All language subtitles for The Mick S01E02 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 5.1 x264-TrollHD_track3_[eng]

She's inappropriate,
but in charge.

-She's The Mick.
-Can I have some more ice cream?

Oh! Aaah!

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-That's attractive.
-Why would they--

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(phone ringing)

Hi, it's Poodle,
leave a message.

(beep)
Oh, hey, Poodle.

Hey, it's me, Mickey, again.

Uh, remember me? The one
you saddled with your kids,

who are awful, by the way.

Listen, I was just--
I had this thought that

maybe if you had
a couple spare minutes,

you could give 'em a call

and let them know
that you fled the country

and left them
with a total stranger,

you stupid, selfish monsters!

Anyway, give me a call.

Aah!

(sighs)

(toilet flushes)
Okay.

(inhales)

(exhales)

You got this.

Ah! Touchdown!

Her turn, hit her
with a shrimp!

No, no, thank you.

I'm not trying to get hepatitis.

I want hepatitis.

Coming your way, buddy!

This is awesome, right, guys?

Why are we in a poor
person's restaurant?

What's the matter
with you?

It's not a poor person's
restaurant-- don't be an ass.

This guy's not even Japanese.
His name's Pedro.

All right, well, Hamilton
wasn't Puerto Rican,

but people seem to be
enjoying that just fine.

All right, listen, I brought
you guys here because I,

I got to tell you some pretty
big news, and it's not...

Pass.
Pass? What are...?

You gonna pop those in
right now? Are you kidding me?

Fine. Forget you.
Ben, Chip, listen.

This is going to be
pretty hard to...
Hey, Ben,

I dare you
to lick the grill.

What? Shut up!
Just listen to me.

What's it taste like?

Oh, it's delicious!
Come on,

I'll give you a thousand bucks.

No, don't. He does not have
a thousand dollars.

Boom.
Oh, my God.

You are a nightmare.
Ben, don't do it, okay?

Will you just please listen?
Sabrina, this is serious.

Don't touch
my stuff, psycho.

I just thought you might like to
know that your parents are gone

and they're not coming back.

They're dead?

No, no. Not dead.

They're definitely not dead.

But they did
flee the country.

That doesn't make any sense.
They didn't do anything wrong.

Uh, I don't, I don't,
I don't know.

I'm not going
to touch that one.

No, I don't believe you.
You're lying.

Why would I lie
about that?

Um, I don't know,
maybe because

you're a lying bitch.

Okay, look, I understand this
is really hard stuff to hear.

It's not hard to hear.

It's actually really easy.

I, like, literally
don't care at all.

Okay, well the pitch of your
voice is making it seem

like you care a lot.
I don't care!

It's just-- it's
embarrassing, that's all.

Yes, it is, it is, agreed.
It's very embarrassing.

Let's just keep
our voices down, okay?

These gentlemen are trying
to enjoy their dinner.

You think I care
about these idiots?

Uh, sorry.

What is wrong with you?
You're making a scene.

Oh, oh. I'm so, I'm so sorry.

Let me make it right.

How is that for a scene?

Dinner and a show!
Lap it up, you dogs!

Hey, get-get back
over here right now!

Oh, don't tell us what to do!
You're not our mom.

You're just looking
for a handout.
Hey, Sabrina...

You with your bad hair
and your Dumpster clothes!

I know what you're up to,
and I'll tell you something,

you're not going
to get away with that.

(sizzles)

Aah...!

Well, I hope you're
very proud of yourself.

Your brother has burned off
all of his taste buds.

CHIP: I'd like to apologize
for my behavior.

I understand, as the new
patriarch of this family,

you are all looking
to me to set the tone,

and I fell short.
Stop it, okay?

Nobody's looking to you
for anything.

Oh, I'm sorry.
You think you're in charge?

We're not gonna listen
to a single word you say.

Well, you're not gonna have to.
'Cause I'm catching

the last chopper out of Saigon.

You're leaving?

Yeah, Alba, I'm leaving.

Have you seen that car outside?
That's a pig.

Probably FBI. And I'm pretty
sure the IRS is not far behind.

And once all this is gone, Alba,
all that's left is this.

And nobody wants just this.

Well, where you gonna go?

I'm gonna go back
to Rhode Island.

Where I have
no responsibilities

and nobody to answer to.

So, unemployed and alone?

Sounds neat.

I wish I could bash you.

Okay, thank you for your
time, Mackenzie,

but I think
I've got it from here.

