All language subtitles for UnREAL s01e01 Return.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,436 --> 00:00:07,110 (Quinn): Okay, here we go. 2 00:00:07,142 --> 00:00:09,895 Opening night, "Everlasting", all right? 3 00:00:09,928 --> 00:00:11,720 Let's give 'em something that they want! 4 00:00:11,752 --> 00:00:14,057 Ponies! Princesses! 5 00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:15,278 Romance! Love. 6 00:00:15,309 --> 00:00:17,848 I don't know, it's all a bunch of crap, anyways. 7 00:00:17,881 --> 00:00:18,936 Let's go, people. 8 00:00:18,967 --> 00:00:21,489 - The girls are about to arrive. - Are you feeling nervous? 9 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,060 (British accent) I wouldn't say so, no. 10 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:24,816 - Excited, then? - Absolutely. 11 00:00:24,848 --> 00:00:25,617 - Good. - I'm ready. 12 00:00:25,648 --> 00:00:27,748 Well, that's good... because here they come. 13 00:00:43,551 --> 00:00:47,106 (Violin plays) 14 00:00:51,457 --> 00:00:52,340 - (Shamiqua): Hello, there. - Hi. 15 00:00:52,371 --> 00:00:53,459 I'm Shamiqua. 16 00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:54,528 - Shamiqua? - (Chuckling) Yeah. 17 00:00:54,559 --> 00:00:56,822 - Okay. There we go. I think I got it. - Cut! Cut! Cut! 18 00:00:56,854 --> 00:00:58,384 - (Man): That's a cut! That's a cut! - (Bell rings) 19 00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:00,905 Everybody, back to one, please! Let's hustle! 20 00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:01,887 Damn it! 21 00:01:01,923 --> 00:01:05,228 Shamiqua? That's your girl? 22 00:01:05,262 --> 00:01:07,536 That's the one who you said had wife potential? 23 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,980 - She's black. - She's gorgeous. 24 00:01:09,012 --> 00:01:10,359 She went to Spelman. 25 00:01:10,390 --> 00:01:11,829 Okay, you know what? 26 00:01:11,861 --> 00:01:14,075 First girl out of the carriage is always a wifey, 27 00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,044 and that is not a wifey. 28 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,685 There's a black man in the White House. 29 00:01:17,716 --> 00:01:19,861 Oh, thank you so much. I know, okay? 30 00:01:19,894 --> 00:01:21,444 And he's barely black, all right? 31 00:01:21,731 --> 00:01:24,455 It is not my fault that America's racist, people. 32 00:01:24,488 --> 00:01:26,610 Okay, Dan, let's go. Get a new girl out here. 33 00:01:26,642 --> 00:01:27,520 Hustle, hustle. 34 00:01:27,551 --> 00:01:29,165 - (Dan): Okay, got it. - Ugh! 35 00:01:29,197 --> 00:01:30,739 - Where's Limo Three? - (Jay): Haven't seen it. 36 00:01:30,771 --> 00:01:32,210 - Where's Limo Three? - I don't know. 37 00:01:32,241 --> 00:01:34,146 Nobody? "I don't know"? Limo Three. 38 00:01:34,179 --> 00:01:36,651 Um, you'd better be breaking the damn sound barrier, 39 00:01:36,683 --> 00:01:38,550 because we need you here right now. 40 00:01:39,272 --> 00:01:40,499 - Uh, Limo Three? - I can't even... 41 00:01:40,530 --> 00:01:41,161 Thank you. 42 00:01:41,192 --> 00:01:44,603 What part of "we are rolling" did you not understand? 43 00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:45,902 - Your costing our production - (Rachel): We're almost there. 44 00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:47,666 every second you're not here. 45 00:01:47,698 --> 00:01:48,672 You know, our flight was delayed. 46 00:01:48,703 --> 00:01:50,582 I can do a lot, Quinn, but I can't control the weather. 47 00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:52,168 Just get your ass in here now. 48 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:55,989 Hey, um, tiny girl, I really have to pee, here... 49 00:01:56,024 --> 00:01:57,361 like, bad. 50 00:01:57,392 --> 00:01:59,784 Yeah, I can't really control the weather, either, if you know what I mean. 51 00:01:59,817 --> 00:02:01,188 You know, I could actually go, as well. 52 00:02:01,219 --> 00:02:03,090 Okay, uh, well, ladies, we are just, um, 53 00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:03,993 a few minutes away, 54 00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,634 so do you want to know who the suitor is? 55 00:02:05,666 --> 00:02:06,837 - Oh... - Oh, my gosh! 56 00:02:06,868 --> 00:02:08,404 - Yeah. - Uh, yes? 57 00:02:08,436 --> 00:02:10,208 His name is Adam Cromwell. 58 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,091 He is the British heir to the Cromwell Hotel fortune. 59 00:02:13,124 --> 00:02:14,667 (All squealing): Oh, my gosh! 60 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,499 - What?! - Adam Cromwell?! 61 00:02:16,531 --> 00:02:17,848 Oh, my God! 62 00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:19,945 (Gasps) 63 00:02:19,977 --> 00:02:21,219 - That is absolutely... - Adam Cromwell? 64 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:22,729 - That's great. - Oh, my God. He's so yummy. 65 00:02:22,761 --> 00:02:24,308 - You guys... - Oh, my... 66 00:02:24,340 --> 00:02:25,274 - So? - Oh... 67 00:02:25,305 --> 00:02:27,966 - He's got real... - Oh, well... 68 00:02:30,176 --> 00:02:33,271 (Quinn): Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Listen to me. 69 00:02:33,304 --> 00:02:34,097 Wake him up. 70 00:02:34,128 --> 00:02:36,745 He looks like he'd rather be chewing cud than meeting hot girls. 71 00:02:36,778 --> 00:02:38,582 - Hold the roll. Hold the roll... - So, I just, uh... 72 00:02:38,614 --> 00:02:42,173 Um, producers want you to act a little bit more charming 73 00:02:42,207 --> 00:02:43,335 on the next take, so we're gonna roll again. 74 00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:44,322 - More charming? - Yeah. 75 00:02:44,353 --> 00:02:46,015 - Right. Okay. - Okay? 76 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:47,861 Oh, whatever. 77 00:02:47,892 --> 00:02:50,124 Just be a good meat puppet and do as I say. 78 00:02:50,157 --> 00:02:51,578 Uh, Limo Three just arrived. 79 00:02:51,610 --> 00:02:54,999 Oh, good. Okay, get in here right now, Three. 80 00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:56,406 All right, ladies, phones, now. 81 00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,526 You don't want to see me with no phone for eight weeks. 82 00:02:58,558 --> 00:02:59,996 Yeah, eight weeks if you're lucky. 83 00:03:00,028 --> 00:03:01,333 One night if you're not. 84 00:03:01,364 --> 00:03:03,311 - Okay, so eight weeks. - Wow. 85 00:03:03,343 --> 00:03:04,419 (Sighs) 86 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:05,252 Hey. 87 00:03:05,283 --> 00:03:07,631 - H-Hey, Rach, can we use the bathroom? - Ladies. 88 00:03:07,663 --> 00:03:10,149 Do not move from this limo until I tell you. 89 00:03:10,182 --> 00:03:11,079 - Thanks. - Uh... 90 00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:13,082 Rachel, what about the bathroom? 91 00:03:13,114 --> 00:03:14,720 Don't let them leave from this limo, okay? 92 00:03:14,752 --> 00:03:15,862 Copy that. 93 00:03:24,794 --> 00:03:26,453 You guys, get her when she's coming in, okay? 94 00:03:26,485 --> 00:03:28,007 Cover her coming out. 95 00:03:31,743 --> 00:03:33,165 Oh, crap. 96 00:03:36,952 --> 00:03:37,758 Is that...? 97 00:03:37,789 --> 00:03:39,874 Yep, your boyfriend's ex. 98 00:03:42,215 --> 00:03:44,608 What? What, you guys really need to be on Steadicam 99 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,746 this whole time, shooting me? 100 00:03:45,777 --> 00:03:46,964 (Laughs) 101 00:03:46,995 --> 00:03:48,030 This is ridiculous. 102 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,068 Welcome back to reality, Rachel. 103 00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:52,188 Rachel's the mystery freelancer? 104 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:53,286 - (Jay laughs) - Surprise. 105 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:55,356 Unbelievable. 106 00:03:55,394 --> 00:03:58,066 Yeah. Be afraid, okay? 107 00:03:58,099 --> 00:03:59,321 Crazy's back. 108 00:03:59,352 --> 00:04:01,040 Don't everybody rush to hug me at one time. 109 00:04:01,072 --> 00:04:02,072 I'm... 110 00:04:05,391 --> 00:04:07,148 Shit. 111 00:04:07,813 --> 00:04:11,674 == sync & corrections by Wolfen == == www.addic7ed.com == 112 00:04:21,598 --> 00:04:23,136 Here we go. 113 00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:24,163 Ahh. 114 00:04:24,989 --> 00:04:26,922 It's about to get interesting. 115 00:04:28,046 --> 00:04:30,890 Oh, yeah! (Jay): Yay, welcome back, Rachel. 116 00:04:30,923 --> 00:04:31,693 (Clapping) 117 00:04:31,724 --> 00:04:32,867 Nice with the cameras. That was nice. 118 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,772 Oh, my pleasure, my pleasure. 119 00:04:34,804 --> 00:04:38,278 My, my, my, look what the cat dragged home. 120 00:04:38,527 --> 00:04:40,461 I thought... I mean, weren't you... 121 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:41,843 On probation? 122 00:04:41,875 --> 00:04:43,868 Yeah, and I'm doing community service. 123 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,307 I'm still waiting on the, uh, trial 124 00:04:45,339 --> 00:04:46,737 for the civil charges, though. 125 00:04:46,768 --> 00:04:50,384 And, um, and you did the pickups on the last of my girls? 126 00:04:50,988 --> 00:04:51,848 Nobody told me they were your... 127 00:04:51,879 --> 00:04:54,502 Y-Yeah, they're not Shia's. They're yours, okay? 128 00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:55,438 - (Pounds table) - Here you go. 129 00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,370 And, Shia, you have other girls. 130 00:04:57,402 --> 00:04:58,891 Yeah, but she gets the best ones? 131 00:04:58,922 --> 00:04:59,859 At least two stayers. 132 00:04:59,891 --> 00:05:01,663 Who you couldn't close. 133 00:05:01,695 --> 00:05:04,122 I had Rachel fly out and convince the lawyer 134 00:05:04,154 --> 00:05:05,984 and the MILF to sign their contracts. 