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The Middle
Season 2 Episode 04
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Teenagers here in the middle
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are just like teenagers around the world.
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They're stupid.
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Hey, kid, you mind taking a break on that thing?
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We're trying to eat here.
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Whatever.
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They're so stupid,
they'll even show up on a school day
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at the very place they know
their dad goes to eat lunch.
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Axl?
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Oh. Hey.
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What are you doing here?
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You skipping school?
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No, for your information,
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I am not skipping school.
I'm suspended.
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- For what?
- Skipping school.
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See, this is why I didn't tell you.
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I knew you wouldn't be cool about it. God!
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Mom, did you know that there was
this magic kit in the hall closet?
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Why didn't anybody tell me?
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Wow. The old magic kit. You found it.
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Damn. I thought I got rid of that stupid magic kit.
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It was annoying when Axl did it.
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It was annoying when Sue did it.
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I could only imagine with Brick.
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You're always on me to make friends,
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and what better way than through
the amazing world of illusion?
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Amazing world of illusion.
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Let me practise a trick on you.
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Not now, Brick. I gotta finish cleaning
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all these smelly cross-country uniforms,
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then I gotta go buy healthy snacks for the meet,
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'cause apparently the half a box of doughnuts
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that I stole from work shows a lack of effort.
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Wow. No wonder you're stressed.
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Thank you. I am.
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You need some entertainment.
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I hold before you a coin
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from the lost city of Atlantis.
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With this coin, I...
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I hold before you a coin
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from the lost city of Atlantis.
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With this coin,
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I will attempt...
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I sense you're losing interest.
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Just get to the trick, Brick.
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I hold before you a c...
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Mom, you're not gonna believe it.
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The worst thing happened today.
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The school board has to trim their budget,
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and everyone's saying that cross-country
is the sport that's gonna get cut.
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Oh, Sue. No, they can't do that.
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You will be left in awe
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as you watch this coin transported...
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Your patience is requested.
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How can they even think about cutting cross-country?
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We're all getting so close.
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Like, the other day, one of my
team-mates called me "Sandy. "
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That's practically "Sue. "
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Well, they can't do this.
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No way. We are not taking this lying down.
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Thanks, mom. I knew you'd say that.
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There's this marathon school board meeting
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on Wednesday to discuss the cutbacks.
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A meeting?
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Cross-country's either at the beginning or the end.
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I don't know which,
so we'll just have to go for the whole thing.
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Go, XC! That's cross-country.
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Go ahead, Axl.
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Tell her what you did. Tell her.
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I hold in my hand a coin...
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Oh, the magic kit.
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I thought we got rid of that thing.
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He found it. What did you do?
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Okay, first of all,
that cafeteria is unsanitary,
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so Troy and Fitz dared me and Darrin to
sneak off school grounds for lunch,
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and Darrin's like, "It's on!"
and I was like, "It's so on, "
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and Darrin's like, "Yeah, "
and I'm like, "Hell, yeah!"
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so Darrin's all driving,
and I'm all in the trunk,
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then we feast at Joe's subs,
and everything's cool
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until we sneak back to school,
and I'm still in the trunk,
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and Darrin's sexting this girl
that he's never gonna get.
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He forgets I'm in there.
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Three hours later, the vice-principal hears my screams,
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and now they want to make an example out of me,
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because I wouldn't follow their totally unfair rule,
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so I'm suspended for five days. Eh.
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Suspended?
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Okay. This is not good.
We do not get suspended.
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Wait. Why are we just now finding out about this?
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Well, they sent home a note, but you're always
talking about how busy you are,
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so I signed it for you. You're welcome.
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You're gonna wanna remove yourself
from my line of vision.
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Now.
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Suspended?
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I got it!
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Wow. That's incredible, Brick.
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It's in your other hand.
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What? I could see it.
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You know, I'm kinda relieved
this is all out in the open.
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I didn't like lying to you guys,
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and now I don't have to pretend to go to school.
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I can just hang out here and watch tv.
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Suspension is supposed to be a punishment, Axl.
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Oh, it is. There's nothing good on.
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All right. That's it.
You're not laying around this house
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all week like you're on vacation.
