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1
00:00:01,653 --> 00:00:03,313
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:03,351 --> 00:00:04,661
Where do you see yourself
in ten years?
3
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,050
Ten years?
4
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:09,103
I don't know about ten days
from now, honestly.
5
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:10,229
Where do you see yourself
in ten years?
6
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:11,841
Well, I'll be 47.
7
00:00:11,881 --> 00:00:15,061
I see myself
in a really good relationship.
8
00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,502
Do you think you'll be
with Chris in ten years?
9
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,319
I would like to be with him
in ten years.
10
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,367
Um, I'm gonna be friends
with Taylor Swift.
11
00:00:21,412 --> 00:00:22,762
I think the oceans
are gonna rise,
12
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:25,155
and we're all going
to be living in a hellscape.
13
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:26,499
But I'll be happy.
I'm gonna be touring--
14
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:28,638
a touring musician
in the water world.
15
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,200
- On a submarine.
- On a jet ski.
16
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:31,467
On a jet ski.
You know, it's gonna be, like,
17
00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:32,679
Kevin Costner's "Waterworld."
18
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,508
Are you gonna be 47
in your metaverse?
19
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:38,076
- No. God, no.
- [laughs]
20
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,905
♪ I'm gonna miss my flight
21
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:46,313
♪ I feel so all alone
out on the road ♪
22
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:49,220
♪ Can you welcome me home?
23
00:00:49,266 --> 00:00:51,876
[upbeat music]
24
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:52,881
♪
25
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,182
Cool.
26
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,798
Ooh, it's gonna
be so vintage.
27
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,228
Hello.
- Hey.
28
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:01,096
Oh, my God.
What a cool shop.
29
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,578
Very vintage.
30
00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:05,367
I'm already seeing some hats.
- I'm drawn to this hat.
31
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:07,333
[gasps]
Oh, yeah.
32
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,371
God, my head is so big.
33
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:10,807
When I first started
doing comedy,
34
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:14,073
I did not care about
how I looked or how I dressed
35
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:16,417
until, like, last week.
36
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:19,337
And now I can get more ballsy
with the way I dress
37
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,693
but I still like to do resale
38
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:24,433
and vintage clothing
and stuff that, you know,
39
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:27,085
dead people have worn
before me.
40
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:30,220
Is there a particular decade
that you're attracted to?
41
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,794
I go onstage a lot,
42
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,050
and I just like to have
glitzy things that maybe, like,
43
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,574
Joan Rivers would have worn
in Vegas.
44
00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,098
- Are we gonna change in here?
- Yeah. Let's do it.
45
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,972
You can call me Taylor Thrift.
46
00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:43,413
This is, like, what people
think female comics are.
47
00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,111
- Yeah.
- Like, honey...
48
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,238
- So I'll tell you about--
- Can I get some foreplay?
49
00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:48,371
[laughing]
Yeah.
50
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,942
- [vocalizes]
- That works out
51
00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:51,019
for you, sugar.
52
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,417
Oh, tie me up, dog.
Call me--
53
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:53,940
buy me a chance.
- No, stop it.
54
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,203
Stop this character.
- Buy me some Swiss cheese.
55
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:57,986
I want to file
a sexual harassment suit
56
00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,770
that'll be ignored for decades.
57
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:02,375
I feel like
you're Amelia Earhart
58
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,686
before her last flight.
- Get on my plane.
59
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:09,223
Do you think it's ridiculous
if I were to try to, like,
60
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,169
have a different career
than comedy?
61
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:15,868
I think I'm gonna try to be,
like, a singer-songwriter.
62
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,178
My family was always
super musical.
63
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,395
My dad is an amazing musician.
64
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:24,974
And I am not
as naturally inclined.
65
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:27,634
I really credit my dad
for making me
66
00:02:27,669 --> 00:02:30,629
pretty obsessed with music
from an early age.
67
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,802
He actually
plays professionally.
68
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:37,418
He plays in, you know,
bars and restaurants,
69
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:38,981
grocery stores,
70
00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,198
um, nursing homes.
71
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:42,508
That's what he does
in his retirement.
72
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:45,903
He plays--
he plays retirement homes.
