloyd.
109
00:13:23,919 --> 00:13:28,063
Yes, on the surface, everything
seemed wonderful.
110
00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:35,357
But deep inside of me were swirling
feelings of horrible, horrible insecurity.
111
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,732
I was now twenty-five years old.
112
00:13:39,612 --> 00:13:40,941
But who was I?
113
00:13:41,666 --> 00:13:42,996
What was I?
114
00:13:43,308 --> 00:13:46,281
Yes, I had rid Tromaville of all evil,
115
00:13:47,107 --> 00:13:49,245
but now I had nothing to do.
116
00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:53,061
There weren't even any parking tickets
to give out.
117
00:13:53,173 --> 00:13:54,173
I'm in.
118
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,180
I, the Toxic Avenger,
119
00:13:57,797 --> 00:14:00,469
was reduced to
preventing old ladies
120
00:14:00,623 --> 00:14:02,373
from cheating at cards.
121
00:14:02,683 --> 00:14:04,530
Naughty, naughty.
122
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:09,281
Or, occasionally, I found myself trying
to get naughty children
123
00:14:09,872 --> 00:14:13,023
Excuse me ma'am--
to eat their lima beans.
124
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:23,152
I couldn't even do that right.
125
00:14:23,482 --> 00:14:24,684
Oh brother.
126
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:27,678
How low could a super-hero go?
127
00:14:27,726 --> 00:14:30,763
Claire and I were living in
the same old dump.
128
00:14:30,814 --> 00:14:33,480
I wasn't bringing in any money
as a super-hero
129
00:14:33,626 --> 00:14:35,509
and I became a terrible burden
130
00:14:35,511 --> 00:14:37,825
living off Claire's welfare check.
131
00:14:37,994 --> 00:14:41,240
Claire had a brilliant career going
as a dental hygienist
132
00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:44,002
and she was making
very good money.
133
00:14:44,727 --> 00:14:47,883
Until one day
she had a tragic accident
134
00:14:47,890 --> 00:14:51,210
involving mouthwash...
rendering her blind.
135
00:14:51,213 --> 00:14:54,995
Hi honey, I'm home.
We got the welfare check.
136
00:14:56,988 --> 00:14:58,876
I think I'm losing my edge, Claire.
137
00:15:00,328 --> 00:15:02,413
Oh, Toxie, don't say that.
138
00:15:03,825 --> 00:15:06,683
If only that Lavoris
hadn't splashed in my eyes,
139
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,536
I could see to help you.
140
00:15:09,927 --> 00:15:12,997
Aw, if I could only see.
141
00:15:15,062 --> 00:15:17,407
Ahha! Wait, wait a minute.
142
00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:20,271
I don't believe this.
Wait a, wait a minute!
143
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,121
Wait a minute!
144
00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:23,921
You're gonna see.
145
00:15:24,077 --> 00:15:27,169
Dr. Ron Goldberg says
that your sight can be restored.
146
00:15:28,339 --> 00:15:29,744
"Dear blind person:
147
00:15:30,178 --> 00:15:32,478
"conditions caused by
retinitis pigmentosa
148
00:15:32,572 --> 00:15:35,654
"found in association
with the wide angle glaucoma
149
00:15:35,814 --> 00:15:37,769
"may now be successfully treated
150
00:15:37,801 --> 00:15:40,432
due to the modification
of the argon laser."
151
00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:42,802
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it!
152
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:46,442
This procedure has been perfected on
cave bats.
153
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,478
It's been tested on them in labs and
fifty percent of them lived.
154
00:15:49,546 --> 00:15:52,095
Ah! I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
155
00:15:52,881 --> 00:15:54,024
Uh oh.
156
00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:55,888
Um...
157
00:15:56,709 --> 00:15:58,211
There's a catch.
158
00:15:58,654 --> 00:16:01,548
It doesn't matter Melvin,
it's worth anything!
159
00:16:02,274 --> 00:16:05,906
Three hundred and fifty seven
thousand dollars?
160
00:16:06,314 --> 00:16:07,538
I...
161
00:16:09,061 --> 00:16:11,634
I actually thought I would
be able to see.
162
00:16:12,358 --> 00:16:13,522
Oh well.
163
00:16:14,618 --> 00:16:16,481
It was a nice dream, anyway.
164
00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:24,136
I thought at last I was gonna be able
to see my dear sweet Melvin.
165
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,355
Gee...I'm not so sure
you'd like what you'd see.
166
00:16:29,646 --> 00:16:32,974
Oh Melvin, I just know I would.
167
00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:36,509
You're the nicest boy
I ever met.
168
00:16:36,766 --> 00:16:38,531
I just know you're handsome.
169
00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:43,288
What's the matter, baby?
170
00:16:43,362 --> 00:16:44,546
Nothing.
171
00:16:46,556 --> 00:16:48,092
I just don't want to lose you.
172
00:16:49,302 --> 00:16:52,074
C'mon, we don't know
this operation is dangerous.
173
00:16:52,204 --> 00:16:55,872
And besides, at that price,
it's only a dream
174
00:16:56,121 --> 00:16:59,576
unless I win the Tromaville Times'
Rich and Famous Sweepstakes.
175
00:17:00,276 --> 00:17:01,639
I'm happy just the way I am.
176
00:17:02,405 --> 00:17:06,178
I look at it this way,
I'll never have to see uglinesss
177
00:17:07,332 --> 00:17:11,886
or war or poverty or pollution
178
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,648
or the Cheverolet Nova.
179
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:17,626
No way.
180
00:17:17,691 --> 00:17:19,882
This time we're gonna get
you that operation,
181
00:17:19,885 --> 00:17:21,446
'cause I'm gonna get that job.
182
00:17:23,177 --> 00:17:25,908
You're going to get a job and I'm going
to be able to see.
183
00:17:26,365 --> 00:17:30,512
Because of my love for Claire, I took
the only job available.
184
00:17:30,589 --> 00:17:34,886
The most horrifying and humiliating
job known to mankind.
185
00:17:35,011 --> 00:17:37,077
The Toxic Avenger...
186
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:41,984
I became a representative
of the Internal Revenue Service.
187
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:43,542
Hello, taxman's here.
188
00:17:45,611 --> 00:17:46,611
Hey.
189
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,280
Hey, hey!
190
00:17:54,432 --> 00:17:58,637
Stop it. Stop. Stop throwing things.
Cut it out. Watch out.
191
00:17:59,102 --> 00:18:00,645
Oh. Oh. Ow!
192
00:18:01,293 --> 00:18:05,175
Go back home.
Go back to the jungle where you belong.
193
00:18:06,255 --> 00:18:07,255
We got him.
194
00:18:07,313 --> 00:18:11,198
I tried moonlighting in the high tech
world of video cassette sales,
195
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,669
but it was a mess.
196
00:18:12,970 --> 00:18:15,036
Sir, here.
I got the tapes you wanted.
197
00:18:15,039 --> 00:18:17,490
Oh! Oy vey. God in himmel!
198
00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:20,103
You know every time
you touch the tapes, they melt.
199
00:18:20,143 --> 00:18:24,383
I told you a thousand times, don't touch
the tapes. Look what you've done.
200
00:18:26,592 --> 00:18:28,964
Schmuck, you are fired.
201
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:32,712
My job changing automobile mufflers
was a real bust.
202
00:18:33,121 --> 00:18:35,595
Let me reconnect
these two little wires.
203
00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:37,384
Hey, what's that smell?
204
00:18:43,258 --> 00:18:46,359
Since Claire and I were failing
in the material world,
205
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,499
we decided to spend more
time devoting ourselves
206
00:18:49,718 --> 00:18:51,761
to the spiritual world.
207
00:19:03,624 --> 00:19:08,920
♪ Amazing Grace ♪
208
00:19:08,925 --> 00:19:14,100
♪ How sweet the sound ♪
209
00:19:14,505 --> 00:19:17,174
♪ That saved ♪
210
00:19:17,429 --> 00:19:19,732
♪ a wretch ♪
211
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:26,191
♪ like me ♪
212
00:19:26,788 --> 00:19:31,926
♪ I once was lost ♪
213
00:19:31,945 --> 00:19:36,197
♪ But now am found ♪
214
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:39,599
Do not be tempted by evil.
215
00:19:40,631 --> 00:19:45,067
The reading for today is from Mathew four,
verse eight and nine, and I quote:
216
00:19:46,155 --> 00:19:51,378
"The Devil taketh Jesus up
unto an exceedingly high mountain
217
00:19:51,919 --> 00:19:55,594
"and showeth
him all the kingdoms of the world.
218
00:19:56,072 --> 00:19:57,989
"And the Devil sayeth unto him:
219
00:19:58,587 --> 00:20:01,951
"'All these things I will give thee
220
00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:06,244
if thou wilt kneel down
and worship me."
221
00:20:08,470 --> 00:20:11,286
Thus endeth the lesson.
222
00:20:33,058 --> 00:20:35,979
I was so depressed and insecure
223
00:20:36,396 --> 00:20:38,667
that I began
having nightmares.
224
00:20:57,576 --> 00:21:00,484
Phoo! Man!
Where's my deodorant?
225
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:04,559
Hi guy.
Hey, you do stink.
226
00:21:04,561 --> 00:21:07,036
But that deodorant's
not going to help you.
227
00:21:07,038 --> 00:21:08,088
Remember me?
228
00:21:08,090 --> 00:21:10,056
It's Melvin, the way you used to be
229
00:21:10,058 --> 00:21:12,258
before you fell into that toxic waste
230
00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:16,940
and became a hideously deformed creature
of super-human size and strength.
231
00:21:17,115 --> 00:21:20,950
Look at ya, ya bum.
Ya can't even get a job.
232
00:21:21,193 --> 00:21:25,402
I had a job, even though I was a mop boy
at a health spa. Look at ya!
233
00:21:25,405 --> 00:21:27,727
Tromaville doesn't need you anymore.
234
00:21:27,933 --> 00:21:32,968
I betcha can't even get it up, can ya?
I betchya can't even get a woody.
235
00:21:33,237 --> 00:21:36,647
I could always get it up,
even though I was always alone.
236
00:21:36,690 --> 00:21:39,151
Give me a shot at Claire.
I wanna boff her.
237
00:21:39,226 --> 00:21:41,585
C'mon man, c'mon.
Let me boff her
238
00:21:41,587 --> 00:21:43,575
and show you what
a real man can do.
239
00:21:45,389 --> 00:21:48,335
Homo, wimp, geek. I oughta kill you.
240
00:21:56,093 --> 00:22:01,797
All these things I will give thee if
thou will fall down and work for me.
241
00:22:08,124 --> 00:22:13,082
Look at you. You can't get a job.
You're a bum. You can't get a job.
242
00:22:13,086 --> 00:22:16,630
You can't get a job. You can't get a job.
You can't get a job.
243
00:22:16,724 --> 00:22:21,498
Let me boff Claire. Let me boff Claire.
Let me boff Claire. C'mon.
244
00:22:34,931 --> 00:22:38,112
Melvin, what is it? What is it Melvin?