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Starting tomorrow,
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you're gonna spend every day of
your suspension with me at the quarry.
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And guess what? You're being put to work.
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What? This is so not fair.
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When I turn 30, I am so outta here.
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So the next day, Axl started work at t
he quarry as part of his punishment.
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Did you alphabetize those?
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It was a punishment all right, but for who?
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This computer is so slow.
I'm gonna speed it up for ya.
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Uh-oh. Some numbers went away.
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Get up, get up, get up!
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Two weeks to fix a front loader?
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That's too long, Fred. We're not...
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We're not gonna make our delivery dates.
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We're down to two front loaders,
and that's just not...
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Congratulations, dad. Your plan's working,
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'cause I can't wait to go back to school.
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If I had to work at that place every day,
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I'd pack a lunch box full of poison.
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If you had to work there every day,
I might need to share.
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I'm serious. That place is lame.
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Hey. Watch it.
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That quarry is filled with hardworking people
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trying to provide for their families.
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It puts a roof over your head and clothes on your back.
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And you might as well get used to it,
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because you're stuck there for two more days.
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Actually, it's three more days.
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Oh.
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Do you think Axl might just be an idiot?
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Mike.
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No, I'm serious. Is he an idiot?
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Is our kid an idiot?
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'Cause I'm starting to seriously
wonder if he's an idiot.
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You can't call your kid an idiot.
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The books say you're not supposed to.
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Well, I know that. It's just...
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There's usually a lot of hours in the day...
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When he's at school that we don't see him,
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but I was with him, Frankie.
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I-I watched him all day long, and...
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I'm worried.
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Remember how smart he used to be?
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Then the hormones kicked in.
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It's like they fritzed out his brain.
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Well, tomorrow I'm gonna bust his ass,
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and he's gonna learn some respect for hard work.
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Does it have to be tomorrow?
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Can't you get off work and go to the school
board meeting instead of me?
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They listen to tall people.
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You'll be fine.
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You go down there,
you make your case for cross-country,
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and if it doesn't work out, it's not your fault.
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You tried.
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It is my fault.
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No, it's not. Go to sleep.
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It is my fault, Mike. It's all my fault.
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What are you talking about?
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I prayed for cross-country to go away.
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What?
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I prayed for it to go away. I just...
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I've just been so resentful of it!
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I have to do everything.
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I bring water. I bring snacks.
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I-I make endless signs for fans who never show.
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And why should they? It's boring. It's so boring.
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Meet's cancelled. Someone saw a bobcat on the trail.
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I mean, I never meant it to happen.
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I was at church last Sunday
praying for all the things
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you're supposed to pray for- Haiti, Pakistan...
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And then cross-country just pops into my head.
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I tried to stop it, but it was too late.
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The message was already sent.
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And the next day Sue comes in and
says cross-country's gonna be cut.
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Oh, God.
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What kind of mother prays for something like that?
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Frankie, they're 0-and-12.
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If God does want to cut cross-country,
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it's only 'cause he's a benevolent God
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and he wants to put it out of its misery.
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But maybe I brought them to his attention.
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Cross-country might not get cut,
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and then you'll see that God doesn't
get involved in sports,
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'cause if he did, The Colts would've
won the super bowl last year.
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So two hours and eleven minutes in
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I suddenly remembered what
I hated about these parent meetings...
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The parents.
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You can't cut wrestling.
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My son needs an outlet.
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He has anger management issues!
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Wrestling is safe. We're not cutting the real sports.
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Then why am I here?
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Moron.
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My child, Tabitha Hockman- Stand up, Tabitha...
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Is extremely gifted,
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but she hasn't been placed in the gifted class.
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What is your question?
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Why hasn't my daughter been placed in the gifted class?
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Sit down!
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Okay, uh, listen, we're-we're all concerned parents here,
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but I think instead of getting up
and just talking about our own kids,
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we should take a deep breath and really talk
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about what's best for the school, the community,
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even the world.
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Thank you.
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So... Thinking globally,
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I don't think we should cut cross-country, because...
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Her kid's in cross-country!
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- Cut it. Cut it!
- What?
