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1
00:00:02,684 --> 00:00:04,285
Hey!
2
00:00:04,319 --> 00:00:06,187
You know John from my office?
3
00:00:06,221 --> 00:00:07,521
The guy who built his own motorcycle?
4
00:00:07,556 --> 00:00:10,458
Oh, yeah. Is he out of the hospital yet?
5
00:00:10,492 --> 00:00:12,326
No. No.
6
00:00:12,361 --> 00:00:16,964
But his husband is the manager of the
Petting Zoo and he offered us a job.
7
00:00:17,032 --> 00:00:20,134
Okay, "A", I have a job.
And "B", I'm allergic to goats.
8
00:00:21,770 --> 00:00:24,572
So I'm gonna have to say, "nay-y-y".
9
00:00:24,606 --> 00:00:27,541
Well, "A", that's the sound a horse makes.
10
00:00:28,610 --> 00:00:31,379
And "B", the Petting Zoo is a cool new bar
11
00:00:31,413 --> 00:00:32,747
and they need shot girls
for Saturday nights.
12
00:00:32,781 --> 00:00:36,484
So all we have to do is wear cute
outfits and get guys to drink.
13
00:00:36,518 --> 00:00:40,221
Like we do on weekends
anyway, but now we'll get paid!
14
00:00:42,090 --> 00:00:43,924
I don't know. It sounds kind of sexist.
15
00:00:43,959 --> 00:00:45,192
I mean, why don't you just
throw us back to the '50s
16
00:00:45,227 --> 00:00:48,763
where women were stuck in the
kitchen slaving away for their men.
17
00:00:48,797 --> 00:00:50,131
- (Bell dings)
- Ooh, Josh's apple pie is done.
18
00:00:51,833 --> 00:00:54,068
So you're saying you don't want to do it?
19
00:00:54,102 --> 00:00:55,836
No, I told you it's degrading.
20
00:00:55,871 --> 00:00:57,538
Pay is 500 bucks each.
21
00:00:57,572 --> 00:00:58,773
Saturday, you say?
22
00:01:02,544 --> 00:01:04,278
Look at this one.
23
00:01:04,312 --> 00:01:06,313
It's black and huge.
24
00:01:09,317 --> 00:01:12,887
Wow, where would you
even put something so big?
25
00:01:15,957 --> 00:01:17,925
Oh. (Chuckles)
26
00:01:19,761 --> 00:01:21,862
I'd make room for that.
27
00:01:21,897 --> 00:01:24,932
Guys, put the bathtub catalog down.
28
00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:26,801
I've already picked
out the tub for upstairs
29
00:01:26,835 --> 00:01:29,637
and before you ask, no, you may not.
30
00:01:29,671 --> 00:01:31,639
It's a surprise for Caroline, she's
gonna be the first one to use it.
31
00:01:31,673 --> 00:01:34,408
Don't worry, Yolanda. You'll
be the first one to clean it.
32
00:01:37,679 --> 00:01:40,347
All right, Elliot, what's our
game plan for Cooper Finley?
33
00:01:40,382 --> 00:01:42,083
Oh, what's a Cooper Finley?
34
00:01:42,117 --> 00:01:44,118
Is it a car? Can I have one?
35
00:01:44,152 --> 00:01:45,152
'Cause mine's mostly duct tape.
36
00:01:46,354 --> 00:01:48,255
Cooper Finley is a hacker
37
00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:52,026
that broke into Josh's new app
and forced it offline for two days.
38
00:01:52,060 --> 00:01:53,761
I went offline for two days,
39
00:01:53,795 --> 00:01:55,863
but that's because my neighbors
changed their wi-fi password.
40
00:01:58,633 --> 00:01:59,700
What are you gonna do to him?
41
00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:02,403
He left me no choice, I'm gonna hire him.
42
00:02:02,437 --> 00:02:03,370
(Gasps)
43
00:02:03,405 --> 00:02:04,605
Oh, yeah, that'll show him.
44
00:02:05,674 --> 00:02:07,408
Force him to work with Elliot every day.
45
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:10,277
This kid is brilliant.
46
00:02:10,312 --> 00:02:13,047
He's only 23 years old and he
created this fuzzy logic data patch
47
00:02:13,081 --> 00:02:14,482
that I could develop
into software technology
48
00:02:14,516 --> 00:02:17,151
to piggyback off other signals creating
connections 10 times more stable.
49
00:02:20,755 --> 00:02:21,989
I made you a pie.
50
00:02:23,725 --> 00:02:27,761
I have to act fast. In six months, Yahoo
and Facebook will be all over this kid.
51
00:02:27,796 --> 00:02:30,631
So how do I impress a Maverick hacker?