245
00:22:38,865 --> 00:22:42,242
Oh, it was horrible. It was horrible.
I couldn't stop falling.
246
00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:45,129
I just kept falling and falling.
I couldn't stop.
247
00:22:46,170 --> 00:22:48,507
Oh, poor Melvin. You're very frustrated.
248
00:22:48,555 --> 00:22:50,941
What can I do to relieve you, baby?
249
00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:55,573
- Claire?
- Yes, Melvin?
250
00:22:56,393 --> 00:22:58,175
Where's my blanky?
251
00:23:00,407 --> 00:23:04,196
Right here, Melvin.
252
00:23:07,834 --> 00:23:10,520
I know it always makes you feel better,
Toxie.
253
00:23:37,881 --> 00:23:42,049
While my depression and insecurity
led me to experience
254
00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:44,884
unbelievably realistic nightmares,
255
00:23:45,683 --> 00:23:47,442
they were only nightmares.
256
00:23:48,266 --> 00:23:49,825
But across the river,
257
00:23:50,349 --> 00:23:51,607
in the big city,
258
00:23:52,037 --> 00:23:56,403
there was a giant corporation
called Apocalypse Incorporated,
259
00:23:57,329 --> 00:24:00,275
and it was creating
nightmarish reality.
260
00:24:00,590 --> 00:24:01,843
My good news
261
00:24:01,845 --> 00:24:05,451
is that the newly formed
Five Families Federation
262
00:24:05,649 --> 00:24:08,881
has successfully used their
drug networks
263
00:24:09,344 --> 00:24:14,289
to sell radioactive
grenades to all the third world countries.
264
00:24:20,827 --> 00:24:24,341
Our pilot program in the North Seas
is going well.
265
00:24:24,343 --> 00:24:28,369
We're dumping thirty tons
of PCB's per week.
266
00:24:29,516 --> 00:24:32,338
And even better, we're
dumping seventy-five tons
267
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,916
of radioactive isotopes per day
268
00:24:35,649 --> 00:24:36,649
in the Atlantic.
269
00:24:38,238 --> 00:24:39,737
An excellent record.
270
00:24:41,193 --> 00:24:46,639
I am pleased to report that
our profits from the A.L.S.,
271
00:24:46,641 --> 00:24:49,527
the Above Land Subsidiary,
272
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:51,684
is real good.
273
00:24:51,739 --> 00:24:56,189
And we are now
pumping massive doses of radiation
274
00:24:56,303 --> 00:24:58,454
high in the sky.
275
00:25:05,526 --> 00:25:09,916
Of course there are still
some Sierra Club sissies in Congress
276
00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:12,909
who are afraid of
contamination up there in space.
277
00:25:13,002 --> 00:25:15,046
But we all know
that's baloney, right?
278
00:25:15,049 --> 00:25:16,216
- Yeah! - Right!
279
00:25:16,283 --> 00:25:21,473
I think that at this point, if there's
anyone that we still can't buy off, well...
280
00:25:21,743 --> 00:25:24,464
we'll just have
to do away with them.
281
00:25:33,627 --> 00:25:36,343
Good. Very good.
Yes. Excellent.
282
00:25:36,345 --> 00:25:38,967
Thank you.
Very impressive...
283
00:25:40,132 --> 00:25:42,829
for a bunch of rank amateurs!
284
00:25:47,226 --> 00:25:49,583
Who do you think
you're talking to here?
285
00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:52,655
I'm going for something
bigger than that.
286
00:25:53,103 --> 00:25:58,938
Now, ever since we
lost Tromaville to the Toxic Avenger,
287
00:26:00,069 --> 00:26:02,490
Apocalypse Incorporated has been
288
00:26:03,542 --> 00:26:06,834
treading water, going nowhere.
289
00:26:07,255 --> 00:26:11,815
Am I getting through to you?
Is-is there something that's unclear?
290
00:26:11,860 --> 00:26:13,485
- No. -No. -No
- No!
291
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,207
Good. Then it's settled then.
292
00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:20,829
You know what I want
ladies and gentlemen.
293
00:26:21,460 --> 00:26:26,052
Toxic Avenger delendus est.
294
00:26:37,784 --> 00:26:44,999
♪ From this valley
they say you are leaving. ♪
295
00:26:46,874 --> 00:26:52,107
♪ I will miss your bright eyes ♪
296
00:26:52,109 --> 00:26:54,947
♪ and sweet smile.... ♪
297
00:26:54,950 --> 00:26:59,891
Claire gave me an appreciation of her
most important hobby, music.
298
00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:14,943
And I gave her an appreciation
of my favorite pastime...
299
00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:16,686
video games.
300
00:27:16,765 --> 00:27:19,680
And she learned to play
very skillfully
301
00:27:20,049 --> 00:27:21,141
by ear.
302
00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:23,972
Hey, Toxie baby. How's it hanging?
303
00:27:24,771 --> 00:27:27,393
See this new video game,
Five Levels of Doom ?
304
00:27:28,591 --> 00:27:30,300
It kicks!
305
00:27:39,859 --> 00:27:43,988
Meanwhile, at the headquarters of
Apocalypse Incorporated,
306
00:27:45,980 --> 00:27:47,826
the plot was thickening
307
00:27:50,416 --> 00:27:53,399
and I was to be the cornstarch.
308
00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:58,030
Silence!
309
00:27:59,985 --> 00:28:02,762
With all the evil, rotten, corrupt,
310
00:28:02,770 --> 00:28:05,578
despicably low people in the world,
311
00:28:05,603 --> 00:28:09,551
why is it so difficult for me to
get some help? Mmm?
312
00:28:09,555 --> 00:28:13,035
Well..it's because...I mean...
I tried...to find...and I...
313
00:28:13,087 --> 00:28:15,432
Stop babbling, Malfaire!
314
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,081
You better get your own Toxic Avenger
on the payroll boss.
315
00:28:20,660 --> 00:28:23,344
Mmmm... we can work with that.
316
00:28:23,469 --> 00:28:24,645
We can work with that.
317
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,222
Ah, with some clever maneuvering.
318
00:28:27,534 --> 00:28:30,928
We can have this monster working on
our very own payroll.
319
00:28:31,388 --> 00:28:33,500
Have the legal department draw up a
contract.
320
00:28:33,658 --> 00:28:35,896
But how are you going to convince him
to work with us?
321
00:28:35,996 --> 00:28:39,359
Aah! No beast so fierce
322
00:28:39,665 --> 00:28:42,081
but knows a touch of pity.
323
00:28:42,404 --> 00:28:43,404
Mmm?
324
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,952
He has a girlfriend, does he not?
- Ah hah.
325
00:28:48,030 --> 00:28:52,002
And that girlfriend needs
an eye operation, doesn't she?
326
00:28:52,776 --> 00:28:53,883
Yeah
327
00:28:56,899 --> 00:28:58,801
Two eyes coming up.
328
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,722
As my emotional tailspin
spiralled downward,
329
00:29:21,819 --> 00:29:26,619
the radioactive chemicals
inside my body were going nuts.
330
00:29:26,685 --> 00:29:29,215
Finally, I decided to end it all.
331
00:29:29,906 --> 00:29:34,525
Perhaps Claire could pick up a few dollars
by donating my body to science.
332
00:29:53,526 --> 00:29:57,096
But even at suicide,
I was a toxic flop.
333
00:29:57,237 --> 00:30:01,650
Oh, Melvin. How could you even think
of taking your own life?
334
00:30:02,795 --> 00:30:06,555
I know.
It's these chemicals.
335
00:30:07,626 --> 00:30:09,834
They've taken over my life.
336
00:30:11,521 --> 00:30:13,919
What am I saying?
I don't have a life,
337
00:30:14,183 --> 00:30:15,726
I have a half-life.
338
00:30:16,805 --> 00:30:18,485
What's to become of me?
339
00:30:18,952 --> 00:30:20,207
Of us?
340
00:30:20,526 --> 00:30:22,345
Don't talk like that Melvin.
341
00:30:22,863 --> 00:30:24,366
It scares me.
342
00:30:25,391 --> 00:30:26,683
Anyway,
343
00:30:28,569 --> 00:30:30,421
this came for you
while you were gone.
344
00:30:33,702 --> 00:30:35,504
It smells important.
345
00:30:37,397 --> 00:30:39,205
It's probably more bad news.
346
00:30:39,436 --> 00:30:41,738
They probably want to
repossess this dump.
347
00:30:43,258 --> 00:30:44,489
Here, you read it.
348
00:30:45,754 --> 00:30:47,572
Okay.
349
00:30:49,861 --> 00:30:52,495
It says, uh,
350
00:30:54,660 --> 00:30:56,977
you, you just won the
Nobel Peace Prize
351
00:30:57,391 --> 00:31:00,392
and ah. the Tromaville Times
Rich and Famous Sweepstakes
352
00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:04,585
and they're going to give you
your own Toxic Avenger TV show.
353
00:31:04,885 --> 00:31:05,897
What?
354
00:31:07,671 --> 00:31:10,426
Give me that you crazy,
silly goose.
355
00:31:14,653 --> 00:31:16,476
Dear out-of-work Super-Hero.
356
00:31:17,594 --> 00:31:18,968
Great opportunity?
357
00:31:20,029 --> 00:31:21,471
High salary?
358
00:31:22,265 --> 00:31:23,735
Benefits out of this world?
359
00:31:23,735 --> 00:31:25,143
What is it, Melvin?
360
00:31:25,182 --> 00:31:26,895
It's a job opportunity.
361
00:31:27,292 --> 00:31:28,292
They want me to--
362
00:31:28,295 --> 00:31:31,881
to represent their company
and be their spokesman or something.
363
00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:33,560
I can't believe it.
364
00:31:34,075 --> 00:31:36,478
Claire, this is what
I've been praying for.
365
00:31:37,669 --> 00:31:40,246
I'm so exited.
Yeah!
366
00:31:42,001 --> 00:31:43,971
Look, I'd better
jump over there right now.
367
00:31:45,714 --> 00:31:49,701
But Melvin, you should
put on a fresh tutuuuuu....
368
00:31:50,526 --> 00:31:51,785
Mr. Chairman,
369
00:31:52,764 --> 00:31:54,124
Mr. Chairman.
370
00:31:56,214 --> 00:31:57,881
The Toxic Avenger is here
371
00:31:57,890 --> 00:31:59,725
and his smelly mop
is dripping
372
00:31:59,749 --> 00:32:01,509
all over our reception area.
373
00:32:01,593 --> 00:32:04,893
Melvin Junko!
374
00:32:05,052 --> 00:32:06,495
Yes sir, That's me, sir.
375
00:32:07,403 --> 00:32:10,205
Right on time.
And you brought your resumé.
376
00:32:10,307 --> 00:32:12,858
Uh, yes sir, right here.
Whoah!
377
00:32:14,119 --> 00:32:16,095
Health club mop boy,
mm, good.
378
00:32:16,502 --> 00:32:19,362
First super-hero from New Jersey,
even better.
