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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,573 Tromaville, New Jersey, 1984. 2 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:33,182 Melvin Junko, a mop-wielding healthclub janitor, 3 00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:42,387 a scrawny, skinny, weakling, wimp of a nerd 4 00:00:44,923 --> 00:00:48,214 fell into a misplaced barrel of toxic chemical waste. 5 00:00:53,819 --> 00:00:58,210 Melvin was suddenly transformed into a hideously deformed creature 6 00:00:58,212 --> 00:01:00,927 of super-human size and strength. 7 00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:10,774 He became the Toxic Avenger, 8 00:01:10,980 --> 00:01:13,985 the first super-hero from New Jersey. 9 00:01:14,259 --> 00:01:17,903 The Toxic Avenger, or Toxie, as he is affectionately called, 10 00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:19,843 went on to crush crime, 11 00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,303 beat corruption 12 00:01:28,315 --> 00:01:32,010 and blast chemical waste in his hometown of Tromaville. 13 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,592 After cleaning-up Tromaville, 14 00:01:34,663 --> 00:01:37,283 in 1988, the Toxic Avenger rose 15 00:01:37,289 --> 00:01:39,005 from beneath the rubble of retirement 16 00:01:39,091 --> 00:01:43,204 to challenge the evil chairman of Apocalypse Incorporated. 17 00:01:43,335 --> 00:01:47,107 Toxie's awesome adventure to abolish the abominable Apocalypse 18 00:01:47,219 --> 00:01:49,972 took him on an outrageous odyssey to Japan, 19 00:01:54,423 --> 00:01:57,561 where Toxie continued to crush crime. 20 00:02:00,898 --> 00:02:05,189 In Japan, Toxie learned the spiritual disciplines of Sumo wrestling. 21 00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:08,227 And the power, beauty and grace of Sumo 22 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:11,992 made him better able to rip bad people's heads off. 23 00:02:12,205 --> 00:02:16,116 Now, evil has returned to Tromaville. 24 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,655 And you are about to witness what may be... 25 00:02:19,657 --> 00:02:23,156 THE LAST TEMPTATION OF TOXIE 26 00:03:00,526 --> 00:03:04,130 I can't make up my mind. I can't make up my mind. 27 00:03:05,039 --> 00:03:07,703 - Oy, Lionstein. - What? 28 00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:09,522 How many times I have to tell you? 29 00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:13,374 You don't put Redneck Zombies in with the Walt Disneys. 30 00:03:13,923 --> 00:03:17,093 Did you see the Redneck Zombies ? That was gruesome. 31 00:03:17,127 --> 00:03:21,546 Gruesome! You want gruesome, you should see my mother-in-law. That's gruesome. 32 00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:46,962 Drop those video cassettes or I'll blow your brains out! 33 00:03:50,889 --> 00:03:53,769 My boy, my boy, my boy. 34 00:03:55,580 --> 00:03:58,581 Listen up. Listen up good, cause we got some big news for youse. 35 00:03:58,583 --> 00:04:01,525 - You got it. - You guys suck. 36 00:04:02,559 --> 00:04:05,332 Pick up the phone. Please pick up the phone. 37 00:04:05,627 --> 00:04:07,534 Please, please don't hurt me, I'll do anything 38 00:04:07,536 --> 00:04:09,214 I'll do anything you want. Just don't hurt me. 39 00:04:09,298 --> 00:04:10,951 What do you guys want? - Shut the hell up! 40 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:13,775 There's too much variety in this store. 41 00:04:14,016 --> 00:04:16,200 Now that this is a Company town, 42 00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:19,739 you're all gonna rent Company tapes. Right? 43 00:04:19,942 --> 00:04:20,942 No! 44 00:04:21,017 --> 00:04:24,193 That's right. From now on, only the top twenty video tapes 45 00:04:24,195 --> 00:04:26,057 will be available in this store. 46 00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:30,449 The Top Five: The Apocalypse Self-Improvement tapes from Apocalypse Inc. 47 00:04:30,825 --> 00:04:34,826 But we like variety. We like having a lot of choices. 48 00:04:34,828 --> 00:04:39,184 We don't want just top twenty. We like those movies from Troma. 49 00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:42,745 Screw Troma movies. 50 00:04:42,974 --> 00:04:46,155 Wait a minute. Do you want variety? 51 00:04:46,976 --> 00:04:48,552 Do you want choice? 52 00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:52,228 Well there's plenty of variety here. 53 00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:56,627 MGM, Columbia and Paramount. 54 00:04:58,070 --> 00:05:00,124 And we're the Warner Brothers. 55 00:05:01,163 --> 00:05:03,284 Tear it up! 56 00:05:13,192 --> 00:05:14,738 No! 57 00:06:07,526 --> 00:06:09,897 Please pick up the phone! 58 00:06:17,526 --> 00:06:22,798 It's amazing how they make this cardboard piece of shit 59 00:06:23,732 --> 00:06:25,096 look real. 60 00:06:28,027 --> 00:06:29,483 This piece of shit! 61 00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:44,258 No! No. 62 00:06:49,404 --> 00:06:51,656 Look what they're doing. 63 00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:21,873 You know dude, you don't have much intestinal fortitude. 64 00:07:28,558 --> 00:07:31,219 Oy, oy, oy. 65 00:07:37,813 --> 00:07:41,311 Tore your guts out. Skip to my Lou, skip to my Lou my darling. 66 00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:02,515 Excuse me folks. How about checking out our adult section? 67 00:08:34,491 --> 00:08:36,323 Good looking guy. 68 00:09:06,574 --> 00:09:08,182 Very good. 69 00:09:16,581 --> 00:09:18,397 Very good, very good. 70 00:09:50,648 --> 00:09:53,255 Hey faggot! 71 00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,402 You talking to me? 72 00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:01,483 That's the way. Hit him. Kick him. 73 00:10:21,297 --> 00:10:23,838 Now don't touch that dial. 74 00:10:58,923 --> 00:11:02,107 You must die! 75 00:11:32,929 --> 00:11:34,689 Alright. 76 00:11:35,687 --> 00:11:39,613 People of Tromaville, The Toxic Avenger is back... 77 00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,584 and better than ever. 78 00:11:41,793 --> 00:11:43,794 The Toxic Avenger's back. 79 00:11:43,863 --> 00:11:45,699 He's a real man. 80 00:11:52,592 --> 00:11:55,069 Thank you. Thank you Toxie, you saved us. 81 00:11:55,502 --> 00:11:59,529 Yeah. But it was a rough day, even for a hideously deformed creature 82 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,038 of super-human size and strength. 83 00:12:02,157 --> 00:12:03,773 What a mensch. 84 00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:07,429 Yes, I was a Toxic mensch. I was back-- 85 00:12:08,827 --> 00:12:12,427 fighting crime, corruption and toxic waste. 86 00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:14,376 But it wasn't always that way. 87 00:12:14,487 --> 00:12:17,488 Who would believe that just a few short months ago 88 00:12:17,816 --> 00:12:20,707 I had actually joined the forces of evil. 89 00:12:20,995 --> 00:12:25,959 I had actually broken my oath to protect the little people of Tromaville. 90 00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:30,625 I, the Toxic Avenger, had become a bad dude. 91 00:12:30,761 --> 00:12:32,612 A toxic trouble-maker. 92 00:12:32,817 --> 00:12:34,648 It's a long and grueling story. 93 00:12:34,768 --> 00:12:35,945 So you better sit back. 94 00:12:36,393 --> 00:12:38,670 This is how it all began. 95 00:12:39,095 --> 00:12:42,024 On the surface, everything seemed terrific. 96 00:12:42,242 --> 00:12:47,584 Tromaville was safe, Tromaville was happy, Tromaville was prosperous. 97 00:12:47,690 --> 00:12:51,741 This period became known as "The Golden Age of Tromaville." 98 00:12:53,102 --> 00:12:57,709 My mom was really proud of the fact that everybody in Tromaville liked me. 99 00:13:00,498 --> 00:13:01,569 It's wonderful! 100 00:13:01,738 --> 00:13:03,639 My mom was even prouder of the fact 101 00:13:03,641 --> 00:13:06,041 that Claire, my non-seeing girlfriend 102 00:13:06,137 --> 00:13:08,717 who, you remember in Toxic Avenger Part Two, 103 00:13:08,978 --> 00:13:11,044 was now going to be my fiancée 104 00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:14,909 and live with me forever in Toxic Avenger Part Three. 105 00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:16,238 You got any change? 106 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,426 Mommy's little Melvin had finally grown up. 107 00:13:20,498 --> 00:13:21,857 There you are. 108 00:13:22,307 --> 00:13:23,868 Good day, Officer Lloyd. 109 00:13:23,919 --> 00:13:28,063 Yes, on the surface, everything seemed wonderful. 110 00:13:28,566 --> 00:13:35,357 But deep inside of me were swirling feelings of horrible, horrible insecurity. 111 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,732 I was now twenty-five years old. 112 00:13:39,612 --> 00:13:40,941 But who was I? 113 00:13:41,666 --> 00:13:42,996 What was I? 114 00:13:43,308 --> 00:13:46,281 Yes, I had rid Tromaville of all evil, 115 00:13:47,107 --> 00:13:49,245 but now I had nothing to do. 116 00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:53,061 There weren't even any parking tickets to give out. 117 00:13:53,173 --> 00:13:54,173 I'm in. 118 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,180 I, the Toxic Avenger, 119 00:13:57,797 --> 00:14:00,469 was reduced to preventing old ladies 120 00:14:00,623 --> 00:14:02,373 from cheating at cards. 121 00:14:02,683 --> 00:14:04,530 Naughty, naughty. 122 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:09,281 Or, occasionally, I found myself trying to get naughty children 123 00:14:09,872 --> 00:14:13,023 Excuse me ma'am-- to eat their lima beans. 124 00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:23,152 I couldn't even do that right. 125 00:14:23,482 --> 00:14:24,684 Oh brother. 