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All language subtitles for Comedy - Stand-Up - Louis CK (One Night Stand).trg

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,333 HBO uv�d� One Night Stand (Zn�most na jednu noc) 2 00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:12,100 s komikem Louisem C.K. 3 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:22,300 D�my a p�nov�, Louis C.K.! 4 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,700 Tak jo, d�ky. D�kuju moc. 5 00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,500 D�ky, lidi. Je to od v�s moc hezk�, d�ky. 6 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,600 Jak se m�te, dobr�? 7 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:41,800 Bezva. 8 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:47,600 Dob�e. To je dobr�, �e jste venku. Bejt venku je dobr�. Opravdu. 9 00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,200 J� u� ven nechod�m. M�m d�t�, tak�e nechod�m ven. 10 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:55,600 N�kte�� z v�s m�te taky d�ti, ale nemilujete je, a tak jste tady - taky v pohod�. 11 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,700 Te� u� v�t�inou chod�m ven se dvou dcerou. 12 00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:02,800 Tuhle jsem s n� byl v parku. V parku v New York City. 13 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,100 A tam jsou takov� cedule zakazuj�c� pit� alkoholu. 14 00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:06,900 Ale nep�e se na nich "z�kaz pit� alkoholu", 15 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:11,700 m�sto toho je tam p�e�krtnutej obr�zek skleni�ky s Martini. 16 00:01:11,700 --> 00:01:17,800 Jsou tohle opravdu lidi zp�sobuj�c� probl�my s alkoholem v parc�ch? 17 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,500 V�n� oslovuj� c�lovou skupinu skleni�kou Martini? 18 00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:25,600 Nem�lo by to bejt sp� n�co jako p�e�krtnut� l�hev v pap�rovym pytl�ku? 19 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:32,711 Vid� lidi v tomhle parku ve 4 r�no jak �vou "Hej, ty m�momrde!" 20 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,300 Tuhle jsem byl v kin�, ale v�echny filmy jsou o hovn�. 21 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,200 Fakt, �e jo - sam� sra�ky. 22 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:48,200 Je to jako kdyby m�li stroj, kterej prost� produkuje hovna. 23 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,900 Tuhle jsem si p�j�il film. 24 00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:53,700 P�j�il jsem si ten film s Je��em, kde se z n�j n�kolik hodin sna�ej vyml�tit du�i. 25 00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:56,400 Ty jo, ten dostal na prdel! Co se stalo? 26 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:00,900 To n�komu objel Camaro kl��em? Co ten chlap komu provedl? 27 00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:03,800 Hele, mn� se ten film s Je��em nel�bil. Byla to podle m� p��ovina. 28 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,000 A n�kter� lidi jsou pohor�en�, kdy� jim tohle �eknete. 29 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,500 Jako kdybyste ��kali n�co �patn�ho. ��k�m: "Podle m� ten film s Je��em st�l za hovno." 30 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:15,100 A oni hned "Hej, �lov��e!" Co jako? V�dy� v tom nehraje, tak koho to sere?! 31 00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:19,600 Jako kdyby Je��e tankoval film s Melem Gibsonem, v� jak... 32 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,500 M� vychov�vali jako katol�ka, tak�e v�m, �e to d�lal pro m� 33 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,600 a cen�m si toho, v�te co - d�ky. 34 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,500 M�l se ale prvn� zeptat. 35 00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:29,500 Bejval bych mu �ekl "Jsem v pohod�, nepot�ebuju nic, proto�e... 36 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:32,000 Prost� trochu dom��livej. Hele, je to takhle... 37 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,000 Byl jsem vychovanej jako katol�k, ale u� j�m nejsem, proto�e... 38 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,600 Hele, jestli maj� pravdu, tak jsem v p��i a jdu do pekla. Fakt, �e jo. 39 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:44,400 Proto�e jsem fakt �patnej �lov�k... D�l�m hrozn� v�ci. V jednom kuse. 40 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,500 ��e, je to fakt... Jdu do pekla, v�m to. 41 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,300 A j� nechci skon�it v pekle. Hlavn� kv�li tomu, 42 00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:51,600 �e nem�m r�d nov� m�sta. To je ten opravdovej d�vod. 43 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,300 Proto�e se boj�m, �e p�jdu do pekla 44 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:57,200 a nebudu v�d�t, kde se m�m zapsat, budu celej zmatenej. 45 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,900 V�te co, jako prvn� den ve �kole. 46 00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:04,900 Vrt� mi hlavou, jestli je v pekle n�jakej pl�n. Jak organizovan� tam je tvoje zatracen�? 47 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:07,000 Jako jestli t� nejd��v daj do jedn� m�stnosti 48 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:12,400 a tam v�s n�jak� p��era �uk� do prdele tis�c let v kuse. 49 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:17,400 Pak vyleze� ven, ��k�: "Hmm, tak tamse s t�m fakt neserou, to ti �eknu" 50 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,000 "Tuhle m�stnost nedoporu�uju." 51 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,000 "Byl to opruz." 52 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,000 Pak v�s vezmou, �oupnou do jin� m�stnosti, 53 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,300 kde na v�s serou a j� nev�m co je�t�... 54 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:29,300 Ale co kdy� peklo takhle nefunguje? 