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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,653 --> 00:00:03,313 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:04,661 Where do you see yourself in ten years? 3 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,050 Ten years? 4 00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:09,103 I don't know about ten days from now, honestly. 5 00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,229 Where do you see yourself in ten years? 6 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:11,841 Well, I'll be 47. 7 00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:15,061 I see myself in a really good relationship. 8 00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,502 Do you think you'll be with Chris in ten years? 9 00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,319 I would like to be with him in ten years. 10 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,367 Um, I'm gonna be friends with Taylor Swift. 11 00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:22,762 I think the oceans are gonna rise, 12 00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:25,155 and we're all going to be living in a hellscape. 13 00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:26,499 But I'll be happy. I'm gonna be touring-- 14 00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,638 a touring musician in the water world. 15 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,200 - On a submarine. - On a jet ski. 16 00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:31,467 On a jet ski. You know, it's gonna be, like, 17 00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:32,679 Kevin Costner's "Waterworld." 18 00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,508 Are you gonna be 47 in your metaverse? 19 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:38,076 - No. God, no. - [laughs] 20 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,905 ♪ I'm gonna miss my flight 21 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:46,313 ♪ I feel so all alone out on the road ♪ 22 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:49,220 ♪ Can you welcome me home? 23 00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:51,876 [upbeat music] 24 00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:52,881 25 00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,182 Cool. 26 00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,798 Ooh, it's gonna be so vintage. 27 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,228 Hello. - Hey. 28 00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:01,096 Oh, my God. What a cool shop. 29 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,578 Very vintage. 30 00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:05,367 I'm already seeing some hats. - I'm drawn to this hat. 31 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:07,333 [gasps] Oh, yeah. 32 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,371 God, my head is so big. 33 00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:10,807 When I first started doing comedy, 34 00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:14,073 I did not care about how I looked or how I dressed 35 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,417 until, like, last week. 36 00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:19,337 And now I can get more ballsy with the way I dress 37 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,693 but I still like to do resale 38 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:24,433 and vintage clothing and stuff that, you know, 39 00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:27,085 dead people have worn before me. 40 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:30,220 Is there a particular decade that you're attracted to? 41 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,794 I go onstage a lot, 42 00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,050 and I just like to have glitzy things that maybe, like, 43 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,574 Joan Rivers would have worn in Vegas. 44 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,098 - Are we gonna change in here? - Yeah. Let's do it. 45 00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,972 You can call me Taylor Thrift. 46 00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:43,413 This is, like, what people think female comics are. 47 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,111 - Yeah. - Like, honey... 48 00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,238 - So I'll tell you about-- - Can I get some foreplay? 49 00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:48,371 [laughing] Yeah. 50 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,942 - [vocalizes] - That works out 51 00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:51,019 for you, sugar. 52 00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,417 Oh, tie me up, dog. Call me-- 53 00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:53,940 buy me a chance. - No, stop it. 54 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,203 Stop this character. - Buy me some Swiss cheese. 55 00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,986 I want to file a sexual harassment suit 56 00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,770 that'll be ignored for decades. 57 00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:02,375 I feel like you're Amelia Earhart 58 00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,686 before her last flight. - Get on my plane. 59 00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:09,223 Do you think it's ridiculous if I were to try to, like, 60 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,169 have a different career than comedy? 61 00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:15,868 I think I'm gonna try to be, like, a singer-songwriter. 62 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,178 My family was always super musical. 63 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,395 My dad is an amazing musician. 64 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:24,974 And I am not as naturally inclined. 65 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:27,634 I really credit my dad for making me 66 00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:30,629 pretty obsessed with music from an early age. 67 00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,802 He actually plays professionally. 68 00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:37,418 He plays in, you know, bars and restaurants, 69 00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:38,981 grocery stores, 70 00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,198 um, nursing homes. 71 00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,508 That's what he does in his retirement. 72 00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:45,903 He plays-- he plays retirement homes. 