73
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,338
Singing, it's just, like,
74
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,344
first of all,
my favorite art form.
75
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,476
And I think always been
the thing I want to do
76
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,519
that I was scared to do,
so I just chose a path
77
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:57,865
to artistic expression
that was easier for me than--
78
00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,396
- Mm-hmm.
- Than what I really wanted
79
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,700
to do, which was always
be a singer-songwriter.
80
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:06,316
I think it's probably easier
to go from comedy the other way
81
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,010
than to go into stand-up.
82
00:03:08,057 --> 00:03:09,317
So I'm doing the right way?
83
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:10,673
Yes, I think so.
84
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:13,152
You're doing
the reverse Madonna.
85
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,893
But am I allowed to just say,
"Hey, I'm putting out a song,"
86
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,504
without making fun of it
and being like...
87
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,155
- Yes. Yes.
- "I'm so stupid
88
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,979
for putting out a song?"
- Totally.
89
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:23,586
When the pandemic hit,
I was unable to do stand-up
90
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:25,988
and get my feelings out
that way.
91
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:27,901
The first thing I did
was get a karaoke machine.
92
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:30,036
I would get up every morning,
eat my breakfast,
93
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:32,599
and go in the living room and
sing three Taylor Swift songs,
94
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,907
and I learned how good
you could get by practicing.
95
00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,743
When I first started
doing stand-up,
96
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:37,701
I sucked.
97
00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:38,869
I didn't call myself a comedian
98
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,264
till I got on
"Last Comic Standing."
99
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,737
Why can't I be Taylor Swift?
100
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:44,526
Like--
♪ And then he loved me
101
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,142
And then I'd be like--
[panting]
102
00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:48,362
You know what I think
I'm uncomfortable with?
103
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,752
Like, feelings in songs.
- Yeah.
104
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,275
I'm uncomfortable
being like--
105
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:54,539
♪ I loved him one summer
106
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:55,932
- Yeah.
- That is so embarrassing
107
00:03:55,974 --> 00:03:57,724
to be, like,
accessing those feelings.
108
00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,149
It's much funnier to be like,
"I queefed in his mouth."
109
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,456
- I mean--
- [fart]
110
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,372
- [laughing] Oh, my God.
- That was a queef.
111
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:05,417
Right?
- Sure was, doll.
112
00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:07,814
- [whispering] Hey.
- Yeah?
113
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,246
- You know what you could do?
- Huh?
114
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,422
- Rub my feet.
- No.
115
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:11,897
- Just a little bit?
- No, no, no, no.
116
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,247
You have a foot machine.
117
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,426
But it's not good, Andrew.
118
00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:15,911
- Rub my feet.
- Let's go.
119
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:18,301
- Find the pressure spot.
- I'm warming it up first.
120
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,425
See, I'm already in there.
121
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,956
It's just like sex.
122
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,169
Boys don't do foreplay.
123
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:23,308
They just go--
[growls]
124
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,440
I can assure you,
125
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,181
I'm feeling nothing sexual
for you.
126
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,362
My vagina's falling off.
127
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,918
My penis is in my body.
128
00:04:29,965 --> 00:04:31,225
Good. Keep it there.
129
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,971
[laughing]
130
00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:38,097
[mid-tempo music]
131
00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,097
♪
132
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:40,108
[leaf blower whirring]
133
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:41,059
[dog barking]
134
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,759
Hi!
135
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:46,757
Mom?
136
00:04:48,157 --> 00:04:50,327
Mom. Mom!
137
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,287
- Hey.
- Hi.
138
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:53,285
- Hey.
- What's up?
139
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:54,336
Just blowing some leaves?
140
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,471
Just blowing some leaves.
141
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:56,772
I thought Dad hates
leaf blowers.
142
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:58,338
He does.
I gotta use it when he's gone.
143
00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,335
He hates you blowing leaves.
144
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,126
- He hates it.
- Or anyone else.
145
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,350
Too bad.
146
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,909
That's the way it goes.
- Um,
147
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:07,955
I brought some clothes for you
to see if you want any,
148
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,053
and then the rest you can maybe
take to Goodwill for me.
149
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,832
- Okay.
- It's a lot.
