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00:00:00,416 --> 00:00:01,450
So how are you doing, Mr.
MacArthur?
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00:00:01,584 --> 00:00:05,120
KEVIN: Pretty good. Any side effects
from the Andro-Lube? No, not really, no.
3
00:00:05,288 --> 00:00:06,838
I mean, except for the burning.
Ugh.
4
00:00:06,956 --> 00:00:08,436
Did you put it directly on
your penis?
5
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:11,176
Yes, very generously.
We had a pretty thorough
6
00:00:11,294 --> 00:00:14,096
conversation about how you
should not put it directly onto
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00:00:14,213 --> 00:00:15,931
your genitalia.
I don't recall that.
8
00:00:16,048 --> 00:00:19,079
You don't? They should probably put
that on the label. Oh, it's on there.
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00:00:19,199 --> 00:00:21,034
Did you, uh, read the label?
Nope.
10
00:00:21,201 --> 00:00:22,535
Right, but it's effective for
you?
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00:00:22,670 --> 00:00:24,871
Yes. Except, don't get it in
the hole, because then...
12
00:00:25,005 --> 00:00:26,339
You put it directly in the hole?
13
00:00:26,457 --> 00:00:28,091
Game-changing. Because I
figured, you know, why not start
14
00:00:28,208 --> 00:00:30,043
from the inside out?
Well, there are several
15
00:00:30,177 --> 00:00:31,377
medical reasons you wouldn't do
that.
16
00:00:31,545 --> 00:00:32,378
Horrible.
Uh-huh.
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00:00:32,546 --> 00:00:34,347
Should I be worried?
In very rare cases, there are
18
00:00:34,465 --> 00:00:37,300
growths and tumors, but your
blood and urine samples should
19
00:00:37,434 --> 00:00:38,885
be back soon.
In the meantime, why don't we
20
00:00:39,053 --> 00:00:44,223
just do a manual check. Lift up the
hood, see what we got. All right.
21
00:00:44,358 --> 00:00:48,194
There we go. Got any big plans for
the weekend? Wouldn't say big.
22
00:00:48,312 --> 00:00:49,562
No?
How about you?
23
00:00:49,730 --> 00:00:51,981
Heading up to Lake Geneva
this weekend with my boyfriend.
24
00:00:52,116 --> 00:00:57,070
Boyfriend? Boy... There a problem
with that, Mr. MacArthur?
25
00:00:57,237 --> 00:01:00,656
No. No, no, no, no, no.
I love gay doctors.
26
00:01:00,791 --> 00:01:05,578
Oh, do you? Yes. My ear, nose and
throat guy: gay. Like, flaming gay.
27
00:01:05,746 --> 00:01:06,963
Flaming?
Flaming!
28
00:01:07,081 --> 00:01:08,414
So you think we're all flaming?
29
00:01:08,582 --> 00:01:10,083
I wouldn't put you in the
category of flaming.
30
00:01:10,217 --> 00:01:12,001
Mm-hmm.
He's in flaming.
31
00:01:12,136 --> 00:01:13,803
You're in Anderson Cooper.
I see.
32
00:01:13,921 --> 00:01:15,588
It seems like you're taking
this the wrong way.
33
00:01:15,756 --> 00:01:17,306
I'm saying you would love this
guy.
34
00:01:17,424 --> 00:01:19,342
You're trying to set me up
with him, is that it?
35
00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:21,427
Maybe. I-I mean...
Even though I've established
36
00:01:21,595 --> 00:01:24,147
I already have a boyfriend?
Because we're all promiscuous
37
00:01:24,264 --> 00:01:26,849
and we'll just sleep with anyone
that comes along.
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00:01:26,984 --> 00:01:28,384
I thought that was one of the
perks.
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00:01:28,485 --> 00:01:30,269
I think your lab work should
give us everything we need to
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00:01:30,404 --> 00:01:33,656
know.
Have a good day, Mr. MacArthur.
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00:01:33,774 --> 00:01:37,076
Enjoy Lake Geneva.
Use protection-- sunscreen.
42
00:01:37,196 --> 00:01:41,829
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:01:41,949 --> 00:01:45,001
I know what I did was wrong, but
I just find it weird. I do.
44
00:01:45,119 --> 00:01:46,869
PETE: I disagree.
If you want the best penis
45
00:01:47,004 --> 00:01:49,372
doctor, you're not gonna find
anyone more expert than a gay
46
00:01:49,506 --> 00:01:50,746
man.
TACO: I mean, the man takes
47
00:01:50,841 --> 00:01:52,708
his work home with him.
Like me, his profession is his
48
00:01:52,843 --> 00:01:55,678
passion. JENNY: It's totally normal, Kevin.
You met my gynecologist--
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00:01:55,796 --> 00:01:58,798
single, straight guy, drives a
motorcycle, really strong hands.
50
00:01:58,966 --> 00:02:00,800
All right, all right, all
right, thank you, thank you.
51
00:02:00,934 --> 00:02:02,552
But it's not weird.
No, it's weird.
52
00:02:02,686 --> 00:02:05,021
I mean, would you like if your
girlfriend went to a male
53
00:02:05,139 --> 00:02:07,190
gynecologist?
This is not an issue for me.
54
00:02:07,307 --> 00:02:09,525
Rosette and I broke up.
Those love pants didn't do
55
00:02:09,643 --> 00:02:11,644
anyone any favors.
ANDRE: Hey-hey!
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00:02:11,812 --> 00:02:13,646
Oh, my God.
Wow, wow, wow.
57
00:02:13,781 --> 00:02:15,231
Andre.
Look at this!
58
00:02:15,365 --> 00:02:19,068
Thank you very much. Did you Bling
Ring Elton John's house? Oh, the pink?
59
00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:21,320
I'm wearing it for Breast Cancer
Awareness Month.