55 00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:36,633 Co kdy� budu jen st�t v chodb� pekla: "Co m�m d�lat? Kam m�m j�t?" 56 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:42,022 P�ijde n�jakej d�mon a j� za�vu: "��, d�mon!" 57 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:46,000 A d�mon �ekne: "Poj� sem, vyku� mi pt�ka!" 58 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:50,700 A te� kou��m d�mona v pekle a je to stra�n�. 59 00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:54,811 ��k�m si, �e jsem nem�l tolik lh�t... 60 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:05,800 Ale moje ot�zka zn�: "Co kdy�, potom co vykou��m d�mona v chodb�..." 61 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,100 A v�bec, jak vlastn� pozn�te, �e jste dokou�ili d�mona v chodb�? 62 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:12,100 Asi kdy� na v�s vyst��k� ohniv� mravence nebo tak n�co. 63 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:15,767 A� dokou��m toho d�mona v chodb�, 64 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,600 co kdy� pak p�ijde n�jakej vedouc� pekla a �ekne mi: 65 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:23,933 "Hele, chlape, v�, �e jsi ho nemusel vykou�it?" 66 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:31,256 "On se tu jen tak poflakuje, nen� sou��st� tv�ho zatracen�" 67 00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:35,944 "Pro� si vykou�il zrovna jeho?" 68 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:41,100 J�... jsem prost� p�edpokl�dal, �e m�m kou�it lidem pt�ky. 69 00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,500 �ekl: "vyku� mi pt�ka!", tak�e v� co... 70 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:47,200 No a? Tak �ekni "Ne!", co je na tom tak t�k�ho? Je�i�i... 71 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,400 Hele, chlape, mus� d�vat bacha. Se� tady dole napo��d. 72 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:55,500 Bude� kou�it je�t� spoust� d�mon�, slon�m, prost� d�lat v�elijak� sra�ky. 73 00:04:55,500 --> 00:05:00,278 Tak proboha p�esta� dobrovolni�it v chodb�! 74 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:06,200 A nav�c, abyste �li do pekla, tak mus�te zem��t. A j� nechci um��t. 75 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:10,800 A j� m�m r�d sv�j �ivot. Jsem moc ��astnej. Jsem �enatej a moc miluju svoj� �enu. 76 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,800 Moje �ena m� nesn��. Fakt m� kurevsky nen�vid�. 77 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,911 Nen�vid� m� tak stra�n� moc! 78 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:20,200 Kdy� se j� zept�te: "Co jsi dneska d�lala?" 79 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,500 �ekne "Kurevsky nesn��m toho chlapa, to jsem dneska d�lala!" 80 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:24,611 "Nen�vid�m Louieho" 81 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,400 Je na m� po��d na�tvan�. 82 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:30,000 Tuhle se hrozn� na�tvala a pov�d�: 83 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,900 "V�, co jsi provedl? Naplnil jsi my�ku n�dob�m, 84 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:37,500 str�il jsi tam tu tabletu, ale u� jsi ji nezapnul!" 85 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:43,200 A j� na to: "A sakra! Co si te� po�neme?" 86 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:51,400 Ale potom mi opravdu vyrazila dech. Je to ��asn�, kdy� dojde a� na tohle. 87 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,500 �ekla: "No, tak pro� jsi ji nezapnul?" 88 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,833 Jako kdybych k tomu m�l d�vod. 89 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,400 Tak j� ��k�m: "To nem��u bejt prost� blbej?" 90 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,000 "Nem��e to bejt t�m, �e jsem prost� zkurvenej idiot?" 91 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:11,500 "�e jsem prost� naplnil my�ku, ud�lal *BHAA* a ode�el pry�?" 92 00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:14,200 S t�m bych um�l ��t. S t�m nem�m probl�m. 93 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,200 Ale ona ��k�: "Ne, pro� jsi to ud�lal?" 94 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,300 Co� znamen�, �e jsem se v�dom� rozhodl to neud�lat. 95 00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:21,856 V�te jak�ho to ze m� d�l� zmrda? 96 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,200 To toti� znamen�, �e jsem naplnil my�ku, a potom jsem si �ekl: 97 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:28,533 "V� co? Seru na n�, zap�nat ji nebudu! 98 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,600 M��e mi vykou�it pt�ka, jestli si mysl�, �e zm��knu tla��tko "ON". 99 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:38,000 D�m n�dob� do my�ky, ale nebudu ji zap�nat, ne ve svym vlastnim dom�!" 100 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:42,556 Pro� bych tohle d�lal? To by bylo ��len�. 101 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,000 D�vod pro� je obvykle na�tvan� je prostej. 102 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:52,000 Tvrd�, �e j� neposlouch�m, kdy� mi n�co ��k�, 103 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,000 a m� pravdu, ale 104 00:06:54,500 --> 00:07:00,600 nen� to proto�e ji nemiluju a bla bla bla, ale je to kv�li tomu... 105 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,400 Sna��m se poslouchat, fakt jo. Kdy� mluv�, tak j� prost� kouk�m do obli�eje, 106 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,622 "Tak �up, vypr�v�j!" 107 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:12,400 Ale po chv�li v�dycky: "Co to sakra..." Nedok�u to! Zkou�el jsem to! 108 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:16,500 Pa� ka�dej p��b�h se rozd�l� na pades�t dal��ch, kter� se d�l v�tv�j 109 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:20,300 do takov�ch bl�zniv�ch... A j� na to: "Ty vole! 110 00:07:20,300 --> 00:07:25,800 M�m poruchu soust�ed�n�, to prost� nejde. D�l� si prdel?" 111 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,700 Ale sna��m se. Poka�d� se sna��m, 112 00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:31,500 proto�e miluju tuhle retardovanou �enu, tak se sna��m ze v�ech sil 113 00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:34,278 poslouchat jej� historky. 