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1
00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:03,377
[Pop music playing]
2
00:00:04,745 --> 00:00:06,780
[Sniffs]
Ah, get a whiff of that.
3
00:00:06,814 --> 00:00:09,416
My car still has that
new duct tape smell.
4
00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:10,684
Oh!
5
00:00:10,718 --> 00:00:13,453
And a spring in the seat
that is very into latinas.
6
00:00:14,522 --> 00:00:16,456
Okay, one more pothole
7
00:00:16,490 --> 00:00:18,592
and I'm going to have to bring
you home to meet my parents.
8
00:00:18,626 --> 00:00:21,461
God, this is so much better
than public transportation.
9
00:00:21,495 --> 00:00:24,097
I don't know why you never
want to drive with me.
10
00:00:24,131 --> 00:00:27,200
Uh, because I don't trust a car
that's 40% stolen office supplies.
11
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:28,168
Hmm.
12
00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:30,971
- Is something burning?
- [Sniffing]
13
00:00:31,005 --> 00:00:33,840
Oh yeah, but that's rubber,
not gas, so we're fine.
14
00:00:33,875 --> 00:00:36,810
[Coughs] No no no, seriously,
I need... I need air.
15
00:00:36,844 --> 00:00:37,911
- [Cracks]
- Oh!
16
00:00:37,945 --> 00:00:42,449
Oh, don't worry about it.
That broke a while ago.
17
00:00:42,483 --> 00:00:45,585
[Chuckles] Here,
just use one of these.
18
00:00:48,522 --> 00:00:50,423
[Grunts]
19
00:00:50,458 --> 00:00:52,325
[Gasping]
20
00:00:53,427 --> 00:00:55,161
Here, let me turn on the vents.
21
00:00:58,099 --> 00:00:59,099
[Coughs]
22
00:00:59,133 --> 00:01:00,934
No no, turn it off!
Turn it off!
23
00:01:00,968 --> 00:01:02,836
It's okay, it's just
some leaves or...
24
00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:04,771
[Spits] Raccoon fur.
25
00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:08,675
[Hacks]
26
00:01:08,709 --> 00:01:10,543
- [Squealing]
- Uh-oh.
27
00:01:10,578 --> 00:01:12,646
That didn't sound good.
28
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,514
No, it's fine.
I can fix it.
29
00:01:14,548 --> 00:01:17,284
- [Radio playing pop music]
- [Groans]
30
00:01:17,318 --> 00:01:20,320
[Laughs] See? Now you
can't hear anything.
31
00:01:20,354 --> 00:01:22,188
[Backfires]
32
00:01:22,223 --> 00:01:24,357
[Engine sputters, dies]
33
00:01:24,392 --> 00:01:26,226
That's new.
34
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:29,195
It's all right,
we're still moving, so...
35
00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:32,098
Yeah, well, that's because
we're going downhill.
36
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:34,935
Okay, and a little too fast. Now
would be a good time to pull over!
37
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:37,704
Yeah, totally would,
if the brakes worked!
38
00:01:37,738 --> 00:01:39,606
[Screaming]
39
00:01:40,808 --> 00:01:42,809
[Theme music playing]
40
00:01:43,601 --> 00:01:46,810
- sync and corrections by Zac -
- www.addic7ed.com -
41
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,888
Well, my shoe broke.
42
00:01:56,724 --> 00:01:59,359
Your car broke.
43
00:01:59,393 --> 00:02:00,760
And they're worth
about the same!
44
00:02:02,463 --> 00:02:05,665
I get it! You think my
car's a piece of crap.
45
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:08,401
I wish your car was
a piece of crap.
46
00:02:08,436 --> 00:02:11,705
To quote the mechanic, it is
a "tragedy with seat belts."
47
00:02:12,740 --> 00:02:13,840
I say this with love, Gabi,
48
00:02:13,874 --> 00:02:16,443
I think it's time
to crush it into a cube.
49
00:02:18,846 --> 00:02:20,714
What do you see in this photo?
50
00:02:20,748 --> 00:02:22,749
You not pulling off cornrows.
51
00:02:22,783 --> 00:02:24,451
[Shudders]
52
00:02:25,619 --> 00:02:27,754
I meant this one.
53
00:02:27,788 --> 00:02:30,523
I know, it's the day your mom
54
00:02:30,558 --> 00:02:32,559
gave you her car
for your 16th birthday.
55
00:02:32,593 --> 00:02:34,394
Yeah.
56
00:02:34,428 --> 00:02:37,464
And that car was the last thing
she gave me before she died.