126 00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:27,678 How low could a super-hero go? 127 00:14:27,726 --> 00:14:30,763 Claire and I were living in the same old dump. 128 00:14:30,814 --> 00:14:33,480 I wasn't bringing in any money as a super-hero 129 00:14:33,626 --> 00:14:35,509 and I became a terrible burden 130 00:14:35,511 --> 00:14:37,825 living off Claire's welfare check. 131 00:14:37,994 --> 00:14:41,240 Claire had a brilliant career going as a dental hygienist 132 00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:44,002 and she was making very good money. 133 00:14:44,727 --> 00:14:47,883 Until one day she had a tragic accident 134 00:14:47,890 --> 00:14:51,210 involving mouthwash... rendering her blind. 135 00:14:51,213 --> 00:14:54,995 Hi honey, I'm home. We got the welfare check. 136 00:14:56,988 --> 00:14:58,876 I think I'm losing my edge, Claire. 137 00:15:00,328 --> 00:15:02,413 Oh, Toxie, don't say that. 138 00:15:03,825 --> 00:15:06,683 If only that Lavoris hadn't splashed in my eyes, 139 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,536 I could see to help you. 140 00:15:09,927 --> 00:15:12,997 Aw, if I could only see. 141 00:15:15,062 --> 00:15:17,407 Ahha! Wait, wait a minute. 142 00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:20,271 I don't believe this. Wait a, wait a minute! 143 00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:22,121 Wait a minute! 144 00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:23,921 You're gonna see. 145 00:15:24,077 --> 00:15:27,169 Dr. Ron Goldberg says that your sight can be restored. 146 00:15:28,339 --> 00:15:29,744 "Dear blind person: 147 00:15:30,178 --> 00:15:32,478 "conditions caused by retinitis pigmentosa 148 00:15:32,572 --> 00:15:35,654 "found in association with the wide angle glaucoma 149 00:15:35,814 --> 00:15:37,769 "may now be successfully treated 150 00:15:37,801 --> 00:15:40,432 due to the modification of the argon laser." 151 00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:42,802 I can't believe it. I can't believe it! 152 00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:46,442 This procedure has been perfected on cave bats. 153 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,478 It's been tested on them in labs and fifty percent of them lived. 154 00:15:49,546 --> 00:15:52,095 Ah! I can't believe it. I can't believe it. 155 00:15:52,881 --> 00:15:54,024 Uh oh. 156 00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:55,888 Um... 157 00:15:56,709 --> 00:15:58,211 There's a catch. 158 00:15:58,654 --> 00:16:01,548 It doesn't matter Melvin, it's worth anything! 159 00:16:02,274 --> 00:16:05,906 Three hundred and fifty seven thousand dollars? 160 00:16:06,314 --> 00:16:07,538 I... 161 00:16:09,061 --> 00:16:11,634 I actually thought I would be able to see. 162 00:16:12,358 --> 00:16:13,522 Oh well. 163 00:16:14,618 --> 00:16:16,481 It was a nice dream, anyway. 164 00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:24,136 I thought at last I was gonna be able to see my dear sweet Melvin. 165 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,355 Gee...I'm not so sure you'd like what you'd see. 166 00:16:29,646 --> 00:16:32,974 Oh Melvin, I just know I would. 167 00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:36,509 You're the nicest boy I ever met. 168 00:16:36,766 --> 00:16:38,531 I just know you're handsome. 169 00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:43,288 What's the matter, baby? 170 00:16:43,362 --> 00:16:44,546 Nothing. 171 00:16:46,556 --> 00:16:48,092 I just don't want to lose you. 172 00:16:49,302 --> 00:16:52,074 C'mon, we don't know this operation is dangerous. 173 00:16:52,204 --> 00:16:55,872 And besides, at that price, it's only a dream 174 00:16:56,121 --> 00:16:59,576 unless I win the Tromaville Times' Rich and Famous Sweepstakes. 175 00:17:00,276 --> 00:17:01,639 I'm happy just the way I am. 176 00:17:02,405 --> 00:17:06,178 I look at it this way, I'll never have to see uglinesss 177 00:17:07,332 --> 00:17:11,886 or war or poverty or pollution 178 00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,648 or the Cheverolet Nova. 179 00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:17,626 No way. 180 00:17:17,691 --> 00:17:19,882 This time we're gonna get you that operation, 181 00:17:19,885 --> 00:17:21,446 'cause I'm gonna get that job. 182 00:17:23,177 --> 00:17:25,908 You're going to get a job and I'm going to be able to see. 183 00:17:26,365 --> 00:17:30,512 Because of my love for Claire, I took the only job available. 184 00:17:30,589 --> 00:17:34,886 The most horrifying and humiliating job known to mankind. 185 00:17:35,011 --> 00:17:37,077 The Toxic Avenger... 186 00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:41,984 I became a representative of the Internal Revenue Service. 187 00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:43,542 Hello, taxman's here. 188 00:17:45,611 --> 00:17:46,611 Hey. 189 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,280 Hey, hey! 190 00:17:54,432 --> 00:17:58,637 Stop it. Stop. Stop throwing things. Cut it out. Watch out. 191 00:17:59,102 --> 00:18:00,645 Oh. Oh. Ow! 192 00:18:01,293 --> 00:18:05,175 Go back home. Go back to the jungle where you belong. 193 00:18:06,255 --> 00:18:07,255 We got him. 194 00:18:07,313 --> 00:18:11,198 I tried moonlighting in the high tech world of video cassette sales, 195 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,669 but it was a mess. 196 00:18:12,970 --> 00:18:15,036 Sir, here. I got the tapes you wanted. 197 00:18:15,039 --> 00:18:17,490 Oh! Oy vey. God in himmel! 198 00:18:17,525 --> 00:18:20,103 You know every time you touch the tapes, they melt. 199 00:18:20,143 --> 00:18:24,383 I told you a thousand times, don't touch the tapes. Look what you've done. 200 00:18:26,592 --> 00:18:28,964 Schmuck, you are fired. 201 00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:32,712 My job changing automobile mufflers was a real bust. 202 00:18:33,121 --> 00:18:35,595 Let me reconnect these two little wires. 203 00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:37,384 Hey, what's that smell? 204 00:18:43,258 --> 00:18:46,359 Since Claire and I were failing in the material world, 205 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,499 we decided to spend more time devoting ourselves 206 00:18:49,718 --> 00:18:51,761 to the spiritual world. 207 00:19:03,624 --> 00:19:08,920 ♪ Amazing Grace ♪ 208 00:19:08,925 --> 00:19:14,100 ♪ How sweet the sound ♪ 209 00:19:14,505 --> 00:19:17,174 ♪ That saved ♪ 210 00:19:17,429 --> 00:19:19,732 ♪ a wretch ♪ 211 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:26,191 ♪ like me ♪ 212 00:19:26,788 --> 00:19:31,926 ♪ I once was lost ♪ 213 00:19:31,945 --> 00:19:36,197 ♪ But now am found ♪ 214 00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:39,599 Do not be tempted by evil. 215 00:19:40,631 --> 00:19:45,067 The reading for today is from Mathew four, verse eight and nine, and I quote: 216 00:19:46,155 --> 00:19:51,378 "The Devil taketh Jesus up unto an exceedingly high mountain 217 00:19:51,919 --> 00:19:55,594 "and showeth him all the kingdoms of the world. 218 00:19:56,072 --> 00:19:57,989 "And the Devil sayeth unto him: 219 00:19:58,587 --> 00:20:01,951 "'All these things I will give thee 220 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:06,244 if thou wilt kneel down and worship me." 221 00:20:08,470 --> 00:20:11,286 Thus endeth the lesson. 222 00:20:33,058 --> 00:20:35,979 I was so depressed and insecure 223 00:20:36,396 --> 00:20:38,667 that I began having nightmares. 224 00:20:57,576 --> 00:21:00,484 Phoo! Man! Where's my deodorant? 225 00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:04,559 Hi guy. Hey, you do stink. 226 00:21:04,561 --> 00:21:07,036 But that deodorant's not going to help you. 227 00:21:07,038 --> 00:21:08,088 Remember me? 228 00:21:08,090 --> 00:21:10,056 It's Melvin, the way you used to be 229 00:21:10,058 --> 00:21:12,258 before you fell into that toxic waste 230 00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:16,940 and became a hideously deformed creature of super-human size and strength. 231 00:21:17,115 --> 00:21:20,950 Look at ya, ya bum. Ya can't even get a job. 232 00:21:21,193 --> 00:21:25,402 I had a job, even though I was a mop boy at a health spa. Look at ya! 233 00:21:25,405 --> 00:21:27,727 Tromaville doesn't need you anymore. 234 00:21:27,933 --> 00:21:32,968 I betcha can't even get it up, can ya? I betchya can't even get a woody. 235 00:21:33,237 --> 00:21:36,647 I could always get it up, even though I was always alone. 236 00:21:36,690 --> 00:21:39,151 Give me a shot at Claire. I wanna boff her. 237 00:21:39,226 --> 00:21:41,585 C'mon man, c'mon. Let me boff her 238 00:21:41,587 --> 00:21:43,575 and show you what a real man can do. 239 00:21:45,389 --> 00:21:48,335 Homo, wimp, geek. I oughta kill you. 240 00:21:56,093 --> 00:22:01,797 All these things I will give thee if thou will fall down and work for me. 241 00:22:08,124 --> 00:22:13,082 Look at you. You can't get a job. You're a bum. You can't get a job. 242 00:22:13,086 --> 00:22:16,630 You can't get a job. You can't get a job. You can't get a job. 243 00:22:16,724 --> 00:22:21,498 Let me boff Claire. Let me boff Claire. Let me boff Claire. C'mon. 244 00:22:34,931 --> 00:22:38,112 Melvin, what is it? What is it Melvin? 245 00:22:38,865 --> 00:22:42,242 Oh, it was horrible. It was horrible. I couldn't stop falling. 246 00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:45,129 I just kept falling and falling. I couldn't stop. 247 00:22:46,170 --> 00:22:48,507 Oh, poor Melvin. You're very frustrated. 248 00:22:48,555 --> 00:22:50,941 What can I do to relieve you, baby? 249 00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:55,573 - Claire? - Yes, Melvin? 250 00:22:56,393 --> 00:22:58,175 Where's my blanky? 251 00:23:00,407 --> 00:23:04,196 Right here, Melvin. 252 00:23:07,834 --> 00:23:10,520 I know it always makes you feel better, Toxie. 253 00:23:37,881 --> 00:23:42,049 While my depression and insecurity led me to experience 254 00:23:42,053 --> 00:23:44,884 unbelievably realistic nightmares, 255 00:23:45,683 --> 00:23:47,442 they were only nightmares. 