135 00:05:06,016 --> 00:05:07,579 So tonight, I want you floating, 136 00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,261 and maybe you can turn one of your dogs 137 00:05:09,293 --> 00:05:10,828 into a dark horse, okay? 138 00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,356 All right, I need the girls from Limo Three now, please. 139 00:05:13,388 --> 00:05:15,240 Quinn, can you come down here, please? 140 00:05:15,272 --> 00:05:17,165 We have kind of a situation. 141 00:05:17,654 --> 00:05:19,288 - (Sighs) - Crap. 142 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,726 All right, I'm on my way, and I'm pissed. 143 00:05:22,265 --> 00:05:25,491 (Hoarsely) Uh, we got a situation. 144 00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:27,735 (Laughter) 145 00:05:27,767 --> 00:05:29,473 I really have to pee. Do you guys have to go? 146 00:05:29,505 --> 00:05:31,641 - I've had to since the airport. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 147 00:05:31,673 --> 00:05:33,353 Yeah. I know, they haven't let us out at all. 148 00:05:33,385 --> 00:05:34,997 - Are you okay? - How you doing? 149 00:05:35,029 --> 00:05:35,816 - I'm good. - Good. 150 00:05:35,847 --> 00:05:36,678 Yeah, I mean, you know, 151 00:05:36,709 --> 00:05:37,874 it's a little bit surreal being back, but... 152 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,408 Too close! Yeah, but what? 153 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,745 You're ready to get out there. 154 00:05:40,776 --> 00:05:41,906 - I think so. I... - Okay. 155 00:05:41,938 --> 00:05:43,039 You know, Quinn, I just... 156 00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:44,608 my therapist says that I can't really travel 157 00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:45,706 any more than I already have. 158 00:05:45,737 --> 00:05:47,008 I mean, I have to keep a schedule, 159 00:05:47,039 --> 00:05:48,479 - make my appointments. - Yeah, okay, fine. 160 00:05:48,511 --> 00:05:49,601 - You know, I'm seri... - Okay, travel. No travel. 161 00:05:49,632 --> 00:05:51,710 Whatever. Uh, where's Ricardo?! 162 00:05:51,742 --> 00:05:53,200 Hello?! Nobody?! 163 00:05:53,232 --> 00:05:54,248 All right, listen! 164 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:57,206 I need 10 times more pillar candles, people! 165 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:58,434 10 times! 166 00:05:59,217 --> 00:05:59,922 Wow. 167 00:05:59,953 --> 00:06:01,896 They're all looking at me like, "huh?" 168 00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,545 You know, Quinn, I also really want to thank you. 169 00:06:03,576 --> 00:06:05,447 Move! Don't thank me, all right? 170 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:06,999 Just repay me. You owe me big-time 171 00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:08,237 after the mess you made. 172 00:06:08,269 --> 00:06:09,232 Okay, everybody, hold the work. 173 00:06:09,263 --> 00:06:10,914 We're gonna try this crane now, please. 174 00:06:10,946 --> 00:06:13,248 I can not believe that I have to ask this again, 175 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,710 but where is Limo Three? 176 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,083 We are holding on that. 177 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,930 The thing is Adam... We can't find him. 178 00:06:19,342 --> 00:06:20,196 What? 179 00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:21,681 - Yeah. - Ugh. 180 00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:24,081 - Chet's here. - Oh, great. 181 00:06:24,113 --> 00:06:25,722 Just... everybody act like everything's fine. 182 00:06:25,754 --> 00:06:29,658 Yep. Chet Wilton, creator of "Everlasting," big kahuna. 183 00:06:29,747 --> 00:06:31,826 Don't worry, Lizzie. Come here. Give me a kiss. 184 00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:33,707 - Mmm. - (Chuckles) 185 00:06:33,739 --> 00:06:34,811 I hear we have a situation. 186 00:06:34,842 --> 00:06:36,607 I didn't know you were here. 187 00:06:36,639 --> 00:06:38,831 Oh, I'm hanging out with my homeys in the grip truck. 188 00:06:38,863 --> 00:06:40,313 Where's my royalty? 189 00:06:40,499 --> 00:06:42,683 Um, maybe you'd like to answer that? 190 00:06:42,716 --> 00:06:44,438 Just watch. It's fine. 191 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,062 Yeah? Okay. 192 00:06:46,093 --> 00:06:47,010 - Hi. - Hey. 193 00:06:47,041 --> 00:06:49,642 - Uh, we stopped rolling. - Right. 194 00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:51,725 I took my eyes off him for a minute, and... 195 00:06:51,757 --> 00:06:53,484 uh, we lost him. 196 00:06:55,254 --> 00:06:56,075 Who are you? 197 00:06:56,106 --> 00:06:57,644 Dan... uh, first A.D. 198 00:06:57,676 --> 00:06:59,264 We've worked together for four years. 199 00:06:59,296 --> 00:07:01,046 All right. Who are you? 200 00:07:01,318 --> 00:07:03,100 - Uh, S-Sam, second A.D. - This is Sam. 201 00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:05,243 Sam. Sam, you're now the first A.D. 202 00:07:05,275 --> 00:07:06,574 You're now fired. 203 00:07:07,112 --> 00:07:07,807 - Okay? - (Sighs) 204 00:07:07,838 --> 00:07:09,580 - I need you to get your crap and get out. - Okay. 205 00:07:09,612 --> 00:07:11,847 - Chet, I... - No, no, no. It's not a conversation. 206 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,744 I need you to get off of my set, 207 00:07:13,776 --> 00:07:15,231 or you're not gonna be able to get a job in this town 208 00:07:15,262 --> 00:07:16,567 as anything but a crack whore... 209 00:07:16,599 --> 00:07:17,520 assistant crack whore. 210 00:07:17,551 --> 00:07:18,767 - An assistant crack whore. - Uh, Chet, Chet. 211 00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:20,889 - Chet, uh, could you come here, please? - Yeah. 212 00:07:20,921 --> 00:07:22,440 Um, you can't just walk in here 213 00:07:22,472 --> 00:07:24,199 and replace my experienced A.D. 214 00:07:24,231 --> 00:07:25,836 - with some kid. - Hey, relax, Quinn. 215 00:07:25,868 --> 00:07:26,817 You got this. 216 00:07:26,848 --> 00:07:27,802 - No, no, no, no, no. - (Chuckles) 217 00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,122 Unlike some people, 218 00:07:29,154 --> 00:07:31,298 I don't own a billion-dollar franchise. 219 00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:33,006 I have to work for a living, all right? 220 00:07:33,038 --> 00:07:34,455 I'm going to get fired. 221 00:07:34,486 --> 00:07:35,212 You're not gonna get fired. 222 00:07:35,243 --> 00:07:37,694 - I'm not gonna let that happen to you. - I am serious. 223 00:07:37,727 --> 00:07:39,749 No Adam, no show. 224 00:07:39,781 --> 00:07:41,869 Even you can't bail me out of this. 225 00:07:41,902 --> 00:07:43,102 - Rachel! - Yes? 226 00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:44,726 - Go find him. - Who? Adam? 227 00:07:44,758 --> 00:07:46,280 I, um, I've never e... 228 00:07:46,311 --> 00:07:47,459 I don't even know... I've never met him. 229 00:07:47,498 --> 00:07:49,152 - You're gonna let this one handle it? - Yes. 230 00:07:49,184 --> 00:07:51,134 She's the best, don't you think? 231 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,243 - Hey. - Hey. 232 00:07:52,274 --> 00:07:53,607 Welcome back, little weirdo. 233 00:07:53,638 --> 00:07:55,020 - (Sighs) - You're very lucky 234 00:07:55,052 --> 00:07:56,168 that your little stunt 235 00:07:56,199 --> 00:07:57,837 got me booyah ratings last season. 236 00:07:57,869 --> 00:08:01,176 Yeah, that was, uh, that was lucky, yeah. 237 00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:02,607 - Yes. - Mm-hmm. 238 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:05,864 You know what? 239 00:08:05,895 --> 00:08:08,255 You're not hot enough to be crazy, 240 00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:12,227 so I need you to keep your brains together, okay? 241 00:08:12,516 --> 00:08:14,857 You, in your office, now. 242 00:08:15,197 --> 00:08:16,438 Okay. 243 00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:18,301 Uh, listen, stay on walkie, 244 00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:20,384 - and let me know when you find him. - Okay. 245 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,836 Also, he wouldn't sign his contract. 246 00:08:23,519 --> 00:08:24,851 What? Quinn! 247 00:08:25,450 --> 00:08:28,357 Quinn, you shot footage on him without a signed contract? 248 00:08:28,391 --> 00:08:30,488 He said he wanted to show it to his lawyers in London, 249 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:31,637 or some nonsense, all right? 250 00:08:31,674 --> 00:08:32,955 What was I supposed to do? 251 00:08:32,987 --> 00:08:35,012 We have seven and a half hours before sunrise, 252 00:08:35,044 --> 00:08:37,593 can only shoot in hard night, and I need a frickin' show! 253 00:08:37,626 --> 00:08:39,031 That's great! So d... So I... So I... 254 00:08:39,062 --> 00:08:40,235 What, I have no leverage? 255 00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:43,622 Oh, just make something up. 256 00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:45,488 Do your job. 257 00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:48,160 You do not want to piss me off on your first day back, okay? 258 00:08:48,192 --> 00:08:50,849 Just go get our show pony, now! 259 00:08:51,471 --> 00:08:52,503 Damn it. 260 00:08:55,942 --> 00:08:59,293 - (Footsteps approach) - (Rachel panting) 261 00:08:59,327 --> 00:09:01,299 Adam. Hi. 262 00:09:02,117 --> 00:09:03,367 Hi. I'm Rachel. 263 00:09:03,398 --> 00:09:04,794 - Listen, I, um... - No, look. 264 00:09:04,826 --> 00:09:06,129 I've got a friend coming to pick me up, 265 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,348 - and I'm not changing my mind. - Okay. 266 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,819 Ugh. 267 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,540 Oh, my ass is just on the line with my boss. 268 00:09:12,573 --> 00:09:14,812 With Quinn? No kidding. 