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♪ The end of the
Civil War Was near ♪
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00:00:05,723 --> 00:00:08,918
♪ When quite accidentally ♪
3
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,321
♪ A hero who sneezed
Abruptly seized ♪
4
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,362
♪ Retreat And
reversed it to victory ♪
5
00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:19,146
♪ His Medal of Honor
Pleased and thrilled ♪
6
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,090
♪ His proud little
Family group ♪
7
00:00:22,139 --> 00:00:24,601
♪ While pinning it on
Some blood was spilled ♪
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00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,136
♪ And so it was
planned He'd command ♪
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00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,672
♪ F Troop! ♪
10
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,675
♪ Where Indian fights
Are colorful sights ♪
11
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,677
♪ And nobody takes a lickin' ♪
12
00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:36,980
♪ Where paleface and redskin ♪
13
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:39,649
♪ Both turn chicken ♪
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00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,685
♪ When drilling and
fighting Get them down ♪
15
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,487
♪ They know their
morale Can't droop ♪
16
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,306
♪ As long as they
all Relax in town ♪
17
00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:50,877
♪ Before they resume
With a bang and a boom ♪
18
00:00:50,901 --> 00:00:52,717
♪ F Troop! ♪
19
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Two, three, four...
Column left... march!
20
00:01:23,433 --> 00:01:24,733
Look alive.
21
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Hup!
22
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Right front end of line. Ho!
23
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One pace forward.
24
00:01:33,744 --> 00:01:34,976
Ho!
25
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:37,557
Knucklehead.
26
00:01:37,581 --> 00:01:38,592
Back in line!
27
00:01:38,616 --> 00:01:39,593
Where is it?
28
00:01:39,617 --> 00:01:41,127
Over there.
29
00:01:41,151 --> 00:01:42,529
All right, at ease.
30
00:01:42,553 --> 00:01:43,663
All right, men.
31
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,797
Now, this morning,
32
00:01:44,821 --> 00:01:46,616
the new medical
officer in the territory
33
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,502
is going to give us
our annual physicals.
34
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:49,803
And not a moment too soon, sir.
35
00:01:49,827 --> 00:01:51,671
Oh, there's nothing
wrong with you, Agarn.
36
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:52,706
It's all in your head.
37
00:01:52,730 --> 00:01:54,173
If you haven't
been feeling well,
38
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,709
be sure and tell
that to the doctor.
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00:01:55,733 --> 00:01:58,100
I've got it all written
down on this list.
40
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:00,514
Cold chills.
41
00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:01,915
Hot chills. Lukewarm chills.
42
00:02:01,939 --> 00:02:04,217
You've got everything on
there but the black plague.
43
00:02:04,241 --> 00:02:05,619
Keep reading.
44
00:02:05,643 --> 00:02:06,820
Hoof-in-mouth disease?
45
00:02:06,844 --> 00:02:08,054
Yes, sir.
46
00:02:08,078 --> 00:02:09,923
Last week, my horse
put his hoof in my mouth.
47
00:02:09,947 --> 00:02:11,424
If he's got all that
wrong with him,
48
00:02:11,448 --> 00:02:13,226
we don't have to
bother with a doctor, sir.
49
00:02:13,250 --> 00:02:14,427
We can just wrap him in a flag
50
00:02:14,451 --> 00:02:16,029
and give him a military funeral.
51
00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:17,430
You're in luck, Corporal Agarn.
52
00:02:17,454 --> 00:02:19,733
I just learned
how to play "Taps."
53
00:02:19,757 --> 00:02:21,634
I guess I'd be laughing
and making jokes too,
54
00:02:21,658 --> 00:02:23,703
if it wasn't so
close to the end.
55
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:24,904
Oh, now, corporal,
56
00:02:24,928 --> 00:02:26,773
I'm sure the doctor
is going to find you
57
00:02:26,797 --> 00:02:28,875
in the same perfect
health that I'm in.
58
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,076
Let's go.
59
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,533
Ooh!
60
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,564
Are you all right, captain?
61
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,765
Yes, I'm fine. I'm fine.
62
00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,934
I just have a little
pain in my knee.
63
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,536
I've got that on
my list too, captain.
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00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,571
It's right between
appendicitis and gout.
65
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:42,755
Now.
66
00:02:42,779 --> 00:02:45,091
All right, fall out to the
barracks for inspection.
67
00:02:49,219 --> 00:02:51,097
All right, here we go.
68
00:02:53,791 --> 00:02:55,885
Line up. Have a
little order here.
69
00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,470
Good morning,
Lieutenant Anderson.
70
00:02:57,494 --> 00:02:58,471
Ah. Ow.
71
00:02:58,495 --> 00:02:59,773
That's all right,
72
00:02:59,797 --> 00:03:01,241
I always do that
with my quill pen.
