All language subtitles for NYPD Blue (1993) - S11E09 - Only Schmucks Pay Income Tax (1080p HULU WEB-DL x265 LION)_track3_[eng]

Previously on "Nypd blue"...

Michael, you're supposed to
Be in school.

I'm just cuttin' this one day.

My car's outside.
I'll meet you there in a sec.

Your dad's coming, too.
We're gonna have a conversation.

I took a day off.
What's the big deal?

What you did today was
Wrong, michael.

You don't want me around
My dad.

I don't want you to
Start slippin'.

Michael knows what's up.
He know what you're about.

You're damn right he does.
I'm on his side.

Nah, he knows the only reason
You been kissin' his ass

Is to try to get him to lie and
Say I killed his mother.

That sounds like what you've
Been puttin' into his head.

[ bassoon playing ]

[ playing stops ]

It's 5:30.

Sorry, I totally lost
Track of the time.

So the concert is over with,
In other words?

The recital's
Actually tonight,

Which is why I'm in this
Frantic practice mode.

You just move in here?

Yeah, I'm subletting.

Well, just to let you know,
I need my sleep.

You gonna practice
Your clarinet,

You do it during the day.

I understand.
I'm putting it away.

It's a bassoon.

Excuse me?

The instrument I play
Is the bassoon.

Thanks for clearing that up.

What's going on?

Idiot next door.

It's okay, though.
Go back to sleep.

A bassoon player.

Couldn't have been someone who
Works for an airline moves in,

Could maybe do us some good.

Nothing wrong with having
A little culture

In the building.

Yeah? Then give me
A poet or a mime.

[ chuckles ]

[ telephone rings ]

Yeah?

All right. I'll be there
In a half‐hour.

Yeah.

Two guys busted in.

Roughed up the wife,
Roughed up the husband,

Made off
With a bunch of stuff.

Where's the husband?

Took him to st. Vincent's
With chest pains.

He's retired, off the job.
Name's roy shaunnessey.

From the 2‐0.
I know him.

Mrs. Shaunnessey?

I'm detective sipowicz.
This is detective clark.

I worked with your husband
At the 2‐0.

I'd like to go to the hospital
And be with him.

We'll have someone run
You over there.

We just need you to tell
Us what happened.

We were in bed, asleep.
I heard oliver barking.

Roy went into the living room
To see what it was,

And the next thing I know,
I hear yelling.

I come in here, and I see a guy
With a knife to roy's throat,

And the other guy tying him
To the chair.

What do you
Remember about them?

They wore masks.

Uh, probably in their 20's,

White or spanish‐‐
I'm not sure which.

One of them, I think, had, like,
An army jacket on.

What'd they do
When they saw you?

The one with the knife grabbed
Me by the hair.

I said
"Take anything you want."

He, uh, pushed me back into the
Bedroom, dumped out the dresser.

He said he wanted the guns.

I told him we had no guns, and,
Uh, that's when I got this.

I gave him
About $1,000 in cash,

A necklace that was my mother's,
My wedding ring,

A signed letter that
General patton had written

That I bought roy off the
Internet, and two of his guns.

All replaceable, I guess.

Yeah.

You both handled this as well
As you could have.

It'd be good if you mentioned
That to roy when you see him.

We'll have somebody take you
To the hospital now.

Thanks.

What kind of guy was he
On the job?

Stand‐up, tough.

It's definitely gonna be more
About the pride than the money.

These old‐timers‐‐ now I know
Why they move to florida.

Old‐timers?

I was in the academy
With this guy.

All‐timers.

I said "All‐timers," as in
"All‐time great cops."

[ knock on door ]

May I help you?

I'm your new neighbor.
I'm subletting from josie fay.

Oh, right.

Hi, nice to meet you.

I'm kind of in a
Hurry right now.

I just wanted
To say I was sorry

For practicing so late last
Night and waking you guys up.

And I see that you're
A police officer.

I sure am.
And you didn't wake me up.

I guess that was your...

Husband.

Well, uh, to make up for it,

I wanted to leave two tickets
To tonight's recital.

Oh, you
Don't have to do that.

I don't know if you like
Classical music,

But we're performing one of
Vivaldi's lesser‐known works,

And it's a really terrific
Chamber ensemble.