150
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,356
Oh, my God. Oh, I already
see some stuff I want.
151
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,191
Taylor gave me that.
You can have it.
152
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:17,318
Except it's got some issues.
153
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,840
Yeah, it's got
a little stain on it.
154
00:05:18,883 --> 00:05:20,973
These are both for Lauren.
Sorry, nothing for you.
155
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:24,276
Lauren will be able to fit
in these in a couple months.
156
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,894
Okay.
- Um...
157
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,325
I want to throw Lauren
some kind of--
158
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:31,642
do you have third kid
baby showers?
159
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:33,589
They do.
They call 'em sprinkles.
160
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,247
- That makes sense.
- Does it make sense?
161
00:05:35,291 --> 00:05:37,251
So it's, like, a lesser--
it's not, like, your first one.
162
00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:38,603
Oh, yeah. We got to do one.
163
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,122
- That would be so nice.
- Yeah.
164
00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:41,595
She would love that.
165
00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:44,385
My sister, Lauren, she's
two years younger than me.
166
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,561
She is the most
beautiful person I know.
167
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,647
She has chose a totally
different path in life.
168
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:51,176
She's married
to an amazing guy, Matt.
169
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,740
They have two kids together,
a third on the way.
170
00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:57,358
And I'm 37, and I tell
dick jokes for a living
171
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,450
and am currently trying to get
back with an ex-boyfriend
172
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:01,579
who I've been off and on with
for eight years.
173
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,972
My younger sister
has three kids.
174
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:05,405
Total surprise.
175
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:06,932
- I did not see this coming...
- No.
176
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,585
- For her.
- I assumed she was gonna
177
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:09,759
have children,
but I didn't know--
178
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:11,374
You probably
assumed I was too.
179
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:12,764
Mm. I don't know.
180
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,417
Your career was
kind of forefront.
181
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,681
But before we had careers.
You just assume your daughters
182
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:17,944
will have kids.
- Yeah, I just assumed both
183
00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:19,416
of you would have children.
- Yeah.
184
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,416
I've honestly never been
to a baby shower.
185
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,078
- Really?
- I don't think so.
186
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:26,041
I actually went to one, and it
was in the movie "Trainwreck."
187
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,391
- Oh.
- That was like--
188
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,690
- It was in a movie.
- And that's what I feel
189
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,476
like they all are, just like,
we're so excited.
190
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,430
Yeah, they kind of
make it like that.
191
00:06:31,478 --> 00:06:32,438
And just, oh, my gosh.
192
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,519
But you came in
for Arlo's birth.
193
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:35,528
But not the shower.
194
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:37,269
It was really fun.
I had it.
195
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:39,439
I blew up these cloud balloons.
196
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:40,876
- Oh, yeah.
- And then I had little babies
197
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,882
in onesies floating
around the room.
198
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:45,064
- Didn't they look like--
- They looked like little,
199
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,060
uh, onesies--
- Like, ghost babies?
200
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,322
Yeah, ghost babies.
201
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:49,844
I've been hearing
about these ghost babies
202
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,627
since their inception.
203
00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:55,072
My mom seems to have had
some acid flashbacks
204
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:58,420
that are hitting her up
later in life.
205
00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,511
Everybody's like,
what is that?
206
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:00,419
They were kind of
disturbed by it?
207
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,463
Yeah.
And I was like,
208
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,638
I don't care what you think.
209
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,823
It's truly terrifying
and hilarious.
210
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,469
- I'm gonna bring one of 'em.
- You still have one?
211
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:07,823
I have all of them.
212
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:10,342
She likes terrifying
party guests, apparently.
213
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:11,946
Please bring the ghost babies.
214
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,126
No one's ever wanted to go
to a baby shower, right?
215
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,262
People don't want to go.
216
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:16,744
We won't have
to have penis straws
217
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,614
like they always do.
218
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,484
Are those bachelor--
- That's bachelor parties.
219
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:22,918
- Okay. Bachelorette parties.
- Yeah.
220
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,664
Are they ever, like, fun,
and people, like, drink?
221
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:28,796
Let's not do opening presents
and stuff like that.
222
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:30,319
Can we do one that's,
like, not--
223
00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:32,762
like, the anti-baby shower?
