Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,071
She's inappropriate,
but in charge.
2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:05,206
-She's The Mick.
-Can I have some more ice cream?
3
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:06,240
Oh! Aaah!
4
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,741
Catch all-new episodes Tuesdays,
5
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,310
and check out
our other Fox programs--
6
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,080
New Girl, Son of Zorn
and Lethal Weapon.
7
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,847
-That's attractive.
-Why would they--
8
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,849
Only on Fox.
9
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:19,653
(doorbell rings)
10
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:22,356
(exhales sharply, sniffs)
11
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:24,658
(sighs)
12
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,427
Hey, Chippy.
13
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,162
Your hot piece of aunt around?
14
00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:29,730
We've been over this, Jerry.
15
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,565
She's not interested.
16
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:34,268
Neither was my first wife,
but I wore her down, too.
17
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,437
It's a little process
I call "erosion."
18
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,738
Oh, what a love story.
19
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:38,672
(chuckles)
Sabrina.
20
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,108
You seen Mickey?
No.
21
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:41,509
She hasn't been here
the past few nights.
22
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,010
It's been awesome.
23
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,445
Hey, I'll take care of this.
24
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,013
Ooh.
Beat it, Berlin.
25
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,047
You got no business here.
26
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:48,382
And you do?
27
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,452
New rule: if Mickey's not here,
neither are you two.
28
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,687
Well, I just came by
to drop off flowers.
29
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,589
Oh, well, I'll just make sure
she gets them.
30
00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,391
She enjoy my chocolates?
31
00:00:57,425 --> 00:00:59,293
Yeah, big time.
It's amazing how easy it is
32
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,562
to change Jerry to Jimmy
on a card.
33
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,297
All right, you listen to me,
you son of a bitch...
34
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:04,865
You listen to me, Berlin.
35
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,201
I've been working this girl
for ten years.
36
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:09,937
I am this close
to locking her down.
37
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:11,372
Yeah, well, that's too bad,
because I'm gonna be
38
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,873
coming around,
39
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,308
and around and around,
40
00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:16,210
just like a cement mixer.
41
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:17,311
Oh, yeah? Well, here's
the funny thing about
42
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:18,746
a cement mixer, Chip,
and I've been meaning
43
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:19,947
to tell you this,
they're too slow!
44
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,387
(grunting)
45
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,555
Screw you, pretty boy!
46
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,557
Pretty boy? I'm uglier than you!
47
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,959
(yells)
48
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,563
Hot day today, huh?
49
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,932
Yeah. You must be bacon
in the sun.
50
00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,301
Because I'm a pig?
51
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,302
I get it.
You get it?
52
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:42,303
Yeah.
That's good.
53
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:44,172
(laughs)
54
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,407
(snarling)
55
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,775
This is embarrassing.
56
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,610
SABRINA:
And over Mickey, too.
57
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:50,778
I don't get it.
58
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,516
(grunting)
59
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,452
Wow. Hey, Mick.
60
00:01:58,486 --> 00:01:59,687
Hey, beautiful.
61
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,456
At ease, gentlemen.
62
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,091
(moaning)
63
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,993
Ooh.
64
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:07,195
Where the hell have you been?
65
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,862
I was at a job interview.
66
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,364
(scoffs) There's no way
you're up for a job
67
00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:11,632
where you look like that.
68
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,100
Don't worry about where I was.
69
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,502
Lipstick, perfume,
clothes that don't look
70
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:16,270
like you got them
out of a duffel bag.
71
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,105
You were with a man.
What's his name?
72
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,807
I don't know what
you guys are talking about.
73
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,675
He must be hideous if you
won't bring him by the house.
74
00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,010
I'm just saying,
you parade Jimmy around
75
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:24,044
like he's some sort of prize.
76
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,946
This guy must be a real troll.
77
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,481
Dante is not a troll.
78
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:29,183
Dante! His name's Dante.
79
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,718
Uh-huh.
And what's wrong with him?
80
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:32,119
You're clearly embarrassed.
81
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,487
I'm embarrassed of you guys!
82
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,022
All right?
Fine. There.
83
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,624
I really like this guy and
I don't want to scare him off
84
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,858
with all my baggage.
85
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:39,960
We're baggage?
Yeah.
86
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,462
You, Jimmy,
the FBI car sitting out front.
87
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,197
Believe it or not, it's not
the most attractive package.