57
00:02:37,498 --> 00:02:38,732
I know, I'm sorry.
58
00:02:38,766 --> 00:02:41,634
I know how much
it means to you.
59
00:02:41,669 --> 00:02:42,869
"To my sweet baby girl,"
60
00:02:42,903 --> 00:02:45,405
two rules:
Treat her well
61
00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:46,873
"and don't ever have sex
in the backseat."
62
00:02:48,476 --> 00:02:49,876
Well, you followed
the first one.
63
00:02:49,910 --> 00:02:52,479
It's just every time
I sit in that car,
64
00:02:52,513 --> 00:02:56,649
I feel like she's still sitting next
to me, yelling "Brake! Brake! Brake!"
65
00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:01,654
Gabi, the car is 30 years old.
I think it's time to let her go.
66
00:03:01,689 --> 00:03:03,456
- What?! Never!
- It's not safe.
67
00:03:03,491 --> 00:03:05,325
If you keep driving it
you're gonna see your mom
68
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,460
a lot sooner than you think.
69
00:03:07,495 --> 00:03:09,462
I realize how bad that sounds.
70
00:03:09,497 --> 00:03:11,197
I'm just worried about you.
71
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,133
That's fine.
I'm gonna get her fixed.
72
00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:15,268
Well, I hate to be
a buzzkill Betty,
73
00:03:15,302 --> 00:03:17,904
but how are you gonna
afford to fix that?
74
00:03:17,938 --> 00:03:21,641
The way my mom taught me,
by baking.
75
00:03:21,675 --> 00:03:25,478
She said "when life gives you
lemons, you just make lemon pie."
76
00:03:26,647 --> 00:03:28,815
I feel like we may need
to make like 100.
77
00:03:28,849 --> 00:03:30,684
Well, this would be
the first time your pie
78
00:03:30,685 --> 00:03:32,519
would be getting
us out of trouble.
79
00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:42,028
Gabi is almost an hour late.
Josh is gonna be mad.
80
00:03:42,063 --> 00:03:44,097
This is going to be good.
81
00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:48,668
Guys, where's Gabi?
I'm starving.
82
00:03:48,703 --> 00:03:49,987
Gabi's in the other room!
83
00:03:49,988 --> 00:03:52,072
Yeah, a room that's
not in this house.
84
00:03:53,841 --> 00:03:55,642
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
85
00:03:55,676 --> 00:03:59,579
My car died and I was going to
text you but my phone died too.
86
00:03:59,613 --> 00:04:00,747
Oh my God, Gabi.
87
00:04:00,781 --> 00:04:02,482
Uh-oh, here we go.
88
00:04:02,516 --> 00:04:03,483
Does someone need a hug?
89
00:04:04,485 --> 00:04:06,753
Yes, that would be lovely.
Thank you.
90
00:04:06,787 --> 00:04:08,555
What the hell?
91
00:04:09,657 --> 00:04:12,125
He never hugs me.
92
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,427
And I offer daily.
93
00:04:16,263 --> 00:04:18,214
Do you think it's
because they slept together?
94
00:04:18,215 --> 00:04:18,865
No!
95
00:04:18,899 --> 00:04:20,934
Damn it, 'cause I was
going to try that.
96
00:04:22,203 --> 00:04:24,971
Uh, Josh, I don't mean
to nitpick,
97
00:04:25,005 --> 00:04:27,774
but last week, when I was late,
I didn't get a hug.
98
00:04:28,809 --> 00:04:31,544
I think we all feel
under-hugged.
99
00:04:31,579 --> 00:04:33,513
Guys, come on, you don't
need special treatment.
100
00:04:33,547 --> 00:04:36,483
You're responsible adults.
Your lives are under control.
101
00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:37,484
[Whispers] This one's
hanging on by a thread.
102
00:04:40,721 --> 00:04:42,489
No, I'm not!
103
00:04:42,523 --> 00:04:44,457
I... I had a little bit
of car trouble,
104
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,260
which involved jumping out
of it to save my life.
105
00:04:47,294 --> 00:04:51,030
And then I was going to call you but
then the trolley ran over my phone.
106
00:04:51,065 --> 00:04:54,067
Don't worry, I found a way
to pay for the repairs,
107
00:04:54,101 --> 00:04:57,837
which involves baking and
selling pies at the swap meet.
108
00:04:57,872 --> 00:05:00,707
Now does that sound like somebody
who's hanging on by a thread?