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00:02:21,488 --> 00:02:24,123
So you're telling us that you
purchased the hat, the shirt,
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00:02:24,241 --> 00:02:27,043
the sweater and the shoes all
for Breast Cancer Awareness
62
00:02:27,161 --> 00:02:29,912
Month?
Well... I purchased them
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00:02:30,047 --> 00:02:32,665
separately, but I thought this
was a great opportunity to
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00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:34,550
wear...
You are so full of shit.
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00:02:34,668 --> 00:02:37,670
Andre, look, if you want to wear
pink, just wear pink.
66
00:02:37,805 --> 00:02:40,506
You don't have to exploit breast
cancer awareness for your
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00:02:40,641 --> 00:02:42,341
fashion purposes.
I'm not exploiting it.
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00:02:42,509 --> 00:02:44,594
NFL players wear pink in
October.
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00:02:44,728 --> 00:02:47,180
I'm like an NFL player.
Kevin, back us up on this.
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00:02:47,347 --> 00:02:48,764
This is ridiculous, right?
I can't.
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00:02:48,899 --> 00:02:50,683
I'm on homophobe probation.
Thank you.
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00:02:50,851 --> 00:02:52,235
Oh, God.
No.
73
00:02:52,352 --> 00:02:54,103
I'm going to get a drink.
You're not seeing patients in
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00:02:54,238 --> 00:02:58,274
that ensemble, are you? No. I have a
pair of pink scrubs, you dummy. Perfect.
75
00:02:58,408 --> 00:03:00,159
Hey, can I get another beer
please?
76
00:03:00,277 --> 00:03:04,363
Pete. What are you doing out
on a work night? Oh, hi, Amy.
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00:03:04,531 --> 00:03:07,166
I'm trying not to get busted by
someone I work with.
78
00:03:07,284 --> 00:03:09,702
(laughs) I won't tell the
King of Chardonnay unless you
79
00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:12,205
do.
Deal. I like your style.
80
00:03:12,372 --> 00:03:13,706
You look good out of the office.
81
00:03:13,874 --> 00:03:15,675
Well, you look good out of
the office, and you look good in
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00:03:15,792 --> 00:03:17,760
the office.
Oh. Aren't you dating Rosette
83
00:03:17,878 --> 00:03:20,179
from digital marketing?
No. That is over.
84
00:03:20,297 --> 00:03:22,882
That ship has sailed.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
85
00:03:23,016 --> 00:03:25,184
I'm not that sorry.
(Amy laughs)
86
00:03:25,302 --> 00:03:26,886
When's Ruxin coming back anyway?
87
00:03:27,020 --> 00:03:29,722
Who cares?
Guys, I just got a date.
88
00:03:29,857 --> 00:03:31,190
With who?
Back in the game.
89
00:03:31,308 --> 00:03:32,748
Check it out.
At the bar right there.
90
00:03:32,809 --> 00:03:34,310
Oh, the Asian girl?
Yeah.
91
00:03:34,444 --> 00:03:35,945
Yeah, but that's two Asian
girls in a row.
92
00:03:36,063 --> 00:03:37,196
So what?
Yeah, you can't do that.
93
00:03:37,314 --> 00:03:39,866
Why not? 'Cause that means you
have an Asian thing. Yeah.
94
00:03:39,983 --> 00:03:42,952
And girls don't want to date
a guy who has any kind of thing.
95
00:03:43,070 --> 00:03:45,510
Yeah. Then they wonder, like,
oh, is he into submissive girls?
96
00:03:45,622 --> 00:03:47,456
Has he been rejected by his own
kind?
97
00:03:47,574 --> 00:03:49,542
Is he only attracted to women
with boyish figures?
98
00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:54,046
Yeah, like Kevin. Hey, I don't have a
boyish figure. Whoa, I got a text from
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00:03:54,164 --> 00:03:56,165
Korea.
It's Ruxin saying when he first
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00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,634
met you, he thought you were a
pre-op transsexual.
101
00:03:58,752 --> 00:04:03,306
What? Are you just having that phone
on so Ruxin can insult me from Korea?
102
00:04:03,423 --> 00:04:05,641
No, that's from before.
He sent me a list of insults,
103
00:04:05,759 --> 00:04:09,128
and I junpet's appropriate.
Oh, here's one.
104
00:04:09,263 --> 00:04:11,964
"Pete, stop giving Kevin a hand
job underneath the table."
105
00:04:12,099 --> 00:04:13,549
Oh...
He apologizes.
106
00:04:13,717 --> 00:04:16,936
He says it's obvious, but he's
very busy.
107
00:04:19,356 --> 00:04:21,140
Hey.
Ah! Ellie, what the hell?
108
00:04:21,275 --> 00:04:22,725
Language.
It's for charity.
109
00:04:22,893 --> 00:04:25,361
(Jenny sighs)
You owe me a dollar.
110
00:04:25,479 --> 00:04:27,080
For this ribbon you just
stabbed me with?
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00:04:27,147 --> 00:04:28,698
It's for breast cancer
awareness.
112
00:04:28,815 --> 00:04:30,700
Ellie, I'm aware.
You're aware.
113
00:04:30,817 --> 00:04:34,704
Nobody is not aware of breast
cancer.
114
00:04:34,821 --> 00:04:37,290
Fine, here.
Tell me when it's November.
115
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,908
That's Bullying Awareness Month.
116
00:04:39,042 --> 00:04:41,410
Oh, that's more appropriate.
You know what, I'm done here.
117
00:04:41,578 --> 00:04:43,179
Do you want to just go for
frozen yogurt?
118
00:04:43,213 --> 00:04:46,249
Yeah.
Awesome. Help me up.
119
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,918
(sighs)
Feral child.
120
00:04:51,588 --> 00:04:59,095
Mmm. Ooh. Mom, you have to weigh and
pay before you eat. Oh, please.