256 00:23:48,266 --> 00:23:49,825 But across the river, 257 00:23:50,349 --> 00:23:51,607 in the big city, 258 00:23:52,037 --> 00:23:56,403 there was a giant corporation called Apocalypse Incorporated, 259 00:23:57,329 --> 00:24:00,275 and it was creating nightmarish reality. 260 00:24:00,590 --> 00:24:01,843 My good news 261 00:24:01,845 --> 00:24:05,451 is that the newly formed Five Families Federation 262 00:24:05,649 --> 00:24:08,881 has successfully used their drug networks 263 00:24:09,344 --> 00:24:14,289 to sell radioactive grenades to all the third world countries. 264 00:24:20,827 --> 00:24:24,341 Our pilot program in the North Seas is going well. 265 00:24:24,343 --> 00:24:28,369 We're dumping thirty tons of PCB's per week. 266 00:24:29,516 --> 00:24:32,338 And even better, we're dumping seventy-five tons 267 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,916 of radioactive isotopes per day 268 00:24:35,649 --> 00:24:36,649 in the Atlantic. 269 00:24:38,238 --> 00:24:39,737 An excellent record. 270 00:24:41,193 --> 00:24:46,639 I am pleased to report that our profits from the A.L.S., 271 00:24:46,641 --> 00:24:49,527 the Above Land Subsidiary, 272 00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:51,684 is real good. 273 00:24:51,739 --> 00:24:56,189 And we are now pumping massive doses of radiation 274 00:24:56,303 --> 00:24:58,454 high in the sky. 275 00:25:05,526 --> 00:25:09,916 Of course there are still some Sierra Club sissies in Congress 276 00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:12,909 who are afraid of contamination up there in space. 277 00:25:13,002 --> 00:25:15,046 But we all know that's baloney, right? 278 00:25:15,049 --> 00:25:16,216 - Yeah! - Right! 279 00:25:16,283 --> 00:25:21,473 I think that at this point, if there's anyone that we still can't buy off, well... 280 00:25:21,743 --> 00:25:24,464 we'll just have to do away with them. 281 00:25:33,627 --> 00:25:36,343 Good. Very good. Yes. Excellent. 282 00:25:36,345 --> 00:25:38,967 Thank you. Very impressive... 283 00:25:40,132 --> 00:25:42,829 for a bunch of rank amateurs! 284 00:25:47,226 --> 00:25:49,583 Who do you think you're talking to here? 285 00:25:50,149 --> 00:25:52,655 I'm going for something bigger than that. 286 00:25:53,103 --> 00:25:58,938 Now, ever since we lost Tromaville to the Toxic Avenger, 287 00:26:00,069 --> 00:26:02,490 Apocalypse Incorporated has been 288 00:26:03,542 --> 00:26:06,834 treading water, going nowhere. 289 00:26:07,255 --> 00:26:11,815 Am I getting through to you? Is-is there something that's unclear? 290 00:26:11,860 --> 00:26:13,485 - No. -No. -No - No! 291 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:16,207 Good. Then it's settled then. 292 00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:20,829 You know what I want ladies and gentlemen. 293 00:26:21,460 --> 00:26:26,052 Toxic Avenger delendus est. 294 00:26:37,784 --> 00:26:44,999 ♪ From this valley they say you are leaving. ♪ 295 00:26:46,874 --> 00:26:52,107 ♪ I will miss your bright eyes ♪ 296 00:26:52,109 --> 00:26:54,947 ♪ and sweet smile.... ♪ 297 00:26:54,950 --> 00:26:59,891 Claire gave me an appreciation of her most important hobby, music. 298 00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:14,943 And I gave her an appreciation of my favorite pastime... 299 00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:16,686 video games. 300 00:27:16,765 --> 00:27:19,680 And she learned to play very skillfully 301 00:27:20,049 --> 00:27:21,141 by ear. 302 00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:23,972 Hey, Toxie baby. How's it hanging? 303 00:27:24,771 --> 00:27:27,393 See this new video game, Five Levels of Doom ? 304 00:27:28,591 --> 00:27:30,300 It kicks! 305 00:27:39,859 --> 00:27:43,988 Meanwhile, at the headquarters of Apocalypse Incorporated, 306 00:27:45,980 --> 00:27:47,826 the plot was thickening 307 00:27:50,416 --> 00:27:53,399 and I was to be the cornstarch. 308 00:27:55,966 --> 00:27:58,030 Silence! 309 00:27:59,985 --> 00:28:02,762 With all the evil, rotten, corrupt, 310 00:28:02,770 --> 00:28:05,578 despicably low people in the world, 311 00:28:05,603 --> 00:28:09,551 why is it so difficult for me to get some help? Mmm? 312 00:28:09,555 --> 00:28:13,035 Well..it's because...I mean... I tried...to find...and I... 313 00:28:13,087 --> 00:28:15,432 Stop babbling, Malfaire! 314 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,081 You better get your own Toxic Avenger on the payroll boss. 315 00:28:20,660 --> 00:28:23,344 Mmmm... we can work with that. 316 00:28:23,469 --> 00:28:24,645 We can work with that. 317 00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,222 Ah, with some clever maneuvering. 318 00:28:27,534 --> 00:28:30,928 We can have this monster working on our very own payroll. 319 00:28:31,388 --> 00:28:33,500 Have the legal department draw up a contract. 320 00:28:33,658 --> 00:28:35,896 But how are you going to convince him to work with us? 321 00:28:35,996 --> 00:28:39,359 Aah! No beast so fierce 322 00:28:39,665 --> 00:28:42,081 but knows a touch of pity. 323 00:28:42,404 --> 00:28:43,404 Mmm? 324 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,952 He has a girlfriend, does he not? - Ah hah. 325 00:28:48,030 --> 00:28:52,002 And that girlfriend needs an eye operation, doesn't she? 326 00:28:52,776 --> 00:28:53,883 Yeah 327 00:28:56,899 --> 00:28:58,801 Two eyes coming up. 328 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,722 As my emotional tailspin spiralled downward, 329 00:29:21,819 --> 00:29:26,619 the radioactive chemicals inside my body were going nuts. 330 00:29:26,685 --> 00:29:29,215 Finally, I decided to end it all. 331 00:29:29,906 --> 00:29:34,525 Perhaps Claire could pick up a few dollars by donating my body to science. 332 00:29:53,526 --> 00:29:57,096 But even at suicide, I was a toxic flop. 333 00:29:57,237 --> 00:30:01,650 Oh, Melvin. How could you even think of taking your own life? 334 00:30:02,795 --> 00:30:06,555 I know. It's these chemicals. 335 00:30:07,626 --> 00:30:09,834 They've taken over my life. 336 00:30:11,521 --> 00:30:13,919 What am I saying? I don't have a life, 337 00:30:14,183 --> 00:30:15,726 I have a half-life. 338 00:30:16,805 --> 00:30:18,485 What's to become of me? 339 00:30:18,952 --> 00:30:20,207 Of us? 340 00:30:20,526 --> 00:30:22,345 Don't talk like that Melvin. 341 00:30:22,863 --> 00:30:24,366 It scares me. 342 00:30:25,391 --> 00:30:26,683 Anyway, 343 00:30:28,569 --> 00:30:30,421 this came for you while you were gone. 344 00:30:33,702 --> 00:30:35,504 It smells important. 345 00:30:37,397 --> 00:30:39,205 It's probably more bad news. 346 00:30:39,436 --> 00:30:41,738 They probably want to repossess this dump. 347 00:30:43,258 --> 00:30:44,489 Here, you read it. 348 00:30:45,754 --> 00:30:47,572 Okay. 349 00:30:49,861 --> 00:30:52,495 It says, uh, 350 00:30:54,660 --> 00:30:56,977 you, you just won the Nobel Peace Prize 351 00:30:57,391 --> 00:31:00,392 and ah. the Tromaville Times Rich and Famous Sweepstakes 352 00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:04,585 and they're going to give you your own Toxic Avenger TV show. 353 00:31:04,885 --> 00:31:05,897 What? 354 00:31:07,671 --> 00:31:10,426 Give me that you crazy, silly goose. 355 00:31:14,653 --> 00:31:16,476 Dear out-of-work Super-Hero. 356 00:31:17,594 --> 00:31:18,968 Great opportunity? 357 00:31:20,029 --> 00:31:21,471 High salary? 358 00:31:22,265 --> 00:31:23,735 Benefits out of this world? 359 00:31:23,735 --> 00:31:25,143 What is it, Melvin? 360 00:31:25,182 --> 00:31:26,895 It's a job opportunity. 361 00:31:27,292 --> 00:31:28,292 They want me to-- 362 00:31:28,295 --> 00:31:31,881 to represent their company and be their spokesman or something. 363 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:33,560 I can't believe it. 364 00:31:34,075 --> 00:31:36,478 Claire, this is what I've been praying for. 365 00:31:37,669 --> 00:31:40,246 I'm so exited. Yeah! 366 00:31:42,001 --> 00:31:43,971 Look, I'd better jump over there right now. 367 00:31:45,714 --> 00:31:49,701 But Melvin, you should put on a fresh tutuuuuu.... 368 00:31:50,526 --> 00:31:51,785 Mr. Chairman, 369 00:31:52,764 --> 00:31:54,124 Mr. Chairman. 370 00:31:56,214 --> 00:31:57,881 The Toxic Avenger is here 371 00:31:57,890 --> 00:31:59,725 and his smelly mop is dripping 372 00:31:59,749 --> 00:32:01,509 all over our reception area. 373 00:32:01,593 --> 00:32:04,893 Melvin Junko! 374 00:32:05,052 --> 00:32:06,495 Yes sir, That's me, sir. 375 00:32:07,403 --> 00:32:10,205 Right on time. And you brought your resumé. 376 00:32:10,307 --> 00:32:12,858 Uh, yes sir, right here. Whoah! 377 00:32:14,119 --> 00:32:16,095 Health club mop boy, mm, good. 378 00:32:16,502 --> 00:32:19,362 First super-hero from New Jersey, even better. 379 00:32:19,664 --> 00:32:23,777 Special skill, leaping relatively tall buildings with a running start 380 00:32:23,817 --> 00:32:25,864 and playing video games. 381 00:32:26,802 --> 00:32:28,928 Fantastic, very impressive. 382 00:32:29,867 --> 00:32:32,654 Mr. Junko, we're looking for a special person 383 00:32:32,656 --> 00:32:35,920 to be the spokesman for the Apocalypse Corporation. 384 00:32:36,032 --> 00:32:40,866 Someone with charm, charisma and a nice appearance 385 00:32:41,065 --> 00:32:43,643 to act as ah, the spokesman 386 00:32:43,709 --> 00:32:47,494 and to spread the good news of our policies to the people. 387 00:32:47,912 --> 00:32:49,443 Just what are your policies? 388 00:32:49,549 --> 00:32:51,483 Our policy, Mr. Junko: 389 00:32:52,242 --> 00:32:54,734 giving, that's our policy. 390 00:32:54,856 --> 00:32:56,824 Giving to the people what they want. 391 00:32:56,827 --> 00:32:59,063 Giving to the people what they need. 392 00:32:59,147 --> 00:33:01,829 fulfilling desires, Mr. Junko. 393 00:33:01,831 --> 00:33:03,514 That's what I've always done best. 394 00:33:05,232 --> 00:33:06,484 But you ask yourself, 395 00:33:07,550 --> 00:33:08,550 How? 396 00:33:08,905 --> 00:33:11,179 It's just words, but how do you do it? 397 00:33:11,798 --> 00:33:13,222 By building, 398 00:33:13,392 --> 00:33:16,639 by growing, by taking small towns like Tromaville 399 00:33:16,732 --> 00:33:20,869 and revitalizing them into thriving industrial metropolises. 