73
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,341
Ah-ah!
74
00:03:02,365 --> 00:03:04,077
Wait your turn, Agarn.
75
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,812
Sarge! Don't you
think he ought to take
76
00:03:05,836 --> 00:03:07,180
the more serious cases first?
77
00:03:07,204 --> 00:03:09,249
The captain is
the ranking officer,
78
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,168
and he gets the
first examination.
79
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:13,512
Any time you're ready, doctor.
80
00:03:14,478 --> 00:03:16,356
I... I say. Uh...
81
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:18,940
Any time you're ready, doctor.
82
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,960
Any time you're ready, doctor!
83
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,513
Oh, uh... I'm sorry, sir.
84
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,148
I'm... I'm not used to
being called "doctor."
85
00:03:26,172 --> 00:03:28,852
You see, I just graduated
from medical school.
86
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:29,853
When?
87
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,687
Last week. I'm leaving.
88
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,289
If you don't pull
yourself together,
89
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,713
he'd better have
a cure for a fat lip.
90
00:03:36,333 --> 00:03:38,210
Uh, w-would you
please take your shirt off.
91
00:03:38,234 --> 00:03:39,514
Oh, yeah.
92
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,420
Hm.
93
00:03:51,181 --> 00:03:53,359
I have some very bad
news for you, captain.
94
00:03:53,383 --> 00:03:54,560
Oh? What is it?
95
00:03:54,584 --> 00:03:55,795
Your heart's stopped.
96
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:56,862
It has?
97
00:03:56,886 --> 00:03:58,365
All right, lieutenant.
98
00:03:58,389 --> 00:04:00,867
Uh, the captain here may
just be one of those rare people
99
00:04:00,891 --> 00:04:03,508
whose heart is on the left side.
100
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,139
Oh, uh, yeah.
101
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,091
Yes, of course. Uh,
thank you, sergeant.
102
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,926
Begging the lieutenant's pardon,
103
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,678
I demand to see your diploma.
104
00:04:11,702 --> 00:04:13,763
He's only kidding, lieutenant.
105
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:16,432
You're certainly in good
physical condition, captain.
106
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:17,433
Oh, well, thank you.
107
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,568
Thank you, doctor.
108
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,336
Here, Vanderbilt,
you'd better go next
109
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,871
and have your eyes checked.
110
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,027
Thank you, sarge.
111
00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,044
Uh, you see what I mean?
112
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:30,247
What kind of duty
does this man have?
113
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,865
He's our lookout.
114
00:04:31,889 --> 00:04:32,999
And we want to make sure
115
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,543
he's got the right
kind of glasses.
116
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,538
Uh, would you please read
117
00:04:38,562 --> 00:04:40,195
the top line of the chart?
118
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:52,201
U... S... A... R... M... Y.
119
00:04:52,776 --> 00:04:56,945
U, S, A, R, M, Y?
120
00:05:01,752 --> 00:05:03,947
You're reading my belt buckle.
121
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:04,981
How did I do?
122
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:08,034
Very good,
Vanderbilt. Very good.
123
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,090
Wilton...
124
00:05:10,193 --> 00:05:11,203
I got a letter for you.
125
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,505
Oh. Jane.
126
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:13,873
Jane, you shouldn't be in here.
127
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,441
But this is from the
War Department,
128
00:05:15,465 --> 00:05:16,475
marked "urgent."
129
00:05:16,499 --> 00:05:18,078
Jane, this is a
little embarrassing.
130
00:05:18,102 --> 00:05:20,246
Captain. I think you'd
better read the letter.
131
00:05:20,270 --> 00:05:21,469
Oh.
132
00:05:25,341 --> 00:05:26,607
Let's see.
133
00:05:28,329 --> 00:05:29,756
What's up?
134
00:05:29,780 --> 00:05:31,808
The famous Mexican
bandit, El Diablo,
135
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,426
was reported
seen in the territory.
136
00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:35,850
Yeah, here's his picture.
137
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,232
Oh, no!
138
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,101
What's the matter, corporal?
139
00:05:41,125 --> 00:05:42,907
Do you know what El
Diablo's real name is?
140
00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:44,738
Agarnado.
141
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,072
Agarnado?
142
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,306
So what?
143
00:05:47,330 --> 00:05:49,965
El Diablo is my cousin!
144
00:05:55,739 --> 00:06:00,352
Señor El Diablo. Yo, gringo.
145
00:06:00,376 --> 00:06:02,889
Usted, bandido.
146
00:06:02,913 --> 00:06:05,279
Usted under arresto!
147
00:06:06,483 --> 00:06:07,460
Captain Parmenter.
148
00:06:07,484 --> 00:06:08,761
"Uno" momento.