Oh, wonderful. I bet you do,
Chip. Great. But just in case,

I've called your dad's parents,
and they're on their way.

The colonel? No way.
That guy's a legend.

I've modeled
my entire career after him.

O-Oh, yes.
I-I like

the colonel very much.

When I was a little girl,
he came to my village

in Guatemala
and built the hospital.

And then he brought me and
my mother back to the States.

He would call me his libélula--

dragonfly.

And you've been
trapped here ever since?

Ugh.
You're like a veal.

Got to get out more.
Wait,

aren't he and Grandma Tippy,
like, 100 years old?

They sounded about 1,000
on the phone, so I'm gonna

get out of here
before I get stuck

talking about
soup or whatever.

SABRINA:
Fine, go.

You think I care?

Why are you
taking our stuff?

Call it payment
for services rendered.

You get that for living in
our mansion for three days?

Well, I was eyeing the G-wagon
but I didn't want to be

gassing up the whole time,
so I decided to go solar.

It's electric.
I know, right?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm coming with you.

What? No, you're not.

W... We are friends, yes?

Well, I mean, yeah.

We're friendly.

But I...
You know, I-I already

got the rug and...

Plus, the kids need you.

No, we don't.
Take her.

Miss Mickey,
when I

smashed that man over the head,

I felt an animal in my chest
wake up and roar.

I would very much
like to feel that again.

Okay. I mean, how am I
supposed to argue with that?

Fine, come along for a couple
days, but you got to keep up,

all right? I don't
feel like babysitting.

Otherwise I'd stay
with these animals.

Oh, uh...

but i-it's up to you, Benito.

I will only go
if I have your blessing.

Okay.
Mm.

Okay, let's go.

Well, that about does it.
Good luck to you.

Uh, take care of yourselves.

And if you need anything at all,

do not hesitate to call 911.

Hold onto your nips,

this kitty can purr.

What's shakin', bacon?

Excuse me?

You're excused.

A little hustle, please.
The colonel's waiting.
So what?

So show some respect.

He's a freaking war hero.

Dude went buck wild on Korea.

Look at this beast.

If there was ever a guy to
surrender the patriarch role to,

it's this stud.

(doorbell rings)

What?

Hello!

Oh, my goodness,

look how big
you've all gotten!

(gasps)
Sabrina.

My beautiful angel.

And Chip, such a dashing
young gentleman.

You remind me
of my husband.

Oh, and Ben,
my poor baby.

I heard about that

little accident you had.

Hello, Grandma.

Now, it has been
a long day,

so why don't we
all go upstairs

and change
into our PJs?

(chuckles)

Yeah, sorry, Grandma,
that's not gonna work for me.

I've got a party to go to
tonight. And I probably won't

get home until late, so, you
know what, don't wait up for me.

You guys... Oh!

I realize
you children

aren't used to having rules,

but all that's going
to change. Now,

be a good girl
and do as Grandma says.

No.

(gasps)
CHIP: Whoa.

I think you'll
find I have

very little tolerance
for back sass, dear.

Upstairs.

(door opens)
MICKEY: So, of course,

I'm trying to convince him
it was just a rash,

but, you know,
he wasn't buying it.
Oh.

You know, when I was
a little girl, a rash spread

through our village and nearly
took all of the women.

Oh. Right on.
Yeah.

Very cool that we both
have rash stories.
Uh-huh.

So, this is it.
Home, sweet home.

(airplane whooshes)

Oh, yeah, I live real close
to the airport.

Super convenient.
Thirsty?

Yeah.

Cheers.
Oh.

Ah.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.
Oh.

Mm, mm.
There we go.

Cheers.

(toilet flushing)

(gasps)

Jimmy?!

Holy crap,
you're alive.

Oh, you look good.

What? No. Get-Get off of me!
You look really good.

What are you doing?
Oh, I'm happy to see you.

Hi. Hey.
ALBA: Mm.

I'm Jimmy.
Oh.

I'm the boyfriend.
He's not my boyfriend.

Oh, come on. We've been plowing
for, like, ten years...

What are you
doing here, Jimmy?

Are you living in my place?

No. The...
the pipe is just, like...

Oh, the pipe?
Yeah, and it...

there's a, there's a...
you got a drippy...

I got a drippy?

(sighs)

I missed the smells.

Okay, well,
you can smell my ass

when you kiss it
good-bye. Leave.

Okay, you know what, I'm sensing
some major hostility here,

which is fine, but is it
about the car thing?

The car thing
where you ran me over?

Yeah.
Yes, it is.

Okay. Well, I said
I was sorry.