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Cut it? Why don't we cut chess club?
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Do we really need a whole club for chess?
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You can play chess on your phone.
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You leave chess out of this!
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My kid's got asthma.
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He can't play a regular sport!
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Have you seen the cross-country team?
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I think your kid would fit right in.
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You don't know me! You don't know my Robert!
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Don't you even say his name!
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What, Robert? Robert, Robert, Robert!
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I have something to say.
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My name is Sue Heck, and I'm on cross-country.
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I've never been on a team before,
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but I sure have tried out for a lot.
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I tried out for show choir, gymnastics,
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tennis, flags, volleyball, baton...
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Oh, right. And tumbling.
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But then a team came along that let me in.
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Cross-country is no-cut.
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It's the only sport that takes everybody.
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Don't any of you remember how horrible junior high can be
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if you don't have something...
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The panic that hits you in the lunchroom
when no one will sit with you,
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even if you pretend to have an English accent
to seem more interesting?
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It's a den of wolves, you guys.
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Don't cut cross-country,
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because cross-country would never cut you.
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00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,870
All in favor of cutting cross-country, say, "aye. "
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- Aye.
- Okay...
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It's unanimous. Cross-country is cut.
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What?!
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Though that was a heck of a speech.
You should be on the debate club.
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00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:15,910
Oh, but we cut that yesterday.
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Is this so I don't hit my head
when I fall asleep from boredom?
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I feel bad that you were a little bored yesterday,
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so today I thought I could make things
a little more interesting for you.
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Put it on.
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00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,060
Boys, why don't you take my son
here down to the hole?
256
00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:35,730
The hole? What happens there?
257
00:10:35,890 --> 00:10:38,610
Your worst nightmare- Hard work.
258
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,650
Keep your eyes open, home slice.
259
00:10:40,780 --> 00:10:42,900
We don't want you wandering into a blast zone.
260
00:10:43,130 --> 00:10:45,420
Uh... So is this hole, like, a hole,
261
00:10:45,570 --> 00:10:46,810
or do you just call it that?
262
00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:48,600
Chuck's right. Be safe out there.
263
00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:49,990
Safety's my middle name.
264
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,500
Actually, it's Zeke, but you know what I mean.
265
00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:56,060
Gentlemen, we are cocked, locked, and ready to rock!
266
00:10:56,940 --> 00:10:57,990
Let's roll.
267
00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,570
- Come on.
- Dad?
268
00:11:05,010 --> 00:11:07,030
I couldn't believe it.
269
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,320
I'd accidentally prayed away my daughter's happiness.
270
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,340
And if my guilt wasn't enough,
271
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,210
God had found a new way to punish me.
272
00:11:18,390 --> 00:11:21,330
This hat once belonged to the great Harry Houdini!
273
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:22,700
Not now, Brick, okay?
274
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,700
But it's not just a hat.
275
00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:28,230
It's also a portal to another dimension in time.
276
00:11:28,510 --> 00:11:31,590
Prepare to be amazed as this household item
277
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:35,600
is torn from our place
in the time-space continuum!
278
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:40,490
Wow. That's a good one.
279
00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:41,910
With your indulgence,
280
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:44,750
I will summon the remote back from oblivion!
281
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,070
Okay. Where is it?
282
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,280
I don't know.
283
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:54,570
You don't know?
284
00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:57,350
That's not funny, Brick.
We need that remote.
285
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,530
What are we supposed to eat dinner to, the radio?
286
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,560
I'll summon it after my nap.
287
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:10,530
Hey, honey.
288
00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:12,500
How ya doin'?
289
00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:15,440
Well, I cleaned out my cross-country locker,
290
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,200
and then I tried to have everyone sign my jersey,
291
00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:19,610
but the only one there was the lady janitor.
292
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:21,270
It was nice, though.
293
00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:23,950
She signed it, "keep it clean. Viv. "
294
00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:25,880
hey.
295
00:12:26,350 --> 00:12:28,780
I stopped on the way home and got you somethin'.
296
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,070
I can't. I don't deserve.
297
00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:34,210
I did something selfish and wrong.
298
00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:37,460
Before the meeting, I prayed to God
to save cross-country.
