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00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:03,360
(ROCK BAND WARMING UP)
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00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:16,960
MAN: Okay, guys, here we go.Here we go.
3
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,360
One, two...
4
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,400
One, two, three...
5
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:25,040
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
6
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:27,920
♪ It's been one weeksince you looked at me
7
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:30,160
♪ Cocked yourhead to the sideand said I'm angry
8
00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,120
♪ Five days since youlaughed at me saying
9
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,240
♪ Get that togethercome back and see me
10
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,440
♪ Three days sincethe living room
11
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,480
♪ I realizedit's all my faultbut couldn't tell you
12
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,440
♪ Yesterday you'd forgiven me
13
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,720
♪ But it'll still be two daystill I say I'm sorry
14
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,200
♪ Hold it now andwatch the hoodwinkas I make you stop, think
15
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,120
♪ You'll thinkyou're looking at AquamanI summon fish to the dish
16
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:49,240
♪ Though I likemy Chalet Swiss
17
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,280
♪ I like the sushi'cause it's nevertouched a frying pan
18
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,040
♪ Hot like wasabiwhen I bust rhymesBig like LeAnn Rimes
19
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,080
♪ Because I'm all about valueBert Kaempfert'sgot the mad hits
20
00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,760
♪ You try to match witsYou try to hold mebut I bust through
21
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,000
♪ Gonna make a breakand take a fake
22
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:02,120
♪ I'd like a stinkin'achin' shake
23
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,120
♪ I like vanillaIt's the finestof the flavors
24
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,440
♪ Gotta see the show'cause then you'll knowthe vertigo is gonna grow
25
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,760
♪ 'Cause it's so dangerousyou'll have to sign a waiver ♪
26
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,080
(HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
27
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,120
♪ I don't give a damn'bout my reputation
28
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,680
♪ You're livin' in the pastIt's a new generation
29
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,640
♪ A girl can dowhat she wants to doand that's what I'm gonna do
30
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,280
♪ And I don't give a damn'bout my bad reputation
31
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,120
♪ Oh, no♪ No, no, no, no, no, no
32
00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,840
♪ Not me♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me
33
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,600
♪ And I don't give a damn'bout my reputation
34
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,320
♪ Never said I wantedto improve my station
35
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,480
♪ And I'm only doing goodwhen I'm having fun
36
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,760
♪ And I don't haveto please no one
37
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,080
♪ And I don't give a damn'bout my bad reputation
38
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,560
Hey!
39
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,920
♪ Oh, no♪ No, no, no, no, no, no
40
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,000
♪ Not me ♪
41
00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:00,080
(COMPUTER KEYS CLACKING)
42
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,040
I'll be right with you.
43
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:17,160
So, Cameron.
Here you go.
44
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,880
Nine schools in 10 years.
My, my. Army brat?
45
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,760
Yeah. My dad is, uh...
46
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:23,960
That's enough.
47
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,200
I'm sure you won't find
Padua any different
than your old schools.
48
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,640
Same little ass-wipe
shit-for-brains
everywhere.
49
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:32,880
(CHUCKLES)
50
00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:39,000
Excuse me?
Did you just say...
Am I in the right office?
51
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,760
Not anymore, you're not.
I've got deviants to see
and a novel to finish.
52
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,840
Now, scoot. Scoot!
53
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,040
(CLEARS THROAT) Okay.
54
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,720
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
55
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,240
Patrick Verona.
56
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,720
I see we're making
our visits a weekly ritual.
57
00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,040
Only so we can have
these moments together.
58
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:00,640
Should I, uh,
hit the lights?
59
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,320
Oh, very clever,
kangaroo boy.
60
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,880
Says here you
exposed yourself
in the cafeteria?
61
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,280
I was joking
with the lunch lady.
It was a bratwurst.
62
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,840
Bratwurst?
63
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,080
Aren't we the optimist?
64
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,880
Next time, keep it
in your pouch, okay?
65
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:21,960
Scoot!
66
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,560
Hello! Michael Eckman.
I'm supposed to
show you around.
67
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,760
Oh, hi. Thank God.
You know, uh...
68
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,680
Normally they send down
one of those
audio visual geeks.
69
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,520
No, I do.
I know what you mean.
70
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,160
Hey, Michael,
where should
I put those slides?
71
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,400
Michael?
So, uh... Cameron.
72
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,320
Here's the breakdown.
73
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,720
Over there, we've got your
basic beautiful people.
74
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,000
Now listen.
Unless they talk to
you first, don't bother.
75
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,800
Wait. Is that
your rule or theirs?
76
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,240
Watch. Hey, there.
77
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,840
Eat me.
You see that?
78
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,280
To the left,
we have the coffee kids.
79
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:08,400
(COFFEE SPILLING)
80
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,960
That was Costa Rican,
butthead!
Very edgy.
81
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,720
Don't make any
sudden movements
around them.
82
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,320
These delusionals
are your white Rastas.
83
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,960
They're big Marley fans.
They think they're black.
84
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,240
Semi-political, but mostly...
Smoke a lot of weed?
85
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:21,680
Yeah. These guys...
86
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,200
Wait, wait.
Let me guess. Cowboys?
87
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,480
Yeah, but the closest
they've come to a cow
is McDonald's.
88
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,680
(CHUCKLING) McDonald's.
89
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,760
These are your future MBAs.
We're all Ivy League accepted.
90
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,680
Yuppie greed is back,
my friend.
91
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,000
Hey, guys, how you doin'?
92
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,320
Close it, Bogey!
93
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,880
Yesterday,
I was their god.
94
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,000
What happened?
95
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:46,520
(SIGHING) Bogey Lowenstein
started a rumor that I...
96
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,920
That I buy my Izods
at an outlet mall.
97
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,960
So they kicked you out?
Hostile takeover.
But don't worry.
98
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,480
He'll pay.
Now, over here...
99
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:55,960
Oh, my God.
100
00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:05,560
What group is she in?
101
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,120
The "don't even
think about it" group.
102
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,000
That's Bianca Stratford.
She's a sophomore.
103
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,440
I burn, I pine,
I perish.
104
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,800
Of course you do. You know,
she's beautiful and deep.
105
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,040
I'm sure.
106
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,680
Yeah, but see,
there's a difference
between like and love.
107
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:23,360
Because I like my Skechers,
but I love my Prada backpack.
108
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,920
But I love my Skechers.
109
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:28,040
That's because
you don't have
a Prada backpack.
110
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,440
Oh.
111
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,840
Listen, forget her.
Incredibly uptight father.
112
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:34,920
And it's a widely
known fact that
113
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,120
the Stratford sisters
aren't allowed to date.
114
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:38,960
Uh-huh. Yeah.
115
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,080
Whatever.
116
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,200
(BELL RINGING)
117
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,760
(CHATTERING)
118
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,400
Okay, then.
What did everyone think
of The Sun Also Rises?
119
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,200
I loved it.
He's so romantic.
120
00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,400
Romantic? Hemingway?
121
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,400
He was an abusive,
alcoholic misogynist
who squandered half his life
122
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,960
hanging around Picasso
trying to nail his leftovers.
123
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,160
As opposed to a bitter,
self-righteous hag
who has no friends?
124
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,760
(STUDENTS CHUCKLING)
125
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,680
Pipe down, Chachi.
126
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,080
I guess in this society,
being male and an asshole
127
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,800
makes you worthy
of our time.
128
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,280
(STUDENTS GROANING)
129
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,640
What about Sylvia Plath,
130
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,200
or Charlotte Bronte
or Simone de Beauvoir?
131
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,680
(PANTING) What'd I miss?
132
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:29,200
The oppressive
patriarchal values
that dictate our education.
133
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,360
Good.
134
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,280
Hey, hey!
BOY: Mr. Morgan.
135
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,600
Is there any chance
we could get Kat
to take her Midol
136
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,280
before she comes to class?
137
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,200
(STUDENTS CHUCKLING)
138
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:40,680
Someday you're gonna get
bitch-slapped,
139
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,440
and I'm not gonna do
a thing to stop it.
140
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,800
And Kat,
I want to thank you
for your point of view.
141
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,440
I know how difficult
it must be for you
to overcome all those years
142
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,040
of upper-middle class
suburban oppression.
143
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,920
Must be tough.
144
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,440
But the next time
you storm the P.T.A.,
145
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,000
crusading for
better lunch meat,
146
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,080
or whatever it is
you white girls
complain about,
147
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,920
ask them why
they can't buy a book
written by a black man!
148
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,680
That's right, mon!
149
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,520
Don't even get me
started on you two.
150
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,840
(BOTH MUMBLING)
151
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,360
Anything else?
152
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,960
Yeah, go to the office.
You're pissing me off.
153
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,400
What? Mr. Morgan...
154
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:15,480
Later!
155
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:19,640
(SCATTERED CHUCKLING)
156
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,880
(EXCLAIMS)
157
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,760
Undulating with desire,
158
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,520
Adrienne removes her red...
159
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,840
(SIGHS)
160
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,480
Crimson cape
161
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,840
at the sight of
Reginald's stiff and...
162
00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,440
Judith!
163
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,000
What's another word
for "engorged"?
164
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,520
I'll look it up.
165
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,680
Okay.
166
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,120
Swollen. Turgid.
167
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,240
Tumescent?
168
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:06,920
Perfect.
169
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:11,200
So, I hear
you were terrorizing
Mr. Morgan's class again.
170
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,200
Expressing my opinion
is not a terrorist action.
171
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,280
The way you
expressed your opinion
to Bobby Ridgeway?
172
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:22,360
By the way, his testicle
retrieval operation
went quite well,
173
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,040
in case you're interested.
174
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,160
I still maintain
that he kicked himself
in the balls.
175
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,560
The point is, Kat...
176
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,200
Cat.
177
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,520
(SIGHS)
178
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,960
(PURRS)
179
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:41,040
People perceive
you as somewhat...
180
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:42,760
Tempestuous?
181
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,760
"Heinous bitch"
is the term
used most often.
182
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,560
You might want
to work on that.
183
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,600
Thank you.
184
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,760
As always, thank you
for your excellent guidance.
185
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,560
I'll let you get back
to Reginald's
quivering member.
186
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,440
"Quivering member."
I like that.
187
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,760
Virgin alert.
Your favorite.
188
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,000
Ooh.
Lookin' good, ladies.
189
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,960
Oh, she's out of reach,
even for you.
190
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,760
No one's out of
reach for me.
191
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,600
You wanna put
money on that?
192
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:25,920
Money, I've got.
193
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,760
This I'm gonna do for fun.
194
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,960
(SCOFFS)
195
00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:32,800
Who's that guy?
196
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:33,880
That's Joey Donner.
197
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,440
He's a jerk off,
and a model.
198
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,120
(CHUCKLES)
He's a model?
A model.
199
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,360
Mostly regional stuff,
200
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,440
but he's rumored
to have a big tube
sock ad coming out.
201
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,000
Really?
Really.
202
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,680
Man, look at her.
Is she always so...
203
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:52,880
Vapid?
204
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,120
How can you say that?
She's totally...
205
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,040
Conceited.
What are you
talking about?
206
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,920
There's more to her
than you think.
207
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:02,320
Look at the way she smiles,
and look at her eyes, man.
208
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:06,720
She's totally pure.
You're missing what's there.
209
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,440
No, no, Cameron, no.
What's there
210
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,840
is a snotty little princess
wearing a strategically
planned sun dress
211
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,320
to make guys like us realize
that we can never touch her
212
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,280
and guys like Joey realize
that they want to.
213
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,080
She, my friend,
is what we will spend
214
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,000
the rest of our lives
not having.
215
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,040
Put her in your
spank bank, move on.
216
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,000
Move on.
No, no.
You're wrong about her.
217
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,440
I mean, you know,
not about the spanking part,
218
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:32,840
but the rest, you're wrong.
219
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,520
All right... I'm wrong?
You wanna take a shot,
be my guest.
220
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:38,400
She's actually looking
for a French tutor.
221
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,440
Are you serious?
That's perfect!
222
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,680
Do you speak French?
223
00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,920
Well, no, but I will.
224
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:51,680
Hey. Your little
Rambo look is out, Kat.
225
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,840
Didn't you read
last month's Cosmo?
226
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,040
Run along.
227
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,920
I know you can be overwhelmed,
and you can be underwhelmed,
228
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,560
but can you ever
just be "whelmed"?
229
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:06,200
I think you can
in Europe.
230
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,200
Hi, ladies.
231
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:11,040
Would you sweet young things
like a ride?
232
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,720
Careful on the leather.
233
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,560
Whoo!
234
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,120
That's a charming
new development.
235
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,760
It's disgusting.
236
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,080
Remove head
from sphincter,
then drive!
237
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,480
You okay?
Yeah.
238
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,200
Just a minor encounter
with the shrew.
239
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,000
That's your
girlfriend's sister.
240
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:46,800
That's Bianca's sister?
241
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,200
The mewling,
rampalian wretch herself.
242
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,800
(SIGHS)
Stay cool, bro.