Well, thank you.

It's a concerto in "F" major,
571, in case you're wondering.

Oh, I'm not familiar.

That's why it's lesser‐known.

Anyway, lawrence tempra hall,
8:00.

It says on the ticket.

Oh, right.
Well, I hope you can make it.

You and your
Husband, of course.

Okay, thanks.

I heard the alarm go off,

And by the time I realized that
It was my car,

It was already in flames.

The fire marshal says it was
Definitely arson.

Any idea who'd
Want to torch it?

None.

No enemies?
No!

People don't usually set fire to
Cars on a random basis.

You're the experts.

We'd like you to come into the
15th precinct, mr. Titel.

We need to ask you some
Questions.

It's best not to do it out
Here in public.

Let me take care of some quick
Business first,

And I'll be right behind you.

What kind of business?

What?

Here.

On the house.

"Only schmucks pay
Income tax."

Huh.

I didn't want to go to this
Place, but I think I have to.

I have to consider

That my ex‐wife might have had
Something to do with this.

Has she ever done anything
Violent in the past?

Overtly violent, no.

But there's a lot of
Bitterness, resentment.

As I've become more successful,
It's gotten worse.

Any threats?

No overt threats.

Anything else
You can think of?

I've been racking my brain.

Carolyn's the only one who makes
Any sense at all.

So, your book?

Are you skeptical?

Well, I just don't get why
Millions of people pay taxes

When they don't have to.

They are misinformed.

The government, through
The tax code,

Deceives us into thinking income
Taxes are mandatory.

In fact, they're strictly
Voluntary.

You don't have to pay if you
Don't want to.

That is exactly right.

What happens then?

You get to chapter nine?
No.

I take you through the
Consequences

And how to deal with them,

Including the "Voluntary nature
Of the audit,"

The whole thing.

I just keep coming back

To why this hasn't seen the
Light of day.

The most important function
Of government

Is the propagation of myth.

Income taxes are strictly
Voluntary, and that's the law.

You should tell us where we
Could find your ex‐wife.

Yeah. She works at bed & bath
Works, second avenue.

I can't tell you how much I hope
She is not responsible.

Well, we'll let you know.

Thanks.

Ken gross to see
Detective jones.

I'm michael woodriff's
Foster parent.

Hey, ken, how you doin'?

I need to talk to you.

Yeah, sure.

So, a pretty interesting
Concept, huh?

Very interesting
And very absurd.

Well, that's your opinion.

I know you've been pretty
Involved

With michael's situation.

What's goin' on?

I'm sending michael back to
Social services.

Why?

He's a good kid.

I'm just not equipped.

For what?
What did he do?

Michael's father showed up
A bunch of times‐‐

In the morning, before michael
Left for school,

Around supper time.

We have two other kids.
We can't do it.

Has michael's father
Threatened you?

This just isn't a good
Situation for us.

If he's made any threats, we can
Do something about it.

No threats.

But he's intimidated you.

We're not comfortable.

My wife doesn't feel safe.

I'll talk to michael's father.

Believe me, I'll work it out.

We're done.

I'm sorry.

My wife and I are both pretty
Torn up having to do this.

She couldn't even bring herself
To come down here.

Okay.

I told her you'd find
Someplace else for him,

Maybe someplace his father
Doesn't know about.

Yeah.

No pattern
To the home invasion.

What about his gun?

.25‐caliber beretta and
A colt .357.

Make sure the alarms
Transmitted on the guns.

Let it be known on the street
There's buy money

For whatever else they might be
Trying to get rid of.

We'll confirm what was stolen
With shaunnessey

As soon as we talk to him.

You haven't done that yet?

They had him under observation,
But I think he's all right.

It might be something
You want to know.

Okay, well, how about the last
We heard he was all right?

He should be on
His way in, lieu.

Yeah, good.

He's a little raggy, huh?

Andy, any interest in going to
A concert tonight?

Is that a trick question?

The guy next door gave me
Two tickets.

The fruit that woke me up?

How come he gave them to you?

I was the only one home.

It's chamber music.
It's classical.

Did you hear him playin'
This morning?

It sounded like somebody
Beatin' a moose.