114 00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:37,100 Ostatn� lidi se ani nesna�ej. 115 00:07:37,100 --> 00:07:39,800 Kdy� jdem na kalbu a za�ne mluvit, lidi prost� za�nou odch�zet, ��kaj: 116 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,200 "Tohle mrd�m, ta �ensk� je bl�zen. 117 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,800 Kdo by ztr�cel �as poslouch�n�m takov�ch sra�ek?" 118 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,800 J�! 119 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,400 Nem��e si pomoct a je mi j� l�to, proto�e 120 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,500 si mysl�m, �e j� ka�d� slovo z historky tak nadchne, 121 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:54,100 �e m� pot�ebu furt odb�hat od t�matu. 122 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:57,600 Prost� nic nedok�e do��ct do konce. Nedostane se ani p�es za��tek. 123 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,400 Kdy� moje �ena vypr�v� n�jakou storku, tak to je n�co jako: 124 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,100 "H�dej, co se dneska stalo s moj� m�mou. 125 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:03,700 Pamatuje� si jak jsem ti vypr�v�la o m�m�, jak byla na vej�ce, 126 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,900 Ne kdy� �la do Michiganu, ale kdy� p�estoupila. 127 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,400 Pamatuje�, pa� ten t�pek za�al bejt divnej a musela zmizet, proto�e byl... 128 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,500 A ne ten z �r�nu, to byl zas jinej p��b�h... 129 00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:12,400 Tamten t�pek byl mysl�m Per�an. 130 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:17,500 Sly�ela jsem, �e Persie se rozd�lila..." O �em to kurva mele�?! 131 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,600 Je�i�i Kriste! 132 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,411 Vyber si jednu v�c! 133 00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:29,922 M�j trochu zkurven� �cty k poslucha�i! 134 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:33,500 J� tohle ned�l�m. Takhle vykl�d�m p��b�h j�: 135 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:38,800 "Koupil jsem raj�e, sn�dl jsem ho a bylo dobr�." 136 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,900 To je historka, kterou dok�e pochopit ka�dej. 137 00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:43,567 Je o raj�eti celou dobu! 138 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,900 P�esto jsem r�d �enatej. M�m to fakt r�d. 139 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:53,100 P�r tejdn� zp�tky jsme m�li sex, 140 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:57,800 co� je ��asn�, �e se stalo, proto�e my nikdy nem�me sex. 141 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,600 Nikdy. 142 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:03,700 Proto�e m�me d�t� a na�e d�t� je p��us, kterej n�s nenech� m�t sex. 143 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,301 Ne, jebu to. To d�t� je fakt sr��. V�n�. 144 00:09:06,301 --> 00:09:09,500 Poka�d� m� urgentn� p��ovinu u sebe v pokoji. 145 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,000 - "Tati, poj� sem!" - "Jasn�, za minutku..." 146 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,500 - "Hned!" - "No jo," tak tam jdu. "Co je?" 147 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:17,000 "Pot�ebuju kalhoty, kter� bych mohla nasadit sv�mu pon�kovi." 148 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,222 "Ty jo, to m� poser! 149 00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:24,600 Sna��m se ti vedle oprcat m�mu, m��e� mi d�t chv�li pokoj? 150 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:30,822 Copak si chlap nem��e na minutku za�ukat s tvoj� m�mou?" 151 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:36,700 Nem�m ��dnej sex. Netu�il jsem, �e man�elstv� prost� znamen� ��dnej sex. 152 00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:39,400 ��dnej. Ani hovno. 153 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,800 M�m k�mo�e, co uva�ujou, �e se o�en�j a ��kaj vtipn� v�ci jako: 154 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,100 "V� ty co, nev�m jestli to zvl�dnu, 155 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:47,300 proto�e nev�m jestli dok�u m�t sex jenom s jednou �enou po zbytek �ivota." 156 00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:52,189 No, tak s takovou kravinou si nel�mej hlavu. 157 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,500 Bude� m�t sex s nula �enama po zbytek sv�ho �ivota! 158 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,600 To je mnohem m�� ne� s jednou. 159 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:02,100 Prej s jednou �enou - kdo si kurva mysl�, �e jsi? Odkud m� tuhle fantazii? 160 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:06,100 L�bilo by se mi m�t sex s jednou �enou po zbytek sv�ho �ivota. S libovolnou �enou. 161 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,700 S velkou tlustou mrtvou �enskou, co m� bradku. �ukal bych ji ka�dej den! 162 00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,811 A byl bych hrdej, �e ji m�m! 163 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,700 To m� v posledn� dob� ale moc netr�p�. M�m jinej probl�m: 164 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:20,000 Sna��m se naj�t m�sto ve svym dom�, 165 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,800 kde si ho m��u vyhonit, ani� by m� p�i tom n�kdo otravoval. 166 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,911 A to je te� opravdu slo�it�. 167 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,000 U� nen� kam j�t. 168 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,400 Te� si k n�m je�t� dot�hla svoj� m�mu, kter� bydl� v pokoji pro hosty 169 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,000 a j� jsem skon�il na ulici. Nem�m kam j�t. 170 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,200 Tak�e te� u� v�m, kdy� vid�m t�pka jak si hon� pt�ka u d�lnice West Side Highway 171 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:41,900 za b�l�ho dne, �e to nen� bezdomovec. To je prost� �enatej chlap! 