109
00:05:02,143 --> 00:05:03,743
I'm sorry, you're right,
110
00:05:03,777 --> 00:05:05,879
she's a train wreck.
111
00:05:06,914 --> 00:05:08,615
I'm sorry too.
112
00:05:11,585 --> 00:05:13,653
So, Gabi, why don't you
give me the mechanic's number
113
00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:15,088
and let me take
care of this for you?
114
00:05:15,089 --> 00:05:16,489
Oh... no no, thank you.
115
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,525
This thread-hanger-onner
has it under control.
116
00:05:18,559 --> 00:05:19,993
Hey, you know I didn't
mean anything by that.
117
00:05:19,994 --> 00:05:21,427
I'm just looking
out for you.
118
00:05:21,462 --> 00:05:22,479
Give me the
mechanic's number and
119
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,496
I'll make sure he's not
ripping you off.
120
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,415
Oh, trust me, I did
my research and
121
00:05:25,416 --> 00:05:27,300
this is the perfect
mechanic to fix my car.
122
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,169
Really?
123
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,070
And how did you decide that?
124
00:05:31,105 --> 00:05:34,040
Well, he was the closest one that
Sofia and I could push it to.
125
00:05:37,945 --> 00:05:39,212
- Hey there.
- Hey.
126
00:05:39,246 --> 00:05:42,916
Did a small blonde girl drop off
a rusty Toyota tercel in here?
127
00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:45,818
Ooh, I wouldn't forget
a piece like that.
128
00:05:45,853 --> 00:05:47,271
Excuse me?
129
00:05:47,272 --> 00:05:49,689
That car, man.
What a piece of junk.
130
00:05:49,723 --> 00:05:52,325
I told blondie she is gonna
take a lot of work, man.
131
00:05:52,359 --> 00:05:54,561
[Chuckles] Oh, I bet you did.
132
00:05:55,663 --> 00:05:58,464
Guess what? Now you're
dealing with this guy.
133
00:05:58,499 --> 00:06:02,135
So why don't you break it
down to me, man to man?
134
00:06:02,169 --> 00:06:05,171
Okay, the timing belt snapped, sent
the valves through the pistons,
135
00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:08,241
the transmission bands are shot, and
the camshaft bearings are dust.
136
00:06:10,044 --> 00:06:12,245
That's what I-I figured. Yeah, I-I
thought that was the problem.
137
00:06:13,881 --> 00:06:15,882
So how much is it
gonna cost to fix?
138
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,017
[Sighs] Look, man, can
I be honest with you?
139
00:06:18,052 --> 00:06:20,587
That car is a coffin
on wheels, okay?
140
00:06:20,621 --> 00:06:21,921
I would not let
my mother drive it.
141
00:06:21,956 --> 00:06:24,891
Now, my mother-in-law, I'd give
it to her with a big bow on top.
142
00:06:24,925 --> 00:06:26,659
But guess what
I'm gonna do for you,
143
00:06:26,694 --> 00:06:29,529
I'll scrap it
and give you 500 bucks
144
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:32,265
towards any of my fine
pre-owned automobiles
145
00:06:32,299 --> 00:06:34,267
in my showroom-slash-sidewalk.
146
00:06:40,341 --> 00:06:42,108
Ah, this is great!
At this rate,
147
00:06:42,142 --> 00:06:44,410
we'll have enough pies to sell
at the swap meet tomorrow.
148
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:47,080
Ahem.
149
00:06:47,114 --> 00:06:48,915
What are you doing?
150
00:06:49,950 --> 00:06:51,651
[Mumbling] Quality control?
151
00:06:53,087 --> 00:06:56,623
Question, how are we planning
on getting all these pies there?
152
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:57,890
In my car... oh.
153
00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:01,594
Don't worry.
I'll figure something else out.
154
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:03,463
Okay? Because the
pie's the limit!
155
00:07:03,497 --> 00:07:04,731
[Knocking]
156
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:09,302
Oh, hello, Josh.
Are you here to tell me
157
00:07:09,336 --> 00:07:11,304
something else I'm doing wrong?
158
00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:12,472
No.
159
00:07:12,506 --> 00:07:15,041
I'm here to tell you
something I did right.
160
00:07:15,075 --> 00:07:17,343
Oh yes, 'cause that's
super different.
161
00:07:18,912 --> 00:07:20,847
Come here, I have
something to show you.
162
00:07:20,881 --> 00:07:22,815
[Muffled] Hi, Josh.
163
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,054
Finally we're alone.