299
00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:38,870
You did?
300
00:12:39,070 --> 00:12:40,980
There's so much bad stuff going on in the world,
301
00:12:41,130 --> 00:12:43,140
and I just prayed for myself.
302
00:08:04,294 --> 00:12:46,020
I'm a selfish, horrible person.
303
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,170
I don't deserve cross-country,
and I don't deserve a cupcake.
304
00:12:49,430 --> 00:12:50,770
But thanks, anyway.
305
00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:54,110
People pray for all kinds of things
they don't mean to pray for...
306
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,100
Good people who don't mean any harm.
307
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,530
Well...
308
00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,630
Maybe I'll just have one bite.
309
00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:13,240
So then Dave let me drive
this earthmover, which was awesome.
310
00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,690
And chuck has been blowing stuff up since he was 18.
311
00:13:15,860 --> 00:13:17,190
You know, he can barely hear anymore,
312
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:20,420
but he says that his sense of sight
got stronger to make up for it.
313
00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:23,090
I doubt that, but... Interesting theory.
314
00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:26,070
Sorry what I said yesterday about
everything being lame and stuff.
315
00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:27,260
They seem like good guys.
316
00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:28,220
They work hard.
317
00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:29,490
Yeah, they make good money, too.
318
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:30,990
Chuck's got his own place out by the river...
319
00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:34,040
50-inch flat screen, pet snake, his own fog machine...
320
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:37,380
You know, Axl, I wasn't bringing
you to work just to punish you.
321
00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:39,350
I was hoping you'd learn something.
322
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:40,470
Oh, I did.
323
00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:42,830
I learned, I shouldn't sweat school so much, you know?
324
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,130
I figure I can always get a job
at the quarry right out of high school.
325
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:45,980
Wait. What?
326
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,200
And then I wouldn't need college.
327
00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:48,560
Chuck didn't go to college.
328
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,280
Uh, hang on. That's not at all what I was...
329
00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,880
Yo, Ax-man.
330
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:58,640
I'm going to grab a burger.
331
00:13:58,830 --> 00:13:59,860
You wanna roll?
332
00:14:00,050 --> 00:14:03,050
Hells, yeah! Later, Dad.
333
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,470
Rock on, boss man.
334
00:14:20,740 --> 00:14:22,510
Hey. Where's Axl?
335
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:23,960
Did you leave him at the quarry?
336
00:14:24,110 --> 00:14:25,400
You mean, the Ax-man?
337
00:14:25,630 --> 00:14:28,080
He's grabbing some burgage with chuck.
338
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:29,950
Who's chuck?
339
00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:32,420
I Don't wanna talk about it.
340
00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:35,050
Hey, Sorry about cross-country.
341
00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,790
It's horrible, Mike. It's just horrible.
342
00:14:37,990 --> 00:14:40,160
Nobody tells you how hard it is to be parents.
343
00:14:40,410 --> 00:14:42,980
'course not. If they told you, nobody would do it.
344
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:45,210
It's called "punishing it forward. "
345
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:46,790
Where's the remote?
346
00:14:46,980 --> 00:14:50,580
Brick put it into a hat and transported it
into another dimension.
347
00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:52,610
It was pretty impressive, actually.
348
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:54,120
Brick, get in here!
349
00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:57,110
We should've buried that magic kit
in the yard when we had the chance.
350
00:14:57,820 --> 00:15:00,430
Brick, fun's over. I need the remote.
I need it bad.
351
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,170
I've been looking everywhere.
352
00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:05,300
You might want to expand your search
beyond the inside of that hat.
353
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,330
Dad, no offense,
354
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,280
but you don't know what you're talking about.
355
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,090
You haven't read the box.
356
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:14,050
Mike didn't believe in magic.
357
00:15:14,370 --> 00:15:16,750
He didn't believe that I'd made cross-country disappear,
358
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:20,010
but I knew the truth, and the guilt was gnawing at me.
359
00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:22,880
I had to do something.
360
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,590
Hey, I only have a second,
361
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,830
but I just wanted to touch base with you again.