88
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,498
CHIP:
That's it.
89
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,567
I got enough to worry about
with those two idiots,
90
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,068
now I got to take on a third?
91
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,237
BEN:
Guys.
92
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,704
Carrot's been acting weird
93
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:52,240
since bath time.
94
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,507
Can you fix him?
95
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:54,508
Aah.
96
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,876
I got this.
97
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,182
Alba!
98
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:09,423
Okay. Who's ready to
be lucky Carrot #12?
99
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:12,893
Twelve? As in, Ben's killed
11 other bunnies?
100
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,028
Well... not all at once. It's...
101
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,897
just easier to buy in bulk.
102
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,266
Oh, my God, Alba,
you're nurturing
103
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,533
a future serial killer.
104
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,770
I admit, the body count
does bring great shame.
105
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,171
(scoffs)
But it is easier
106
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,540
than explaining death
to his fragile little mind.
107
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:29,109
No! Alba, you can't protect him
forever.
108
00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:32,079
Okay. You're right.
109
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,548
No more enabling Ben.
110
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:36,384
You tell him.
111
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,788
Or this is the last Carrot,
and he lives
112
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:43,090
a long, healthy life.
113
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:44,191
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
114
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,259
Last Carrot.
115
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:47,160
Last Carrot.
Come on, little guy.
116
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,410
Show yourself, troll.
117
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,380
Gotcha.
118
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,581
Hey, Dante!
119
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,817
Yeah, you.
120
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,285
Chip... Get out of here.
121
00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:13,487
Look, I got nothing
against you, personally.
122
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,222
But I don't need
another mangled goon
123
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,391
around my house,
stinking up the place.
124
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,493
So how about you do
everyone a favor,
125
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:22,330
hop back on your tugboat
and sail to Garbage Island.
126
00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:25,466
Chip, I don't know this man.
Just bumming a smoke.
127
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,736
Thank you, sir.
128
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,338
Now get the hell out of here.
No.
129
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,505
Sup, Mick.
(groans)
130
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,106
Are you ready to roll?
131
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,643
Who the hell's this guy?
132
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:36,677
(sighs)
133
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:38,846
Dante, Chip. Chip, Dante.
134
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,748
That can't be right.
135
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,751
This guy's too big and
handsome to be Dante.
136
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,686
(chuckles)
I'm sorry to disappoint.
137
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,754
Who are you?
138
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:47,721
(sighs)
139
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,927
He wants to meet us? Why?
140
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,863
I don't know. If it were up
to me, Dante wouldn't even know
141
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,197
you two existed, but
Chip ruined that.
142
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,199
Oh. Who's Dante?
143
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,768
Bring me up to speed.
144
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,636
He's Mickey's new sex troll.
145
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:03,637
What?
146
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,038
Well, not exactly a troll.
147
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,340
I mean, obviously,
something's wrong with him
148
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:07,508
if he's dating her.
149
00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,543
Whoa, wha-- uh,
dating him?
150
00:05:09,577 --> 00:05:12,045
Why? What's wrong with me?
151
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,681
Well, for starters,
I'm not programmed in his phone
152
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,215
as "Vito's Pizzeria."
153
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,884
Really? Again?
154
00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,218
Look, when we first
started plugging,
155
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,953
I was nailing this bird
from the airport,
156
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,556
so I had to disguise your
aunt's phone number in my phone.
157
00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:24,658
Yeah, and ten years
later, I'm still pizza.
158
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:25,959
All right. Take a breath.
159
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,461
I'll change your name
in my phone.
160
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,029
No, you're not getting it.
It's not about that.
161
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,330
It's too late, Jimmy.
162
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,299
I'm Dante's pizza now.
163
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,367
Ugh.
164
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:34,535
Can you guys please,
just do me this one favor?
165
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:37,505
No way!
We're already at capacity.
166
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:38,539
What if we get rid of Jimmy?
167
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,740
Deal.
Sold.
168
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,674
Pack your bags, Jimbo.
169
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,910
Y-You're chucking me?
170
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,145
After all I've done for you?
171
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,280
Sorry, but the people
have spoken.
172
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,818
Oh.
173
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,886
Yeah.
174
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,088
Yeah. Fine.
175
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,024
'Cause I've got
about a million other places
176
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,359
I'd rather be right now.