379
00:32:19,664 --> 00:32:23,777
Special skill, leaping relatively
tall buildings with a running start
380
00:32:23,817 --> 00:32:25,864
and playing video games.
381
00:32:26,802 --> 00:32:28,928
Fantastic, very impressive.
382
00:32:29,867 --> 00:32:32,654
Mr. Junko, we're looking
for a special person
383
00:32:32,656 --> 00:32:35,920
to be the spokesman for
the Apocalypse Corporation.
384
00:32:36,032 --> 00:32:40,866
Someone with charm, charisma
and a nice appearance
385
00:32:41,065 --> 00:32:43,643
to act as ah, the spokesman
386
00:32:43,709 --> 00:32:47,494
and to spread the good news
of our policies to the people.
387
00:32:47,912 --> 00:32:49,443
Just what
are your policies?
388
00:32:49,549 --> 00:32:51,483
Our policy, Mr. Junko:
389
00:32:52,242 --> 00:32:54,734
giving, that's our policy.
390
00:32:54,856 --> 00:32:56,824
Giving to the people
what they want.
391
00:32:56,827 --> 00:32:59,063
Giving to the people what
they need.
392
00:32:59,147 --> 00:33:01,829
fulfilling desires, Mr. Junko.
393
00:33:01,831 --> 00:33:03,514
That's what
I've always done best.
394
00:33:05,232 --> 00:33:06,484
But you ask yourself,
395
00:33:07,550 --> 00:33:08,550
How?
396
00:33:08,905 --> 00:33:11,179
It's just words,
but how do you do it?
397
00:33:11,798 --> 00:33:13,222
By building,
398
00:33:13,392 --> 00:33:16,639
by growing, by taking
small towns like Tromaville
399
00:33:16,732 --> 00:33:20,869
and revitalizing them into
thriving industrial metropolises.
400
00:33:21,026 --> 00:33:23,900
But I always thought Tromaville was
nice the way it was.
401
00:33:24,144 --> 00:33:27,989
But any place can be nicer.
Everything can be better.
402
00:33:28,148 --> 00:33:31,886
I mean, don't we all strive for more?
Don't you deserve more?
403
00:33:32,224 --> 00:33:34,174
I am a man of wealth
and taste.
404
00:33:34,663 --> 00:33:38,238
I want for you-- wealth
and...
405
00:33:38,439 --> 00:33:40,243
your taste is
something we can work on.
406
00:33:40,481 --> 00:33:45,659
Melvin Junko, come on up!
407
00:33:51,163 --> 00:33:52,795
Look out there, my boy.
408
00:33:55,172 --> 00:33:57,778
Let me show you your future.
409
00:33:57,780 --> 00:33:59,181
Ta da!
410
00:33:59,446 --> 00:34:00,846
Toxic shock!
411
00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:03,651
No, no, no, no.
No toxic shock.
412
00:34:03,655 --> 00:34:06,259
Just your
imagination set free.
413
00:34:06,550 --> 00:34:09,812
Look out there, Melvin. More than
you've ever dreamed of.
414
00:34:10,069 --> 00:34:12,209
A proud shining world
415
00:34:12,211 --> 00:34:14,044
with a Porsche
in every driveway.
416
00:34:14,225 --> 00:34:17,160
Chicken McNuggets in every pot.
And you,
417
00:34:18,221 --> 00:34:21,460
you Melvin,
smack dab in the middle of it
418
00:34:21,464 --> 00:34:25,436
with more than you ever wished for.
Loved by millions the world over.
419
00:34:25,593 --> 00:34:29,174
You will be more popular than
the Beatles and Elvis combined.
420
00:34:30,564 --> 00:34:33,320
That sounds like an awful lot
on minumum wage.
421
00:34:33,463 --> 00:34:37,450
Who said minimum wage? Did I say
minimum wage? I didn't say minimum wage.
422
00:34:38,013 --> 00:34:39,591
Melvy, baby,
423
00:34:39,593 --> 00:34:41,346
what self-respecting,
hideously deformed
424
00:34:41,348 --> 00:34:43,105
creature of super-human
size and strength
425
00:34:43,107 --> 00:34:44,849
works for peanuts? Hmm?
426
00:34:44,882 --> 00:34:46,776
Uh, none I guess.
427
00:34:47,393 --> 00:34:50,089
Melvy, you're a star, bubbale.
428
00:34:50,237 --> 00:34:52,396
All these things I will give thee
429
00:34:52,486 --> 00:34:55,281
if thou will fall down
and work for me. Hmm?
430
00:34:55,283 --> 00:34:56,293
Work for me.
431
00:34:56,295 --> 00:34:58,144
Where have I heard that before?
432
00:35:00,877 --> 00:35:03,410
Work for me.
Work for me.
433
00:35:03,479 --> 00:35:06,131
Work for me. Work for me.
434
00:35:06,215 --> 00:35:07,519
Work for me.
435
00:35:08,657 --> 00:35:10,210
Where have I
heard that before?
436
00:35:10,995 --> 00:35:12,738
Must be some sort
of flashback from that
437
00:35:12,740 --> 00:35:14,843
Iron Maiden concert I was at
when I was fifteen.
438
00:35:16,809 --> 00:35:19,112
Now this is no flashback.
439
00:35:20,578 --> 00:35:24,297
Three hundred and fifty-seven
thousand dollars.
440
00:35:24,305 --> 00:35:25,578
And it's all yours.
441
00:35:26,197 --> 00:35:28,815
Count it, boy. Smell it.
442
00:35:30,154 --> 00:35:32,549
I bet a smart kid like you
could put it to good use.
443
00:35:33,460 --> 00:35:35,781
Buy something
nice for your girlfriend.
444
00:35:36,341 --> 00:35:39,744
Something she's
had her...eye on?
445
00:35:41,526 --> 00:35:44,996
Her eyes, I could pay for her operation!
446
00:35:46,220 --> 00:35:47,804
You got a deal Mr. Chairman.
447
00:35:48,794 --> 00:35:51,909
Just sign on the dotted line, right here.
448
00:35:52,659 --> 00:35:54,774
Woops. Sorry the pen slipped.
449
00:35:55,835 --> 00:35:57,427
Welcome aboard
and ah...
450
00:35:57,864 --> 00:35:59,672
we'll see you
...on ah, Monday.
451
00:36:00,504 --> 00:36:02,205
Oh, and ah, Melvin
452
00:36:02,710 --> 00:36:03,894
Yes, Mr. Chairman?
453
00:36:04,537 --> 00:36:06,415
Get rid of that mop.
454
00:36:08,778 --> 00:36:10,718
It looks like hell.
455
00:36:41,526 --> 00:36:44,722
Here comes Mommy, Melvin.
456
00:36:47,842 --> 00:36:50,349
Melvin it's your mommy.
457
00:36:50,559 --> 00:36:53,787
I brought all your
favorite snacks. Melvin!
458
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:56,154
Wait a second, Mom.
I'm on the bowl.
459
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,306
I'll be right there.
460
00:36:57,785 --> 00:36:59,215
Just let me wipe.
461
00:37:00,883 --> 00:37:03,653
Darling, what's that smell?
462
00:37:17,370 --> 00:37:19,441
Whoo! it stinks in here.
463
00:37:21,864 --> 00:37:24,770
Melvin, have you been eating properly?
464
00:37:24,819 --> 00:37:26,371
You look mighty thin to me.
465
00:37:26,455 --> 00:37:28,028
Mom, Mom, never mind that, mom.
466
00:37:28,117 --> 00:37:31,175
Look, look look at this.
I got my own business card.
467
00:37:31,178 --> 00:37:32,894
Your own card.
468
00:37:33,241 --> 00:37:37,477
Why, Mr. Melvin Junko,
assistant to the Chairman!
469
00:37:37,588 --> 00:37:38,697
Yeah Mom, isn't it great!
470
00:37:38,740 --> 00:37:40,840
And Mom,
I get to make special appearences.
471
00:37:41,078 --> 00:37:42,362
And I get to talk to people.
472
00:37:42,526 --> 00:37:45,571
And I get to use all my charm
just like you taught me, Mom.
473
00:37:45,573 --> 00:37:46,498
Oooh, it's wonderful!
474
00:37:46,526 --> 00:37:48,545
Oh Mom, I almost forgot the best part.
475
00:37:48,780 --> 00:37:50,473
The pièce de résistance,
476
00:37:51,219 --> 00:37:52,347
the bank book.
477
00:37:52,397 --> 00:37:54,077
Your own bank book?
478
00:37:54,886 --> 00:37:55,908
What?
479
00:37:55,974 --> 00:37:58,668
Three hundred and fifty-seven
thousand dollars?
480
00:37:58,668 --> 00:38:00,567
Oh, I don't believe it.
481
00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:04,152
And mom, feel the numbers. I had them
raised so Claire could feel them.
482
00:38:04,156 --> 00:38:07,821
Aw, you're such a darling boy.
You're so sweet.
483
00:38:07,997 --> 00:38:10,645
Now we can get Claire
that eye operation she needs.
484
00:38:11,325 --> 00:38:13,484
And a microwave oven
for me!
485
00:38:13,574 --> 00:38:16,161
Oh, I'm so proud of you darling!
486
00:38:16,193 --> 00:38:18,023
I love you Mommy.
487
00:38:18,025 --> 00:38:20,603
I love you too darling.
488
00:38:23,518 --> 00:38:26,983
Oh, but Claire,
I think I should stay here with you.
489
00:38:27,974 --> 00:38:29,707
And miss your first day at work?
490
00:38:30,196 --> 00:38:31,896
Oh, Melvin. It's okay.
491
00:38:32,134 --> 00:38:33,811
It's just going
to be tests today, anyway.
492
00:38:33,952 --> 00:38:36,526
And I have the doctor
and Mother Junko here.
493
00:38:36,617 --> 00:38:38,590
It'll be okay.
494
00:38:38,939 --> 00:38:41,931
That's right, Mr. Junko.
Don't you worry about a thing.
495
00:38:42,065 --> 00:38:43,966
I'll take good are of her.
496
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,585
He's a wonderful doctor He's a member of
the country club.
497
00:38:50,167 --> 00:38:52,328
Are you sure
you want me to go, Claire?
498
00:38:52,393 --> 00:38:55,329
Oh, Melvin. I love you.
499
00:38:56,274 --> 00:38:57,720
I love you too, Claire.
500
00:38:57,979 --> 00:38:59,864
And I'll be back
for the operation.
501
00:39:01,526 --> 00:39:03,943
Ladies and gentlemen,
502
00:39:04,627 --> 00:39:06,701
You haven't waited for nothing.
503
00:39:07,039 --> 00:39:10,843
Soon you'll be in the presence
of a real leader.
504
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:12,494
And here he is.
505
00:39:15,242 --> 00:39:16,853
Right on time.
506
00:39:17,275 --> 00:39:20,601
And he's brought you
a special surprise,
507
00:39:20,636 --> 00:39:24,261
a new employee,
whom you all know and love.
508
00:39:24,316 --> 00:39:27,730
Someone you and I can
trust and depend on.