121
00:04:59,263 --> 00:05:00,763
I insist.
Really?
122
00:05:00,897 --> 00:05:03,149
You're very brave.
Thanks.
123
00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:08,437
Um... so are you.
Parents, right?
124
00:05:08,572 --> 00:05:12,024
Oh, it's on the house.
Really?
125
00:05:12,159 --> 00:05:13,743
Free yogurt?
All month long.
126
00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:15,745
Thank you.
Uh, there is one more though,
127
00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:17,780
and she's got, like, 40 bucks
worth of toppings.
128
00:05:17,914 --> 00:05:20,583
That's on us, too.
You are so brave.
129
00:05:20,701 --> 00:05:25,254
Wow. Um, thank you. My mom had
breast cancer, too. Really?
130
00:05:25,372 --> 00:05:27,039
Now it's just me and my daddy.
131
00:05:27,174 --> 00:05:28,708
I don't know how you juggle
it all.
132
00:05:28,842 --> 00:05:30,676
I know. These kids are a
nightmare.
133
00:05:30,794 --> 00:05:32,962
Ellie, come on.
Let's go. You've got enough.
134
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:35,681
Thank you again so much.
I am coming back.
135
00:05:35,799 --> 00:05:38,434
Yes, you are gonna be back
for so many more free yogurts.
136
00:05:38,552 --> 00:05:42,438
Thank you. You just keep that
fighting spirit. You got this.
137
00:05:42,556 --> 00:05:44,076
What's up, Bill?
I've noticed something
138
00:05:44,191 --> 00:05:45,858
lately.
Something I didn't know before,
139
00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:47,977
and I'm frankly quite surprised.
Listen, if there's an issue,
140
00:05:48,111 --> 00:05:51,314
I'm happy to... I didn't know
you had an Asian thing. Right?
141
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:54,700
Wait... uh, Bill, just
because I dated Rosette and
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00:05:54,818 --> 00:05:56,652
now I think Amy's cool, it
doesn't mean I have an Asian
143
00:05:56,787 --> 00:05:59,905
thing. Listen, when you date two out
of my four Asians, that's a thing.
144
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,824
It's not a big deal.
Everybody's got a thing.
145
00:06:01,958 --> 00:06:04,160
Myself... I'm into horsey-face
women.
146
00:06:04,294 --> 00:06:06,045
I'm sorry, did you say
"horsey-face women"?
147
00:06:06,163 --> 00:06:08,914
Uh-huh. Women with long jaws
and teeth.
148
00:06:09,049 --> 00:06:11,050
Nostrils that flare up when they
get angry.
149
00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:12,835
Or excited.
Okay, yeah, I got it.
150
00:06:12,969 --> 00:06:18,224
I guess... Got your Carly Simons, your
Alanis Morissettes. Hilary Swank, ooh.
151
00:06:18,342 --> 00:06:20,059
Wow. (chuckles)
(intercom beeps)
152
00:06:20,177 --> 00:06:23,179
Yes? Mr. Haddock, we're ordering lunch.
What are you in the mood for?
153
00:06:23,347 --> 00:06:25,815
I don't know, what do you
think about some sushi, Pete?
154
00:06:25,932 --> 00:06:29,318
Okay, right.
(groans) Time to pick a
155
00:06:29,436 --> 00:06:31,821
kicker, Chalupa Batman.
It's the having to eat your
156
00:06:31,938 --> 00:06:35,107
vegetables of the fantasy world.
Hey, guys.
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00:06:35,242 --> 00:06:37,076
That new yogurt place is
amazing.
158
00:06:37,194 --> 00:06:39,314
They're just, like, doling out
free yogurt, "Come back
159
00:06:39,363 --> 00:06:40,946
anytime."
Really? They're nice, huh?
160
00:06:41,081 --> 00:06:42,948
Yeah, they were super nice.
You think they were nice
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00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:44,750
because they think that you have
cancer?
162
00:06:44,868 --> 00:06:46,535
What?
Babe, they saw you in the
163
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,537
bandana; that's what they think.
Just because I'm wearing a
164
00:06:48,672 --> 00:06:50,589
bandana, I have cancer?
I don't think so, Kevin.
165
00:06:50,707 --> 00:06:53,292
Yes! People equate bandanas
with cancer.
166
00:06:53,427 --> 00:06:55,761
Just like they equate fanny
packs with tourists.
167
00:06:55,879 --> 00:06:59,181
And-and long skirts and high
collars with bipolar, you know?
168
00:06:59,299 --> 00:07:01,851
It's a disease, that's what...
People put two and two together.
169
00:07:01,968 --> 00:07:03,269
Stop.
Speaking of disease, I need
170
00:07:03,387 --> 00:07:05,054
you to check this out.
What? We are not doing this
171
00:07:05,188 --> 00:07:06,472
in the dining room.
First of all, that has never
172
00:07:06,606 --> 00:07:09,608
stopped us before. Second of
all, this is bad, okay? Whoa!
173
00:07:09,726 --> 00:07:12,445
There is something wrong.
I went to Dr. Ewing, and he
174
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:14,647
would not give me the
examination I needed him to.
175
00:07:14,781 --> 00:07:16,565
Is that how they do it?
So you got to do it.
176
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:17,900
Give me your hand.
No, I'm not... no.
177
00:07:18,068 --> 00:07:20,403
It's called a self-exam
because you do it to yourself.
178
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,955
When you invite someone else to
do it, it's foreplay, which I am
179
00:07:23,073 --> 00:07:26,158
down for, but not right now.
Early detection is the key.
180
00:07:26,293 --> 00:07:29,545
What if I end up losing one, or
maybe even both of my balls?
181
00:07:29,663 --> 00:07:31,247
I mean, they've kind of
served their purpose, right?
182
00:07:31,415 --> 00:07:33,582
(Kevin gasps)
You're being very dramatic.
