All language subtitles for The Middle s01e13 The Interview.eng

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FRANKIE:
Some days are just like any other day.

Okay. Commercial.

Let's hear about everybody's day.
I'll go first.

I went to work, filled my purse with
doughnuts, didn't sell a car, came home.

- There's doughnuts?
- I hit a lot of red lights on the way back.

- All right, next.
- I didn't make the chess team.

Turns out it's nothing like checkers.

I finally sneezed this eraser
out of my nose.

- Ew.
- I did stuff. Whatever.

- I found a dinosaur bone.
- What?

Then again,
some days really surprise you.

MIKE: Yeah, I was
in the south end of the quarry.

All of a sudden, I looked down,
and there's this gnarled claw-bone thing.

SUE: Awesome.
BRICK: Cool.

- That's not lame.
MIKE: Yeah.

I'll call the college,
have them come pick it up.

What? You're gonna let them take credit
for your discovery?

Mike, this is a big deal.

SUE:
You should call the Orson Herald.

Maybe they'll put your picture
in the paper.

Oh, they don't want my picture.

Well, they did that whole article...

...on the guy who found
the chicken nugget shaped like Texas.

I think you'll get in.

So Mike called the Orson Herald,
who called the local news...

...who called the national news.

And just like that...

So we gotta shut down for four months
to let the paleontologists dig.

[ALL MURMURING]

Mike was out of a job.

Oh, you're home early.

And you made dinner.
What a nice surprise.

Yeah, well,
it's really more of a bad surprise.

Oh, you forgot ketchup.
Oh, this sucks.

I'm out of a job.

- What?
AXL: Wait.

Ha, ha. Found it.
It was under the French fries.

[WHISTLES]

They're closing the quarry so scientists
can come in and dig up the rest of it.

- Dude.
- Yeah.

Oh, my God, you lost your job?

- Are we gonna be okay?
- Don't worry,

- It's just a few months.
FRANKIE: We'll be fine.

MIKE: Absolutely.
- Nothing to worry about.

Hey, Mike, can I see you
in the kitchen for a sec?

- Oh, my God, Mike. We're screwed.
- Oh, yeah.

I would not wanna be us right now. At least
things are picking up at the dealership.

That's something I say
when the kids are in the room.

We can't afford you
being out of work right now.

What are you gonna do?

Well, I thought I might travel a little bit,
bike around Europe.

What do you think?
I'm gonna find another job.

- I got a lot of skills. I'm not worried.
- Okay.

Then I'm not either.

Mom. Sign this.

You're running for school historian?

What?
I thought you'd want me to run.

Every time you sign up
for something...

...I end up doing it.
- That's not true.

Mom, I entered the science fair.

[FRANKIE SIGHS]

We're having a party
for Mr. Peterson's retirement.

I signed up to write him a song.

[SINGING]
Mr. Peterson, you were really fun

We're gonna miss you a ton
Mr. Peterson

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

You won't have to do a thing this time.
I promise.

All I need is your signature.

Or I could have Axl do your signature.

He's really good at it.

[SIGHS]

MIKE:
Hey, here's a job.

"Paleontologist's assistant.
Must have Master's degree."

That's not fair.

You're qualified.
You found the damn thing.

Trust me. There's no jobs out there,
no matter how awesome you may be.

MIKE:
Mm.

Seriously. I texted my r�sum�
to like three places last week.

You can't text your r�sum� places.

- Times like these, you gotta get out there.
- Yeah.

- Finding a job is a job.
- I'd like to quit that job.

The only way to quit that job
is to get a job.

And that's why you're going with me
to the Orson Job Fair this weekend.

Oh, God,
when do I get time for myself?

Job fair? More like unfair.

When a fine young man like that
can't get a job...

...what hope is there
for the rest of us?

FRANKIE: And so Mike
was officially on the job hunt.

And he did look pretty snazzy
in his funeral blazer.

MIKE:
Is this the line just to get in?

Wow, lot of people looking for jobs.

This is lame.
I'm the only one here under 100.

Hey, where's your r�sum�s?
How do you expect to get interviews?

I'm on an interview
with a guy from the theater.

You wanna see a picture
of his dog puking? Heh.

Oh, look, it's Indiana Bones.