509
00:39:27,854 --> 00:39:32,397
Someone who really knows how to clean
up this town.
510
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,629
Hi everyone. Hi Mom.
511
00:39:36,049 --> 00:39:39,326
Now citizens, the Chairman.
512
00:39:39,860 --> 00:39:43,301
Hello, how ya doin'?
Hi, how are ya?
513
00:39:45,279 --> 00:39:46,908
Hi people of Tromaville.
514
00:39:48,713 --> 00:39:50,954
Hi everybody.
Hi mom.
515
00:39:52,910 --> 00:39:54,189
Hi everybody.
516
00:39:54,958 --> 00:39:56,395
Look, I got a job.
517
00:40:04,164 --> 00:40:07,860
Mayor Cigarface, people of Tromaville:
518
00:40:08,102 --> 00:40:11,164
Listen to me. Before you pass
any quick judgements,
519
00:40:11,752 --> 00:40:13,710
who are you going
to listen to?
520
00:40:14,311 --> 00:40:17,660
A bunch of
whining environmentalists,
521
00:40:17,664 --> 00:40:20,264
who claim to be
so afraid of toxic waste,
522
00:40:20,285 --> 00:40:21,912
when we know
523
00:40:22,632 --> 00:40:25,988
that waste is
the natural by-product
524
00:40:26,008 --> 00:40:28,839
of every organic process.
525
00:40:29,559 --> 00:40:33,033
Or, are you
going to listen to me?
526
00:40:33,467 --> 00:40:38,392
The one who cares enough
about you... and your families
527
00:40:38,815 --> 00:40:42,458
to build for you
a new and better Tromaville.
528
00:40:42,784 --> 00:40:45,434
No.
Up yours, up yours!
529
00:40:45,462 --> 00:40:49,306
On so noble
an enterprise as this,
530
00:40:49,994 --> 00:40:51,713
a profit there will be.
531
00:40:51,758 --> 00:40:53,477
Yes ladies and gentlemen,
532
00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:57,997
dioxin means dollars.
533
00:40:59,433 --> 00:41:02,485
Chemicals are cash.
534
00:41:02,489 --> 00:41:03,948
Say it to yourselves.
535
00:41:08,929 --> 00:41:12,393
Hold it down, hold it down.
Just listen.
536
00:41:12,460 --> 00:41:13,960
Ahh! Ohh!
537
00:41:14,050 --> 00:41:15,951
He knows
what he's talking about.
538
00:41:16,410 --> 00:41:19,054
I know that some of you out there
seem to think
539
00:41:19,761 --> 00:41:22,195
that chemicals are bad.
540
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:28,031
I submit to you,
you are chemicals.
541
00:41:29,171 --> 00:41:33,117
Everything is made of chemicals.
542
00:41:33,619 --> 00:41:38,072
And join me now
in embracing dioxin
543
00:41:38,213 --> 00:41:39,758
and all her sister chemicals
544
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,183
and everything they represent.
545
00:41:44,675 --> 00:41:46,075
Happiness,
546
00:41:46,989 --> 00:41:48,612
prosperity,
547
00:41:48,968 --> 00:41:50,321
life.
548
00:41:50,659 --> 00:41:53,339
That, people of Tromaville,
549
00:41:53,490 --> 00:41:57,092
is the Apocalypse way.
550
00:41:57,671 --> 00:42:00,143
On my first big day
working for Apocalypse,
551
00:42:00,578 --> 00:42:03,063
I was so excited
about my good fortune
552
00:42:03,188 --> 00:42:05,088
that I didn't notice
that the Tromavillians
553
00:42:05,100 --> 00:42:07,469
were actually
hostile to the Chairman.
554
00:42:09,147 --> 00:42:12,998
Had I known then what I know now about
the evil excesses of capitalism
555
00:42:13,059 --> 00:42:18,053
and the power elite, I surely would never
have joined Apocalypse Incorporated
556
00:42:18,293 --> 00:42:21,449
but I didn't even read Mad Magazine
much less Forbes,
557
00:42:21,625 --> 00:42:23,248
or the Wall Street Journal.
558
00:42:24,441 --> 00:42:28,350
How was I to know that the true agenda
for Apocalypse, Incorporated
559
00:42:28,475 --> 00:42:30,342
was to take over Tromaville
560
00:42:30,377 --> 00:42:32,229
and enslave its people?
561
00:42:32,254 --> 00:42:34,454
No. No. No.
No!
562
00:42:35,408 --> 00:42:37,459
Let go of her.
Let go, ow!
563
00:42:46,466 --> 00:42:48,892
I have to admit,
I did think that it was a bit strange
564
00:42:48,910 --> 00:42:51,512
that the Apocalypse employees
in the gas masks
565
00:42:51,864 --> 00:42:53,516
were beating my friends senseless
566
00:42:53,706 --> 00:42:57,185
and dragging away even my mother
into rehabilitation camps.
567
00:42:58,513 --> 00:43:01,833
But the chairman said that these were
just the usual malcontents
568
00:43:01,993 --> 00:43:04,314
who turn-up for any cause or function;
569
00:43:04,436 --> 00:43:06,602
just there to interfere with progress.
570
00:43:07,178 --> 00:43:09,651
And I bought it hook, line and sinker.
571
00:43:11,526 --> 00:43:15,396
When my new company put the children
to work making agent orange
572
00:43:15,460 --> 00:43:19,430
and other toxic chemicals,
they told me it was a wonderful thing
573
00:43:19,493 --> 00:43:22,829
because all the children would
be earning minimum wage.
574
00:43:23,851 --> 00:43:26,674
And besides, it would develop
their small motor skills.
575
00:43:26,708 --> 00:43:29,620
And they would
really learn their primary colors.
576
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:40,564
Come on. Get up. Get up.
577
00:43:48,576 --> 00:43:51,852
So you think this is going to be the new
home for the blind, do ya?
578
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:54,803
Well, you're wrong.
This is the new nerve gas dump site.
579
00:44:00,159 --> 00:44:02,462
Looks great.
I better go check out our boy.
580
00:44:06,915 --> 00:44:09,304
How's he doing?
- Okay. Let's see.
581
00:44:10,132 --> 00:44:12,378
Mmmh. That's not so heavy.
582
00:44:13,657 --> 00:44:14,853
There you go.
583
00:44:15,938 --> 00:44:17,395
Be careful.
584
00:44:18,779 --> 00:44:21,730
One of my responsibities
was to get the Tromavillians
585
00:44:21,793 --> 00:44:25,413
to join the Apocalypse Incorporated
Self-Improvement Seminars.
586
00:44:28,397 --> 00:44:30,964
I did everything I could
to help these volunteers
587
00:44:30,970 --> 00:44:33,221
find their way
to the right classrooms.
588
00:44:35,516 --> 00:44:38,505
Stop pushing!
Stay in line.
589
00:44:43,786 --> 00:44:45,269
- There you go.
- Thanks.
590
00:44:46,947 --> 00:44:48,238
Apocalypse Incorporated
591
00:44:48,241 --> 00:44:51,507
had me doing a little bit of everything.
- Have a nice day.
592
00:44:51,726 --> 00:44:53,227
C'mon, c'mon.
Watch your step.
593
00:44:53,293 --> 00:44:55,686
We'll tear down
these crummy homes.
594
00:44:55,756 --> 00:44:58,355
Yeah, like this
old silo.
595
00:45:03,226 --> 00:45:05,119
Thanks potato head.
- Bye Bye!
596
00:45:05,125 --> 00:45:07,147
Why don't you nail that sign
down the block.
597
00:45:07,207 --> 00:45:08,374
Have a nice day.
598
00:45:26,426 --> 00:45:29,762
Nurse, would you dispose of this please.
599
00:45:29,826 --> 00:45:31,127
Of course doctor.
600
00:45:31,333 --> 00:45:32,421
Thank you.
601
00:45:34,093 --> 00:45:36,062
Melvin Junko?
602
00:45:37,284 --> 00:45:39,561
Melvin?
- Yes Claire. I'm here.
603
00:45:39,626 --> 00:45:40,822
Doctor?
604
00:45:41,090 --> 00:45:42,966
I'm over here Claire...
I'm over here, relax.
605
00:45:43,141 --> 00:45:44,227
Mother Junko?
606
00:45:44,289 --> 00:45:45,569
I'm here dear.
607
00:45:46,021 --> 00:45:47,026
Melvin?
608
00:45:47,144 --> 00:45:48,218
Yoo-hoo.
609
00:45:48,495 --> 00:45:50,255
Claire, nothing to be afraid of.
610
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,139
You're going to be seeing all those
wonderful things very soon.
611
00:45:53,438 --> 00:45:54,635
Just hold very still.
612
00:45:54,638 --> 00:45:56,116
I don't want to
poke your new eyes out
613
00:45:56,118 --> 00:45:57,207
with these scissors.
614
00:45:58,659 --> 00:46:01,739
Hold very still.
I'm getting there.
615
00:46:02,610 --> 00:46:04,537
Just another moment.
- Melvin?
616
00:46:04,950 --> 00:46:06,150
Just another moment.
617
00:46:07,495 --> 00:46:10,203
Keep your eyes closed
until I tell you to open them.
618
00:46:13,112 --> 00:46:14,598
Okay, very very slowly.
619
00:46:17,297 --> 00:46:18,297
Very slowly.
620
00:46:18,833 --> 00:46:19,833
That's it.
621
00:46:21,489 --> 00:46:23,608
That's it.
That's it Claire.
622
00:46:31,503 --> 00:46:33,528
Melvin it's too horrible.
623
00:46:33,594 --> 00:46:37,344
No Claire, calm down.
Melvin's over there.
624
00:46:49,293 --> 00:46:50,927
Melvin?
625
00:46:53,638 --> 00:46:56,997
Melvin. Melvin, you're beautiful.
626
00:46:57,482 --> 00:46:59,562
Claire. You can see.
You can finally see.
627
00:47:01,093 --> 00:47:04,817
I can see.
This is the happiest day of my life.
628
00:47:05,513 --> 00:47:07,987
Oh Melvin.
Oh darling!
629
00:47:22,453 --> 00:47:28,151
Oh, squeeze me. Oh, squeeze me.
Oh, squeeze me.
630
00:47:30,227 --> 00:47:32,148
Oh, Melvy!
631
00:47:38,727 --> 00:47:40,574
Oh, squeeze me baby.
632
00:47:40,722 --> 00:47:42,189
Oh that's right baby.
633
00:47:47,190 --> 00:47:49,022
No I want to see everything.
634
00:48:02,225 --> 00:48:04,763
So this is your big,
beautiful love machine.
635
00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:10,534
Yes. That's one of the advantages
of being a hideously deformed creature
636
00:48:10,538 --> 00:48:12,824
of super-human size and strength.
637
00:48:16,863 --> 00:48:20,107
Oh, that's nice.
Hold still.
638
00:48:22,181 --> 00:48:24,028
Oh touch me!
Touch me!
639
00:48:24,180 --> 00:48:25,180
Oh, honey, oh!
640
00:48:33,891 --> 00:48:35,123
Yes!