224
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,500
- Do an anti?
- Anti.
225
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,111
An anti.
226
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:39,811
Nikki, I think this
is going somewhere.
227
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,290
- Ugh.
- Oh, come on.
228
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,460
Ugh. I regret that.
229
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,766
[upbeat music]
230
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,817
Ah, ha-ha-ha.
231
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,520
[squeals]
- [laughs]
232
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:55,741
Hi. Oh, my gosh.
233
00:07:55,779 --> 00:07:58,089
- What a treat.
- Good to see you.
234
00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,779
Rachel and I met
through Amy Schumer
235
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,787
back in 2010
when I moved to New York.
236
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,529
I saw your name,
like, on a flyer
237
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:05,621
at my Starbucks,
and I was like--
238
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:06,829
[gasps]
Rachel's co--
239
00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:08,837
like, I forgot
that you were coming here.
240
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:11,749
She's one of the four
funniest people I know.
241
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:14,405
Kerstin, Rachel Feinstein,
David Spade, Bob Saget.
242
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,710
Those people all make me laugh
243
00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:18,536
in a way
that my head snaps back
244
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,015
like a Pez dispenser.
245
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:21,544
[indistinct speech on computer]
246
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,068
[laughing]
247
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:24,421
[indistinct]
248
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,680
Gah ha-ha.
It hurts.
249
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:29,033
Wait, what was the time--
250
00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:31,953
one of my favorite stories
was when you brought
251
00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:34,599
a change of clothes to a date.
252
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:37,434
- Wait, what?
- Oh, that was a dark time.
253
00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,563
Whoa.
I met this guy at a show,
254
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,556
and I came to the date,
255
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,698
and I couldn't decide
what to wear.
256
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:46,740
So I packed a second dress
in my purse.
257
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:49,617
And so I pretended--
258
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,879
oof, to spill the drink
on myself.
259
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,972
And then I was like,
oopsie daisy.
260
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:56,011
And so I ran off
to the bathroom
261
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:57,837
and changed and came back
in the dress.
262
00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:00,575
I was probably, like,
walking towards him just like--
263
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:03,107
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
264
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,071
You were dating a lot
before you found B.
265
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,679
Yeah, I was hanging out
at steak houses,
266
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,420
'cause I heard men hang out
at steak houses.
267
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,810
I'm like, I'll be
at the steak house bar later.
268
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,464
They're like, that's not--
269
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:15,418
I was pulsing with desperation.
270
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,077
Oh, my God.
271
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,601
Was it just
you just knew you wanted
272
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:19,945
to be married someday
and have kids?
273
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,264
Like, was there a fear
that it wouldn't happen?
274
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,950
Oh, yeah, of course. Definitely.
275
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,298
I was, like,
at the bottom of the ninth,
276
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,257
like, when he was
getting ready to propose.
277
00:09:27,305 --> 00:09:28,865
I was, like,
talking about it on stage
278
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:31,566
when I was, like,
looking for a ring in my salad.
279
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:32,924
No one wanted to be around me.
280
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,843
I totally relate to this.
281
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:37,398
Like, I want
to maybe be married.
282
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:38,746
Like, I want to be wife.
283
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,405
- Yeah.
- And so if you're not down
284
00:09:40,449 --> 00:09:43,279
for marriage, like, tell me now
'cause this is what I need.
285
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:46,761
When I look at Chris now, I
kind of see the total package.
286
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:48,943
Oh. Oh!
- [laughing]
287
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,109
Ah!
288
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:51,774
Are you okay?
- Yeah.
289
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:53,638
He's someone
I'm deeply attracted to.
290
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,900
He's consistent,
he's there for me.
291
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,253
He's really husband material.
292
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,822
This is--it's working.
293
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,600
- I mean, they're out.
- [laughs]
294
00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:04,914
Chris and I are doing so
great that maybe I want kids.
295
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,132
Maybe it's just St. Louis,
296
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,130
'cause everyone
in St. Louis has kids.
297
00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:10,782
Rachel, what's your favorite
thing about being a mom?
298
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,957
Um, I didn't realize
how silly it would be.
299
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,964
Like, she's--it's funny.