164
00:07:32,559 --> 00:07:34,627
Schwah!
165
00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:35,795
Sch-what's that?
166
00:07:36,797 --> 00:07:37,830
[Alarm beeps]
167
00:07:37,865 --> 00:07:40,394
It is your brand-new
168
00:07:40,934 --> 00:07:42,368
used car!
169
00:07:42,403 --> 00:07:44,404
- What?
- You're welcome.
170
00:07:44,438 --> 00:07:46,306
Wait, you bought me a car?
171
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,440
Oh, here come the tears.
172
00:07:47,474 --> 00:07:50,076
Why would you buy me a car?
I already have a car.
173
00:07:50,110 --> 00:07:53,179
Not anymore you don't!
I traded it in for that guy.
174
00:07:54,214 --> 00:07:55,882
Wait, what?
Where's my car?
175
00:07:55,916 --> 00:07:58,951
I had 'em scrap it. Who's
excited for power windows?!
176
00:07:58,986 --> 00:08:02,021
Not me! You scrapped my car?!
How could you?
177
00:08:02,056 --> 00:08:04,824
Wait, you're mad at me?
178
00:08:04,858 --> 00:08:07,860
I don't get it. Everybody loves
Oprah when she gives out free cars.
179
00:08:07,895 --> 00:08:10,396
- You had no right to do that.
- [Snickers]
180
00:08:10,431 --> 00:08:12,699
Look, Gabi, there's nothing you can
say that's gonna make me feel bad
181
00:08:12,733 --> 00:08:15,234
about getting you a car and
getting rid of that trash heap.
182
00:08:16,236 --> 00:08:18,137
[Sighs]
That was my mom's car.
183
00:08:18,172 --> 00:08:20,306
She gave it to me as a present
before she died.
184
00:08:23,444 --> 00:08:25,011
Except that.
185
00:08:26,347 --> 00:08:28,081
[Alarm beeps]
186
00:08:36,989 --> 00:08:38,757
- Gabi...
- Stop talking.
187
00:08:39,892 --> 00:08:41,693
Can we please just
not say anything?
188
00:08:43,763 --> 00:08:46,698
I mean how could you
sell my mom's car?!
189
00:08:46,732 --> 00:08:49,534
God, the ego on you! How does
your head even fit in here?
190
00:08:51,304 --> 00:08:53,405
Because it's actually
incredibly roomy for a compact?
191
00:08:56,275 --> 00:08:59,311
I'm sorry, I shouldn't be yelling at
the person who gives me a paycheck
192
00:08:59,345 --> 00:09:02,047
and buys me cars,
but how dare you?!
193
00:09:02,081 --> 00:09:05,884
This is the worst nice thing that
anybody has ever done for me.
194
00:09:05,918 --> 00:09:08,753
I'm serious, I am boiling mad!
195
00:09:08,788 --> 00:09:10,955
That actually might be
the heated seats.
196
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:13,558
I paid a little extra for them.
197
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,795
You better pray that
my car is still...
198
00:09:16,829 --> 00:09:18,630
- [Sigh of relief]
- Oh, you're still here!
199
00:09:18,664 --> 00:09:20,632
I thought I'd never
see you again.
200
00:09:20,666 --> 00:09:23,501
God, the thought of anyone else
inside you just kills me.
201
00:09:25,738 --> 00:09:27,439
And you're all in one piece.
202
00:09:30,476 --> 00:09:34,245
- More or less.
- Aha, there's the happy couple.
203
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,281
We are not happy or a couple.
204
00:09:36,315 --> 00:09:39,851
Listen, guys, whatever the
problem is, we can fix it.
205
00:09:39,885 --> 00:09:41,219
The customer's always right.
206
00:09:41,253 --> 00:09:44,022
Good. Because I
traded this car in
207
00:09:44,056 --> 00:09:45,390
and bought one of
your newer models which
208
00:09:45,391 --> 00:09:46,725
I need to now trade
back for this one.
209
00:09:46,759 --> 00:09:48,960
Mm-hmm, okay.
Not gonna happen.
210
00:09:48,994 --> 00:09:50,845
No no no. Excuse me.
Sir, I really think
211
00:09:50,846 --> 00:09:52,697
you're gonna want
to change your mind
212
00:09:52,732 --> 00:09:54,650
when you hear how guilty
this man feels about
213
00:09:54,651 --> 00:09:56,568
selling you the car
that my mother gave me,
214
00:09:56,602 --> 00:09:58,636
and how he'll do anything
to get it back,
215
00:09:58,671 --> 00:10:00,772
so just name your price,
he's a millionaire.