400 00:33:21,026 --> 00:33:23,900 But I always thought Tromaville was nice the way it was. 401 00:33:24,144 --> 00:33:27,989 But any place can be nicer. Everything can be better. 402 00:33:28,148 --> 00:33:31,886 I mean, don't we all strive for more? Don't you deserve more? 403 00:33:32,224 --> 00:33:34,174 I am a man of wealth and taste. 404 00:33:34,663 --> 00:33:38,238 I want for you-- wealth and... 405 00:33:38,439 --> 00:33:40,243 your taste is something we can work on. 406 00:33:40,481 --> 00:33:45,659 Melvin Junko, come on up! 407 00:33:51,163 --> 00:33:52,795 Look out there, my boy. 408 00:33:55,172 --> 00:33:57,778 Let me show you your future. 409 00:33:57,780 --> 00:33:59,181 Ta da! 410 00:33:59,446 --> 00:34:00,846 Toxic shock! 411 00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:03,651 No, no, no, no. No toxic shock. 412 00:34:03,655 --> 00:34:06,259 Just your imagination set free. 413 00:34:06,550 --> 00:34:09,812 Look out there, Melvin. More than you've ever dreamed of. 414 00:34:10,069 --> 00:34:12,209 A proud shining world 415 00:34:12,211 --> 00:34:14,044 with a Porsche in every driveway. 416 00:34:14,225 --> 00:34:17,160 Chicken McNuggets in every pot. And you, 417 00:34:18,221 --> 00:34:21,460 you Melvin, smack dab in the middle of it 418 00:34:21,464 --> 00:34:25,436 with more than you ever wished for. Loved by millions the world over. 419 00:34:25,593 --> 00:34:29,174 You will be more popular than the Beatles and Elvis combined. 420 00:34:30,564 --> 00:34:33,320 That sounds like an awful lot on minumum wage. 421 00:34:33,463 --> 00:34:37,450 Who said minimum wage? Did I say minimum wage? I didn't say minimum wage. 422 00:34:38,013 --> 00:34:39,591 Melvy, baby, 423 00:34:39,593 --> 00:34:41,346 what self-respecting, hideously deformed 424 00:34:41,348 --> 00:34:43,105 creature of super-human size and strength 425 00:34:43,107 --> 00:34:44,849 works for peanuts? Hmm? 426 00:34:44,882 --> 00:34:46,776 Uh, none I guess. 427 00:34:47,393 --> 00:34:50,089 Melvy, you're a star, bubbale. 428 00:34:50,237 --> 00:34:52,396 All these things I will give thee 429 00:34:52,486 --> 00:34:55,281 if thou will fall down and work for me. Hmm? 430 00:34:55,283 --> 00:34:56,293 Work for me. 431 00:34:56,295 --> 00:34:58,144 Where have I heard that before? 432 00:35:00,877 --> 00:35:03,410 Work for me. Work for me. 433 00:35:03,479 --> 00:35:06,131 Work for me. Work for me. 434 00:35:06,215 --> 00:35:07,519 Work for me. 435 00:35:08,657 --> 00:35:10,210 Where have I heard that before? 436 00:35:10,995 --> 00:35:12,738 Must be some sort of flashback from that 437 00:35:12,740 --> 00:35:14,843 Iron Maiden concert I was at when I was fifteen. 438 00:35:16,809 --> 00:35:19,112 Now this is no flashback. 439 00:35:20,578 --> 00:35:24,297 Three hundred and fifty-seven thousand dollars. 440 00:35:24,305 --> 00:35:25,578 And it's all yours. 441 00:35:26,197 --> 00:35:28,815 Count it, boy. Smell it. 442 00:35:30,154 --> 00:35:32,549 I bet a smart kid like you could put it to good use. 443 00:35:33,460 --> 00:35:35,781 Buy something nice for your girlfriend. 444 00:35:36,341 --> 00:35:39,744 Something she's had her...eye on? 445 00:35:41,526 --> 00:35:44,996 Her eyes, I could pay for her operation! 446 00:35:46,220 --> 00:35:47,804 You got a deal Mr. Chairman. 447 00:35:48,794 --> 00:35:51,909 Just sign on the dotted line, right here. 448 00:35:52,659 --> 00:35:54,774 Woops. Sorry the pen slipped. 449 00:35:55,835 --> 00:35:57,427 Welcome aboard and ah... 450 00:35:57,864 --> 00:35:59,672 we'll see you ...on ah, Monday. 451 00:36:00,504 --> 00:36:02,205 Oh, and ah, Melvin 452 00:36:02,710 --> 00:36:03,894 Yes, Mr. Chairman? 453 00:36:04,537 --> 00:36:06,415 Get rid of that mop. 454 00:36:08,778 --> 00:36:10,718 It looks like hell. 455 00:36:41,526 --> 00:36:44,722 Here comes Mommy, Melvin. 456 00:36:47,842 --> 00:36:50,349 Melvin it's your mommy. 457 00:36:50,559 --> 00:36:53,787 I brought all your favorite snacks. Melvin! 458 00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:56,154 Wait a second, Mom. I'm on the bowl. 459 00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,306 I'll be right there. 460 00:36:57,785 --> 00:36:59,215 Just let me wipe. 461 00:37:00,883 --> 00:37:03,653 Darling, what's that smell? 462 00:37:17,370 --> 00:37:19,441 Whoo! it stinks in here. 463 00:37:21,864 --> 00:37:24,770 Melvin, have you been eating properly? 464 00:37:24,819 --> 00:37:26,371 You look mighty thin to me. 465 00:37:26,455 --> 00:37:28,028 Mom, Mom, never mind that, mom. 466 00:37:28,117 --> 00:37:31,175 Look, look look at this. I got my own business card. 467 00:37:31,178 --> 00:37:32,894 Your own card. 468 00:37:33,241 --> 00:37:37,477 Why, Mr. Melvin Junko, assistant to the Chairman! 469 00:37:37,588 --> 00:37:38,697 Yeah Mom, isn't it great! 470 00:37:38,740 --> 00:37:40,840 And Mom, I get to make special appearences. 471 00:37:41,078 --> 00:37:42,362 And I get to talk to people. 472 00:37:42,526 --> 00:37:45,571 And I get to use all my charm just like you taught me, Mom. 473 00:37:45,573 --> 00:37:46,498 Oooh, it's wonderful! 474 00:37:46,526 --> 00:37:48,545 Oh Mom, I almost forgot the best part. 475 00:37:48,780 --> 00:37:50,473 The pièce de résistance, 476 00:37:51,219 --> 00:37:52,347 the bank book. 477 00:37:52,397 --> 00:37:54,077 Your own bank book? 478 00:37:54,886 --> 00:37:55,908 What? 479 00:37:55,974 --> 00:37:58,668 Three hundred and fifty-seven thousand dollars? 480 00:37:58,668 --> 00:38:00,567 Oh, I don't believe it. 481 00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:04,152 And mom, feel the numbers. I had them raised so Claire could feel them. 482 00:38:04,156 --> 00:38:07,821 Aw, you're such a darling boy. You're so sweet. 483 00:38:07,997 --> 00:38:10,645 Now we can get Claire that eye operation she needs. 484 00:38:11,325 --> 00:38:13,484 And a microwave oven for me! 485 00:38:13,574 --> 00:38:16,161 Oh, I'm so proud of you darling! 486 00:38:16,193 --> 00:38:18,023 I love you Mommy. 487 00:38:18,025 --> 00:38:20,603 I love you too darling. 488 00:38:23,518 --> 00:38:26,983 Oh, but Claire, I think I should stay here with you. 489 00:38:27,974 --> 00:38:29,707 And miss your first day at work? 490 00:38:30,196 --> 00:38:31,896 Oh, Melvin. It's okay. 491 00:38:32,134 --> 00:38:33,811 It's just going to be tests today, anyway. 492 00:38:33,952 --> 00:38:36,526 And I have the doctor and Mother Junko here. 493 00:38:36,617 --> 00:38:38,590 It'll be okay. 494 00:38:38,939 --> 00:38:41,931 That's right, Mr. Junko. Don't you worry about a thing. 495 00:38:42,065 --> 00:38:43,966 I'll take good are of her. 496 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,585 He's a wonderful doctor He's a member of the country club. 497 00:38:50,167 --> 00:38:52,328 Are you sure you want me to go, Claire? 498 00:38:52,393 --> 00:38:55,329 Oh, Melvin. I love you. 499 00:38:56,274 --> 00:38:57,720 I love you too, Claire. 500 00:38:57,979 --> 00:38:59,864 And I'll be back for the operation. 501 00:39:01,526 --> 00:39:03,943 Ladies and gentlemen, 502 00:39:04,627 --> 00:39:06,701 You haven't waited for nothing. 503 00:39:07,039 --> 00:39:10,843 Soon you'll be in the presence of a real leader. 504 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:12,494 And here he is. 505 00:39:15,242 --> 00:39:16,853 Right on time. 506 00:39:17,275 --> 00:39:20,601 And he's brought you a special surprise, 507 00:39:20,636 --> 00:39:24,261 a new employee, whom you all know and love. 508 00:39:24,316 --> 00:39:27,730 Someone you and I can trust and depend on. 509 00:39:27,854 --> 00:39:32,397 Someone who really knows how to clean up this town. 510 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,629 Hi everyone. Hi Mom. 511 00:39:36,049 --> 00:39:39,326 Now citizens, the Chairman. 512 00:39:39,860 --> 00:39:43,301 Hello, how ya doin'? Hi, how are ya? 513 00:39:45,279 --> 00:39:46,908 Hi people of Tromaville. 514 00:39:48,713 --> 00:39:50,954 Hi everybody. Hi mom. 515 00:39:52,910 --> 00:39:54,189 Hi everybody. 516 00:39:54,958 --> 00:39:56,395 Look, I got a job. 517 00:40:04,164 --> 00:40:07,860 Mayor Cigarface, people of Tromaville: 518 00:40:08,102 --> 00:40:11,164 Listen to me. Before you pass any quick judgements, 519 00:40:11,752 --> 00:40:13,710 who are you going to listen to? 520 00:40:14,311 --> 00:40:17,660 A bunch of whining environmentalists, 521 00:40:17,664 --> 00:40:20,264 who claim to be so afraid of toxic waste, 522 00:40:20,285 --> 00:40:21,912 when we know 523 00:40:22,632 --> 00:40:25,988 that waste is the natural by-product 524 00:40:26,008 --> 00:40:28,839 of every organic process. 525 00:40:29,559 --> 00:40:33,033 Or, are you going to listen to me? 526 00:40:33,467 --> 00:40:38,392 The one who cares enough about you... and your families 527 00:40:38,815 --> 00:40:42,458 to build for you a new and better Tromaville. 528 00:40:42,784 --> 00:40:45,434 No. Up yours, up yours! 529 00:40:45,462 --> 00:40:49,306 On so noble an enterprise as this, 530 00:40:49,994 --> 00:40:51,713 a profit there will be. 531 00:40:51,758 --> 00:40:53,477 Yes ladies and gentlemen, 532 00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:57,997 dioxin means dollars. 533 00:40:59,433 --> 00:41:02,485 Chemicals are cash. 534 00:41:02,489 --> 00:41:03,948 Say it to yourselves. 535 00:41:08,929 --> 00:41:12,393 Hold it down, hold it down. Just listen. 536 00:41:12,460 --> 00:41:13,960 Ahh! Ohh! 537 00:41:14,050 --> 00:41:15,951 He knows what he's talking about. 538 00:41:16,410 --> 00:41:19,054 I know that some of you out there seem to think 539 00:41:19,761 --> 00:41:22,195 that chemicals are bad. 540 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:28,031 I submit to you, you are chemicals. 541 00:41:29,171 --> 00:41:33,117 Everything is made of chemicals. 542 00:41:33,619 --> 00:41:38,072 And join me now in embracing dioxin 543 00:41:38,213 --> 00:41:39,758 and all her sister chemicals 544 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,183 and everything they represent. 