So going to this wouldn't be
Anything you'd like to try?

It's gonna be hell
Gettin' a sitter.

I mean, if you're dyin' to
Go to this thing‐‐

No, it's all right.
It's no big deal.

Andy.

Hey, roy.
How you feeling?

Fine, fine.
You caught my case?

Yeah, we're on it.

Any help I can be,
Obviously.

This is my partner, john clark.
Roy shaunnessey.

Hi, roy.
Nice to meet you.

Have a seat.

You get the serial number
Of the guns?

Yeah.

Well, the wedding ring's
A gold band

With our initials engraved on
The inside.

The necklace has got some kind
Of green jewels on it

With little, tiny diamonds.

What about that, uh, letter
Signed by patton?

Yeah, he wrote it to the widow
Of a tank commander

Killed in north africa.

It's worth about $1,500 if you
Know what it is.

Since they took it, they're
Probably gonna fence it.

Not many places will fence that
Kind of thing,

So it's a good place
To start.

Good.

Could have been worse, roy.

Oh, absolutely.

My wife could have been
Violated.

She could have been hurt a lot
Worse than she was.

We're checking on cases with
Similar m. O.'s in the area.

We'll also have some photos of
Known burglars.

Maybe one of 'em may ring
A bell.

Good, yeah.
I appreciate the effort, guys.

Roy, I know you probably want to
Handle this yourself.

No, no, no.
Those days are gone.

Zech and me, we're talkin' about
Movin' to florida.

When are you gettin' out, andy?

Not any time soon.

It's all changed so much,
Though.

Look who they let on the job.

No offense, but in our days,

Most guys had military
Backgrounds, families.

We looked at the job as
A step up

As opposed to just a paycheck
And benefits.

I admire you for hangin' in
There.

Come on, roy.

I'll get you set up with
Those mug books.

That little prick barry
Sent you to me?

Well, he didn't make any
Accusations.

We just have to talk to you,
That's all.

He said he couldn't
Imagine you

Doing anything along
These lines,

But since the acrimony
Of the divorce...

Was there someone he could
Imagine?

Uh, no one else that
Came to mind.

Tell him to think a little
Harder, the big brain.

Well, is there someone
You're aware of?

I'm not pointing any fingers.

I'm just gonna tell you

That there's people he's
Burned...And plenty of 'em.

How'd he burn them?

Look, all I know is he got
Cursed out in restaurants,

And we had to change our
Phone number

Because of late‐night
Hang‐up calls.

This is in response
To...His tax book?

Not so much the book.

It's more the body slam these
Poor idiots got from the I. R. S.

After they filed their "Screw
You, uncle sam" return.

So his system doesn't work?

Something wasn't working
For some of these people

'cause they were very
Pissed off.

Because your ex‐husband's
System was flawed

Or they didn't follow
Instructions?

Because he's very specific.

Uh, where were you around 7:00
This morning, carolyn?

Doing quarterly inventory.

We need to confirm that with
Your manager.

Fine, be my guest.

I set fire to barry's car,
He's gonna be in it.

Gents.

We're lookin' for some old
Stuff, maybe world war ii era.

Don't have that, but if I know
People‐‐ and I do‐‐

This guy right here is
A springsteen fan.

How'd you guess?

I got a jacket from the '84
Tour‐‐ $1,500.

Yeah, that's a little steep.

You got to like van halen.

One of michael anthony's basses
Signed by the band‐‐

I can let you have it
For $1,000.

So you only deal with
Rock 'n' roll memorabilia?

You‐‐ don't say it
'cause I know.

Major frankie valli fan,
Right?

[ chuckles ]

We're lookin' for something
Non‐music‐related.

Cole porter, benny goodman?
Talk to me.

How about a letter from
George patton

To the widow of a tank
Commander?

Can't help you.

You got a bill of sale for that
Springsteen jacket?

What kind of question is that?

The kind that comes with a set
Of handcuffs attached.

Where is this comin' from?

People tell us you're the man to
See for stolen memorabilia.

That's way in the past.

Hey, this is a police
Investigation.

That means if any of this crap
In here is stolen,

We padlock the store, and you're
Under arrest.

I run
A legitimate business now.