149
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,297
That's Spanish for "one moment."
150
00:06:11,321 --> 00:06:12,882
That's what we
come to talk about.
151
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,184
Oh, you want to study Spanish?
152
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,418
No, sir.
153
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,187
I want the captain's
permission to go out
154
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,788
and capture my
cousin, El Diablo.
155
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:19,889
The dirty rat.
156
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,090
Oh, no. No, no, no.
157
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:22,859
"El diablo" means "the devil."
158
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,695
"Dirty rat" is, uh...
159
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,497
No, what he means is
that he wants to go out
160
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:30,099
and capture El
Diablo single-handed.
161
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,267
Oh, no, no.
162
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,952
I couldn't let you
do that, corporal.
163
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,353
Oh, sir, you don't understand.
164
00:06:34,377 --> 00:06:36,072
I've gotta clear
the family name.
165
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,340
Well, now, I certainly
understand your family pride,
166
00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:40,476
but it's much too dangerous
for you to go alone.
167
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:41,978
Oh, sir, I'm not afraid.
168
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,447
As long as I know El
Diablo's in the territory,
169
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:45,799
I won't sleep at night.
170
00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:48,734
Ah, well you take a nap
every afternoon anyway.
171
00:06:48,758 --> 00:06:50,804
I-I just don't think you
could capture a bandit
172
00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:52,605
like El Diablo single-handed.
173
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,774
Oh, don't you
worry about that, sir.
174
00:06:54,798 --> 00:06:56,943
He's probably hiding
out with his bandits.
175
00:06:56,967 --> 00:06:58,544
In the hills, in one
of those caves.
176
00:06:58,568 --> 00:07:00,046
They like caves, you know.
177
00:07:00,070 --> 00:07:01,514
And I'll walk in,
178
00:07:01,538 --> 00:07:02,782
go right up to him and say,
179
00:07:02,806 --> 00:07:05,418
"El Diablo, you're in America,
180
00:07:05,442 --> 00:07:09,222
and I arrest you in the name
of the United States Army."
181
00:07:09,246 --> 00:07:11,090
When you get to Mexico,
let us hear from you.
182
00:07:11,114 --> 00:07:12,525
Even if it's only a postcard.
183
00:07:12,549 --> 00:07:14,593
But wouldn't your
relatives be upset with you
184
00:07:14,617 --> 00:07:16,529
if you turned in your
own flesh and blood?
185
00:07:16,553 --> 00:07:18,331
None of the family
ever liked him, sir.
186
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,099
Take Granny Agarn in Passaic.
187
00:07:20,123 --> 00:07:21,818
If you could ask
Granny Agarn in Passaic
188
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,987
what she thought
about cousin, she'd say,
189
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,923
I always said Pancho Agarnado
190
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:30,009
would never amount
to a hill of beans...
191
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:34,435
which he kept eatin' all
over my living room rug.
192
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:39,052
Then you could ask my uncle,
Gaylord Agarn, in Tallahassee.
193
00:07:39,076 --> 00:07:43,389
I tell you, sir. My nephew,
Pancho Agarnado,
194
00:07:43,413 --> 00:07:46,948
is the boll weevil in the
Agarn family cotton bush.
195
00:07:49,253 --> 00:07:51,781
You could even ask
his own sister about him.
196
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,104
My cousin, Carmen.
197
00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:57,487
Poncho is a desgraciado...
198
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,135
Don't bother, captain.
199
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,704
You won't find
those words in there.
200
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:15,838
Now, look, Agarn,
201
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,439
we all know how
your family feels.
202
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:18,774
But the captain is right.
203
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,677
You can't go after him alone.
204
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:23,312
Captain, for the
last time, I ask you:
205
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,454
Let me clear the name of
Agarn from Passaic to Chihuahua.
206
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,519
All right, Agarn. You can go.
207
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:32,622
Captain... But with
the men of F Troop.
208
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,590
But then Sergeant
O'Rourke will be in charge.
209
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:35,608
No, no, no.
210
00:08:35,632 --> 00:08:36,842
Sergeant O'Rourke and I
211
00:08:36,866 --> 00:08:38,744
will stay behind with
Dobbs to hold the fort,
212
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,030
and you can take the
troop and capture El Diablo.
213
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,031
Thank you, sir.
214
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,499
Thank you for
giving me the chance
215
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,443
to clear the family
name of Agarn.
216
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,380
Stop already with the shooting!
217
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,215
This not New Year's Eve.
218
00:09:01,658 --> 00:09:03,636
Chief Wild Eagle,
them not celebrating.
219
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,226
They from south of the border.
220
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:07,940
Down Mexico way?
221
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,074
Bandits.
222
00:09:09,098 --> 00:09:10,298
Bandits.