545 00:41:44,675 --> 00:41:46,075 Happiness, 546 00:41:46,989 --> 00:41:48,612 prosperity, 547 00:41:48,968 --> 00:41:50,321 life. 548 00:41:50,659 --> 00:41:53,339 That, people of Tromaville, 549 00:41:53,490 --> 00:41:57,092 is the Apocalypse way. 550 00:41:57,671 --> 00:42:00,143 On my first big day working for Apocalypse, 551 00:42:00,578 --> 00:42:03,063 I was so excited about my good fortune 552 00:42:03,188 --> 00:42:05,088 that I didn't notice that the Tromavillians 553 00:42:05,100 --> 00:42:07,469 were actually hostile to the Chairman. 554 00:42:09,147 --> 00:42:12,998 Had I known then what I know now about the evil excesses of capitalism 555 00:42:13,059 --> 00:42:18,053 and the power elite, I surely would never have joined Apocalypse Incorporated 556 00:42:18,293 --> 00:42:21,449 but I didn't even read Mad Magazine much less Forbes, 557 00:42:21,625 --> 00:42:23,248 or the Wall Street Journal. 558 00:42:24,441 --> 00:42:28,350 How was I to know that the true agenda for Apocalypse, Incorporated 559 00:42:28,475 --> 00:42:30,342 was to take over Tromaville 560 00:42:30,377 --> 00:42:32,229 and enslave its people? 561 00:42:32,254 --> 00:42:34,454 No. No. No. No! 562 00:42:35,408 --> 00:42:37,459 Let go of her. Let go, ow! 563 00:42:46,466 --> 00:42:48,892 I have to admit, I did think that it was a bit strange 564 00:42:48,910 --> 00:42:51,512 that the Apocalypse employees in the gas masks 565 00:42:51,864 --> 00:42:53,516 were beating my friends senseless 566 00:42:53,706 --> 00:42:57,185 and dragging away even my mother into rehabilitation camps. 567 00:42:58,513 --> 00:43:01,833 But the chairman said that these were just the usual malcontents 568 00:43:01,993 --> 00:43:04,314 who turn-up for any cause or function; 569 00:43:04,436 --> 00:43:06,602 just there to interfere with progress. 570 00:43:07,178 --> 00:43:09,651 And I bought it hook, line and sinker. 571 00:43:11,526 --> 00:43:15,396 When my new company put the children to work making agent orange 572 00:43:15,460 --> 00:43:19,430 and other toxic chemicals, they told me it was a wonderful thing 573 00:43:19,493 --> 00:43:22,829 because all the children would be earning minimum wage. 574 00:43:23,851 --> 00:43:26,674 And besides, it would develop their small motor skills. 575 00:43:26,708 --> 00:43:29,620 And they would really learn their primary colors. 576 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:40,564 Come on. Get up. Get up. 577 00:43:48,576 --> 00:43:51,852 So you think this is going to be the new home for the blind, do ya? 578 00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:54,803 Well, you're wrong. This is the new nerve gas dump site. 579 00:44:00,159 --> 00:44:02,462 Looks great. I better go check out our boy. 580 00:44:06,915 --> 00:44:09,304 How's he doing? - Okay. Let's see. 581 00:44:10,132 --> 00:44:12,378 Mmmh. That's not so heavy. 582 00:44:13,657 --> 00:44:14,853 There you go. 583 00:44:15,938 --> 00:44:17,395 Be careful. 584 00:44:18,779 --> 00:44:21,730 One of my responsibities was to get the Tromavillians 585 00:44:21,793 --> 00:44:25,413 to join the Apocalypse Incorporated Self-Improvement Seminars. 586 00:44:28,397 --> 00:44:30,964 I did everything I could to help these volunteers 587 00:44:30,970 --> 00:44:33,221 find their way to the right classrooms. 588 00:44:35,516 --> 00:44:38,505 Stop pushing! Stay in line. 589 00:44:43,786 --> 00:44:45,269 - There you go. - Thanks. 590 00:44:46,947 --> 00:44:48,238 Apocalypse Incorporated 591 00:44:48,241 --> 00:44:51,507 had me doing a little bit of everything. - Have a nice day. 592 00:44:51,726 --> 00:44:53,227 C'mon, c'mon. Watch your step. 593 00:44:53,293 --> 00:44:55,686 We'll tear down these crummy homes. 594 00:44:55,756 --> 00:44:58,355 Yeah, like this old silo. 595 00:45:03,226 --> 00:45:05,119 Thanks potato head. - Bye Bye! 596 00:45:05,125 --> 00:45:07,147 Why don't you nail that sign down the block. 597 00:45:07,207 --> 00:45:08,374 Have a nice day. 598 00:45:26,426 --> 00:45:29,762 Nurse, would you dispose of this please. 599 00:45:29,826 --> 00:45:31,127 Of course doctor. 600 00:45:31,333 --> 00:45:32,421 Thank you. 601 00:45:34,093 --> 00:45:36,062 Melvin Junko? 602 00:45:37,284 --> 00:45:39,561 Melvin? - Yes Claire. I'm here. 603 00:45:39,626 --> 00:45:40,822 Doctor? 604 00:45:41,090 --> 00:45:42,966 I'm over here Claire... I'm over here, relax. 605 00:45:43,141 --> 00:45:44,227 Mother Junko? 606 00:45:44,289 --> 00:45:45,569 I'm here dear. 607 00:45:46,021 --> 00:45:47,026 Melvin? 608 00:45:47,144 --> 00:45:48,218 Yoo-hoo. 609 00:45:48,495 --> 00:45:50,255 Claire, nothing to be afraid of. 610 00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:53,139 You're going to be seeing all those wonderful things very soon. 611 00:45:53,438 --> 00:45:54,635 Just hold very still. 612 00:45:54,638 --> 00:45:56,116 I don't want to poke your new eyes out 613 00:45:56,118 --> 00:45:57,207 with these scissors. 614 00:45:58,659 --> 00:46:01,739 Hold very still. I'm getting there. 615 00:46:02,610 --> 00:46:04,537 Just another moment. - Melvin? 616 00:46:04,950 --> 00:46:06,150 Just another moment. 617 00:46:07,495 --> 00:46:10,203 Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them. 618 00:46:13,112 --> 00:46:14,598 Okay, very very slowly. 619 00:46:17,297 --> 00:46:18,297 Very slowly. 620 00:46:18,833 --> 00:46:19,833 That's it. 621 00:46:21,489 --> 00:46:23,608 That's it. That's it Claire. 622 00:46:31,503 --> 00:46:33,528 Melvin it's too horrible. 623 00:46:33,594 --> 00:46:37,344 No Claire, calm down. Melvin's over there. 624 00:46:49,293 --> 00:46:50,927 Melvin? 625 00:46:53,638 --> 00:46:56,997 Melvin. Melvin, you're beautiful. 626 00:46:57,482 --> 00:46:59,562 Claire. You can see. You can finally see. 627 00:47:01,093 --> 00:47:04,817 I can see. This is the happiest day of my life. 628 00:47:05,513 --> 00:47:07,987 Oh Melvin. Oh darling! 629 00:47:22,453 --> 00:47:28,151 Oh, squeeze me. Oh, squeeze me. Oh, squeeze me. 630 00:47:30,227 --> 00:47:32,148 Oh, Melvy! 631 00:47:38,727 --> 00:47:40,574 Oh, squeeze me baby. 632 00:47:40,722 --> 00:47:42,189 Oh that's right baby. 633 00:47:47,190 --> 00:47:49,022 No I want to see everything. 634 00:48:02,225 --> 00:48:04,763 So this is your big, beautiful love machine. 635 00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:10,534 Yes. That's one of the advantages of being a hideously deformed creature 636 00:48:10,538 --> 00:48:12,824 of super-human size and strength. 637 00:48:16,863 --> 00:48:20,107 Oh, that's nice. Hold still. 638 00:48:22,181 --> 00:48:24,028 Oh touch me! Touch me! 639 00:48:24,180 --> 00:48:25,180 Oh, honey, oh! 640 00:48:33,891 --> 00:48:35,123 Yes! 641 00:49:09,367 --> 00:49:10,667 I love you. 642 00:49:35,624 --> 00:49:39,667 ♪ Oh, ♪ 643 00:49:39,765 --> 00:49:41,744 ♪ There's no place ♪ 644 00:49:41,784 --> 00:49:44,847 ♪ like ♪ 645 00:49:45,418 --> 00:49:52,475 ♪ home. ♪ 646 00:49:53,888 --> 00:49:56,543 I guess I won't need these canes anymore. 647 00:50:17,485 --> 00:50:19,882 When this land-fill is created, 648 00:50:19,931 --> 00:50:22,470 it will be the largest chromium waste dump 649 00:50:22,521 --> 00:50:24,580 within a thousand miles. 650 00:50:27,527 --> 00:50:28,866 The Toxic Avenger 651 00:50:28,928 --> 00:50:32,745 is one of Apocalypse's most promising young executives. 652 00:50:35,007 --> 00:50:36,693 Yea! - Yeah. 653 00:50:37,829 --> 00:50:39,362 Well done, Melvin. 654 00:50:40,167 --> 00:50:41,905 - Yeah! - Yea. 655 00:50:53,526 --> 00:50:56,362 Melvin. Here honey, I made your favorite breakfast. 656 00:50:56,426 --> 00:50:58,608 Radioactive oatbran. 657 00:50:59,004 --> 00:51:01,430 Melvin? Melvin! 658 00:51:02,373 --> 00:51:03,535 Melvin!! 659 00:51:04,889 --> 00:51:06,716 Your breakfast is ready, sweetie. 660 00:51:07,016 --> 00:51:08,527 Heey. No time babe. 661 00:51:09,711 --> 00:51:12,898 Anyway, I gotta do an egg with the chairman this morning! 662 00:51:14,129 --> 00:51:16,731 like wow, okay, look at this. 663 00:51:16,764 --> 00:51:19,108 Waste Vacuum's up three pointers. 664 00:51:19,867 --> 00:51:20,875 Huh? 665 00:51:23,214 --> 00:51:26,693 Hey, hey. Don't be so glum. 666 00:51:27,240 --> 00:51:29,545 Soon, it's the weekend. 667 00:51:30,118 --> 00:51:33,018 We'll do brunch. What are you gonna do this morning, babe? 668 00:51:33,159 --> 00:51:35,886 Well, I thought I'd take a nice long walk... 669 00:51:36,404 --> 00:51:38,389 ...and go over and see the environmentalists. 670 00:51:38,540 --> 00:51:42,197 They want me to help them save the Tromaville bird santuary. 671 00:51:43,493 --> 00:51:47,292 But Melvin, what kind of talk is that? 672 00:51:47,712 --> 00:51:50,649 "Do an egg. Do brunch." 673 00:51:51,724 --> 00:51:54,395 That doesn't sound like New Jersey talk to me. 674 00:51:55,966 --> 00:51:59,049 That's upwardly mobile lingo, ya know? 675 00:51:59,257 --> 00:52:02,225 But listen, I got to go, go, go! 676 00:52:02,274 --> 00:52:05,714 So, like he said, okay. S'okay? Okay. So listen, I got to go. 677 00:52:06,193 --> 00:52:11,341 Oh. Kisses and hugs. Remember, you gotta go, go, go! 678 00:52:11,559 --> 00:52:14,741 Heh, hey. Yeah! Ooo, I gotta check that tutu. 679 00:52:15,061 --> 00:52:17,730 There it is. There it is! It looks great. 680 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,295 Bye-bye. Heh, heh, heh, hah. 681 00:52:21,941 --> 00:52:23,008 Babe? 682 00:52:23,775 --> 00:52:24,932 Do an egg? 683 00:52:25,595 --> 00:52:26,934 Waste Vacuum? 684 00:52:27,891 --> 00:52:29,210 Mmm. 685 00:52:37,996 --> 00:52:39,293 Can you believe it? 686 00:52:39,866 --> 00:52:41,253 I don't know. 687 00:52:42,412 --> 00:52:43,509 Oh my God! 688 00:52:46,013 --> 00:52:48,024 Hey girls. What's up? - Hey, hey. - Give me some. 689 00:52:48,026 --> 00:52:49,742 The worst of it was poor Claire. 690 00:52:50,596 --> 00:52:52,171 The operation opened her eyes 691 00:52:52,182 --> 00:52:54,748 just in time to see her beloved Tromaville 692 00:52:54,884 --> 00:52:57,677 overrun with the parasites of corporate greed 693 00:52:57,917 --> 00:53:00,503 and the vermin of political corruption. 