If you find anything on the ground,
don't tell this guy.

My interview's going great.
How do you spell "scrotum"?

Oh, Brick, this says your campaign fliers
are due tomorrow.

- Oh, really?
- Fliers are super important, Brick.

I did fliers
when I lost for student council...

...and when I lost for Teen Board...

...and when I lost
for Junior High Homecoming Court.

I don't think you get it.

But I can't get them done by tomorrow.
I need paper and a copier and...

Oh, no, what am I gonna do?

Oh, no. Don't look at me.

If you forgot to make fliers...

...then you'll just be
the candidate without fliers.

You know the deal, pal.
You are on your own. I am not doing it.

Ooh, personal copies on company time?
Daddy likes a bad girl.

Yeah, Mommy likes to keep her job,
so could you watch the door?

Sure. Don't worry, I'm cool.

Sometimes I sit on Mr. Ehlert's desk
with no pants on. Yep.

[WHISPERS]
Every day a little victory.

[CHATTERING]

No funnel cake? No rides?
Ah, this fair sucks.

Let's just get our jobs
and get out of here.

Axl, this is what you gotta do
to get a job.

Now, watch and learn.

Welcome to CFB Consulting.
I'm Charles F. Barnes, a.k.a. CFB.

- Hi, Mike Heck.
- Well, Mike, let's see that r�sum�.

I'd say you have a major font problem.

- What?
- Ah. It's a little dry.

I can give your r�sum�
a complete makeover for $100.

If you want a more comprehensive
career consultation...

...my weekend packages
start at $500.

It's a better price
than any of these other booths.

Wait.

This is a racket.
There are no jobs here.

You just lure people who are out of work
so you can sell them crap they can't afford.

Just trying to make a living.

That's not how you get a job.

- There wasn't anything else in the paper.
- Paper. Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, that's hilarious.
You know how I got my last job?

My friend friended
this other dude who IM'd me saying:

"You want this job at Barnacles?"

I'm like, "Yeah, whatever."
He's like, "Cool." And I'm like, "Sweet."

I can stop worrying
about America now.

That's how it's done, Dad.
You gotta get online.

Right about then, Mike was starting
to feel a bit like a dinosaur himself.

- Axl.
- What?

This company's taking job applications
online. I need your help.

Oh.

You need a consult with the Ax Man,
do you?

Yeah, I'm never calling you that.
How do I get this onto that?

You save it as a PDF and upload it.

[SIGHS]

- There.
- That's it?

Thanks.

Axl.

What?

They need a e-mail address.

I only have the one at work
and that's down. What's yours?

Rockinfreakshow@grungemail.com.

Here's your fliers. I'm out.

You're actually doing your poster
on your own?

Yup. And I'm done.

Walk away.
Just turn around and walk away.

[COMPUTER CHIMES]

- Axl.
- What?

I got a interview.

Sweet.

- You got an interview?
- Yes, I did.

Honey, get me my tie.

Okay. But what are we gonna yank
to turn the basement light on?

Once I get this job, baby...

...I'm gonna get you the best
light-bulb chain money can buy.

Aw.

Hi, I'm Mike Heck.

Ah, yes.

The rockinfreakshow.

Please, sit down.

So tell me, Mike.
What brings you to Hoosier Grain?

Well, you called me, told me to come in.
And here I am.

Okay, how about you tell me
a little about you?

What are three words
you would use to describe yourself?

Uh...

Tall.

Mike.

- Man?
- Okay.

Well, what would you say
is your best quality?

Tall?

What's your worst quality?

Why would I tell you that?

That would be stupid, right?
I'm trying to get a job here.

If you were a color,
what color would you be?

I guess I would stick with the color I am.
Are you even allowed to ask me that?

See, Mike couldn't play the game
the way you have to in an interview.

He didn't have it in him.

I've been a manager. I'm a hard worker.
I've never been late.

What else do you need to know?

What superhero quality would you find
most valuable to you in the workplace?

Flying, invisibility,
or stretching to extreme lengths?

FRANKIE:
So Brick forgot the fliers. Big surprise.

I guess it's kind of my fault...

...because I put them on top
of his backpack instead of inside it.

When will I learn?

Oddly enough...

...whoever defaced the poster
put more work into it than Brick did.