362
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:32,440
Maybe there's some greater purpose
for Sue not being on cross-country,
363
00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:35,240
'cause maybe she'll do something even more great now.
364
00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:37,020
Yeah, I know.
365
00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:39,620
But could you just reverse my previous prayer
366
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,060
and replace it with this one?
367
00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:44,980
Please, please, please bring back cross-country.
368
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:46,940
Oh, and we lost our remote,
369
00:15:47,090 --> 00:15:49,000
but that's, like,
an "if you can get to it" kind of thing.
370
00:15:49,910 --> 00:15:51,410
Ah! There you are!
371
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,210
Mr. Ehlert, what are you doing?
372
00:15:53,350 --> 00:15:55,570
You think you're the first lady I've seen on the john?
373
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,900
S. Ehlert hasn't shut the door in 30 years!
374
00:15:59,220 --> 00:16:00,780
I've got a stain on my tie,
375
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,530
and I need you to get it out.
376
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:05,070
Honestly, Frances, what's wrong with you?
377
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:08,200
Lately you've been even more useless than usual.
378
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:10,410
I'm sorry, Mr. Ehlert. The thing is,
379
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,630
my daughter's cross-country team has been cut,
380
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,700
and it's the first thing she ever made...
381
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,980
So I told him the whole story from beginning to end.
382
00:16:18,630 --> 00:16:21,690
I knew Mr. Ehlert hated hearing
about personal problems,
383
00:16:21,890 --> 00:16:23,640
but as long as I had him by the tie,
384
00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:25,350
he kinda had to listen.
385
00:16:26,870 --> 00:16:28,220
Next.
386
00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:31,410
Next. Next.
387
00:16:31,630 --> 00:16:33,720
Uh... Wait. Go back.
Next.
388
00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:35,810
My arm's getting tired.
389
00:16:36,010 --> 00:16:38,800
Well, presto, when you find my remote, you can stop.
390
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:42,330
Look at this. Look at this!
391
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:44,820
Never underestimate the power of prayer.
392
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:48,030
Mr. Ehlert just wrote me a check to
save Sue's cross-country team.
393
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,900
What? Ehlert gave you money?
394
00:16:51,130 --> 00:16:52,430
- Is he dying?
- I don't know.
395
00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:55,620
Maybe. How great is this? Sue!
396
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,180
Glad to see you're catching up on your schoolwork.
397
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:03,430
For now. But chuck says it's easy to drop out.
398
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:04,890
Can you call the school and find out if there's
399
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,700
some special papers we need to sign?
400
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,460
My God. You're too lazy to even drop out yourself.
401
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,690
No. Chuck says it's not that hard,
402
00:17:11,850 --> 00:17:14,720
and chuck says the last couple years
of high school are sort of a waste anyway,
403
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:16,150
- and chuck says that if
- All right.
404
00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:18,200
That's it. I got something to show you.
405
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:19,740
Grab your coat.
406
00:17:19,910 --> 00:17:21,290
Chuck doesn't wear a coat.
407
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,290
Shut up.
408
00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,400
So you think you got it all figured out, huh?
409
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,670
You think you wanna be like chuck?
410
00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:30,600
Let's see how chuck lives.
411
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,440
Sure, he has his own place,
412
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,920
but it's a trailer he bought at a police auction.
413
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:38,220
I want you to take a good look
at the life this guy's living.
414
00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:41,540
Is this chuck's place?
415
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,910
Look at all those girls.
416
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,650
Okay, but if you look past
the really fun party, you'll see...
417
00:17:47,810 --> 00:17:50,770
There's a guy with a crossbow! Sweet!
418
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,180
Axl, hang on.
419
00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:01,040
Axl, I'm trying to make you see
420
00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:02,970
that chuck's life is not all that great.
421
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,810
Wow, what is she wearing?
422
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,350
The point is, chuck never went to college,
so chuck has no options.
423
00:18:08,530 --> 00:18:11,080
God! I'm talking about working where you work,
following in your footsteps.
424
00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:12,560
I thought that'd make you happy.
425
00:18:12,810 --> 00:18:14,150
After you finish college,
426
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,550
if you look at all your options,
427
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:17,490
and decide that the quarry
is what you want to do,
428
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,120
then great, but I want you to have choices.