243
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,000
Yeah, see you later.
244
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,600
Look out!
245
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:05,120
My balls! Oh, boy.
246
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,000
(GRUNTS)
247
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:24,520
(LAUGHS) Yeah, whoo!
248
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:46,600
♪ Sunshine on the window
249
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,560
♪ Makes me happy
250
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,520
♪ Like I should be
251
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:57,200
♪ Outside all around me
252
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,920
♪ Really sleazy
253
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,720
♪ Then it hits me
254
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,720
♪ Don't tell me
255
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:08,360
♪ You can't seewhat it means to me
256
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:10,680
♪ Me, me, me ♪
257
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,000
Hello, Katarina.
Make anyone cry today?
258
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,880
Sadly, no.
But it's only 4:30.
259
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,680
Hi, Daddy.
Hello, precious.
260
00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:24,440
And where have you been?
Nowhere.
261
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:27,000
Hey, what's this?
It says Sarah Lawrence.
262
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,120
(GASPS)
263
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,040
(SCREAMS) I got in!
264
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,400
(GIGGLING EXCITEDLY)
I got in!
265
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,720
Uh, honey, that's great,
266
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:39,840
but isn't Sarah Lawrence
on the other side
of the country?
267
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,040
Thus the basis of its appeal.
268
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:42,320
(CHUCKLES)
269
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,560
I thought we decided
you were going to stay
here and go to school.
270
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,000
"U-Dub," like me.
Be a Husky.
271
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,400
(GROWLING)
272
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,720
No, you decided.
273
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,160
Oh, okay, so what,
you just pick up
and leave, is that it?
274
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,680
Let's hope so.
275
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,400
Ask Bianca who
drove her home.
276
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,560
Kat, don't change the...
Drove? Who drove you home?
277
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,160
Now, don't get upset, Daddy,
but there's this boy...
278
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,560
Who's a flaming imbecile.
279
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,000
And I think
he might ask me...
280
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,920
Please. I think I know
what he's going to ask you.
281
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,760
And I think I know
the answer... No.
It's always no.
282
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:15,200
What are the two house rules?
Number one, no dating
till you graduate.
283
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:18,040
Number two, no dating
till you graduate.
284
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:19,400
That's it.
285
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,040
Daddy,
that's so unfair.
286
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,080
All right, you want to
know what's unfair?
This is for you, too.
287
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,440
This morning I delivered
a set of twins
to a 15-year-old girl.
288
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:29,080
Do you know what
she said to me?
289
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,560
I'm a crack whore
who should have
290
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,080
made my skeezy boyfriend
wear a condom?
291
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,520
Close, but no.
292
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,880
She said, "I should have
listened to my father."
293
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,120
She did not.
294
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,480
Well, that's what
she would have said
295
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,440
if she wasn't
so doped up.
296
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,920
Can we focus on me
for a second, please?
297
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,120
I am the only
girl in school
who's not dating.
298
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:52,760
Oh, no you're not.
Your sister doesn't date.
299
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,080
And I don't intend to.
300
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,840
And why is that again?
301
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,960
Have you seen
the unwashed miscreants
that go to that school?
302
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,280
Where did you come from?
Planet Loser?
303
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,800
As opposed to
Planet Look At Me,
Look At Me.
304
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:03,960
(SCOFFS)
305
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,160
(CLAPS HANDS)
306
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,880
Okay, here's how
we solve this one.
307
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,800
Old rule out.
New rule,
Bianca can date
308
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,800
when she does.
309
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,960
But she's a mutant!
What if she never dates?
310
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,240
Then you'll never date.
Oh, I like that.
311
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,720
And I'll get to
sleep at night.
312
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,640
The deep slumber of a father
whose daughters aren't
out being impregnated.
313
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,320
(PAGER BEEPING)
314
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,760
We'll talk about
Sarah Lawrence later.
Fine.
315
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,760
Wait! Daddy!
Gotta go.
316
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,680
Can't you just find
some blind, deaf retard
317
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:40,000
to take you to the movies
so I can have one date?
318
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,000
I'm sorry.
Looks like you'll
just have to miss out
319
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,640
on the witty repartee
of Joey "Eat Me" Donner.
320
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,120
(SCOFFS) You suck.
321
00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,000
(MOCKINGLY) You suck.
322
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,640
Hi. Can we
make this quick?
323
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,000
Roxanne Corinne
and Andrew Jarrett are having
an incredibly horrendous
324
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,520
public break-up
on the quad, again.
325
00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,320
Oh, yeah, um, okay.
I thought that we'd, um,
326
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,680
start with pronunciation,
if that's all right with you.
327
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:19,360
Not the hacking and gagging
and spitting part, please.
328
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,040
Well, uh,
there is an alternative.
329
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,120
There is?
330
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,080
Yeah, French food.
331
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,040
We could eat
some together, uh,
332
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,880
Saturday night?
333
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,480
You're asking me out?
334
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,360
That's so cute.
What's your name again?
335
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,960
Cameron. Listen,
I know that your dad
doesn't let you date,
336
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,240
but I thought
that if it was
for French class...
337
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,360
Oh, wait a minute.
Curtis...
Cameron.
338
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,360
My dad just came up
with a new rule.
339
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,200
I can date
when my sister does.
340
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,040
You're kidding.
Let me ask you,
do you like sailing?
341
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,720
'Cause I read
about this place
that rents boats...
342
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,680
A beaucoup problemo, Calvin.
343
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,480
In case you haven't heard,
344
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,240
my sister's a particularly
hideous breed of loser.
345
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:06,680
Yeah. Yeah, I noticed
she's a little antisocial.
346
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,160
Why is that?
347
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,720
Unsolved mystery.
348
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,280
She used to be
really popular,
and then it was like
349
00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,480
she got sick of it
or something.
350
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:15,880
Theories abound as to why,
351
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,920
but I'm pretty sure
she's just incapable
of human interaction.
352
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,920
Plus, she's a bitch.
353
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,800
Well, yeah, but I'm sure,
you know, that there are
354
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:26,240
lots of guys
who wouldn't mind
355
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,240
going out with
a difficult woman.
356
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:33,080
I mean, you know,
people jump out of airplanes
and ski off cliffs.
357
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,320
It'd be like
"Extreme Dating."
Huh?
358
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,080
You think you could find
someone that extreme?
359
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,240
Yeah, sure, why not?
360
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,000
And you'd
do that for me?
361
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,760
Hell, yes!
362
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,120
I mean, you know,
I could look into it.
363
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,920
(BELL RINGS)
364
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,800
Now, I have
gathered a group of guys,
couldn't be more perfect.
365
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,440
Padua's finest.
366
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,680
Hi. How you doin'?
367
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,720
Would any of you
be interested in dating
Katarina Stratford?
368
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:14,040
(LAUGHING)
369
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,600
(CHUCKLES)
I've never been
that ripped.
370
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,800
Maybe if we were
the last two people alive,
371
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,720
and there were no sheep.
372
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,840
Are there sheep?
373
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,000
(SCREAMING)
374
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,200
Did I or did I not tell you
it was pointless?
375
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,160
No one will go out with her.
376
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,600
Hey, hey,
what about him?
377
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,200
Him? No, don't...
Don't look at him, okay?
378
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,000
He's a criminal.
379
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:50,480
I heard he lit
a state trooper on fire.
380
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,560
He just did a year
in San Quentin.
381
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,520
Well, at least he's horny.
382
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,160
I'm serious, man.
He's whacked.
383
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:01,760
He sold his own liver
on the black market for
a new set of speakers.
384
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,520
He's our guy.
385
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:15,920
(CLEARS THROAT)
386
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,080
Hi. How you doin'?
387
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,360
Listen, I...
388
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,040
(DRILL WHIRRING)
389
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,680
Okay. Later, then.
390
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,280
How do we get him
to date Kat?
391
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,840
(SIGHS)
I don't know.
392
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,040
I mean, uh,
we could pay him,
393
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,720
but we don't
have any money.
394
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,360
Yeah, well,
what we need
is a backer.
395
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,880
What's that?
396
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,080
Someone with money
who's stupid.
397
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,800
Oh, yeah.
398
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,200
Is that a peach
Fruit Roll-Up?
Because you don't see many...
399
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,080
Oh, okay.
Yeah. All right.
400
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,480
Are you lost?
No.
401
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,480
Actually,
I just came by to chat.
402
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,720
We don't chat.
403
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,120
Well, actually, I thought
404
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,280
that I'd run an idea
by you, just to see
if you're interested.
405
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,400
I'm not.
406
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:35,760
Well, hear me out.
407
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,880
Now, you want
Bianca, right?
408
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,640
But she can't go out with you
because her sister
409
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,640
is this insane
head case, and no one
will go out with her, right?
410
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,560
Does this conversation
have a purpose?
411
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,640
What I think you need to do,
412
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,760
is you need to hire a guy
who'll go out with her.
413
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,400
Someone who doesn't
scare so easily.
414
00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,840
JOEY: That guy?
415
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,480
I heard he ate
a live duck once.
416
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,320
Everything but
the beak and feet.
417
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,440
Clearly,
he's a solid investment.
418
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,600
What's in it for you?
Hey.
419
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,640
I'm walking down the hall
and I say hello to you,
you say hello to me.
420
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,760
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
You're cool by association.
421
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,560
(CLEARS THROAT)
I'll think about it.
422
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,840
We're done now.
Yeah.
423
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,200
What are you doing
getting him involved?
424
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,600
Relax, now. Relax.
425
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,600
We let him pretend
he's calling the shots.
426
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,520
While he's busy
setting things up,
you have time with Bianca.
427
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,120
That is a good idea.
All right.
428
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,640
(CHUCKLING)
429
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,960
I have a dick on
my face, don't I?
430
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,880
Now, remember, guys,
431
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,400
grip it and rip it.
432
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,320
(WHISTLES BLOWING)
433
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,200
Hey. How you doin'?
434
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,880
I had some great
duck last night.
435
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,680
Do I know you?
436
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,360
You see that girl?
437
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,760
Yeah.
That's Kat Stratford.
438
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,240
I want you to
go out with her.
439
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,320
(SCOFFS)
Yeah, sure, Sparky.
440
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,280
Look,
I can't take out her sister
until Kat starts dating.
441
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:44,640
You see,
their dad's whacked out.
442
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,120
He's got this rule
where the girls...
443
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,560
That's a touching story.
It really is.
Not my problem.
444
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,120
Would you be willing
to make it your problem
445
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,360
if I provide
generous compensation?
446
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,840
(CHUCKLES)
You're gonna pay me
to take out some chick?
447
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:00,720
Mmm-hmm.
448
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,400
(CHUCKLES)
449
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:03,760
How much?
450
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:04,960
Twenty bucks.
451
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:08,640
(GRUNTS)
452
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:09,800
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
453
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:14,560
Fine, 30.
454
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,400
Well, let's think about this.
455
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,400
We go to the movies,
that's, uh, 15 bucks.
456
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,880
We get popcorn,
that's, uh, 53.
457
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,240
And she'll want
Raisinets, right?
458
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:35,120
So, uh,
we're looking at 75 bucks.
459
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:39,120
This isn't a negotiation.
Take it or leave it,
Trailer Park.
460
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,280
Fifty bucks
and we got a deal, Fabio.
461
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,800
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
462
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,560
CHAPIN:
Great practice,
everybody.
463
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:50,640
Good hustle, Stratford.
464
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,160
KAT: Thanks, Mr. Chapin.
465
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,640
Hey there, girlie.
How you doin'?
466
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,320
Sweating like a pig,
actually. And yourself?
467
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,840
Now, there's a way to get
a guy's attention, huh?
468
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,080
My mission in life.
469
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,840
But obviously,
I struck your fancy,
so, you see, it worked.
470
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,640
The world makes sense again.
471
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:18,040
(CHUCKLES)
472
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,000
Pick you up
on Friday, then.
473
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:21,760
Oh, right.
Friday. Uh-huh.
474
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:26,160
Well, the night
I take you places
you've never been before.
475
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,560
Like where?
The 7-Eleven on Broadway?
476
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,440
Do you even know
my name, screw boy?
477
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,400
I know a lot more
than you think.
478
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,640
Doubtful.
Very doubtful.
479
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,080
We are screwed.
480
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,160
Hey, I don't want to hear
that defeatist attitude.
481
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,240
I want to
hear you upbeat.
(CHEERFULLY) We're screwed!
482
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,360
There you go.
GIRL: Hey, Coach Chapin!
483
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,360
Run, Bogey!
484
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:07,680
Have you ever
considered a new look?
485
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,160
I mean, seriously.
You could have
some definite potential
486
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,360
buried under all
this hostility.
487
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,080
I'm not hostile.
I'm annoyed.
488
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,240
Why don't you
try being nice?
489
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,240
People wouldn't know
what to think.
490
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,440
You forget,
I don't care
what people think.
491
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,880
Yes, you do.
492
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:24,720
No, I don't.
493
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,600
You don't always have
to be who they want
you to be, you know.