Every day is funny.
300
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:18,006
And also I feel like
when a babysitter comes over,
301
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,142
like, I'm doing an impression
of a mother.
302
00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:21,804
Like, you know that speech
that you have
303
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,708
before you leave
the babysitter?
304
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,153
- Yeah.
- And they kind of dismiss me.
305
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,099
I feared the people I worked
with when I was a nanny.
306
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:29,368
Yes.
I used to be so scared...
307
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,021
- Yes. I know, I was like--
- Of the moms.
308
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,455
- Yeah, 'cause I knew--
- The dads were always
309
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,501
kind of like,
I'll drive you home drunk.
310
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,196
Wait, I thought
that only happens in movies.
311
00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:38,944
[laughter]
312
00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:42,122
- What's going on here?
- Oh, that's just who I am.
313
00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:44,343
- What is that?
- Wh--cut it out.
314
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:46,252
I'm not kidding you.
315
00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,687
There's been gains.
316
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:49,174
Can I get a change of seats?
317
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:51,433
Oh, Glase.
318
00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:54,386
[mid-tempo music]
319
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:55,436
♪
320
00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,000
- Oh.
- Whoa.
321
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:59,397
I've never been in a studio.
- Me neither, dude.
322
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:00,621
- Seriously?
- Hey.
323
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,010
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
324
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,272
It's cool that you have
my vagina on your shirt.
325
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,705
Um, I'm just kidding.
It just reminded me of--
326
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,713
- [chuckles]
- It's just a joke.
327
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:09,795
All right,
off to a great start.
328
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,023
Okay, um--
[laughter]
329
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,241
Today I'm recording a song.
330
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:16,021
I'm so excited to do it,
because it's like I'm Batkid.
331
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,546
And they're giving me the city,
332
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,459
and I get to pretend
like I'm a superhero.
333
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,864
Like, I am living a dream.
334
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:25,338
[guitar playing]
335
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:29,041
♪ August, you were the one,
hold the seed in the sand ♪
336
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:30,859
♪ You let go of what's real
337
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,647
[clears throat]
338
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,132
Does she start right off?
339
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:35,701
I don't know where I start,
to be honest with you.
340
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,958
Twice through.
341
00:11:38,001 --> 00:11:40,221
♪ Some people sa--
[bleep], sorry.
342
00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:42,094
I'm really, really loud in my--
343
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,046
it's almost like I hate
my voice right now
344
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:45,494
'cause it's so loud.
345
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:47,010
[over headphones] ♪ I know--
- Too much?
346
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,754
Oh, you got to sing
with yourself.
347
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,095
This isn't going well.
348
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,714
My biggest fear
is that I'm only getting
349
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,324
to do this
because I've paid for it
350
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:55,634
or because my friends
are trying to be nice.
351
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:56,851
[clears throat]
352
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,020
I'm feeling, like,
that kind of thing today
353
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,106
where it's like,
is this just your Make-A-Wish?
354
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,589
♪ And even though I know--
Ugh.
355
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,546
Wha-ha-la-la-la-la.
356
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:07,765
Don't want to hear myself.
357
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,384
Oh. Oh.
358
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:10,774
Hi!
- Yo.
359
00:12:10,817 --> 00:12:11,907
Ah.
360
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,818
Someone's excited.
361
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,263
So sweet.
362
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:18,389
[panting]
[laughter]
363
00:12:19,956 --> 00:12:21,646
Hi.
- How's it going?
364
00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:23,217
Can't stand my own voice.
365
00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,924
Can I just sing it
as someone else?
366
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,532
You don't have to keep these.
They don't have to be perfect.
367
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:29,623
You just have to try
368
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,051
and do your best.
369
00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:32,928
I'm glad Chris stopped
by the studio,
370
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,799
because he's so proud of me
trying this new,
371
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,022
kind of awkward,
late in the game,
372
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,241
delusional endeavor.
373
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,460
Thanks for coming.
- This is awesome.
374
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:45,369
He supports me in my career
and my hopes and dreams.
375
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:48,936
When he is in this mode,
I'm, like, very--
376
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:51,805
I'm pretty horned up for it.