73 00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,338 Singing, it's just, like, 74 00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,344 first of all, my favorite art form. 75 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,476 And I think always been the thing I want to do 76 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,519 that I was scared to do, so I just chose a path 77 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:57,865 to artistic expression that was easier for me than-- 78 00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,396 - Mm-hmm. - Than what I really wanted 79 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,700 to do, which was always be a singer-songwriter. 80 00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:06,316 I think it's probably easier to go from comedy the other way 81 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,010 than to go into stand-up. 82 00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:09,317 So I'm doing the right way? 83 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,673 Yes, I think so. 84 00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:13,152 You're doing the reverse Madonna. 85 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,893 But am I allowed to just say, "Hey, I'm putting out a song," 86 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,504 without making fun of it and being like... 87 00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,155 - Yes. Yes. - "I'm so stupid 88 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,979 for putting out a song?" - Totally. 89 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:23,586 When the pandemic hit, I was unable to do stand-up 90 00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,988 and get my feelings out that way. 91 00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,901 The first thing I did was get a karaoke machine. 92 00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:30,036 I would get up every morning, eat my breakfast, 93 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,599 and go in the living room and sing three Taylor Swift songs, 94 00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,907 and I learned how good you could get by practicing. 95 00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,743 When I first started doing stand-up, 96 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:37,701 I sucked. 97 00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:38,869 I didn't call myself a comedian 98 00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,264 till I got on "Last Comic Standing." 99 00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,737 Why can't I be Taylor Swift? 100 00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:44,526 Like-- ♪ And then he loved me 101 00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,142 And then I'd be like-- [panting] 102 00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:48,362 You know what I think I'm uncomfortable with? 103 00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,752 Like, feelings in songs. - Yeah. 104 00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,275 I'm uncomfortable being like-- 105 00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,539 ♪ I loved him one summer 106 00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:55,932 - Yeah. - That is so embarrassing 107 00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,724 to be, like, accessing those feelings. 108 00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,149 It's much funnier to be like, "I queefed in his mouth." 109 00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,456 - I mean-- - [fart] 110 00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,372 - [laughing] Oh, my God. - That was a queef. 111 00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:05,417 Right? - Sure was, doll. 112 00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:07,814 - [whispering] Hey. - Yeah? 113 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,246 - You know what you could do? - Huh? 114 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,422 - Rub my feet. - No. 115 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:11,897 - Just a little bit? - No, no, no, no. 116 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,247 You have a foot machine. 117 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,426 But it's not good, Andrew. 118 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:15,911 - Rub my feet. - Let's go. 119 00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,301 - Find the pressure spot. - I'm warming it up first. 120 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,425 See, I'm already in there. 121 00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,956 It's just like sex. 122 00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,169 Boys don't do foreplay. 123 00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:23,308 They just go-- [growls] 124 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,440 I can assure you, 125 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,181 I'm feeling nothing sexual for you. 126 00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,362 My vagina's falling off. 127 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,918 My penis is in my body. 128 00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:31,225 Good. Keep it there. 129 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,971 [laughing] 130 00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:38,097 [mid-tempo music] 131 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,097 132 00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:40,108 [leaf blower whirring] 133 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:41,059 [dog barking] 134 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,759 Hi! 135 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:46,757 Mom? 136 00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:50,327 Mom. Mom! 137 00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,287 - Hey. - Hi. 138 00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:53,285 - Hey. - What's up? 139 00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:54,336 Just blowing some leaves? 140 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,471 Just blowing some leaves. 141 00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:56,772 I thought Dad hates leaf blowers. 142 00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,338 He does. I gotta use it when he's gone. 143 00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,335 He hates you blowing leaves. 144 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,126 - He hates it. - Or anyone else. 145 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,350 Too bad. 146 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,909 That's the way it goes. - Um, 147 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:07,955 I brought some clothes for you to see if you want any, 148 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,053 and then the rest you can maybe take to Goodwill for me. 149 00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,832 - Okay. - It's a lot. 150 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,356 Oh, my God. Oh, I already see some stuff I want. 151 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,191 Taylor gave me that. You can have it. 152 00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:17,318 Except it's got some issues. 