177
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,865
Okay, great. Uh,
Dante's coming over
178
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,166
to pick me up later tonight,
179
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:10,237
so if you could just do me
a favor and not be jackasses
180
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,873
for five minutes,
that's all.
181
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,508
Yeah, fine.
182
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,243
MICKEY:
Okay.
183
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,845
This'll be fun.
Let's make it quick, though,
184
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,547
'cause I don't want
to miss the previews.
185
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,415
Hey, kids! Come on down!
186
00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:24,418
There they are!
My little monkeys!
187
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:26,253
Oh, boy. Here we go.
This is Sabrina,
188
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,755
this is Ben,
189
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,590
and this is Chip, you already
met Chip, right? The other day.
190
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,358
DANTE:
Sup, y'all.
191
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,694
It's nice to finally meet
you guys. I'm Dante.
192
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,429
Good evening.
Pleasure is ours.
193
00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,730
How do you do?
194
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,432
Okay! Have a good night--
finish your homework.
195
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:41,101
Like good little, little,
little guys.
196
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:42,436
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
197
00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:43,704
I'm not buying that.
198
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,606
The homework thing, or the...
No, no, no. All of it.
199
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,608
Let me guess, uh, she
told you to be nice
200
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:48,776
to the new guy, right?
What?
201
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:49,910
(chuckling):
Don't be silly.
202
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:51,044
Oh, come on, come on.
203
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,613
My foster mom, she used
to do the same thing
204
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,281
every time she brought
a new boyfriend home.
205
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,749
You were a foster kid?
206
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:59,286
Yup. I was. So stop playing
games with me and be real.
207
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:02,255
'Cause I know you don't
want to be here, right?
208
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,725
It's pure hell.
209
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,460
You bitch! You bitch,
we had a deal!
Ah!
210
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,128
DANTE: Okay, okay.
She's being honest.
211
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,797
That's all. I'm sure they
all got burning questions
212
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,499
for me, so hit it.
No. No, no, no, no.
213
00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:12,933
Let's go to the
movie, please.
214
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,502
How about we just stay
here and hang out?
215
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,636
'Cause we're just
getting started, right?
216
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,104
Yeah.
217
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,606
DANTE:
So this guy,
218
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,973
that my foster
mom dated,
219
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,109
Big Steve. We tortured
his ass so bad
220
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,677
that he nearly
lost his mind.
221
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,312
I mean, we took the
air out of his tires,
222
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,347
we even donated his
clothes to charity.
223
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,950
(laughter)
Don't give them any ideas,
they're horrible.
224
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:30,984
It works.
225
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,520
Hey, wow. What about this idea?
226
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:33,821
MICKEY:
What?
What?
227
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:34,988
(chuckles)
What? Jimmy.
228
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,156
What?
229
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,257
What are you doing here?
230
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,926
(laughs)
231
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,093
Come on.
232
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,662
I wanted to see
a perfect family.
233
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:42,863
Mr. Perfect?
234
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,932
I'm Mr. Not Good Enough.
235
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,600
Jimmy, go sleep
it off somewhere,
236
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,468
you are really making
an ass of yourself.
237
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:52,105
Yeah, go home, dude.
No, I'm not going
anywhere, Chip.
238
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,140
Dante, kick his ass.
239
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:55,943
Sabrina, I'm right here.
(snickers)
240
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,045
Jimmy...
I suppose you want me
to go too, Ben?
241
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,313
Who are you?
242
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,782
That one hurts.
MICKEY:
Okay.
243
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,016
No, no, no, no, no,
I got it.
244
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,652
It hurts.
Jimmy.
245
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,019
Yeah.
Come here, let me talk
to you for a second.
246
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,020
Come here, come on.
Oh.
247
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:08,188
No, I'm not gonna hit you.
248
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,322
Come on, come on.
249
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,792
Okay, look, I get it,
I get it, okay?
250
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,793
She's dope.
251
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,494
I get it, man.
252
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:15,696
But you can't do
it like this.
253
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:16,697
You love her?
254
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,732
I freakin' love
her so much.
255
00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:19,867
You love
her so much.
256
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,068
And you're a
good guy, right?
257
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,202
I'm a really good guy.
258
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,203
Yeah.
259
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,172
So, look, respect her decision.
260
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:28,075
Go home, sleep it off.
261
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,810
All right?
Come on. Let's go.