No, you didn't say
you were sorry.

I'm saying it now.

Jimmy, you didn't even stop.

I thought you were dead!

Did you stop?

Did you stop and think
about how it made me feel?

Get out!

I'm serious.
Get out.

Oh, fine!

Well, guess what.
I don't need this,

and I don't need you
and I don't need this robe.

Come on. Keep the robe.
I don't want the robe.

No, I don't want it.

It makes me think of you,
and I hate it.

Wha...

Hold on.

Did you get a new tattoo?

Yeah, I did.

I regret it.

Mm.

Oh. And a word to the wise:

that loan shark
from the Indian casino,

he's been poking around,
so when he comes to get...

He reminds me

of my cousin, Victor.

In the womb for 14 months.

Big head.

Very sad.
Yeah.

Don't pay attention to him.
He's no one.
Mm-hmm.

Hey, you want
to get out of here,

go crank the lights up
on this town?

(laughs): I don't
know what you say.

That's okay.
Uh, just take this,

and I will explain
the rest later.

Oh. No. No, thank you.

Oh, don't worry--
it's super mild.

Oh, no, no, I-I can't, 'cause
I have a sensitive stomach.

Me, too. Just take half.
No, it's-it's no good.

Just put it on your tongue
and tell me what it tastes like.

I can't do it! It's not good.
Alba,

friends trust each other.
Plea...

I said no!

I'll fire you if you don't.

(laughing):
I'm just kidding!

Oh, I'm so sorry. Your face.
I scared you.
(panting)

I can't fire you--
you're not even mine.

(both laughing)

You don't have to take it.
Oh, thank you.

'Cause you already took it.

Wait, what?
Mm.

I popped one
in your beer earlier.

Uh... no, y-you're joking.

This is a joke, right?

Of course I'm joking!
Oh.

(laughing):
Who would do that?

Oh... I can't tell,
I can't tell.
I know.

Actually, I'm joking
about joking.

I'd say you have
about ten minutes.

Wha...? Oh. Oh, no, no.

Yeah. You know what,
I'm gonna go freshen up.

This is gonna be fun.
Don't leave. No.

Oh. (grunting)

Oh! What are you doing?

I was gonna go make
a grilled cheese.

What are you doing?
I'm going out.

What if Grandma wakes up?
Well, you can tell her
to eat a big fat...

And where might you two
be going?

I was just going
to make a grilled cheese.

Huh?

No, I-I was gonna go
make a grilled cheese.

Ah, what a coincidence--
everyone's got

a midnight hankering
for some grilled cheese.

Okay, fine, I'm going out.
My friend Fuji is deejaying.

Oh, how fun.
Did you hear that, Colonel?

Fuji is deejaying.
Look, it's not

that big of a deal--
I'm just going dancing.

Oh. Well, why didn't you say so?
You can dance right here.

What?

You heard me. Dance.

Come on, Grandma,
this is insane.

Dance!

(snickers)

(laughs)

You gentlemen aren't going to
let a lady dance alone, are you?

Go on.

Join her.

(gasps softly)
That's better.

Now we're having fun.

(dance beat plays)

*

How you doing
over there?

I... Good, I think.
Yeah?

My legs are heavy, but...

my mind is light.

And my back is slick
with a river of sweat.

I feel relaxed but...

also focused.

Kind of warm, too.
Mm-hmm.

Overall, good.
I feel good!

Great. That was a
lot of info there.

Thank you so much.
Yeah. Mm.

Mm!

Whoa-whoa! That's not
what you want to gulp.

Mm-mm. Mm.
No... no guzzling.

All right,
that's on you.

Do you want to go dance?

Yeah, lead the way, bitch!
Yeah!

*

(retching)

(unzips)

Mm-hmm.

*

(airplane whooshing)
Aah! We're gonna die!

(screams)

What? What?
Okay, okay, we're home.

We're home. Right on.

Ay. Oh, my mind is in pain.

Oh, Alba,

God, do you have to scream?

It's like nails
in a blender.

Let's just get inside
and pass out, and then...

Wait, why is my window open?

Didn't Jimmy mention something
about a loan shark?

Hold on a second.
I got to make a phone call.

Oh, the words you say
mean n-nothing.
Just shu... sh-sh-sh-shush.

JIMMY: Yo.
You're killing me.

Oh, hey, Jimmy, hey.
How's my big, sexy

side of beef, huh?
What are you doing?

Just dumping out.
I ate some leftover clams

for breakfast-- they're
wreaking havoc on my insides.