52
00:02:30,665 --> 00:02:36,403
Well, just spitballing here,
but I'm thinking white limousine,
53
00:02:36,438 --> 00:02:38,639
bottle of bubbly, smooth jazz...
54
00:02:38,673 --> 00:02:43,244
And just as he signs the contract, a
single red rose falls from the moonroof.
55
00:02:43,278 --> 00:02:46,013
Yeah, I'm trying to sign
him not take him to prom.
56
00:02:51,052 --> 00:02:54,822
If you want my two cents, which
is all I have in my bank account,
57
00:02:54,856 --> 00:02:57,725
I'm thinking girls, booze...
58
00:02:57,759 --> 00:02:59,493
And?
59
00:02:59,528 --> 00:03:00,628
Oh, that's it. Girls and booze.
60
00:03:01,796 --> 00:03:03,797
Hey, why don't you guys
take him to the Petting Zoo?
61
00:03:03,865 --> 00:03:06,300
It's this hot new bar Sofia
and I are working on Saturday.
62
00:03:06,334 --> 00:03:07,301
Since when do you work at a bar?
63
00:03:07,335 --> 00:03:10,571
Since I found out parking tickets
triple when you don't pay them.
64
00:03:10,605 --> 00:03:14,074
Come, I'll get you guys on the V.I.P. List.
65
00:03:14,109 --> 00:03:16,243
Oh, please.
66
00:03:16,278 --> 00:03:19,313
You think a 23-year-old
computer genius
67
00:03:19,347 --> 00:03:22,249
is gonna work for you
because some half-naked girls
68
00:03:22,284 --> 00:03:24,185
shake their boobies in his face?
69
00:03:27,822 --> 00:03:30,858
Saturday, you say?
70
00:03:30,892 --> 00:03:32,860
(Theme music playing)
71
00:03:35,478 --> 00:03:38,628
Sync and corrected by thatjulio
www.addic7ed.com
72
00:03:38,963 --> 00:03:43,003
(Dance music playing)
73
00:03:43,038 --> 00:03:45,940
See? This isn't demeaning.
74
00:03:45,974 --> 00:03:47,875
Here's 50 bucks, keep 'em coming.
75
00:03:47,909 --> 00:03:50,044
(Gasps) More like de-mazing.
76
00:03:51,913 --> 00:03:52,980
Pretty cool place, huh?
77
00:03:53,014 --> 00:03:56,817
It was not easy getting us on the list.
78
00:03:56,851 --> 00:03:57,952
Really? Why?
79
00:03:57,986 --> 00:04:00,710
All you have to do is bypass
their firewall, hack their server,
80
00:04:00,711 --> 00:04:02,662
and put your name in the employee database.
81
00:04:03,024 --> 00:04:03,991
How'd you do it?
82
00:04:04,025 --> 00:04:06,160
I asked a girl I know.
83
00:04:06,194 --> 00:04:08,095
Hey, Gabi.
84
00:04:08,129 --> 00:04:11,699
Did someone koala my name?
85
00:04:11,733 --> 00:04:13,734
Gabi, this is Cooper. Cooper, Gabi.
86
00:04:13,768 --> 00:04:15,002
- She works for me.
- Hi.
87
00:04:15,036 --> 00:04:16,837
You have your own shot girl?
88
00:04:16,871 --> 00:04:18,872
Wow, you are rich.
89
00:04:18,907 --> 00:04:21,008
And you could be too.
90
00:04:21,042 --> 00:04:22,776
How'd you like to come work for me?
91
00:04:22,811 --> 00:04:25,045
What? Are you offering me a job?
92
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,815
Yeah, he thinks you're highly koala-fied.
93
00:04:27,849 --> 00:04:29,883
- (Laughing)
- Stop doing that.
94
00:04:29,918 --> 00:04:31,151
- You're funny.
- Keep doing that.
95
00:04:31,186 --> 00:04:34,021
Who wants some al-koala-hol?
96
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:39,827
What are you doing in there?
97
00:04:39,861 --> 00:04:41,028
Hey.
98
00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:43,063
Oh, the piggy's on a break.
99
00:04:43,098 --> 00:04:46,734
He went, "wee wee wee" all
the way to the bathroom.
100
00:04:48,136 --> 00:04:50,804
So, Coop, are you gonna
come work for me, or what?
101
00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:55,876
Normally I'd say I'd never go mainstream
and work for a rich, corporate sellout.
102
00:04:55,910 --> 00:04:58,746
But now I'm saying, hell to the yizz-ee.
103
00:04:58,780 --> 00:05:00,014
Yes!
104
00:05:00,048 --> 00:05:02,082
Aw, let's capture this moment.
105
00:05:03,785 --> 00:05:05,853
Oh, shoot, it's doing that thing again.