216
00:10:00,806 --> 00:10:04,175
Look, I understand you've got
a little situation going on
217
00:10:04,210 --> 00:10:07,178
and I'm no crook, so I'll let you
drive it off the lot for 10,000.
218
00:10:07,213 --> 00:10:09,114
10,000?!
219
00:10:09,148 --> 00:10:11,182
- Fine, sold.
- Wait, seriously?
220
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:13,385
Gabi, this guy's got us
by the lug nuts.
221
00:10:15,087 --> 00:10:17,222
Someone decided to tell
him I'm a millionaire.
222
00:10:17,256 --> 00:10:19,791
But I want to make this up to you.
So you said 10, right?
223
00:10:19,825 --> 00:10:21,693
- Did I? I meant 20.
- 20?!
224
00:10:21,727 --> 00:10:22,344
Okay, 20.
225
00:10:22,345 --> 00:10:23,795
No, that's crazy.
Josh, you can't do this.
226
00:10:23,829 --> 00:10:24,588
I can and I will.
227
00:10:24,589 --> 00:10:26,865
Okay, 30 and you're out
the door no questions asked.
228
00:10:26,866 --> 00:10:28,666
No, stop.
This is ridiculous.
229
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:30,502
Sir, you should be
ashamed of yourself.
230
00:10:30,536 --> 00:10:32,637
Me? What about what
he did to you?
231
00:10:32,671 --> 00:10:35,740
Okay? You love this car.
This is your momma's car.
232
00:10:35,775 --> 00:10:38,710
All right? You don't turn
your back on family, girl.
233
00:10:41,247 --> 00:10:43,348
- I think we should go.
- Gabi, please, just let me...
234
00:10:43,382 --> 00:10:46,050
No. Josh, I can't live
with myself if you do this.
235
00:10:46,085 --> 00:10:49,053
Hey, why don't we all just
calm down and go to the bank?
236
00:10:56,996 --> 00:10:58,763
Where have you been?
237
00:10:58,798 --> 00:11:00,865
I was riding a horse
on the beach with taye diggs.
238
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,034
Where the hell
you think I've been?
239
00:11:03,068 --> 00:11:06,971
Well, thank God you're back,
because I have got some dirt.
240
00:11:07,006 --> 00:11:10,608
And I got some cleaning
supplies, so spill!
241
00:11:11,777 --> 00:11:14,512
Guess who bought miss
hanging-by-a-thread a car?
242
00:11:14,547 --> 00:11:18,183
- Miss who got a what?
- Mm-hmm.
243
00:11:18,217 --> 00:11:22,220
Apparently, being a responsible
adult around here gets you nothing.
244
00:11:22,254 --> 00:11:25,356
Turns out the squeaky
wheel does get the oil.
245
00:11:25,391 --> 00:11:28,359
- And a car to put it in.
- Mm-hmm!
246
00:11:29,395 --> 00:11:31,930
Oh, well, look who's back.
247
00:11:31,964 --> 00:11:33,832
How's the new car Josh got you,
248
00:11:33,866 --> 00:11:37,101
that he didn't get anybody else who's
worked here much longer than you?
249
00:11:37,136 --> 00:11:39,604
- I hate it.
- [Gasps]
250
00:11:39,638 --> 00:11:42,006
Quick, Josh, buy her
a bedroom to go stomp into.
251
00:11:42,041 --> 00:11:44,609
Guys, not now.
252
00:11:44,643 --> 00:11:46,161
Well, yesterday you
said you treat her
253
00:11:46,162 --> 00:11:47,679
differently because
her life's a mess.
254
00:11:47,713 --> 00:11:49,414
But I'm starting to think
it's something else.
255
00:11:49,448 --> 00:11:52,517
Now I don't want to play
the race card...
256
00:11:52,551 --> 00:11:54,285
Or the gay card...
257
00:11:55,354 --> 00:11:57,489
Or the age card...
258
00:11:57,523 --> 00:12:00,992
Or the Asian card...
259
00:12:01,026 --> 00:12:03,027
But you're prejudiced!
260
00:12:03,062 --> 00:12:06,197
- Look, guys...
- Sorry, there's nothing you can say
261
00:12:06,232 --> 00:12:10,735
to make us feel bad about the
miss I-get-a-hug-on-demand.
262
00:12:12,137 --> 00:12:14,606
How about that I sold
her late mother's car
263
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:16,708
and it was the only thing
Gabi had left of her.