153 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,840 Yeah, it's got a little stain on it. 154 00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:20,973 These are both for Lauren. Sorry, nothing for you. 155 00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:24,276 Lauren will be able to fit in these in a couple months. 156 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,894 Okay. - Um... 157 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,325 I want to throw Lauren some kind of-- 158 00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,642 do you have third kid baby showers? 159 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:33,589 They do. They call 'em sprinkles. 160 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,247 - That makes sense. - Does it make sense? 161 00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:37,251 So it's, like, a lesser-- it's not, like, your first one. 162 00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:38,603 Oh, yeah. We got to do one. 163 00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,122 - That would be so nice. - Yeah. 164 00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:41,595 She would love that. 165 00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:44,385 My sister, Lauren, she's two years younger than me. 166 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,561 She is the most beautiful person I know. 167 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,647 She has chose a totally different path in life. 168 00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:51,176 She's married to an amazing guy, Matt. 169 00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,740 They have two kids together, a third on the way. 170 00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:57,358 And I'm 37, and I tell dick jokes for a living 171 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,450 and am currently trying to get back with an ex-boyfriend 172 00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:01,579 who I've been off and on with for eight years. 173 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,972 My younger sister has three kids. 174 00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:05,405 Total surprise. 175 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:06,932 - I did not see this coming... - No. 176 00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,585 - For her. - I assumed she was gonna 177 00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:09,759 have children, but I didn't know-- 178 00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:11,374 You probably assumed I was too. 179 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:12,764 Mm. I don't know. 180 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,417 Your career was kind of forefront. 181 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,681 But before we had careers. You just assume your daughters 182 00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:17,944 will have kids. - Yeah, I just assumed both 183 00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:19,416 of you would have children. - Yeah. 184 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,416 I've honestly never been to a baby shower. 185 00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,078 - Really? - I don't think so. 186 00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:26,041 I actually went to one, and it was in the movie "Trainwreck." 187 00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,391 - Oh. - That was like-- 188 00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,690 - It was in a movie. - And that's what I feel 189 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,476 like they all are, just like, we're so excited. 190 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,430 Yeah, they kind of make it like that. 191 00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:32,438 And just, oh, my gosh. 192 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,519 But you came in for Arlo's birth. 193 00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:35,528 But not the shower. 194 00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,269 It was really fun. I had it. 195 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,439 I blew up these cloud balloons. 196 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:40,876 - Oh, yeah. - And then I had little babies 197 00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,882 in onesies floating around the room. 198 00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,064 - Didn't they look like-- - They looked like little, 199 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,060 uh, onesies-- - Like, ghost babies? 200 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,322 Yeah, ghost babies. 201 00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:49,844 I've been hearing about these ghost babies 202 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,627 since their inception. 203 00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:55,072 My mom seems to have had some acid flashbacks 204 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:58,420 that are hitting her up later in life. 205 00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,511 Everybody's like, what is that? 206 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:00,419 They were kind of disturbed by it? 207 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,463 Yeah. And I was like, 208 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,638 I don't care what you think. 209 00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,823 It's truly terrifying and hilarious. 210 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,469 - I'm gonna bring one of 'em. - You still have one? 211 00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:07,823 I have all of them. 212 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:10,342 She likes terrifying party guests, apparently. 213 00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,946 Please bring the ghost babies. 214 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,126 No one's ever wanted to go to a baby shower, right? 215 00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,262 People don't want to go. 216 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,744 We won't have to have penis straws 217 00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,614 like they always do. 218 00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,484 Are those bachelor-- - That's bachelor parties. 219 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:22,918 - Okay. Bachelorette parties. - Yeah. 220 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,664 Are they ever, like, fun, and people, like, drink? 221 00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:28,796 Let's not do opening presents and stuff like that. 222 00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:30,319 Can we do one that's, like, not-- 223 00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:32,762 like, the anti-baby shower? 224 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,500 - Do an anti? - Anti. 225 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,111 An anti. 226 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:39,811 Nikki, I think this is going somewhere. 