106
00:05:05,887 --> 00:05:07,955
Gabs, I told you to take
it to the genius bar.
107
00:05:07,989 --> 00:05:10,124
Well, lucky for you, we're in a bar
108
00:05:10,158 --> 00:05:12,159
and I'm a genius.
109
00:05:12,193 --> 00:05:13,894
I already tried, there's
nothing you can do.
110
00:05:13,928 --> 00:05:15,796
Well, maybe there's nothing you can do,
111
00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:19,733
but we both know that your
code isn't exactly elegant.
112
00:05:19,768 --> 00:05:23,137
My code is so elegant, it
summers in the south of France.
113
00:05:23,171 --> 00:05:27,741
Oh, is that the new vacation
spot for sub-standard programming?
114
00:05:27,776 --> 00:05:28,909
- All fixed.
- (Gasps)
115
00:05:28,943 --> 00:05:32,880
Wow, Josh, look. Cooper fixed my phone
and he set my home screen to a koala.
116
00:05:32,914 --> 00:05:34,548
Sub-standard?
117
00:05:34,582 --> 00:05:37,551
That's funny, "Wired" didn't mention that
when they did a cover story on me.
118
00:05:37,585 --> 00:05:39,386
Oh, "Wired"...
119
00:05:39,421 --> 00:05:42,289
That cutting-edge magazine that
still prints their copies on paper.
120
00:05:42,324 --> 00:05:43,524
Oh!
121
00:05:43,558 --> 00:05:46,327
- Shoot.
- I am so sorry.
122
00:05:46,361 --> 00:05:49,997
My hand-eye coordination
is severely compromised.
123
00:05:50,031 --> 00:05:53,167
But your hand-boob
coordination is dead on.
124
00:05:53,201 --> 00:05:55,135
Take it easy, dad.
125
00:05:55,170 --> 00:05:56,136
I'm just trying to help her.
126
00:05:56,171 --> 00:05:57,805
All right, Coop, come on, back off.
127
00:05:57,839 --> 00:05:58,939
No, what's your problem.
128
00:05:58,973 --> 00:06:00,007
Hey, hands off.
129
00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:01,642
Hands off me.
130
00:06:03,945 --> 00:06:05,479
Oh, my God.
131
00:06:05,513 --> 00:06:06,447
Cooper, are you okay?
132
00:06:06,481 --> 00:06:07,581
I'm fine.
133
00:06:09,384 --> 00:06:10,451
How do you feel?
134
00:06:10,485 --> 00:06:13,287
You just hit a smaller guy with glasses.
135
00:06:13,321 --> 00:06:14,455
And anemia.
136
00:06:19,690 --> 00:06:21,658
- (Pounding)
- (Groans)
137
00:06:21,692 --> 00:06:24,494
I'm so hungover I hear pounding.
138
00:06:24,528 --> 00:06:28,498
Relax, baby, we all hear it.
139
00:06:28,532 --> 00:06:29,766
It's the man working on your tub.
140
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,334
Oh.
141
00:06:31,369 --> 00:06:32,502
Hey, thanks for the iced tea.
142
00:06:32,536 --> 00:06:33,603
It's not for you.
143
00:06:35,206 --> 00:06:37,340
I'm working on the man working on your tub.
144
00:06:39,410 --> 00:06:40,477
(Clears throat)
145
00:06:40,511 --> 00:06:44,114
Hey, Josh, I made you my
patented hangover helper.
146
00:06:44,148 --> 00:06:46,883
Ugh, just looking at it makes me sick.
147
00:06:46,918 --> 00:06:48,118
Good, I'm starving.
148
00:06:50,755 --> 00:06:52,789
So in regards to what happened last night,
149
00:06:52,823 --> 00:06:56,660
Gabi made these cute "Star Wars"
apology treats for Cooper.
150
00:06:56,694 --> 00:06:58,795
Just something for him to Chewbacca on.
151
00:07:00,665 --> 00:07:04,367
All you have to do is sign this card,
and we can send it right over.
152
00:07:05,469 --> 00:07:08,238
"May the force and my apology be with you".
153
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,473
I'm not signing this.
154
00:07:10,508 --> 00:07:12,042
He was acting like a douche.
155
00:07:12,076 --> 00:07:13,143
A douchey genius.
156
00:07:13,177 --> 00:07:14,144
Look, I don't care how
much money's at stake.
157
00:07:14,178 --> 00:07:15,211
A billion dollars!
158
00:07:15,246 --> 00:07:16,913
- Isn't Gabi's honor worth...
- nothing!
159
00:07:21,852 --> 00:07:23,119
I can't believe Josh.
160
00:07:23,154 --> 00:07:26,056
Throwing a huge business deal over nothing.
161
00:07:26,090 --> 00:07:28,925
I could really use a soak.