262
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,979
*
Sleep it off.
263
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,814
Yeah.
264
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,149
I'm gonna sleep it off.
265
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,885
* Sunshine
266
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,420
* Opens up my day
267
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:47,294
* A cool breeze
blows along my way *
268
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:54,401
* There's no time to work,
it's time to play *
269
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:01,909
* Looks like love's
the only way *
270
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:07,214
* And I'm happy
just to be alive *
271
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:10,918
* Happy just to be alive
272
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:15,122
* Happy just
to be alive, yeah *
273
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:18,125
* All right.
274
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:22,963
*
275
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:23,964
Hey, buddy.
276
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,066
So, where's Carrot?
277
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,235
Carrot's not coming.
Um...
278
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,569
SABRINA:
Uh...
279
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:30,470
Why don't you
have a seat?
280
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,972
We got to talk.
281
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:33,841
Ben...
282
00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:36,576
Carrot's dead.
283
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:37,911
Dead how?
284
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:39,412
Like a cell phone?
285
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:40,748
Oh, no, no, Benito.
286
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:44,718
The bunny that you knew
as Carrot is no more.
287
00:09:44,752 --> 00:09:48,221
He-he is up in the big
sky with Jesus now.
288
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,423
Oh. Didn't realize we
were going this route.
289
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,425
ALBA: See, in the
Catholic religion,
290
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,927
we believe that
when you die,
291
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,929
your soul separates
from your body
292
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:58,899
then you are judged
by the Lord.
293
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,769
And it is up to him to decide
if you live your eternal life
294
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:04,638
in Heaven or cast down
into the fiery pits of Hell
295
00:10:04,672 --> 00:10:06,573
with the devils.
296
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,676
So Carrot's in Hell?
297
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,177
No, No.
No.
298
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,478
SABRINA: No,
ALBA: No.
299
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,946
I'm sure Carrot was
a very good bunny
300
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,114
and he's in heaven.
Sí.
301
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,783
But he wasn't a good bunny.
302
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,450
He couldn't do any tricks
303
00:10:17,484 --> 00:10:19,519
and he always
pooped on the floor.
304
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,822
He's gonna burn forever.
305
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,859
Well...
306
00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:27,360
only until
he's reincarnated.
307
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:30,297
When he comes back as
another living thing.
308
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,965
So Carrot can come back
as a monkey?
309
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,600
I've always wanted a monkey.
310
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,336
Okay, now you see why
I do the things I do.
311
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,171
Yep, I get it.
312
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:40,473
Oh, guys, thank you so much
for having me again.
313
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:41,374
(all chuckle)
314
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,110
You got an amazing
family, Mick.
315
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,878
Yeah, they're
all right.
316
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,546
That's funny,
I thought we were your baggage.
317
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,716
(laughing):
Oh, you are so stupid.
318
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,483
She's so stupid.
DANTE:
That's crazy.
319
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,651
You want to see real baggage?
320
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,386
I carry mine
with me every day.
321
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,354
See this?
322
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:58,125
September 26th, 1983.
323
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,394
Bob Forsch, he pitched a
no-hitter against the Expos.
324
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,496
That was the last day
I saw my father.
325
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,564
Oof.
326
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,632
(all groan)
DANTE: Yeah.
327
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,967
I know, I know.
328
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,635
He went to get a hot dog
during the 7th inning stretch
329
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,905
and he just... never came back.
330
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:12,973
Oh, no.
CHIP: He walked out
on a no-hitter?
331
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:13,807
That's awful.
Yeah.
332
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,308
Yeah.
333
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,910
Well, I don't want
to be insensitive,
334
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:18,678
but, uh, compared
to these guys,
335
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:21,414
that baggage is kind of like a
carry-on, you know what I mean?
336
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,384
(laughter)
We are pretty terrible.
337
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,019
So I guess I'm being a bitch.
You're being a little bit
of a bitch.
338
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:27,387
Okay. All right.
Cheers, bitch.
339
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,389
All right, who wants some pie?
(all exclaiming)
340
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,323
Okay.
I do!
341
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,691
Chip, go get us some pie, man.
342
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,061
(snickers)
No way. Make Alba do it.
343
00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,695
What are you talking about?
344
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,397
Alba, she busted her hump
in the kitchen all day.
345
00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:38,899
Yeah, it's your turn
to pitch in.