227 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,290 - Ugh. - Oh, come on. 228 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,460 Ugh. I regret that. 229 00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,766 [upbeat music] 230 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,817 Ah, ha-ha-ha. 231 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,520 [squeals] - [laughs] 232 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:55,741 Hi. Oh, my gosh. 233 00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:58,089 - What a treat. - Good to see you. 234 00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,779 Rachel and I met through Amy Schumer 235 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,787 back in 2010 when I moved to New York. 236 00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,529 I saw your name, like, on a flyer 237 00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:05,621 at my Starbucks, and I was like-- 238 00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:06,829 [gasps] Rachel's co-- 239 00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:08,837 like, I forgot that you were coming here. 240 00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,749 She's one of the four funniest people I know. 241 00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:14,405 Kerstin, Rachel Feinstein, David Spade, Bob Saget. 242 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,710 Those people all make me laugh 243 00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:18,536 in a way that my head snaps back 244 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,015 like a Pez dispenser. 245 00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:21,544 [indistinct speech on computer] 246 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,068 [laughing] 247 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:24,421 [indistinct] 248 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,680 Gah ha-ha. It hurts. 249 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:29,033 Wait, what was the time-- 250 00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:31,953 one of my favorite stories was when you brought 251 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:34,599 a change of clothes to a date. 252 00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:37,434 - Wait, what? - Oh, that was a dark time. 253 00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,563 Whoa. I met this guy at a show, 254 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,556 and I came to the date, 255 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,698 and I couldn't decide what to wear. 256 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:46,740 So I packed a second dress in my purse. 257 00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,617 And so I pretended-- 258 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,879 oof, to spill the drink on myself. 259 00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,972 And then I was like, oopsie daisy. 260 00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:56,011 And so I ran off to the bathroom 261 00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,837 and changed and came back in the dress. 262 00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,575 I was probably, like, walking towards him just like-- 263 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:03,107 - Oh, my God. - I know. 264 00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,071 You were dating a lot before you found B. 265 00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,679 Yeah, I was hanging out at steak houses, 266 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,420 'cause I heard men hang out at steak houses. 267 00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,810 I'm like, I'll be at the steak house bar later. 268 00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,464 They're like, that's not-- 269 00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:15,418 I was pulsing with desperation. 270 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,077 Oh, my God. 271 00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,601 Was it just you just knew you wanted 272 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:19,945 to be married someday and have kids? 273 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,264 Like, was there a fear that it wouldn't happen? 274 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,950 Oh, yeah, of course. Definitely. 275 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,298 I was, like, at the bottom of the ninth, 276 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,257 like, when he was getting ready to propose. 277 00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:28,865 I was, like, talking about it on stage 278 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:31,566 when I was, like, looking for a ring in my salad. 279 00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:32,924 No one wanted to be around me. 280 00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,843 I totally relate to this. 281 00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:37,398 Like, I want to maybe be married. 282 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:38,746 Like, I want to be wife. 283 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,405 - Yeah. - And so if you're not down 284 00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:43,279 for marriage, like, tell me now 'cause this is what I need. 285 00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:46,761 When I look at Chris now, I kind of see the total package. 286 00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:48,943 Oh. Oh! - [laughing] 287 00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,109 Ah! 288 00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:51,774 Are you okay? - Yeah. 289 00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,638 He's someone I'm deeply attracted to. 290 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,900 He's consistent, he's there for me. 291 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,253 He's really husband material. 292 00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,822 This is--it's working. 293 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,600 - I mean, they're out. - [laughs] 294 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:04,914 Chris and I are doing so great that maybe I want kids. 295 00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,132 Maybe it's just St. Louis, 296 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,130 'cause everyone in St. Louis has kids. 297 00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:10,782 Rachel, what's your favorite thing about being a mom? 298 00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,957 Um, I didn't realize how silly it would be. 299 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,964 Like, she's--it's funny. Every day is funny. 300 00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:18,006 And also I feel like when a babysitter comes over, 301 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,142 like, I'm doing an impression of a mother. 