494
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,880
I happen to like
being adored,
thank you.
495
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,520
Where'd you get the pearls?
496
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,080
They're Mom's.
497
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,280
And you've been what,
hiding them
for three years?
498
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:42,600
No. Daddy found them
in a drawer last week.
499
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,680
So you're just
gonna start
wearing them now?
500
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,040
It's not like
she's coming back
to claim them!
501
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,520
Besides,
they look good on me.
502
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,600
Trust me. They don't.
503
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,560
Nice ride.
Vintage fenders.
504
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,000
Are you following me?
505
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,280
I was in the Laundromat.
I saw your car.
I came over to say hi.
506
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,400
Hi.
507
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,080
Not a big talker, huh?
508
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:15,600
Depends on the topic.
509
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,640
My fenders
don't really whip me
into a verbal frenzy.
510
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,440
You're not afraid
of me, are you?
511
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,400
Why would I
be afraid of you?
512
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,600
Well, most people are.
513
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:24,960
Well, I'm not.
514
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,040
Well, maybe you're
not afraid of me,
515
00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:28,800
but I'm sure
you've thought
about me naked.
516
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,440
Am I that transparent?
517
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,360
I want you, I need you.
Oh, baby, oh, baby.
518
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,480
(HIP-HOP PLAYING ON STEREO)
519
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,840
(GROANS)
What is it, asshole day?
520
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:47,920
Do you mind?
521
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,000
Not at all.
522
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,040
(LAUGHING)
523
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:01,600
You bitch!
524
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,280
(CHUCKLES)
525
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:06,560
Whoops.
526
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,400
"Whoops"?
527
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,080
My insurance
does not cover PMS!
528
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:16,240
(SIGHS)
Well, then tell
them I had a seizure.
529
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,000
Is this about
Sarah Lawrence?
530
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,320
Are you punishing me
because I want you to
stay close to home?
531
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:22,440
Aren't you punishing me
because Mom left?
532
00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:25,120
You think you could
leave her out of this?
533
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,280
Fine.
Then stop making
my decisions for me.
534
00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:29,240
I'm your father.
That's my right.
535
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,200
So what I want
doesn't matter.
536
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,280
You're 18.
You don't know
what you want.
537
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,560
And you won't know
what you want
till you're 45,
538
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,040
and even if you get it,
you'll be too old to use it.
539
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:39,960
I want to go to
an East Coast school!
540
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,600
I want you to trust me
to make my own choices,
541
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,440
and I want you to stop
trying to control my life
542
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,080
just because you
can't control yours!
543
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,720
Yeah?
Well, you know
what I want?
544
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,120
(PAGER BEEPING)
545
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:50,360
(GROANS)
546
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:52,760
We'll continue this later.
547
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,200
Can't wait.
548
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,800
Did you just
maim Joey's car?
549
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,000
Yeah. Looks like
you're gonna have
to take the bus.
550
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,040
Has the fact that
you're completely psycho
551
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:05,000
managed to escape
your attention?
552
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,000
Daddy!
553
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,120
When I shell out 50,
I expect results.
554
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,360
Yeah, I'm on it.
555
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,840
Watching that bitch
violate my car
doesn't count as a date.
556
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,880
Now, if you don't get any,
I don't get any.
557
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,240
So get some.
558
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,320
I just upped my price.
559
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,240
What?
560
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:32,960
Hundred bucks a date.
561
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:34,960
In advance.
562
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:36,600
(SCOFFS) Forget it.
563
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,080
Well, forget
her sister, then.
564
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,400
You better hope
you're as smooth as you
think you are, Verona.
565
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:00,360
Go.
No, you go.
566
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:01,960
I went before.
567
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,560
We know what
you're trying to do
with Kat Stratford.
568
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,720
Is that right?
What do you plan
to do about it?
569
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:17,960
Help you out.
570
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:19,520
Why's that?
571
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:21,920
(STAMMERING)
The situation is,
572
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:26,280
my man Cameron here
has a major jones
for Bianca Stratford.
573
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,640
What is it with this chick?
She have beer-flavored
nipples?
574
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:31,200
Hey!
575
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,320
I, uh...
I think I speak correctly
576
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,080
when I say that
Cameron's love is pure,
577
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,000
purer than,
say, Joey Donner's.
578
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,320
I'm in this for the cash.
Donner can plow
whoever he wants.
579
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,680
Okay, there will
be no plowing.
580
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,400
Patrick, uh... Pat...
581
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,080
Let me explain
something to you here.
582
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:52,080
We set this whole thing up
so Cameron can get the girl.
Cameron.
583
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,960
Joey's just a pawn.
584
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,200
So, you two
are gonna help me
tame the wild beast.
585
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:00,480
Absolutely.
586
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:03,520
We'll do some research,
we'll find out
what she likes.
587
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,320
We're your guys.
588
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:09,600
And he means that in
a strictly non-prison
movie type of way.
589
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:12,680
(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, let's start here.
590
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:16,400
Now, Friday night,
Bogey Lowenstein
is having a party.
591
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,480
It's the perfect opportunity.
592
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:20,480
Perfect opportunity
for what?
593
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:22,360
For you to take out Kat.
594
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,120
I'll think about it.
595
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,120
And for a little payback.
596
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,880
This is gonna be
some party.
597
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:43,720
Let's do this.
598
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,320
♪ Sexy boy
599
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,720
♪ Sexy boy
600
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,120
Now, this is
really important, okay?
601
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:09,760
Which one
do you like better?
602
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:16,760
Hmm. I think I like
the white shirt better.
603
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:19,280
Yeah, it's... It's more...
604
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:20,600
Pensive?
605
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,080
Damn.
I was going
for thoughtful.
606
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:27,200
So, are you going
to Bogey Lowenbrau's
thing on Friday night?
607
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,080
Yeah, I might.
608
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:33,280
Good, 'cause you know,
I'm not gonna bother
if you won't be there.
609
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,440
(BELL RINGING)
610
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:37,880
See you there.
611
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,600
Okay.
All right.
612
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,320
♪ Sexy boy ♪
613
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:59,360
CAMERON: So, have youheard about BogeyLowenstein's party?
614
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:03,440
Yes, and I really,
really, really
want to go.
615
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,120
But you know I can't.
Not unless my sister does.
616
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,640
Yeah, I know.
I'm working on that,
but so far,
617
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,280
you know,
she's not going
for my guy.
618
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:13,720
She's not a...
619
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,360
K.D. Lang fan? No.
620
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,440
I found a picture
of Jared Leto
in her drawer once,
621
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,600
so I'm pretty sure
she's not harboring
same-sex tendencies.
622
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,680
Okay, so that's
the kind of guys
she likes...
623
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:25,840
Like, pretty guys.
624
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:27,560
I don't know.
All I've ever heard her say
625
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,840
is that she'd die
before dating
a guy that smokes.
626
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,120
Okay, all right,
no smoking.
What else?
627
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,120
You're asking me
to investigate
the inner workings
628
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,040
of my sister's
twisted mind?
629
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,120
I don't think so.
630
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:40,880
Well, nothing else
has worked.
631
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,760
We need to go behind
enemy lines here.
632
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,120
Okay, here we go.
633
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,520
Class schedule,
reading list,
634
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:57,200
date book,
concert tickets,
concert tickets.
635
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,800
Aha! Black panties!
636
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,040
What does that tell us?
637
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,560
She wants to
have sex someday,
that's what.
638
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,760
You... She could
just like the color.
639
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,080
You don't buy black lingerie
unless you want someone
to see it.
640
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:17,480
Oh.
641
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:21,520
So, uh...
Can I see your room?
642
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,120
No.
643
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,080
A girl's room
is very personal.
644
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:32,640
Oh, okay.
645
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,760
(CLEARS THROAT)
646
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,880
(BEEPING HORN)
647
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,400
Nice bike.
648
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:46,560
Yeah, you think so?
649
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,920
Wow. Is this what
a bar looks like?
650
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,640
Don't touch anything.
You may get hepatitis.
651
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:21,600
So, what have you
got for me?
652
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,280
A little insight
into a very
complicated girl.
653
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,960
Excuse me.
Just one question
before we start.
654
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:32,040
Should you be
drinking alcohol
when you don't have a liver?
655
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,120
What?
Nothing. Nothing.
656
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:39,840
All right, first thing.
Kat hates smokers.
657
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,560
So, you're telling me
I'm a non-smoker.
658
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,360
Yes. Well, just for now.
659
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:50,960
And here's
another problem.
660
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,760
Bianca said that
Kat likes pretty guys.
661
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:03,920
Are you telling me
I'm not a pretty guy?
662
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:05,680
He's very pretty!
663
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,320
This is a gorgeous guy.
664
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,200
I just wasn't sure.
I didn't know.
665
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,640
All right.
Uh, yeah, okay.
Here's this.
666
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,720
(CLEARS THROAT)
667
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:18,040
"Likes.
668
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,480
"Thai food, feminist prose
and angry girl music
669
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,960
"of the indie
rock persuasion."
670
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,600
Here's a list of CDs
she has in her room.
671
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,400
So, I'm supposed to buy her
some noodles and a book
672
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:33,600
and sit around
listening to chicks
673
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:35,120
who can't play their
instruments, right?
674
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,320
Have you ever been
to Club Skunk?
675
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,560
CAMERON: Her favorite band's
playing there tomorrow night.
676
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,880
I can't be seen at
Club Skunk, all right?
677
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,760
But she'll be there.
She's got tickets.
678
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,920
Assail your ears
for one night.
679
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,880
She has a pair of
black underwear.
680
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,080
CAMERON: If that helps.
681
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:56,960
Couldn't hurt, right?
682
00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:58,400
(CHUCKLES)
683
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,000
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
684
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,560
WOMAN:♪ You can talk
685
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:20,400
♪ You can talk about it
686
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,800
♪ If I'm wrong
687
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,640
♪ If I'm wrongI'll take the blame
688
00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:30,880
♪ You can talk
689
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,720
♪ As the hours slip away
690
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,120
♪ As my own
691
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:42,520
♪ I can call another day
692
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:46,320
♪ Come on, come on
693
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,240
♪ To my embrace
694
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:53,360
♪ How you sleep so easy
695
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,920
♪ Is a mystery
696
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,520
♪ I've got my ear
697
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,320
♪ Pressed to the glassPressed to the wall
698
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,480
♪ By the way
699
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:12,000
♪ It's your second faceI didn't see
700
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,680
♪ About what I heard
701
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,880
Verona!
What are you doing here?
702
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,120
(MUSIC CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY)
703
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:19,600
I need agua!
704
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:24,640
♪ All the thingsI didn't know about you
705
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:25,760
♪ So won't youcome on, come on
706
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,400
Two waters.
707
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:33,040
♪ Come on to my embrace ♪
708
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:36,640
If you're planning
on asking me out,
709
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:37,880
you might as well
just get it over with.
710
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:41,360
Do you mind?
You're kind of
ruining this for me.
711
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,960
You're not surrounded by
your usual cloud of smoke.
712
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:46,920
I know. I quit.
Apparently
they're bad for you.
713
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,480
You think?
714
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:53,560
You know, these guys
are no Bikini Kill
or the Raincoats.
715
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:55,640
But they're not bad.
716
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,040
You know who
the Raincoats are?
717
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:02,640
Why, don't you?
718
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,520
I was watching you
out there before.
719
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:08,000
I've never seen you
look so sexy.
720
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,040
(MUSIC STOPS)
721
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:10,560
(LAUGHING)
722
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:21,920
Come to Bogey's
party with me.
You never give up, do you?
723
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,440
(BAND STARTS)
724
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:25,680
Was that a yes?
725
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,360
No.
726
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,120
Well, then, was that a no?
727
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:30,640
No.
728
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:32,440
I'll see you at 9:30 then!
729
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,360
Should have used the window.
730
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:47,960
Hi, Daddy.
Hi.
731
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:51,200
Where are we going?
732
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,240
Well, if you must know,
a small study group
of friends.
733
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,080
Otherwise known as an orgy?
734
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:59,480
Mr. Stratford,
it's just a party.
735
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,560
And hell is just a sauna.
736
00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,960
Do you know anything
about a party?
737
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:06,760
People expect me
to be there.
738
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:08,520
Kat's not going,
you're not going.
739
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,280
Why can't you be normal?
740
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,120
Define "normal."
Bogey Lowenstein's
party is normal.
741
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,320
What's a
Bogey Lowenstein?
742
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:16,800
Bogey's party is
just a lame excuse
743
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:18,560
for all the idiots
at our school
to drink beer
744
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,080
and rub up
against each other
745
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,360
in hopes of
distracting themselves
from the pathetic emptiness
746
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:23,400
of their meaningless...
747
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,920
TOGETHER: Meaningless,
consumer-driven lives.
748
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,520
(CHUCKLES)
749
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,040
Can you,
for just one night,
750
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,080
forget that you're
completely wretched
and be my sister?
751
00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:34,000
Please?
752
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,000
Please?