223
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,034
Who is the chief of this tribe?
224
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,285
He is. He is.
225
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:21,921
El Diablo did not ride all
the way from Chihuahua
226
00:09:21,945 --> 00:09:23,623
for kidding around.
227
00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:24,690
El Diablo?
228
00:09:24,714 --> 00:09:26,426
The famous Mexican bandit
229
00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:28,994
who robs banks,
stagecoaches, gold trains,
230
00:09:29,018 --> 00:09:31,548
and who has a $10,000
reward on his head?
231
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,099
I see you have heard of me.
232
00:09:33,123 --> 00:09:34,500
No.
233
00:09:34,524 --> 00:09:36,469
You've come to rob our village?
234
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,355
El Diablo does not rob the poor.
235
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:41,157
Shake hands with the chief.
236
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,725
Con mucho gusto, jefe.
237
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:46,479
Chief, him have
very familiar face.
238
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:47,518
You right.
239
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,984
Where I seen you before?
240
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,585
Must be in the post office.
241
00:09:52,609 --> 00:09:53,987
I hate those pictures.
242
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:57,256
Bandits always look ten pounds
heavier on reward posters.
243
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,126
Agarn!
244
00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:01,995
Agarn? Corporal in F Troop
245
00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,129
look exactly like you.
246
00:10:03,153 --> 00:10:04,330
Same size, same color eyes,
247
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,138
same nose, very stupid.
248
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,168
He is my cousin.
249
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,887
Smartest soldier at the fort.
250
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,654
Which way is it to Fort Courage?
251
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:14,123
Go back same trail you came.
252
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,792
Make right turn at big
rock that look like bear.
253
00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:19,996
Then make left turn at
big bear that look like rock.
254
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,649
El Diablo will find it.
255
00:10:22,673 --> 00:10:25,584
You going to visit your
cousin Agarn at the fort?
256
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:28,354
Sí. And then I rob the bank.
257
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,489
Rob the bank?
258
00:10:29,513 --> 00:10:31,423
Sí. I want to show my cousin
259
00:10:31,447 --> 00:10:34,494
that I am not the failure that
my family thought I would be.
260
00:10:34,518 --> 00:10:36,762
He can then write a
letter to my grandmother
261
00:10:36,786 --> 00:10:38,698
so she'll shut up
about the beans.
262
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:41,534
And that goes for my
cotton-picking Uncle Gaylord
263
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,252
and that loco sister of mine,
264
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,876
with the rose in her teeth.
265
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,928
Vámonos, muchachos!
266
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,785
We go to rob the bank!
267
00:10:59,042 --> 00:11:00,853
Just my luck.
268
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:03,397
I'm in business with
the wrong cousin.
269
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:13,966
Well, boss,
270
00:11:13,990 --> 00:11:15,935
nice seein' somebody
in the saloon today.
271
00:11:15,959 --> 00:11:17,537
Even if you're not
a paying customer.
272
00:11:17,561 --> 00:11:20,039
Yeah, we're not gonna have
any payin' customers around here
273
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:21,040
for a couple of days.
274
00:11:21,064 --> 00:11:22,842
F Troop is out on an assignment.
275
00:11:22,866 --> 00:11:23,910
What's the matter?
276
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,144
The Hekawis are on a warpath?
277
00:11:25,168 --> 00:11:26,245
Are you kiddin'?
278
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,847
Wild Eagle has to
send out a draft call
279
00:11:27,871 --> 00:11:30,016
to get enough braves
for a rabbit hunt.
280
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,517
Some other tribe
causin' trouble?
281
00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:33,019
Nah, there's a
rumor going around
282
00:11:33,043 --> 00:11:35,888
that one of them Mexican
bandits is in the territory.
283
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,157
Not El Diablo?
284
00:11:38,181 --> 00:11:39,825
Yeah, that's the guy. El Diablo.
285
00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:42,562
Where you going?
286
00:11:42,586 --> 00:11:44,096
I won't know till I get there.
287
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,097
Wait a minute.
288
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,899
You can't walk out on me
289
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,267
and leave the saloon like this.
290
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,569
Get El Diablo.
291
00:11:49,593 --> 00:11:51,759
I'm sure he makes
a great margarita.
292
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,193
What's the matter
with him, sergeant?
293
00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,463
Well, he heard El Diablo
was comin', and he panicked.
294
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:01,664
Well, he's not the only one.
295
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:03,098
Once the rumor got around,
296
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:05,801
folks got out of town faster
than hogs going to a mudhole.
297
00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:07,124
See for yourself, sergeant.
298
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,847
I don't believe it.
299
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,149
Do you mean to tell me
that everybody left town
300
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,017
just because they
heard Diablo was comin'?