694 00:53:00,567 --> 00:53:02,782 - Huh! - And I was the cause of it. 695 00:53:03,698 --> 00:53:04,793 C'mon over here baby. 696 00:53:04,797 --> 00:53:08,437 - How much will it take to get both of you off the street? Whoah! - Lousy pimp! 697 00:53:08,479 --> 00:53:11,289 What's going on here? Hey you hookers. Get out of here. 698 00:53:12,201 --> 00:53:13,090 Yes sir. Yes sir. 699 00:53:13,095 --> 00:53:15,129 Leave this young man alone. Whaddya think your doin' here! 700 00:53:15,133 --> 00:53:17,187 You, you, you, you and you gotta-- ah-- go-- ooo-- 701 00:53:19,156 --> 00:53:23,787 C'mon. C'mon. Don't you know the babes are checked. C'mon. Move it! 702 00:53:24,757 --> 00:53:25,757 Echh! 703 00:53:26,629 --> 00:53:28,404 Vomit break. Vomit break. 704 00:53:28,595 --> 00:53:30,546 C'mon. Puke or die, you bastards. 705 00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:34,702 Get it up. let's go. C'mon, c'mon. Wheel out that stomach. 706 00:53:34,808 --> 00:53:39,216 C'mon, c'mon. Alright. Tromavillian Aaaah. Go Home, puke, 707 00:53:39,219 --> 00:53:42,707 come back in 20 minutes. I don't want to see anybody without puke stains on 'em. 708 00:53:44,281 --> 00:53:48,125 Before I knew it, I'd become a toxic yuppie on the fast track. 709 00:53:52,333 --> 00:53:55,018 The Tromavillians tried to put on a brave face, 710 00:53:55,084 --> 00:53:57,745 and made the best of their mutated environment. 711 00:53:58,150 --> 00:54:02,245 But what does one feed to a creature that is half frog and half duck? 712 00:54:02,615 --> 00:54:04,724 Worse yet, what would you call it? 713 00:54:11,526 --> 00:54:14,448 Listen. Listen! I don't care if she's 80. 714 00:54:14,572 --> 00:54:16,517 If she doesn't have the rent at the end of the month, 715 00:54:16,519 --> 00:54:17,685 I want her out of there. 716 00:54:20,633 --> 00:54:24,226 Larry, bubbale, baby! How are ya? 717 00:54:24,955 --> 00:54:26,940 Melvin. I want to talk to you. 718 00:54:28,122 --> 00:54:29,445 Can't it wait? I'm on the phone. 719 00:54:29,618 --> 00:54:30,340 No. 720 00:54:30,345 --> 00:54:33,622 Well, I gotta go. Claire's being a nudge. 721 00:54:35,134 --> 00:54:36,167 Ah, yes. 722 00:54:38,067 --> 00:54:40,235 Melvin, something's very wrong. 723 00:54:40,782 --> 00:54:42,502 This company you're working for, 724 00:54:43,478 --> 00:54:45,423 I think they're doing evil things. 725 00:54:46,214 --> 00:54:47,422 Don't be silly. 726 00:54:48,242 --> 00:54:50,064 You've changed so much, lately. 727 00:54:50,433 --> 00:54:52,093 You seem so different. 728 00:54:53,050 --> 00:54:54,940 You're just not yourself, lately. 729 00:54:55,187 --> 00:54:58,418 Well, yes, but... how could you badmouth Apocalypse? 730 00:54:58,526 --> 00:55:00,861 I mean, c'mon. If it wasn't for them, 731 00:55:01,260 --> 00:55:04,161 you would still be stumbling around on that cane. 732 00:55:05,111 --> 00:55:06,207 I know, 733 00:55:06,386 --> 00:55:09,689 but I'd rather be, I'd rather be blind in heaven 734 00:55:10,222 --> 00:55:11,637 than sighted in hell. 735 00:55:12,598 --> 00:55:14,269 Tromaville's being destroyed. 736 00:55:14,489 --> 00:55:18,070 And all you can do is listen to executapes morning, noon and night. 737 00:55:18,798 --> 00:55:19,824 Melvin, 738 00:55:20,950 --> 00:55:23,354 I think someone is trying to brainwash you. 739 00:55:25,119 --> 00:55:27,399 I don't have to listen to this garbage. 740 00:55:29,758 --> 00:55:33,490 You just remember, I signed that contract for YOU ! 741 00:55:36,318 --> 00:55:37,566 And I gave up my blindness 742 00:55:37,669 --> 00:55:40,065 to see you get involved in a plot to pollute the world!? 743 00:55:40,248 --> 00:55:41,302 Haah! 744 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,779 What about all the people who counted on you to clean-up evil? 745 00:55:44,904 --> 00:55:47,323 What about all the kids who believed in you? 746 00:55:48,092 --> 00:55:50,691 What about all those people in reel 9 of the first movie 747 00:55:50,693 --> 00:55:52,221 who stood up for you? 748 00:55:54,359 --> 00:55:57,413 What about the messengers, Melvin? You're their hero. 749 00:55:58,346 --> 00:56:01,487 What about all those marvelous people out there in the dark? 750 00:56:02,267 --> 00:56:04,265 What about your favorite patriots, Melvin? 751 00:56:04,684 --> 00:56:07,778 Is life so dear, or peace so sweet 752 00:56:08,010 --> 00:56:10,511 as to be purchased at the price of slavery? 753 00:56:11,434 --> 00:56:14,544 I know not what course others may take... but as for me,... 754 00:56:16,184 --> 00:56:18,866 Give me liberty, or give me death! 755 00:56:21,549 --> 00:56:22,874 I'm outta here. 756 00:56:24,127 --> 00:56:25,656 Just walk out the door and... 757 00:56:26,375 --> 00:56:28,431 and turn your back on humanity. 758 00:56:38,007 --> 00:56:40,803 Phooey on you, toxic traitor. 759 00:56:41,224 --> 00:56:42,790 Boo, toxic bad guy. 760 00:56:44,300 --> 00:56:45,599 Pick on Donald Trump. 761 00:56:45,807 --> 00:56:47,592 Why don't you go out to Exxon. 762 00:56:54,335 --> 00:56:58,176 I felt that my whole world was caving in around me. 763 00:56:58,357 --> 00:57:00,970 I went to my favorite place to sit and think: 764 00:57:01,914 --> 00:57:03,012 the junkyard. 765 00:57:03,239 --> 00:57:05,362 Coming to this place had always comforted me. 766 00:57:06,435 --> 00:57:08,918 But now, the old cars, 767 00:57:09,147 --> 00:57:11,834 the headlights were staring at me. 768 00:57:12,444 --> 00:57:15,484 The grills were grinning and mocking me. 769 00:57:16,413 --> 00:57:21,715 Oh, oh, oh. Whoah, whoah. 770 00:57:21,726 --> 00:57:28,458 300 and 57,000 dollars. It's all yours. 771 00:57:28,941 --> 00:57:35,036 300... ... ...for you. - 300 and 57,000 dollars, its all yours. 772 00:57:35,559 --> 00:57:39,991 Wooh, ha, ha, ha. - Whoah. 773 00:57:48,504 --> 00:57:50,824 All these things.... 774 00:57:50,998 --> 00:57:52,726 Whoa... whoa... 775 00:57:53,210 --> 00:57:54,552 Let me boff Claire. 776 00:58:11,322 --> 00:58:12,822 Whoa, oh, oh... 777 00:58:18,993 --> 00:58:20,923 Let me boff Claire.... 778 00:58:26,633 --> 00:58:31,357 We won't rescue you... let me boff Claire. 779 00:58:37,893 --> 00:58:41,807 $357,OOO. Ha, Ha, Ha. 780 00:58:42,152 --> 00:58:48,806 $357,OOO. $357,OOO. Ha, ha, ha. 781 00:59:05,106 --> 00:59:11,995 All this can be yours! If you will work for me. 782 00:59:12,526 --> 00:59:14,241 All this, 783 00:59:14,268 --> 00:59:19,552 if you will fall down and worship me! 784 00:59:24,950 --> 00:59:27,167 Wait a minute! You said worship me. 785 00:59:27,217 --> 00:59:28,502 You said worship me! 786 00:59:28,549 --> 00:59:30,059 Not work for me. 787 00:59:31,096 --> 00:59:32,987 Where have I heard that before? 788 00:59:33,312 --> 00:59:36,701 All these things I will give thee, 789 00:59:36,896 --> 00:59:40,596 if thou wilt kneel down and worship me! 790 00:59:42,081 --> 00:59:45,497 Oh, nooo! 791 00:59:52,559 --> 00:59:56,531 Nooo! 792 01:00:10,468 --> 01:00:14,077 How could I have thought that I was helping Tromaville? 793 01:00:15,475 --> 01:00:18,192 How could I have been so deluded? 794 01:00:19,652 --> 01:00:21,712 Oh, I can't believe it. 795 01:00:22,517 --> 01:00:24,182 Claire was right. 796 01:00:25,420 --> 01:00:26,965 What have I done? 797 01:00:28,666 --> 01:00:30,713 Have I sold my soul? 798 01:00:31,379 --> 01:00:33,121 What have I become? 799 01:00:33,644 --> 01:00:35,685 I'm evil. Evil. 800 01:00:36,717 --> 01:00:38,467 How can I face her again? 801 01:00:38,892 --> 01:00:40,939 What can I say to make it up to her? 802 01:00:46,227 --> 01:00:47,854 I can't believe it. 803 01:01:01,862 --> 01:01:03,086 Claire, 804 01:01:04,129 --> 01:01:05,297 Claire, 805 01:01:06,657 --> 01:01:07,657 Claire, 806 01:01:08,810 --> 01:01:10,054 Claire. 807 01:01:11,020 --> 01:01:12,020 Wake up. 808 01:01:12,794 --> 01:01:13,994 Wake up. 809 01:01:15,697 --> 01:01:17,089 Melvin, what's wrong? 810 01:01:17,601 --> 01:01:19,057 You're shaking. 811 01:01:20,009 --> 01:01:22,436 Don't worry. I'll be alright. 812 01:01:23,303 --> 01:01:25,940 I think your eye operation has helped me to see. 813 01:01:27,891 --> 01:01:29,109 You were right. 814 01:01:29,402 --> 01:01:31,135 Apocalypse is evil. 815 01:01:31,729 --> 01:01:33,405 They do horrible things. 816 01:01:35,083 --> 01:01:36,845 I've got to stand up and fight them. 817 01:01:38,322 --> 01:01:40,252 But how? How are you going to do that? 818 01:01:40,585 --> 01:01:42,298 Well, the sumos taught me 819 01:01:42,505 --> 01:01:44,502 that when you face a formidable opponent, 820 01:01:45,684 --> 01:01:47,130 you must make the first move. 821 01:01:48,023 --> 01:01:50,025 I'm so proud of you, baby. 822 01:01:51,114 --> 01:01:53,247 But how will you fight Apocalypse? 823 01:01:55,937 --> 01:01:57,845 How will I fight them? 824 01:02:03,115 --> 01:02:06,335 How will I fight them? How will I fight them? 825 01:02:08,518 --> 01:02:10,453 The old fashioned way, that's how! 826 01:02:10,609 --> 01:02:12,060 Oh, Melvin! 827 01:02:12,167 --> 01:02:16,263 Well, that's the whole, horrible, terrible truth. 828 01:02:16,899 --> 01:02:18,520 What a mensch! 829 01:02:22,411 --> 01:02:25,497 But now I was ready to make amends. 830 01:02:25,777 --> 01:02:27,944 Now I would show the good people of Tromaville 831 01:02:28,081 --> 01:02:31,519 that they could look up to me once again as their very own, 832 01:02:31,539 --> 01:02:35,662 newly reformed, hideously deformed, super-hero. 833 01:02:35,793 --> 01:02:39,136 But first I had to earn their respect. 834 01:02:39,765 --> 01:02:41,988 As quick as my two feet would take me, 835 01:02:41,991 --> 01:02:44,821 I was out there giving them my toxic all. 836 01:02:45,129 --> 01:02:48,138 The Toxic Avenger is coming. 837 01:02:48,185 --> 01:02:49,837 Melvin's back. 838 01:02:58,331 --> 01:03:00,041 The Toxic Avenger is back 839 01:03:00,191 --> 01:03:01,766 The Toxic Avenger's coming. 840 01:03:01,842 --> 01:03:03,634 Melvin, bbbbbb. 841 01:03:09,542 --> 01:03:11,387 Thank you for saving my dog. Toxie. 842 01:03:11,487 --> 01:03:13,567 Here's your doggie, good junior citizens. 