264
00:12:16,742 --> 00:12:19,611
Oh.
265
00:12:19,645 --> 00:12:21,813
Come here, honey.
266
00:12:21,847 --> 00:12:23,848
I had no idea.
267
00:12:23,883 --> 00:12:26,417
Why the hell would you
do something like that?
268
00:12:28,387 --> 00:12:30,655
I can't believe I was seriously
thinking about sleeping with you!
269
00:12:34,593 --> 00:12:38,196
So why don't you just buy the car
back for this sweet baby girl?
270
00:12:38,230 --> 00:12:40,198
Oh, but we tried to,
but when Josh told him
271
00:12:40,232 --> 00:12:43,835
he was a millionaire, he just
tried to take advantage of us.
272
00:12:45,037 --> 00:12:48,072
Sounds like you need
someone he's not expecting.
273
00:12:48,107 --> 00:12:50,708
Someone who can pull
the wool over his eyes.
274
00:12:50,743 --> 00:12:52,944
A beautiful streetwise diva.
275
00:12:54,947 --> 00:12:57,448
All right, I'll do it.
276
00:12:58,517 --> 00:13:00,518
Okay, so you pretty much
saw everything,
277
00:13:00,553 --> 00:13:02,003
except for two
cars I got parked
278
00:13:02,004 --> 00:13:03,454
across the street
at the liquor store.
279
00:13:03,489 --> 00:13:05,356
Anything strike your fancy?
280
00:13:09,194 --> 00:13:11,429
Well, as sweet, broke newlyweds
281
00:13:11,463 --> 00:13:14,065
we're just trying to get
the best deal we can get.
282
00:13:14,099 --> 00:13:17,936
That's right. We're just a
couple of crazy heteros in love.
283
00:13:20,172 --> 00:13:22,707
Oh, honey!
284
00:13:22,741 --> 00:13:24,042
That one looks pretty.
285
00:13:24,076 --> 00:13:25,843
Oh no no no, you don't
want that one.
286
00:13:25,878 --> 00:13:28,746
The bumper is a pool noodle.
287
00:13:28,781 --> 00:13:30,615
I find it to be charming.
288
00:13:31,784 --> 00:13:34,886
Oh, this reminds me of the
car I drove in college.
289
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,755
I didn't think cars existed
when you were in college.
290
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,490
[Laughing]
291
00:13:42,394 --> 00:13:44,228
We kid like that.
292
00:13:44,263 --> 00:13:46,331
You know how
newly married couples do.
293
00:13:46,365 --> 00:13:48,333
Hmmm.
So newlyweds, huh?
294
00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:50,301
Where did you two lovebirds
honeymoon?
295
00:13:50,336 --> 00:13:51,970
- Paris.
- Las Vegas.
296
00:13:52,004 --> 00:13:54,806
We went to the
Paris hotel in Vegas.
297
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,391
Okay, I'm gonna go
out on a limb here and
298
00:13:56,392 --> 00:13:57,942
say I don't think
you two are a couple.
299
00:13:57,977 --> 00:13:59,978
We are... a couple
of people who can't
300
00:13:59,979 --> 00:14:01,980
keep their hands
off each other.
301
00:14:02,014 --> 00:14:03,781
[Gasps]
302
00:14:05,985 --> 00:14:08,686
Each touch is like
the first time.
303
00:14:11,457 --> 00:14:14,592
In fact, I think you two are
here on someone else's behalf.
304
00:14:14,627 --> 00:14:17,462
I don't know what
you're talking 'bout.
305
00:14:19,365 --> 00:14:22,066
Well okay, if you two
are so in love,
306
00:14:22,101 --> 00:14:24,035
why don't you
lay a kiss on her?
307
00:14:24,069 --> 00:14:25,269
- What?
- Wha-what... what?
308
00:14:25,304 --> 00:14:28,072
Hmm, one nice kiss...
309
00:14:28,107 --> 00:14:29,340
And the car is all yours.
310
00:14:32,344 --> 00:14:34,145
- Okay, boy.
- Here we go.
311
00:14:34,179 --> 00:14:35,813
You can do this.
312
00:14:37,182 --> 00:14:40,585
Denzel. Denzel.
Denzel.
313
00:14:40,619 --> 00:14:41,925
Gabi's just gonna have
to get over this car!
314
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:42,931
Thank God!
315
00:14:46,282 --> 00:14:48,183
Hey there, you got a second?