162
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,560
Oh, no, you don't.
163
00:07:30,594 --> 00:07:34,497
Josh was very clear, no one is to
use this tub until Caroline gets back.
164
00:07:34,532 --> 00:07:36,666
Now let's get out of here before
one of us does something stupid.
165
00:07:37,668 --> 00:07:39,202
You first.
166
00:07:39,236 --> 00:07:40,170
No, you.
167
00:07:51,983 --> 00:07:54,017
Cooper, it's Gabi.
168
00:07:54,051 --> 00:07:56,786
Making a house koala. (Giggles)
169
00:07:58,889 --> 00:08:00,857
- Hi.
- Hi.
170
00:08:00,891 --> 00:08:02,692
How's your chin?
171
00:08:02,727 --> 00:08:04,661
I don't know, I don't
have health insurance.
172
00:08:04,695 --> 00:08:07,697
But Web M.D. says I
might have lyme disease.
173
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:10,367
What are you doing here?
174
00:08:10,401 --> 00:08:14,137
Oh, I'm delivering these
marshmallow treats from Josh.
175
00:08:14,171 --> 00:08:17,307
He had me shape them into little R2-D2S
to say he's sorry for empire striking you.
176
00:08:17,341 --> 00:08:18,942
(Chuckles) Back.
177
00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:20,343
They look great.
178
00:08:20,378 --> 00:08:23,146
I can't wait to be able to chew them.
179
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:24,914
- Wanna come in?
- Sure.
180
00:08:25,950 --> 00:08:27,717
Sorry it's such a mess.
181
00:08:27,752 --> 00:08:30,687
Listen, Josh wants to apologize for
that whole fist bump to the face thing
182
00:08:30,721 --> 00:08:31,921
and have you over for dinner tonight.
183
00:08:31,956 --> 00:08:32,922
Seriously?
184
00:08:32,957 --> 00:08:34,524
Yeah.
185
00:08:34,558 --> 00:08:35,725
Why, does it sound made
up? 'Cause it's not.
186
00:08:37,395 --> 00:08:41,297
Actually, I'm the one that
needs to apologize to you.
187
00:08:41,332 --> 00:08:44,267
I remember spilling something
and trying to clean it up
188
00:08:44,301 --> 00:08:45,435
and touching a part of you.
189
00:08:45,469 --> 00:08:47,170
Yeah, actually two parts.
190
00:08:47,204 --> 00:08:48,405
I'm really sorry.
191
00:08:48,439 --> 00:08:50,373
And I was thinking about it last night.
192
00:08:50,408 --> 00:08:54,110
I wanted to make it up to you,
and so I bought you something.
193
00:08:54,145 --> 00:08:56,212
Oh, you didn't have to get me anything.
194
00:08:56,247 --> 00:08:58,048
I got you a domain name.
195
00:08:58,082 --> 00:09:00,683
"Bon Gabetit".
196
00:09:00,718 --> 00:09:03,086
You're gonna need a website when
you're a famous chef someday.
197
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,724
Oh, my God, I have always
wanted my own dot com.
198
00:09:07,758 --> 00:09:08,892
That's so...
199
00:09:08,926 --> 00:09:11,728
wow, nobody has ever done
anything like that for me.
200
00:09:13,531 --> 00:09:15,231
Listen, uh, Cooper.
201
00:09:15,266 --> 00:09:16,666
You and I are really not that different.
202
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,401
Well, that's true.
203
00:09:18,436 --> 00:09:20,270
We are both carbon-based life-forms.
204
00:09:20,304 --> 00:09:21,271
(Laughs)
205
00:09:21,305 --> 00:09:22,372
Okay, maybe a little different.
206
00:09:24,075 --> 00:09:26,242
But you know, we're both living our dream.
207
00:09:26,277 --> 00:09:30,113
I wanna be the next Julia Child
and, uh... you wanna be the next...
208
00:09:30,147 --> 00:09:32,015
Computer visionary, Jean Bartik.
209
00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:33,049
- Yeah, him.
- Her.
210
00:09:33,084 --> 00:09:34,184
Her.
211
00:09:34,218 --> 00:09:37,987
The only difference is,
I'm already living my dream.
212
00:09:38,022 --> 00:09:40,523
I'm working for this great
guy who believes in me
213
00:09:40,558 --> 00:09:42,459
and the same guy believes in you too.
214
00:09:42,493 --> 00:09:44,694
So come over for dinner
tonight and let him apologize.
215
00:09:44,728 --> 00:09:47,464
'Cause, Cooper, I mean
this in the nicest way,
216
00:09:47,498 --> 00:09:48,731
but what else you got going on tonight?
217
00:09:52,236 --> 00:09:53,203
- Good point.
- Yeah.