346
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,401
(laughs)
Yeah, right.
347
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:44,637
Buddy, I ain't asking.
348
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,247
(grunting)
349
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,349
This is my house,
you son of a bitch!
350
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:57,417
I make the rules!
351
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,718
I don't get you pie,
352
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:00,387
you get me pie!
353
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:01,721
Don't touch me!
354
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:02,856
(yells)
355
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:03,723
Chip?
356
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,893
Chip?
Hmm?
357
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:06,994
What's up?
358
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,763
Go get the pie, dude.
359
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,900
Pie.
360
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,734
(Dante chuckles)
Yeah.
361
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,636
Make mine à la mode.
362
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,171
(both laugh)
363
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,575
Dante must be destroyed.
364
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,044
Yeah, that's all
well and good,
365
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,913
but what the hell is
this jerk doing here?
366
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,480
Yeah, where's Mickey?
367
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,481
She's not coming.
368
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,783
I texted you from her phone.
369
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:31,251
(groans)
370
00:12:31,284 --> 00:12:32,920
Piece of advice, kid,
371
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,587
don't tell a guy
there's a sure thing
372
00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:35,655
when there isn't.
373
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:36,790
Certain medications
374
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:37,925
have been set
into motion
375
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,993
that cannot be unset.
376
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,094
What do you got,
blues?
377
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,263
Yeah, what do you
know about it?
378
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,497
Well, they're expensive.
379
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,732
I got a guy.
380
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,134
Yeah, me too.
He's called a doctor.
381
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,468
Focus, idiots.
382
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,403
While you two bond over
your sexual shortcomings,
383
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,172
Dante's sweeping
Mick off her feet.
384
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,507
What are
you proposing?
385
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,009
We join forces.
386
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:57,444
Kid's right.
387
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:58,846
He's perfect for her.
388
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,180
We got to get
rid of him.
389
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,614
What's the plan, Chip?
390
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,750
Well, the guy loves kids, right?
391
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,285
Yeah.
392
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:07,955
Well, what if he loved kids
a little too much?
393
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,390
*
394
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:21,301
I got to say, Chip,
I don't know about this.
395
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,036
Relax, we're not
showing my face.
396
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,105
Just tossing a couple photos
on this guy's hard drive.
397
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,874
I got to say, branding this
guy a child molester...
398
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,475
I love it.
399
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,809
Let's see how Dante likes his
pie in prison.
400
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,144
(door bursts open)
FBI!
401
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,913
Whoa!
CHIP:
Whoa, whoa!
402
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,715
It's not what it looks like.
403
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,317
WOMAN: And now I'd like
to say a few words.
404
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,451
Hey, Ben,
(TV turns off)
405
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,553
I heard you lost
your bunny recently,
406
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,189
so I thought I'd
do you one better.
407
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,157
A puppy?
Mm-hmm.
408
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,126
No way!
409
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,494
Thanks, Dante.
You got it, buddy.
410
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,729
Aw.
(laughs)
411
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,335
You're so good to me.
412
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,170
Well, why wouldn't I be?
413
00:13:57,204 --> 00:14:00,173
I love being around you,
I love being around your family.
414
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:02,009
And I love you.
415
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,377
I...
416
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,846
I love you, too.
417
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,348
"I love you"?
418
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,017
Who says that?
419
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,185
Oh, my God, is he some kind
of frickin' psycho?
420
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,254
Hello, Mickey, is
everything okay?
421
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,723
No!
Dante just told me he loved me.
422
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,091
Well...
Ew!
423
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,192
Do you love him?
424
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,860
(yells, then groans)
425
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,595
I mean, I should, right?
426
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:23,763
I don't know. No!
427
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:24,998
Oh, God, he's great.
428
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,099
He's a great guy.
Yes.
429
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,600
He's got a great job.
Oh, yeah.
430
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:28,601
He's a frickin' tiger
in the sack.
Oh.
431
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:29,536
Treats me like princess.
Mm-hmm.
432
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,438
The kids love him.
Oh, yeah.
433
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,606
I mean, he just got Ben a puppy!
Wait, he did what?!
434
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,775
What is wrong with me?
I should love him, right?
435
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,877
What kind of dog are
we talking about?
Forget about the dog!
436
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,112
It's not about the dog, okay?
No...
437
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:40,447
What is wrong with me?