269 00:09:15,144 --> 00:09:16,137 That lady's a piece of work. 270 00:09:16,168 --> 00:09:18,681 (Laughing): Yeah. You have no idea. 271 00:09:18,764 --> 00:09:20,569 Ugh. 272 00:09:22,569 --> 00:09:24,575 Well, do you think I could just spend 10 minutes up here 273 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:27,557 while I figure out what to do when I get fired? 274 00:09:28,516 --> 00:09:30,666 10 minutes... in silence, though. 275 00:09:34,478 --> 00:09:36,962 Open the other one. It's hot as balls in here. 276 00:09:36,995 --> 00:09:38,788 Hey, uh, can I have a word? 277 00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:40,926 - Ugh, go, go, go. Quick. Come on. - Y... I... Look. 278 00:09:40,958 --> 00:09:41,958 - Spit it out. Let's go. - I think it's great that you got 279 00:09:41,989 --> 00:09:42,920 Rachel back, really. 280 00:09:42,952 --> 00:09:44,331 - Ugh. - I guess I'm just confused. 281 00:09:44,362 --> 00:09:45,187 I mean, did I do something wrong? 282 00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,340 - You gave all my best girls to Rachel. - Rachel gets the best sound bites, 283 00:09:47,372 --> 00:09:50,529 and she has killer instincts for drama. 284 00:09:50,729 --> 00:09:51,917 - Did you hear from her? - No. 285 00:09:51,948 --> 00:09:53,922 Okay, it's just that after she bombed out, 286 00:09:53,974 --> 00:09:55,374 I cleaned up her mess. 287 00:09:55,405 --> 00:09:57,584 I know, but the thing is, Shia, 288 00:09:57,617 --> 00:10:00,751 people trust her, and they like her. 289 00:10:01,104 --> 00:10:02,907 That stuff can't really be taught. 290 00:10:03,012 --> 00:10:05,262 (Chet): Chet to Quinn. I'm waiting. 291 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:06,933 Crap! 292 00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:08,241 - Okay. - (Clears throat) 293 00:10:08,272 --> 00:10:09,522 I'm coming! 294 00:10:10,691 --> 00:10:13,245 Who gave Chet a walkie?! 295 00:10:13,832 --> 00:10:16,314 (Crickets chirping) 296 00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:18,923 - Just out of curiosity... - Quiet. 297 00:10:22,034 --> 00:10:23,589 I'm sorry, what was so offensive 298 00:10:23,621 --> 00:10:26,489 to your refined sensibilities that you needed to flee? 299 00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:28,010 Did you see that circus? 300 00:10:28,326 --> 00:10:31,065 How about the way they introduced those horrible girls? 301 00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:32,591 Not to mention the fact that Quinn wants to shoot me 302 00:10:32,623 --> 00:10:33,695 with my shirt off, 303 00:10:33,726 --> 00:10:35,931 riding a horse down the beach, shouting, 304 00:10:35,964 --> 00:10:38,081 (American accent): "I'm gonna meet my wife tonight!" 305 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,090 And? 306 00:10:40,553 --> 00:10:42,893 - You've seen the show, right? - (British accent): Barely. 307 00:10:42,925 --> 00:10:43,711 Quinn promised me that this season 308 00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:44,721 was gonna be different, though. 309 00:10:44,752 --> 00:10:47,286 (Laughing) Oh. Okay. 310 00:10:47,424 --> 00:10:48,629 I mean, you don't seem naive, 311 00:10:48,661 --> 00:10:51,033 but I guess, with that whole Napa thing... 312 00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:52,186 Napa? 313 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,190 Napa, I was... (Sighs) 314 00:10:54,222 --> 00:10:56,311 I was trying to open a new hotel, and... 315 00:10:56,343 --> 00:10:58,092 my own, without my father. 316 00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,980 Royal hottie drops trou with three... 317 00:11:00,012 --> 00:11:01,994 or, I'm sorry, was it four hookers? 318 00:11:02,026 --> 00:11:02,868 And then tweets a selfie? 319 00:11:02,899 --> 00:11:03,984 Screw you. I don't know you. 320 00:11:04,016 --> 00:11:07,395 I know you... or at least I know your agenda. 321 00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,501 You don't need a matchmaker. 322 00:11:10,407 --> 00:11:12,018 You need damage control. 323 00:11:12,394 --> 00:11:14,216 Nobody's gonna bet money on your hotel 324 00:11:14,248 --> 00:11:16,164 until you rehab your image. 325 00:11:16,196 --> 00:11:17,881 A couple of weeks on the cover of Us Weekly... 326 00:11:17,913 --> 00:11:19,418 that's gonna do the trick. 327 00:11:20,825 --> 00:11:23,134 - Who's on channel three? - (Chet): Okay. 328 00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:24,523 - Hello?! - (Chet): Okay. 329 00:11:24,797 --> 00:11:25,904 (Chet panting): Calm down. 330 00:11:26,168 --> 00:11:28,775 I hate it when Rachel goes off walkie. 331 00:11:28,808 --> 00:11:29,585 I know the job. 332 00:11:29,616 --> 00:11:31,615 You know, I'm trying to get you to relax a little bit. 333 00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,402 Okay. You got this. You got this. 334 00:11:33,434 --> 00:11:34,601 You'll get it. You'll figure it out. 335 00:11:34,632 --> 00:11:36,182 - You're my little queen. - I know. 336 00:11:36,214 --> 00:11:37,673 (Moaning): Oh, God. 337 00:11:37,705 --> 00:11:39,299 So cut the crap. 338 00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:41,022 What's it gonna take for you to sign the contract, 339 00:11:41,054 --> 00:11:42,320 straight-up? 340 00:11:42,841 --> 00:11:44,158 (Sighs) 341 00:11:44,190 --> 00:11:45,627 Well, um... 342 00:11:46,114 --> 00:11:47,736 I'd have to think about it. 343 00:11:47,768 --> 00:11:48,867 (Scoffs) Okay. 344 00:11:48,898 --> 00:11:50,336 It's just not gonna work. 345 00:11:50,368 --> 00:11:53,642 Uh, we have a backup guy. 346 00:11:54,248 --> 00:11:56,109 There's a backup guy? 347 00:11:56,786 --> 00:11:59,613 Yeah, some, uh, Doctors Without Borders guy 348 00:11:59,646 --> 00:12:01,200 who found a cure for malaria or something. 349 00:12:01,231 --> 00:12:02,129 Oh, wow. 350 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,836 Malaria... that's... that's one of my causes. 351 00:12:03,868 --> 00:12:05,539 I would... I would love to meet him. 352 00:12:05,571 --> 00:12:06,726 Awesome. Cool. 353 00:12:06,758 --> 00:12:09,219 Yeah, he'll, uh, be in makeup in about 10 minutes. 354 00:12:09,251 --> 00:12:10,629 Cheers. 355 00:12:10,661 --> 00:12:11,966 - (Knocking on window) - (Muffled): We all have to pee! 356 00:12:11,997 --> 00:12:13,126 Yeah. Excuse me. 357 00:12:13,158 --> 00:12:14,510 Please, let us out. 358 00:12:14,541 --> 00:12:17,300 Hi. Dorothy, this is really important. 359 00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:18,455 We have to pee. 360 00:12:18,486 --> 00:12:20,221 I know. I'm so sorry. I... 361 00:12:20,253 --> 00:12:21,857 - Okay, well, you know what? - Oh! 362 00:12:21,889 --> 00:12:23,778 We'll be really fast, I promise. 363 00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:25,360 Oh, my God. 364 00:12:25,392 --> 00:12:27,016 (All panting) 365 00:12:27,048 --> 00:12:29,117 Ay-yi-yi! 366 00:12:29,537 --> 00:12:31,682 - Okay. - Oh, God. 367 00:12:31,714 --> 00:12:33,476 God, I'm gonna piss my myself 368 00:12:33,508 --> 00:12:35,780 - I needed this! - (Panting) 369 00:12:37,622 --> 00:12:38,721 (Moans) 370 00:12:38,753 --> 00:12:40,130 Oh, my God! 371 00:12:40,161 --> 00:12:41,047 Whoa. 372 00:12:41,078 --> 00:12:43,513 Are rodeo girls, like, not allowed to wax, 373 00:12:43,546 --> 00:12:45,824 - or something? - Come on, be nice. 374 00:12:45,856 --> 00:12:47,961 That's not a bush, that's a freakin' shrub! 375 00:12:48,461 --> 00:12:50,000 Okay, come on. 376 00:12:50,032 --> 00:12:51,637 I think I have a razor in the car. 377 00:12:51,669 --> 00:12:52,757 Do you want it? 378 00:12:52,788 --> 00:12:54,343 Come on, be nice. 379 00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:56,146 - Please, just get back in the car, please. - I am being nice. 380 00:12:56,178 --> 00:12:58,262 I'm trying to help her out. 381 00:12:58,383 --> 00:12:59,765 (Laughs) 382 00:13:00,203 --> 00:13:01,291 (Man): Here you go. (Man #2): Mike check! 383 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,534 Thanks. 384 00:13:04,060 --> 00:13:04,865 Rachel. 385 00:13:04,896 --> 00:13:06,034 Hey. Hi. 386 00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:07,500 What the hell are you thinking, coming back here? 387 00:13:07,531 --> 00:13:09,849 Sorry. Yeah, I'm... Jeremy, I'm sorry that I, um... 388 00:13:09,882 --> 00:13:12,297 Oh, that you disappeared without saying a word? 389 00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:13,100 Yeah. Um... 390 00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:13,921 (Quinn): Uh, Rachel. 391 00:13:13,952 --> 00:13:15,107 - (Quinn): Where the hell are you? - You know, I got to... 392 00:13:15,139 --> 00:13:16,367 - I have to go, because... - Yeah, I know. 393 00:13:16,398 --> 00:13:17,730 - Uh, same walkie channel. - She's making... Okay. 394 00:13:17,762 --> 00:13:19,857 But, Rachel, seriously, what the hell? I called, like, a lot. 395 00:13:19,889 --> 00:13:20,778 Yeah, I just... I didn't... 396 00:13:20,809 --> 00:13:22,279 I didn't have my phone. I-I didn't. 397 00:13:22,311 --> 00:13:23,605 You shower with your phone in a Ziploc bag. 398 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,289 Okay, Jeremy. 399 00:13:26,008 --> 00:13:28,289 We weren't supposed to get stuck in Mexico, okay? 400 00:13:28,321 --> 00:13:30,779 And I was, um, profoundly exhausted, 401 00:13:30,812 --> 00:13:32,573 and I was sunburned, and I... 402 00:13:32,605 --> 00:13:34,860 - bathing in white wine by the end of it. - Hold it. Wait. Did you... 403 00:13:34,892 --> 00:13:36,661 Did you just use being sunburned as... 404 00:13:36,693 --> 00:13:38,968 as an excuse for not... 405 00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:40,790 - (Chuckling) - That's unbelievable. 406 00:13:40,822 --> 00:13:42,097 Yeah. 407 00:13:42,793 --> 00:13:44,931 Okay, obviously, we have to work together, 408 00:13:44,963 --> 00:13:48,186 so just...stay away from me when we're not... 409 00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:49,115 Yeah. Okay. 410 00:13:49,146 --> 00:13:53,141 I mean, you know, I'm not traveling, so... 411 00:13:53,797 --> 00:13:54,686 Good. 412 00:13:54,717 --> 00:13:56,370 Yep. Okay. 413 00:14:00,563 --> 00:14:03,002 Oh, I saw that you and Lizzie got back together, right? 