641
00:49:09,367 --> 00:49:10,667
I love you.
642
00:49:35,624 --> 00:49:39,667
♪ Oh, ♪
643
00:49:39,765 --> 00:49:41,744
♪ There's no place ♪
644
00:49:41,784 --> 00:49:44,847
♪ like ♪
645
00:49:45,418 --> 00:49:52,475
♪ home. ♪
646
00:49:53,888 --> 00:49:56,543
I guess I won't
need these canes anymore.
647
00:50:17,485 --> 00:50:19,882
When this land-fill is created,
648
00:50:19,931 --> 00:50:22,470
it will be the largest
chromium waste dump
649
00:50:22,521 --> 00:50:24,580
within a thousand miles.
650
00:50:27,527 --> 00:50:28,866
The Toxic Avenger
651
00:50:28,928 --> 00:50:32,745
is one of Apocalypse's
most promising young executives.
652
00:50:35,007 --> 00:50:36,693
Yea!
- Yeah.
653
00:50:37,829 --> 00:50:39,362
Well done, Melvin.
654
00:50:40,167 --> 00:50:41,905
- Yeah!
- Yea.
655
00:50:53,526 --> 00:50:56,362
Melvin. Here honey,
I made your favorite breakfast.
656
00:50:56,426 --> 00:50:58,608
Radioactive oatbran.
657
00:50:59,004 --> 00:51:01,430
Melvin? Melvin!
658
00:51:02,373 --> 00:51:03,535
Melvin!!
659
00:51:04,889 --> 00:51:06,716
Your breakfast is ready, sweetie.
660
00:51:07,016 --> 00:51:08,527
Heey. No time babe.
661
00:51:09,711 --> 00:51:12,898
Anyway, I gotta do an egg
with the chairman this morning!
662
00:51:14,129 --> 00:51:16,731
like wow, okay, look at this.
663
00:51:16,764 --> 00:51:19,108
Waste Vacuum's up
three pointers.
664
00:51:19,867 --> 00:51:20,875
Huh?
665
00:51:23,214 --> 00:51:26,693
Hey, hey. Don't be so glum.
666
00:51:27,240 --> 00:51:29,545
Soon, it's the weekend.
667
00:51:30,118 --> 00:51:33,018
We'll do brunch.
What are you gonna do this morning, babe?
668
00:51:33,159 --> 00:51:35,886
Well, I thought
I'd take a nice long walk...
669
00:51:36,404 --> 00:51:38,389
...and go over and see the
environmentalists.
670
00:51:38,540 --> 00:51:42,197
They want me to help them save the
Tromaville bird santuary.
671
00:51:43,493 --> 00:51:47,292
But Melvin,
what kind of talk is that?
672
00:51:47,712 --> 00:51:50,649
"Do an egg. Do brunch."
673
00:51:51,724 --> 00:51:54,395
That doesn't sound
like New Jersey talk to me.
674
00:51:55,966 --> 00:51:59,049
That's upwardly mobile lingo, ya know?
675
00:51:59,257 --> 00:52:02,225
But listen,
I got to go, go, go!
676
00:52:02,274 --> 00:52:05,714
So, like he said, okay. S'okay? Okay.
So listen, I got to go.
677
00:52:06,193 --> 00:52:11,341
Oh. Kisses and hugs. Remember, you
gotta go, go, go!
678
00:52:11,559 --> 00:52:14,741
Heh, hey. Yeah!
Ooo, I gotta check that tutu.
679
00:52:15,061 --> 00:52:17,730
There it is. There it is!
It looks great.
680
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,295
Bye-bye. Heh, heh, heh, hah.
681
00:52:21,941 --> 00:52:23,008
Babe?
682
00:52:23,775 --> 00:52:24,932
Do an egg?
683
00:52:25,595 --> 00:52:26,934
Waste Vacuum?
684
00:52:27,891 --> 00:52:29,210
Mmm.
685
00:52:37,996 --> 00:52:39,293
Can you believe it?
686
00:52:39,866 --> 00:52:41,253
I don't know.
687
00:52:42,412 --> 00:52:43,509
Oh my God!
688
00:52:46,013 --> 00:52:48,024
Hey girls. What's up?
- Hey, hey. - Give me some.
689
00:52:48,026 --> 00:52:49,742
The worst of it was poor Claire.
690
00:52:50,596 --> 00:52:52,171
The operation opened her eyes
691
00:52:52,182 --> 00:52:54,748
just in time to see
her beloved Tromaville
692
00:52:54,884 --> 00:52:57,677
overrun with the parasites
of corporate greed
693
00:52:57,917 --> 00:53:00,503
and the vermin
of political corruption.
694
00:53:00,567 --> 00:53:02,782
- Huh!
- And I was the cause of it.
695
00:53:03,698 --> 00:53:04,793
C'mon over here baby.
696
00:53:04,797 --> 00:53:08,437
- How much will it take to get both of you
off the street? Whoah! - Lousy pimp!
697
00:53:08,479 --> 00:53:11,289
What's going on here? Hey you hookers.
Get out of here.
698
00:53:12,201 --> 00:53:13,090
Yes sir. Yes sir.
699
00:53:13,095 --> 00:53:15,129
Leave this young man alone.
Whaddya think your doin' here!
700
00:53:15,133 --> 00:53:17,187
You, you, you, you
and you gotta-- ah-- go-- ooo--
701
00:53:19,156 --> 00:53:23,787
C'mon. C'mon. Don't you know
the babes are checked. C'mon. Move it!
702
00:53:24,757 --> 00:53:25,757
Echh!
703
00:53:26,629 --> 00:53:28,404
Vomit break. Vomit break.
704
00:53:28,595 --> 00:53:30,546
C'mon. Puke or die, you bastards.
705
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:34,702
Get it up. let's go. C'mon, c'mon.
Wheel out that stomach.
706
00:53:34,808 --> 00:53:39,216
C'mon, c'mon. Alright. Tromavillian
Aaaah. Go Home, puke,
707
00:53:39,219 --> 00:53:42,707
come back in 20 minutes. I don't want
to see anybody without puke stains on 'em.
708
00:53:44,281 --> 00:53:48,125
Before I knew it, I'd become
a toxic yuppie on the fast track.
709
00:53:52,333 --> 00:53:55,018
The Tromavillians
tried to put on a brave face,
710
00:53:55,084 --> 00:53:57,745
and made the best
of their mutated environment.
711
00:53:58,150 --> 00:54:02,245
But what does one feed to a creature that
is half frog and half duck?
712
00:54:02,615 --> 00:54:04,724
Worse yet,
what would you call it?
713
00:54:11,526 --> 00:54:14,448
Listen. Listen!
I don't care if she's 80.
714
00:54:14,572 --> 00:54:16,517
If she doesn't have the rent
at the end of the month,
715
00:54:16,519 --> 00:54:17,685
I want her out of there.
716
00:54:20,633 --> 00:54:24,226
Larry, bubbale, baby!
How are ya?
717
00:54:24,955 --> 00:54:26,940
Melvin. I want to talk to you.
718
00:54:28,122 --> 00:54:29,445
Can't it wait?
I'm on the phone.
719
00:54:29,618 --> 00:54:30,340
No.
720
00:54:30,345 --> 00:54:33,622
Well, I gotta go.
Claire's being a nudge.
721
00:54:35,134 --> 00:54:36,167
Ah, yes.
722
00:54:38,067 --> 00:54:40,235
Melvin, something's very wrong.
723
00:54:40,782 --> 00:54:42,502
This company you're working for,
724
00:54:43,478 --> 00:54:45,423
I think they're doing evil things.
725
00:54:46,214 --> 00:54:47,422
Don't be silly.
726
00:54:48,242 --> 00:54:50,064
You've changed so much, lately.
727
00:54:50,433 --> 00:54:52,093
You seem so different.
728
00:54:53,050 --> 00:54:54,940
You're just not yourself, lately.
729
00:54:55,187 --> 00:54:58,418
Well, yes, but...
how could you badmouth Apocalypse?
730
00:54:58,526 --> 00:55:00,861
I mean, c'mon.
If it wasn't for them,
731
00:55:01,260 --> 00:55:04,161
you would still be
stumbling around on that cane.
732
00:55:05,111 --> 00:55:06,207
I know,
733
00:55:06,386 --> 00:55:09,689
but I'd rather be,
I'd rather be blind in heaven
734
00:55:10,222 --> 00:55:11,637
than sighted in hell.
735
00:55:12,598 --> 00:55:14,269
Tromaville's being destroyed.
736
00:55:14,489 --> 00:55:18,070
And all you can do is listen to executapes
morning, noon and night.
737
00:55:18,798 --> 00:55:19,824
Melvin,
738
00:55:20,950 --> 00:55:23,354
I think someone is trying to
brainwash you.
739
00:55:25,119 --> 00:55:27,399
I don't have to listen
to this garbage.
740
00:55:29,758 --> 00:55:33,490
You just remember, I signed that
contract for YOU !
741
00:55:36,318 --> 00:55:37,566
And I gave up my blindness
742
00:55:37,669 --> 00:55:40,065
to see you get involved in a plot
to pollute the world!?
743
00:55:40,248 --> 00:55:41,302
Haah!
744
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,779
What about all the people who counted
on you to clean-up evil?
745
00:55:44,904 --> 00:55:47,323
What about all the kids
who believed in you?
746
00:55:48,092 --> 00:55:50,691
What about all those people
in reel 9 of the first movie
747
00:55:50,693 --> 00:55:52,221
who stood up for you?
748
00:55:54,359 --> 00:55:57,413
What about the messengers, Melvin?
You're their hero.
749
00:55:58,346 --> 00:56:01,487
What about all those marvelous people
out there in the dark?
750
00:56:02,267 --> 00:56:04,265
What about your
favorite patriots, Melvin?
751
00:56:04,684 --> 00:56:07,778
Is life so dear,
or peace so sweet
752
00:56:08,010 --> 00:56:10,511
as to be purchased
at the price of slavery?
753
00:56:11,434 --> 00:56:14,544
I know not what course
others may take... but as for me,...
754
00:56:16,184 --> 00:56:18,866
Give me liberty,
or give me death!
755
00:56:21,549 --> 00:56:22,874
I'm outta here.
756
00:56:24,127 --> 00:56:25,656
Just walk out the door and...
757
00:56:26,375 --> 00:56:28,431
and turn your back on humanity.
758
00:56:38,007 --> 00:56:40,803
Phooey on you, toxic traitor.
759
00:56:41,224 --> 00:56:42,790
Boo, toxic bad guy.
760
00:56:44,300 --> 00:56:45,599
Pick on Donald Trump.
761
00:56:45,807 --> 00:56:47,592
Why don't you
go out to Exxon.
762
00:56:54,335 --> 00:56:58,176
I felt that my whole world was
caving in around me.
763
00:56:58,357 --> 00:57:00,970
I went to my favorite place
to sit and think:
764
00:57:01,914 --> 00:57:03,012
the junkyard.
765
00:57:03,239 --> 00:57:05,362
Coming to this place had
always comforted me.