377
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,728
[music playing]
378
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,734
♪ I'll always be the one
379
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,557
♪ Who bares my bones
in bright moonlight ♪
380
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:06,305
♪ I do not see
how you couldn't trust me ♪
381
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:09,090
♪ Will you come back again,
hold my face in your hands ♪
382
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:11,486
♪ Say this isn't the end
383
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,489
[upbeat music]
384
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,191
I definitely am
a better singer
385
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:17,579
than Bob Dylan...
is now.
386
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,492
[as Bob Dylan]
♪ He sings like this
387
00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:20,757
[normal voice]
Like, that's not good.
388
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,670
- It's awesome.
- Thanks.
389
00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:24,064
I could win a Grammy someday.
390
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,847
I bet if I worked hard enough
I could.
391
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:29,722
Do I think I will win a Grammy?
392
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:31,155
Yeah. I do.
I honestly do.
393
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:32,991
She's just gonna put the pup
on her lap.
394
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,599
It'll give me more comfort.
395
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:35,769
Do you want me to sit
on your lap too?
396
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,425
[laughter]
397
00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:44,776
So, um,
do you need this rogue tampon
398
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,174
that has hair?
399
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,566
Do you want to push this
into your vagina?
400
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,869
This is very representative
of me.
401
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,046
This is me.
- With this wiry...
402
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,831
Hair.
And, like,
403
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:54,525
has a little bit
of spray tan on it.
404
00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:56,792
- Give it to me.
- Out of the wrapper.
405
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,096
Buh-bye.
406
00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,581
Aw, I wanted it
to land in the trash.
407
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:01,622
Okay.
408
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:04,446
[upbeat music]
409
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:07,365
♪
410
00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:08,541
All right. Let's move 'em.
411
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:10,066
I don't know
how to do these things.
412
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,680
They have event people
that'll help do that.
413
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:13,070
We can have
other people do this.
414
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,463
You guys are old.
415
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:15,765
Oh, my God.
416
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,901
That's the wrong tablecloth.
417
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,034
Hup, two, three.
418
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:20,375
Are these the chairs
we're using?
419
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,514
Let's all try to decide
where these should hang.
420
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:26,127
If I ever have a baby shower
or a wedding,
421
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:29,349
I don't want my mom to...
even be there.
422
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,650
We'll just set those up
over here, along here.
423
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,956
You go around and make sure
the tablecloth is even.
424
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,793
We're gonna go over here
to the buffet.
425
00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:38,051
My mom likes to be frazzled.
426
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,104
Bossing people around and,
427
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,489
"No one's helping me."
428
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,101
EJ, you don't have time
to talk.
429
00:14:42,142 --> 00:14:44,062
We have got to get this going.
430
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,280
"Why don't you do this?"
"God damn it."
431
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,930
Don't put up any more tables.
432
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,024
Chairs, you mean?
433
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,452
Chairs you can put up.
434
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,368
[laughing]
435
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,943
Where should we put this?
- What about right here?
436
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,200
You can't see it.
437
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:56,462
- Yeah, you can.
- What about in this window?
438
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:57,984
My mom envisioned this idea
439
00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,117
in one of her night terrors,
440
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:00,939
and she brought it to life.
441
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:03,207
They found a headless,
legless baby
442
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,470
buried in a mass grave.
443
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:06,913
Hello!
444
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,729
Hi!
- Oh, my goodness.
445
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,817
Thank you so much for coming.
446
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:12,996
You guys are here!
447
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,132
[cheers]
448
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:16,125
Hi, how are you?
449
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:18,306
Yes. Yes.
450
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,012
[indistinct speech]
451
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,399
Hi, Poppy.
452
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:23,102
- Happy baby party.
- This is so beautiful.
453
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,969
- You look amazing.
- You look great too.
454
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,881
God, you make me want
to get pregnant.
455
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,186
- Really?
- You look good.
456
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,191
Growing up,
I was obsessed with Lauren
457
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,633
being kidnapped,
because I was aware
458
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:34,149
that she was a much more
attractive child than I was.
459
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,414
And then when we got
into high school,
460
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:37,676
I was deeply jealous of her.