843 01:03:25,824 --> 01:03:29,264 Helping to undo all the horrible wrongs I had committed 844 01:03:29,426 --> 01:03:32,688 during my descent into the Chairman's clutches. 845 01:03:32,747 --> 01:03:36,915 But now, I was ready to confront the evil chairman on his own turf. 846 01:03:36,981 --> 01:03:39,352 I would mop up the evil in Tromaville 847 01:03:39,384 --> 01:03:42,390 and make room for ''The Toxic Avenger Part Four!'' 848 01:03:58,338 --> 01:04:01,741 Aah, my new assistant. 849 01:04:02,056 --> 01:04:04,007 Still carrying that mop I see. 850 01:04:05,133 --> 01:04:09,291 Here to ah, clean up the new headquarters? 851 01:04:09,319 --> 01:04:11,096 Ha, ha, ha... 852 01:04:11,825 --> 01:04:13,301 Here to clean 'em out! 853 01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:16,833 Ho, ho. It was a joke! 854 01:04:16,964 --> 01:04:19,221 Melvin, Melvin, Melvin. What's wrong? 855 01:04:19,736 --> 01:04:23,289 I thought, uh, we were partners. You and I had a deal, hm-hm? 856 01:04:23,642 --> 01:04:26,161 Toxic Avenger doesn't deal with evil. 857 01:04:27,685 --> 01:04:30,734 Well, well. I think our boy knows something. 858 01:04:31,260 --> 01:04:33,009 I think I know who you are! 859 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:37,123 - Whooo. - A contract is a contract. 860 01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,905 And you're a man of your word. 861 01:04:40,037 --> 01:04:43,932 Right, Melvinnnnn! 862 01:04:47,670 --> 01:04:50,269 I don't care about your dumb contract. 863 01:04:50,470 --> 01:04:52,605 We want you out of Tromaville. 864 01:04:56,739 --> 01:05:00,353 Good citizens of Tromaville, Apocalypse is through. 865 01:05:00,634 --> 01:05:02,748 Chairman, you're history. 866 01:05:07,340 --> 01:05:10,071 Yes, Melvin. 867 01:05:10,229 --> 01:05:13,979 I am history. Ah, ha, ha, ha. ha... 868 01:05:14,060 --> 01:05:16,237 - What's happening? - Oh my God, - Look at that! 869 01:05:16,316 --> 01:05:19,201 Oh, you still don't realize 870 01:05:19,301 --> 01:05:23,153 whom you're dealing with, do you? 871 01:05:24,150 --> 01:05:28,518 See me as I am !!! 872 01:05:30,270 --> 01:05:33,388 Ahhrgh !! 873 01:05:36,964 --> 01:05:38,398 Stay back. Stay back. 874 01:05:43,281 --> 01:05:45,722 -Whoo! Ooo, what fun! 875 01:05:45,728 --> 01:05:48,655 Oh, oh, my purpose! Ooo! 876 01:05:49,689 --> 01:05:50,974 Ooo... 877 01:06:41,398 --> 01:06:42,398 Ewww! 878 01:06:42,870 --> 01:06:45,190 I'm totally confused. 879 01:06:45,870 --> 01:06:48,161 Oh! The Devil. 880 01:06:57,534 --> 01:06:59,838 Ah, ha, ha, ha. 881 01:07:14,859 --> 01:07:15,859 Yewch! 882 01:07:29,645 --> 01:07:32,573 You are one ugly amphibian. 883 01:08:05,470 --> 01:08:07,872 Alright, Junko. 884 01:08:08,068 --> 01:08:10,022 Let's party. 885 01:08:32,047 --> 01:08:34,694 No problem. I meant to do that. 886 01:08:35,582 --> 01:08:38,405 What will it be? Dark places? 887 01:08:38,592 --> 01:08:40,257 Magic swords? 888 01:08:40,460 --> 01:08:43,752 Choose your weapon and your arena. 889 01:08:44,390 --> 01:08:46,968 Oh, I know. 890 01:08:47,398 --> 01:08:50,662 You play video games, don't you Melvin? 891 01:08:51,270 --> 01:08:56,719 I'm going to show you the Five Levels of Doom. 892 01:08:58,435 --> 01:08:59,564 Earth, 893 01:08:59,935 --> 01:09:01,090 wind, 894 01:09:01,223 --> 01:09:02,428 fire, 895 01:09:02,487 --> 01:09:03,487 water 896 01:09:03,574 --> 01:09:05,134 and the last one. 897 01:09:06,753 --> 01:09:09,245 But nobody gets to the last one anyway. 898 01:09:13,340 --> 01:09:15,723 Then let the battle begin. 899 01:09:15,733 --> 01:09:18,842 Ready or not, here we go! 900 01:09:24,301 --> 01:09:27,425 Oooo. Level One: Earth. 901 01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:37,246 Oh, Melvy! 902 01:09:49,146 --> 01:09:51,629 Oh, oh. I don't believe it! 903 01:09:57,810 --> 01:09:59,123 Oh no, oh! 904 01:10:04,555 --> 01:10:08,903 This is one load of toxic waste that won't stay buried. 905 01:10:09,103 --> 01:10:11,553 Hey you! Hey normal face! 906 01:10:12,081 --> 01:10:15,363 Get him! I'll give you a thousand dollars to run that guy over. 907 01:10:15,902 --> 01:10:19,275 Wait, the budget for this movie is only two million. 908 01:10:19,337 --> 01:10:22,873 Thirty! Thirty dollars... I'll give you thirty dollars to run over that guy. 909 01:10:35,904 --> 01:10:39,187 Get him! Get him! Run him over now. 910 01:10:42,207 --> 01:10:44,117 Melvin, watch out! 911 01:10:44,120 --> 01:10:45,505 Stop! Stop it! 912 01:10:48,650 --> 01:10:52,236 The Devil has paralyzed me, I can't move. 913 01:10:52,405 --> 01:10:53,895 I can't move! - Save my son. 914 01:11:24,766 --> 01:11:26,192 Melvin! 915 01:11:45,239 --> 01:11:46,639 Huh? - Oh. 916 01:11:50,216 --> 01:11:52,206 That's my son. 917 01:11:54,285 --> 01:11:56,127 Ah! You did it! 918 01:12:01,386 --> 01:12:05,036 Mmmh. Nice work, Mevlin. 919 01:12:06,314 --> 01:12:08,874 But now, we're up to level two. 920 01:12:09,589 --> 01:12:12,273 A personal favorite of mine... 921 01:12:12,337 --> 01:12:13,875 Fire. 922 01:12:19,938 --> 01:12:23,349 I'll turn Tromaville into ashes. 923 01:12:33,050 --> 01:12:35,232 Have a taste of hell. 924 01:12:55,043 --> 01:12:57,689 Oh please, carry the water. 925 01:12:58,043 --> 01:12:59,994 Please, put him out. Water! 926 01:13:05,052 --> 01:13:06,519 Please, somebody help. 927 01:13:12,753 --> 01:13:15,218 Oh no we're out of water. 928 01:13:16,404 --> 01:13:18,841 C'mon outta that tu-tu, John Henry. 929 01:13:49,354 --> 01:13:51,359 Now I'm pissed. 930 01:13:51,653 --> 01:13:53,868 Your friends save you. 931 01:13:54,170 --> 01:13:57,449 But can you save your friends? 932 01:14:06,659 --> 01:14:09,925 Oh, see the little children getting on the school bus. 933 01:14:12,022 --> 01:14:14,250 It's fun and games time. 934 01:14:19,070 --> 01:14:23,984 Don't make a fuss. Leave the driving to us. 935 01:14:31,767 --> 01:14:32,906 All aboard. 936 01:14:37,543 --> 01:14:38,989 Melvin look! 937 01:14:39,826 --> 01:14:42,141 They're all going my way. 938 01:14:44,684 --> 01:14:46,840 No, not the children. 939 01:14:47,436 --> 01:14:49,172 Your battle is with me. 940 01:14:53,505 --> 01:14:55,519 Safety first kids. 941 01:14:57,366 --> 01:15:00,274 Hold on kiddies, we're going through a curve. 942 01:15:21,333 --> 01:15:22,867 Stay calm good citizen. 943 01:15:24,379 --> 01:15:26,513 ♪ Miss Lucy had a steamboat ♪ 944 01:15:26,545 --> 01:15:27,983 ♪ The steamboat had a bell ♪ 945 01:15:28,454 --> 01:15:30,054 ♪ Miss Lucy went to heaven ♪ 946 01:15:30,057 --> 01:15:31,893 ♪ And the steamboat went to hell. ♪ 947 01:15:35,783 --> 01:15:39,734 Da dum, da da de dum, da dum, da dum.... 948 01:15:46,050 --> 01:15:49,452 This is so good. - Marvelous. -Yeah good. 949 01:15:51,860 --> 01:15:53,754 This is good pie. 950 01:15:59,112 --> 01:16:01,059 That's pork, Rabbi! 951 01:16:02,051 --> 01:16:03,126 Hey look! 952 01:16:10,389 --> 01:16:11,389 No! 953 01:16:14,258 --> 01:16:15,358 What? 954 01:16:20,163 --> 01:16:21,547 No. 955 01:16:21,579 --> 01:16:22,579 Watch out. 956 01:16:25,332 --> 01:16:26,370 No. 957 01:16:27,506 --> 01:16:29,348 Watch out. Get out of the way. 958 01:16:38,498 --> 01:16:39,638 Oy. 959 01:16:45,877 --> 01:16:46,877 Gotcha. 960 01:16:50,158 --> 01:16:53,065 C'mon, c'mon. Break some legs, let's go! 961 01:17:29,832 --> 01:17:31,301 That got 'em 962 01:17:32,497 --> 01:17:35,603 Don't be frightened. I'm coming! 963 01:17:37,235 --> 01:17:39,723 How do you like this level of Doom? 964 01:17:40,113 --> 01:17:41,698 Wind. 965 01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:48,220 Oh, give up now Melvin, and they live. 966 01:17:49,288 --> 01:17:50,337 Never. 967 01:17:56,963 --> 01:17:58,005 Let's go. 968 01:17:59,646 --> 01:18:03,805 - Help! - Help! - Help!! - Help! - Help! 969 01:18:04,568 --> 01:18:06,388 I've got to save 'em. 970 01:18:07,965 --> 01:18:09,920 Ow, uh, ouch, ow, oh... 971 01:18:12,231 --> 01:18:13,331 No! 972 01:18:16,166 --> 01:18:19,735 Have no fear children. Toxic's here! 973 01:18:28,288 --> 01:18:30,477 I can't do this. I'm not Superman. 974 01:18:31,007 --> 01:18:32,055 I got it! 975 01:18:38,391 --> 01:18:41,678 Don't just stand there, Malfaire. Shoot him! 976 01:18:41,991 --> 01:18:43,492 Aw, it's jammed. 977 01:18:59,557 --> 01:19:02,774 There. Alright, everybody out. Quick! Move it. 978 01:19:05,624 --> 01:19:07,659 Fall bus fall. 979 01:19:12,098 --> 01:19:14,166 Hurry. The bus is about to fall. 980 01:19:14,231 --> 01:19:15,232 Thanks Toxie. 981 01:19:17,032 --> 01:19:18,366 There you go. 982 01:19:18,975 --> 01:19:19,925 Thank you Melvin. 983 01:19:19,931 --> 01:19:21,300 Don't mention it Glenn. 984 01:19:28,265 --> 01:19:31,334 Get out now or you won't be around to see how this movie ends. 985 01:19:31,398 --> 01:19:33,299 Hurry. C'mon. 986 01:20:01,112 --> 01:20:04,747 I'm melting. 987 01:20:04,910 --> 01:20:08,677 The witch is dead. Yeah! 988 01:20:10,252 --> 01:20:13,806 Ding dong, the witch is dead. - Yay! 989 01:20:17,052 --> 01:20:18,457 Melvin! Yay! 990 01:20:23,731 --> 01:20:26,934 Oh my God, the Devil's fixing the bus. 991 01:20:29,055 --> 01:20:31,066 He's putting it back together again. 992 01:20:35,167 --> 01:20:36,233 What's going on? 993 01:21:02,382 --> 01:21:05,308 Ah, you may have left Malfaire flat. 994 01:21:05,538 --> 01:21:08,885 But now you will perish, Avenger. 995 01:21:13,698 --> 01:21:16,429 This next level of Doom is a doosie. 996 01:21:17,164 --> 01:21:18,164 Water. 997 01:21:20,560 --> 01:21:22,033 Stop that bus. 998 01:21:24,565 --> 01:21:26,133 Banzai. 999 01:21:27,265 --> 01:21:28,532 You devil you. 1000 01:21:28,598 --> 01:21:30,366 Don't slip you. 1001 01:21:34,698 --> 01:21:36,640 Hang on Melvin. 1002 01:21:57,331 --> 01:22:00,755 Don't drive into Bob Tall's Famous Fantasy Acres Mud Bogs. 1003 01:22:46,032 --> 01:22:48,591 - Oh no. - No! - Oh no, no! 1004 01:23:00,490 --> 01:23:02,959 -Yah! - Yay! - Yeah. 1005 01:23:07,532 --> 01:23:09,409 Oh God. 1006 01:23:09,420 --> 01:23:11,012 It's an old Sumo trick. 1007 01:23:11,303 --> 01:23:13,383 They use it whenever they're in a runaway school bus 1008 01:23:13,485 --> 01:23:15,963 that plunges into a deadly pool of 1009 01:23:16,058 --> 01:23:17,847 muddy, murky water. 