183
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,718
I think you've kind of become a
hypo-cock-driac.
184
00:07:35,836 --> 00:07:36,719
Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
185
00:07:36,837 --> 00:07:38,337
Well, there's something
wrong, and you're gonna be real
186
00:07:38,472 --> 00:07:40,639
sad when we're burying my
testicles in the backyard.
187
00:07:40,757 --> 00:07:43,426
They're fine, I promise.
No, look at them please!
188
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:47,096
No.
One's heavier than the other!
189
00:07:48,554 --> 00:07:51,050
I can't see Dr. Ewing for
another two weeks, so I don't
190
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:52,890
know what to do.
I-I mean, there's something
191
00:07:52,922 --> 00:07:54,756
really wrong down there.
You have, like, testicular
192
00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:56,792
Munchausen's.
No, Andre, you would not know
193
00:07:56,926 --> 00:07:59,211
what it's like to have a pretty
cock and great balls.
194
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:02,347
Now, granted, my cock has taken
some abuse over the years, with
195
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:05,050
the naginata and the fire, but
my balls are still great.
196
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:06,635
These are blue chip balls,
Andre.
197
00:08:06,769 --> 00:08:08,270
Okay, all right.
Why are we talking about balls
198
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:11,473
so much, here? Isn't this Breast
Cancer Awareness Month? It is.
199
00:08:11,607 --> 00:08:14,226
You know we have to go to a
bake sale now at Ellie's school?
200
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,361
For breast cancer awareness?
Yes.
201
00:08:16,479 --> 00:08:20,232
Can someone please explain to me
how selling me a snickerdoodle
202
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,234
is going to cure the problem of
cancer?
203
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,236
Well, we can't cure the
problem of cancer, but we can
204
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,906
cure the problem of bye weeks if
you take Golden Tate and I take
205
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,791
Torrey Smith.
It's a fair trade, am I right?
206
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:31,877
Okay, fine, we can make
that... ouch!
207
00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:35,914
Jesus, Andre! How long have you been
single now? I don't know, like, what,
208
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,216
like 13 months and five days?
(laughs)
209
00:08:38,334 --> 00:08:39,918
Oh.
Salami vice.
210
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,920
Yeah, he's got salami vice.
He's got that death grip.
211
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,255
How many times a week you
jerk off, Andre?
212
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,923
30? 40?
Okay, I am not sitting around
213
00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,676
my apartment jerking off, okay?
Trixie and I had a very
214
00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:50,929
passionate love life and that
fire burned very hot...
215
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,598
- Ugh... - ...and I need to keep on
putting coal into that furnace...
216
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,100
No, no...
Okay, all right, enough.
217
00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:57,903
Gentlemen.
Now that Taco Corp's made the
218
00:08:58,021 --> 00:09:01,323
nut of all nuts, I've decided to
give back to society.
219
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:03,608
Taco Corp has started a
charitable wing called Taco
220
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:08,080
Cares and our first initiative
is Breast Awareness Month.
221
00:09:08,197 --> 00:09:10,832
Breast Cancer Awareness.
No, no, no, no.
222
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,835
See, that's the problem.
Why celebrate the cancer?
223
00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:15,954
We should be celebrating the
breast.
224
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,707
Vaginas have always gotten their
due credit, as they should.
225
00:09:18,841 --> 00:09:21,259
Past 15 years have been great
for asses.
226
00:09:21,377 --> 00:09:24,463
But what about the breast?
It's been a little forgotten.
227
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:28,216
I intend on bringing back the
golden age of the breast.
228
00:09:28,351 --> 00:09:30,519
Even breasts like Jenny's
deserve some respect.
229
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,521
What's wrong with my boobs?
Kevin loves these boobs.
230
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:34,606
Yeah, I have to.
Who's with me?
231
00:09:34,724 --> 00:09:38,026
That's the spirit, Pete!
Here you go, Kevin.
232
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:41,563
(whoops) No, no... There we go. Yes!
Please, open up your wallets and
233
00:09:41,697 --> 00:09:43,949
your bras and donate.
Wait, you're the one who has
234
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:45,707
all the money.
Well, as a charity, I'm not
235
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:48,236
gonna use my own money.
You know what? Enough.
236
00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:49,871
I actually have a legitimate
problem.
237
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,040
You guys were right about this
whole Asian thing.
238
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:54,159
Everyone at the office has
started, like, whispering, like,
239
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,162
"Oh, Pete's got an Asian thing."
Which sucks, 'cause I actually
240
00:09:57,296 --> 00:10:00,882
really like Amy. I don't want her to think
I have a fetish. You can't go Asian
241
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,002
back-to-back. You have to have a buffer
in there. That's kind of brilliant,
242
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,637
actually.
So, basically, I need to have a
243
00:10:05,755 --> 00:10:08,840
full relationship with someone
non-Asian by Friday, break up
244
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,509
with her and then I'm clear for
Amy.
245
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:11,927
Where are you gonna find
someone by Friday?
246
00:10:12,061 --> 00:10:17,816
Oh, I got somebody in mind. Amy...
Looking forward to Friday. Me, too.
247
00:10:20,236 --> 00:10:21,903
Hey, Shauna.
Hi, Pete.
248
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:26,992
You know, I was thinking. You and
I should go out sometime. Yeah.
249
00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:29,861
Yeah, yes, we could.
Any-any time you want, yes.
250
00:10:29,996 --> 00:10:32,036
Great, how about tonight?
I'll just need to, um, run
251
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,533
home and turn off my Crock-Pot.
Unless you want to have
252
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,202
Crock-Pot meatballs. (giggles)
No, you know what? Never mind.
253
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,204
My house is too dirty to have
people in.
254
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,590
Oh, you're blowing it.
Shauna, what are you doing?
255
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,125
Forget tonight.