766
00:57:06,435 --> 00:57:08,918
But now, the old cars,
767
00:57:09,147 --> 00:57:11,834
the headlights
were staring at me.
768
00:57:12,444 --> 00:57:15,484
The grills were grinning
and mocking me.
769
00:57:16,413 --> 00:57:21,715
Oh, oh, oh. Whoah, whoah.
770
00:57:21,726 --> 00:57:28,458
300 and 57,000 dollars.
It's all yours.
771
00:57:28,941 --> 00:57:35,036
300... ... ...for you.
- 300 and 57,000 dollars, its all yours.
772
00:57:35,559 --> 00:57:39,991
Wooh, ha, ha, ha.
- Whoah.
773
00:57:48,504 --> 00:57:50,824
All these things....
774
00:57:50,998 --> 00:57:52,726
Whoa... whoa...
775
00:57:53,210 --> 00:57:54,552
Let me boff Claire.
776
00:58:11,322 --> 00:58:12,822
Whoa, oh, oh...
777
00:58:18,993 --> 00:58:20,923
Let me boff Claire....
778
00:58:26,633 --> 00:58:31,357
We won't rescue you...
let me boff Claire.
779
00:58:37,893 --> 00:58:41,807
$357,OOO. Ha, Ha, Ha.
780
00:58:42,152 --> 00:58:48,806
$357,OOO.
$357,OOO. Ha, ha, ha.
781
00:59:05,106 --> 00:59:11,995
All this can be yours!
If you will work for me.
782
00:59:12,526 --> 00:59:14,241
All this,
783
00:59:14,268 --> 00:59:19,552
if you will fall down
and worship me!
784
00:59:24,950 --> 00:59:27,167
Wait a minute!
You said worship me.
785
00:59:27,217 --> 00:59:28,502
You said worship me!
786
00:59:28,549 --> 00:59:30,059
Not work for me.
787
00:59:31,096 --> 00:59:32,987
Where have I heard
that before?
788
00:59:33,312 --> 00:59:36,701
All these things I will give thee,
789
00:59:36,896 --> 00:59:40,596
if thou wilt kneel down
and worship me!
790
00:59:42,081 --> 00:59:45,497
Oh, nooo!
791
00:59:52,559 --> 00:59:56,531
Nooo!
792
01:00:10,468 --> 01:00:14,077
How could I have thought
that I was helping Tromaville?
793
01:00:15,475 --> 01:00:18,192
How could I have been so deluded?
794
01:00:19,652 --> 01:00:21,712
Oh, I can't believe it.
795
01:00:22,517 --> 01:00:24,182
Claire was right.
796
01:00:25,420 --> 01:00:26,965
What have I done?
797
01:00:28,666 --> 01:00:30,713
Have I sold my soul?
798
01:00:31,379 --> 01:00:33,121
What have I become?
799
01:00:33,644 --> 01:00:35,685
I'm evil.
Evil.
800
01:00:36,717 --> 01:00:38,467
How can I face her again?
801
01:00:38,892 --> 01:00:40,939
What can I say
to make it up to her?
802
01:00:46,227 --> 01:00:47,854
I can't believe it.
803
01:01:01,862 --> 01:01:03,086
Claire,
804
01:01:04,129 --> 01:01:05,297
Claire,
805
01:01:06,657 --> 01:01:07,657
Claire,
806
01:01:08,810 --> 01:01:10,054
Claire.
807
01:01:11,020 --> 01:01:12,020
Wake up.
808
01:01:12,794 --> 01:01:13,994
Wake up.
809
01:01:15,697 --> 01:01:17,089
Melvin, what's wrong?
810
01:01:17,601 --> 01:01:19,057
You're shaking.
811
01:01:20,009 --> 01:01:22,436
Don't worry. I'll be alright.
812
01:01:23,303 --> 01:01:25,940
I think your eye operation
has helped me to see.
813
01:01:27,891 --> 01:01:29,109
You were right.
814
01:01:29,402 --> 01:01:31,135
Apocalypse is evil.
815
01:01:31,729 --> 01:01:33,405
They do horrible things.
816
01:01:35,083 --> 01:01:36,845
I've got to stand up and fight them.
817
01:01:38,322 --> 01:01:40,252
But how? How are you going to do that?
818
01:01:40,585 --> 01:01:42,298
Well, the sumos taught me
819
01:01:42,505 --> 01:01:44,502
that when you
face a formidable opponent,
820
01:01:45,684 --> 01:01:47,130
you must make the first move.
821
01:01:48,023 --> 01:01:50,025
I'm so proud of you, baby.
822
01:01:51,114 --> 01:01:53,247
But how will
you fight Apocalypse?
823
01:01:55,937 --> 01:01:57,845
How will I fight them?
824
01:02:03,115 --> 01:02:06,335
How will I fight them?
How will I fight them?
825
01:02:08,518 --> 01:02:10,453
The old fashioned way, that's how!
826
01:02:10,609 --> 01:02:12,060
Oh, Melvin!
827
01:02:12,167 --> 01:02:16,263
Well, that's the whole, horrible,
terrible truth.
828
01:02:16,899 --> 01:02:18,520
What a mensch!
829
01:02:22,411 --> 01:02:25,497
But now I was ready
to make amends.
830
01:02:25,777 --> 01:02:27,944
Now I would show the good
people of Tromaville
831
01:02:28,081 --> 01:02:31,519
that they could look up to me once
again as their very own,
832
01:02:31,539 --> 01:02:35,662
newly reformed, hideously deformed,
super-hero.
833
01:02:35,793 --> 01:02:39,136
But first I had to earn their respect.
834
01:02:39,765 --> 01:02:41,988
As quick as my two feet
would take me,
835
01:02:41,991 --> 01:02:44,821
I was out there
giving them my toxic all.
836
01:02:45,129 --> 01:02:48,138
The Toxic Avenger is coming.
837
01:02:48,185 --> 01:02:49,837
Melvin's back.
838
01:02:58,331 --> 01:03:00,041
The Toxic Avenger is back
839
01:03:00,191 --> 01:03:01,766
The Toxic Avenger's coming.
840
01:03:01,842 --> 01:03:03,634
Melvin, bbbbbb.
841
01:03:09,542 --> 01:03:11,387
Thank you for saving my dog. Toxie.
842
01:03:11,487 --> 01:03:13,567
Here's your doggie, good junior citizens.
843
01:03:25,824 --> 01:03:29,264
Helping to undo all the
horrible wrongs I had committed
844
01:03:29,426 --> 01:03:32,688
during my descent
into the Chairman's clutches.
845
01:03:32,747 --> 01:03:36,915
But now, I was ready to confront the
evil chairman on his own turf.
846
01:03:36,981 --> 01:03:39,352
I would mop up
the evil in Tromaville
847
01:03:39,384 --> 01:03:42,390
and make room for
''The Toxic Avenger Part Four!''
848
01:03:58,338 --> 01:04:01,741
Aah, my new assistant.
849
01:04:02,056 --> 01:04:04,007
Still carrying that mop I see.
850
01:04:05,133 --> 01:04:09,291
Here to ah, clean up
the new headquarters?
851
01:04:09,319 --> 01:04:11,096
Ha, ha, ha...
852
01:04:11,825 --> 01:04:13,301
Here to clean 'em out!
853
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:16,833
Ho, ho. It was a joke!
854
01:04:16,964 --> 01:04:19,221
Melvin, Melvin, Melvin.
What's wrong?
855
01:04:19,736 --> 01:04:23,289
I thought, uh, we were partners.
You and I had a deal, hm-hm?
856
01:04:23,642 --> 01:04:26,161
Toxic Avenger
doesn't deal with evil.
857
01:04:27,685 --> 01:04:30,734
Well, well. I think our boy
knows something.
858
01:04:31,260 --> 01:04:33,009
I think I know who you are!
859
01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:37,123
- Whooo.
- A contract is a contract.
860
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,905
And you're a man of your word.
861
01:04:40,037 --> 01:04:43,932
Right, Melvinnnnn!
862
01:04:47,670 --> 01:04:50,269
I don't care
about your dumb contract.
863
01:04:50,470 --> 01:04:52,605
We want you out of Tromaville.
864
01:04:56,739 --> 01:05:00,353
Good citizens of Tromaville,
Apocalypse is through.
865
01:05:00,634 --> 01:05:02,748
Chairman, you're history.
866
01:05:07,340 --> 01:05:10,071
Yes, Melvin.
867
01:05:10,229 --> 01:05:13,979
I am history.
Ah, ha, ha, ha. ha...
868
01:05:14,060 --> 01:05:16,237
- What's happening? - Oh my God,
- Look at that!
869
01:05:16,316 --> 01:05:19,201
Oh, you still don't realize
870
01:05:19,301 --> 01:05:23,153
whom you're dealing with,
do you?
871
01:05:24,150 --> 01:05:28,518
See me as I am !!!
872
01:05:30,270 --> 01:05:33,388
Ahhrgh !!
873
01:05:36,964 --> 01:05:38,398
Stay back. Stay back.
874
01:05:43,281 --> 01:05:45,722
-Whoo! Ooo, what fun!
875
01:05:45,728 --> 01:05:48,655
Oh, oh, my purpose! Ooo!
876
01:05:49,689 --> 01:05:50,974
Ooo...
877
01:06:41,398 --> 01:06:42,398
Ewww!
878
01:06:42,870 --> 01:06:45,190
I'm totally confused.
879
01:06:45,870 --> 01:06:48,161
Oh! The Devil.
880
01:06:57,534 --> 01:06:59,838
Ah, ha, ha, ha.
881
01:07:14,859 --> 01:07:15,859
Yewch!
882
01:07:29,645 --> 01:07:32,573
You are one ugly amphibian.
883
01:08:05,470 --> 01:08:07,872
Alright, Junko.
884
01:08:08,068 --> 01:08:10,022
Let's party.
885
01:08:32,047 --> 01:08:34,694
No problem.
I meant to do that.
886
01:08:35,582 --> 01:08:38,405
What will it be?
Dark places?
887
01:08:38,592 --> 01:08:40,257
Magic swords?
888
01:08:40,460 --> 01:08:43,752
Choose your weapon
and your arena.
889
01:08:44,390 --> 01:08:46,968
Oh, I know.
890
01:08:47,398 --> 01:08:50,662
You play video games,
don't you Melvin?
891
01:08:51,270 --> 01:08:56,719
I'm going to show you the
Five Levels of Doom.
892
01:08:58,435 --> 01:08:59,564
Earth,
893
01:08:59,935 --> 01:09:01,090
wind,
894
01:09:01,223 --> 01:09:02,428
fire,
895
01:09:02,487 --> 01:09:03,487
water
896
01:09:03,574 --> 01:09:05,134
and the last one.
897
01:09:06,753 --> 01:09:09,245
But nobody gets to the last
one anyway.
898
01:09:13,340 --> 01:09:15,723
Then let
the battle begin.
899
01:09:15,733 --> 01:09:18,842
Ready or not,
here we go!
900
01:09:24,301 --> 01:09:27,425
Oooo.
Level One: Earth.