You want to keep runnin' it,
You better beat the bushes,

Come up with some info on that
Letter by the end of the day.

Got it.

And cole porter was 20 years
Before my time, pal.

[ scoffs ]

Cole porter.

I'm shooting for a million
In sales this year.

I carry a number of titles.

"The myth of compulsory
Education,"

"How to beat a drunk‐driving
Charge without paying a lawyer,"

"Play the piano without
Reading music."

Your ex‐wife seems to think
You have some enemies.

It is so
Like her to say that.

It's not true?

Enemies? No.

Have people come in here with
Unreasonable expectations

And been disappointed?

I won't say that's never
Happened,

But no one I call an enemy.

When you say "Disappointed,"

You mean like someone didn't
Beat drunk‐driving charges,

Or they didn't learn how to play
The piano without reading music?

Or got popped for not paying
Their taxes?

No one who has followed
My advice

Has wound up owing the
Government a dime.

I still can't understand how
That can be.

You understand how the fifth
Amendment protects us

Against self‐incrimination?

Right.

Well, tax returns, therefore,
Have to be voluntary by nature.

The law says you have to file
A tax return.

The law says you "Must" file
A tax return.

What's the difference?

Because, in the law, "Must"
Actually means "May."

You're allowed to pay taxes.

You're not required to pay
Taxes.

I can't believe it.

All these years
I've been payin' taxes.

Everyone I know has been
Payin' taxes.

How about if we do this?

I prepare your return
Personally.

I use the language that provides
Ironclad protection

Against the I.R.S.
Prosecuting.

You pay zero dollars
In taxes,

And absolutely nothing will
Happen to you.

How much?

Gratis.

Wanna show your appreciation?
Tell your friends.

It doesn't look your ex‐wife had
Anything to do

With settin' your car on fire.

I'm glad to hear it.

I put in for the insurance
Claim.

I'd just as soon it was an act
Of random urban violence.

We'll need names of anybody you
Had a beef with.

I honestly can't think
Of a soul.

Keep thinkin'.
I got to make a stop, okay?

Here, detective.

"Buy an apartment building at
A government auction."

The guy's name is j. J.

Where do we find him?

That I can't tell you.

So, just j. J.?

Right.

We ought to be able to pin him
Down real good with that.

What do you want from me?

I put out the word to my
Colleagues

That I needed this patton
Letter if it turns up.

Half‐hour later, an anonymous
Middleman comes in,

Says his contact bought it off
A guy named j. J.

For a hundred bucks.

That's all he knew.

I paid the hundred, and I come
Right down here.

And you figured
That would be the end of it?

Actually, I was thinkin' I might
Hear somethin'

Along the lines of "Thank you,
Mr. Epilito.

Let's get you reimbursed."

A guy comes in off the street
You never seen before?

That's why I wanted to deal with
Someone in authority.

We need you to identify which
Colleague you got it from.

I don't know.

But you might start runnin' with
This j. J., all right?

More than that, I don't know.

We have him for receiving
Stolen property?

Lock him up and turn him over to
The d. A. As noncooperative.

I brought in the letter.
How am I noncooperative?

If I knew you were gonna break
Out the dump screws,

I never would have come in.

Run the nickname j. J.

See if you get any prints
Off the letter.

What?

Dropping off the case folders
You asked me for.

On the desk.

Rita...
Close the door.

I'm off the list for
Captain's money.

You're kidding.

A little payback
For the trial.

Internal affairs?

This comes from higher up‐‐

Police commissioner's
Office, probably.

I'm really sorry.

Eddie gibson‐‐ he got
Promoted to sergeant.

Well, now you know it's
Just a joke.

My career you mean?
I've hit the wall.

This is as far as I'll go
On the job.

Give 'em a year.

I've already given 'em 18.

But, hey, that's my problem.

Thanks for listening.

All right, folks,

Three guesses what this
Brother does for a livin'.

Let's take a walk, craig.

Nope.

I ain't askin'.
In the back. Come on.

I ain't that
Kind of guy, chief.

You got michael kicked out
Of his foster home.

Sorry to hear that, but he
Didn't like 'em much anyway.

He liked 'em fine.

He tells you one thing
And everybody else another.

Thought you were supposed to
Have a trained mind.