218
00:09:57,408 --> 00:09:59,242
Oh, look who's finally up.
219
00:09:59,276 --> 00:10:01,211
You must be feeling better.
220
00:10:01,245 --> 00:10:02,846
I can't wait to eat.
221
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,114
I'm actually excited to hold food down.
222
00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:07,183
Good, because we're having company.
223
00:10:07,218 --> 00:10:09,085
- We are?
- (Doorbell rings)
224
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,921
Yes, and now would be a great time
225
00:10:11,956 --> 00:10:14,724
to tell you that it's
Cooper. Don't get mad.
226
00:10:14,758 --> 00:10:16,826
He's here to apologize for
what happened the other night
227
00:10:16,861 --> 00:10:21,631
and I'm sure you have a lot of questions,
but they can all be answered by... Cooper!
228
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,334
Hey, Gabi.
229
00:10:25,736 --> 00:10:27,303
Josh.
230
00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:32,041
I just want to say I
think it's very big of you
231
00:10:32,076 --> 00:10:34,210
to invite me over here
in person to apologize.
232
00:10:34,245 --> 00:10:36,246
Uh, I didn't invite you over here.
233
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,047
Who's hungry?
234
00:10:41,018 --> 00:10:42,752
You're not gonna apologize to me?
235
00:10:42,786 --> 00:10:43,853
Are you out of your mind?
236
00:10:43,888 --> 00:10:44,821
Probably.
237
00:10:44,855 --> 00:10:47,557
Due to the brain damage from
when you punched me in the face.
238
00:10:48,692 --> 00:10:49,792
Hey! Hey hey hey.
239
00:10:49,827 --> 00:10:54,731
Everyone's gonna feel a lot better
when they eat my delicious nachos!
240
00:10:57,234 --> 00:10:59,169
Ta-da!
241
00:10:59,203 --> 00:11:00,270
Nachos.
242
00:11:02,239 --> 00:11:03,339
This whole thing was a setup?
243
00:11:03,374 --> 00:11:05,208
(Sighs)
244
00:11:05,242 --> 00:11:06,976
Gabi, did you actually
think you can trick him
245
00:11:07,011 --> 00:11:08,311
into coming over here, not tell me,
246
00:11:08,345 --> 00:11:10,113
and that everything would
be okay because you made...
247
00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:11,848
Nachos?!
248
00:11:14,818 --> 00:11:15,985
A little bit.
249
00:11:17,588 --> 00:11:18,988
Guys, just apologize, okay?
250
00:11:19,023 --> 00:11:20,657
It's not that hard.
251
00:11:20,691 --> 00:11:21,658
Watch.
252
00:11:21,692 --> 00:11:24,594
Cooper, I'm sorry I tricked
you into coming to dinner.
253
00:11:24,628 --> 00:11:26,496
Josh, I'm sorry I dented
your hybrid corvette.
254
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:27,530
You what?!
255
00:11:27,565 --> 00:11:29,299
Let's just stay on track.
256
00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:33,403
Cooper, you got drunk and
you touched some stuff.
257
00:11:33,437 --> 00:11:36,039
Josh, you got drunk and
you punched some stuff.
258
00:11:37,374 --> 00:11:40,977
Look, Josh, I don't remember what was said,
259
00:11:41,011 --> 00:11:44,113
but obviously it was bad
enough for you to punch me.
260
00:11:45,716 --> 00:11:46,916
So for that, I'm sorry.
261
00:11:46,951 --> 00:11:48,952
That'll do. Josh?
262
00:11:50,621 --> 00:11:51,588
Apology accepted.
263
00:11:57,328 --> 00:11:59,462
I'm sorry I punched the
glasses off your face.
264
00:12:02,499 --> 00:12:04,334
Good enough.
265
00:12:04,368 --> 00:12:06,469
Okay, now for the good part... nachos.
266
00:12:08,172 --> 00:12:12,242
So, Josh, I was wondering is
that job offer still on the table?
267
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:15,878
Well...
268
00:12:15,913 --> 00:12:17,947
My gut told me to hire
you in the first place
269
00:12:18,015 --> 00:12:20,883
and I always go with
it, so the offer stands.
270
00:12:20,918 --> 00:12:21,985
- Really?
- Yeah.
271
00:12:22,019 --> 00:12:23,786
Yes!
272
00:12:23,821 --> 00:12:25,755
Oh, my God. My nachos are magic.
273
00:12:28,726 --> 00:12:29,892
Thanks for going with your gut, man.
274
00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:32,662
Hey, man, you gotta listen to
it. It will never steer you wrong.
275
00:12:32,696 --> 00:12:35,732
Well, I'm gonna take your
advice on that one, boss.
276
00:12:38,369 --> 00:12:39,535
Gabi, will you go out with me?