753
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:42,080
(SIGHS) Come on, Kat.
Please do this for me.
754
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,040
Fine.
I'll make an appearance.
755
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,400
(SHRIEKING)
756
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:54,360
It's starting.
757
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:55,760
It's just a party, Daddy.
758
00:39:58,840 --> 00:39:59,920
I want you to wear the belly.
759
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:01,400
(GASPS)
760
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:02,880
Daddy, no.
761
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:04,960
Not all night.
762
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,960
Just around
the living room for a minute
so you can understand
763
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,600
the full weight
of your decisions.
764
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,800
I am perfectly aware...
Listen to me.
765
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,280
Every time you even think
about kissing a boy,
766
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,080
I want you to
picture wearing this
under your halter top.
767
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:21,160
You are so
completely unbalanced.
768
00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:22,240
(GROANS)
769
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,200
We're going now.
All right, wait a minute.
770
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,480
No drinking,
no drugs, no kissing,
771
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:31,760
no tattoos, no piercings,
no ritual animal
slaughters of any kind.
772
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:33,520
Oh, God,
I'm giving them ideas.
773
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:35,320
(SIGHS) Daddy!
774
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:38,000
What are you doing here?
775
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:39,400
9:30, right?
776
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,160
Oh, I'm early.
777
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,440
Whatever. I'm driving.
778
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,080
Who knocked up
your sister?
779
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,600
So then, Bianca says
that I was right,
780
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,320
that she didn't wear
the Kenneth Coles
with that dress
781
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:58,080
because she thought
that it was, uh,
mixing genres, right?
782
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:01,760
And the fact that I noticed,
and this is
a direct quote, listen,
783
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:04,400
"Really meant something."
784
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,080
You told me
that part already.
785
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:08,680
I've been thinking
about her all the time.
786
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:13,360
Stop being so self-involved
for one minute. How do I look?
787
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,840
You look like
my Great Uncle Milton.
788
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,320
You think I should
lose the tie?
Yeah.
789
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,000
Maybe you're right.
I'm just so nervous.
790
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,880
And I'm also very excited.
I'm nervous, I'm excited.
791
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:26,880
It's all very mixed up.
I don't know what to do!
792
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,680
All right, just calm down,
all right? Shh.
793
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:33,040
The last party I went to
was at Chuck E. Cheese.
794
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:37,000
You want to talk
about some fun.
That's a good time.
795
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,760
Now, remember, guys.
Don't touch anything.
796
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,160
(CHUCKLES)
797
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:07,960
Oop! What did I tell you?
798
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:10,000
(DOORBELL RINGING)
799
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,720
Oh.
Must be Nigel
with the Brie.
800
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:15,480
(KICKING DOOR)
801
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:19,200
(GROUP CHEERING)
802
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:27,000
(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)
803
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,760
You know, I'm...
I'm thinking of
getting a Tercel.
804
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:45,880
Yeah, that's a Toyota.
805
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:51,160
It has dual side air bags
and a spacious back seat.
806
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,280
Kiss me!
Kiss him.
807
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:01,800
Okay.
Good.
808
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,040
Hey, thanks, man!
809
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:08,480
(BODY THUDS)
810
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,320
Sweet.
811
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,800
Looking fresh tonight,
pussycat.
812
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,600
Wait. Was that...
Did your hairline
just recede?
813
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,000
Hey, where are you goin'?
814
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:23,160
Away.
815
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:24,760
Your sister here?
816
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:25,880
Stay away
from my sister.
817
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,600
Oh, I'll stay away
from your sister.
818
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,040
But I can't guarantee
she'll stay away from me.
819
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,400
Fight!
820
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:35,400
Ooh, fight!
821
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,080
(CHEERING)
822
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:38,640
(HOOTING)
823
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:44,960
You guys, please!
Take it outside!
824
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,680
(GROUP GASPING)
825
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:52,480
Thank you!
826
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,560
Hey, Kat.
Look who found me.
827
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:00,520
Bianca, wait.
828
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,040
Please do not
address me in public.
829
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:03,600
No, there's something
I need to tell you.
830
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,920
I am busy enjoying
my adolescence,
831
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,000
so scamper off
and do the same.
832
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,280
Bu-bye.
833
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:14,040
Want one?
834
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,360
What is this?
Right on, sister!
835
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:18,640
(COUGHS)
836
00:44:18,720 --> 00:44:20,760
I've been looking
all over the place for you.
837
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,520
I'm getting trashed, man.
Isn't that what you're
supposed to do at a party?
838
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,920
I don't know.
I say do what
you want to do.
839
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,040
Funny.
You're the only one.
840
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:29,600
Later.
841
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,880
Lord of the dance!
Hi, Heather.
842
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:46,080
Bite me.
843
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:47,880
(CHUCKLES)
Should've kept the tie.
844
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,840
Hey. Hey,
have you seen her
around anywhere?
845
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,040
Relax.
Relax? I'm fine.
846
00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:55,720
Follow the love.
847
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:00,240
Hi, Bianca.
848
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:02,840
Oh, hi, Cameron.
849
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:06,840
Um, you know Chastity?
850
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:11,440
Uh, yeah.
I think, uh, we have
art together, right?
851
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:12,720
Neat.
852
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:16,640
So, um, you...
853
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,280
You really look amazing.
854
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:21,760
Thanks.
855
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:23,480
And we all know
I look amazing.
856
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:24,680
(BOTH LAUGHING)
857
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,240
Yeah.
858
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:30,120
Bianca, let's go.
We're all congregating
around Mr. Cuervo.
859
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,520
Um, I'll see you
around, okay?
860
00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:45,800
(GIGGLING)
861
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,600
So, I've got
the Sears catalog
thing going,
862
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:50,960
and the tube sock gig,
that is gonna be huge.
863
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,200
(SCREAMS)
864
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:53,800
(CROWD GASPING)
865
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,200
And I'm up for
a hemorrhoid cream ad
next week.
866
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,520
I know it sounds
kind of bogus, but...
867
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,880
I get to do some acting.
868
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,400
You see what I did there?
Uh-huh.
869
00:46:12,720 --> 00:46:15,920
That was underwear.
I'll show you
the bathing suit one again.
870
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,800
You see the difference?
871
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,360
All right,
I'll show you guys.
872
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,200
Ohhh!
873
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:42,520
♪ Friends tell me I'm crazy
874
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,920
♪ That I'm wasting timewith you
875
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,560
♪ You'll never be mine ♪
876
00:46:55,240 --> 00:46:57,920
Is it me,
or does this party
all of a sudden suck?
877
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:06,960
Really, really,
878
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:08,360
thank you!
879
00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:11,840
Hey. Hey, Kat,
why don't you let me
have this one, huh?
880
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:13,720
No! This one's mine.
881
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,760
My man!
How did you
get her to do it?
882
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:19,560
Do what?
Act like a human.
883
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:21,960
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
884
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:23,640
Yeah! All right!
885
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:25,440
Go!
886
00:47:30,240 --> 00:47:31,600
See this?
887
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:40,880
Whoo!
888
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,600
(HEAD HITTING CHANDELIER)
889
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,880
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
890
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,840
You're not fine.
Come on.
891
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:13,800
I just need to lie down.
892
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:16,240
Uh-huh.
You lie down and
you'll go to sleep.
893
00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:17,520
Sleep is good.
894
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:18,840
Not if you have
a concussion.
895
00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:21,120
Come on.
Here, sit down.
896
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:23,560
Sit.
897
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:25,040
Hey, hey,
we need to talk.
898
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:26,440
I'm a little busy
right now.
899
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:27,920
Can you give me
a second?
900
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,120
What?
It's off, okay?
The whole thing's off.
901
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:36,440
What are you
talking about?
902
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:37,800
(SIGHS)
903
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,960
She never wanted me.
She wanted Joey
the whole time.
904
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,280
Cameron,
do you like the girl?
905
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,640
Yeah.
And is she worth
all this trouble?
906
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:48,720
I thought she was,
but, you know, I...
907
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:50,720
Well, she is
or she isn't.
908
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:53,400
See, first of all,
Joey is not half
the man you are.
909
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:55,400
Secondly,
don't let anyone
ever make you feel
910
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,120
like you don't deserve
what you want.
911
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:00,000
Go for it!
912
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:03,520
(SOFTLY WHIMPERING)
913
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:05,480
Come on.
Why?
914
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:08,600
(CHUCKLES)
915
00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:16,240
(SIGHS)
916
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:17,480
This is so patronizing.
917
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,160
(GROANS) Leave it to you
to use big words
when you're smashed.
918
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:21,680
(CHUCKLES)
I don't think so.
919
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:23,720
Kat.
920
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:26,320
Why are you doing this?
921
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:28,160
I told you.
You may have
a concussion.
922
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:29,800
You don't care
if I never wake up.
923
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:31,880
Sure I do.
Why?
924
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:35,120
Because then I'd have to
start taking out girls
who actually like me.
925
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:36,240
Like you could find one.
926
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:37,320
Oh, see? That, there.
927
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,480
Who needs affection
when I have blind hatred?
928
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,200
I just...
Let me sit down
for a while.
929
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:43,040
All right. There.
930
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:51,160
(GASPS) Geez!
Whoo!
931
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:52,200
(CHUCKLES)
932
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:00,560
So, why'd you
let him get to you?
Who?
933
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:01,640
Joey.
934
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:03,080
I hate him.
935
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:08,560
Well, you've chosen
the perfect revenge,
mainlining tequila.
936
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:11,960
Well, you know
what they say.
937
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:13,720
Nope.
What do they say?
938
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,680
No, no, no, no.
Kat, come on, wake up!
Look at me!
939
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,560
Listen to me, Kat!
Open your eyes!
940
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:23,720
(PANTING)
941
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:27,960
Hey.
942
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,160
Your eyes have
a little green in them.
943
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,400
(CHUCKLES)
944
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,040
(VOMITING)
945
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:41,440
(COUGHING)
946
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:48,040
(COUGHING CONTINUES)
947
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:50,600
I don't know
if we should go.
948
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:53,600
Hey, a bunch of us
are going to Jarrett's.
Ready?
949
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,160
Um, I have to be
home in 20 minutes.
950
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,600
Well, you know
I don't have to be home
till 2:00, so...
951
00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:01,480
One more chance.
952
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,560
Aw, man, I can't.
953
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:04,960
Damn.
954
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:06,240
That's a shame.
955
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,160
You wanna go?
Sure.
956
00:51:09,240 --> 00:51:11,320
Chastity!
Hey, you passed.
957
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:13,600
Bitch.
958
00:51:18,240 --> 00:51:19,960
Hey. Have fun tonight?
959
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:21,240
Tons.
960
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,960
Hey, Cameron? Um...
961
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:27,960
Do you think you could
give me a ride home?
962
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:31,760
(CRUEL TO BE KIND PLAYING)
963
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:31,760
(CRUEL TO BE KIND PLAYING)
964
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:33,280
I should do this.
965
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:35,320
Do what?
This!
966
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,360
Start a band?
No, install car stereos.
967
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:43,040
Yeah, start a band.
My father would love that.
968
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,960
♪ I pick myselfup off the ground
969
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,760
♪ To have youknock me back down
970
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:51,840
♪ Again and again
971
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:55,280
♪ And when I askyou to explain ♪
972
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:56,360
(TURNS RADIO OFF)
973
00:51:56,440 --> 00:52:00,400
You don't strike me
as the type that would ask
your father for permission.
974
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,120
Oh, so now you think
you know me?
975
00:52:02,240 --> 00:52:03,880
I'm getting there.
976
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:07,400
The only thing
people know about me
is that I'm scary.
977
00:52:08,720 --> 00:52:11,360
Yeah, well,
I'm no picnic myself.
978
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:20,840
Uh, so what's up
with your dad?
979
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:23,000
Is he...
Is he a pain in the ass?
980
00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:25,840
No, he just wants me
to be somebody that I'm not.
981
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:27,680
Who?
(MOCKINGLY) Bianca.
982
00:52:27,720 --> 00:52:29,120
Oh, Bianca.
983
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:36,000
No offense or anything...
I mean I know everyone
"digs" your sister,
984
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,720
but, um, she's without.
985
00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:47,520
You know,
986
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,400
you're not as vile
as I thought you were.
987
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,560
Maybe we should do
this another time.
988
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:11,320
(SCOFFS)
989
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:30,160
(CAR RADIO PLAYING)
990
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:42,840
(ENGINE AND RADIO STOP)
991
00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:53,400
You never wanted
to go sailing
with me, did you?
992
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:56,200
Yes, I did.
993
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,080
No, you didn't.
994
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:03,440
Okay, no, not actually...
995
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,200
Well, then that's
all you had to say.
996
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:10,920
Have you always
been this selfish?
997
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:15,560
(SOFTLY) Yes.
998
00:54:19,280 --> 00:54:20,680
You know,
just 'cause
you're beautiful,
999
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:24,760
that doesn't mean
that you can treat people
like they don't matter.
1000
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,960
I mean,
I really liked you, okay.