302 00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:21,804 Like, you know that speech that you have 303 00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,708 before you leave the babysitter? 304 00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,153 - Yeah. - And they kind of dismiss me. 305 00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,099 I feared the people I worked with when I was a nanny. 306 00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:29,368 Yes. I used to be so scared... 307 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,021 - Yes. I know, I was like-- - Of the moms. 308 00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,455 - Yeah, 'cause I knew-- - The dads were always 309 00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,501 kind of like, I'll drive you home drunk. 310 00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,196 Wait, I thought that only happens in movies. 311 00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:38,944 [laughter] 312 00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:42,122 - What's going on here? - Oh, that's just who I am. 313 00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:44,343 - What is that? - Wh--cut it out. 314 00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:46,252 I'm not kidding you. 315 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,687 There's been gains. 316 00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,174 Can I get a change of seats? 317 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,433 Oh, Glase. 318 00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:54,386 [mid-tempo music] 319 00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:55,436 320 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,000 - Oh. - Whoa. 321 00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:59,397 I've never been in a studio. - Me neither, dude. 322 00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:00,621 - Seriously? - Hey. 323 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,010 - Welcome. - Thank you. 324 00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,272 It's cool that you have my vagina on your shirt. 325 00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,705 Um, I'm just kidding. It just reminded me of-- 326 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,713 - [chuckles] - It's just a joke. 327 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:09,795 All right, off to a great start. 328 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,023 Okay, um-- [laughter] 329 00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,241 Today I'm recording a song. 330 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:16,021 I'm so excited to do it, because it's like I'm Batkid. 331 00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,546 And they're giving me the city, 332 00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,459 and I get to pretend like I'm a superhero. 333 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,864 Like, I am living a dream. 334 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:25,338 [guitar playing] 335 00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:29,041 ♪ August, you were the one, hold the seed in the sand ♪ 336 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:30,859 ♪ You let go of what's real 337 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,647 [clears throat] 338 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,132 Does she start right off? 339 00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:35,701 I don't know where I start, to be honest with you. 340 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,958 Twice through. 341 00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,221 ♪ Some people sa-- [bleep], sorry. 342 00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:42,094 I'm really, really loud in my-- 343 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,046 it's almost like I hate my voice right now 344 00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:45,494 'cause it's so loud. 345 00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,010 [over headphones] ♪ I know-- - Too much? 346 00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,754 Oh, you got to sing with yourself. 347 00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,095 This isn't going well. 348 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,714 My biggest fear is that I'm only getting 349 00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,324 to do this because I've paid for it 350 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,634 or because my friends are trying to be nice. 351 00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:56,851 [clears throat] 352 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,020 I'm feeling, like, that kind of thing today 353 00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,106 where it's like, is this just your Make-A-Wish? 354 00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,589 ♪ And even though I know-- Ugh. 355 00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,546 Wha-ha-la-la-la-la. 356 00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:07,765 Don't want to hear myself. 357 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,384 Oh. Oh. 358 00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:10,774 Hi! - Yo. 359 00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:11,907 Ah. 360 00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,818 Someone's excited. 361 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,263 So sweet. 362 00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:18,389 [panting] [laughter] 363 00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,646 Hi. - How's it going? 364 00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:23,217 Can't stand my own voice. 365 00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,924 Can I just sing it as someone else? 366 00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,532 You don't have to keep these. They don't have to be perfect. 367 00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:29,623 You just have to try 368 00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,051 and do your best. 369 00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:32,928 I'm glad Chris stopped by the studio, 370 00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,799 because he's so proud of me trying this new, 371 00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,022 kind of awkward, late in the game, 372 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,241 delusional endeavor. 373 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,460 Thanks for coming. - This is awesome. 374 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:45,369 He supports me in my career and my hopes and dreams. 