414 00:14:03,034 --> 00:14:04,615 And, what, did you, like, get her a job 415 00:14:04,647 --> 00:14:06,184 on the show, or...? 416 00:14:06,607 --> 00:14:09,999 Yeah. I mean, she's been trying to leave the salon forever, so... 417 00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:13,367 That's so cute, having your girlfriend at work! 418 00:14:13,401 --> 00:14:14,343 - The trailer... - It's fianc?e. 419 00:14:14,374 --> 00:14:15,975 Wait, what? 420 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,013 She's my fianc?e. 421 00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:21,837 - I called, Rach. - Yeah. 422 00:14:22,677 --> 00:14:24,878 (Quinn): Rachel! Pool! Now! 423 00:14:25,330 --> 00:14:27,063 Flying in. 424 00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:35,007 There is no backup malaria doctor, 425 00:14:35,038 --> 00:14:36,262 - is there? - Try me. 426 00:14:36,294 --> 00:14:37,617 (Quinn): Rachel, what the hell is happening? 427 00:14:37,648 --> 00:14:39,053 - Every minute we're not shooting... - Can you calm down. 428 00:14:39,085 --> 00:14:40,373 Please, okay? 429 00:14:40,404 --> 00:14:42,443 I told him about the backup guy. 430 00:14:42,476 --> 00:14:45,310 What backup guy? We don't have a back... 431 00:14:45,936 --> 00:14:47,237 (Laughs) 432 00:14:47,269 --> 00:14:48,268 Nice. 433 00:14:48,704 --> 00:14:50,471 Do you think he bought it? 434 00:14:50,503 --> 00:14:52,881 I think we walk away right now, we find out. 435 00:14:52,914 --> 00:14:53,880 Okay. 436 00:14:53,916 --> 00:14:55,838 Uh, bring in the backup guy! 437 00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:56,870 Shit. 438 00:14:58,409 --> 00:15:00,543 Let's go, people! Oh, look at the candles. 439 00:15:00,576 --> 00:15:02,014 I'll do it. 440 00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:03,818 (Sighs) 441 00:15:03,921 --> 00:15:06,393 But one of the dates has to be at my hotel site in Napa. 442 00:15:06,826 --> 00:15:08,264 I want guaranteed shots of the signs 443 00:15:08,296 --> 00:15:09,612 and a verbal mention of the hotel name. 444 00:15:09,866 --> 00:15:10,932 Aha. New demands. 445 00:15:10,963 --> 00:15:13,791 Of course. Done, all right? 446 00:15:13,824 --> 00:15:15,874 Now just get back to work, you limey prick. 447 00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,202 She's charming. 448 00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:20,328 No, they're not ready! 449 00:15:20,990 --> 00:15:22,962 Okay. Here we go... 450 00:15:22,994 --> 00:15:24,048 - (Bell rings) - Again. 451 00:15:24,079 --> 00:15:25,050 This one's gonna be good. 452 00:15:25,081 --> 00:15:26,219 (Sam): Okay, cameras rolling! 453 00:15:26,251 --> 00:15:28,423 Sound speed! Camera speed! 454 00:15:28,455 --> 00:15:30,543 Okay, and... action. 455 00:15:30,575 --> 00:15:31,932 All right. Here we go. 456 00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,445 Please, just be better. 457 00:15:33,477 --> 00:15:34,837 This is good. This is good. 458 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,334 - Oh, look. - (Shia): Oh, yes. 459 00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:38,449 - (Whistles) - That's what I'm talking about. 460 00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:39,877 - Okay. - Yes, sashay, shantay. 461 00:15:39,909 --> 00:15:41,351 - That's right. - (Laughter) 462 00:15:41,382 --> 00:15:43,121 - Hi. - (Seductively) I'm Britney. 463 00:15:43,153 --> 00:15:45,200 - That is an entrance. - (Jay): Oh! 464 00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:46,413 (Laughing) Oh! 465 00:15:46,444 --> 00:15:49,416 - Oh, wow! - Damn! Damn! 466 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,054 Did you tell her to do that? 467 00:15:51,086 --> 00:15:52,852 I just told her that he was very sexual 468 00:15:52,884 --> 00:15:54,128 and she should go for it. 469 00:15:54,159 --> 00:15:56,231 Nice. People are going to hate her. 470 00:15:56,264 --> 00:15:57,001 Mm-hmm. 471 00:15:57,032 --> 00:15:58,477 But I like her. 472 00:15:58,677 --> 00:16:00,590 Oh, Mary. 473 00:16:00,622 --> 00:16:03,373 Sad, dried-up single-mother Mary. 474 00:16:03,746 --> 00:16:04,931 Okay, come on. What have we got? 475 00:16:04,962 --> 00:16:06,279 This is Mr. Bobo. 476 00:16:06,317 --> 00:16:07,456 - Mr. Bobo. - Yes. 477 00:16:07,487 --> 00:16:09,029 Oh, I hope she takes that stupid bear, 478 00:16:09,061 --> 00:16:10,445 and she's like, (sassily) "Oh, my baby daddy 479 00:16:10,476 --> 00:16:12,331 done did me wrong with Little Booboo." 480 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:14,298 - She's not even black. - (Sighs) That's racist. 481 00:16:14,331 --> 00:16:16,069 (Rachel): You know something? That's gonna be super tough. 482 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,460 Because she's very smart and guarded, 483 00:16:17,492 --> 00:16:19,563 and her last relationship, it was, uh, 484 00:16:19,595 --> 00:16:20,700 it was rough, right, Doc? 485 00:16:20,732 --> 00:16:24,806 Yeah, she does show some signs of, uh, PTSD, it's true. 486 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,129 - And she also... - And that is why we cast her... 487 00:16:27,162 --> 00:16:28,867 for the crazy, all right? 488 00:16:28,899 --> 00:16:31,672 Besides, she knew what she was in for. 489 00:16:31,705 --> 00:16:32,676 They all do. 490 00:16:32,707 --> 00:16:34,245 The crazier the better. 491 00:16:34,276 --> 00:16:36,610 Okay, Adam. Look at him. 492 00:16:36,643 --> 00:16:38,019 - He's about as charming as a corpse. - (Jay chuckles) 493 00:16:38,051 --> 00:16:39,223 - Mm-hmm. - Oh! 494 00:16:39,254 --> 00:16:40,982 - Hello. - Hello, handsome. 495 00:16:41,014 --> 00:16:43,291 - (Laughs) - That's my kind of woman. 496 00:16:43,323 --> 00:16:44,494 (Both laugh) 497 00:16:46,446 --> 00:16:48,736 Hi. I'm Faith. 498 00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:50,007 Okay. 499 00:16:50,038 --> 00:16:52,683 We just gave him a linebacker in a jumpsuit, 500 00:16:52,716 --> 00:16:54,621 and he just says, "Okay." 501 00:16:54,653 --> 00:16:56,386 Uh, that's our, uh, horse-faced tearjerker. 502 00:16:56,418 --> 00:16:57,288 And a virgin, right? 503 00:16:57,319 --> 00:16:59,125 Yeah, but she is so shy about that stuff, 504 00:16:59,157 --> 00:17:00,827 and we have so many other angles on her, you know? 505 00:17:00,859 --> 00:17:02,098 Jesus freak, boob job... 506 00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:03,734 Those are... Those are my boobs. 507 00:17:04,172 --> 00:17:05,671 Well, I convinced her to get them. 508 00:17:05,703 --> 00:17:06,863 I even got Grandma's church 509 00:17:06,894 --> 00:17:08,466 to take up a collection to pay for them. 510 00:17:08,498 --> 00:17:09,767 Grandma! Nice. 511 00:17:09,798 --> 00:17:10,872 But whatever, all right? 512 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:12,692 A train wreck like that's not staying past tonight. 513 00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:14,896 I need a sound bite before she goes. 514 00:17:14,928 --> 00:17:16,834 (Southern accent) Adam, I want you to be my first, okay? 515 00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:18,098 - Please, baby Jesus. - (Chuckles) 516 00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:19,652 And then he dumps her, and it's perfect. 517 00:17:19,683 --> 00:17:22,706 Okay, come on. Brazilian swimsuit model. 518 00:17:22,812 --> 00:17:24,979 Yes, this has got to wake him up. 519 00:17:25,066 --> 00:17:26,421 - (Laughs) - Hey. 520 00:17:26,453 --> 00:17:28,759 (Jay): Wow, gorgeous. Like these moves? 521 00:17:28,791 --> 00:17:29,662 - I do, yeah. - (Laughs) 522 00:17:29,693 --> 00:17:31,733 - Finally! Thank you! A smile. - Nice to meet you. 523 00:17:31,766 --> 00:17:35,465 - Grace. - That's all I wanted, was a smile, Adam. 524 00:17:35,517 --> 00:17:38,723 Hello, ladies, and welcome to "Everlasting"! 525 00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:40,550 (Cheers and applause) 526 00:17:40,582 --> 00:17:42,615 Now, I can see that you all have received 527 00:17:42,648 --> 00:17:43,875 the, uh, diamond bracelets, 528 00:17:43,906 --> 00:17:45,472 which was our way of inviting you 529 00:17:45,504 --> 00:17:48,576 on a wonderful fairytale journey with our lovely lad, Adam. 530 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,938 - (Women cheering) - But, unfortunately, 531 00:17:50,971 --> 00:17:52,709 - at the end of the night, uh, ladies... - Okay. Great. All right. 532 00:17:52,741 --> 00:17:54,613 He's going to have to reclaim those bracelets... 533 00:17:54,645 --> 00:17:57,928 but only for those girls that he has decided to send home. 534 00:17:57,961 --> 00:18:02,693 Now, without further ado, your suitor... Adam Cromwell! 535 00:18:02,729 --> 00:18:05,214 (Cheers and applause) 536 00:18:05,246 --> 00:18:07,203 (Quinn): Okay, come on, let's go, people. 537 00:18:07,236 --> 00:18:09,377 Protect the wifeys, Anna and Grace, 538 00:18:09,409 --> 00:18:11,348 and starve our villain, Britney, 539 00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:13,452 until she is mean like a pit bull. 540 00:18:13,484 --> 00:18:16,054 I want to pickle the rest of them, okay? 541 00:18:16,257 --> 00:18:20,682 You get cash bonuses for nudity, 911 calls, catfights, all right? 542 00:18:20,716 --> 00:18:22,248 Have a good show, everybody. 543 00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:25,522 So, I've never actually met, uh, a British person. 544 00:18:25,610 --> 00:18:26,815 - Thank you. - Oh, there you go... 545 00:18:26,846 --> 00:18:28,428 - some champagne. - (Chuckles) Cheers. 546 00:18:28,516 --> 00:18:31,617 - To love, to future, to "Everlasting." - Cheers. 547 00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:33,552 Thank you. 548 00:18:34,344 --> 00:18:35,633 Hi. Hi. 549 00:18:35,665 --> 00:18:36,952 Such a nice shirt. 