172 00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:43,600 Nem� kam j�t! 173 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,400 "Sr�t na to. Mrd�m t�, klidn� na m� �um, vole. 174 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:49,733 Nem�m co skr�vat. Co mi zbejv� jin�ho?" 175 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,900 Nen� to f�r. Je mi 37 let a vlastn�m sv�j domov. 176 00:10:54,900 --> 00:11:00,700 M�l bych moct se prost� postavit v ob�v�ku a: "Jak se vede, zlato? Dobr� r�nko." 177 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:02,700 Ale nem��u. Mus�m se schov�vat. 178 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:09,000 A tak jsem dole ve sklep� u bojleru, skr�enej jako troll... 179 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,333 Je mi mizern�. "Achjo, kurva!" 180 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,100 Takhle to je. Masturbace chlap�m nep�in�� moc radosti. 181 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,900 Zd� se, �e �eny maj� r�dy masturbaci. 182 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:26,567 D�vaj si okv�tn� l�stky na pol�t�� a �vou p�i tom "ach, j�" nebo tak, v�te co. 183 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,000 A chlapi: "A kurva... 184 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,500 Zatracen�." 185 00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:35,500 Ob�as najdem uspokojen�, ale je n�sledovan� t�m nejhlub��m 186 00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,400 sebepohrd�n�m a depres� v�bec. 187 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,500 Je to ��asnej p�d z vrcholu: 188 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:47,278 "Jo, to je ono... Achjo, co to tady kurva d�l�m? Do prdele... 189 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:53,200 Mus�m do pr�ce, nem�m �as na takov� blbosti." 190 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:04,100 Ale pak se o�en�te a mus�te se za��t schov�vat. A fakt mus�te. Mus�te se schov�vat. 191 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:08,100 Proto�e kdy� v�s va�e �ena chyt� p�i masturbaci, tak to je smutn� pro celou rodinu. 192 00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:11,989 To nen� dobrej moment v man�elstv�. 193 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:15,722 P�ijde do sklepa: "Panebo�e!" 194 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:22,900 A pak se v�dycky vypt�v� na p��oviny. 195 00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,200 Moje �ena se v�dycky vypt�v�, t�eba: 196 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,978 "A mysl� p�i tom na m�?" 197 00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:32,300 "Co�e, jsi zkou�en�? Pro� bych to d�lal? 198 00:12:32,300 --> 00:12:36,900 Pro�? M��u myslet na kohokoliv, je to magick�! 199 00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:40,000 Pro� bych kurva... v�dy� jsem s tebou �enatej!" To si �ensk� v�n� myslej, 200 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,800 �e jejich man�el�, kdy� si hon�j, tak to ��kaj: "Jo, moje �ena! 201 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:45,100 Jo, to je ono! 202 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:51,000 Vyzvednu j� na leti�ti a je�t� m� se�ve. Jo, z toho jsem fakt hotovej!" 203 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,300 "Dej to do ko��ku, ale ne na vrch, ty debile!" 204 00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:57,522 "Jo, miluju, kdy� na m� takhle �t�k�!" 205 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,267 Ale v�� co, to je jedno. 206 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,300 Jsme rodina. M�me d�t�. T�m se v�echno m�n�. 207 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:06,600 To d�t� je v��m. 208 00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:11,200 Man�elstv� je nic. Bez d�t�te je man�elstv� prost� rand�n�. Neznamen� ani hovno. 209 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,100 A to si neuv�dom�te, dokud nem�te d�t�. 210 00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,200 Je to takhle: kdy� se vezmete, tak si ��k�te: 211 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,900 "Ty vole, j� nem��u odej�t 212 00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:20,200 Teda, ne �e bych cht�l odej�t, ale te� u� to fakt nejde." 213 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:27,644 A pak spolu m�te d�t� a ��k�te si: "Do prdele, j� jsem odej�t mohl. 214 00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:36,100 Jasn�, �e jsem mohl zmizet. Pojeban� dve�e byly p��mo t�mhle. 215 00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:38,544 Ale te� u� j�t nem��u. 216 00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:40,700 Te� m�me d�t�. 217 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:43,900 Miluju svou dceru. Je to ale obrovsk� zodpov�dnost, 218 00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:45,200 o kter� nikdy nep�emej�l�te. 219 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,600 Mus�te sv� d�t� pojmenovat. To je fakt d�le�it� v�c. 220 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,800 V�te, co m� fascinuje? M��ete pojmenovat svoje d�t� �pln� libovoln�. 221 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,300 Nen� to neuv��iteln�? Nejsou na to ��dn� z�kony. 222 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,400 M�lo by existovat p�r z�kon�... 223 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,600 M��ete svoje d�t� pojmenovat jak chcete. 224 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,700 D�t mu jm�no bez samohl�sek, 225 00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:09,100 t�eba Pnsndltndpff... Tssppfffffff. 226 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:19,200 Prost� �ty�icetkr�t "F", tak se jmenuje. "Fffffffffffffffffff... b� si uklidit v pokoji." 227 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:32,356 N�kter� lidi svoje d�t� pojmenujou Sunshine, Baterie, nebo tak n�co. 228 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,800 Mn� by se l�bilo sv� d�t� pojmenovat celou fr�z�. 229 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:39,200 n�co jako "D�my a p�nov�", to by bylo hust� jm�no pro d�cko. 230 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,756 Tohle je m�j syn, D�my a p�nov�. 