438
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,848
Alba, I have
this perfect guy,
439
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,716
and this perfect little
family and I'm not happy.
440
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:46,053
Alba, oh, God, I am
never gonna be happy.
441
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:47,187
Oh, no!
No.
442
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,855
Okay, okay, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
443
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,057
Don't go there.
Don't go there, no.
444
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,259
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
445
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,294
This is the
American dream.
446
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:57,030
Okay? To have everything
you ever wanted,
447
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,531
and still be miserable.
448
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,866
What?!
Oh, yeah.
449
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:00,934
Look, I know what you need.
450
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:02,069
Hold on one moment.
(groaning)
451
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:05,405
Oh, no, I don't like this.
It feels bad.
452
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,040
Look, look, look.
Calm down.
453
00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,142
What's this?
Poodle's little helpers.
454
00:15:09,176 --> 00:15:11,578
Well, how do you think
she got by all these years?
455
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,483
Okay, hey, Ben,
456
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,418
we need to talk about
your new pet, okay?
457
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,620
New? He's not new.
458
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,556
Carrot got reincarnated
into a puppy.
459
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,791
This is so neat.
460
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:26,793
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, it's not, Ben.
461
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,996
Okay, gimme... okay.
Okay.
462
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:31,264
Listen to me, buddy, this
is gonna be hard to hear,
463
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,666
but it's for your
own good, okay?
464
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,403
When someone dies,
they don't come back.
465
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,506
There is no heaven
or hell or reincarnation.
466
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:42,409
This isn't Carrot.
They're gone.
467
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,677
And you can't see 'em
anymore.
468
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,414
Are Mommy and
Daddy dead, too.
469
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,483
No, no, no!
What?!
Of course not.
470
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,019
Why would you say that?
471
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,686
Because you always say
the same stuff
472
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,488
about Mommy and Daddy.
473
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,290
But this is different.
474
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,192
Mommy and Daddy
just run away...
475
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:03,196
No, but not because
they do not want to be here,
476
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,465
but because they can't.
477
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,101
I don't believe you.
I think they're dead.
478
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,869
You're just trying
to cheer me up
479
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,838
with a stupid puppy!
480
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,311
JIMMY: What do you want?
You want me to wear a wire?
481
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,180
I'll wear a wire.
FBI AGENT: Relax.
482
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,549
I'm not busting you.
483
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,451
I'm on your side.
484
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,852
What are you
talking about?
485
00:16:25,885 --> 00:16:28,355
I like Mickey, too.
486
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:31,024
What? You got to
be kidding me.
487
00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,292
Wha--? Another one?
488
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,061
Does it look like
I'm kidding?
489
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:36,229
She's the sun in my sky.
490
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,231
Yes, I'm talking to you.
491
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,832
That little stunt
in the motel--
492
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,301
that was some sloppy
work, boys. I mean,
493
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,403
sure, you may get him
locked up for a few days,
494
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:44,871
but then what?
495
00:16:44,904 --> 00:16:46,339
You got a better idea?
496
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,875
You really want to
get rid of this bastard,
497
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,843
you got to be surgical.
498
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:56,183
Everybody has a weakness.
499
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,052
Oh...
500
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:02,855
Hey, pal.
501
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,357
Where's the puppy?
502
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,825
I don't know.
503
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,827
She's probably in hell
with Mommy and Daddy,
504
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,429
getting torn apart
by demons.
505
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:12,999
Buddy, don't say that.
Your parents aren't dead.
506
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,867
SABRINA: Not anymore they're
not-- they're right here.
507
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,270
Yes, your mommy and daddy
have been
508
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:19,072
reincarnated into bunnies.
509
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:21,408
Are you friggin'
serious?!
510
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,276
Yes.
Yeah.
511
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,277
See, Benito?
512
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,413
Now you will never
513
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,281
feel pain again.
514
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,683
Ease up on
the hugging, though.
515
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,086
Okay, guys, I know,
I'm new here, right?
516
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,354
But do you think this is
the best way
517
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,722
to handle this situation?
518
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:38,525
You're right.
You are new here.
519
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,294
Mick? Hey, can you
come down here for a minute?
520
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:42,929
MICKEY: Coming.
521
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,465
Hi, guys.
522
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:46,799
Hi.
Hi.
523
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:49,369
DANTE: You good?
Me? Oh, yeah.