550 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,188 Oh, thank you. Yeah. 551 00:18:38,220 --> 00:18:39,981 Uh, your dress looks lovely. 552 00:18:40,013 --> 00:18:41,602 Thank you. 553 00:18:41,791 --> 00:18:43,049 (Adam): You having a good time? 554 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:43,929 A blast. Cheers. 555 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,404 I have nothing, people, okay? 556 00:18:46,437 --> 00:18:47,391 Listen to me. 557 00:18:47,422 --> 00:18:49,261 Get me some one-on-one interviews. 558 00:18:49,293 --> 00:18:51,232 Get me some good TV! 559 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,814 I see Faith. I'll prep her. 560 00:18:54,253 --> 00:18:55,564 Hi, Faith. 561 00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:57,657 - Hi. - Shia, from the phone. 562 00:18:57,689 --> 00:18:58,665 What is Shia doing? 563 00:18:58,696 --> 00:19:00,412 - No, Shia. - (Faith): Oh! 564 00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:02,460 Oh, gosh! 565 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:03,943 - Hi! - Hi. 566 00:19:03,974 --> 00:19:05,362 - How are you? - Ah! 567 00:19:05,393 --> 00:19:06,595 You're a waiter. 568 00:19:06,627 --> 00:19:08,835 Oh, no, no. It's like a disguise. 569 00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:10,417 A... They picked me to manage you guys tonight, 570 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:12,209 but since I'm on camera, I got to blend in. 571 00:19:12,241 --> 00:19:13,230 Okay. That's so clever. 572 00:19:13,261 --> 00:19:14,998 - Yeah. - Oh, my gosh. Ugh. 573 00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,281 - It is so nice to meet you. - Oh, okay. 574 00:19:17,314 --> 00:19:19,372 - Oh, my Gosh. (Laughs) - What is she doing? 575 00:19:19,404 --> 00:19:21,539 Anyway, I wanted to say that, 576 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,849 for the one-on-one tonight, you... you really need to 577 00:19:23,882 --> 00:19:25,497 - make a good impression, and... - Right. 578 00:19:25,529 --> 00:19:26,337 - Right. - you don't have much time, 579 00:19:26,368 --> 00:19:29,044 - so you got to get right to the point. - Okay. Which point? 580 00:19:29,277 --> 00:19:32,000 About yourself, about everything. 581 00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:33,888 No, Shia, I got it. Stand down. 582 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,591 Oh, uh, I was just gonna sort of chat, 583 00:19:36,624 --> 00:19:38,064 like, uh, howdy-doody kind of... 584 00:19:38,095 --> 00:19:39,400 Okay, well, what we need you to do 585 00:19:39,432 --> 00:19:40,994 is talk about being a virgin. 586 00:19:41,026 --> 00:19:42,529 Oh! 587 00:19:46,113 --> 00:19:47,218 What? 588 00:19:47,355 --> 00:19:48,725 I mean, we think it's really great, 589 00:19:48,756 --> 00:19:49,773 - a-and w-we know he's going to love it. - Oh, oh, there, there, there. 590 00:19:49,804 --> 00:19:51,809 Tell them to go in. Madison, move! 591 00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,153 Push in, push in, push in, push in, push in. 592 00:19:53,184 --> 00:19:56,079 It's super hot, and guys are into that. 593 00:19:56,625 --> 00:19:58,026 Who told you that? 594 00:19:58,057 --> 00:20:01,780 Uh, it was just... Rachel. 595 00:20:03,309 --> 00:20:05,110 Okay, we got the tears, we got the tears. 596 00:20:05,142 --> 00:20:07,017 - Yes! - Oh, God. 597 00:20:07,256 --> 00:20:08,902 Stupid bitch. 598 00:20:08,934 --> 00:20:09,999 Faith? 599 00:20:10,103 --> 00:20:11,536 - (Crying) - Faith, sweetie? Faith? 600 00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:12,793 Get camera "A" over there. 601 00:20:12,825 --> 00:20:13,846 "A" Cam, get in on Britney. 602 00:20:13,877 --> 00:20:15,961 Find Britney. There you go. 603 00:20:16,165 --> 00:20:18,259 Aw. Why is she crying? 604 00:20:18,935 --> 00:20:20,726 Maybe he spotted her super-shrub 605 00:20:20,758 --> 00:20:22,558 through that ugly-ass jumpsuit. 606 00:20:22,590 --> 00:20:23,142 (Laughter) 607 00:20:23,173 --> 00:20:26,203 Yes, that is a good bitch! 608 00:20:26,236 --> 00:20:27,157 Finally. 609 00:20:27,188 --> 00:20:29,686 And thank you. 610 00:20:29,719 --> 00:20:30,967 Thank you, Britney. 611 00:20:30,999 --> 00:20:31,968 Was this your plan, 612 00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:33,721 to have me come here and tell people... 613 00:20:33,753 --> 00:20:34,952 No, Faith. 614 00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:37,161 Adam. Please. 615 00:20:37,199 --> 00:20:40,430 Uh, oh. Uh, Faith. Hi. 616 00:20:40,464 --> 00:20:42,159 - (Faith): Uh, hi. - You okay? 617 00:20:42,340 --> 00:20:45,840 Yeah, uh, I just have something...in my eye. 618 00:20:45,874 --> 00:20:47,203 These lashes are... 619 00:20:47,234 --> 00:20:49,584 Can I steal you for a second? 620 00:20:49,806 --> 00:20:50,806 Yes. 621 00:20:50,936 --> 00:20:54,025 Okay, just through here. 622 00:20:54,232 --> 00:20:56,248 - Okay. - We'll just take a seat here. 623 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,052 (Sighs) 624 00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,540 (Faith): All right. Uh, I'm so sorry. 625 00:21:02,065 --> 00:21:04,199 This is not how I... 626 00:21:04,536 --> 00:21:06,475 how I planned to do this. 627 00:21:06,508 --> 00:21:07,304 - You're a virgin. - Just that, uh... 628 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:08,730 Give me that. Give me that. 629 00:21:09,012 --> 00:21:11,023 These other girls, um... 630 00:21:11,751 --> 00:21:13,940 I think I'm a little out of my league. 631 00:21:14,123 --> 00:21:15,445 Are you kidding me? 632 00:21:15,476 --> 00:21:17,315 I've been talking about gluten and CrossFit 633 00:21:17,347 --> 00:21:18,997 for the last two hours. 634 00:21:19,424 --> 00:21:21,252 You're the most attractive person here. 635 00:21:24,829 --> 00:21:25,778 Me? 636 00:21:25,809 --> 00:21:26,914 Yeah. 637 00:21:27,034 --> 00:21:28,450 Aww. 638 00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:30,876 Look at Adam, being so nice. 639 00:21:30,908 --> 00:21:33,308 What, you think Britney would last in the rodeo? 640 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,452 No, the clowns would kill her. 641 00:21:35,484 --> 00:21:36,672 (Both laugh) 642 00:21:36,704 --> 00:21:38,642 Okay, you know what, this just turned into 643 00:21:38,674 --> 00:21:39,780 two guys in a locker room. 644 00:21:39,811 --> 00:21:40,965 Get me someone else now. 645 00:21:40,996 --> 00:21:42,312 They wouldn't really kill her. 646 00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,538 They'd probably strangle her and leave her in a ditch. 647 00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,704 Okay, come on, come on, come on. 648 00:21:47,392 --> 00:21:48,877 Mary. Hi. 649 00:21:48,909 --> 00:21:50,629 - How's it going? - It's good. 650 00:21:50,661 --> 00:21:51,358 Yeah? You look great. 651 00:21:51,389 --> 00:21:52,615 - You look great. - Thank you. 652 00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:54,796 - Uh, here. - Oh, no, thank you. 653 00:21:54,976 --> 00:21:55,720 - You sure? - Yeah. 654 00:21:55,751 --> 00:21:58,130 All right, well, don't mind if I do. 655 00:21:58,162 --> 00:21:59,520 - Mmm. - (Chuckles) 656 00:21:59,552 --> 00:22:02,440 - (Clears throat) - How's it going with Adam? 657 00:22:02,473 --> 00:22:03,597 - Uh, Adam. - Yeah. 658 00:22:03,628 --> 00:22:06,383 Well, I've seen him across the patio twice, 659 00:22:06,416 --> 00:22:07,950 and he looks young enough to be my step-son, 660 00:22:07,982 --> 00:22:09,869 so, needless to say, I'm madly in love. 661 00:22:09,901 --> 00:22:11,679 - (Both laugh) - Nobody will tell me... 662 00:22:11,711 --> 00:22:13,494 - Huh? - How old is he? 663 00:22:13,626 --> 00:22:14,681 He's 29. 664 00:22:15,378 --> 00:22:16,652 - Yeah. - Oh. 665 00:22:17,272 --> 00:22:18,205 Okay. 666 00:22:18,291 --> 00:22:20,458 So, um, this... 667 00:22:20,984 --> 00:22:21,884 So this is a setup, 668 00:22:21,915 --> 00:22:23,987 and I'm (clears throat) I'm the old... 669 00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:25,325 old, desperate one? 670 00:22:25,356 --> 00:22:26,722 Are you kidding me? No way. 671 00:22:26,754 --> 00:22:29,140 He... he... he thinks you're a total MILF. 672 00:22:29,331 --> 00:22:30,250 - A MILF? - Yeah. 673 00:22:30,281 --> 00:22:31,010 Oh, that's nice. 674 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:31,994 - (Scoffs) - No, you know what? 675 00:22:32,026 --> 00:22:34,863 Listen. He's completely open to you. 676 00:22:34,896 --> 00:22:36,774 All right, you've got to walkie Rachel. Give her the stats, right now. 677 00:22:36,806 --> 00:22:38,909 Oh, yeah, that's right. Okay, got it. Rachel? 678 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:40,311 No, Doctor, you... on the side, you got to... 679 00:22:40,343 --> 00:22:42,452 No, push the button. Push it! 680 00:22:42,484 --> 00:22:44,677 I... Okay, got it. Uh, uh, Rachel? 681 00:22:44,709 --> 00:22:46,847 Uh, Quinn says to tell you that, 682 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,294 um, her husband was physically abusive... 683 00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:50,993 hit the kid, too, broke her arm, 684 00:22:51,024 --> 00:22:53,307 and that you should, you know, 685 00:22:53,460 --> 00:22:54,558 use it. 686 00:22:54,987 --> 00:22:56,683 Rachel. Um... 687 00:22:57,026 --> 00:22:58,292 (Quinn): Come on, Rachel. 688 00:22:58,328 --> 00:23:00,211 Take her down, okay? 689 00:23:00,244 --> 00:23:02,567 You airballed my virgin. You owe me this. 690 00:23:03,874 --> 00:23:06,280 Tick, tock, tick, tock, let's go. 691 00:23:06,312 --> 00:23:07,634 - Are you okay? - Y-Yeah. 692 00:23:07,666 --> 00:23:11,156 Uh... um... and Adam, 693 00:23:11,190 --> 00:23:12,369 you know, he would... 694 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,993 he would never, ever hurt you. 695 00:23:15,599 --> 00:23:17,415 He's a really, really good guy. 696 00:23:17,447 --> 00:23:18,868 I know him. 697 00:23:19,402 --> 00:23:20,575 I promise. 