Why you messin' up
Michael's life?

I could
Ask you the same thing.

Helpin' him out, gettin' him
A place to live?

Tryin' to turn him into a white
Boy like yourself.

Go ahead...White boy.

That's what you want.

That's how you think you'll
Get rid of me.

Assault charge.

Sue the department.
Sue me.

I'm just
Here havin' a cocktail.

Enjoy it.

I'll see you around.

It's definitely carolyn.

This the, uh,
Poisonous variety?

A blue krait?
Oh, yeah.

How tough
Are they to come by?

Not tough, if you're workin' as
A choke setter in sri lanka.

When was the last time
Carolyn contacted you?

I saw her a couple weeks ago in
The store where she works.

I needed bath towels.

I don't see why I should be
Foreclosed from a bargain

Just 'cause she works
At that store.

We're good here.

All right, thanks.

Just keep it away.

She knows I'm deathly
Afraid of snakes.

Yeah. We'll, uh, try and lift
Some prints off the box,

Though I doubt if we can get
Anything useful.

By the way, I'm preparing my
Standard return for you.

All I need is the correct
Spelling of your last name,
Your earning statement,

And zip‐a‐dee‐doo‐dah.

Uh, I'd love
To believe that‐‐

Now, listen to me.

You submit the return exactly
As I've prepared it,

The government will
Not come after you.

They will not take on
A challenge to their authority.

You owe them nothing.

Come on, let's go, greg.

Yeah.

Nothing.

M‐e‐d‐a‐v‐o‐y.

Goin' back at the ex‐wife's
A waste of time.

I don't understand why
You're so dug in, baldwin.

Her alibi held
The first time,

There's no history
Of harassment,

And the only reason you want
To believe this huckster

Is you think he's gonna save you
Money on your taxes.

You get your mind made up,
That's it.

Yeah, the guy's running a scam
With the taxes‐‐ case closed.

New information
Doesn't matter.

An embittered
Ex‐spouse doesn't matter.

That the guy makes
A reasoned argument

That maybe taxes are
Voluntary‐‐

That doesn't matter.

This fax came for you.

Thanks, john.

What's that?

It's parking citations where
His car got burned.

You'll rummage through
Parking tickets

Before you'll take a man
At his word.

Yep.

So, sherlock?

Oh, a van
With commercial plates

Got a ticket for
Being double‐parked.

Oh, great. That's more promising
Than an ex‐wife

Who knows that he's squeamish
About reptiles.

A van with commercial plates
Registered to a pet store.

Hey, andy, latent prints
Got a hit

From that frame
The patton letter was in.

Comes back to that j. J.

Do you know that guy?

No.

Why don't you head on home, roy?
We'll keep you updated.

I must have said that to 2,000
People when I was on the job.

Never understood how frustrating
It was to hear until now.

You know this is our top
Priority.

Yeah, keep me updated.

What got him off the job?

Disability.
I think he had 22 years.

Legit claim?

Yeah, he fell through the floor
Of an abandoned building

Chasing a junkie.

Even with the time
That he had in,

He was one of those guys who
Wasn't ready for retirement.

Well, it sure caught my dad
Flat‐footed

When he put in his papers.

So, uh, we got a place to
Look for this j. J.?

Yeah.

Let's run it for the boss.

Good.

Thanks.

So, uh, they gonna try

And find another
Foster family for michael?

Well, michael's aunt
Is taking him in.

Where's she been
Up till now?

Scared to death
Of michael's dad.

Having her sister get killed,
I guess you can't blame her.

Yeah.

Can I help you?

Yeah, uh,
Detectives medavoy and jones.

Would you happen to know

Who was driving your
Store van this morning?

What happened?
Was there an accident?

Well, it's possible

That it was nearby to
Where an accident occurred.

We'd just like to talk
To the driver.

Find out if he saw anything.

Well, I was driving.
Didn't see an accident.

Okay, then.

You the resident snake
Expert?

What do you need?

Lookin' for something in
The way of a blue krait.

No can do.

Why not?

Poisonous.

You don't sell
Poisonous snakes?

Right.
I have a reticulated python.

I have an emerald tree boa.
I have a few corn snakes.

I kind of had my heart
Set on a krait.