316
00:14:48,217 --> 00:14:49,734
That depends, you
got 30 grand and some
317
00:14:49,735 --> 00:14:51,252
more friends you
want to bring in?
318
00:14:52,455 --> 00:14:54,956
I know, I know. You can't
blame a girl for trying.
319
00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:58,226
Look, I brought you a box
of stuff for the next owner.
320
00:14:58,260 --> 00:15:01,362
Um, this is a list of hills
that she can't make it up.
321
00:15:05,968 --> 00:15:08,236
All right, whoa whoa, what are
you talking about? Next owner?
322
00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:10,838
I've been holding this car
waiting for you to come back.
323
00:15:10,873 --> 00:15:12,173
I know, I know.
324
00:15:12,207 --> 00:15:14,642
But now, you don't have to.
325
00:15:14,677 --> 00:15:16,194
Listen, I'm starting
to think this whole
326
00:15:16,195 --> 00:15:17,712
thing is really just
a sign from my mom.
327
00:15:17,746 --> 00:15:20,581
She's telling me that
it's time to let the car go.
328
00:15:20,616 --> 00:15:22,684
Why are you listening
to your momma?!
329
00:15:23,819 --> 00:15:26,287
You're a grown woman.
330
00:15:26,321 --> 00:15:28,489
Yes, I know, but I think
it's time to...
331
00:15:28,524 --> 00:15:32,326
Move on. So, will you please
just let the next owner know...
332
00:15:32,361 --> 00:15:35,296
[Loudly] That the parking brake
sticks and you have to kick it!
333
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,934
Sweetie, how about this?
Let's take one more look
334
00:15:39,968 --> 00:15:41,169
- before you make this rash decision.
- No no no!
335
00:15:41,203 --> 00:15:43,137
I can't, I can't!
Ahem.
336
00:15:43,172 --> 00:15:47,608
No, I can't. I can't
look at that great car
337
00:15:47,643 --> 00:15:50,778
with the steering wheel that
locks unless you jiggle it.
338
00:15:50,813 --> 00:15:53,548
But you have to be careful
because the horn works.
339
00:15:56,552 --> 00:15:59,487
You are hysterical. Do you
need me to call somebody?
340
00:15:59,521 --> 00:16:02,223
No, it's just all the memories.
341
00:16:02,257 --> 00:16:05,193
You know, it was just...
It was such a great car.
342
00:16:05,227 --> 00:16:07,295
And I really don't know
how I'm ever gonna...
343
00:16:07,329 --> 00:16:09,497
How I'm ever gonna move on.
[Fake sobs]
344
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,101
But I will.
Thank you.
345
00:16:15,270 --> 00:16:17,839
Hmm, I got her
right where I want her.
346
00:16:20,809 --> 00:16:22,844
Oh, I don't know
whether to be terrified
347
00:16:22,878 --> 00:16:25,913
or excited at how well
you guys just pulled that off!
348
00:16:25,948 --> 00:16:29,050
Whoo! If this wasn't a
felony, I'd do it every day.
349
00:16:29,084 --> 00:16:31,953
Uh, now might be
a bad time to ask,
350
00:16:31,987 --> 00:16:35,523
but does anyone else in this car
have two strikes against them?
351
00:16:36,525 --> 00:16:39,660
Oh, this spring
is very into asians.
352
00:16:39,695 --> 00:16:43,231
[Laughs] Wait 'til it
goes over a pothole.
353
00:16:43,265 --> 00:16:44,532
Oh oh oh!
354
00:16:44,566 --> 00:16:47,435
- Oh, you are so right.
- [Claps]
355
00:16:47,469 --> 00:16:49,103
Man, I'm so amped!
356
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:51,272
I feel like there's electricity
coursing through my veins.
357
00:16:51,306 --> 00:16:53,975
Ah, well, there might be. There's
a loose wire in the dash.
358
00:16:54,009 --> 00:16:56,177
- Yeah.
- [Engine banging, sputtering]
359
00:16:58,347 --> 00:17:00,181
- Uh-oh.
- Uh, Gabi?
360
00:17:00,215 --> 00:17:02,116
What do we do
when your car does this?
361
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:03,785
Get the hell out and run.
362
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,890
Are you putting on lipstick?!
363
00:17:08,924 --> 00:17:10,992
You're damn right.
Where there's smoke,
364
00:17:11,026 --> 00:17:12,827
there's firemen.
365
00:17:23,672 --> 00:17:26,307
I would like to thank
you all for coming
366
00:17:26,341 --> 00:17:28,609
to help me say goodbye
367
00:17:28,644 --> 00:17:31,412
to my beloved car.