Why don't we just go right now?
256
00:10:43,259 --> 00:10:44,459
We just go to, like, a happy
hour or something?
257
00:10:44,594 --> 00:10:45,877
Yes.
Let's go now.
258
00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:47,285
All right, let me get my jacket.
259
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:51,299
Get your jacket.
I'll see you really soon.
260
00:10:51,434 --> 00:10:55,554
(sniffs)
It's not great, but it's okay.
261
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:59,191
Let's just get in here, get Ellie... And
12 cupcakes. ...and get out of here.
262
00:10:59,308 --> 00:11:03,361
I just want to go home. Wait... were
you supposed to bake something? Eh.
263
00:11:03,479 --> 00:11:05,030
I never do, though.
No one notices.
264
00:11:05,148 --> 00:11:07,732
Okay.
What is Taco doing here?
265
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,235
I have no idea.
Just want you to know,
266
00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:12,404
ladies, I am very aware of your
breasts.
267
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,906
Taco Cares, okay?
Breasts?
268
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,159
What are you doing?
This is a school.
269
00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:18,960
Yeah, it's important.
I'm leaving behind some Breast
270
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,997
Awareness Month literature.
Did you guys know that one in
271
00:11:22,131 --> 00:11:24,583
three nipples goes to bed
unfondled?
272
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,801
What is all this?
These?
273
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,087
These are sad nipples.
Is that Mom?
274
00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,889
Yeah, yeah, that's Mom in the
'60s.
275
00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:33,425
Her breasts looked great back
then, until you ruined 'em.
276
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:36,811
We ruined Mom's breasts. We.
This is Andre's Aunt Kiki.
277
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,813
She was a boat model.
Very large.
278
00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:40,398
Who's that?
That's my neighbor Russ.
279
00:11:40,516 --> 00:11:43,485
He's really out of shape.
Now, guys, would you like to
280
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:46,188
take part in our Sponsor a
Breast Program?
281
00:11:46,322 --> 00:11:49,774
For only 30 cents a day, you can
sponsor a pair of Third World
282
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:51,826
titties.
Your money's gonna go towards a
283
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:54,529
bra and every month you get a
photograph of your breasts to
284
00:11:54,664 --> 00:11:57,165
see how they're doing.
No. No.
285
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,501
You guys are really not
charitable people whatsoever.
286
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:03,788
But you...
Those breasts need my awareness.
287
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:06,958
I'll be right back.
They're gonna kick us out.
288
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:08,426
Yeah.
Mom.
289
00:12:08,544 --> 00:12:10,011
Hey.
Where are the cookies?
290
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,930
You didn't tell me I was
supposed to make any.
291
00:12:12,048 --> 00:12:14,299
It's a bake sale.
It's implied.
292
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,636
Oh, man. Cheryl.
She is gonna totally ream me for
293
00:12:17,803 --> 00:12:20,855
not baking anything. Will you just...
Well, you should've baked something.
294
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:22,493
It's a bake sale.
Just go cover for me.
295
00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:24,226
No, I don't want...
Ah, the MacArthurs.
296
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,195
Hello, Cheryl.
Well, I see that you've come
297
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:32,651
empty-handed again. No, I... I have...
I brought my charm. Can't sell that.
298
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:38,123
Cheryl, hi. What's that you said about
showing up empty-handed? Oh. Oh...
299
00:12:38,241 --> 00:12:42,127
Oh, my... when... when were
you diagnosed?
300
00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:43,912
What?
I knew it!
301
00:12:44,046 --> 00:12:48,967
You do have cancer!
And that is why I just
302
00:12:49,085 --> 00:12:52,170
couldn't bake the cookies.
Of course.
303
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:56,508
There's actually someone that I would
really love for you to meet. Uh, Pam?
304
00:12:56,642 --> 00:13:01,179
Pam! Pam... Hi. Hi. This is Pam.
305
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,431
She's Cindy's mom.
She has cancer, too.
306
00:13:03,566 --> 00:13:04,899
That's right.
Oh, my God.
307
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,685
I'd love you to join us.
I have a support group that's
308
00:13:06,819 --> 00:13:08,653
starting up in just a few
minutes in the choir room and
309
00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:10,772
they say sharing is the best
medicine.
310
00:13:10,906 --> 00:13:12,274
I would think medicine would
be the best medicine.
311
00:13:12,408 --> 00:13:16,494
No. Like radiation and chemo and removal
and... Well, those are helpful, but
312
00:13:16,612 --> 00:13:18,530
not entirely the best.
No, not like sharing.
313
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:23,251
No. Honestly, my prognosis is very good.
I feel great, I...
314
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,086
If-if you're too weak to
bake, you-you probably need our
315
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,756
help.
We have to take Ellie home.
316
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:31,126
Yes. This has been very tough on her.
While you're with Pam, I can
317
00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:32,877
just take her to the children's
support group.
318
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:36,381
That's right, my daughter Cindy's in
there, so you can be with her. Thank you.
319
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:40,802
You're welcome. Let's-let's learn about
the three pillars of coping. Ah...
320
00:13:40,936 --> 00:13:42,554
So why don't we head that way?
321
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:44,389
Give me one minute.
You take your time.
322
00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:46,057
Thanks.
Oh, great, great, great.
323
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,393
Great, thank you.
Oh, my God.
324
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:51,563
You are lying to our daughter
that you have cancer to get out
325
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,865
of baking cookies.
I will tell her the truth
326
00:13:53,983 --> 00:13:57,736
after the bake sale is over.
She is going to be thrilled it
327
00:13:57,903 --> 00:14:02,073
was just a little pink lie.
We're going to the seventh
328
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,576
layer of hell.
I thought I lost you two.
329
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:07,495
Oh, no, no, no.
I gotta get you to come.
330
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:10,131
We have a terrific guest
speaker, so come on.