I was told they make good
Companions.

They don't‐‐
They're poisonous.

They can't be brought
Into the country.

They can't be sold.
Sorry.

We need you to take
A ride with us, ralph.

I'm kind of workin'.

Well, we need to talk to you

About a blue krait that somebody
Found this morning.

So you're not really
Here about an accident?

Right.

I hate being lied to.

I wish people would just say
What's on their mind‐‐

Say what they want‐‐
Just say it!

Let's go.

Mark, I'll be
Back in a while.

Yeah?

Detectives‐‐ lookin'
For j. J.‐‐ james flaherty.

They just took him.

Some old guy busts
The door open,

Puts a gun at j. J.'s head,
And hauled him out of here.

What did he look like‐‐
This guy who busted in.

Older‐‐
He looked like a cop.

Did he say he was a cop?
Did he say his name?

No. He was pissed, though.

And he just took
J. J. Right out of here.

Who's j. J. Been
Pullin' jobs with?

What jobs?
He's never told me.

This "Older" cop is somebody
That j. J. Ripped off.

Now, the fact that he dragged
J. J. Out of here

Instead of just killin' him,

Tell us he wants whoever your
Boyfriend is pullin' jobs with.

Now, who is it?

I don't know names.
J. J. Keeps me out of that.

Have you heard from roy?

No, I thought
He was with you.

Do you recognize this guy?

[ voice breaking ]
Yeah... It's j. J.

How do you know him?

He does odd jobs for us.
What's going on?

Roy grabbed j. J. Up
About a half‐hour ago.

Oh, my god.

We think he's going to pick up
Who j. J. Robbed you with.

Do you know
Who that would be?

No. Let me try
Roy's cell phone.

We've been tryin'. It's not on.
How well do you know j. J.?

Not very.

Roy hired him to, um,
Re‐tile the bathroom.

J.J. Listened
To roy's stories,

So roy kept hiring him

To do things
He could have done himself.

There's a running buddy j.J.
Took a collar with‐‐

Nicholas richmon.
Does that name ring a bell?

No. I'm sorry.

All right,
Stick by the phone.

If roy calls you, you get ahold
Of us immediately.

You're not gonna hurt him,
Right?

No.
Just stick by the phone.

[ siren wails ]

Hey!

You j. J.?

Yeah.

I was abducted by this crazy
Son of a bitch, roy shaunnessey.

The guy you
Robbed this morning?

I was just chillin'‐‐

Where is shaunnessey now?

He went to go get my buddy,
Nicky.

Where's nicky live?

3b, but I've been hearing
Yellin' coming from the roof.

Hey! Hey, tell nicky
He had a gun to my head!

[ grunting ]

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!
Touch that gun, you're dead!

This guy chased me up here,
Waving his gun.

He's crazy! I didn't know
What he was gonna do.

Whatever you say, nicky.

It's his gun, man.
I took it away from him.

Get up.

Probably not the best way
You could have handled it, roy.

I got the drain over there‐‐
I didn't see it.

I lost my balance‐‐
That's how he got my gun.

Drains come up on you.

I had the drop on
The son of a bitch.

That hadn't happened,

I'd have walked them right
Into the house‐‐ both of them.

All by yourself.

Not like I haven't
Done it before‐‐

Bringin' 'em in two at
A time, huh?

All right, we're gonna need to
Go in and sort this out.

They hit my wife...

Right in the face.

I couldn't do anything.

It's all right, roy.

I had to beg them not
To hit her again.

I had to beg them.

It's okay. Come on.

You gonna cuff me?

No.

[ sighs ]

What were you doing this
Morning, ralph?

Picking up stuff
At a wholesaler's.

Where are they located?

Various places‐‐

One's in jackson heights

And one's over by
The kosciusko bridge.

Why did you get a ticket over on
St. Mark's place

If you were goin' by
The kosciusko bridge?

You ever work in
Personal aspects

In the course of business?

What kind
Of personal aspects?

A chick, all right?

Where's she live?

By there.

Name and address, ralph.

Come on, man.

I give that up, I ain't
Gonna be goin' back there.

Name barry titel
Mean anything to you?

No.