277
00:12:40,604 --> 00:12:43,239
(Scoffs)
278
00:12:43,274 --> 00:12:44,374
Wow, uh...
279
00:12:44,408 --> 00:12:49,245
Cooper, you're super cute and sweet,
but I'm kind of on the spot here.
280
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,880
(Chuckles)
281
00:12:50,914 --> 00:12:52,148
Let me help everybody out here.
282
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:57,820
I know Gabi, and I think
what she's trying to say is
283
00:12:57,855 --> 00:12:58,988
- no.
- Yes.
284
00:13:00,624 --> 00:13:01,624
- What?
- What?
285
00:13:05,295 --> 00:13:07,996
Would you mind taking those nachos
on the terrace, just for a minute?
286
00:13:08,031 --> 00:13:08,964
Sure.
287
00:13:12,535 --> 00:13:13,601
Okay.
288
00:13:13,636 --> 00:13:15,403
Why did you say I couldn't go out with him?
289
00:13:15,438 --> 00:13:17,439
I'm about to get in bed
with him on a business deal.
290
00:13:17,473 --> 00:13:19,541
If you actually get into bed with
him, this could be a disaster.
291
00:13:19,575 --> 00:13:22,077
Why are you being so negative?
292
00:13:22,111 --> 00:13:24,112
Because I remember this one time
when someone in this apartment
293
00:13:24,146 --> 00:13:25,280
slept with someone she
worked with in this apartment,
294
00:13:25,314 --> 00:13:27,048
and it was super awkward and it was us.
295
00:13:28,184 --> 00:13:30,185
Josh, that was so last month.
296
00:13:30,219 --> 00:13:31,186
Okay, what we had was totally diff...
297
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:32,153
(knocking)
298
00:13:32,188 --> 00:13:34,089
Can I get something to drink?
299
00:13:34,123 --> 00:13:35,857
Absolutely.
300
00:13:35,891 --> 00:13:38,526
It's just a first date, okay?
301
00:13:38,561 --> 00:13:41,463
He's kinda cute and kinda
funny and I kinda wanna say yes.
302
00:13:41,497 --> 00:13:42,731
Well, I'm kinda putting my foot down.
303
00:13:42,765 --> 00:13:45,433
Okay, I think you are being a little un...
304
00:13:45,501 --> 00:13:46,534
Here you go.
305
00:13:46,569 --> 00:13:48,536
Reasonable about this.
306
00:13:48,571 --> 00:13:49,637
The answer is no.
307
00:13:51,207 --> 00:13:52,307
Fine.
308
00:13:52,341 --> 00:13:53,475
I mean not fine.
309
00:13:53,509 --> 00:13:56,077
But you're my boss and
I have to respect that.
310
00:13:56,112 --> 00:13:57,345
So I will not go out with him.
311
00:13:57,380 --> 00:13:58,380
Thank you.
312
00:14:05,187 --> 00:14:06,888
Guys?
313
00:14:09,024 --> 00:14:10,859
Really cold out here.
314
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:16,865
Who made up this rule that you
can't date anybody you work with?
315
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:20,668
Uh, thousands of companies
all across the country.
316
00:14:20,703 --> 00:14:22,437
And how do you even know you like Cooper?
317
00:14:22,505 --> 00:14:24,472
- You just met him.
- I know, it's so weird.
318
00:14:24,507 --> 00:14:25,607
He was just this computer guy,
319
00:14:25,641 --> 00:14:28,643
but then all of a sudden
he was sweet and thoughtful
320
00:14:28,677 --> 00:14:32,514
and he bought me a domain. And now I
have this little feeling on the inside.
321
00:14:32,548 --> 00:14:35,183
Well, let me crush it for you.
322
00:14:35,217 --> 00:14:38,186
One hundred percent of your
relationships have failed.
323
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:41,790
I know, and I just wanted a
chance to let this one fail too.
324
00:14:41,824 --> 00:14:44,692
Okay, you clearly need to
get this out of your system.
325
00:14:44,727 --> 00:14:45,927
So...
326
00:14:45,961 --> 00:14:46,995
I got it.
327
00:14:47,029 --> 00:14:48,596
Go on a date with him
328
00:14:48,631 --> 00:14:50,632
and instead of, like,
being all fake and charming
329
00:14:50,666 --> 00:14:51,933
like most couples are at the beginning,
330
00:14:51,967 --> 00:14:53,802
tell each other all your worst qualities.
331
00:14:53,836 --> 00:14:54,769
(Gasps)
332
00:14:54,804 --> 00:14:57,572
Nothing kills a relationship like honesty.
333
00:14:58,641 --> 00:14:59,607
Oh, my God, that's brilliant.
334
00:14:59,642 --> 00:15:02,243
Once he gets to know the real me,
he'll just go running for the hills.