What's up with you?

Nothing. Uh...

I just was hoping that
you could come over here

and... wreak havoc
on my insides.

Oh. You do, do you?

Yeah. Big-time.

Uh... get over here.
Take me.

You asked for it.

I'm gonna mop up,
and I'll be right ov...
(groans) I mean...

Grandma says come
down for break...

What are you doing?

This woman needs to know
who she's messing with.

You sure that's a good idea?
Oh, it's all part of the dance.

She came at me,
now I'll come at her,

and round and round we'll go in
this cruel little game of wits.

You sound insane.

Do I?!

I learned it
from Mickey.

At least she appreciated
a healthy rivalry.

Come on.

Ah.

Ow!

That's the
colonel's bacon!

You can have bacon
when you earn bacon.

You children have
been spoiled rotten.

I mean, for
goodness' sake,

Ben is the only one

of you with any manners.

Now, I suppose
it's not entirely your fault.

I blame my idiot son
and that whore mother of yours.

But I will
restore dignity

to our family
if it's the last thing I do.

Chip, from now on,

you'll be
the colonel's apprentice.

You can start by cutting
his food into little pieces

and feeding him.

Doesn't he have
a nurse for that?

He does. You.

And, uh, little Miss
Rosemary Kennedy here

will learn to behave

like a lady, or she will
suffer the consequences.

Yes, Grandma.
Whatever you say.

Good.
(chuckles)

Now, if you don't mind,
I'd like to enjoy my coffee.

(sighs)

(gasps)
Oh!

What?
(scoffs)

What?

You ruined my blouse,
you wrinkly bitch!

Your blouse was ruined by
your inability to fill it out.

(scoffs)
Now, go put on

a fresh pot.

(exhales)

(tires screech)

(car door shuts)
Let's do this.

Oh, yeah, here we go.

(exhales)
Oh, yeah.

*

(grunts)

Oh, sh...

(grunting)

Wait, wait.

(grunting)

Ooh.

My goodness.

(grunts)

(panting)

Mickey?

Mickey.

Time to boogie.
Do something!

Don't worry,
I got this.

Suck solar, bitch.

(engine revs)

(battery dies)

(beeping)

What-What's happening?

No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

Hey.

(groans)

$4,200, Mick.

Where is it?

Where do you think it is?

Do I look
like I'm playing games?
Okay.

I don't have it. But what do you
say you take that car out front

and we call it even, huh?

I don't want your stolen car.

I'm a loan shark,
not a car thief.

(groans)
Sit. Both of you.

Mickey, I am scared.
Your life is very sad.

Yes, I know that, okay?
Thank you.

I want to go home to Greenwich.

It's too late.
We've burned that bridge.

You burned that bridge.

We both burned that bridge.

It doesn't matter
who lit the match.

We must beg their forgiveness.
Mr. Chip will give you

the money to pay
for this mess.
No.

I am not borrowing money
from a 12-year-old.

Honestly, Mickey,

I'm depressed for you.

You literally have nothing.

Yeah, that's what I said.

Well, I hate to do it,
but you leave me no choice.

Put your hand flat on the table.

Okay, look, I know you got to do
the whole tough guy routine,

but, listen,
you and I, we all know

that you're not
actually gonna hit a lady.

Oh, my God!
(screaming)

Oh! You crushed me!

Next hand. Hurry. I got to
pick my boy up from day care.

No, no, no, no, no! I got
the money, I got the money.

Where?
It's in Connecticut.
Just give me a couple hours.

You think I'm an idiot?

Give me that hand!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I'll leave you Alba
as collateral.

What?!

Hurry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What?
(whimpering)
Please don't leave me.

Alba, listen to me. You got
to trust me right now, okay?

Please trust me.
No,

I don't trust you.
You drugged me.

Well, that was
for your own good.

I mean, look how far
you've come.

(whimpering)
All right, listen,

I need you to do me a favor.
I did you a favor.

It's your turn to do me a favor.
That's what best friends do.

We are best friends?

Well, I don't know. Are we?

Yeah...
All right.

"Meh, meh, meh. Look at me. I'm
the colonel. I'm a war hero."

I'll show you a war,
you old bastard.

What happened to you?!

I loved you,
Grandpa!

I loved you!

(shouting)

What are you doing?

Huh?

Nothing.
Just, uh, meditating.

Oh.

What happened to your face?

Oatmeal Boobs threw away
my makeup.

Do you always look like that?

Shut up. I was up all night
dancing the Charleston.