231 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:54,844 Pak a� se jednou vymkne z rukou, budu moct hul�kat: "D�my a p�nov�, pros�m!" 232 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,900 Ale mus�te si d�vat bacha jak pojmenujete sv� d�t�. 233 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,600 Proto�e pak se st�v�, 234 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,500 �e si z n�j ostatn� d�cka ve �kole utahujou. 235 00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,200 A to ani nemus� m�t divn� jm�no, d�cka to dok�ou s ka�dym jm�nem. 236 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,500 D�ti jsou v tomhle p�eborn�ci. 237 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,100 Libovoln� jm�no, prost� ho vezmou a za�nou: "Luk� - �uk�" 238 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:19,100 "Michal - p�chal", "Hani�ka - tvoje m�ma je lesbi�ka" Prost� v�dycky si n�co najdou. 239 00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:22,800 Jak�koliv jm�no. Tak t�eba jak se jmenuje�? "Eriku - ty zkurvenej ��r�ku" 240 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:28,400 Vid�te? P�esn� takhle. Tyhle d�cka jsou fakt rychl�. 241 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,000 Jak se jmenuje� ty? 242 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,900 Pepa? Tak se�er pytel hoven, ty zkundyksichte. Vid�te, jak je to snadn�? 243 00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:38,500 Takhle do n�j prudili ve �kole celou dobu a on bre�el jak buz�k. Tohle se nestane 244 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,611 moj� mal� hol�i�ce. 245 00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:45,000 Moje dcera je fakt �ro. U n�s doma tomu ��fuje. 246 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,900 ��fuje doma v�emu. O v�em rozhoduje. 247 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,800 T�eba tuhle jsme hr�li na schov�vanou. 248 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,600 Hrajem na schovku a hrajem podle jej�ch pravidel, 249 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,300 kter� si vymyslela. 250 00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:58,100 A v�te pro�? Proto�e v�bec neum� hr�t na schovku. 251 00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:02,700 A tak to skr�v� t�mhle zkurven�ma fintama, aby to n�jak vykompenzovala. 252 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:08,000 A j� mus�m p�edst�rat jak debil, �e j� to jde skv�le. 253 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,800 Je to fakt sra�ka. T�eba hrajem... 254 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:18,356 Ne, ale tak kurva... V�m, �e je to d�t�, ale poslouchejte m�, kurva. 255 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:22,000 Kdy� se m�m schovat, tak mi �ekne, kam se m�m j�t schovat. 256 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,600 �ekne mi p�esn� kam. 257 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,300 �ekne: "Schovej se do sk��n�, tati!" 258 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:27,000 - "Ale v�dy� bude� v�d�t kam..." - "Schovej se do sk��n�!" 259 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,600 "No tak dobr�, jebat to, schov�m se teda do sk��n�, jak chce�, v pohod�." 260 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,044 Tak stoj�m ve sk��ni jak debil. 261 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,300 Ona p�ijde, "Na�la jsem t�!" a �ekne to takov�m vychytral�m t�nem. 262 00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:43,000 Takov�: "Na�la jsem t�!" A j� na to: "T�� jo!" 263 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:49,000 "Jaks p�i�la na to, kams mi �ekla, �e se m�m schovat?" 264 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:55,300 A pak, kdy� se schov�v� ona, tak to vypad� tak, �e 265 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:59,078 prost� jde ke zdi a ud�l� tohle... 266 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:03,044 A to je v�echno! Tady nic nen�! 267 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,100 Co tohle kurva m� bejt? 268 00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:11,800 Jak kdyby to bylo ��kej ninjovsk� skr�en� nevitelnosti. 269 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:16,200 A j� mus�m d�lat blb�ho, nem��u prost� vej�t a ��ct: "Hmm, se� t�mhle." 270 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,100 proto�e by za�la bre�et a posrala se do kalhot, v�� co... 271 00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:24,800 Tak�e mus�m chodit okolo jako debil: "Kdepak asi je? Nem�m pon�t� 272 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:27,600 kdepak by asi mohla b�t" 273 00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:32,678 D�v�m se j� p�i tom do o��! "Nevid�m ji..." 274 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,411 Tohle m� fascinuje. 275 00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:38,100 Tuhle jsme si hr�li, a na tom fakt vid�te ten bl�zinec, co doma m�me, jo... 276 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,500 To je dobrej p��klad toho, kam a� to do�lo. 277 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:42,900 Hrajeme variantu hry na schovku, kdy se se svou man�elkou 278 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,700 mus�me spole�n� rozhodovat, kde ji hledat. 279 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:48,000 Ona prost� �ekne: "Mami, �ekni t�tovi, kde m� m� hledat." Tak fajn. 280 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,400 Tak�e tam prost� takhle stoj�, takhle "schovan�" p��mo na o��ch 281 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:55,400 a moje �ena mi ��k�: "Pro� se t�eba nezkus� pod�vat pod postel?" 282 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,622 A j� na to: "Tak jo! 283 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,000 "Nen� tam!" 284 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,400 Pak �ekne: "A pro� se tedy nezkus� pod�vat do komody?" 285 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,500 "Oukej." Tak otev�u sk�� a ona: "Tohle nen� komoda. 286 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:11,800 Tohleto tam ned�v�me." "Je�i�i Kriste, no jo, kurva." 