1001
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,920
I defended you
when people
called you conceited,
1002
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:32,840
I helped you
when you asked me to,
1003
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:35,240
I learned French for you
1004
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,320
and then you
just blow me off
so you could...
1005
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:09,760
And I'm back in the game!
1006
00:55:13,240 --> 00:55:17,520
Kat, me lady.
You sway to the rhythm
of me heart.
1007
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:19,520
Dance for me, cowgirl.
1008
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:22,360
Kat, babe,
what do we owe you
for the table dance?
1009
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:25,240
All right,
not that I give a damn,
1010
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:26,480
but how was
everybody's weekend?
1011
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,440
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe we should ask Kat.
1012
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:32,080
Unless she kicked the crap
out of your dumb butt,
1013
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:34,120
I don't wanna hear about it.
1014
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,960
Okay, let's open up our books
to page 73, Sonnet 141.
1015
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:40,520
And listen up.
1016
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:42,560
"In faith,
I do not love thee
with mine eyes
1017
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:44,720
"For they in thee
a thousand errors note
1018
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:46,960
"But 'tis my heart that loves
what they despise
1019
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:49,880
"Who, in despite of view,
is pleas'd to dote"
1020
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:54,680
Now, I know Shakespeare's
a dead white guy,
1021
00:55:54,720 --> 00:55:57,320
but he knows his shit,
so we can overlook that.
1022
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:00,160
I want you all to write
your own version
of this sonnet.
1023
00:56:00,240 --> 00:56:02,240
(CLASS GROANS)
1024
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,560
Yes, Miss I-Have-An-Opinion-
About-Everything?
1025
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:08,400
Do you want this
in iambic pentameter?
1026
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:10,960
You're not gonna
fight me on this?
1027
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:13,440
No, I think
it's a really
good assignment.
1028
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:16,080
(CHUCKLES)
You're just messin'
with me, aren't you?
1029
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:19,040
No, I'm really looking
forward to writing it.
1030
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:20,400
Get out of my class.
1031
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:22,760
What?
Out. Get out!
1032
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,040
Thanks, Mr. Morgan.
Shut up.
1033
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:49,280
♪ I can't getenough of you, baby
1034
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:52,400
♪ I can't getenough of you, baby
1035
00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:54,200
♪ Yes, it's true ♪
1036
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:58,640
Hey. Cool picture.
1037
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:01,880
What's that collar for?
Is that to keep him
from licking his stitches?
1038
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,280
(LAUGHING)
1039
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:10,080
Kidding. No, because I know
you're a fan of Shakespeare.
1040
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:13,480
(SCOFFS)
More than a fan.
We're involved.
1041
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:15,560
Okay.
1042
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:20,240
"Who could refrain
That had a heart to love
1043
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:22,080
"and in that heart..."
1044
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:24,080
"Courage to make
love known."
1045
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:26,920
That's Macbeth, right?
1046
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:28,160
Right.
1047
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:33,200
So, listen, I...
I have this friend,
1048
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,360
and he likes your friend...
1049
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:38,000
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
1050
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:39,520
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
1051
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:45,480
What did you
do to her?
1052
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,840
I didn't do anything.
She would've been
too drunk to remember.
1053
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:49,680
But the plan
was working.
1054
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:52,600
What do you care?
I thought you wanted out.
1055
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:55,360
Yeah, well,
I did, but, uh,
1056
00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:57,600
that was until
she kissed me.
1057
00:57:58,920 --> 00:58:00,160
Where?
1058
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:01,200
In the car.
1059
00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:05,560
Sorry.
1060
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:07,480
Dweeb! Putz!
I'm sorry.
1061
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:09,680
All right,
I talked to her.
I got the scoop.
1062
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:10,840
What'd she say?
1063
00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:13,360
"Hates him with the fire
of a thousand suns."
1064
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:15,280
That's a direct quote.
1065
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,560
Thanks, Michael.
That's very
comforting of you.
1066
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,880
We don't know.
She could need
a day to cool off.
1067
00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:31,120
Maybe two.
1068
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:36,760
♪ Take time for your pleasureand laugh with love
1069
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:40,960
♪ Take the hand of anotherand sing forthe wings of a dove
1070
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:42,080
Hey!
1071
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:46,000
Can you imagine
who would go to that
antiquated mating ritual?
1072
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:48,360
I would,
but I don't have
a date.
1073
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:50,320
Do you really want
to get all dressed up,
1074
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:53,840
so some Drakkar Noir-wearing
dexter with a boner
can feel you up
1075
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:57,120
while you're forced
to listen to a band
that by definition blows?
1076
00:58:57,200 --> 00:58:59,120
All right, all right,
we won't go.
1077
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:01,800
It's not like
I've got a dress anyway.
1078
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:04,720
You're looking at this
from entirely
the wrong perspective.
1079
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:06,240
We're making a statement.
1080
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,760
Oh, goody.
Something new and
different for us.
1081
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:12,440
♪ Whoa, whoa
1082
00:59:12,640 --> 00:59:14,240
♪ For the wings of a dove
1083
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:16,280
♪ Whoa, whoa
1084
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:18,520
♪ For the wings of a dove
1085
00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:19,600
♪ Whoa, whoa
1086
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:20,760
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
1087
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:22,600
♪ For the wings of a dove
1088
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:24,760
♪ Whoa, whoa
1089
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:27,000
♪ For the wings of a dove ♪
1090
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:28,320
Hey there, Cupid.
1091
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,520
(EXASPERATED SIGH)
Hi, Joey.
1092
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:34,280
You're concentrating
awfully hard
considering it's gym class.
1093
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:35,600
(MAN YELPS)
1094
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:38,280
Can I help you?
I want to talk
to you about prom.
1095
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:41,120
Ow! Ow-ooo!
1096
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,840
Look, you know the deal.
I can't go if Kat doesn't go.
1097
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:48,960
Your sister is going.
1098
00:59:49,480 --> 00:59:51,480
Since when?
1099
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:53,640
Let's just say
I'm taking care of it.
1100
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:02,720
This should take care
of the flowers, the limo,
the tux, everything.
1101
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,280
Just make sure
she gets to the prom.
1102
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:08,800
Do you know what?
I'm sick of playing
your little game.
1103
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:10,880
Okay, wait,
wait, wait.
1104
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:14,320
You sick of,
let's say, 300?
1105
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:36,360
♪ I'm not the sort of person
1106
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:38,440
♪ Who falls
1107
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,480
♪ In and quickly out of love
1108
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:47,480
♪ But to youI gave my affection
1109
01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:50,760
♪ Right from the start
1110
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:55,080
♪ I have a lover
1111
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,880
♪ Who loves me
1112
01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:02,080
♪ How could Ibreak such a heart?
1113
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:06,200
♪ Yet still youget my attention
1114
01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:13,360
♪ Why do you come here
1115
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:17,640
♪ When you knowI've got troubles enough?
1116
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:21,000
♪ Why do you call me
1117
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:25,040
♪ When you knowI can't answer the phone?
1118
01:01:25,360 --> 01:01:29,720
♪ Make me lieand I don't want to
1119
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:33,560
♪ And make someone elsesome kind ofan unknowin' fool ♪
1120
01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:36,000
(MUSIC FADES)
1121
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,040
Excuse me.
Have you seen
The Feminine Mystique?
1122
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:40,240
I've lost my copy.
1123
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:41,480
What are you doing here?
1124
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:43,400
I heard there was
a poetry reading.
1125
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:45,400
You're so...
Charming.
1126
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:48,120
Wholesome.
1127
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:49,720
Unwelcome.
1128
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:54,800
You're not as mean
as you think you are,
you know that?
1129
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:57,240
And you're not as badass
as you think you are.
1130
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,720
Ooh, someone still has
her panties in a twist.
1131
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:03,040
Don't for one minute think
that you had any effect
whatsoever on my panties.
1132
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:04,600
Then what did I have
an effect on?
1133
01:02:04,640 --> 01:02:07,480
Other than my upchuck
reflex, nothing.
1134
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:22,160
You're right,
she's still pissed.
1135
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:24,240
"Sweet love,
renew thy force"
1136
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:28,280
Hey! Don't say shit
like that to me.
People can hear you.
1137
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:30,280
Look,
you embarrassed the girl.
1138
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:33,960
Sacrifice yourself
on the altar of dignity
and even the score.
1139
01:02:37,520 --> 01:02:40,360
Listen, don't say
shit like that to him.
1140
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:42,480
People can hear you.
1141
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:48,440
♪ There's a new kind of worldthat's taking over
1142
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:51,600
♪ It's got devilsIt's got angels
1143
01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:53,840
♪ Sitting on my shoulders
1144
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:58,680
♪ There's a new kind of worldthat's taking over ♪
1145
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:06,000
(MICROPHONE FEEDS BACK)
1146
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:16,840
PATRICK:♪ You're justtoo good to be true
1147
01:03:16,920 --> 01:03:20,720
♪ Can't takemy eyes off of you
1148
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:23,760
♪ You'd be likeheaven to touch
1149
01:03:24,440 --> 01:03:27,360
♪ I wanna hold you so much
1150
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:31,600
♪ At long lastlove has arrived
1151
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:35,360
♪ And I thank GodI'm alive
1152
01:03:36,240 --> 01:03:39,160
♪ You're just too goodto be true
1153
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:43,880
♪ Can't takemy eyes off of you
1154
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:45,120
(BLOWING WHISTLE)
1155
01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:46,600
(PLAYING SONG)
1156
01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:03,560
♪ I love you, baby
1157
01:04:03,640 --> 01:04:07,480
♪ And if it's quite all rightI need you, baby
1158
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:11,760
♪ To warm the lonely nightI love you, baby
1159
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:16,240
♪ Trust in me when I say
1160
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:18,840
♪ Oh, pretty baby
1161
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:22,720
♪ Don't bring me down, I prayOh, pretty baby
1162
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:28,080
♪ Now that I found you, stayand let me love you, baby
1163
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:32,960
♪ Let me love you ♪
1164
01:04:33,280 --> 01:04:34,560
(CONTINUES PLAYING)
1165
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:35,960
(LAUGHS)
1166
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:10,120
(GRIMACING SOFTLY)
1167
01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:11,360
(GIRL GIGGLES)
1168
01:05:18,560 --> 01:05:20,680
You look pretty nervous.
1169
01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:23,280
(TIMIDLY) Yes, sir.
1170
01:05:23,360 --> 01:05:25,480
You're sweating like a pig.
1171
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:27,640
Yes, sir.
1172
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:30,120
Your eyes
are all bloodshot.
1173
01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:32,800
Yes, sir.
1174
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:35,320
You've got pot, don't you?
1175
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:43,440
I'm confiscating this.
1176
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:54,840
This, too.
1177
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:01,920
Mr. Chapin,
can I talk to you
for a second?
1178
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,560
What can I do
for you, Stratford?
1179
01:06:03,640 --> 01:06:06,600
I have some ideas
on how we can improve
the girls' soccer team.
1180
01:06:06,680 --> 01:06:09,000
Great!
Let's talk about it later.
1181
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:13,560
(WHISPERING) The window.
1182
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:16,000
The window.
1183
01:06:16,960 --> 01:06:18,280
(CHUCKLES)
1184
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:20,840
As you know, we have
a really big game
with Hillcrest High...
1185
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:23,120
(GASPS)
Your bicep is huge!
1186
01:06:23,200 --> 01:06:25,840
Oh, my God.
The other one's
even bigger.
1187
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:28,520
You don't take steroids,
do you, because
I've heard steroids
1188
01:06:28,600 --> 01:06:31,160
can severely disintegrate
your package?
1189
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:32,240
(CLASS GROANS)
1190
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:34,080
Not that I'm thinking
about your package.
1191
01:06:34,160 --> 01:06:35,160
That's not the point.
1192
01:06:35,280 --> 01:06:36,280
Let's hope not.
1193
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:37,360
(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)
1194
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:40,120
The point is
they kick our butts
every year.
1195
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:42,480
I was thinking,
I devised a plan
1196
01:06:42,560 --> 01:06:44,800
that will enable us to
finally defeat them.
1197
01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:46,400
Which is?
1198
01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:48,120
That thing that
you taught us.
1199
01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:49,400
What thing?
1200
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,000
Misdirection.
I taught you that?
1201
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:55,840
Yeah,
you or Siegfried or Roy?
Anyway, that's not important.
1202
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:57,000
(FLOORBOARD CREAKS)
1203
01:06:57,040 --> 01:06:58,640
The... Think about it.
1204
01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:01,400
Um, they're looking left
and we're running right.
1205
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,520
Bang, we score. We win.
1206
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:06,400
Okay, but how
do we get 'em
to look left?
1207
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:07,520
(BANGING)
1208
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:09,120
Um, like this.
1209
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:12,000
(CLASS CHEERING)
1210
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:19,600
Okay. Well,
1211
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:23,240
now that you've
seen "the plan,"
1212
01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:27,800
I'm gonna go
and show "the plan"
to someone else.