375 00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:48,936 When he is in this mode, I'm, like, very-- 376 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,805 I'm pretty horned up for it. 377 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,728 [music playing] 378 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,734 ♪ I'll always be the one 379 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,557 ♪ Who bares my bones in bright moonlight ♪ 380 00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:06,305 ♪ I do not see how you couldn't trust me ♪ 381 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:09,090 ♪ Will you come back again, hold my face in your hands ♪ 382 00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:11,486 ♪ Say this isn't the end 383 00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,489 [upbeat music] 384 00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,191 I definitely am a better singer 385 00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:17,579 than Bob Dylan... is now. 386 00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,492 [as Bob Dylan] ♪ He sings like this 387 00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,757 [normal voice] Like, that's not good. 388 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,670 - It's awesome. - Thanks. 389 00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:24,064 I could win a Grammy someday. 390 00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,847 I bet if I worked hard enough I could. 391 00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:29,722 Do I think I will win a Grammy? 392 00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:31,155 Yeah. I do. I honestly do. 393 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:32,991 She's just gonna put the pup on her lap. 394 00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,599 It'll give me more comfort. 395 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:35,769 Do you want me to sit on your lap too? 396 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,425 [laughter] 397 00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:44,776 So, um, do you need this rogue tampon 398 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,174 that has hair? 399 00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,566 Do you want to push this into your vagina? 400 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,869 This is very representative of me. 401 00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,046 This is me. - With this wiry... 402 00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,831 Hair. And, like, 403 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,525 has a little bit of spray tan on it. 404 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,792 - Give it to me. - Out of the wrapper. 405 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,096 Buh-bye. 406 00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,581 Aw, I wanted it to land in the trash. 407 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:01,622 Okay. 408 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:04,446 [upbeat music] 409 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:07,365 410 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:08,541 All right. Let's move 'em. 411 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:10,066 I don't know how to do these things. 412 00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,680 They have event people that'll help do that. 413 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,070 We can have other people do this. 414 00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,463 You guys are old. 415 00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,765 Oh, my God. 416 00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,901 That's the wrong tablecloth. 417 00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,034 Hup, two, three. 418 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,375 Are these the chairs we're using? 419 00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,514 Let's all try to decide where these should hang. 420 00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:26,127 If I ever have a baby shower or a wedding, 421 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:29,349 I don't want my mom to... even be there. 422 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,650 We'll just set those up over here, along here. 423 00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,956 You go around and make sure the tablecloth is even. 424 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,793 We're gonna go over here to the buffet. 425 00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,051 My mom likes to be frazzled. 426 00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,104 Bossing people around and, 427 00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,489 "No one's helping me." 428 00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,101 EJ, you don't have time to talk. 429 00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:44,062 We have got to get this going. 430 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,280 "Why don't you do this?" "God damn it." 431 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,930 Don't put up any more tables. 432 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,024 Chairs, you mean? 433 00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,452 Chairs you can put up. 434 00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,368 [laughing] 435 00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,943 Where should we put this? - What about right here? 436 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,200 You can't see it. 437 00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,462 - Yeah, you can. - What about in this window? 438 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:57,984 My mom envisioned this idea 439 00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,117 in one of her night terrors, 440 00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:00,939 and she brought it to life. 441 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:03,207 They found a headless, legless baby 442 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,470 buried in a mass grave. 443 00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:06,913 Hello! 444 00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,729 Hi! - Oh, my goodness. 445 00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,817 Thank you so much for coming. 446 00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,996 You guys are here! 447 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,132 [cheers] 448 00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:16,125 Hi, how are you? 449 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,306 Yes. Yes. 450 00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,012 [indistinct speech] 451 00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,399 Hi, Poppy. 452 00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:23,102 - Happy baby party. - This is so beautiful. 453 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,969 - You look amazing. - You look great too. 454 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,881 God, you make me want to get pregnant. 