335
00:15:02,278 --> 00:15:03,411
Just like all the others.
336
00:15:03,446 --> 00:15:04,379
Nailed it.
337
00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:10,018
Okay, so we're here tonight
to get to know each other
338
00:15:10,052 --> 00:15:12,253
and find out that we
do not like each other.
339
00:15:12,288 --> 00:15:16,925
Okay, I understand quantum
physics, but this is confusing.
340
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:18,159
What if we do like each other?
341
00:15:18,194 --> 00:15:19,828
Oh, we won't.
342
00:15:19,862 --> 00:15:21,029
But on the off chance that we do.
343
00:15:21,063 --> 00:15:22,764
We'll deal with it later.
344
00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:24,699
So let's get this train wreck started.
345
00:15:24,733 --> 00:15:26,701
I will tell you something about
myself that you're gonna hate.
346
00:15:26,735 --> 00:15:27,902
Go for it.
347
00:15:27,937 --> 00:15:29,704
Um, okay, I talk a lot.
348
00:15:29,738 --> 00:15:31,473
I don't know, it's sort of a nervous habit.
349
00:15:31,507 --> 00:15:32,607
I've kind of done it
since I was a little girl.
350
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:33,675
I just kind of go on and on and on...
351
00:15:33,709 --> 00:15:36,211
No, I get it.
352
00:15:36,245 --> 00:15:38,112
But I have to say I think it's really cute.
353
00:15:38,147 --> 00:15:40,014
No, no, you're not supposed to like it.
354
00:15:40,049 --> 00:15:42,150
Okay, well how about I tell
you something horrible about me?
355
00:15:42,184 --> 00:15:43,985
- Okay, bring it.
- I can't remember the last time
356
00:15:44,019 --> 00:15:45,320
I washed these jeans. May never have.
357
00:15:47,089 --> 00:15:49,891
I lick the powder off donuts
and put them back in the box.
358
00:15:51,026 --> 00:15:52,026
I have a suit of armor.
359
00:15:53,696 --> 00:15:55,563
I have a fake Facebook
account where I'm a cat.
360
00:15:55,598 --> 00:15:58,766
I think there's a sixty percent
chance that we're living in the matrix.
361
00:15:58,801 --> 00:15:59,868
(Chuckles)
362
00:15:59,902 --> 00:16:01,736
Damn it, this is going really great.
363
00:16:01,770 --> 00:16:04,639
Um, okay, I gotta think
of something horrible.
364
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:06,341
Oh, ooh, yay!
365
00:16:06,375 --> 00:16:08,643
I'm so irresponsible, I
forgot to pay my electric bill.
366
00:16:11,347 --> 00:16:12,547
Can I tell you something?
367
00:16:12,581 --> 00:16:14,148
- Only if it's bad.
- It is.
368
00:16:16,051 --> 00:16:18,052
Now that I know all of these
horrible things about you,
369
00:16:18,087 --> 00:16:20,121
I like you even more.
370
00:16:21,223 --> 00:16:22,257
Crap.
371
00:16:29,064 --> 00:16:32,834
Why are you reading the
owner's manual for the new tub?
372
00:16:34,737 --> 00:16:36,671
So I know how to clean...
373
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:41,409
A combination of 14 pulsating, rotating
and directional adjustable jets.
374
00:16:44,580 --> 00:16:47,148
Keep walking, nothing to see here.
375
00:16:49,318 --> 00:16:50,351
Mm-hmm.
376
00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:52,320
(Doorbell rings)
377
00:16:55,324 --> 00:16:56,991
Hey, Coop, thanks for coming by.
378
00:16:57,026 --> 00:16:58,326
- Sure.
- I'm just about to go on my morning run.
379
00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,994
But I'll go get your contract for you.
380
00:17:00,029 --> 00:17:01,129
This is exciting.
381
00:17:01,163 --> 00:17:03,231
Wait wait, how... how
long you running for today?
382
00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:06,768
Today I'm gonna try for 10 miles.
383
00:17:06,802 --> 00:17:08,870
H-h-how... what's that in minutes?
384
00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:10,772
Oh, about 90 minutes.
385
00:17:10,806 --> 00:17:12,740
Damn, that's im... that's impressive.
386
00:17:16,545 --> 00:17:18,680
Hey, Cooper, we should probably talk...
387
00:17:18,714 --> 00:17:19,747
- I know.
- About something.
388
00:17:19,782 --> 00:17:22,317
Look, I really don't think it's
a good idea for us to go out.
389
00:17:22,351 --> 00:17:23,651
Oh, thank God. I totally agree.
390
00:17:23,686 --> 00:17:25,587
What? I thought you liked me.
391
00:17:25,621 --> 00:17:27,355
Like you?