698 00:23:23,865 --> 00:23:25,031 Um... 699 00:23:25,416 --> 00:23:27,112 Why should I believe you? 700 00:23:28,659 --> 00:23:32,450 Because I looked into Lily Belle's eyes, 701 00:23:32,484 --> 00:23:35,485 and I swore I'd protect you. 702 00:23:35,523 --> 00:23:36,672 I mean, (chuckles) 703 00:23:37,276 --> 00:23:38,761 and I would have to be a sociopath 704 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:41,539 to lie to a 4-year-old, so... 705 00:23:41,572 --> 00:23:43,180 - True. - Yeah. 706 00:23:44,642 --> 00:23:45,780 Give me the damn bear. 707 00:23:45,812 --> 00:23:47,734 (Both laugh) 708 00:23:47,766 --> 00:23:50,806 Uh, can we, uh, can we fly in Mary's bear, please? 709 00:23:50,839 --> 00:23:51,876 Thank you. 710 00:23:51,907 --> 00:23:52,995 Nicely done, Rachel. 711 00:23:53,027 --> 00:23:54,527 Nicely done. 712 00:23:54,663 --> 00:23:56,660 - Oh. (Laughs) - Like magic. 713 00:23:56,693 --> 00:23:58,168 You've got it. You look beautiful. 714 00:23:59,424 --> 00:24:00,946 (Sniffles) 715 00:24:01,971 --> 00:24:03,328 (Quinn): Cameras up, people. 716 00:24:03,449 --> 00:24:04,703 There we go. There we go. 717 00:24:04,734 --> 00:24:06,234 Are you behind me? 718 00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:06,907 Thank you. (Adam): Hi. 719 00:24:06,938 --> 00:24:09,112 - Hi. - (Laughs) 720 00:24:09,144 --> 00:24:10,176 So, um... 721 00:24:10,731 --> 00:24:11,870 Nice. 722 00:24:12,351 --> 00:24:13,172 First night back, 723 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:14,886 and you throw a single mom to the wolves. 724 00:24:15,758 --> 00:24:16,455 Classy. 725 00:24:16,485 --> 00:24:17,341 You know what? 726 00:24:17,372 --> 00:24:18,627 Seriously, 727 00:24:18,953 --> 00:24:20,930 screw you, okay? 728 00:24:20,962 --> 00:24:22,273 There's... there's reasons 729 00:24:22,305 --> 00:24:23,593 that I had to get through tonight, 730 00:24:23,624 --> 00:24:25,029 reasons I had to come back. 731 00:24:25,061 --> 00:24:26,487 There always are with you. 732 00:24:26,518 --> 00:24:27,421 (Mary): I just... 733 00:24:27,452 --> 00:24:28,987 - I just wanted you to know that... - (Rachel): Heads up. 734 00:24:29,019 --> 00:24:31,870 my daughter, she is... 735 00:24:32,141 --> 00:24:34,358 the most important, most precious thing 736 00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:35,930 - in my life, you know? - Yeah. 737 00:24:36,483 --> 00:24:39,319 And, um, well, this is her most precious possession. 738 00:24:39,554 --> 00:24:40,374 Oh. 739 00:24:40,977 --> 00:24:42,209 She wanted you to have it. 740 00:24:43,808 --> 00:24:44,465 Oh. 741 00:24:44,496 --> 00:24:46,890 She wanted you to know how excited she was, 742 00:24:46,923 --> 00:24:48,411 or is, to have a new daddy. 743 00:24:48,442 --> 00:24:49,247 (Laughs) 744 00:24:49,278 --> 00:24:50,933 (Jay laughing): Oh! Baby daddy. 745 00:24:50,965 --> 00:24:52,180 - I told you! - You called it. 746 00:24:52,212 --> 00:24:53,221 - I told you! - You called it. 747 00:24:53,252 --> 00:24:54,520 - Thank you. - (Laughs) 748 00:24:54,551 --> 00:24:56,344 That's... That's really sweet. That is. 749 00:24:56,376 --> 00:24:57,364 Yeah. Look at that. 750 00:24:57,395 --> 00:25:00,268 Finally. That is what I'm talking about. 751 00:25:00,301 --> 00:25:02,099 Okay. Here we go! 752 00:25:02,463 --> 00:25:03,160 Hey. 753 00:25:03,191 --> 00:25:04,796 Hey, you remember when you used to be 754 00:25:04,827 --> 00:25:06,071 a women's studies major? 755 00:25:06,381 --> 00:25:07,668 I am, okay? 756 00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:10,490 Fair enough. But this gets to you. 757 00:25:10,523 --> 00:25:12,510 It makes you sick, Rach. 758 00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:14,916 The Mary scene has gone as dry as her old, 759 00:25:14,949 --> 00:25:16,404 shriveled pussy, all right? 760 00:25:16,435 --> 00:25:17,851 Get me some chemistry. 761 00:25:17,938 --> 00:25:20,127 God, she even offends me. 762 00:25:20,159 --> 00:25:21,231 What? 763 00:25:21,262 --> 00:25:23,424 It's like you guys have never heard that word before. 764 00:25:23,602 --> 00:25:25,120 - You did great. Thanks. - (Chuckles) 765 00:25:25,152 --> 00:25:26,794 I'll take that. 766 00:25:27,291 --> 00:25:28,345 - Heads up. - Hi. 767 00:25:28,376 --> 00:25:29,404 Hi. How's it going? Hey. 768 00:25:29,441 --> 00:25:31,384 All right, Grace, come on. 769 00:25:31,417 --> 00:25:32,733 Here we go. This'll be good. 770 00:25:33,296 --> 00:25:34,820 How's your night going? 771 00:25:34,851 --> 00:25:36,907 Whew! It's, um... 772 00:25:37,095 --> 00:25:37,966 it's fun. 773 00:25:37,997 --> 00:25:39,480 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 774 00:25:39,834 --> 00:25:41,406 Someone told me that you like to ride. 775 00:25:41,438 --> 00:25:42,554 We have to do that while we're here. 776 00:25:42,969 --> 00:25:44,128 Horses... 777 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,038 - Yeah, right? - Yeah, horses. 778 00:25:45,069 --> 00:25:46,679 - (Laughing) - Okay, good. I ride horses. 779 00:25:46,710 --> 00:25:48,217 - (Laughing) Yeah. - Yeah. 780 00:25:48,585 --> 00:25:49,673 Ah. Yeah. 781 00:25:49,705 --> 00:25:51,822 There's nothing like the feeling 782 00:25:52,033 --> 00:25:54,493 of a powerful animal between your legs. 783 00:25:54,526 --> 00:25:55,730 Wow. 784 00:25:55,761 --> 00:25:58,251 - (Laughs) - (Laughing) Wow, yeah. 785 00:25:58,284 --> 00:25:59,928 I... I really said that. 786 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:01,843 - Oh, that's amazing. - Um... 787 00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:03,745 That was not a line, I swear. 788 00:26:03,777 --> 00:26:05,974 I-I don't care, as long as it's true. 789 00:26:06,264 --> 00:26:07,405 It's true. 790 00:26:07,743 --> 00:26:09,876 - Yeah? - Yeah. 791 00:26:11,171 --> 00:26:12,319 Come here. 792 00:26:13,271 --> 00:26:14,889 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 793 00:26:17,163 --> 00:26:18,734 Wow. All right. 794 00:26:18,766 --> 00:26:20,605 That's all right. We asked for it. Here we go. 795 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,141 - She's that kind of girl, huh? - That's what she's bringing. 796 00:26:22,172 --> 00:26:24,155 - She's bringing it. - (Laughs) 797 00:26:24,277 --> 00:26:25,380 - Uh-oh. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 798 00:26:25,411 --> 00:26:26,988 - (Grace moans) - He has his hand on her boob. 799 00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:28,143 No. I know, I know. I got it, okay? 800 00:26:28,174 --> 00:26:30,574 It's too much, Rachel, all right? It's Episode 1. 801 00:26:30,607 --> 00:26:32,107 She's supposed to be marriage material, 802 00:26:32,193 --> 00:26:33,731 not his Mexican hooker. 803 00:26:33,763 --> 00:26:35,396 - Rachel, it's my turn. - Can you... just one second. 804 00:26:35,484 --> 00:26:36,849 Want to take it to my bedroom? 805 00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:38,659 Yeah. Let's go. 806 00:26:38,691 --> 00:26:39,857 Let's go. 807 00:26:39,977 --> 00:26:41,699 - (Rachel): All right, come on. - Uh... 808 00:26:41,731 --> 00:26:43,836 - Come on. Let's go, big boy. - W-Wha... I'm... I'm just... 809 00:26:43,868 --> 00:26:45,606 Uh, I will be with you in a sec. I just, uh... 810 00:26:45,638 --> 00:26:47,177 - Come on. - What are you... 811 00:26:47,209 --> 00:26:49,242 Okay, I'll... I'll just be right here. 812 00:26:53,989 --> 00:26:56,095 Darling, if you wanted to cop a feel, just ask. 813 00:26:56,128 --> 00:26:58,450 You know something? I'm just trying to take your mike off, okay? 814 00:26:58,482 --> 00:27:00,454 Otherwise, they can hear everything, FYI. 815 00:27:00,486 --> 00:27:02,152 Um, you can't do that. 816 00:27:02,407 --> 00:27:03,012 Do what? 817 00:27:03,042 --> 00:27:04,463 The first time that we're getting anything 818 00:27:04,495 --> 00:27:06,817 resembling chemistry off of you, it's only for Grace. 819 00:27:06,849 --> 00:27:07,918 I mean, y-y-you... 820 00:27:07,950 --> 00:27:09,791 you cannot bang her on the first night, okay? 821 00:27:09,823 --> 00:27:10,799 She's the hottest one here, 822 00:27:10,830 --> 00:27:11,963 and you're saying that I can't be into her? 823 00:27:11,994 --> 00:27:13,715 - Right. - That's ridiculous. 824 00:27:13,747 --> 00:27:16,999 Have you never had to play by anybody else's rules? 825 00:27:17,408 --> 00:27:20,289 Oh, okay. I get it. So you're just a spoiled brat. 826 00:27:20,642 --> 00:27:22,534 - Now it's making so much more sense. - (Laughs) 827 00:27:22,566 --> 00:27:23,299 I get it. 828 00:27:23,330 --> 00:27:24,984 - What? - I just... 829 00:27:25,015 --> 00:27:27,060 Women don't usually talk to me like that. 830 00:27:27,093 --> 00:27:29,982 Oh, because you're so devastatingly attractive. 831 00:27:30,015 --> 00:27:31,569 - And the accent, yeah. - Oh. 832 00:27:31,601 --> 00:27:32,301 I kind of like it, though, 833 00:27:32,331 --> 00:27:33,936 - the way you're busting my balls like this. - Don't do that, okay? 834 00:27:33,968 --> 00:27:35,723 - Huh? Sure? - Okay? Mnh-mnh... Can we... Whoa, no. 835 00:27:35,755 --> 00:27:38,060 Let's just stay on topic, shall we? 836 00:27:38,149 --> 00:27:40,305 (Sighing) Fine. 837 00:27:40,337 --> 00:27:43,943 Uh, to your question, no, I never follow the rules, 838 00:27:43,977 --> 00:27:46,394 and I don't plan on following these ones, either. 839 00:27:46,733 --> 00:27:47,982 It's a farce. 840 00:27:48,103 --> 00:27:49,824 It's like the... the... the rodeo girl, 841 00:27:49,856 --> 00:27:50,672 - Mm-hmm. - Faith. 842 00:27:50,703 --> 00:27:53,893 She's only here to be the butt of some joke. 843 00:27:56,220 --> 00:27:57,299 Do you want to do something 844 00:27:57,336 --> 00:27:59,673 that'll fully flip Quinn out, something big? 845 00:28:01,686 --> 00:28:02,734 Maybe. 846 00:28:06,229 --> 00:28:07,722 Final touches, please. 847 00:28:07,753 --> 00:28:09,725 32 minutes till sunrise. 848 00:28:09,758 --> 00:28:11,396 Everyone, back to your marks. 