368
00:17:31,446 --> 00:17:34,315
I'm grateful for all the years
that we had together,
369
00:17:34,349 --> 00:17:37,952
and that we all made it out alive
before she went up in a ball of fire.
370
00:17:39,288 --> 00:17:41,989
But she sure looked pretty
all lit up like that.
371
00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:47,628
So if you have any memories you would
like to share, now would be the time.
372
00:17:47,663 --> 00:17:49,564
I remember how you
pretended the rusted hole
373
00:17:49,598 --> 00:17:51,699
in your ceiling was a sunroof.
374
00:17:52,868 --> 00:17:54,669
I remember when
that homeless guy
375
00:17:54,736 --> 00:17:56,604
at the off-ramp
gave us money.
376
00:17:58,473 --> 00:18:01,242
I remember the time I was
bored at a car funeral.
377
00:18:01,276 --> 00:18:03,177
Sorry for your loss!
378
00:18:04,179 --> 00:18:05,546
Here, I made this for you.
379
00:18:05,581 --> 00:18:08,382
It's your window crank. I
turned it into an egg beater.
380
00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:11,085
Oh, cute.
381
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:14,088
And here's the hula girl you
used to keep on your dashboard.
382
00:18:14,122 --> 00:18:16,991
I swiped it before
everything caught fire.
383
00:18:18,927 --> 00:18:20,194
You guys all know
that that car was
384
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:21,929
the last connection
that I had to my mom
385
00:18:21,964 --> 00:18:23,998
and that's why I had such a
hard time letting her go.
386
00:18:24,032 --> 00:18:28,636
But I look around this room and I
start to realize what I do have:
387
00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:30,938
Somebody who will hold my
hand whenever I need it;
388
00:18:30,973 --> 00:18:33,674
somebody who will keep
me safe no matter what;
389
00:18:33,709 --> 00:18:36,444
a confidante who
always has my back;
390
00:18:36,478 --> 00:18:38,096
and somebody who tells
you like it is,
391
00:18:38,097 --> 00:18:39,714
no matter how much you
don't want to hear it.
392
00:18:41,450 --> 00:18:43,217
I think this is going on
a little long.
393
00:18:45,354 --> 00:18:47,521
You guys know that nothing
could ever replace my mom,
394
00:18:47,556 --> 00:18:49,257
but I'm starting
to think that...
395
00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:53,127
She gave me four people that
come pretty damn close.
396
00:18:53,161 --> 00:18:54,161
[Sniffles]
397
00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:57,999
Elliot, are you crying?
398
00:18:58,033 --> 00:19:00,835
No, it's just allergies.
399
00:19:02,104 --> 00:19:04,772
I'm allergic to squalor.
400
00:19:08,644 --> 00:19:11,779
Now, we have the traditional
car funeral food...
401
00:19:11,813 --> 00:19:13,848
Lots and lots of lemon pie.
402
00:19:16,051 --> 00:19:18,786
One for you, one for you.
403
00:19:20,689 --> 00:19:22,556
Girl, hand me a fork.
404
00:19:30,773 --> 00:19:32,407
Elliot, you okay?
405
00:19:33,442 --> 00:19:34,776
Yeah, I'm fine.
406
00:19:37,413 --> 00:19:38,379
Okay.
407
00:19:38,414 --> 00:19:39,547
It's just...
408
00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:41,649
What's the matter?
409
00:19:42,852 --> 00:19:44,652
Nothing.
410
00:19:44,687 --> 00:19:46,754
Hey, you can tell me.
411
00:19:48,791 --> 00:19:52,493
The HD-TV
my dad gave me as a child
412
00:19:52,528 --> 00:19:55,496
stopped working last night.
413
00:19:55,531 --> 00:19:57,632
And now it's gone.
414
00:19:57,666 --> 00:19:59,434
All 60 inches.
415
00:20:00,469 --> 00:20:01,469
[Gasps]
416
00:20:01,503 --> 00:20:04,939
Is that an electronics
catalogue right there?
417
00:20:07,084 --> 00:20:08,430
Elliot!
418
00:20:08,431 --> 00:20:12,728
Free shipping!
When you buy surround sound.
419
00:20:13,209 --> 00:20:14,410
It's a sign!
420
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,158
Not falling for it.
421
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,772
Sorry!
422
00:20:24,169 --> 00:20:27,362
- sync and corrections by Zac -
- www.addic7ed.com -
423
00:20:27,412 --> 00:20:31,962
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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