429
00:18:19,260 --> 00:18:21,960
I want you to be able to
do whatever you want to do.
430
00:18:22,130 --> 00:18:23,400
That's what would make me happy.
431
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:26,500
You're acting like I haven't given
any thought to my future. I have.
432
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:27,940
- Really?
- Yeah.
433
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,450
Like, if the quarry thing doesn't work out,
434
00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:33,060
listen to this. I go on a reality show, get famous,
435
00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:36,120
and then people will pay me to wear their clothes.
436
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:38,770
Okay. You know what? You're an idiot.
437
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:39,770
Hey.
438
00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:41,650
No. You are. You're an idiot.
439
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,140
I-I tried to get creative here,
440
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:46,070
and I tried to teach you by example,
441
00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:47,380
hoping that you'd get it,
442
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:50,110
but you're too stupid to get it right now.
443
00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:52,380
I don't think you're supposed
to call your kid an idiot.
444
00:18:52,530 --> 00:18:53,380
Just an observation.
445
00:18:53,530 --> 00:18:55,390
Don't beat yourself up over it. It's not your fault.
446
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:57,060
I was an idiot at your age, too.
447
00:18:57,210 --> 00:18:59,330
So until you're no longer an idiot,
448
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,150
I will be making the decisions for you,
449
00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:03,420
and that means you're not dropping out of school,
450
00:19:03,590 --> 00:19:06,320
you're going to college, and those mutton-chops
451
00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:08,610
you talked about growing - not happening.
452
00:19:08,770 --> 00:19:10,860
Whoa. I feel like you're trying
to make me doubt myself.
453
00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:13,140
Yes. That's exactly what I'm trying to do.
454
00:19:13,310 --> 00:19:14,340
Let me make it simple.
455
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,900
Any instinct you have right now...
456
00:19:17,150 --> 00:19:18,610
Do the opposite.
457
00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:21,000
Trust me. Someday in the future,
458
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,170
when you're done being an idiot
459
00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:23,500
and you have an idiot of your own,
460
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,130
you'll come back and thank me.
461
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:29,080
So I'm guessing you're not gonna
let me go to chuck's party.
462
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:32,320
See, you're getting smarter already.
463
00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:36,180
So, like, what kind of stuff did you do?
464
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:37,300
Oh, that's not important.
465
00:19:37,490 --> 00:19:39,250
The important thing is that I turned out okay,
466
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:42,180
and I'm pretty sure you're gonna turn out okay, too.
467
00:19:43,910 --> 00:19:45,640
Pretty sure?
468
00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:48,320
75, 80%.
469
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,420
No, seriously. What kind of stuff did you do?
470
00:19:53,630 --> 00:19:55,580
My junior year, I think,
471
00:19:55,850 --> 00:19:59,110
and my buddy Greg and I decided that it might be fun
472
00:19:59,290 --> 00:20:01,980
to jump off an overpass onto a moving bus.
473
00:20:02,150 --> 00:20:03,090
Have I ever met Greg?
474
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,430
No, you haven't.
475
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:06,530
The truth is, as a parent,
476
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,900
you're gonna end up using everything in your arsenal...
477
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:12,220
Common sense, prayer, even a little magic.
478
00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:15,140
'Cause in this universe, some things are explainable,
479
00:20:15,350 --> 00:20:17,380
like why the most selfish man in the whole world
480
00:20:17,510 --> 00:20:19,870
would end up paying for a girls' cross-country team...
481
00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:31,400
And some things are unexplainable.
482
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,600
The Middle
Season 2 Episode 04
483
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,830
Want to see some real magic?
484
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:37,050
I just bought this universal remote.
485
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:38,850
Once I open the package
486
00:20:39,110 --> 00:20:40,560
it's not returnable.
487
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,350
Now watch carefully,
488
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:43,960
as I open it up,
489
00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:45,090
and...
490
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,690
Found it
491
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:50,700
-=bbs. sfileydy. com=-
Proudly Presents
492
00:20:50,750 --> 00:21:00,750
-=bbs. sfileydy. com=-
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493
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:05,350
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