301
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:23,085
No.
302
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,653
They also heard
that Corporal Agarn
303
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:25,855
was sent out to capture him.
304
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,223
I think from now on, we'd better
305
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,523
keep our orders top-secret.
306
00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:30,326
They've practically
turned Fort Courage
307
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,394
into a ghost town.
308
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,695
Ah, this don't make any sense.
309
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,096
Why would a
bandit like El Diablo
310
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,648
wanna rob a bank in a poor town
311
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:36,782
like Fort Courage?
312
00:12:36,806 --> 00:12:39,307
I need the practice, señor.
313
00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:41,620
Ah. Now... Now, you...
314
00:12:41,644 --> 00:12:43,722
You stand right where you are.
315
00:12:43,746 --> 00:12:46,591
Uh, Señor El Diablo.
316
00:12:46,615 --> 00:12:48,994
Yo es gringo.
317
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,247
Usted es bandits.
318
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:55,523
Uh, usted es under arresto.
319
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,807
Uh, well... let me
put it another way.
320
00:13:01,831 --> 00:13:03,909
You don't have to take
that from him, Wilton.
321
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,711
Go ahead. Tell him
what you were gonna say.
322
00:13:05,735 --> 00:13:06,712
Well, I...
323
00:13:06,736 --> 00:13:08,180
I can't say what I
was going to say.
324
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,733
I have a hole in my
verb conjugations.
325
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,636
You're lucky you don't get
a hole in the head, captain.
326
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,003
Take their guns.
327
00:13:15,027 --> 00:13:16,067
All right.
328
00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:20,792
This one is mine.
329
00:13:20,816 --> 00:13:22,411
My name is Felipe.
330
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:23,529
Felipe.
331
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,331
Here, now. EL DIABLO: Felipe!
332
00:13:25,355 --> 00:13:27,555
You stop that, or
I tell your mother!
333
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,686
I tell ya, I don't believe it.
334
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,205
Spittin' image of Agarn.
335
00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:34,289
Same face, same color eyes,
336
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,292
same nose, same stu... Mm.
337
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:37,899
Same intelligent look.
338
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:41,597
Captain, where is my cousin?
339
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,933
Well, he... He's out on
an assignment right now.
340
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:47,536
As a matter of fact, he's
out lookin' for you. Uh...
341
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,038
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The minute he heard
342
00:13:49,062 --> 00:13:50,406
that you were in the territory,
343
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,606
he wanted to have, like, a...
344
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:52,608
A family reunion.
345
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:53,609
In that case,
346
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,712
make yourself
comfortable, my friends.
347
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,848
El Diablo will wait for
his cousin to return.
348
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:02,251
Oh, no. He may
not be back for days.
349
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,588
El Diablo is in no
hurry to leave, señor.
350
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,657
You mean you're gonna
keep us prisoners here?
351
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:10,092
No, señorita.
352
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:12,294
You are going to be my guests.
353
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:15,298
There is plenty of
food, plenty of whiskey.
354
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:18,301
We are going to
have a... A fiesta.
355
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,052
That means "party" in Spanish.
356
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:22,888
Now, look, amigo... Oh!
357
00:14:22,912 --> 00:14:24,023
You speak Spanish.
358
00:14:25,048 --> 00:14:26,158
Felipe, some music.
359
00:14:26,182 --> 00:14:29,095
Pedro, you come back
here and be the bartender.
360
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:32,052
He makes a terrific margarita.
361
00:14:32,722 --> 00:14:34,183
Any request?
362
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,518
Felipe!
363
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,785
Sí, sí, jefe.
364
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:37,869
Now, wait a minute.
365
00:14:37,893 --> 00:14:39,488
You don't want no
party in this place.
366
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:40,489
Why not?
367
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:41,657
Well, the food is terrible,
368
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:42,975
and the whiskey will kill you.
369
00:14:42,999 --> 00:14:45,343
Señor, you are looking at a man
370
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:47,245
who drinks straight cactus juice
371
00:14:47,269 --> 00:14:50,082
while it's still in the cactus.
372
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:52,051
Bartender, I'll have
one of them margaritas,
373
00:14:52,075 --> 00:14:53,169
whatever that is.
374
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,153
No, you won't.
375
00:14:54,177 --> 00:14:55,421
But, Sarge, this is a fiesta.
376
00:14:55,445 --> 00:14:56,706
That's "party" in Spanish.
377
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,090
Well, you're still on duty.
378
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,257
Give the boy a drink!
379
00:14:59,281 --> 00:15:01,043
Give everybody a drink!
380
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,711
I'll have a sarsaparilla.
381
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,735
Make that two.
382
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,570
Bring it over to them, please.
383
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:11,587
You... like the music, captain?
384
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:12,654
Oh, yes.