524
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,770
Yeah. What's up?
525
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:53,473
Okay, well, we got a little
situation with Ben over here.
526
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,074
Wha-what situation?
527
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:57,043
We just convinced him
his parents are bunnies.
528
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,446
SABRINA: Yeah, I mean,
come on, butt out, dude.
Uh-huh.
529
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,813
We wouldn't be in this
mess in the first place
530
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,615
if it weren't for
your stupid dog.
531
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,118
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa,
ladies, ladies, hey,
532
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,553
Ben's gonna be okay.
533
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,955
We're all gonna be okay,
534
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,290
'cause I fixed
everything.
535
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:13,826
Okay, Mick, what are those?
536
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,262
Antidepressants.
537
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,830
(long exhale)
538
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,300
We're gonna check
on the bunny food.
Yeah.
539
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:23,170
All right, so, um,
tell me something.
540
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:24,937
Since when are you depressed?
541
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,807
Since not anymore, thanks
to these little ladies.
542
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,709
(doorbell rings)
Okay, I'm
gonna get that.
543
00:18:33,012 --> 00:18:34,981
Hi, is, uh, Dante here?
544
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:37,250
Who are you?
545
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,885
I'm his father.
546
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,826
MICKEY (over radio):
Who are you?
MAN: I'm his father.
547
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,928
How do you know this guy?
He's a C.I. who owes me.
548
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,530
Scumbag violated his parole,
549
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:51,831
so I told him,
"Do me a favor
550
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,866
"and play the role
of Dante's father,
551
00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:57,170
or do 20 years."
(chuckles)
552
00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:59,839
Dante's gonna be
so caught up in this mess,
553
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,275
he isn't gonna have time
for a relationship with Mickey.
554
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:04,110
Uh, I'm sorry,
do I know you?
555
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,678
It's me, Dante.
556
00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,547
Your father.
557
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,118
Dad?
558
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,954
I been waiting for
this moment a long time.
559
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,824
Is that a hot dog?
560
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,459
MAN: I got a little
something for you.
561
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,794
The dog, Dante, take the dog.
562
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,496
No, I-I-I know it's
kind of late,
563
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:25,465
but, you know.
564
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,268
Wow.
(laughing)
565
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,305
(all exclaim)
Okay, we need
to step in!
566
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:33,273
Go, go, go!
567
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:37,810
You owe me a childhood,
you son of a bitch!
568
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,812
MICKEY: Ooh.
569
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:42,181
That's some baggage that won't
fit in your pocket.
570
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,816
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop, you got it all wrong.
571
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,252
That's not even
your dad.
572
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,519
Whoa!
Oh...
573
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:47,520
Oh...
574
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,489
What?
He hammered me.
575
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,024
Wait, what's going on?
Who are you people?
576
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,493
We're the guys that are
supposed to be with Mick.
577
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:55,528
No, I'm the guy that's
supposed to be with Mick.
578
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:56,863
These guys are no good.
579
00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:58,030
Yeah, if you were
supposed to be
580
00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,098
with her, you'd be with her.
581
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:01,100
Yeah, back off. She's mine.
582
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,535
Who are you?
583
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:05,272
Oh, come on, quit
messing around.
584
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,573
We see each other
every day.
585
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,708
You kidding?
586
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,577
You really don't
know who I am?
587
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,514
Mr. Piggy?
(giggles)
588
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,583
Oink, oink?
(giggles)
589
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,084
Kevin Bacon?
590
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:20,753
Jon Hamm?
Ringing any bells?
591
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:23,222
Are you the Fed?
Yes!
592
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,392
These clowns all
like you, Mickey.
593
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,260
I don't know why.
It's a whole thing.
594
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:29,128
All right, you guys
need to leave.
595
00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:30,597
Just pipe down there, orphan.
596
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:31,898
(laughs)
What'd you say to me?
597
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,766
Yeah, that's right,
you heard him, home wrecker.
598
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,568
All right, enough is enough.
599
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,937
Who's it gonna be, Mick?
600
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,806
(laughing)
601
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,908
Come on...
602
00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:43,943
Oh, no.
603
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,878
Oh, Dante,
604
00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,915
you're so big
and so good,
605
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,383
but it's just, like,
it's too much.
606
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,751
Ugh, you know?
607
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,152
Ach, to you.
608
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,987
And you, eh...