461
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:40,329
My personality is the way
it is because I needed
462
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:41,684
to find other ways
for people to like me,
463
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:45,293
because I just felt
so un-Lauren-like.
464
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,545
[upbeat musical flourish]
465
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,384
- Aye! What's up.
- How you doing?
466
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,517
Oh, my God,
there are so many babies here.
467
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,080
Oh, my goodness.
468
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:55,347
Look at all this.
469
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,129
Look at all those babies.
470
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:59,263
Those are haunting, right?
471
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:01,566
Man, this place
looks awesome, Nikki.
472
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,442
I'm making a gigantic plate
of veggies.
473
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,664
I ate so much,
I feel pregnant.
474
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:07,623
Who--you or Lauren,
more pregnant?
475
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,882
I don't know, it's--
here, feel.
476
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:13,015
You've known Lauren
through all of her pregnancies.
477
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,019
Yeah.
She had Arlo,
478
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,021
and then Poppy,
479
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,502
and now this one.
480
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,071
Then whatever
this one's gonna be.
481
00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:20,538
- Yeah.
- Whatever's it's gonna be.
482
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,018
Do you think that you might consider
483
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,718
having little babies some time?
484
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,635
Um...
485
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,250
you know,
when I see this little one.
486
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,161
Here's one--
oh, my, she's so sweet.
487
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,506
Come here.
- Get over here.
488
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:34,375
Just in time. Hi.
- I love her.
489
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,518
When I see you,
I want more of you.
490
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,300
But I'm not guaranteed
to get one like you.
491
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,126
Um--
- She's so sweet.
492
00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:43,054
I mean,
I'd have to find someone
493
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,959
to take me to the sperm bank.
494
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,834
I got to get a ride.
495
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:49,915
[laughter]
496
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:53,795
In the past, my career was,
like, my child.
497
00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:55,408
- Oh, no.
- I got him.
498
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,449
No one can get him.
499
00:16:57,494 --> 00:17:00,584
But I always just thought
it was my career or kids.
500
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:01,848
And now,
being back in St. Louis,
501
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:04,810
I realize I might be able
to have it all.
502
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:06,849
Don't let the balloon
hit the ground.
503
00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:10,333
Charlie,
don't let it hit the ground.
504
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:11,767
- [squeals]
- Don't let it hit the ground.
505
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:14,083
Chris is honestly
really good with kids.
506
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,300
And turns out, like, I am too.
507
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,910
I think it might be
because we're just
508
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:22,000
extremely emotionally immature.
509
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,521
Here's the cake.
510
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:25,314
- Oh!
- [laughing]
511
00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,178
- [laughing]
- Oh, my God.
512
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:29,310
We don't know
if it's a girl or boy yet.
513
00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:30,832
- That is great.
- It's amazing.
514
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:32,265
- Do you see the baby?
- I don't really understand it.
515
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,572
- Huh?
- That's Matt.
516
00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:35,707
Oh, Matt is like--
as the baby--
517
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,620
Doing a face.
518
00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:39,795
- Oh, my God.
- It's something.
519
00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:44,281
Can we all take in the weird
headless, bodyless baby torsos?
520
00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:45,724
She dug them out.
- Remember these?
521
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,760
Oh, Jules,
it's hard to forget.
522
00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,625
[laughs]
523
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:57,032
[upbeat music]
524
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,286
Dad, any luck?
525
00:17:58,338 --> 00:17:59,768
I want to play my song.
526
00:17:59,817 --> 00:18:02,037
Oh, my God, please get
your boots out of my freezer.
527
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,691
Well, I'm trying to make--
when you put sacks of water,
528
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,905
and then the ice--
oh, it hasn't froze yet.
529
00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:09,515
When the ice freezes,
it make the ice go out...
530
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:10,516
- Expands?
- And then the--
531
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,087
'cause my bunions--ooh, no.
532
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,144
It popped.
[bleep].
533
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,219
I knew this was a problem.
534
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,838
Who puts bags of water
in their shoes?
535
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,359
- People with bunions.
- Nikki, see if your phone's...
536
00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:20,622
- Aw, Nikki.
- Connected to it.
537
00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:21,804
Oh, wait. Here we go.
Bluetooth pairing.