385
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,278
Yes, he's a very
good guitar player.
386
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:17,960
Uh... hey.
387
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,128
Dobbs, why don't you, uh...
388
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,363
Why don't you join him.
389
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,364
Make it a real party.
390
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,366
Now you're talking, sergeant.
391
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:26,903
For a minute I thought you
were going to be a fiesta-pooper.
392
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,404
I can't play that Mexican music.
393
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,274
Why, sure you can.
394
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,942
And when you get in a chance,
395
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,343
put out a call to the troops.
396
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,807
They might be back at the fort.
397
00:15:36,836 --> 00:15:37,797
Well, now,
398
00:15:37,821 --> 00:15:39,799
this is what I
call a real party.
399
00:15:39,823 --> 00:15:42,263
Any time you're
ready, Mr. "Fillippi."
400
00:16:01,143 --> 00:16:02,388
One more trick like that,
401
00:16:02,412 --> 00:16:04,857
and he will be
blowing "Taps" for you.
402
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:07,360
Now, the sergeant was
merely doing his duty.
403
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:09,946
As captured American soldiers,
we must attempt to escape.
404
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:10,970
Is that so?
405
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,839
The captain is
very light on his feet.
406
00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:18,254
Dance with the señorita.
407
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:19,955
I will not.
408
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,757
Please, Wilton. It
ain't gonna hurt none.
409
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:22,758
No, Jane.
410
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:23,825
Come on, Wilton, please.
411
00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:26,012
I won't dance, don't ask me.
412
00:16:26,036 --> 00:16:28,631
You better do as El Diablo say.
413
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,099
It's illegal to
dance in this town
414
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,133
till after 6:00.
415
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,185
I will gladly dance
with the señorita.
416
00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:34,608
Felipe.
417
00:16:36,612 --> 00:16:39,052
You'd better do
like he says, captain.
418
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:45,948
Come one, Wilton.
419
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,015
Come on.
420
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,484
It ain't gonna hurt anything.
421
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,508
Come on.
422
00:16:59,402 --> 00:17:00,701
Olé!
423
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:04,939
I didn't know I could do that.
424
00:17:14,651 --> 00:17:15,850
Ooh.
425
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,934
♪ La-la-la, La-la-la
Ya-ya-ya-ya ♪
426
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,274
♪ Ya-ya-ya ya-ya ♪
427
00:17:35,938 --> 00:17:38,083
♪ La-la-la-la-la La-la-la ♪
428
00:17:38,107 --> 00:17:39,184
♪ La-yaa ♪
429
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:40,419
♪ Ya-ya-ya ♪
430
00:17:40,443 --> 00:17:42,955
All right. You're all
under arrest for mutiny.
431
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,222
This is no mutiny, Agarn.
432
00:17:44,246 --> 00:17:45,758
We just wanna go home.
433
00:17:48,918 --> 00:17:51,313
And you're gonna be
court-martialed, Hoffenmueller.
434
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:52,765
As soon as I find
out what you said.
435
00:17:52,789 --> 00:17:54,666
This whole thing is
a wild goose chase.
436
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:56,969
We don't even know what
this El Diablo looks like.
437
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,187
Didn't you see the picture?
438
00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,271
What picture?
439
00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:00,438
Well, he looks just like me.
440
00:18:00,462 --> 00:18:02,558
Same size, same
color eyes, same nose.
441
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,809
Same stupid look.
442
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,010
All right, Duffy, that's it.
443
00:18:05,034 --> 00:18:06,862
I want volunteers
for a firing squad.
444
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:07,863
Don't bother.
445
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,186
You forgot the ammunition.
446
00:18:13,058 --> 00:18:14,653
All right, men. Chow call.
447
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,405
You forgot to
bring the food too.
448
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,706
Now, don't panic, men.
449
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,308
We'll be able to
get something to eat
450
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,910
just as soon as I
find out where we are.
451
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,494
Why don't you look
at the map, Agarn?
452
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:26,966
I put that in with the
food and the ammunition.
453
00:18:26,990 --> 00:18:28,667
You realize that's
the fourth sandwich
454
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,535
and the third beer that
you've had already?
455
00:18:30,559 --> 00:18:32,438
Mr. "Die-ablo" said we
should eat and drink.
456
00:18:32,462 --> 00:18:33,706
I just want to make him happy.
457
00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:34,840
Did you ever stop to think
458
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,425
that while you're
making him happy,
459
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,842
you're breaki" my heart.
460
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:40,161
Why is it breaking
your heart, sergeant?
461
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,730
I was just thinking
about poor Pete.
462
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,298
I mean, we're
eati" and drinkin' up
463
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,683
all of his profits.
464
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:47,519
And there's a man with a
big family to support, and...