455 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,186 - Really? - You look good. 456 00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,191 Growing up, I was obsessed with Lauren 457 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,633 being kidnapped, because I was aware 458 00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:34,149 that she was a much more attractive child than I was. 459 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,414 And then when we got into high school, 460 00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:37,676 I was deeply jealous of her. 461 00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:40,329 My personality is the way it is because I needed 462 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:41,684 to find other ways for people to like me, 463 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:45,293 because I just felt so un-Lauren-like. 464 00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,545 [upbeat musical flourish] 465 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,384 - Aye! What's up. - How you doing? 466 00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,517 Oh, my God, there are so many babies here. 467 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,080 Oh, my goodness. 468 00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:55,347 Look at all this. 469 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,129 Look at all those babies. 470 00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:59,263 Those are haunting, right? 471 00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:01,566 Man, this place looks awesome, Nikki. 472 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,442 I'm making a gigantic plate of veggies. 473 00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,664 I ate so much, I feel pregnant. 474 00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:07,623 Who--you or Lauren, more pregnant? 475 00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,882 I don't know, it's-- here, feel. 476 00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:13,015 You've known Lauren through all of her pregnancies. 477 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,019 Yeah. She had Arlo, 478 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,021 and then Poppy, 479 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,502 and now this one. 480 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,071 Then whatever this one's gonna be. 481 00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:20,538 - Yeah. - Whatever's it's gonna be. 482 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,018 Do you think that you might consider 483 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,718 having little babies some time? 484 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,635 Um... 485 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,250 you know, when I see this little one. 486 00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,161 Here's one-- oh, my, she's so sweet. 487 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,506 Come here. - Get over here. 488 00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:34,375 Just in time. Hi. - I love her. 489 00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,518 When I see you, I want more of you. 490 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,300 But I'm not guaranteed to get one like you. 491 00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,126 Um-- - She's so sweet. 492 00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:43,054 I mean, I'd have to find someone 493 00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,959 to take me to the sperm bank. 494 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,834 I got to get a ride. 495 00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:49,915 [laughter] 496 00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:53,795 In the past, my career was, like, my child. 497 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:55,408 - Oh, no. - I got him. 498 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,449 No one can get him. 499 00:16:57,494 --> 00:17:00,584 But I always just thought it was my career or kids. 500 00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:01,848 And now, being back in St. Louis, 501 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:04,810 I realize I might be able to have it all. 502 00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,849 Don't let the balloon hit the ground. 503 00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:10,333 Charlie, don't let it hit the ground. 504 00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:11,767 - [squeals] - Don't let it hit the ground. 505 00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,083 Chris is honestly really good with kids. 506 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,300 And turns out, like, I am too. 507 00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,910 I think it might be because we're just 508 00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:22,000 extremely emotionally immature. 509 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,521 Here's the cake. 510 00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:25,314 - Oh! - [laughing] 511 00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,178 - [laughing] - Oh, my God. 512 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,310 We don't know if it's a girl or boy yet. 513 00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:30,832 - That is great. - It's amazing. 514 00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:32,265 - Do you see the baby? - I don't really understand it. 515 00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,572 - Huh? - That's Matt. 516 00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:35,707 Oh, Matt is like-- as the baby-- 517 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,620 Doing a face. 518 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,795 - Oh, my God. - It's something. 519 00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:44,281 Can we all take in the weird headless, bodyless baby torsos? 520 00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:45,724 She dug them out. - Remember these? 521 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,760 Oh, Jules, it's hard to forget. 522 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,625 [laughs] 523 00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:57,032 [upbeat music] 524 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,286 Dad, any luck? 525 00:17:58,338 --> 00:17:59,768 I want to play my song. 526 00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:02,037 Oh, my God, please get your boots out of my freezer. 527 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,691 Well, I'm trying to make-- when you put sacks of water, 528 00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,905 and then the ice-- oh, it hasn't froze yet. 529 00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:09,515 When the ice freezes, it make the ice go out... 530 00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:10,516 - Expands? - And then the-- 531 00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,087 'cause my bunions--ooh, no. 532 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,144 It popped. [bleep]. 533 00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,219 I knew this was a problem. 534 00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,838 Who puts bags of water in their shoes? 535 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,359 - People with bunions. - Nikki, see if your phone's... 536 00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:20,622 - Aw, Nikki. - Connected to it. 537 00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:21,804 Oh, wait. Here we go. Bluetooth pairing. 