538
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:23,359
I really want
to play you guys the song
539
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,446
that I just recorded.
- Come on, Luigi.
540
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:27,495
I'm really nervous
about my dad hearing this song,
541
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,941
because he's very critical.
542
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,939
Hardly.
543
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:34,591
Ask anyone.
Dad, you are critical.
544
00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:35,585
It's just the way you are.
545
00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:36,546
I'm not drinking red wine
546
00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:38,473
on that white couch.
547
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,468
Andrew was like,
I see where you get it from.
548
00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:41,950
Your dad is very critical,
549
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,820
and that's
what makes you very critical.
550
00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,391
Andrew's pretty easy
to be critical of.
551
00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:47,208
No, I'm just kidding.
[laughs]
552
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,556
I rest my case.
553
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,385
Ugh. I'm kind of nervous.
554
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,093
Mm. Ugh.
- All right.
555
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,272
[music playing]
556
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,229
[playing on speaker]
- ♪ This is not a complaint
557
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:01,399
Oh, whoa.
558
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:04,234
♪ I am not against fame
559
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:07,153
♪ But I wanna run away,
and I wanna find a friend ♪
560
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:10,059
♪ I wanna let someone in
561
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:12,365
[singing along]
♪ But I am alone
562
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:15,332
♪ August, you were the one
who put seeds in the sand ♪
563
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,031
♪ You let go of what's real
564
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:21,329
♪ Even though I know
I can't-- ♪
565
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,937
Sounds like Anya
in the background.
566
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:26,117
But I did harmonies for this,
so it might be me.
567
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,375
[harmonizing]
♪ Make me so restless
568
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,778
Sounds like you.
569
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:32,210
[harmonizing]
♪ I'll always be the one
570
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:35,168
♪ Who bares my bones
in bright moonlight ♪
571
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,127
♪ I do not see how--
572
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,306
Sounds good.
573
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,741
♪ Couldn't trust me
574
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:44,567
♪ But it feels like the end
575
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,228
That sounds good, honey.
576
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:48,542
♪ I just know it's the end
577
00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:49,798
- It sounds killer.
- Doesn't it sound good?
578
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,280
- Oh, my God.
- It sounds great.
579
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,240
My dad actually liked it.
580
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:56,409
When your harshest critic,
with his amazing voice,
581
00:19:56,456 --> 00:19:58,676
likes something,
it gives me hope that, like,
582
00:19:58,719 --> 00:19:59,939
the masses could like it.
583
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:02,071
The whole song
is really good.
584
00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:03,423
You deliver it really well.
585
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:05,163
Your voice is good.
- No, it's so good.
586
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,604
Anyone can do anything
if you work hard enough.
587
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,381
It's about putting in
those 10,000 hours.
588
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:14,385
I probably have, like,
9,983 hours to go.
589
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,820
So...
590
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,997
can we wrap this up?
'Cause I got to go practice.
591
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:21,183
I'm like Michael Jordan
when he played baseball.
592
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,830
Except--
- [chuckles]
593
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:26,573
I'm like Michael Jordan
if he started doing pop music.
594
00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:29,096
I don't need to compare myself
to Michael Jordan.
595
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,320
I'm more of a Scottie Pippen.
596
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:31,749
[both laugh]
597
00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:35,278
Next time...
598
00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:36,891
You think I should change
my material at all
599
00:20:36,931 --> 00:20:39,631
with Chris and my mom and dad
going to my show in Chicago?
600
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,073
They've never been
sitting next to each other
601
00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:44,289
while they have to hear jokes
about me and Chris.
602
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:47,290
Fluids are being exchanged.
I don't know how to put that.
603
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:48,603
Off to Chicago.
604
00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:50,068
Bird sanctuary.
605
00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,378
[bird squawking]
- Hello.
606
00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:53,304
How these people live
like this.
607
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,339
This is heaven.
[birds squawking]
608
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:56,604
[crowd cheering]
609
00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:57,866
Blowjobs are intimate as well.
610
00:20:57,908 --> 00:20:59,688
If you go too deep,
it hits your heart.
611
00:20:59,736 --> 00:21:00,996
What do you think
of that one?
612
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:02,962
For the love of Glase.
42595
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