Here's what's
Gonna happen, ralph‐‐

We're gonna lift the prints

Off the box in
Barry titel's office‐‐

The one the blue krait
Came in‐‐

We're gonna trace
The import records

And find out if this type of
Snake can be traced back to you.

And the longer you lie to us,

The harder it's gonna be
For us to help.

The fact that nobody got hurt's
Gonna work in your favor.

What happened, ralph?

My old man had a pet store.

He lost it when he got nailed
For tax evasion.

Where is he now?

Danbury federal prison.

Did he read titel's book?

My mother said,
"Don't do it."

I said, "Don't do it."
Everybody said, "Don't do it."

He's a stubborn bastard,
Though,

And busted his ass for every
Buck he ever earned.

This "No taxes" thing was too
Good for him to pass up.

All right, so you set titel's
Car on fire.

I asked that prick for help.

He said my dad must have
Made a mistake

When he filed his returns.

And the snake
In the mailbox...

I could have put a black mamba
In there, you know?

I could have put in a taipan
Or a carpet viper.

I put in a krait so he'd have
A good chance of surviving.

Well, we'll see that that's
Taken into account.

And nothin' happens to
This asshole, titel‐‐

Even though he
Ruined my dad's life?!

We're gonna need to keep you
Downstairs

Until we sort this out.

Let's go.

Titel's the guy who should be
Doing time in danbury.

[ clears throat ]
All right.

All right, j. J.,
Here's where we're at‐‐

You work for mr. Shaunnessey,
So you case the place.

You bring nicky in for lookout,
Then you break in,

You threaten the shaunnesseys
With your knife,

And clean the place out.

The only true part of that is
My working for shaunnessey.

And all I know is shaunnessey
Busted into my apartment,

Puts a gun to my head,
And takes me over to nicky's.

So I don't care
What that guy's sayin'.

No, it's not what
Mr. Shaunnessey's sayin'‐‐

It's what nicky's sayin'.

No way.

J.J., don't be that guy‐‐
The one who thinks

His blood brother is in the
Other room, standing up for him.

Come on.

Go to hell.

Nicky's writing his statement.
I was just in there.

Well, good for him.

And very bad for you.
It took about two minutes.

The promise of a pack of
Cigarettes and a cold drink,

And he laid it at your feet.

You knew the apartment.

You knew
The people who lived there,

You knew
Where the valuables were.

Nicky was just
Watchin' the door.

We should be talkin'

About how shaunnessey busted
Into my apartment

And put a 9 mm
To my head.

Cop to the home invasion, that
Will be your bargaining chip.

You stonewall us,

And shaunnessey coming into your
Apartment never happened.

All right, I'll talk...

When I see what nicky's writin',
When it's in front of me.

It's just gonna make
You feel bad,

'cause if he gets it
On record first, it's gospel.

You'll be suckin' hind tit.

Show me his statement,
And then we'll talk.

Yeah, we'll be talkin'

About how you're goin'
To prison for 20 years.

[ door closes ]

J.J. Was the lookout.

He tipped you to
The shaunnessey's.

You pulled the job.

No‐‐ other way around.

Yeah,
J.J.'s writing it up‐‐

Nicky's idea‐‐
Nicky was the muscle.

You see that,
You stupid idiot?

I told you that guy would fold,
And now where are you?

I don't know. I don't know.
I got to think.

You've been thinkin'.

You've been overthinkin',
And look where it's got you.

I want to see
What j. J. Wrote up.

We'll use j. J.'s statement.

Hold up, hold up!

No, we're done holdin' up.
Do you want the deal or not?

I'll tell you my part in what
Happened this morning.

J.J. Can say what he wants.
Do I still have time?

Get on it.

J.J. Came to me with the plan
Since he knew shaunnessey.

He got a little too high
Beforehand.

Who had the knife?

I did, but I didn't use it.

Who punched
Mrs. Shaunnessey?

J.J. Did.

J.J. With no violent priors‐‐
He did the smackin' around?

We both did.

Simultaneously?

She kept screaming.
I could have done worse, right?

Why don't you start

With when j. J. Came
To you with the plan?

[ breathing heavily ]

So...News?

Yeah. Ralph bassett did it

On account of his dad going to
Prison for following your book.

Oh.