538 00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:23,359 I really want to play you guys the song 539 00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,446 that I just recorded. - Come on, Luigi. 540 00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:27,495 I'm really nervous about my dad hearing this song, 541 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,941 because he's very critical. 542 00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,939 Hardly. 543 00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:34,591 Ask anyone. Dad, you are critical. 544 00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:35,585 It's just the way you are. 545 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:36,546 I'm not drinking red wine 546 00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,473 on that white couch. 547 00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,468 Andrew was like, I see where you get it from. 548 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:41,950 Your dad is very critical, 549 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,820 and that's what makes you very critical. 550 00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,391 Andrew's pretty easy to be critical of. 551 00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:47,208 No, I'm just kidding. [laughs] 552 00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,556 I rest my case. 553 00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,385 Ugh. I'm kind of nervous. 554 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,093 Mm. Ugh. - All right. 555 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,272 [music playing] 556 00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,229 [playing on speaker] - ♪ This is not a complaint 557 00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:01,399 Oh, whoa. 558 00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:04,234 ♪ I am not against fame 559 00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:07,153 ♪ But I wanna run away, and I wanna find a friend ♪ 560 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:10,059 ♪ I wanna let someone in 561 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:12,365 [singing along] ♪ But I am alone 562 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:15,332 ♪ August, you were the one who put seeds in the sand ♪ 563 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,031 ♪ You let go of what's real 564 00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:21,329 ♪ Even though I know I can't-- ♪ 565 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,937 Sounds like Anya in the background. 566 00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:26,117 But I did harmonies for this, so it might be me. 567 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,375 [harmonizing] ♪ Make me so restless 568 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,778 Sounds like you. 569 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:32,210 [harmonizing] ♪ I'll always be the one 570 00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:35,168 ♪ Who bares my bones in bright moonlight ♪ 571 00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,127 ♪ I do not see how-- 572 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,306 Sounds good. 573 00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,741 ♪ Couldn't trust me 574 00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:44,567 ♪ But it feels like the end 575 00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,228 That sounds good, honey. 576 00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,542 ♪ I just know it's the end 577 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:49,798 - It sounds killer. - Doesn't it sound good? 578 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,280 - Oh, my God. - It sounds great. 579 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,240 My dad actually liked it. 580 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:56,409 When your harshest critic, with his amazing voice, 581 00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:58,676 likes something, it gives me hope that, like, 582 00:19:58,719 --> 00:19:59,939 the masses could like it. 583 00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:02,071 The whole song is really good. 584 00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:03,423 You deliver it really well. 585 00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:05,163 Your voice is good. - No, it's so good. 586 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,604 Anyone can do anything if you work hard enough. 587 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,381 It's about putting in those 10,000 hours. 588 00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:14,385 I probably have, like, 9,983 hours to go. 589 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,820 So... 590 00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,997 can we wrap this up? 'Cause I got to go practice. 591 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:21,183 I'm like Michael Jordan when he played baseball. 592 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,830 Except-- - [chuckles] 593 00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:26,573 I'm like Michael Jordan if he started doing pop music. 594 00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:29,096 I don't need to compare myself to Michael Jordan. 595 00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,320 I'm more of a Scottie Pippen. 596 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:31,749 [both laugh] 597 00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:35,278 Next time... 598 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,891 You think I should change my material at all 599 00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,631 with Chris and my mom and dad going to my show in Chicago? 600 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,073 They've never been sitting next to each other 601 00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:44,289 while they have to hear jokes about me and Chris. 602 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:47,290 Fluids are being exchanged. I don't know how to put that. 603 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:48,603 Off to Chicago. 604 00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:50,068 Bird sanctuary. 605 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,378 [bird squawking] - Hello. 606 00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:53,304 How these people live like this. 607 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,339 This is heaven. [birds squawking] 608 00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:56,604 [crowd cheering] 609 00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:57,866 Blowjobs are intimate as well. 610 00:20:57,908 --> 00:20:59,688 If you go too deep, it hits your heart. 611 00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:00,996 What do you think of that one? 612 00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:02,962 For the love of Glase. 42595

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