287 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,800 No tak se kouk�m t�mhle a ona: "Pro� by byla v t�hle sk��ni? V�dy� m� poli�ky. 288 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,000 Nem��e st�t na polici." "No, tak t�eba se tam mohla skr�it..." 289 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,300 Tak�e te� se h�d�me 290 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:27,522 o tom, kde hledat tohle zasran� d�t�, kter� celou dobu stoj� p��mo t�mhle. 291 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,400 Prost� doma tot�ln� vl�dne. 292 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,200 Pamatuju na Halloween minulej rok, 293 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,700 to za mnou p�r dn� p�ed Halloweenem p�i�la man�elka a ��k�: 294 00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:43,478 "Mus�me ti sehnat kost�m kocoura." 295 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:46,056 "Ne, to teda nemus�me." 296 00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:49,700 "Ale jo, proto�e ona si mysl�, �e bude� kocour, j� nevim..." 297 00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:53,200 Je to jako kdyby byla chl�pek s pistol�, kterej stoj� ve vedlej�� m�stnosti. 298 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,200 "Ona si prost� mysl�, �e bude� kocour. 299 00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:02,000 Nev�m jak na to p�i�la, ale prost� o�ek�v�, �e bude� na Halloweena za kocoura." 300 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:06,200 Tak ��k�m: "�ekni j� a� se jde vysrat, proto�e tohle d�lat nebudu." 301 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,000 Neboj�m se j�. 302 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:13,400 Jsou j� dva roky, klidn� m��em d�t bitku. Slo�il bych ji hned. 303 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,800 Dok�zal bych zml�tit tis�ce dvoulet�ch d�t�. 304 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,467 Prost� celodenn� masakr. 305 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:26,389 Ani by se proti m� nespikly, jsou to lamy. Fakt se j� neboj�m. 306 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,500 No, tak se moje �ena rozhodla, �e chce znovu ot�hotn�t. 307 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,000 Rozhodla to. 308 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,800 A prost� mi v srpnu �ekla: "P��t� tejden bu� doma." 309 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,900 "Pro�?" 310 00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:38,800 "Proto�e budu ovulovat, tak�e..." 311 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:43,200 Ne: "Cht�l bys se mnou m�t dal�� d�t�?", ale prost�: "Bu� pobl�," takhle k tomu p�istupuje. 312 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,800 Tak ��k�m: "No teda... j� nechci dal�� d�t�, tak�e nasrat." 313 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:46,900 A ona: "Tak jo." 314 00:19:46,900 --> 00:19:48,900 A tejden na to mi kou�ila pt�ka. 315 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:53,000 P�edt�m m� nekou�ila tak dlouho, Je�i�, ani u� nevim jestli mi ho v�bec n�kdy vykou�ila. 316 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,000 Tak je to dlouho. 317 00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:57,600 Tak�e mi kou�ila p�ro v den, kdy m�la ovulaci. 318 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:06,000 A j� jak �plnej debil: "Jo, to se ti l�b�!" Jako kdyby ze m� najednou byla vedle. 319 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000 Jak debil, no. 320 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,100 Tak�e ka�d�m dnem te� budem m�t dal�� d�t�. Je t�hotn�. 321 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,100 Fakt je to pravda! 322 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:22,711 A j� na to: "Hmmm, noo, tak jo. To je skv�l�." 323 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,900 Sr�t na to. Jebat to. 324 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,300 To je opravdu p��stup, kterej rodinu dr�� pohromad�. 325 00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,600 Nen� to "vz�jemn� se milujeme", ale "seru na to!" 326 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,600 M�m v p��i. 327 00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:38,800 Dal�� d�t�. Sr�t na to. Pro� ne? Sem s t�m... Fajn. Mrd�m to. 328 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,800 Ale probl�m je, nem�me ��dn� pojeban� pen�ze. 329 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,400 Nev�m odkud si mysl�, �e se pen�ze berou. 330 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,400 Jsme hrozn� chud�. A j� jsem z toho otr�venej. 331 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,400 Po��d jenom hrabu takovou d�ru. 332 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,400 A v�t�ina lid� je chud� taky, to je to. 333 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,000 V t�hle zemi je prost� ka�dej chudej. 334 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,900 A proto nem�m... Hele, nem�m r�d George Bushe. 335 00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:56,300 ale ani Kerry se mi nel�bil, pa� jsou kurva oba bohat� a nech�pou to. 336 00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,000 Nev�d� jak� to je bejt chudej. 337 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,600 Ale chod� lidi v�d�, jak� to je bejt bohatej. 338 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:05,700 V�d� to p�esn�, proto�e o tom fantaz�rujou v jednom kuse. 339 00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:11,600 Ka�dej chudej �lov�k m� celej sv�j bohatej �ivot napl�novanej. 340 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,300 Do detailu. 341 00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:16,078 "Budu m�t d�m z �okol�dy. 342 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:20,800 Lidi mi budou kou�it pt�ka jak budu vch�zet do jednotliv�ch m�stnost�. 343 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:28,133 Budu si ut�rat prdel do �iv�ch kr�l�k� a ty pou�it� h�zet z okna." 344 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,700 Prost� v�echno promy�len�. 345 00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:34,800 Ale bohat� lidi si nep�edstavujou jak� to je bejt chudej, pro� by to kurva d�lali? 346 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:39,244 "Jo, v�ude bych musel jezdit autobusem!" 