901
01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:37,246
Oh, Melvy!
902
01:09:49,146 --> 01:09:51,629
Oh, oh. I don't believe it!
903
01:09:57,810 --> 01:09:59,123
Oh no, oh!
904
01:10:04,555 --> 01:10:08,903
This is one load of toxic waste
that won't stay buried.
905
01:10:09,103 --> 01:10:11,553
Hey you!
Hey normal face!
906
01:10:12,081 --> 01:10:15,363
Get him! I'll give you
a thousand dollars to run that guy over.
907
01:10:15,902 --> 01:10:19,275
Wait, the budget for this movie is
only two million.
908
01:10:19,337 --> 01:10:22,873
Thirty! Thirty dollars... I'll give you
thirty dollars to run over that guy.
909
01:10:35,904 --> 01:10:39,187
Get him! Get him!
Run him over now.
910
01:10:42,207 --> 01:10:44,117
Melvin, watch out!
911
01:10:44,120 --> 01:10:45,505
Stop!
Stop it!
912
01:10:48,650 --> 01:10:52,236
The Devil has paralyzed me,
I can't move.
913
01:10:52,405 --> 01:10:53,895
I can't move!
- Save my son.
914
01:11:24,766 --> 01:11:26,192
Melvin!
915
01:11:45,239 --> 01:11:46,639
Huh?
- Oh.
916
01:11:50,216 --> 01:11:52,206
That's my son.
917
01:11:54,285 --> 01:11:56,127
Ah! You did it!
918
01:12:01,386 --> 01:12:05,036
Mmmh.
Nice work, Mevlin.
919
01:12:06,314 --> 01:12:08,874
But now, we're up to level two.
920
01:12:09,589 --> 01:12:12,273
A personal favorite of mine...
921
01:12:12,337 --> 01:12:13,875
Fire.
922
01:12:19,938 --> 01:12:23,349
I'll turn Tromaville into ashes.
923
01:12:33,050 --> 01:12:35,232
Have a taste of hell.
924
01:12:55,043 --> 01:12:57,689
Oh please,
carry the water.
925
01:12:58,043 --> 01:12:59,994
Please, put him out.
Water!
926
01:13:05,052 --> 01:13:06,519
Please, somebody help.
927
01:13:12,753 --> 01:13:15,218
Oh no we're out of water.
928
01:13:16,404 --> 01:13:18,841
C'mon outta that tu-tu, John Henry.
929
01:13:49,354 --> 01:13:51,359
Now I'm pissed.
930
01:13:51,653 --> 01:13:53,868
Your friends save you.
931
01:13:54,170 --> 01:13:57,449
But can you
save your friends?
932
01:14:06,659 --> 01:14:09,925
Oh, see the little children getting
on the school bus.
933
01:14:12,022 --> 01:14:14,250
It's fun and games time.
934
01:14:19,070 --> 01:14:23,984
Don't make a fuss.
Leave the driving to us.
935
01:14:31,767 --> 01:14:32,906
All aboard.
936
01:14:37,543 --> 01:14:38,989
Melvin look!
937
01:14:39,826 --> 01:14:42,141
They're all going my way.
938
01:14:44,684 --> 01:14:46,840
No, not the children.
939
01:14:47,436 --> 01:14:49,172
Your battle is with me.
940
01:14:53,505 --> 01:14:55,519
Safety first kids.
941
01:14:57,366 --> 01:15:00,274
Hold on kiddies,
we're going through a curve.
942
01:15:21,333 --> 01:15:22,867
Stay calm good citizen.
943
01:15:24,379 --> 01:15:26,513
♪ Miss Lucy had a steamboat ♪
944
01:15:26,545 --> 01:15:27,983
♪ The steamboat had a bell ♪
945
01:15:28,454 --> 01:15:30,054
♪ Miss Lucy went to heaven ♪
946
01:15:30,057 --> 01:15:31,893
♪ And the steamboat went to hell. ♪
947
01:15:35,783 --> 01:15:39,734
Da dum, da da de dum,
da dum, da dum....
948
01:15:46,050 --> 01:15:49,452
This is so good.
- Marvelous. -Yeah good.
949
01:15:51,860 --> 01:15:53,754
This is good pie.
950
01:15:59,112 --> 01:16:01,059
That's pork, Rabbi!
951
01:16:02,051 --> 01:16:03,126
Hey look!
952
01:16:10,389 --> 01:16:11,389
No!
953
01:16:14,258 --> 01:16:15,358
What?
954
01:16:20,163 --> 01:16:21,547
No.
955
01:16:21,579 --> 01:16:22,579
Watch out.
956
01:16:25,332 --> 01:16:26,370
No.
957
01:16:27,506 --> 01:16:29,348
Watch out.
Get out of the way.
958
01:16:38,498 --> 01:16:39,638
Oy.
959
01:16:45,877 --> 01:16:46,877
Gotcha.
960
01:16:50,158 --> 01:16:53,065
C'mon, c'mon.
Break some legs, let's go!
961
01:17:29,832 --> 01:17:31,301
That got 'em
962
01:17:32,497 --> 01:17:35,603
Don't be frightened.
I'm coming!
963
01:17:37,235 --> 01:17:39,723
How do you like this level of Doom?
964
01:17:40,113 --> 01:17:41,698
Wind.
965
01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:48,220
Oh, give up now Melvin,
and they live.
966
01:17:49,288 --> 01:17:50,337
Never.
967
01:17:56,963 --> 01:17:58,005
Let's go.
968
01:17:59,646 --> 01:18:03,805
- Help! - Help! - Help!!
- Help! - Help!
969
01:18:04,568 --> 01:18:06,388
I've got to save 'em.
970
01:18:07,965 --> 01:18:09,920
Ow, uh, ouch, ow, oh...
971
01:18:12,231 --> 01:18:13,331
No!
972
01:18:16,166 --> 01:18:19,735
Have no fear children.
Toxic's here!
973
01:18:28,288 --> 01:18:30,477
I can't do this.
I'm not Superman.
974
01:18:31,007 --> 01:18:32,055
I got it!
975
01:18:38,391 --> 01:18:41,678
Don't just stand there, Malfaire.
Shoot him!
976
01:18:41,991 --> 01:18:43,492
Aw, it's jammed.
977
01:18:59,557 --> 01:19:02,774
There. Alright, everybody out.
Quick! Move it.
978
01:19:05,624 --> 01:19:07,659
Fall bus fall.
979
01:19:12,098 --> 01:19:14,166
Hurry. The bus is about to fall.
980
01:19:14,231 --> 01:19:15,232
Thanks Toxie.
981
01:19:17,032 --> 01:19:18,366
There you go.
982
01:19:18,975 --> 01:19:19,925
Thank you Melvin.
983
01:19:19,931 --> 01:19:21,300
Don't mention it Glenn.
984
01:19:28,265 --> 01:19:31,334
Get out now or you won't be around to
see how this movie ends.
985
01:19:31,398 --> 01:19:33,299
Hurry. C'mon.
986
01:20:01,112 --> 01:20:04,747
I'm melting.
987
01:20:04,910 --> 01:20:08,677
The witch is dead.
Yeah!
988
01:20:10,252 --> 01:20:13,806
Ding dong, the witch is dead.
- Yay!
989
01:20:17,052 --> 01:20:18,457
Melvin! Yay!
990
01:20:23,731 --> 01:20:26,934
Oh my God,
the Devil's fixing the bus.
991
01:20:29,055 --> 01:20:31,066
He's putting it
back together again.
992
01:20:35,167 --> 01:20:36,233
What's going on?
993
01:21:02,382 --> 01:21:05,308
Ah, you may have
left Malfaire flat.
994
01:21:05,538 --> 01:21:08,885
But now
you will perish, Avenger.
995
01:21:13,698 --> 01:21:16,429
This next level of Doom
is a doosie.
996
01:21:17,164 --> 01:21:18,164
Water.
997
01:21:20,560 --> 01:21:22,033
Stop that bus.
998
01:21:24,565 --> 01:21:26,133
Banzai.
999
01:21:27,265 --> 01:21:28,532
You devil you.
1000
01:21:28,598 --> 01:21:30,366
Don't slip you.
1001
01:21:34,698 --> 01:21:36,640
Hang on Melvin.
1002
01:21:57,331 --> 01:22:00,755
Don't drive into Bob Tall's Famous
Fantasy Acres Mud Bogs.
1003
01:22:46,032 --> 01:22:48,591
- Oh no. - No!
- Oh no, no!
1004
01:23:00,490 --> 01:23:02,959
-Yah! - Yay!
- Yeah.
1005
01:23:07,532 --> 01:23:09,409
Oh God.
1006
01:23:09,420 --> 01:23:11,012
It's an old Sumo trick.
1007
01:23:11,303 --> 01:23:13,383
They use it whenever they're in
a runaway school bus
1008
01:23:13,485 --> 01:23:15,963
that plunges
into a deadly pool of
1009
01:23:16,058 --> 01:23:17,847
muddy, murky water.
1010
01:23:23,054 --> 01:23:25,925
'Scuse me. Excuse me, people.
Get out of the way.
1011
01:23:25,954 --> 01:23:29,227
I've gotta clean up
this dirty mess in Tromaville.
1012
01:23:31,080 --> 01:23:34,889
You are becoming
an annoying horsefly.
1013
01:23:35,219 --> 01:23:37,647
But swatting time is here.
1014
01:23:37,898 --> 01:23:41,435
I bring you,
courtesy of hell,
1015
01:23:41,510 --> 01:23:44,288
the final level of Doom.
1016
01:23:44,632 --> 01:23:49,056
The mind is a terrible thing
to waste.
1017
01:23:49,498 --> 01:23:50,889
And I...
1018
01:23:50,937 --> 01:23:54,742
am going to waste yours.
1019
01:24:08,708 --> 01:24:10,497
Stop it! Stop it!
1020
01:24:14,879 --> 01:24:18,489
What's happening to me?
I don't feel so well.
1021
01:24:23,694 --> 01:24:25,831
You ought to
treat those boils.
1022
01:24:28,998 --> 01:24:32,764
Oh, what's the matter, Melvin?
Got a headache?
1023
01:24:37,589 --> 01:24:38,589
No!
1024
01:25:24,585 --> 01:25:27,991
Losing weight
the easy way, Melvin.
1025
01:25:32,406 --> 01:25:36,102
Pull yourself together, Melvin.
1026
01:25:48,323 --> 01:25:50,788
Oh, no. Oh Toxie.
1027
01:25:50,866 --> 01:25:52,773
Oh no. No!
1028
01:25:58,332 --> 01:26:01,501
Oh, my God. What's happening to Toxie?
1029
01:26:08,420 --> 01:26:11,170
Melvin, Melvie.
Melvie!
1030
01:26:19,998 --> 01:26:22,567
Claire, Mommy, Claire.
1031
01:26:22,798 --> 01:26:26,215
Julie, Julie. I don't smell nuthin'.
1032
01:26:28,717 --> 01:26:29,717
Mommy!
1033
01:26:33,726 --> 01:26:36,547
Mommy! What happened to me?