392
00:17:27,389 --> 00:17:30,158
I hacked into the power company last
night and paid your electric bill.
393
00:17:30,192 --> 00:17:31,426
Yay.
394
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:35,129
But this job is a huge opportunity
and I just don't want to blow it.
395
00:17:35,164 --> 00:17:36,998
(Sighs) I get it, absolutely.
396
00:17:37,032 --> 00:17:38,066
It's the right thing to do.
397
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,033
Yeah.
398
00:17:39,068 --> 00:17:40,134
Friends?
399
00:17:40,169 --> 00:17:41,636
Friends.
400
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:45,773
Josh: Big mistake!
401
00:17:46,976 --> 00:17:48,676
I totally forgot your contract in my car.
402
00:17:48,711 --> 00:17:49,744
I'll go get it for you.
403
00:17:50,879 --> 00:17:52,814
(Door opens, shuts)
404
00:17:55,517 --> 00:17:58,586
It's approximately a two-minute elevator
ride from the penthouse to the garage.
405
00:17:58,621 --> 00:18:00,321
Why are you telling me this?
406
00:18:00,356 --> 00:18:01,322
Oh.
407
00:18:02,558 --> 00:18:04,325
Elliot: Josh, where are you?
408
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:05,460
Come on.
409
00:18:13,202 --> 00:18:14,836
Josh?
410
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:22,610
Yolanda, are you getting in that tub?
411
00:18:22,645 --> 00:18:24,579
Josh, what are you doing in your bathroom?
412
00:18:24,613 --> 00:18:26,814
What are you doing in my bathroom?
413
00:18:26,849 --> 00:18:29,584
There is a real good
reason why I'm in here.
414
00:18:29,618 --> 00:18:30,718
I was...
415
00:18:30,753 --> 00:18:32,487
About to clean it for Caroline.
416
00:18:32,521 --> 00:18:34,389
Why do you think it's filled
with scrubbing bubbles?
417
00:18:34,423 --> 00:18:36,190
So why are you in a robe?
418
00:18:36,225 --> 00:18:39,093
In case I fall in.
419
00:18:39,128 --> 00:18:40,294
Think.
420
00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:41,496
Well, I need you downstairs.
421
00:18:41,530 --> 00:18:43,965
Okay, fine.
422
00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:45,033
I'll be down in 45.
423
00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:46,067
Josh: Now!
424
00:18:50,239 --> 00:18:52,006
(Sighs)
425
00:18:52,041 --> 00:18:55,043
Okay, this is getting too complicated.
426
00:18:55,077 --> 00:18:56,911
There's only one thing that we can do.
427
00:18:56,945 --> 00:18:59,080
To keep dating and not tell Josh?
428
00:18:59,114 --> 00:19:00,648
You are a genius.
429
00:19:06,403 --> 00:19:09,371
Okay, Josh, have a safe trip.
430
00:19:09,406 --> 00:19:10,539
I'm leaving now.
431
00:19:10,574 --> 00:19:12,408
Bye-bye.
432
00:19:13,410 --> 00:19:14,577
And hello.
433
00:19:23,019 --> 00:19:25,221
Hey, Josh. Have a good flight.
434
00:19:25,255 --> 00:19:27,156
I'm leaving now.
435
00:19:27,190 --> 00:19:28,157
Night-night.
436
00:19:30,327 --> 00:19:34,830
Bathtub app, here we go.
437
00:19:35,899 --> 00:19:38,100
Music... on.
438
00:19:38,134 --> 00:19:41,270
Mood lighting... on.
439
00:19:41,304 --> 00:19:45,043
Water... hot. Hot, hot!
440
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:48,978
(Soft music playing)
441
00:20:02,859 --> 00:20:04,994
(Both screaming)
442
00:20:05,028 --> 00:20:07,897
Yolanda, what are you doing here?!
443
00:20:07,931 --> 00:20:09,131
What do you think I'm doing?!
444
00:20:09,165 --> 00:20:11,200
Well, you have to get out.
445
00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:12,935
Hell no.
446
00:20:12,969 --> 00:20:15,037
I was here first, you get out.
447
00:20:15,071 --> 00:20:16,906
Well, I'm not moving.
448
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:17,907
Neither am I.
449
00:20:23,346 --> 00:20:25,948
Are these vanilla bath salts?
450
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,184
Vanilla peach.
451
00:20:29,219 --> 00:20:31,253
Is that champagne?
452
00:20:35,707 --> 00:20:39,247
To never telling anyone about this.
453
00:20:39,248 --> 00:20:41,256
Cheers to that.
454
00:20:45,321 --> 00:20:46,840
Turn on the jets.
455
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,451
Sync and corrected by thatjulio
www.addic7ed.com
456
00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:55,051
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