[GIRL LAUGHING]

Hey, pigtails. This your handiwork?

No, but it is pretty funny.

You think it's funny, huh?
I don't think it's funny.

You know why?
Because Brick's not a nerd.

Doesn't make sense. Not a good joke.

Unless it's ironic.

Is that why you're laughing?

Because of the extreme
not-nerdiness of my son?

Are you a teacher?

Oh, yeah.

You wish I was a teacher.

Your school laws don't apply to me.
Megan.

So I assume Brick can count
on your vote for historian?

[BELL RINGING]

Oh, yeah, I'm in this thing now.

[FRANKIE SIGHS]

Okay, not too neat.
It's gotta look like an 8-year-old made it.

Frankie, I took Advanced
Charcoal Sketch at the Learning Annex.

I can't unteach my hands.

Mom, I found some more markers
in the basement.

I couldn't find any clean poster board,
so I brought my old ones.

We can use the other side.

I put so much work into these.
Vicki Hanson grows boobs, and it's all over.

I was robbed.

MAN [OVER PA]:
Frankie.

Do you want a glitter border,
or is that too much?

I think that's too much.

[MAN SIGHS]

MAN:
I'm gonna need a new poster.

Mom, if I've learned anything
from my 17 non-winning campaigns...

...the poster can only get you so far.

It's really all about the speech.

[SIGHS]

- You're supposed to give a speech?
- Yeah, Thursday at 2:30.

- Three to five minutes.
- Have you written it yet?

I don't know the words yet...

...but I do know
what shirt I'm gonna wear.

[SIGHS]

Hi. How did your interview go?

Great. Really great.

Can I see you in the kitchen for a sec?

It was awful. She kept asking me
all these stupid questions...

...that had nothing to do with the job.
How do I describe myself? I don't.

It was just stupid.
It was stupid, and I told her so.

Mike, you have to learn
to play the game.

You gotta suck it up in these things.

Look, you have another
interview tomorrow...

...and whatever job they're offering you,
make them think it's your passion.

My passion is you
and the Colts and the kids.

Work is work.

You can't tell them that, Mike.

And thank you for putting me
above the Colts.

It's tough out there.
I don't know how anybody gets a job.

Hey, I got a job.
The guy from the theater texted me.

I'm working the projector.
And he says I can have girls up there.

[AXL CHUCKLES]

FRANKIE: Mike went to his next
interview ready to play the game.

So, Mike, what is it about septic tanks
that appeals to you?

Gosh, where do I begin? Uh...

I think what you do
is important for the community.

Well, there are a lot
of important jobs out there, Mike.

Why this one?

I just really like to work with my hands,
you know? Just get in there and:

Yeah.

Lot of jobs
where you can work with your hands.

Why here?

I just think of the reward
of hosing out a tank...

...and giving some lucky family
a fresh new start.

You can't ever
really get to know somebody...

...until you've gotten to know
their waste.

But why septic waste?

Because the idea of putting on
a rubber suit and goggles...

...and wading through human excrement
sounds like the adventure of a lifetime.

It's like being an astronaut here
on planet Earth.

I guess what I'm really saying is
that septic waste is my passion.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Okay, in your speech you have to say
why you wanna be school historian.

So why do you wanna be
school historian?

Just write whatever you want.

Brick, I won't always be here.

If you want something,
you have to work for it.

It doesn't just magically come to you.

Here's the rest of the posters.

I made this Brick flag,
in case you wanna wave it.

Careful, because the paint's still wet.

Hey. Brick, why are you reading?

Bob's bringing your posters.
I'm sitting here doing your speech.

Well, I didn't ask you to.

Well, somebody has to.

God, you're suffocating me!

BOB:
Hey, break it up.

Would you come with me
for a second?

Look, if he doesn't get it done,
he doesn't get it done.

It's not your job to save him.

Bob, you don't know what happened.
They already think he's a nerd.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

I was a nerd.

Uh-huh.

- Blows your mind, right?
- Yeah.

Best thing my folks ever did
was let me fail. Everything.

They didn't put training wheels
on my bike. Broke my wrist three times.

But I learned.

Now every time
I think I can't do something...

...I just listen to the click of my wrist.

Clearly, Bob had terrible,
terrible parents.