465
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,522
Well, you can't expect
us to pay for this.
466
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:50,890
No, no, no. Wait a minute, Jane.
467
00:18:50,914 --> 00:18:52,408
I agree with Sergeant O'Rourke.
468
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,872
I knew you'd see it my way, sir.
469
00:18:55,618 --> 00:18:56,996
El Diablo.
470
00:18:57,020 --> 00:18:59,340
We've all decided that
the meal should be paid for.
471
00:19:00,923 --> 00:19:02,451
Pay for the meal?
472
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,170
Separate checks, of course.
473
00:19:04,194 --> 00:19:06,038
Uh, Felipe, you had
the ham and cheese.
474
00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:07,039
No, no, no.
475
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,674
I have the liverwurst.
476
00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:11,377
Oh, that's right. Pedro, you had
the ham and cheese. That's it.
477
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,612
And, uh, El Diablo,
you had the roast beef,
478
00:19:13,636 --> 00:19:14,713
heavy on the mustard.
479
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,257
Now, let's see,
without the tip...
480
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,500
El Diablo did not ride
481
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:21,387
all the way from
Chihuahua just to kid around.
482
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:22,954
Uh, robbing a bank is one thing,
483
00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:25,391
but taking money away
from a poor saloon keeper,
484
00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:26,425
that's terrible.
485
00:19:26,449 --> 00:19:28,226
El Diablo does not rob the poor.
486
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:31,129
El Diablo rob the rich
and give to the poor.
487
00:19:31,153 --> 00:19:33,186
El Diablo's what you call, um...
488
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:35,618
Little Red Riding Hood.
489
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,375
No. That's "Robin Hood."
490
00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:39,437
That's what I am.
491
00:19:39,461 --> 00:19:41,157
Little Red Robin Hood.
492
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:42,324
Captain, uh...
493
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:44,226
There's no sense to
break up a nice party
494
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,227
over a little check.
495
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:46,695
Why don't you
teach me that dance?
496
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,264
No, no, really,
sergeant. I think...
497
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:49,365
Now, captain.
498
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,167
I always did wanna
learn one of them, uh...
499
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,591
Mexican dances.
500
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,755
Felipe, música para los gringos.
501
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,640
I'm really not very
good at this, sergeant.
502
00:19:58,664 --> 00:19:59,875
It's a decoy.
503
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,379
No, it's not a decoy.
It's flamenco. Sh!
504
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,664
What we'll do is
we'll dance over.
505
00:20:05,688 --> 00:20:07,532
And when I give the
signal, we rush 'em.
506
00:20:07,556 --> 00:20:09,200
Okay.
507
00:20:09,224 --> 00:20:10,502
Well, how does it go, captain?
508
00:20:10,526 --> 00:20:11,654
All right.
509
00:20:26,709 --> 00:20:29,221
Again, you are trying
with the funny business.
510
00:20:29,245 --> 00:20:30,889
We weren't trying
any funny business.
511
00:20:30,913 --> 00:20:31,890
It's just that we never
512
00:20:31,914 --> 00:20:33,542
danced together before.
513
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,911
You cannot make
a fool of Diablo.
514
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,596
The fiesta is over.
515
00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:40,020
Stand up against the wall.
516
00:20:41,958 --> 00:20:44,558
Put your hands up
and stay where you are!
517
00:20:46,695 --> 00:20:48,407
Where are the other soldiers?
518
00:20:48,431 --> 00:20:49,774
I don't know.
519
00:20:49,798 --> 00:20:51,944
I was looking for them myself.
520
00:20:51,968 --> 00:20:53,711
What are you doing
here, lieutenant?
521
00:20:53,735 --> 00:20:56,232
I just came over to show
Corporal Agarn my diploma
522
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,966
from medical school.
523
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,235
You're a doctor?
524
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,069
That's right. He's
our medical officer.
525
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,471
And he doesn't even have a gun.
526
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:03,906
I demand you let him go.
527
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:04,940
Never.
528
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,497
An Agarnado never
lets a doctor go.
529
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:09,995
I think I have a fever.
530
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:12,097
It's uncanny.
531
00:21:12,121 --> 00:21:15,000
You look just like
Corporal Agarn.
532
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,134
He's my cousin.
533
00:21:16,158 --> 00:21:18,087
It's amazing.
534
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:22,491
Same size, same
color eyes, same nose.
535
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:25,916
Same pale look on his face.
536
00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:29,598
I'll bet he's even
got cold chills.
537
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,500
Sí, sí. Cold chills.
538
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:32,901
Hot chills?
539
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:34,903
Sí, sí. Hot chills.
540
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:36,171
Lukewarm chills?
541
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:39,074
Sí. Lukewarm
chills all the time.