1010 01:23:23,054 --> 01:23:25,925 'Scuse me. Excuse me, people. Get out of the way. 1011 01:23:25,954 --> 01:23:29,227 I've gotta clean up this dirty mess in Tromaville. 1012 01:23:31,080 --> 01:23:34,889 You are becoming an annoying horsefly. 1013 01:23:35,219 --> 01:23:37,647 But swatting time is here. 1014 01:23:37,898 --> 01:23:41,435 I bring you, courtesy of hell, 1015 01:23:41,510 --> 01:23:44,288 the final level of Doom. 1016 01:23:44,632 --> 01:23:49,056 The mind is a terrible thing to waste. 1017 01:23:49,498 --> 01:23:50,889 And I... 1018 01:23:50,937 --> 01:23:54,742 am going to waste yours. 1019 01:24:08,708 --> 01:24:10,497 Stop it! Stop it! 1020 01:24:14,879 --> 01:24:18,489 What's happening to me? I don't feel so well. 1021 01:24:23,694 --> 01:24:25,831 You ought to treat those boils. 1022 01:24:28,998 --> 01:24:32,764 Oh, what's the matter, Melvin? Got a headache? 1023 01:24:37,589 --> 01:24:38,589 No! 1024 01:25:24,585 --> 01:25:27,991 Losing weight the easy way, Melvin. 1025 01:25:32,406 --> 01:25:36,102 Pull yourself together, Melvin. 1026 01:25:48,323 --> 01:25:50,788 Oh, no. Oh Toxie. 1027 01:25:50,866 --> 01:25:52,773 Oh no. No! 1028 01:25:58,332 --> 01:26:01,501 Oh, my God. What's happening to Toxie? 1029 01:26:08,420 --> 01:26:11,170 Melvin, Melvie. Melvie! 1030 01:26:19,998 --> 01:26:22,567 Claire, Mommy, Claire. 1031 01:26:22,798 --> 01:26:26,215 Julie, Julie. I don't smell nuthin'. 1032 01:26:28,717 --> 01:26:29,717 Mommy! 1033 01:26:33,726 --> 01:26:36,547 Mommy! What happened to me? What happened to me? 1034 01:26:42,353 --> 01:26:45,567 Oy vey! You look just like your father. 1035 01:26:53,870 --> 01:26:55,096 Oh, my poor boy. 1036 01:26:55,100 --> 01:26:56,800 Melvin, Melvin, here's your Sumo diaper. 1037 01:26:56,944 --> 01:26:58,592 Put it on. Put it on this way. 1038 01:26:59,783 --> 01:27:00,867 Maybe this will help you. 1039 01:27:00,867 --> 01:27:02,873 Remember what your sumo friends taught you? 1040 01:27:02,891 --> 01:27:03,891 Remember? 1041 01:27:17,518 --> 01:27:20,979 Oh, little Melvin. You don't even know where you are. 1042 01:27:21,214 --> 01:27:23,932 Are you in Tromaville? Are you in Japan? 1043 01:27:24,201 --> 01:27:25,979 Where are you? 1044 01:27:41,172 --> 01:27:46,348 Oh look, look. little Melvin. Your girlfriend wants to help. 1045 01:27:46,352 --> 01:27:48,592 I denounce you, Satan. 1046 01:27:54,231 --> 01:27:57,447 Oh! Oh my God! My eyes. I'm blind. 1047 01:27:59,965 --> 01:28:01,595 I'm blind again. 1048 01:28:04,467 --> 01:28:06,101 Help me. Melvin. 1049 01:28:35,808 --> 01:28:37,155 Melvin. 1050 01:28:37,975 --> 01:28:39,273 Melvin. 1051 01:28:42,170 --> 01:28:44,412 It's your mother. Melvin. 1052 01:28:48,629 --> 01:28:51,672 Ooo, what are doing to her? 1053 01:28:51,976 --> 01:28:57,186 After all, a boy's best friend is his mummy. 1054 01:28:58,241 --> 01:29:00,236 If only I could find that contract. 1055 01:29:00,492 --> 01:29:02,942 Ah, if I could find that contract 1056 01:29:03,629 --> 01:29:05,374 then maybe I could help Melvin. 1057 01:29:05,894 --> 01:29:07,498 I don't know where he put it. 1058 01:29:07,626 --> 01:29:09,699 If I could just find that contract 1059 01:29:09,999 --> 01:29:12,232 then we could clean this whole thing up. 1060 01:29:12,791 --> 01:29:15,655 Get out of my way, worm. 1061 01:29:18,365 --> 01:29:20,352 Look. Look at him. 1062 01:29:20,401 --> 01:29:23,494 Look what's become of the Toxic Avenger. 1063 01:29:23,868 --> 01:29:26,954 He's back to the sniveling mop boy 1064 01:29:27,098 --> 01:29:29,621 you all made fun of. 1065 01:29:29,717 --> 01:29:32,845 Where's that braille version of the contract Toxie made for me? 1066 01:29:33,036 --> 01:29:35,199 If I could just find that contract, 1067 01:29:35,559 --> 01:29:37,473 then we could clean up this mess. 1068 01:29:40,478 --> 01:29:41,498 That's it. 1069 01:29:54,325 --> 01:29:58,441 Aw, look. Isn't he ready for destruction? 1070 01:29:58,515 --> 01:30:04,260 Aren't you tired of this pink tutu'd pansy? 1071 01:30:11,079 --> 01:30:13,386 We're tired of you, Mr. Chairman! 1072 01:30:15,366 --> 01:30:19,877 And ve're tired of vat you're company is doing to our Tromaville! 1073 01:30:19,880 --> 01:30:22,462 We're tired of ground water pollution. 1074 01:30:23,038 --> 01:30:24,525 And your sludge. 1075 01:30:25,226 --> 01:30:27,067 And the PCBs! 1076 01:30:27,397 --> 01:30:29,799 We're tired of your filthy lawyers and accountants 1077 01:30:29,802 --> 01:30:33,151 and we're fed up with your perverted investment bankers. 1078 01:30:33,713 --> 01:30:36,848 The Toxic Avenger has always played fair with us. 1079 01:30:37,093 --> 01:30:40,301 And he's the only toxic waste we need around here. 1080 01:30:40,407 --> 01:30:43,473 If you want him, you've got to go through us. 1081 01:30:46,322 --> 01:30:49,541 This town has never had it so good. 1082 01:30:49,783 --> 01:30:54,316 I order you to go back to your hovels 1083 01:30:54,455 --> 01:30:56,340 and jump in your beds. 1084 01:30:57,176 --> 01:31:00,582 I just might be willing to forget all this 1085 01:31:01,275 --> 01:31:04,450 and let you show up for work tomorrow. 1086 01:31:04,563 --> 01:31:06,502 Please let us through. 1087 01:31:06,552 --> 01:31:08,538 Claire has found a way out of the contract. 1088 01:31:08,679 --> 01:31:12,238 Excuse me. Excuse me. She's found an escape clause. 1089 01:31:12,440 --> 01:31:13,907 Please let me through. 1090 01:31:16,416 --> 01:31:18,148 Claire has found a way out. 1091 01:31:18,512 --> 01:31:20,912 Oh, oh my God. There's an escape clause. 1092 01:31:21,570 --> 01:31:24,244 You, you tell them about it. 1093 01:31:25,368 --> 01:31:26,713 It's very important. 1094 01:31:26,912 --> 01:31:29,065 The force majeure states: 1095 01:31:29,401 --> 01:31:33,034 "Clause Eleven: Termination. 1096 01:31:33,859 --> 01:31:35,562 "The employee's obligations hereunder 1097 01:31:35,565 --> 01:31:38,618 "shall remain in full force and effect for all enternity. 1098 01:31:39,067 --> 01:31:42,038 "However, said obligations shall be terminated, 1099 01:31:42,329 --> 01:31:46,426 "and this agreement shall be rendered immediately null and void, 1100 01:31:46,485 --> 01:31:48,914 upon a miraculous act of God." 1101 01:31:49,033 --> 01:31:52,356 And God is in the hearts of the people. 1102 01:31:53,412 --> 01:31:56,299 It's an escape clause. It's an escape clause! 1103 01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,060 What about this? 1104 01:31:58,064 --> 01:32:00,938 It's an escape clause, see? What about that, huh? 1105 01:32:03,325 --> 01:32:05,782 So where is He? 1106 01:32:05,989 --> 01:32:08,364 On vacation in the Grand Bahamas? 1107 01:32:09,174 --> 01:32:12,883 I don't see Him around protecting His interests. 1108 01:32:13,493 --> 01:32:17,516 I'm the only one interested in this dirty little town. 1109 01:32:17,622 --> 01:32:21,915 And you're yesterday's waste, pal. 1110 01:32:25,960 --> 01:32:27,312 Excuse me, excuse me. 1111 01:32:27,366 --> 01:32:28,905 Message for Mr. Junko. 1112 01:32:29,705 --> 01:32:31,198 I have a message for Mr. Junko. 1113 01:32:31,523 --> 01:32:33,690 Urgent message for Mr. Melvin Junko. 1114 01:32:33,767 --> 01:32:36,179 Can't you see we're busy here? 1115 01:32:37,259 --> 01:32:38,986 I think this takes priority. 1116 01:32:39,412 --> 01:32:42,287 No one takes priority over me. 1117 01:32:42,778 --> 01:32:44,747 Oh? 1118 01:32:46,451 --> 01:32:49,660 Ahum, ahum, ahum. 1119 01:32:51,228 --> 01:32:53,985 Um, maybe one. 1120 01:32:58,794 --> 01:33:00,921 Let's get the hell outta here. 1121 01:33:06,083 --> 01:33:09,814 Cheese it, it's the big guy. Let's get out of here. 1122 01:33:13,579 --> 01:33:15,040 Claire. Claire. 1123 01:33:15,243 --> 01:33:18,625 Madonna mia. Gott in himmel. Was ist das? 1124 01:33:18,898 --> 01:33:20,790 It's raining. 1125 01:33:21,612 --> 01:33:22,641 It's wonderful. 1126 01:33:22,947 --> 01:33:24,988 It feels tingly on my body. 1127 01:33:25,013 --> 01:33:26,629 It's nectar from God. 1128 01:33:27,647 --> 01:33:29,373 It's some healing liquid. 1129 01:33:30,260 --> 01:33:33,948 Oh, it's sweet, it's sour, it's warm. 1130 01:33:34,612 --> 01:33:35,994 What's happening little Melvin? 1131 01:33:36,019 --> 01:33:38,883 What's happening? What's happening? What's happening? 1132 01:33:40,354 --> 01:33:42,164 Melvin, what, what... oh! 1133 01:33:46,043 --> 01:33:47,251 Beautiful Melvin. 1134 01:33:47,922 --> 01:33:49,661 Oh, Melvin you're back. 1135 01:33:49,797 --> 01:33:51,538 You're back Melvin, oh! 1136 01:33:53,612 --> 01:33:55,597 There's my son. 1137 01:34:05,679 --> 01:34:08,648 I can see. I can see. 1138 01:34:10,978 --> 01:34:14,613 I am back. But now I feel like kickin' some devil ass. 1139 01:34:15,278 --> 01:34:17,078 This has gone on long enough, Devil. 1140 01:34:17,153 --> 01:34:21,386 I think it's about time that somebody put the fear of God in you. 1141 01:34:22,055 --> 01:34:26,278 Be reasonable. Think of what you're giving up, Melvin. 1142 01:34:26,419 --> 01:34:28,703 That's Mr. Melvin to you! 1143 01:35:16,611 --> 01:35:18,446 Oy Gevalt ! 1144 01:35:32,685 --> 01:35:35,792 Oh! This is more disgusting than General Hospital. 1145 01:36:02,337 --> 01:36:03,604 (speaking Japanese) 1146 01:36:47,201 --> 01:36:48,489 Are you okay? 1147 01:36:48,812 --> 01:36:50,570 Up you go reverend. 1148 01:37:02,886 --> 01:37:03,918 Gee whiz! 1149 01:37:04,315 --> 01:37:06,226 I've only had my eyes a short time 1150 01:37:06,334 --> 01:37:08,075 and already I've seen everything. 1151 01:37:16,459 --> 01:37:17,962 I do. 1152 01:37:18,145 --> 01:37:20,500 Then I now pronounce you man... 1153 01:37:21,582 --> 01:37:24,819 uh, monster and wife. 1154 01:37:25,284 --> 01:37:27,245 You may now kiss the bride. 1155 01:37:40,945 --> 01:37:43,914 Oh, my baby boy. 1156 01:37:45,488 --> 01:37:46,488 Oooo. 1157 01:38:04,130 --> 01:38:05,318 Thank you. 1158 01:38:05,827 --> 01:38:07,862 I'm so delighted. Thank you. 1159 01:38:09,506 --> 01:38:12,463 So me and Mommy... and Claire 1160 01:38:12,915 --> 01:38:15,642 walked off into that toxic sunset.84802

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