1213
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:30,960
Okay.
1214
01:07:31,760 --> 01:07:32,800
Hi.
1215
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:40,080
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1216
01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:44,120
I can't thank you enough
for helping me
sneak out of detention.
1217
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:46,080
Very cool.
No problem.
1218
01:07:46,280 --> 01:07:47,440
I thought for sure
I was busted
1219
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:49,400
when I was climbing
out that window,
I tell ya.
1220
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:51,440
So, how did you
keep him distracted?
1221
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:54,640
I dazzled him
with my wits.
1222
01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:00,760
So, what's your excuse?
For?
1223
01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:03,040
For acting
the way we do?
1224
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:06,360
I don't like to do
what people expect.
1225
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:08,120
Why should I live up to
other people's expectations
1226
01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,640
instead of my own?
1227
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:11,120
So, you disappoint 'em
from the start
1228
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:12,800
and then you're covered,
right?
1229
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,240
Something like that.
1230
01:08:17,640 --> 01:08:18,800
Then you screwed up.
1231
01:08:19,520 --> 01:08:20,720
How?
1232
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:23,800
You never disappointed me.
1233
01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:34,320
Are you up for it?
1234
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:36,440
Up for what?
1235
01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:46,160
(GROANS)
1236
01:08:48,560 --> 01:08:50,520
♪ Fascinating new thing
1237
01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:52,120
♪ You delight me
1238
01:08:52,160 --> 01:08:53,160
(GROANS)
1239
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:56,320
♪ And I knowyou're speaking of me
1240
01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:58,120
(LAUGHING)
1241
01:08:58,160 --> 01:09:00,000
♪ Fascinating new thing
1242
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:01,120
(SCREAMS)
1243
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:02,640
♪ Get beside me
1244
01:09:02,680 --> 01:09:04,720
♪ I want you to love me
1245
01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:12,200
♪ I'm surprisedthat you've neverbeen told before ♪
1246
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:13,240
(SHOUTS)
1247
01:09:13,320 --> 01:09:15,880
♪ That you're lovelyand you're perfect
1248
01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:17,920
♪ And that somebody wants you
1249
01:09:35,760 --> 01:09:40,560
♪ I'm surprised thatyou've never been told before
1250
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,320
♪ That you're lovelyand you're perfect
1251
01:09:43,400 --> 01:09:45,520
♪ And that somebody wants you
1252
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:50,280
♪ I'm surprised thatyou've never been told before
1253
01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:52,760
♪ That you're pricelessYeah, you're holy
1254
01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:56,560
♪ Even when you are not new
1255
01:09:57,920 --> 01:09:59,560
(LAUGHING)
1256
01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:00,800
PATRICK: All right, come on.
1257
01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:03,400
♪ Fascinating new thing
1258
01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:07,760
♪ Fascinating new thing
1259
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:09,600
♪ All right ♪
1260
01:10:16,440 --> 01:10:18,440
No, none of
that stuff is true.
1261
01:10:18,480 --> 01:10:21,720
State trooper.
Fallacy. Dead guy
in the parking lot?
1262
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:23,880
Rumor. The duck?
1263
01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:26,240
Hearsay.
Bobby Ridgeway's balls?
1264
01:10:26,600 --> 01:10:29,120
Fact. But he deserved it.
He tried to grope me
in the lunch line.
1265
01:10:29,200 --> 01:10:30,280
Fair enough.
1266
01:10:30,480 --> 01:10:31,560
The accent?
1267
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:35,080
It's real.
I lived in Australia
until I was 10.
1268
01:10:35,400 --> 01:10:38,200
With the Pygmies?
(CHUCKLES) Close.
1269
01:10:38,440 --> 01:10:39,680
With my mom.
1270
01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:44,760
Where were you last year?
I know the porn career
is a lie.
1271
01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:46,160
Do you?
1272
01:10:54,480 --> 01:10:55,680
Tell me something true.
1273
01:10:56,040 --> 01:10:57,280
Something true.
1274
01:11:00,240 --> 01:11:01,600
I hate peas.
1275
01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:05,840
No. Something real.
Something no one else knows.
1276
01:11:06,000 --> 01:11:08,480
Okay. You're sweet,
1277
01:11:11,160 --> 01:11:12,640
and sexy,
1278
01:11:12,720 --> 01:11:14,320
(KISSES NECK)
1279
01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:16,480
and completely hot for me.
1280
01:11:18,120 --> 01:11:19,480
You are amazingly
self-assured.
1281
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:20,920
Has anyone ever
told you that?
1282
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:23,360
I tell myself that
every day, actually.
1283
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:28,760
Go to the prom with me.
1284
01:11:28,880 --> 01:11:30,760
Is that a request
or a command?
1285
01:11:30,840 --> 01:11:33,000
Come on. Go with me.
1286
01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:34,800
No.
1287
01:11:34,840 --> 01:11:36,320
No? Why not?
1288
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:39,000
Because I don't want to.
Because it's
a stupid tradition.
1289
01:11:39,080 --> 01:11:41,840
Come on. People won't
expect you to go.
1290
01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:44,720
Why are you pushing this?
1291
01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:48,920
What's in it for you?
1292
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:51,000
Oh.
1293
01:11:52,520 --> 01:11:56,080
So now I need to have a motive
to want to be with you?
1294
01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:57,400
You tell me.
1295
01:11:59,840 --> 01:12:01,200
You need therapy,
you know that?
1296
01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:03,760
Has anyone ever
told you that?
1297
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:06,520
Answer the question,
Patrick.
Nothing!
1298
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:07,600
There is nothing
in it for me,
1299
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:10,400
just the pleasure
of your company. Okay?
1300
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:12,720
(SCOFFS)
1301
01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:20,800
May I offer you a parsnip?
1302
01:12:20,880 --> 01:12:21,960
No you may not.
1303
01:12:22,040 --> 01:12:23,720
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1304
01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:26,240
Where is my uncle's pencil?
1305
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:32,000
I don't know.
Maybe it is up you ass?
1306
01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:38,560
Wait. Wait a minute.
That...
That's not on this page.
1307
01:12:38,640 --> 01:12:43,120
Let me ask you a question, Cameron.
When are you going to ask me out?
1308
01:12:50,480 --> 01:12:51,720
Merde.
1309
01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:14,840
(GROANS)
1310
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:16,320
(PANTING)
1311
01:13:17,680 --> 01:13:18,880
Seven!
1312
01:13:21,960 --> 01:13:23,120
Good.
1313
01:13:27,440 --> 01:13:28,480
Daddy?
1314
01:13:28,560 --> 01:13:29,600
Hi, honey.
1315
01:13:30,280 --> 01:13:34,440
I'd like to discuss
tomorrow night with you.
As you know, it's the prom...
1316
01:13:40,840 --> 01:13:43,280
The prom?
Kat has a date?
1317
01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:45,600
Well, no.
1318
01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:48,040
Don't think
you're fooling me.
1319
01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:49,480
I know who you wanna
bend the rules for.
1320
01:13:49,520 --> 01:13:51,480
It's that hot-rod Joey.
1321
01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:53,200
What's a hot rod?
1322
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:56,960
It's a...
If your sister's
not going,
1323
01:13:57,040 --> 01:13:59,240
you're not going.
End of story.
1324
01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:01,160
Okay, let's review.
1325
01:14:01,240 --> 01:14:04,280
Kat, not interested,
me, dying to go.
1326
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:06,600
Do you know what
happens at proms?
1327
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:09,440
Yes, Daddy. We'll dance,
we'll kiss, we'll come home.
1328
01:14:09,480 --> 01:14:12,080
It's not quite
the crisis situation
you imagine.
1329
01:14:12,160 --> 01:14:14,320
Kissing, huh?
That's what you
think happens?
1330
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:15,360
Got news for you.
1331
01:14:15,440 --> 01:14:19,960
Kissing isn't what
keeps me up to my elbows
in placenta all day long.
1332
01:14:20,480 --> 01:14:23,440
Can we for two seconds
ignore the fact that
you're severely unhinged,
1333
01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:26,000
and discuss
my need for a night
of teenage normalcy?
1334
01:14:26,040 --> 01:14:29,120
What's normal?
Those damn
Dawson's River kids,
1335
01:14:29,160 --> 01:14:31,640
sleeping in
each other's beds
and whatnot?
1336
01:14:32,560 --> 01:14:33,680
Daddy, that is so not...
1337
01:14:33,720 --> 01:14:34,760
Got news for ya.
1338
01:14:34,840 --> 01:14:36,520
I'm down.
I've got the 4-1-1.
1339
01:14:36,560 --> 01:14:38,920
And you are not
going out and getting
jiggy with some boy.
1340
01:14:39,040 --> 01:14:41,440
I don't care
how dope his ride is.
1341
01:14:41,840 --> 01:14:43,200
(GROANS)
1342
01:14:46,520 --> 01:14:48,920
My mama didn't
raise no fool.
1343
01:14:50,360 --> 01:14:51,880
Thanks, Bill.
1344
01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:56,200
Ridiculous amounts of loveacross this nation worldwide.
1345
01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:56,200
Ridiculous amounts of loveacross this nation worldwide.
1346
01:14:56,240 --> 01:14:57,240
(CHUCKLES)
1347
01:14:57,320 --> 01:14:58,560
Believe it.
1348
01:14:59,720 --> 01:15:01,600
GIRL:This is the true story.
1349
01:15:01,880 --> 01:15:03,760
The Real World.
MAN: Seattle.
1350
01:15:04,520 --> 01:15:05,880
(KNOCKING)
1351
01:15:06,480 --> 01:15:07,880
(GROANS) Come in.
1352
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:10,800
(SLOW PIANO ON TV)
1353
01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:16,240
Listen, I know...
1354
01:15:17,560 --> 01:15:19,200
(TV SHUTS OFF)
1355
01:15:19,240 --> 01:15:20,720
I know you hate
having to sit at home
1356
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:22,400
because I'm not
Suzy High School.
1357
01:15:22,480 --> 01:15:24,000
Like you care.
1358
01:15:24,080 --> 01:15:25,120
I do care.
1359
01:15:25,920 --> 01:15:28,560
But I'm a firm believer
in doing something
for your own reasons,
1360
01:15:28,600 --> 01:15:30,600
and not someone else's.
1361
01:15:31,520 --> 01:15:33,560
Well, I wish
I had that luxury.
1362
01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:35,200
You know,
I'm the only sophomore
1363
01:15:35,240 --> 01:15:36,360
that got asked
to go to the prom,
1364
01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:39,440
and I can't go
because you
don't feel like it.
1365
01:15:43,400 --> 01:15:46,640
Joey never told you
that we went out,
did he?
1366
01:15:46,720 --> 01:15:48,400
Yeah, okay.
1367
01:15:49,120 --> 01:15:50,880
In ninth, for a month.
1368
01:15:56,880 --> 01:15:57,920
Why?
1369
01:15:57,960 --> 01:16:00,080
Because he was,
like, such a babe.
1370
01:16:01,280 --> 01:16:02,560
But you hate Joey.
1371
01:16:02,960 --> 01:16:04,320
Now I do.
1372
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:06,400
So, what happened?
1373
01:16:11,040 --> 01:16:15,200
(LAUGHS) Oh!
Please tell me you're joking.
1374
01:16:15,760 --> 01:16:19,160
Just once,
right after Mom left.
1375
01:16:20,440 --> 01:16:22,880
Everyone was doing it, so...
1376
01:16:22,960 --> 01:16:24,240
I did it.
1377
01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:26,960
Afterwards I told him
I didn't want to anymore
1378
01:16:27,040 --> 01:16:28,640
because I wasn't ready,
1379
01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:31,200
and he got pissed
and he dumped me.
1380
01:16:32,480 --> 01:16:34,240
After that I swore
I'd never do anything
1381
01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:36,240
just because
everyone else
was doing it.
1382
01:16:36,320 --> 01:16:37,920
And I haven't since,
1383
01:16:38,560 --> 01:16:40,280
with the exception
of Bogey's party
1384
01:16:40,320 --> 01:16:42,920
and my stunning
digestive pyrotechnics.
1385
01:16:45,160 --> 01:16:47,920
How is it possible
that I did not
know about this?
1386
01:16:48,760 --> 01:16:50,200
I warned him that
if he told anyone,
1387
01:16:50,280 --> 01:16:53,760
the cheerleading squad
would find out
how tiny his dick is.
1388
01:16:56,800 --> 01:16:59,600
Okay, so why
didn't you tell me?
1389
01:17:01,480 --> 01:17:04,360
I wanted
to let you make up
your mind about him.
1390
01:17:05,840 --> 01:17:08,760
Then why did you help Daddy
hold me hostage?
1391
01:17:09,160 --> 01:17:12,520
It's not like
I'm stupid enough
to repeat your mistakes.
1392
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:14,520
I guess I thought
I was protecting you.
1393
01:17:14,600 --> 01:17:17,600
By not letting me experience
anything for myself?