542
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:42,077
I'll bet he's got the same
thing his cousin Agarn had...
543
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:43,495
Hoof-in-mouth disease.
544
00:21:43,519 --> 00:21:46,115
Hoof-in-mouth disease?
I shoot my horse.
545
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:47,216
Uh, wait a minute.
546
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,784
Uh, lieutenant... this
man may be a bandit,
547
00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,453
but he is, after
all, a human being.
548
00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,706
I demand that you treat him.
549
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:55,040
Sí, sí.
550
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:56,408
I'm a human being.
551
00:21:56,432 --> 00:21:57,960
Treat me, treat me.
552
00:21:57,984 --> 00:21:59,194
In an emergency like this,
553
00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:01,163
you've got to take him
to the fort dispensary.
554
00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:02,631
But, captain... That's an order.
555
00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:03,832
You heard the captain.
556
00:22:03,856 --> 00:22:05,000
That's an order.
557
00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:06,802
Take me to the dispensary.
558
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:08,387
Pedro. Felipe.
559
00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:09,755
Here, pick him up and follow me.
560
00:22:09,779 --> 00:22:10,756
There we go.
561
00:22:10,780 --> 00:22:12,257
Right to this... That's it.
562
00:22:12,281 --> 00:22:13,881
Hey, hey.
563
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,114
There's no sign of anybody.
564
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,283
Captain Parmenter,
Sergeant O'Rourke, Dobbs.
565
00:22:21,307 --> 00:22:22,284
All gone.
566
00:22:22,308 --> 00:22:23,285
With you as our leader,
567
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:25,554
we could be in the wrong fort.
568
00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:27,022
Oh.
569
00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,525
You're just asking for
a court-martial, Duffy.
570
00:22:29,549 --> 00:22:31,560
Vanderbilt, go out and
take a look at the sign.
571
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:33,529
He can't even find the gate.
572
00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:34,530
Hoffenmueller.
573
00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:36,582
He can't read English.
574
00:22:36,606 --> 00:22:39,217
Oh! Ah, don't worry about
a thing now, El Diablo.
575
00:22:39,241 --> 00:22:41,053
You'll be as good as
new in the morning.
576
00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:44,390
Look.
577
00:22:44,414 --> 00:22:45,624
All right, here we go.
578
00:22:45,648 --> 00:22:47,325
Right into the dispensary.
579
00:22:57,893 --> 00:22:59,938
Sarge. You captured my cousin.
580
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:01,539
That was quick
thinking, sergeant.
581
00:23:01,563 --> 00:23:02,808
Ah, there was nothing to it.
582
00:23:02,832 --> 00:23:05,243
Same size, same
color eyes, same nose.
583
00:23:05,267 --> 00:23:07,747
Same stupid look on his face.
584
00:23:18,847 --> 00:23:20,848
Good morning, Pancho.
585
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,230
I'd like to read
you a little letter
586
00:23:26,254 --> 00:23:28,934
I'm writing to Granny
Agarn in Passaic.
587
00:23:28,958 --> 00:23:31,102
I knew you would do
something like that.
588
00:23:31,126 --> 00:23:34,606
You was always
a rotten little kid.
589
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:37,843
I just wanted to let
granny know she was right.
590
00:23:37,867 --> 00:23:39,778
You gotta face it, Pancho.
591
00:23:39,802 --> 00:23:41,246
You're a loser.
592
00:23:41,270 --> 00:23:43,214
You are right, my cousin.
593
00:23:43,238 --> 00:23:45,284
The whole family was right.
594
00:23:45,308 --> 00:23:46,573
I am not being a...
595
00:23:47,643 --> 00:23:50,489
What is that... mark
under your eye?
596
00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:52,757
I hope it's not serious.
597
00:23:52,781 --> 00:23:53,892
A mark?
598
00:23:53,916 --> 00:23:54,910
Under which eye?
599
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:55,911
Your right eye.
600
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,712
Is it sort of... red?
601
00:23:57,736 --> 00:23:58,714
Blotchy?
602
00:23:58,738 --> 00:24:00,281
I cannot see too good.
603
00:24:00,305 --> 00:24:01,671
Better come closer.
604
00:24:02,624 --> 00:24:05,170
I still cannot see too good.
605
00:24:05,194 --> 00:24:07,139
Better come inside.
606
00:24:07,163 --> 00:24:08,245
I give it a good look.
607
00:24:15,705 --> 00:24:17,838
Pancho! Take a
good look, please.
608
00:24:23,513 --> 00:24:26,442
Now I see your
eye in the good light.
609
00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:27,826
It was nothing.
610
00:24:27,850 --> 00:24:29,900
Adios, my cousin.
611
00:24:35,007 --> 00:24:37,518
Give my love to granny.
39636
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