331
00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:13,468
Let's go.
Oh...
332
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:16,593
Boy, you really enjoyed those
wings, huh?
333
00:14:16,713 --> 00:14:18,047
(giggles) Yeah.
I love little buffalos.
334
00:14:18,215 --> 00:14:20,093
You can have mine if you
want. Just go ahead.
335
00:14:20,213 --> 00:14:22,097
Oh, we can take 'em, wrap 'em
up, put 'em in my purse.
336
00:14:22,215 --> 00:14:24,383
We can eat 'em for breakfast.
You know what?
337
00:14:24,517 --> 00:14:26,018
I'm gonna take some pictures of
us.
338
00:14:26,136 --> 00:14:28,888
All right. Let's get some
close-ups, here. Okay.
339
00:14:29,022 --> 00:14:31,557
All right.
Look at us, like a real couple.
340
00:14:31,725 --> 00:14:34,393
Okay. Okay, all right, good.
(giggling)
341
00:14:34,527 --> 00:14:36,779
Let's get this going here.
Whoa, you're posting it to
342
00:14:36,897 --> 00:14:38,614
Facebook?
Yeah, I'm gonna put it on
343
00:14:38,732 --> 00:14:40,366
Twitter, I'm gonna put it on
Facebook, I'm gonna put it on
344
00:14:40,483 --> 00:14:43,452
Vine.
All right, what do you think?
345
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:45,905
Should we be... Shpete?
Or what about Pauna?
346
00:14:46,072 --> 00:14:47,456
We have a couple's name already?
347
00:14:47,574 --> 00:14:49,124
Yeah. Come on.
Okay!
348
00:14:49,242 --> 00:14:50,826
Let's get a good one... let's
get a good one right now.
349
00:14:50,961 --> 00:14:52,244
Okay, a good one.
Yeah.
350
00:14:52,412 --> 00:14:56,548
Oh, wow, that buffalo sauce is
really strong.
351
00:14:56,666 --> 00:14:59,218
Yeah, it's real strong.
(clears throat)
352
00:14:59,336 --> 00:15:05,307
Oh, look at this. Well, well, well,
what do we have here? Oh, Shpete.
353
00:15:05,425 --> 00:15:10,145
So cute.
(sighs)
354
00:15:10,263 --> 00:15:13,849
Salami vice.
You're such a good girl.
355
00:15:13,984 --> 00:15:16,268
Hungry?
Ooh, watch those fingers, girl.
356
00:15:16,403 --> 00:15:18,354
(clicks tongue) Yeah.
So regal.
357
00:15:18,488 --> 00:15:21,240
(phone beeps)
Ooh, excuse me.
358
00:15:21,358 --> 00:15:23,325
Huh.
Not Asian.
359
00:15:23,443 --> 00:15:25,661
He is really plowing his way
through that office.
360
00:15:25,779 --> 00:15:28,447
Welcome, everybody.
I'm glad to see you here.
361
00:15:28,581 --> 00:15:31,784
Let me introduce to you the
chairman and CEO of Taco Corp,
362
00:15:31,952 --> 00:15:34,703
and its charitable foundation
Taco Cares, Mr. Taco MacArthur.
363
00:15:34,838 --> 00:15:36,705
What?
What?
364
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,291
(applause)
Thank you. Thank you.
365
00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:43,295
I love the bandanas.
I am also a Guns N' Roses fan.
366
00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:46,849
"Hello!
My name is 'Take-o.'"
367
00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:51,103
It's very nice to meet you all.
Breasts are beautiful things.
368
00:15:51,221 --> 00:15:53,472
But all too often, they go
unnoticed.
369
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,108
Like the homeless guy in the
street we walk right by on our
370
00:15:56,226 --> 00:15:57,943
way to the vagina.
No. No, please.
371
00:15:58,061 --> 00:16:01,530
Yeah.
Now, the breast has four parts.
372
00:16:01,648 --> 00:16:07,152
The magma, the firm part, the
squishy part, and then the soft
373
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,154
part.
Before we get into the fun
374
00:16:09,289 --> 00:16:12,074
stuff, I do have to talk about a
subject that's a little
375
00:16:12,208 --> 00:16:15,127
uncomfortable: breast hygiene.
What?
376
00:16:15,245 --> 00:16:17,496
Nobody wants a dirty titty.
No. No, Taco.
377
00:16:17,664 --> 00:16:23,552
Oh, my God. You got to shine them titties
up with baking soda and buttermilk.
378
00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:25,087
I'm sorry...
You just mix...
379
00:16:25,221 --> 00:16:27,172
This... I don't understand
what this has to do with breast
380
00:16:27,307 --> 00:16:28,924
cancer.
Nothing to do with cancer.
381
00:16:29,059 --> 00:16:31,143
Why is everyone so obsessed with
cancer?
382
00:16:31,261 --> 00:16:34,013
Because this is a breast
cancer support group, and you do
383
00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:35,848
work for breast cancer
awareness.
384
00:16:36,016 --> 00:16:38,100
No, no, no, no.
I never said cancer.
385
00:16:38,234 --> 00:16:41,904
Do not put words in my mouth.
I am here to teach women the
386
00:16:42,022 --> 00:16:45,524
importance of their breasts.
To tell them how special their
387
00:16:45,658 --> 00:16:49,528
breasts are. Women like Jenny here,
who wasn't given much. What?
388
00:16:49,662 --> 00:16:53,499
What? But she does so well with those
tiny little bee stings. How dare you?!
389
00:16:53,616 --> 00:16:56,502
She has clearly had a radical
double mastectomy.
390
00:16:56,619 --> 00:16:59,204
The fact that you haven't had
breast reconstruction and that
391
00:16:59,372 --> 00:17:02,674
you walk around looking like
that-- so courageous.
392
00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,710
Good for you. Good for you.