1394
01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:20,320
Not all experiences
are good, Bianca.
1395
01:17:20,360 --> 01:17:22,440
You can't always trust
the people you want to.
1396
01:17:22,520 --> 01:17:25,040
Well, I guess
I'll never know,
will I?
1397
01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:50,280
♪ The gray ceilingon the Earth
1398
01:17:50,360 --> 01:17:52,840
♪ Well, it lasted for a while
1399
01:17:53,040 --> 01:17:55,760
♪ Take my thoughtsfor what they're worth
1400
01:17:56,080 --> 01:17:59,000
♪ I've been actinglike a child
1401
01:17:59,120 --> 01:18:01,960
♪ But what else,what else can I do?
1402
01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:05,840
♪ I said I'm sorryYeah, I'm sorry ♪
1403
01:18:10,240 --> 01:18:12,000
Ladies with thinninghair or bald spots,
1404
01:18:12,080 --> 01:18:14,240
G.L.H. solvesthe problem instantly.
1405
01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:16,560
G.L.H. is not a paintor a cover-up.
1406
01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:18,680
It's an amazingpowder that clings
1407
01:18:18,840 --> 01:18:20,720
to the tiniest hairson your head.
1408
01:18:21,040 --> 01:18:22,920
It actually builds on itself,
1409
01:18:22,960 --> 01:18:25,600
leaving you with great,great-looking hair.
1410
01:18:25,680 --> 01:18:27,360
And the G.L.H. hair systemis not expensive.
1411
01:18:27,400 --> 01:18:28,400
Interesting.
1412
01:18:28,480 --> 01:18:30,920
Order your G.L.H.hair package now.
1413
01:18:31,720 --> 01:18:33,960
Bye, Dad.
I'm going to the prom.
1414
01:18:34,520 --> 01:18:35,560
Funny, sweetie.
1415
01:18:35,600 --> 01:18:36,640
(DOOR OPENS)
1416
01:18:36,720 --> 01:18:38,720
It instantly coversyour bald spotleaving you with great...
1417
01:18:38,760 --> 01:18:40,120
(DOOR CLOSES)
1418
01:18:43,680 --> 01:18:44,760
What's that?
1419
01:18:44,800 --> 01:18:45,840
A prom dress.
1420
01:18:46,080 --> 01:18:47,840
I seem to be
hearing that word
a lot lately.
1421
01:18:47,920 --> 01:18:49,560
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1422
01:18:53,920 --> 01:18:55,440
Hi.
1423
01:18:55,560 --> 01:18:57,080
Wow. I, um...
1424
01:18:58,160 --> 01:18:59,760
(STAMMERS)
1425
01:18:59,760 --> 01:19:01,680
(CHUCKLES) Wow.
1426
01:19:02,440 --> 01:19:03,560
(CHUCKLES) Bye, Daddy.
1427
01:19:03,680 --> 01:19:04,840
Stop.
1428
01:19:04,920 --> 01:19:07,720
Turn. Explain.
1429
01:19:09,120 --> 01:19:12,480
Okay. Remember how you said
I could date if Kat dated?
1430
01:19:12,480 --> 01:19:14,800
Well, she found this guy
who's actually kind
of perfect for her
1431
01:19:14,880 --> 01:19:16,280
which is perfect for me,
1432
01:19:16,320 --> 01:19:17,800
because Cameron
asked me to go
to the prom
1433
01:19:17,880 --> 01:19:19,160
and I really,
really wanna go,
1434
01:19:19,240 --> 01:19:20,880
and since Kat went
I guess I'm allowed to
1435
01:19:20,960 --> 01:19:22,480
based on
the aforementioned rule,
1436
01:19:22,560 --> 01:19:24,640
and its previous
stipulations,
of course.
1437
01:19:25,480 --> 01:19:27,360
Nice to meet you.
Let's go.
1438
01:19:31,160 --> 01:19:32,760
I know every cop
in town, bucko!
1439
01:19:36,800 --> 01:19:38,480
This is not good.
1440
01:19:40,160 --> 01:19:44,160
♪ I said I want you to know
1441
01:19:44,440 --> 01:19:47,280
♪ I said I want youto know right now
1442
01:19:48,440 --> 01:19:51,160
♪ Well, I want you to know
1443
01:19:52,440 --> 01:19:57,680
♪ I said I wantyou to know
1444
01:19:58,120 --> 01:20:01,000
♪ Whoa
1445
01:20:02,800 --> 01:20:05,000
♪ Shout, shout
1446
01:20:05,360 --> 01:20:07,640
CROWD: ♪ Shout, shout
1447
01:20:08,360 --> 01:20:09,840
♪ Hey
1448
01:20:09,920 --> 01:20:11,520
CROWD: ♪ Hey ♪
1449
01:20:11,560 --> 01:20:13,120
(MUSIC FADES)
1450
01:20:20,200 --> 01:20:21,320
Wow.
1451
01:20:22,880 --> 01:20:24,120
You, too.
1452
01:20:27,240 --> 01:20:28,840
Where'd you get a tux
at the last minute?
1453
01:20:28,880 --> 01:20:32,080
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.
1454
01:20:32,440 --> 01:20:33,720
Where'd you
get the dress?
1455
01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:36,320
Oh, just something I had,
you know, lying around.
1456
01:20:39,920 --> 01:20:43,760
Listen, I'm really sorry
that I questioned
your motives.
1457
01:20:44,360 --> 01:20:45,960
I was wrong.
1458
01:20:46,040 --> 01:20:48,880
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
You're forgiven.
1459
01:20:52,320 --> 01:20:53,440
Okay.
1460
01:20:54,480 --> 01:20:55,600
Ready for the prom?
1461
01:20:55,680 --> 01:20:56,760
Yes, ma'am.
1462
01:21:10,560 --> 01:21:14,080
Hi, Mr. Stratford. I'm Joey.
I'm here to pick up Bianca.
1463
01:21:23,080 --> 01:21:24,240
♪ ...on their minds
1464
01:21:24,320 --> 01:21:28,520
♪ Their hormones are ragingand they want it all the time
1465
01:21:28,600 --> 01:21:31,080
♪ And I knowI know 'cause you said so
1466
01:21:31,200 --> 01:21:33,400
♪ And I can'tjust let you go and
1467
01:21:33,440 --> 01:21:35,400
♪ I know,I know 'cause you said so
1468
01:21:35,440 --> 01:21:37,120
Have you seen him?
Who?
1469
01:21:37,200 --> 01:21:39,840
William.
He asked me
to meet him here.
1470
01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:42,520
Oh, Mandella,
please tell me you haven't
1471
01:21:42,600 --> 01:21:45,040
progressed to
full-on hallucinations.
1472
01:21:45,760 --> 01:21:48,200
♪ You're nice to seeand nice to touch
1473
01:21:48,280 --> 01:21:50,600
♪ But I would never,ever, ever treat you wrong
1474
01:21:50,640 --> 01:21:53,080
♪ Been waiting for youall day long
1475
01:21:53,120 --> 01:21:57,680
♪ And I know,I know 'cause you said soand I can't just let you go
1476
01:21:57,760 --> 01:22:02,960
♪ And I know,I know 'cause you said soand I can't just let you go ♪
1477
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:08,960
Milady.
1478
01:22:09,360 --> 01:22:10,480
Good sir.
1479
01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:34,520
(CRUEL TO BE KIND PLAYING)
1480
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:36,480
Oh, my God, it's...
1481
01:22:38,200 --> 01:22:40,160
I called in a favor!
1482
01:22:46,320 --> 01:22:49,880
♪ Oh, I can't takeanother heartache
1483
01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:54,000
♪ Though you sayyou're my friendI'm at my wits' end
1484
01:22:54,280 --> 01:22:56,600
♪ You say your loveis bona fide
1485
01:22:56,680 --> 01:23:01,200
♪ But that don't coincidewith the things that you do
1486
01:23:01,240 --> 01:23:05,160
♪ And whenI ask you to be nice
1487
01:23:05,400 --> 01:23:07,480
♪ You say you gotta be
1488
01:23:07,520 --> 01:23:10,880
♪ Cruel to be kindin the right measure
1489
01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:13,800
♪ Cruel to be kindIt's a very good sign
1490
01:23:14,320 --> 01:23:19,480
♪ Cruel to be kindmeans that I love you, baby
1491
01:23:19,520 --> 01:23:21,520
♪ You gotta be cruelto be kind
1492
01:23:21,520 --> 01:23:25,960
♪ Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oo
1493
01:23:26,040 --> 01:23:29,480
♪ Cruel to be kindin the right measure
1494
01:23:29,560 --> 01:23:32,560
♪ Cruel to be kindIt's a very good sign ♪
1495
01:23:32,840 --> 01:23:35,680
(GIRLS CHATTERING)
1496
01:23:37,560 --> 01:23:39,040
What are you doing here?
1497
01:23:39,160 --> 01:23:41,680
I know you didn't think
you were the only
sophomore at the prom.
1498
01:23:41,720 --> 01:23:43,440
Joey just picked me up.
1499
01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:46,640
Oh, well, congratulations.
He's all yours.
1500
01:23:46,720 --> 01:23:48,240
Very generous, princess.
1501
01:23:48,440 --> 01:23:51,640
And just so you know,
Joey only liked you
for one reason.
1502
01:23:51,760 --> 01:23:53,600
He even had a bet going
with his friends.
1503
01:23:53,680 --> 01:23:55,920
He was gonna
nail you tonight.
1504
01:24:00,920 --> 01:24:03,120
Milwaukee.
What?
1505
01:24:03,360 --> 01:24:06,240
That's where I was last year.
I wasn't in jail.
1506
01:24:06,600 --> 01:24:11,520
I don't know Marilyn Manson
and I didn't sleep with
a Spice Girl, I don't think.
1507
01:24:11,720 --> 01:24:15,440
You see, my grandpa,
he was ill so I spent most
of the year on his couch
1508
01:24:15,520 --> 01:24:19,000
watching Wheel of Fortune
and making SpaghettiOs.
1509
01:24:19,520 --> 01:24:21,560
End of story.
1510
01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:22,960
No way.
1511
01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:29,080
Hey. What's Bianca doing here
with that cheese dick?
1512
01:24:29,280 --> 01:24:30,760
I didn't pay you
to take out Kat
1513
01:24:30,800 --> 01:24:33,600
so some little punk
could snake me
with Bianca.
1514
01:24:38,120 --> 01:24:40,240
Nothing in it for you, huh?
1515
01:24:51,640 --> 01:24:53,720
The shit hath hitteth
1516
01:24:53,840 --> 01:24:55,960
the faneth.
1517
01:24:59,800 --> 01:25:02,880
Joey, pal, compadre?
1518
01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:09,280
You messed
with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.
1519
01:25:09,320 --> 01:25:11,960
You and that
little bitch.
1520
01:25:12,680 --> 01:25:15,480
All right,
that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.
1521
01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:20,480
Oh, come on!
Get up, you little punk!
1522
01:25:25,600 --> 01:25:28,840
Shit, Bianca! I'm shooting
a nose spray ad tomorrow!
1523
01:25:28,920 --> 01:25:32,040
That's for making
my date bleed!
That's for my sister!
1524
01:25:32,280 --> 01:25:33,440
(GROANS)
1525
01:25:33,520 --> 01:25:35,160
And that's for me.
1526
01:25:42,760 --> 01:25:44,280
Are you okay?
1527
01:25:45,280 --> 01:25:46,880
Never been better.
1528
01:25:52,160 --> 01:25:54,440
(GROANING CONTINUES)
1529
01:25:56,200 --> 01:25:57,240
Would you give me
a chance...
1530
01:25:57,320 --> 01:26:00,360
You were paid to take me
out by the one person
I truly hate.
1531
01:26:00,440 --> 01:26:02,160
I knew this
was a set-up!
1532
01:26:02,640 --> 01:26:04,960
Kat, it wasn't
like that, okay.
1533
01:26:05,080 --> 01:26:06,560
What was it, like,
a down payment now
1534
01:26:06,560 --> 01:26:07,760
and a bonus for
sleeping with me?
1535
01:26:07,840 --> 01:26:10,800
No, I didn't care
about the money!
I cared...
1536
01:26:11,640 --> 01:26:13,480
I cared about you.
1537
01:26:15,040 --> 01:26:17,360
You are so not
who I thought you were.
1538
01:26:21,040 --> 01:26:25,040
♪ That is how love goes
1539
01:26:26,920 --> 01:26:31,600
♪ You will flyand you will crawl
1540
01:26:31,920 --> 01:26:37,160
♪ God knows even angels fall
1541
01:26:40,640 --> 01:26:43,080
♪ And it's a secret
1542
01:26:43,160 --> 01:26:45,360
♪ That no one tells
1543
01:26:45,600 --> 01:26:50,320
♪ One day it's heavenOne day it's hell
1544
01:26:50,600 --> 01:26:52,840
♪ And it's no fairy tale
1545
01:26:53,080 --> 01:26:55,760
♪ Take it from me
1546
01:26:55,840 --> 01:26:59,760
♪ That's the wayit's supposed to be ♪
1547
01:26:59,840 --> 01:27:02,080
(SIGHS)
You want?