347 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,600 V�dycky jsem byl chudej, celej �ivot. Nikdy jsem nem�l pen�ze. 348 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,900 Nezaj�m� m� to. Je mi to u prdele, ale v�te co, 349 00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:50,100 te� je hodn� lid�, co jsou chud�. Tuhle jsem jel skrz Upstate New York 350 00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,500 a �ivoty t�ch lid� stojej fakt za hovno, ty jo. 351 00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,600 U� jste n�kdy proj�d�li m�stem a ��kali si: 352 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,000 Co se tady kurva stalo, vybouchla tu bomba z hoven nebo co? 353 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,500 �ivot v�ech lid� v tom m�st� stoj� za vyli�prdel. 354 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:05,300 A jde to poznat, proto�e prost� takhle post�vaj� p�ed svejma bar�kama. 355 00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:07,300 Je to drsn�. 356 00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:11,700 A spousta lid� o t�chle lidech ��k�, �e jsou "b�lej odpad". 357 00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:15,400 Miluju ten v�raz, "b�lej odpad," proto�e to je jedinej rasovej v�raz 358 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,000 kterej kdy� pou�ijete, tak se nikdo neuraz�. Ka�d�mu je to u prdele. 359 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,400 Kdy� �eknete "b�lej odpad", nikdo se neohrad�: 360 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,600 "Hej, nemluv o nich takhle. Nen� to hezk�." 361 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,000 Nikdo neobhajuje b�lej odpad. 362 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,400 Mohli byste se bavit s nejliber�ln�j��m hip�kem na sv�t� a ��ct mu: 363 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:34,900 "Vid�l jsem t�pka, tot�ln� b�lej odpad" A on �ekne: "Haha, a� jde do prdele! 364 00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:37,344 Zasranej b�lej odpad!" 365 00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:43,900 J� nevim, no, jenom chci bejt dobrej t�ta pro svou dceru a... 366 00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:45,900 Je to komplikovan� zem�, lidi se roz�ilujou, 367 00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:49,500 ka�dej nesn�� homosexu�ly. Nikdy jsem nech�pal nen�vist v��i gay�m, proto�e 368 00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:52,600 to �e je n�kdo gay nem� vliv na tv�j �ivot, tak�e je pro m� divn�, kdy� se n�kdo 369 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:59,267 doma kv�li tomu nas�r� a ��k�: "Lidi jsou tepl�! Zatracen�!" 370 00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:03,000 Pro� t� to zaj�m�? 371 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,400 Dovedu pochopit, �e nesn��te gaye, kdy� t�eba sek�te tr�vn�k 372 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,800 a dva t�pci si tam navz�jem kou�ej pt�ky p��mo v tr�v�. 373 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:16,578 "Sakra, mus�m kolem v�s buzerant� sekat ka�dou ned�li, u� me to mrd�!" 374 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:22,100 Anebo �ekn�me, �e r�no j�te sn�dani a chyst�te se nabrat cere�lie z misky 375 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:27,800 a dva t�pci za�nou �ermovat pt�kama p��mo p�ed v�ma. "Ale no tak! 376 00:23:29,900 --> 00:23:35,500 Mus�m se dostat v�as do pr�ce, nem�m �as se l��c� vyhejbat va�im ��r�k�m." 377 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:39,944 Zasran� buzny, vypadn�te z moj� kuchyn�! 378 00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:43,600 Douf�m, �e budu lep�� rodi�, ne� byli moji rodi�e. 379 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:45,500 Moji rodi�e nebyli dob��. 380 00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:47,200 Tohle je typickej p��klad. 381 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:48,900 P��sah�m bohu, �e tohle je pravda. 382 00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:51,200 Rodi�e m� poslali na l�tn� t�bor, kdy� jsem byl ve 3. t��d�. 383 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:52,400 To je dobrej n�pad, ne? 384 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,400 Ale oni ten t�bor nevyb�rali, prost� n�jakej vzali n�hodn�. 385 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,600 A p��sah�m, �e tohle se fakt stalo: 386 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,200 Dorazil jsem tam a byl to t�bor pro retardovan� d�ti. 387 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,200 P��sah�m. 388 00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:10,700 Byl jsem na t�bo�e pro retardovan� d�ti. 389 00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:15,300 Nikdy nezapomenu na tu chv�li po p��jezdu, kdy jsem se rozhl�d a ��kal si: "A kurva! 390 00:24:15,300 --> 00:24:17,300 Jsem retardovanej! 391 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,500 Dote� jsem to nev�d�l, ale ur�it� jsem. 392 00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:25,900 T�ko tu m��u bejt jedinej, kdo nen�. 393 00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:29,200 A takhle se rozhodli, �e mi to �eknou? 394 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,900 "Po�li ho na t�bor, ser na to, on to pochop�. 395 00:24:32,900 --> 00:24:35,900 Je retardovanej, ne blbej." 396 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:38,500 Moc se mi tam l�bilo. Bylo to skv�l�! 397 00:24:38,500 --> 00:24:44,600 V�ichni jsou hodn�, ka�d� hra je rem�za, zlat� medajle pro v�echny - par�da! 398 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:49,100 A te� u� nikdy, nikdy, nikdy neodsuzuju ostatn� rodi�e. 399 00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:51,700 Nikdy. D�l�val jsem to, ale u� ne. 400 00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:54,000 Jako t�eba kdy� vid�te matku v McDonald's, 401 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,700 nebo v hra�k��stv� a ona si vylejv� vztek na sv�m d�t�ti. 402 00:24:56,700 --> 00:25:01,600 ��k� mu: "Dr� hubu! Nen�vid�m t�! Se� hnusnej!" 403 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,300 A lidi stojej okolo a ��kaj: "Panebo�e, to je ale stra�n� matka!" 