The woman is awful.

Tell me about it.
The colonel's ruining my life.

What are you talking about?
The guy's a vegetable.

He is a manipulative scumbag,
and he needs to be stopped.

(doorbell rings)

Just hear me out, okay?
'Cause I know that...
Oh, thank God you're here.

You got to help us.
You left us alone
with an abusive lunatic.

What happened to your face?

Spooky, right?
Yeah.
(sighs)

Are you gonna
help us or not?

Uh...
(exhales)

Guys, Alba and I got a pretty
sweet thing going on, so...

Name your price.

Well, you are family.

So I guess
I'll have to take that

into consideration.
Ugh.

I'll come down to $4,200.

Bizarrely specific
but fine.

Okay, just get them
out of here,

'cause if I have to scrub
the colonel's disgusting

tattooed carcass one more time,
I'm gonna lose my mind.

Guy's got tattoos, huh?
That's pretty sweet.

He's got a cross, a dragonfly,
some weird poem about the sea...
Hold on a second.

He has a dragonfly tattoo?

Yeah. It's big.
It's right on his wrinkly tit.

Right here?
Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Tippy. Hey, super sorry

for the barge-in.
I'm Mickey. We spoke...

I know who you are.
(blows) You're the sister

of that whore who stole my son.

Yeah. That's me.
So, listen,

I know I told you
I needed you to watch the kids,

but a couple things
fell through on my end,

so we won't be
needing you anymore.

Sorry for the inconvenience.
Hey, you know what?

Grab a car
on your way out.

Oh, I'm not going anywhere.

Well, that's unfortunate.

You leave me no choice
but to reveal a scandal

so very scandalous

that it will shatter
the foundation

of the Pemberton name.

That's right, Colonel.

You've been a busy boy,
haven't you?

A very bad,

busy little boy.

Now, we all know
the colonel is a man

of many passions.

But none burn brighter
than that of the female flesh.

Even he was
no match

for the temptresses
who inhabit the tiny

island nation
of Guatemala!

Guatemala isn't
an island.
Would you... I...

I'm doing a thing.
I know. It's just
taking forever.

I'm building up to something.
Build faster.

Could you stop interrupting me?

If you just do it...
Yeah, okay!

Thank you!
Okay.

Anyway...

there's no denying
that the colonel has done

a great many things for the
landlocked nation of Guatemala.

His legacy will forever be
etched in the roads he's paved,

the schools
he's built,

and the faces
of his bastard children.

That's right.

The colonel
is Alba's father!

Why else
would he have

a dragonfly tattoo
over his heart,

if not to honor
his precious libélula?

What's the matter, Colonel?

Cat got your tongue?

I believe the,
uh, tattoo

you're referring to
is the B-24 Bomber.

Much like the one he
bravely flew over the Pacific.

Yeah. Okay.
Well, um...

Thank you for your service.

You're no different
from your sister.

You're just
a dimwitted gold digger

trying to suckle
from the mighty Pemberton teat.

Well, so long as I have breath
in my body, you will never...

(crack)
(screams)

(crying)

Is she gonna be okay?
Yeah, yeah.

Of course.

Well, she did break both
of her hips, you know?

So, no,
she's not.

These kids have somebody
to watch them tonight?

I mean, yeah,

I guess I could stay,

you know,

if you guys need me.

Yeah, if
you're not busy.

Well, I am busy.
I'm very busy, Chip.

That's not the question.
The question is,

you know,
do you want me to stay?

You know, I can,
if you're desperate.

I mean, I wouldn't say
that we're desperate, but...

yeah, I guess,

technically,
we need somebody.

Okay,
so if it's a technical issue,

then, yeah,
Yeah.

all right.
Eh, look at that.

Sounds like we
all need each other.

Who is he?

I'm Jimmy.
I'm the boyfriend.

No, he's not
my boyfriend.

Come on, we've been plowing
for ten years.
All right, Jimmy, can we...?

Come on, let's not do
this right now, okay?

Come here, Ben. Let's get
you out of this thing

before somebody
else gets hurt.

You little murderer.

Where's Alba?

(gunshots on TV)

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

TIPPY: Dance!

Now that you've gotten
to know The Mick,

here are a few more shows
to check out
from Fox.

(beeping)

Nicole.
Get to the attic.

No matter what you hear,
don't make a sound.

(breathing quietly)

(Nicole breathing shakily)

-(phone rings)
-Carter?

-They're here.
-My God.

ANNOUNCER: 24: Legacy.

After the Super Bowl, on Fox.