What happened to me?
1034
01:26:42,353 --> 01:26:45,567
Oy vey!
You look just like your father.
1035
01:26:53,870 --> 01:26:55,096
Oh, my poor boy.
1036
01:26:55,100 --> 01:26:56,800
Melvin, Melvin,
here's your Sumo diaper.
1037
01:26:56,944 --> 01:26:58,592
Put it on.
Put it on this way.
1038
01:26:59,783 --> 01:27:00,867
Maybe this will help you.
1039
01:27:00,867 --> 01:27:02,873
Remember what
your sumo friends taught you?
1040
01:27:02,891 --> 01:27:03,891
Remember?
1041
01:27:17,518 --> 01:27:20,979
Oh, little Melvin. You don't even know
where you are.
1042
01:27:21,214 --> 01:27:23,932
Are you in Tromaville?
Are you in Japan?
1043
01:27:24,201 --> 01:27:25,979
Where are you?
1044
01:27:41,172 --> 01:27:46,348
Oh look, look. little Melvin.
Your girlfriend wants to help.
1045
01:27:46,352 --> 01:27:48,592
I denounce you, Satan.
1046
01:27:54,231 --> 01:27:57,447
Oh! Oh my God!
My eyes. I'm blind.
1047
01:27:59,965 --> 01:28:01,595
I'm blind again.
1048
01:28:04,467 --> 01:28:06,101
Help me. Melvin.
1049
01:28:35,808 --> 01:28:37,155
Melvin.
1050
01:28:37,975 --> 01:28:39,273
Melvin.
1051
01:28:42,170 --> 01:28:44,412
It's your mother.
Melvin.
1052
01:28:48,629 --> 01:28:51,672
Ooo, what are doing to her?
1053
01:28:51,976 --> 01:28:57,186
After all, a boy's best friend
is his mummy.
1054
01:28:58,241 --> 01:29:00,236
If only I could find that contract.
1055
01:29:00,492 --> 01:29:02,942
Ah, if I could find that contract
1056
01:29:03,629 --> 01:29:05,374
then maybe
I could help Melvin.
1057
01:29:05,894 --> 01:29:07,498
I don't know where he put it.
1058
01:29:07,626 --> 01:29:09,699
If I could just find that contract
1059
01:29:09,999 --> 01:29:12,232
then we could
clean this whole thing up.
1060
01:29:12,791 --> 01:29:15,655
Get out of my way, worm.
1061
01:29:18,365 --> 01:29:20,352
Look. Look at him.
1062
01:29:20,401 --> 01:29:23,494
Look what's become
of the Toxic Avenger.
1063
01:29:23,868 --> 01:29:26,954
He's back to
the sniveling mop boy
1064
01:29:27,098 --> 01:29:29,621
you all made fun of.
1065
01:29:29,717 --> 01:29:32,845
Where's that braille version of the
contract Toxie made for me?
1066
01:29:33,036 --> 01:29:35,199
If I could just find that contract,
1067
01:29:35,559 --> 01:29:37,473
then we could clean up this mess.
1068
01:29:40,478 --> 01:29:41,498
That's it.
1069
01:29:54,325 --> 01:29:58,441
Aw, look.
Isn't he ready for destruction?
1070
01:29:58,515 --> 01:30:04,260
Aren't you tired of this pink
tutu'd pansy?
1071
01:30:11,079 --> 01:30:13,386
We're tired of you, Mr. Chairman!
1072
01:30:15,366 --> 01:30:19,877
And ve're tired of vat you're company
is doing to our Tromaville!
1073
01:30:19,880 --> 01:30:22,462
We're tired of ground water pollution.
1074
01:30:23,038 --> 01:30:24,525
And your sludge.
1075
01:30:25,226 --> 01:30:27,067
And the PCBs!
1076
01:30:27,397 --> 01:30:29,799
We're tired of your
filthy lawyers and accountants
1077
01:30:29,802 --> 01:30:33,151
and we're fed up with your
perverted investment bankers.
1078
01:30:33,713 --> 01:30:36,848
The Toxic Avenger has always
played fair with us.
1079
01:30:37,093 --> 01:30:40,301
And he's the only toxic waste
we need around here.
1080
01:30:40,407 --> 01:30:43,473
If you want him,
you've got to go through us.
1081
01:30:46,322 --> 01:30:49,541
This town has
never had it so good.
1082
01:30:49,783 --> 01:30:54,316
I order you
to go back to your hovels
1083
01:30:54,455 --> 01:30:56,340
and jump in your beds.
1084
01:30:57,176 --> 01:31:00,582
I just might be willing
to forget all this
1085
01:31:01,275 --> 01:31:04,450
and let you
show up for work tomorrow.
1086
01:31:04,563 --> 01:31:06,502
Please let us through.
1087
01:31:06,552 --> 01:31:08,538
Claire has found
a way out of the contract.
1088
01:31:08,679 --> 01:31:12,238
Excuse me. Excuse me.
She's found an escape clause.
1089
01:31:12,440 --> 01:31:13,907
Please let me through.
1090
01:31:16,416 --> 01:31:18,148
Claire has found a way out.
1091
01:31:18,512 --> 01:31:20,912
Oh, oh my God.
There's an escape clause.
1092
01:31:21,570 --> 01:31:24,244
You, you tell them about it.
1093
01:31:25,368 --> 01:31:26,713
It's very important.
1094
01:31:26,912 --> 01:31:29,065
The force majeure states:
1095
01:31:29,401 --> 01:31:33,034
"Clause Eleven: Termination.
1096
01:31:33,859 --> 01:31:35,562
"The employee's obligations hereunder
1097
01:31:35,565 --> 01:31:38,618
"shall remain in full force and effect
for all enternity.
1098
01:31:39,067 --> 01:31:42,038
"However, said obligations
shall be terminated,
1099
01:31:42,329 --> 01:31:46,426
"and this agreement shall be rendered
immediately null and void,
1100
01:31:46,485 --> 01:31:48,914
upon a miraculous act of God."
1101
01:31:49,033 --> 01:31:52,356
And God is in the
hearts of the people.
1102
01:31:53,412 --> 01:31:56,299
It's an escape clause.
It's an escape clause!
1103
01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,060
What about this?
1104
01:31:58,064 --> 01:32:00,938
It's an escape clause, see?
What about that, huh?
1105
01:32:03,325 --> 01:32:05,782
So where is He?
1106
01:32:05,989 --> 01:32:08,364
On vacation in the
Grand Bahamas?
1107
01:32:09,174 --> 01:32:12,883
I don't see Him around protecting
His interests.
1108
01:32:13,493 --> 01:32:17,516
I'm the only one interested in this
dirty little town.
1109
01:32:17,622 --> 01:32:21,915
And you're yesterday's waste, pal.
1110
01:32:25,960 --> 01:32:27,312
Excuse me, excuse me.
1111
01:32:27,366 --> 01:32:28,905
Message for Mr. Junko.
1112
01:32:29,705 --> 01:32:31,198
I have a message
for Mr. Junko.
1113
01:32:31,523 --> 01:32:33,690
Urgent message for
Mr. Melvin Junko.
1114
01:32:33,767 --> 01:32:36,179
Can't you see
we're busy here?
1115
01:32:37,259 --> 01:32:38,986
I think this takes priority.
1116
01:32:39,412 --> 01:32:42,287
No one takes priority
over me.
1117
01:32:42,778 --> 01:32:44,747
Oh?
1118
01:32:46,451 --> 01:32:49,660
Ahum, ahum, ahum.
1119
01:32:51,228 --> 01:32:53,985
Um, maybe one.
1120
01:32:58,794 --> 01:33:00,921
Let's get the hell outta here.
1121
01:33:06,083 --> 01:33:09,814
Cheese it, it's the big guy.
Let's get out of here.
1122
01:33:13,579 --> 01:33:15,040
Claire. Claire.
1123
01:33:15,243 --> 01:33:18,625
Madonna mia. Gott in himmel.
Was ist das?
1124
01:33:18,898 --> 01:33:20,790
It's raining.
1125
01:33:21,612 --> 01:33:22,641
It's wonderful.
1126
01:33:22,947 --> 01:33:24,988
It feels tingly on my body.
1127
01:33:25,013 --> 01:33:26,629
It's nectar from God.
1128
01:33:27,647 --> 01:33:29,373
It's some healing liquid.
1129
01:33:30,260 --> 01:33:33,948
Oh, it's sweet,
it's sour, it's warm.
1130
01:33:34,612 --> 01:33:35,994
What's happening little Melvin?
1131
01:33:36,019 --> 01:33:38,883
What's happening? What's happening?
What's happening?
1132
01:33:40,354 --> 01:33:42,164
Melvin, what, what... oh!
1133
01:33:46,043 --> 01:33:47,251
Beautiful Melvin.
1134
01:33:47,922 --> 01:33:49,661
Oh, Melvin you're back.
1135
01:33:49,797 --> 01:33:51,538
You're back Melvin, oh!
1136
01:33:53,612 --> 01:33:55,597
There's my son.
1137
01:34:05,679 --> 01:34:08,648
I can see. I can see.
1138
01:34:10,978 --> 01:34:14,613
I am back. But now I feel like
kickin' some devil ass.
1139
01:34:15,278 --> 01:34:17,078
This has gone on long enough, Devil.
1140
01:34:17,153 --> 01:34:21,386
I think it's about time that somebody
put the fear of God in you.
1141
01:34:22,055 --> 01:34:26,278
Be reasonable. Think of what you're
giving up, Melvin.
1142
01:34:26,419 --> 01:34:28,703
That's Mr. Melvin to you!
1143
01:35:16,611 --> 01:35:18,446
Oy Gevalt !
1144
01:35:32,685 --> 01:35:35,792
Oh! This is more disgusting
than General Hospital.
1145
01:36:02,337 --> 01:36:03,604
(speaking Japanese)
1146
01:36:47,201 --> 01:36:48,489
Are you okay?
1147
01:36:48,812 --> 01:36:50,570
Up you go reverend.
1148
01:37:02,886 --> 01:37:03,918
Gee whiz!
1149
01:37:04,315 --> 01:37:06,226
I've only had my eyes
a short time
1150
01:37:06,334 --> 01:37:08,075
and already I've seen everything.
1151
01:37:16,459 --> 01:37:17,962
I do.
1152
01:37:18,145 --> 01:37:20,500
Then I now pronounce you man...
1153
01:37:21,582 --> 01:37:24,819
uh, monster and wife.
1154
01:37:25,284 --> 01:37:27,245
You may now kiss the bride.
1155
01:37:40,945 --> 01:37:43,914
Oh, my baby boy.
1156
01:37:45,488 --> 01:37:46,488
Oooo.
1157
01:38:04,130 --> 01:38:05,318
Thank you.
1158
01:38:05,827 --> 01:38:07,862
I'm so delighted.
Thank you.
1159
01:38:09,506 --> 01:38:12,463
So me and Mommy...
and Claire
1160
01:38:12,915 --> 01:38:15,642
walked off
into that toxic sunset.84802
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