404 00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:09,000 No, h�dej co, tyhle lidi nejsou rodi�e. Nemaj� d�ti. 405 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,100 Pa� v�ichni rodi�e, co jsou v tom kr�m�, si ��kaj�: 406 00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:15,878 "Co to posran� d�t� ud�lalo t� neboh� �en�? 407 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:21,622 Chud�k �ena, k� bych ji mohl pomoct." 408 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,500 Proto�e nem�te tu�en�, fakt ne. 409 00:25:25,500 --> 00:25:27,800 Anebo kdy� vid�te rodi�e, kterej p�sob� lhostejn�, 410 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,100 t�eba m�mu s d�t�tem v McDonaldu 411 00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:33,500 a ona ��k�: "J� to u� ned�v�m," a prost� se sesype, 412 00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:36,100 vypadne j� z ruky n�kup a v�echno se kut�l� okolo 413 00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:39,100 A to d�cko je spokojen�, ba�t� svoje hranolky. 414 00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:42,300 A zept� se: "Maminko, pro� je nebe modr�?" 415 00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:45,600 A ona na to: "Rad�i ml� a �er sv� hranolky." 416 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,900 A vy si mysl�te: "Jak� to hrozn� matka! 417 00:25:47,900 --> 00:25:50,500 Pro� neodpov� sv�mu d�t�ti? 418 00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:55,600 A� budu m�t d�t�, tak zodpov�m v�echny jeho ot�zky! 419 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:59,156 A otev�u jeho mysl div�m sv�ta." 420 00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:02,700 Tak h�dejte co? V�bec nev�te, o �em to kurva pl�c�te. 421 00:26:02,700 --> 00:26:05,900 D�t�ti se ned� odpov�d�t na ot�zku. Nep�ijme ��dnou odpov��. 422 00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:09,800 Nikdy ne�ekne: "Aha, d�k, u� to ch�pu." Tohle nikdy kurva ne�ekne. 423 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:13,100 Prost� jedna za druhou, po��d jenom "Pro�?", "Pro�?", "Pro�?" 424 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:16,100 Na konci debaty u� ani nev�te kdo kurva jste. 425 00:26:16,100 --> 00:26:18,600 Je to ��len� rozeb�r�n�. 426 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,800 Tuhle mi dcerka ��k�: 427 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,100 "Tati, pro� nem��eme j�t ven?" "No, proto�e pr��." 428 00:26:24,100 --> 00:26:26,100 "Pro�?" 429 00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:29,600 "No, voda pad� z nebe." 430 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,600 "Pro�?" 431 00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:33,900 "Proto�e byla v mraku." 432 00:26:33,900 --> 00:26:35,500 "Pro�?" 433 00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:40,278 "No, mraky vznikaj, kdy� se odpa�uje voda." 434 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,400 "Pro�?" 435 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:51,400 "J� nevim, fakt nevim, prost� v�c v�c� u� nevim! 436 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:55,067 To byly ve�ker� v�ci, kter� v�m." 437 00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:00,500 "Pro�?" 438 00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:06,100 "Proto�e jsem hloupej, v�? Jsem blbej." 439 00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:07,400 "Pro�?" 440 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,600 "No, proto�e jsem ned�val pozor ve �kole, v�? 441 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,000 Chodil jsem do �koly, ale nevn�mal jsem." 442 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:12,900 "Pro�?" 443 00:27:12,900 --> 00:27:17,600 "Pa� jsem byl furt zhulenej, kou�il jsem moc tr�vy." 444 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:18,800 "Pro�?" 445 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,800 "Pa� m� rodi�e byli nezodpov�dn�, bylo jim to u prdele." 446 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:22,400 "Pro�?" 447 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:23,900 "Pa� �ukali v aut� a m�li m� 448 00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:26,400 a pak m� nesn�eli za to, �e jsem je p�ipravil o ml�d�." 449 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:27,000 "Pro�?" 450 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,100 "Proto�e nem�li mor�lku, prost� byli bez mor�ln�ho kompasu." 451 00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:30,600 "Pro�?" 452 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,000 "Pa� m�li taky rodi�e na hovno, takhle to jde d�l a d�l." 453 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:33,600 "Pro�?" 454 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,500 "Proto�e nasrat, jsme prost� sami ve vesm�ru. Ka�d�mu jsme u prdele." 455 00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:40,000 Na chvilku s t�m p�estanu, abych v��i v�m byl slu�nej. 456 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,800 Ale tohle pokra�uje dal��ch X hodin 457 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,800 a st�v� se to divn� a abstraktn� a na konci to je pak: "A pro�?" 458 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:51,800 "No, proto�e n�kter� v�ci jsou a n�kter� v�ci nejsou." 459 00:27:52,100 --> 00:27:52,700 "Pro�?" 460 00:27:52,700 --> 00:27:58,300 "No, proto�e v�ci, kter� nejsou, prost� nem��ou bejt." 461 00:27:58,300 --> 00:27:58,801 "Pro�?" 462 00:27:58,801 --> 00:28:04,100 "Proto�e pak by nic nebylo nic! Nem��e� m�t kurva ��dn� nic. 463 00:28:04,100 --> 00:28:06,100 V�echno je n�co!" 464 00:28:06,500 --> 00:28:07,100 "Pro�?" 465 00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:10,500 "Proto�e kdyby kdyby nic nebylo, tak by tu byly v�elijak� divn� sra�ky, kter� nem�me r�di! 466 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:13,600 Obrovsk� mravenci s kloboukama by tancovali v�ude kolem! 467 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,100 Na takov� sra�ky tu nen� m�sto!" 468 00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:19,900 "Pro�?" "Naser si! Rad�i �er sv� hranolky, ty malej sr��i, do prdele pr�ce!" 469 00:28:19,900 --> 00:28:24,789 D�ky moc, d�ky v�m v�em! Dobrou noc. D�kuju! 42719