On that subject, first off,
Kudos on the police work.

I'm gonna sleep a lot easier
Tonight thanks to you guys.

As far as alvin bassett goes,
I do feel bad.

I mean, how could I not?

If the son reimburses me
For the damage to my car,

I won't press charges.

[ sarcastically ]
'cause you got such a big heart.

What's with that tone?
I'm the crime victim here.

The only reason
You're dropping charges

Is you don't want
It getting out

That someone who followed
Your advice wound up in jail.

I'm gonna do my best to make
Sure it does get out.

It's the federal government

That wants to keep
This hushed up, not me!

I'm calling my friend in
The u. S. Attorney's office,

And one of these days,

The federal government's gonna
Be knockin' on your door...

Scumbag.

I got to go pick up michael.

Yeah, I'll wrap this up.

So...

I guess...

Does that mean you
Don't want this‐‐

Properly prepared tax return
In your name

That ensures you won't
Pay a red cent?

File that right there.

Fine.

You keep working for
Uncle sam january to june.

Me? I'm gonna go piss away some
Of my tax savings

On two ukrainian hookers
And a t‐bone steak.

You do that.

You cut deals with them?

No, they're gonna
Do straight time.

[ sighs ]

I feel like one of them
Old police dogs

Out at rodman's neck‐‐

Run up to the fence and bark,
You know,

But most of the time, they just
Lay around and wait to get fed.

You're not that old, roy.

Yeah, tell me all
The old slogans, andy.

"Growing old's a bitch, but it
Beats the alternative."

There's a certain amount of
Truth to those.

"You need to get out
Of the house, honey.

You need to pick up a hobby,
Sweetheart"‐‐

How's that gonna sound
To you, andy?

Like good advice.

Everything okay?

Oh, yeah.

Well, uh,
Thanks for your help.

Hey, roy, take care.

You glad about going
To your aunt's?

Ain't nothin'
I can do about it.

You know, I talked
To her on the phone,

And she seems like
A nice person.

I don't even really know her.

Well, she seems nice.

So, my dad scared
Off mr. And mrs. Gross.

I don't know.

That‐‐ that may have
Factored in a little.

Once he knew where I was livin',
I told him not to come by,

But he wouldn't listen.

I don't know why he screwed
That up for me.

You know,
In thinking about it,

Your dad acting
The way he is,

It's like he thinks I'm trying
To take you away from him.

So what does that mean?
You backin' out, too?

No. No.

Nothing's changed as far as
You and me are concerned.

I'm just...

Just trying to figure out
Why your dad's doing this.

Yeah.

Michael...

Look at me.

I'm serious.

I'm not backing out.

[ knock on door ]

Michael's aunt is here.

All right.
Thanks, john.

[ door closes ]

Give me a minute,
All right?

[ door closes ]

Tammy, hi.
I'm detective jones.

Hi. Where's michael?

He'll be out in a second.

But I‐‐ I appreciate
You doing this.

I would have taken him in
Before, when my sister died,

But I got three kids
Of my own

And only two bedrooms.

Well, I'm sure you know
Michael's‐‐ he's a great kid.

Yeah, he's good.
He's good.

He's a little nervous, though.

Yeah, so am I,

'cause, uh, I can't have
Any problems with his dad‐‐

That's my only condition.

I'm gonna give you
My home and pager number.

If michael's father tries to
Contact you for any reason,

Call me.

That's fine, but make sure
He doesn't come to my place.

Craig's only allowed
Prearranged, supervised visits.

Other than that, he's in
Violation of his parole,

And he can be sent
Back to prison‐‐ he knows that.

But those visits don't take
Place in my apartment.

No. That will happen
At social services.

As long as craig knows

That if he ain't gonna make
No problems for me,

I ain't gonna make
No problems for him.

[ footsteps ]

Hey.

Hey, aunt tammy.

Look at you‐‐ all grown up.

[ chuckles ]

Ready?

Yeah.

Come on.

Hey, michael,

Tomorrow for breakfast‐‐
Same place, all right?

Okay.

[ classical music plays ]

[ music stops ]

What made you
Change your mind?

Uh, you were right.

It's nice to get out
Sometimes‐‐

Broaden your horizons.

[ music resumes ]