849 00:28:11,427 --> 00:28:12,632 - (Bell rings) - Thanks for showing up. 850 00:28:12,664 --> 00:28:14,152 - Sound speed. Camera speed. - (Sighs) 851 00:28:14,183 --> 00:28:15,318 Sorry. I've been running around out there with those... 852 00:28:15,350 --> 00:28:19,244 - On your call, madam. - Okay. And...action. 853 00:28:19,585 --> 00:28:23,272 (Host): Ladies, as you know, when Adam calls your name, 854 00:28:23,603 --> 00:28:26,821 you can come up and proceed to our safe zone 855 00:28:27,060 --> 00:28:29,060 and have a glass of champagne. 856 00:28:29,571 --> 00:28:31,737 But if your name is not called, ladies, 857 00:28:31,770 --> 00:28:34,696 sadly, your fairytale ends tonight. 858 00:28:34,729 --> 00:28:37,816 You'll return the bracelets and, of course, say your goodbyes. 859 00:28:37,849 --> 00:28:40,850 - Adam, are you ready? - Yes. 860 00:28:40,990 --> 00:28:43,061 Stage is yours. 861 00:28:43,445 --> 00:28:45,612 (Adam): This decision has been very difficult. 862 00:28:45,699 --> 00:28:47,082 You are all exceptional. 863 00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:50,156 Shamiqua. 864 00:28:50,276 --> 00:28:53,616 (Laughing) Yes, white boy! You get that brown sugar. 865 00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:55,600 Whatever. Three episodes tops. 866 00:28:55,632 --> 00:28:59,139 Hey, mo... new girl, move, move. Thank you. 867 00:28:59,178 --> 00:29:00,383 Shamiqua, will you stay, please? 868 00:29:00,414 --> 00:29:02,330 I would be honored. Thank you. 869 00:29:02,362 --> 00:29:04,384 Okay, here we go. I need Camera Eight. 870 00:29:04,417 --> 00:29:05,824 Push in on the MILFY. 871 00:29:05,855 --> 00:29:07,008 Keep it there, please. 872 00:29:07,095 --> 00:29:08,457 Mary. 873 00:29:09,599 --> 00:29:10,932 Mary, will you stay, please? 874 00:29:11,218 --> 00:29:12,227 Yes, I will. 875 00:29:12,258 --> 00:29:13,852 (Chuckles) 876 00:29:17,866 --> 00:29:19,282 Violet. 877 00:29:19,369 --> 00:29:20,535 Violet, will you say, please? 878 00:29:20,566 --> 00:29:21,766 Rose. 879 00:29:21,798 --> 00:29:22,810 Rose, will you stay, please? 880 00:29:22,841 --> 00:29:23,891 Rita. Rita, will you stay, please? 881 00:29:23,922 --> 00:29:25,037 Maya. Maya, will you stay, please? 882 00:29:25,068 --> 00:29:26,073 Crystal. Crystal, will you stay, please? 883 00:29:26,104 --> 00:29:28,967 Joy. Pepper. Grace. Anna. 884 00:29:29,166 --> 00:29:31,858 - Anna, will you stay, please? - Yes. 885 00:29:31,891 --> 00:29:33,609 Okay, here we go, everyone. Last one. 886 00:29:33,641 --> 00:29:36,840 I need Loser Cam on Manly Rodeo Queen, 887 00:29:36,873 --> 00:29:39,424 and I need Camera Nine to repo to evil bitch Britney. 888 00:29:39,545 --> 00:29:41,668 She's gonna win this, people. 889 00:29:44,940 --> 00:29:46,238 Okay. 890 00:29:49,783 --> 00:29:50,900 Faith. 891 00:29:52,255 --> 00:29:53,176 - What? - What? 892 00:29:53,207 --> 00:29:54,378 What?! 893 00:29:54,410 --> 00:29:55,489 No! 894 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,210 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 895 00:29:57,242 --> 00:29:58,604 No. This is not happening. 896 00:29:58,635 --> 00:30:00,969 My God! Oh, my God! 897 00:30:01,108 --> 00:30:04,028 (Laughing) Oh, my Gosh! 898 00:30:04,061 --> 00:30:06,392 Oh, my gosh! 899 00:30:06,425 --> 00:30:08,941 Oh, my gosh! 900 00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:10,541 Faith, will you stay, please? 901 00:30:10,660 --> 00:30:11,914 (Sighs) 902 00:30:11,946 --> 00:30:13,437 Yeah. 903 00:30:14,181 --> 00:30:15,467 Thank you. 904 00:30:15,555 --> 00:30:17,105 (All): Aww. 905 00:30:17,137 --> 00:30:18,341 Oh! 906 00:30:18,477 --> 00:30:20,978 (All cheering) 907 00:30:22,252 --> 00:30:25,019 Oh, screw this! 908 00:30:25,158 --> 00:30:26,690 Repo Cam. We got a runner, people. 909 00:30:26,728 --> 00:30:27,810 Camera "A," follow Britney. 910 00:30:27,841 --> 00:30:28,834 (Woman): Copy that. 911 00:30:28,865 --> 00:30:30,899 - (Sobbing) - Cut! Cut! 912 00:30:30,987 --> 00:30:32,260 - (Bell rings) - Hold the roll! 913 00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:33,691 I'm pissed, too, Britney. 914 00:30:35,246 --> 00:30:37,925 You, follow me, now. 915 00:30:37,958 --> 00:30:39,717 Hey, pretty boy, come here, please. 916 00:30:40,469 --> 00:30:41,339 (Sighs) 917 00:30:41,425 --> 00:30:42,753 Hi. Yeah. 918 00:30:42,785 --> 00:30:45,578 Um, listen, you cut my villain, 919 00:30:45,611 --> 00:30:47,343 and I can't make a television show 920 00:30:47,375 --> 00:30:49,076 without a villain. 921 00:30:49,108 --> 00:30:50,808 Did you know about this? 922 00:30:50,945 --> 00:30:52,380 (Adam): Oh, no, that wasn't her. 923 00:30:52,411 --> 00:30:54,393 I just did what I felt in my heart. 924 00:30:55,526 --> 00:30:57,457 Your heart? Please. 925 00:30:57,489 --> 00:30:59,032 Okay, don't worry about it, all right? 926 00:30:59,064 --> 00:31:00,663 I got it. It's gonna be good TV. 927 00:31:00,694 --> 00:31:02,415 (Britney): Hello?! Get out of here! 928 00:31:02,502 --> 00:31:03,754 I'm off the freakin' show! 929 00:31:03,786 --> 00:31:05,226 (Man): All right, just... just... just keep it on her, okay? 930 00:31:05,257 --> 00:31:08,552 - Keep it on her. - Stand down! Stand down! 931 00:31:08,586 --> 00:31:12,576 Britney. Britney, you listen to me, okay? 932 00:31:12,611 --> 00:31:17,070 If you walk away right now, they're gonna get the last word. 933 00:31:18,264 --> 00:31:21,037 Is that what you want? 934 00:31:23,513 --> 00:31:25,146 Come on. 935 00:31:31,781 --> 00:31:33,154 There you go. 936 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:36,871 Do you feel good? 937 00:31:37,476 --> 00:31:38,759 I feel great. 938 00:31:38,845 --> 00:31:41,413 Eh. Okay. 939 00:31:41,446 --> 00:31:44,048 - I got it. Thank you. - You look really pretty. 940 00:31:44,081 --> 00:31:45,890 Well, isn't that ironic? 941 00:31:46,077 --> 00:31:47,365 You ready to shoot? 942 00:31:47,397 --> 00:31:49,814 Yeah. I can't wait. 943 00:31:51,150 --> 00:31:52,621 Are we rolling? 944 00:31:53,131 --> 00:31:55,159 Okay. 945 00:31:57,517 --> 00:32:00,767 Why don't you just tell me what happened here tonight? 946 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,953 He's such a great guy, 947 00:32:06,985 --> 00:32:10,418 and I've had a lovely time on the show. 948 00:32:14,391 --> 00:32:16,453 And I'm gonna repeat that on loop 949 00:32:16,486 --> 00:32:21,712 until you let me go home, Rachel. 950 00:32:25,020 --> 00:32:27,943 (Dr. Wagerstein): Um, uh, Rachel? Rachel? 951 00:32:30,113 --> 00:32:33,547 One second, all right? Just give me one sec. 952 00:32:33,722 --> 00:32:35,553 Take your time. 953 00:32:36,256 --> 00:32:37,592 Go for Rachel. 954 00:32:37,624 --> 00:32:40,150 (Dr. Wagerstein): Rachel, uh, I don't know if this is gonna be helpful 955 00:32:40,183 --> 00:32:43,708 but Subject 21 was adopted 956 00:32:43,742 --> 00:32:45,602 and was in foster care for years. 957 00:32:45,634 --> 00:32:48,710 Uh, she was emancipated at 16, and... 958 00:32:48,743 --> 00:32:52,957 oh, she was in, uh, uh, she was in a psych ward twice. 959 00:32:52,992 --> 00:32:55,285 And yet you let her on the show? 960 00:32:55,317 --> 00:32:57,061 - Oh. Um, I... Okay, Rachel, I... - No, just cut out. 961 00:32:57,093 --> 00:32:58,259 Just let go. Let go of the button. 962 00:32:58,346 --> 00:33:00,263 - I... - Let go! 963 00:33:00,776 --> 00:33:03,184 Never mind. 964 00:33:13,481 --> 00:33:14,951 We good? 965 00:33:24,130 --> 00:33:26,002 Okay, you know what? I don't... I don't... 966 00:33:26,034 --> 00:33:30,229 (Sighs) I don't want to be doing this crap any more than you do. 967 00:33:30,264 --> 00:33:32,218 I don't. Jeremy, can you just stop? 968 00:33:32,250 --> 00:33:33,263 Stop filming, please. 969 00:33:33,294 --> 00:33:35,486 Just turn... put the camera down, okay? 970 00:33:35,519 --> 00:33:37,771 Stop rolling. We're finished. 971 00:33:37,803 --> 00:33:42,088 Just... I... I, uh... God, that feels so good. 972 00:33:42,846 --> 00:33:43,874 Wow, okay. 973 00:33:43,905 --> 00:33:46,424 I just... Can someone get me a drink? 974 00:33:46,457 --> 00:33:48,503 Can somebody get me a drink, please?! 975 00:33:48,535 --> 00:33:49,871 I, uh... 976 00:33:49,902 --> 00:33:50,957 (Man): I'm on it. 977 00:33:50,989 --> 00:33:52,889 Oh, my God. 978 00:33:54,547 --> 00:33:56,430 Come on. 979 00:33:56,552 --> 00:33:58,685 Come on. 980 00:33:58,938 --> 00:34:01,223 - Yeah, okay. - Come on. 981 00:34:03,530 --> 00:34:05,860 Oh, my God. Sunrise sucks. 982 00:34:05,893 --> 00:34:08,558 Can somebody please get us a drink today? 983 00:34:08,591 --> 00:34:09,604 What? 984 00:34:09,635 --> 00:34:11,126 - Thank you. - What is Rachel doing? 985 00:34:11,158 --> 00:34:12,064 Thank you. 986 00:34:12,095 --> 00:34:14,067 (Woman): You're welcome. 987 00:34:22,143 --> 00:34:26,007 Everybody judges you. It's, like, so unfair. 988 00:34:26,196 --> 00:34:28,113 - Me? - Mm-hmm. 989 00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:30,368 No. 990 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:31,482 No. 991 00:34:31,513 --> 00:34:33,825 I... (Sighs) 992 00:34:33,913 --> 00:34:35,652 I judge everyone. 993 00:34:35,684 --> 00:34:38,422 No, you're a total softie, I can tell. 994 00:34:38,455 --> 00:34:40,648 - (Laughs) - Right? You probably... 995 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,417 You probably like, like, dogs, and puppies, 996 00:34:43,450 --> 00:34:45,963 and rainbows, and unicorns. 997 00:34:45,996 --> 00:34:47,488 Am I right? 998 00:34:47,625 --> 00:34:50,912 You're the only person on the planet that thinks that. 999 00:34:51,873 --> 00:34:55,341 I'm sure your parents see your tender little heart. 1000 00:34:56,933 --> 00:34:59,033 - What? - Nothing. Never mind. 1001 00:34:59,065 --> 00:35:00,515 Anyways... 1002 00:35:03,548 --> 00:35:06,523 - (Sighs) - From one slut to another. 1003 00:35:07,230 --> 00:35:08,320 Cheers. 1004 00:35:08,352 --> 00:35:10,207 Did you just call me a slut? 1005 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:12,448 Okay. I can use that. I can use that. 1006 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,690 No. I just called myself a slut. 1007 00:35:15,724 --> 00:35:17,000 (Chuckles) 1008 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:18,586 Right. 