609
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:56,823
too "uncle-ly."
610
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,458
Yeah.
611
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:02,094
I mean, (scoffs)
that pig stuff...
612
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:03,596
Jimmy,
613
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,765
you're just, you're too...
614
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:06,833
you're too forgiving.
615
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,469
Oh, hey, it's
not your fault.
616
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:10,437
Oh...
617
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:15,508
Can I ask you a question?
Did she say uncle-ly or ugly?
618
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:16,609
Uncle-ly.
619
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:18,445
Nice. I'm in.
You're not in.
620
00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:19,612
What are you talking
about, you're in?
621
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:20,613
(all talking at once)
622
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:21,748
(motorcycle starts)
623
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,616
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
624
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:25,918
Hey, Mick, we're confused.
625
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,287
Who do you choose?
626
00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:30,256
I don't know what I want.
627
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,924
(chuckles)
628
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,960
But I think I'm gonna
find it out there.
629
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:36,963
Hang back with the kids
for me, okay, Jimmy?
630
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:39,332
You got it, Mick.
631
00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:42,469
(engine revs)
632
00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:43,803
Whoa!
Oh, ew.
633
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,275
What a woman.
634
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,911
Oh, that's my girl.
635
00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:54,981
OLD MAN:
He hammered me.
636
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:56,849
Captioning sponsored by
20TH CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
637
00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:01,053
Now that you've gotten
to know The Mick,
638
00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:03,890
here are a few more shows
to check out
from Fox.
639
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,192
(gunshot)
640
00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:09,496
(gunshot)
641
00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:11,564
(retching)
642
00:22:11,598 --> 00:22:13,332
(gunshot)
643
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:15,502
No one rode around
on a horse, screaming,
644
00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:17,670
"The British are coming,
the British are coming"?
No.
645
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:19,406
I think I need to fix
something very important.
646
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:26,145
I have questions about
colonial Massachusetts.
It's urgent.
647
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:30,583
You have urgent questions
about colonial Massachusetts?
Yes!
648
00:22:30,617 --> 00:22:32,685
I play a character named Dan,
649
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:36,155
who is a bit of a loser
and has figured out a way
650
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,157
to time travel.
651
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,726
A really big duffel bag?
652
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:42,228
It's a time machine.
I go to the past
every weekend.
653
00:22:42,261 --> 00:22:43,863
Sometimes on Tuesdays.
Get in.
654
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:45,765
Never. No.
655
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,737
-You invented time travel.
-Yup.
656
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:55,007
When he goes back to the past,
he is instantly high status.
657
00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:57,844
He's a stud 'cause
he's got all his teeth.
658
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,846
He smells nice
'cause he showers.
659
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,781
Doesn't have
any big diseases.
Right.
660
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,850
So I just gotta see
my girlfriend real quick.
661
00:23:03,883 --> 00:23:05,552
What, you're dating
someone in the past?
662
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:07,520
Look, I told you,
I'm really popular
around here.
663
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:09,522
And I think that
that can be very appealing,
664
00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:11,190
when you have a chance
to reinvent yourself.
665
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:13,460
You always know
just what to say.
666
00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:15,428
You complete me.
Ah!
667
00:23:15,462 --> 00:23:17,530
PALLY: Dan will be visiting
colonial times.
668
00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:19,899
He'll be visiting
the early 1920s Chicago.
669
00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:22,735
-I am Al Capone.
-(crowd gasps)
670
00:23:23,670 --> 00:23:24,771
(chuckles)
671
00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:26,639
He gets to deal
with Paul Revere.
672
00:23:26,673 --> 00:23:29,976
Is it true that you've
been courting Deborah Revere?
673
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:31,944
Your girlfriend is
Paul Revere's daughter?
674
00:23:31,978 --> 00:23:33,780
Yes?
675
00:23:33,813 --> 00:23:35,448
The British can wait
676
00:23:35,482 --> 00:23:38,551
until I find and kill
Deborah's suitor.
677
00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:41,420
I'm Tom Cruise.
This is Magic Johnson.
678
00:23:41,454 --> 00:23:45,224
PALLY: So his romance
may or may not
679
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,226
have screwed up
the American Revolution.
680
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:50,963
So, in 2016, black people
and white people are friends?
681
00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:51,798
Yes, exactly.
Not at all.
682
00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:52,865
What?
46758
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