1548
01:27:02,600 --> 01:27:03,800
Thanks.
1549
01:27:05,120 --> 01:27:09,120
So, you sure you don't want
to go sailing with us?
It'll be fun.
1550
01:27:09,520 --> 01:27:11,440
No, I'm fine.
1551
01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:16,960
Look, I don't know
if I ever thanked you
for going last night,
1552
01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:20,440
but it really meant
a lot to me.
1553
01:27:22,880 --> 01:27:24,120
I'm glad.
1554
01:27:26,320 --> 01:27:28,560
Hey.
Hey.
1555
01:27:28,800 --> 01:27:30,600
You ready?
Mmm-hmm.
1556
01:27:32,160 --> 01:27:33,880
See you later.
Bye.
1557
01:27:35,920 --> 01:27:37,080
Is... Is she okay?
1558
01:27:37,600 --> 01:27:38,800
I hope so.
1559
01:27:42,160 --> 01:27:43,720
(DOOR CLOSES)
1560
01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:47,320
Where's your sister going?
1561
01:27:47,520 --> 01:27:51,240
She's meeting some bikers,
big ones, full of sperm.
1562
01:27:53,200 --> 01:27:54,400
Funny.
1563
01:27:56,520 --> 01:27:58,960
So, tell me
about this dance.
Was it hoppin'?
1564
01:28:00,520 --> 01:28:01,760
Parts of it.
1565
01:28:01,840 --> 01:28:03,120
Which parts?
1566
01:28:03,920 --> 01:28:06,920
The part where Bianca
beat the hell
out of some guy.
1567
01:28:07,000 --> 01:28:08,400
Bianca did what?
1568
01:28:08,480 --> 01:28:11,720
What's the matter,
upset that
I rubbed off on her?
1569
01:28:12,480 --> 01:28:14,000
No, impressed.
1570
01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:20,640
Fathers don't
like to admit it
when their daughters
1571
01:28:20,680 --> 01:28:22,000
are capable of running
their own lives.
1572
01:28:22,040 --> 01:28:24,160
It means
we've become spectators.
1573
01:28:28,400 --> 01:28:30,080
Bianca still
lets me play
a few innings.
1574
01:28:30,160 --> 01:28:32,840
You've had me on
the bench for years.
1575
01:28:35,520 --> 01:28:36,880
And when you go
to Sarah Lawrence
1576
01:28:37,000 --> 01:28:38,600
I won't even be able
to watch the game.
1577
01:28:41,200 --> 01:28:42,680
When I go?
1578
01:28:43,880 --> 01:28:46,880
Oh, boy. Don't tell me
you changed your mind.
1579
01:28:47,880 --> 01:28:50,040
I already sent 'em a check.
1580
01:29:07,080 --> 01:29:10,560
All right, I assume
everyone has found time
to complete their poem,
1581
01:29:10,720 --> 01:29:12,400
except for Mr. Donner,
1582
01:29:13,040 --> 01:29:14,560
(LAUGHING)
who has an excuse.
1583
01:29:16,760 --> 01:29:18,880
Shaft, lose the glasses.
1584
01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:26,120
All right,
anyone brave enough
to read theirs aloud?
1585
01:29:34,560 --> 01:29:35,800
I will.
1586
01:29:38,240 --> 01:29:39,760
Lord, here we go.
1587
01:29:45,160 --> 01:29:46,480
(CLEARS THROAT)
1588
01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:51,800
"I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair
1589
01:29:52,080 --> 01:29:56,280
"I hate the way
you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
1590
01:29:56,600 --> 01:30:00,360
"I hate your big dumb
combat boots
and the way you read my mind
1591
01:30:00,560 --> 01:30:04,280
"I hate you so much
it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme
1592
01:30:05,840 --> 01:30:09,120
(SIGHS) "I hate it...
I hate the way
you're always right
1593
01:30:09,600 --> 01:30:11,800
"I hate it when you lie
1594
01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:13,520
"I hate it when
you make me laugh
1595
01:30:13,680 --> 01:30:15,360
"even worse
when you make me cry
1596
01:30:17,440 --> 01:30:19,200
"I hate it when
you're not around
1597
01:30:19,280 --> 01:30:21,080
"and the fact
that you didn't call
1598
01:30:21,640 --> 01:30:25,280
"But mostly, I hate
the way I don't hate you,
not even close
1599
01:30:25,400 --> 01:30:28,040
"not even a little bit,
not even at all"
1600
01:30:40,520 --> 01:30:41,600
(DOOR OPENS)
1601
01:30:42,560 --> 01:30:43,840
(DOOR CLOSES)
1602
01:31:10,800 --> 01:31:12,480
Nice, huh?
1603
01:31:13,080 --> 01:31:14,760
A Fender Strat?
1604
01:31:14,840 --> 01:31:16,320
Is it for me?
1605
01:31:16,360 --> 01:31:17,840
Yeah, I thought
you could use it,
1606
01:31:17,880 --> 01:31:19,720
you know,
when you start
your band.
1607
01:31:20,200 --> 01:31:22,880
Besides,
I had some extra cash,
you know.
1608
01:31:22,960 --> 01:31:26,480
Some asshole paid me
to take out
this really great girl.
1609
01:31:27,760 --> 01:31:29,480
Is that right?
1610
01:31:30,040 --> 01:31:33,480
Yeah, but I screwed up.
I, um... I fell for her.
1611
01:31:36,080 --> 01:31:37,320
Really?
1612
01:31:38,960 --> 01:31:40,200
It's not everyday
you find a girl
1613
01:31:40,240 --> 01:31:43,440
who'll flash someone
to get you out of detention.
1614
01:31:44,360 --> 01:31:45,640
Oh, God.
1615
01:31:53,880 --> 01:31:57,640
You can't just buy me
a guitar every time
you screw up, you know.
1616
01:31:58,000 --> 01:31:59,480
Yeah, I know.
1617
01:32:00,400 --> 01:32:02,400
But there's always
drums and bass
1618
01:32:02,480 --> 01:32:04,280
and maybe even one day
a tambourine.
1619
01:32:12,160 --> 01:32:13,240
And don't just
think you can...
1620
01:32:13,320 --> 01:32:16,760
♪ I want you to want me
1621
01:32:17,760 --> 01:32:22,200
♪ I need you to need me
1622
01:32:22,280 --> 01:32:26,280
♪ I'd love you to love me
1623
01:32:26,480 --> 01:32:31,280
♪ I'm beggin' you to beg me
1624
01:32:31,440 --> 01:32:33,600
♪ Shine up my old brown shoes
1625
01:32:33,680 --> 01:32:35,800
♪ I put on a brand-new shirt
1626
01:32:35,920 --> 01:32:37,800
♪ I'll get homeearly from work
1627
01:32:38,080 --> 01:32:41,440
♪ If you say that you love me
1628
01:32:41,760 --> 01:32:45,240
♪ Didn't I, didn't Ididn't I see you cryin'?
1629
01:32:45,760 --> 01:32:49,440
♪ Oh, didn't I, didn't Ididn't I see you cryin'?
1630
01:32:50,880 --> 01:32:52,440
♪ Feelin' allalone without a friend
1631
01:32:52,480 --> 01:32:54,440
♪ You know youfeel like dyin'
1632
01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:58,800
♪ Oh, didn't I, didn't Ididn't I see you cryin'?
1633
01:32:59,880 --> 01:33:03,960
♪ I want you to want me
1634
01:33:04,440 --> 01:33:08,720
♪ I need you to need me
1635
01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:12,960
♪ I'd love you to love me
1636
01:33:13,160 --> 01:33:17,880
♪ I'm beggin' you to beg me
1637
01:33:18,160 --> 01:33:20,440
♪ Shine up my old brown shoes
1638
01:33:20,600 --> 01:33:22,720
♪ I put on a brand-new shirt
1639
01:33:22,800 --> 01:33:24,640
♪ I'll get homeearly from work
1640
01:33:24,720 --> 01:33:29,160
♪ If you say that you love me
1641
01:33:29,720 --> 01:33:33,480
♪ Didn't I, didn't Ididn't I see you cryin'?
1642
01:33:33,720 --> 01:33:37,760
♪ Oh, didn't I, didn't Ididn't I see you cryin'?
1643
01:33:38,840 --> 01:33:42,560
♪ Feelin' all alonewithout a friendyou know you feel like dyin'
1644
01:33:43,000 --> 01:33:47,840
♪ Oh, didn't I, didn't Ididn't I see you cryin'?
1645
01:33:47,880 --> 01:33:49,960
♪ Hey!
1646
01:33:57,400 --> 01:34:01,080
♪ Feelin' all alonewithout a friendyou know you feel like dyin'
1647
01:34:01,280 --> 01:34:05,840
♪ Oh, didn't I, didn't Ididn't I see you cryin'
1648
01:34:15,680 --> 01:34:19,920
♪ I want you to want me
1649
01:34:20,200 --> 01:34:24,480
♪ I need you to need me
1650
01:34:24,800 --> 01:34:28,720
♪ I'd love you to love me
1651
01:34:28,960 --> 01:34:33,880
♪ I'm beggin' you to beg me
1652
01:34:33,920 --> 01:34:38,080
♪ I want you to want me
1653
01:34:38,640 --> 01:34:42,360
♪ I want you to want me ♪
1654
01:34:44,560 --> 01:34:49,040
No offense.
I know everyone "digs"
your sister and all, but, um,
1655
01:34:49,240 --> 01:34:50,760
she's without.
1656
01:34:52,720 --> 01:34:56,680
You know,
you're not as vile
as I thought you were.
1657
01:35:03,200 --> 01:35:05,680
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1658
01:35:05,920 --> 01:35:08,680
You suck.
1659
01:35:08,840 --> 01:35:12,360
Okay. Let's go!
1660
01:35:14,320 --> 01:35:16,320
You're just messin'
with me, aren't you?
1661
01:35:16,440 --> 01:35:18,520
No, I'm really looking
forward to doing it.
1662
01:35:18,600 --> 01:35:19,880
Go see Miss Perky.
1663
01:35:19,920 --> 01:35:22,600
What?
Go. Perky's. Go, now.
1664
01:35:22,680 --> 01:35:25,600
DIRECTOR: Once again.
"Perky, now"
is the second one.
1665
01:35:25,680 --> 01:35:28,520
Perky's now.
Perky's, now.
Right away.
1666
01:35:28,600 --> 01:35:30,360
Now, Perky's.
Hey, hey.
1667
01:35:30,440 --> 01:35:33,240
Now, Perky's. Perky's now.
At the beginning of the shot.
1668
01:35:33,280 --> 01:35:34,680
Perk... Oh.
1669
01:35:38,240 --> 01:35:41,480
Bianca, let's go.
We're all congregating
around Mr. Cuervo.
1670
01:35:41,680 --> 01:35:44,440
Um, I'll see you
around, okay?
1671
01:35:55,440 --> 01:35:58,160
Don't worry.
There's better for you,
1672
01:35:58,400 --> 01:36:00,120
and it's right here.
1673
01:36:00,680 --> 01:36:03,040
Come here.
No, I wanted you
for so long.
1674
01:36:03,120 --> 01:36:04,560
(CREW LAUGHING)
1675
01:36:05,600 --> 01:36:08,880
You messed
with the wrong guy,
and now you're gonna pay.
1676
01:36:08,960 --> 01:36:11,280
You and that
little bitch.
1677
01:36:12,440 --> 01:36:16,040
All right,
that's enough, okay!
You crossed the line.
1678
01:36:21,120 --> 01:36:22,360
What, are you kidding me?
1679
01:36:22,440 --> 01:36:24,320
(BLEEPING)
1680
01:36:28,320 --> 01:36:30,480
I'm driving,
so I pick the tunes.
1681
01:36:30,560 --> 01:36:31,720
And it's my car.
1682
01:36:31,800 --> 01:36:34,480
(SCREAMING)
1683
01:36:34,840 --> 01:36:37,680
I want some coffee!
1684
01:36:50,400 --> 01:36:53,280
Could I get
a prophylactic?
1685
01:36:53,400 --> 01:36:56,520
A prophylactic. Ah!
1686
01:36:57,480 --> 01:37:00,480
Let go!
How could you set
me up like that?
1687
01:37:00,520 --> 01:37:02,360
Oh, God, I just wanted...
1688
01:37:02,440 --> 01:37:04,520
To completely damage me,
send me to therapy forever?
1689
01:37:04,560 --> 01:37:06,800
Ow! No, I just wanted...
Ladies.
1690
01:37:06,880 --> 01:37:08,440
(WHIMPERING)
1691
01:37:09,880 --> 01:37:11,720
Shall we go to my office?
Tout de suite!
1692
01:37:11,800 --> 01:37:13,280
Tout de suite!
1693
01:37:14,480 --> 01:37:16,560
Oh, my God!
125228
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