What?
393
00:17:04,844 --> 00:17:08,764
It's beautiful. And let's hear it for
her husband, who's here supporting her.
394
00:17:08,882 --> 00:17:11,600
And he teaches us a very
valuable lesson: that he can
395
00:17:11,718 --> 00:17:16,055
still light up, get active for
what is just a wasteland.
396
00:17:16,189 --> 00:17:17,639
But he can grease it...
Thank you.
397
00:17:17,774 --> 00:17:19,391
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, Pam!
398
00:17:19,526 --> 00:17:24,980
What?! Okay, this is no barren wasteland.
This is a beautiful wonderland
399
00:17:25,115 --> 00:17:28,117
that he loves exploring.
They're not bad. I like them.
400
00:17:28,234 --> 00:17:30,536
Now, that is the breast
awareness spirit.
401
00:17:30,653 --> 00:17:35,240
Here you go.
Do you even have cancer?
402
00:17:35,408 --> 00:17:39,578
Um... funny thing.
Um... no.
403
00:17:39,746 --> 00:17:42,081
Oh...
The thing is, I am a
404
00:17:42,215 --> 00:17:46,335
distracted, overextended mother,
and I didn't want to bake any
405
00:17:46,469 --> 00:17:48,470
flipping cookies.
Okay, excuse my monster wife.
406
00:17:48,588 --> 00:17:50,722
Okay? I am so sorry about
your cancer.
407
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,258
If it makes a difference, I
actually might have testicular
408
00:17:53,426 --> 00:17:55,094
cancer. I might.
He might have cancer...
409
00:17:55,228 --> 00:17:57,763
No. This is our month.
Your month is April!
410
00:17:57,931 --> 00:17:59,431
You need to go.
Let's go. Let's go.
411
00:17:59,566 --> 00:18:00,983
Great idea. Let's go.
Thank you so much.
412
00:18:01,101 --> 00:18:02,422
Good-bye.
The cookies were lovely.
413
00:18:02,485 --> 00:18:06,105
Hope to see you guys. That's right,
ladies, it's your month! (whoops)
414
00:18:07,863 --> 00:18:10,048
Hey, Shauna.
Oh, hi, Pete.
415
00:18:10,168 --> 00:18:12,409
So, listen, I want to say,
this has been a very important
416
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,969
relationship to me. Ugh, wish
I could say the same. What?
417
00:18:16,087 --> 00:18:18,005
I don't think we should see
each other anymore.
418
00:18:18,172 --> 00:18:20,974
Wait, are you... are you
breaking up with me?
419
00:18:21,092 --> 00:18:23,560
I feel like I saw kind of
everything you are.
420
00:18:23,678 --> 00:18:25,395
There's really not much going
on.
421
00:18:25,513 --> 00:18:28,232
You know when you go to a pool
at a hotel and you're like, "Oh,
422
00:18:28,349 --> 00:18:31,318
yeah, this pool's sexy"?
(chuckles) Then you get in, you
423
00:18:31,436 --> 00:18:33,737
realize the whole thing is just
two feet.
424
00:18:33,855 --> 00:18:36,356
You can't dive anywhere.
And it's kind of dirty.
425
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:39,571
Think I get it. Everyone's, like, suntan
lotion is floating on it. It's gross.
426
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:40,861
You know what? Okay.
Good talk.
427
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:46,366
You're just like, "Ugh, I don't
want to get that in my mouth!" Hey.
428
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,702
Hey, Amy.
You ready for our date tonight?
429
00:18:48,870 --> 00:18:51,121
What up, Pete?
Hey, Tyree. Uh, one second.
430
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:53,576
I'm just gonna finish up here.
Actually, I just needed Miss
431
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:55,926
Amy for a minute.
Hey. (giggles)
432
00:18:56,044 --> 00:18:58,929
So, uh, we good for tomorrow?
Yeah. I can't wait.
433
00:18:59,047 --> 00:19:01,715
All right, baby.
See you then.
434
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:04,968
Later, man.
Bye, Tyree.
435
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:07,771
W-Wait, you're going out with
me on Friday night and then
436
00:19:07,889 --> 00:19:09,773
you're going out with him on
Saturday night?
437
00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:11,775
What's going on?
So, my ex-boyfriend was
438
00:19:11,893 --> 00:19:14,728
black, and Tyree is...
(whispers): black.
439
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,480
Yeah, I noticed that.
And so I wanted to sandwich
440
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,398
you in between so people don't
think that I only date black
441
00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:21,568
dudes, you know?
So you have a black thing.
442
00:19:21,736 --> 00:19:25,105
Oh, yeah.
Big-time. (chuckles)
443
00:19:25,239 --> 00:19:28,458
I got to say, I am honored
and humbled that you asked me to
444
00:19:28,576 --> 00:19:29,960
do this.
I feel like it brings our
445
00:19:30,078 --> 00:19:32,359
friendship to a whole new level.
Me, too. An all-time low.
446
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,797
You know, fine.
I'm not gonna do it.
447
00:19:33,915 --> 00:19:35,048
It was a favor...
Okay, all right, all right.
448
00:19:35,166 --> 00:19:38,001
Andre, would you please examine
my testicles?
449
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:40,387
Fine. Let me just kind of
explain what I'll be doing here
450
00:19:40,505 --> 00:19:43,590
today. I'll be taking my hand... Uh-huh.
...and I'll be going under
451
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:47,094
your shaft, around your scrotum,
and I'm gonna be massaging...
452
00:19:47,261 --> 00:19:51,348
Massaging? Yes. I will be getting from
the back, kind of rubbing up forward.
453
00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:53,723
All right, I just want you to
check to see if something's
454
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:55,268
wrong please.
All right.
455
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:58,271
And here we go.
Getting close.
456
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,023
And that's me.
That's me.
457
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,658
Okay. All right.