But there was a grain of truth
to what he was saying.

[FRANKIE SIGHS]

Brick, honey, I'm sorry.

It's your speech.

So write it, don't write it.
It's up to you.

Okay. I won't write it.

Thanks, Mom.

[FRANKIE SIGHS]

- Hi, honey. How was the interview?
- It went great.

Really? You don't need
to see me in the kitchen?

Nope.

Bob. What are you doing here?

- Oh, we just put the kids to bed.
- Yeah.

Thought we'd watch a little TV.

Well, can I get you a beer?

Uh, no, thanks, Bob. I got it.

Those my pajama bottoms?

Oh, yeah. I got paint on my pants.
They're in the wash.

So I grabbed a pair of yours.

I knew you'd be okay with it.

Get out, Bob.

You sure?
Because Maroon 5's on Kimmel tonight.

I don't know who that is, Bob.
Drive safe.

[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

So?

Really went well?

Killed my soul.

That's how you know
you're doing it right.

So the day of the election
had arrived...

...and I was ready
to let Brick sink or swim.

If he started sinking,
I was prepared to pull a fire alarm.

KEN:
I could be an excellent historian.

[PHONE BUZZING]

Orson Septic.

[FRANKIE GASPS]

KEN: I believe serving in
student council's the best way for me...

...to give back to the school
that has given me so much.

I would be honored
with the great privilege...

...to tell our story
for the future generations to come.

Since last year...

...I've been working day and night
to prepare...

And you sucked it up and everything.
Did he say why?

Why, yes, he did.

He said he didn't believe anyone could
be that passionate about septic tanks.

He sensed a certain falseness
in my enthusiasm.

- Oh.
KEN: Thank you.

TEACHER:
Thank you, Ken.

Our final candidate for
school historian is Brick Heck. Brick?

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

TEACHER:
Brick.

- How's his speech?
- I don't know. I didn't write it.

- What?
BRICK: Ahem.

Hi, I'm Brick Heck.

Or as most of you know me, nerd.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

I spend a lot of time locked in
lockers here at Orson Elementary.

And that's given me
a lot of time to think.

You may think I'm odd.
And maybe I am.

I'm the kid who makes you late for recess
because we have to walk in a group...

...and I'm still in the bathroom
pulling up my pants.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Sure, I talk in a Scottish accent
sometimes.

[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT]
Don't knock it till you've tried it.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] But aren't I exactly
what you want for your school historian?

Someone who has no
social connections whatsoever.

Someone
who'll take pictures of you...

...doing fun things
I have no desire to be a part of.

But the main reason
you should vote for me...

...is because I suck at basketball.

And if I'm not elected,
I will try out for the team.

Do you really want that
on your conscience?

I don't think so.

[ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

I was so worried
about trying to save Brick...

...but he saved us.

He took a day
that could've been a real lousy one...

...and turned it into one of our best.
Like I said...

...some days really surprise you.

I won.

You're kidding?

Wow, Brick, I'm so happy for you.

Mom, can I see you
in the kitchen for a sec?

Uh-huh.

I can't believe he won.

I have tried out for a million things
and I've never gotten anything.

It's just not fair.

I know it seems that way now...

...but you were right there
on the back of his poster...

...pushing him from behind.

So, in a way, it's your victory too.

Well, I'm just worried about him.

If he got the first thing he tried out for,
how is he ever gonna grow as a person?

Actually, I feel sorry for him.

We all do, honey.

How about that brother of yours, huh?

Nailed it on his first try.
God, I'm proud of that kid.

I haven't felt like this
since Axl went to regionals.

I have character.

Hey, I made dinner. Whatever.

Okay, what's this about?

Did you get suspended?
Did you crash your car?

No, I got paid and I wanted to treat.
God, you're welcome.

Thanks, buddy.

Twelve thousand more dinners
and we're even.

So Mike picked himself up
and got right back into the game.

- Honey, have you seen...?
- Shh. I'm on a interview.

Oh.

Besides, we weren't that worried
that he didn't have a job yet.

Oops. I just remembered
I'm supposed to take a picture...

...of every kid in student council
by tomorrow.

Because suddenly I had two.

Hi. Can I take a picture of, um, Tommy?

[SIGHS]

[ENGLISH - US - SDH]

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