1009 00:35:20,409 --> 00:35:21,702 (Sighs) Hey, listen. 1010 00:35:21,733 --> 00:35:27,863 Um, did he...did he say something to you? 1011 00:35:28,161 --> 00:35:30,643 Adam? Mm... 1012 00:35:31,056 --> 00:35:35,462 Like, not... not super specifically... 1013 00:35:35,497 --> 00:35:39,354 I mean, but, you know, you did come on kind of strong. 1014 00:35:40,981 --> 00:35:42,115 You told me to. 1015 00:35:42,147 --> 00:35:43,644 - I did not tell you... - Yes, you... 1016 00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:45,721 to, like, French him and grab his ass. 1017 00:35:45,754 --> 00:35:47,368 Wow. 1018 00:35:50,326 --> 00:35:52,824 You're something else, Rachel. 1019 00:35:53,669 --> 00:35:55,646 I don't know. Do you think that you're, like, forward 1020 00:35:55,679 --> 00:35:57,653 because of, um... 1021 00:35:58,151 --> 00:36:00,290 things that happened in your upbringing? 1022 00:36:01,969 --> 00:36:03,296 What are you talking about? 1023 00:36:03,383 --> 00:36:05,338 I was just saying that, like, 1024 00:36:05,370 --> 00:36:06,759 you know, when bad things go down, 1025 00:36:06,791 --> 00:36:10,949 sometimes your kid brain computes it as, like, um... 1026 00:36:10,983 --> 00:36:13,222 I don't know. 1027 00:36:13,255 --> 00:36:15,755 "I must be unlovable." 1028 00:36:24,681 --> 00:36:26,083 (Sighs) 1029 00:36:32,494 --> 00:36:33,506 (Crying) 1030 00:36:33,537 --> 00:36:34,742 (Sniffling) 1031 00:36:35,143 --> 00:36:37,249 (Man): Heads up. 1032 00:36:45,711 --> 00:36:49,557 I am... 1033 00:36:50,777 --> 00:36:53,632 completely... 1034 00:36:54,012 --> 00:36:56,439 loveable. 1035 00:36:56,713 --> 00:36:58,829 (Sobbing) 1036 00:37:03,420 --> 00:37:04,576 (Spits) 1037 00:37:04,607 --> 00:37:07,817 Burn in hell, you witch! 1038 00:37:08,119 --> 00:37:11,075 (Sobbing) 1039 00:37:17,209 --> 00:37:19,637 All of you, just burn in hell! 1040 00:37:25,184 --> 00:37:26,684 Damn, that was good. 1041 00:37:27,424 --> 00:37:29,624 (Man): We can use that in a promo. 1042 00:37:29,913 --> 00:37:31,514 Rachel's back. 1043 00:37:33,201 --> 00:37:35,719 What did I tell you? 1044 00:37:35,751 --> 00:37:37,970 You always make it work. 1045 00:37:38,196 --> 00:37:40,921 (Sighs) 1046 00:37:54,389 --> 00:37:57,518 Oh, hey. So, how was your first night? 1047 00:37:57,551 --> 00:38:00,650 (Chuckles) Crazy. I'm so tired. 1048 00:38:00,684 --> 00:38:03,168 I don't think I peed or sat down once all night. 1049 00:38:03,201 --> 00:38:04,778 Yeah, that's how it goes. 1050 00:38:04,864 --> 00:38:07,281 You know, adrenaline makes some people loco. 1051 00:38:07,369 --> 00:38:09,202 Yeah. Um... 1052 00:38:09,234 --> 00:38:12,091 I kind of heard some talk today about Rachel. 1053 00:38:13,273 --> 00:38:15,716 Jeremy never told you what happened? 1054 00:38:16,146 --> 00:38:17,721 Really? 1055 00:38:17,753 --> 00:38:19,608 Well, you're his fianc?e. 1056 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,619 You should see it, 'cause it's epic. 1057 00:38:22,652 --> 00:38:24,732 (Chuckles) 1058 00:38:28,218 --> 00:38:31,101 Claire, the last eight weeks have been the best of my life. 1059 00:38:31,134 --> 00:38:32,252 The things that we've shared, 1060 00:38:32,284 --> 00:38:35,757 the experiences that we've had, have brought us so close. 1061 00:38:35,847 --> 00:38:39,056 Other things that we did, the... 1062 00:38:39,089 --> 00:38:41,214 Rachel, no! (Sighs) 1063 00:38:41,246 --> 00:38:42,273 past... 1064 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,104 - What is she doing? - I don't know. 1065 00:38:44,136 --> 00:38:46,474 This job... 1066 00:38:46,887 --> 00:38:49,620 this job is Satan's asshole! 1067 00:38:49,653 --> 00:38:50,720 - Rachel, don't do this! - What are you doing? 1068 00:38:50,751 --> 00:38:52,047 - Are you crazy? - I... 1069 00:38:52,078 --> 00:38:53,596 - Oh, hell. - Are you at of your mind? 1070 00:38:53,628 --> 00:38:56,801 You. My God, you... Claire. 1071 00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:58,718 Claire, you're somebody's child. 1072 00:38:58,750 --> 00:39:00,239 (Quinn): No, Rachel, Rachel, don't do this! 1073 00:39:00,270 --> 00:39:01,282 - Hm? - What are you doing? 1074 00:39:01,313 --> 00:39:03,911 - Don't do this. - Let her go. 1075 00:39:04,479 --> 00:39:05,791 He's about to dump you. 1076 00:39:05,822 --> 00:39:07,108 - (Groans) - No. 1077 00:39:07,140 --> 00:39:08,795 - Is that true?! - No, no! 1078 00:39:08,827 --> 00:39:09,915 You're dumping me?! 1079 00:39:10,001 --> 00:39:11,384 (All shouting) 1080 00:39:11,504 --> 00:39:12,637 Oh, my God. 1081 00:39:12,723 --> 00:39:14,357 They didn't air this. 1082 00:39:14,389 --> 00:39:16,844 No, no, they cut crazy pants 1083 00:39:16,877 --> 00:39:19,183 and made it look like the dumped girl goes mental... 1084 00:39:19,215 --> 00:39:21,233 huge finale ratings. 1085 00:39:21,265 --> 00:39:23,519 I swear, Rachel slips in shit and lands in money. 1086 00:39:23,552 --> 00:39:25,246 Give me the keys! Don't! Hey, hey, hey! 1087 00:39:25,278 --> 00:39:26,616 (Engine turns over) 1088 00:39:26,702 --> 00:39:28,335 Hey! Hey, stop! Stop! I'm not gonna move. 1089 00:39:28,423 --> 00:39:29,477 - (Engine revs) - No, no. 1090 00:39:29,508 --> 00:39:30,757 You're taking me with you. 1091 00:39:30,878 --> 00:39:33,762 Wait, wait. Rach! Rachel! Wait! 1092 00:39:34,997 --> 00:39:36,552 We can use that. 1093 00:39:36,584 --> 00:39:37,682 Hey, Jeremy. 1094 00:39:37,713 --> 00:39:40,276 Crazy in the head, crazy in bed, right? 1095 00:39:53,225 --> 00:39:54,558 What? 1096 00:39:54,589 --> 00:39:56,667 None of you have ever had a bad day? 1097 00:39:56,699 --> 00:39:58,020 (Sighs) 1098 00:39:58,052 --> 00:39:59,832 Get out. 1099 00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:03,365 All right, come on, you guys, let's go sign out. 1100 00:40:03,397 --> 00:40:06,683 Hey, uh, yeah, you just... you didn't have to do that. 1101 00:40:06,716 --> 00:40:10,536 Yes, I did. I need your head in the game. 1102 00:40:11,190 --> 00:40:14,163 Okay, um, can you just sign this paperwork 1103 00:40:14,253 --> 00:40:16,670 saying that I showed up to work on time and sober? 1104 00:40:16,757 --> 00:40:18,841 'Cause, um, I have to catch a bus 1105 00:40:18,929 --> 00:40:21,279 to community service, and then therapy. 1106 00:40:21,311 --> 00:40:24,573 Oh, my God, it hurts, actually, to be this fabulous. 1107 00:40:24,607 --> 00:40:26,941 Actually, you don't. I handled it. 1108 00:40:26,974 --> 00:40:28,996 You handled what, Quinn? 1109 00:40:30,052 --> 00:40:32,286 What? The D.U.I., or grand theft auto? 1110 00:40:32,374 --> 00:40:35,064 Because neither of those things can actually be handled. 1111 00:40:35,097 --> 00:40:37,764 And yet it's handled. 1112 00:40:38,990 --> 00:40:42,740 All right, um, look, the therapy was actually kind of helping. 1113 00:40:42,829 --> 00:40:45,196 Uh, one, you're fine, and, two, 1114 00:40:45,285 --> 00:40:47,535 I had the courts transfer your "psychiatric care" 1115 00:40:47,622 --> 00:40:48,788 to Wagerstein. 1116 00:40:48,820 --> 00:40:50,592 To Wagerstein? 1117 00:40:50,679 --> 00:40:52,406 That woman's crazy. 1118 00:40:52,438 --> 00:40:54,934 That woman is here, okay? 1119 00:40:55,021 --> 00:40:56,959 So you can go whenever you want. 1120 00:40:58,621 --> 00:41:00,894 I need my dragon well-rested. 1121 00:41:04,084 --> 00:41:05,722 You know, if you really wanted me well-rested, 1122 00:41:05,754 --> 00:41:08,411 you could, um... you could just get the show 1123 00:41:08,444 --> 00:41:10,772 to drop the charges. 1124 00:41:11,221 --> 00:41:13,267 I mean, you guys got the car back, 1125 00:41:13,299 --> 00:41:16,415 and... and I'm... and I'm paying off all of the damages, and... 1126 00:41:16,449 --> 00:41:17,682 (Sighs) 1127 00:41:17,819 --> 00:41:19,151 You know, the threat of jail time, 1128 00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,607 that's not exactly helping me sleep at night. 1129 00:41:23,381 --> 00:41:25,365 I know. 1130 00:41:25,397 --> 00:41:26,618 But before I can do that, 1131 00:41:26,704 --> 00:41:29,521 I need to see that you have learned from this, 1132 00:41:30,072 --> 00:41:31,711 and that you can change. 1133 00:41:31,849 --> 00:41:34,132 Believe it or not... 1134 00:41:34,390 --> 00:41:35,687 I care about you. 1135 00:41:36,045 --> 00:41:37,890 (Scoffs) 1136 00:41:38,131 --> 00:41:39,253 That's funny, 'cause right now, 1137 00:41:39,284 --> 00:41:41,865 it feels a little like blackmail. 1138 00:41:44,794 --> 00:41:46,263 (Man): How far do you want that track? 1139 00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:48,046 All right. 1140 00:41:51,475 --> 00:41:54,290 - Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. - Oh. 1141 00:41:55,147 --> 00:41:56,930 Thank you. 1142 00:42:03,070 --> 00:42:04,351 Don't say anything. 1143 00:42:04,383 --> 00:42:06,839 - I wasn't gonna say anything. - Yeah, but you're talking. 1144 00:42:06,871 --> 00:42:10,993 - It's in your head. - Sleeplessly embracing 1145 00:42:11,028 --> 00:42:13,238 - All right, people, listen up! - Butterflies 1146 00:42:13,270 --> 00:42:15,211 - And needles line - Steven Scott! 1147 00:42:15,244 --> 00:42:16,897 Here. 1148 00:42:16,928 --> 00:42:18,799 - Jim Leblanc! - (Jim): Here. 1149 00:42:18,832 --> 00:42:22,256 Rachel Goldberg! Rachel Goldberg! 1150 00:42:22,289 --> 00:42:25,638 Oh, that... that's me. Uh... 1151 00:42:26,005 --> 00:42:27,310 Hm. 1152 00:42:27,342 --> 00:42:28,640 - Sleeplessly embracing - Danny Price! 1153 00:42:28,671 --> 00:42:29,991 (Danny): Here. 1154 00:42:30,023 --> 00:42:33,105 (Woman): All right, ladies. Head up to your rooms. 1155 00:42:35,993 --> 00:42:37,929 Hunger of the pine 1156 00:42:37,962 --> 00:42:39,278 What's going on? 1157 00:42:39,309 --> 00:42:41,262 Just shut up. 1158 00:42:43,223 --> 00:42:45,672 (Sighs) 1159 00:42:45,722 --> 00:42:50,272 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 80826

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.