And that's you. Hi.
458
00:20:01,776 --> 00:20:05,112
I know. Just look right into my eyes here.
I will not... I will not look
459
00:20:05,279 --> 00:20:07,039
into your eyes.
This trade we made was great,
460
00:20:07,115 --> 00:20:08,782
and I'm excited about that.
Am I right, buddy? Come on.
461
00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:11,118
Ow. Andre, please.
There you go, there you go.
462
00:20:11,285 --> 00:20:13,420
Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy,
easy! (screaming)
463
00:20:13,538 --> 00:20:15,455
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
464
00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:18,125
Oh! Ow!
It's my dick hand.
465
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,127
It's gotten more powerful.
Why would you use your dick
466
00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:23,130
hand? Why wouldn't you use your ball hand?
I don't know. I was too busy
467
00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:25,215
trying to make eye contact with
you, and I just got lost in the
468
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,590
moment!
Why are you using such a
469
00:20:26,634 --> 00:20:28,685
tight grip on your dick anyway?
Well, if you have to know,
470
00:20:28,803 --> 00:20:30,854
Trixie had a very tight lady
purse, and I just...
471
00:20:30,972 --> 00:20:32,689
Oh, no, no, no.
No. No, thank you.
472
00:20:32,807 --> 00:20:34,487
No, thank you.
I just need to re-create the
473
00:20:34,559 --> 00:20:37,477
feeling, that's all. I mean, look,
it's not a weird thing. Oh, God.
474
00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:39,029
You know, just-- it's a
little extra pressure.
475
00:20:39,147 --> 00:20:41,031
Look, we're still on for that
trade, am I right?
476
00:20:41,149 --> 00:20:43,483
Fine, just... ow!
Oh, God!
477
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,786
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
I'm so sorry.
478
00:20:45,903 --> 00:20:49,790
I'm so sorry!
Forget this happened.
479
00:20:49,907 --> 00:20:53,126
(door closes)
I'm a monster.
480
00:20:53,244 --> 00:20:55,796
Mr. MacArthur, what a
pleasant surprise.
481
00:20:55,913 --> 00:20:58,498
Dr. Mike, thank you so much for
seeing me.
482
00:20:58,666 --> 00:21:00,717
Uh-huh.
You know, your appointment
483
00:21:00,835 --> 00:21:03,053
wasn't until next week.
I know, but I-I need you to
484
00:21:03,171 --> 00:21:04,805
look at my balls.
You need me to look at your
485
00:21:04,922 --> 00:21:06,423
balls?
Yes. I've been spending a lot
486
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:09,059
of time down there recently, and
something is not right, you
487
00:21:09,177 --> 00:21:10,927
know?
One feels like an egg and one
488
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:12,896
feels like a little grape.
Uh-huh. A grape?
489
00:21:13,014 --> 00:21:15,065
All I know is I haven't been
able to put my gel on for the
490
00:21:15,183 --> 00:21:17,851
last five days.
I cannot tell you enough
491
00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:20,687
times, you're not supposed to
put gel down there, sir.
492
00:21:20,855 --> 00:21:22,489
Please, you have to take a
look at it.
493
00:21:22,607 --> 00:21:23,824
All right. All right.
Okay.
494
00:21:23,941 --> 00:21:25,742
Let's take a look.
495
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:29,996
No! No, no, no!
No, I... I can't.
496
00:21:30,114 --> 00:21:31,998
I-I can't, I can't, I can't.
I can't do that.
497
00:21:32,116 --> 00:21:34,476
What's wrong, Mr. MacArthur?
Did you just remember I'm a gay
498
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:35,702
doctor?
No. No, no.
499
00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:37,838
Just, my buddy grabbed my balls
too tight.
500
00:21:37,955 --> 00:21:40,757
Just squeezed them.
Okay. I think I see what's
501
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:42,626
going on here.
Oh, God, what is it?
502
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,511
You're confused.
What?
503
00:21:44,629 --> 00:21:47,964
You're having a crisis in
regards to your sexuality.
504
00:21:48,099 --> 00:21:50,050
Me?
I mean, you come in here, you
505
00:21:50,218 --> 00:21:53,186
have your stereotypically limp
wrist, you have your pink
506
00:21:53,304 --> 00:21:55,639
accessories.
No. No, no, no.
507
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,691
You wanted me to touch your
balls, and then you didn't want
508
00:21:57,809 --> 00:22:00,360
me to touch your balls.
You want a gay urologist, but
509
00:22:00,478 --> 00:22:03,113
you're also afraid of having a
gay urologist, because what if
510
00:22:03,231 --> 00:22:04,981
you like it?
No, I'm not gay.
511
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:09,069
I'm married and have two kids.
Your wife-- does she have a
512
00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:12,372
boyishly athletic figure?
Does everyone say she's one of
513
00:22:12,490 --> 00:22:15,709
the guys?
Sh... yes. Maybe.
514
00:22:15,827 --> 00:22:17,711
And your male friends-- are
you close to them?
515
00:22:17,829 --> 00:22:20,611
Some might say too close?
516
00:22:20,985 --> 00:22:21,908
No...
517
00:22:22,871 --> 00:22:25,890
Will you please please please
just look at my balls?
518
00:22:26,010 --> 00:22:27,792
Just put your hand back down there
519
00:22:27,912 --> 00:22:29,663
and get grabbing, feel around...
520
00:22:30,387 --> 00:22:32,470
Kevin, it's not going to work out with us.
521
00:22:32,590 --> 00:22:33,930
It's too complicated.
522
00:22:34,179 --> 00:22:37,223
But I want you to explore,
spread your wings.
523
00:22:41,030 --> 00:22:43,791
What do you expect I would discover,
except that I've got ball cancer?
524
00:22:44,683 --> 00:22:54,428
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525
00:22:54,478 --> 00:22:59,028
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