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1
00:00:02,368 --> 00:00:03,367
PETE: I'm not the problem.
2
00:00:03,369 --> 00:00:05,012
You guys are the problem.
3
00:00:05,132 --> 00:00:07,391
This one-- worst wingman ever.
4
00:00:07,511 --> 00:00:08,632
ANDRE: What are you
talking about?
5
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,291
Whatever. You guys, married--
you're, like, dead to me.
6
00:00:11,293 --> 00:00:13,931
This guy is like a street
sweeper-- he just cleans up any
7
00:00:13,933 --> 00:00:16,581
prospects I had and takes them
in the bathroom and stuffs them.
8
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:18,715
TACO: Hey, I can lead a horse
to the water, but I can't make
9
00:00:18,717 --> 00:00:20,849
the water not want to
have sex with me, okay?
10
00:00:20,851 --> 00:00:21,655
I-I need Chuck.
11
00:00:21,657 --> 00:00:22,660
Is he coming? What's the plan?
12
00:00:22,662 --> 00:00:24,661
No, oh, he is definitely
coming this weekend.
13
00:00:24,663 --> 00:00:25,632
He bought his tickets.
14
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:27,303
He posted it on the
message board today.
15
00:00:27,305 --> 00:00:28,303
So he's in.
16
00:00:28,305 --> 00:00:29,437
Okay, this... this is it.
17
00:00:29,439 --> 00:00:31,442
Chuck is going to
break my dry spell.
18
00:00:31,444 --> 00:00:35,545
You know, he can talk to any
girl, any place, any time.
19
00:00:35,547 --> 00:00:37,946
Guy was fearless.
20
00:00:37,948 --> 00:00:39,615
What's up, ladies?
21
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:41,009
You want to buy me a drink?
22
00:00:41,655 --> 00:00:42,594
Do we want to buy youa drink?
23
00:00:42,714 --> 00:00:43,386
Yeah.
24
00:00:43,506 --> 00:00:45,440
Do you want to buyus a drink?
25
00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:46,012
(chuckles): No.
26
00:00:46,132 --> 00:00:46,643
I don't have any money.
27
00:00:46,763 --> 00:00:48,183
Anyway... Oh, God.
28
00:00:49,268 --> 00:00:50,349
Oh, I just thought
of the worst thing.
29
00:00:50,469 --> 00:00:51,434
What?
30
00:00:51,436 --> 00:00:52,234
Oh, n-nothing.
31
00:00:52,236 --> 00:00:54,234
I don't want you guys...
It's embarrassing.
32
00:00:54,236 --> 00:00:55,235
No, come on, tell us.
33
00:00:55,237 --> 00:00:57,236
Are you sure you're gonna
be cool with this?
34
00:00:57,238 --> 00:00:58,168
Yeah, tell us.
35
00:00:58,169 --> 00:00:58,946
Okay, you'll never
guess what happened.
36
00:00:59,066 --> 00:00:59,563
What?
37
00:00:59,683 --> 00:01:03,480
I sat... in... gum!
38
00:01:04,681 --> 00:01:05,613
(woman gasps)
39
00:01:05,615 --> 00:01:06,614
(Chuck laughing)
40
00:01:06,616 --> 00:01:07,615
Oh, my God.
41
00:01:07,617 --> 00:01:09,117
I sat in gum!
42
00:01:11,189 --> 00:01:15,002
Okay, okay, guys, look...
I'm a doctor. It's okay.
43
00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:17,594
I can assure youthat is not gum.
44
00:01:17,596 --> 00:01:18,429
No.
45
00:01:18,431 --> 00:01:19,431
It is not gum.
46
00:01:19,433 --> 00:01:21,034
What-what was that?
47
00:01:21,036 --> 00:01:24,637
That was a scrotum. Now, would you
buy me a drink for my medical advice?
48
00:01:24,639 --> 00:01:25,639
I guess so, yeah.
49
00:01:25,641 --> 00:01:26,640
Sure.
50
00:01:26,642 --> 00:01:28,642
Yeah.
What are you guys having there?
51
00:01:28,644 --> 00:01:29,643
Let's see, what do you got?
52
00:01:29,645 --> 00:01:31,647
He just made it so
easy, you know?
53
00:01:31,649 --> 00:01:34,050
He would come in like a hurricane,
and I would just come
54
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:35,217
and clean 'em up, like FEMA.
55
00:01:35,219 --> 00:01:37,720
Chuck needs to come here, and
we need to have a full-on
56
00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,223
debaucherous, nasty
Chuck experience.
57
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:40,224
Let's do it.
58
00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,227
Why don't we do a proper cocktail party
and a little Monday Night Football?
59
00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:46,931
As you know, I'm studying mixology...
Enough with the mixology stuff, Andre.
60
00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:47,956
Yeah, what is with this outfit?
61
00:01:48,076 --> 00:01:49,379
You look like a Deadwoodcharacter at a Justin
62
00:01:49,499 --> 00:01:50,494
Bieber concert.
63
00:01:50,614 --> 00:01:52,489
You know what, I'm really
looking forward to your party.
64
00:01:52,609 --> 00:01:53,355
That's on Monday night?
65
00:01:53,475 --> 00:01:55,116
Oh, that's great timing.
66
00:01:55,236 --> 00:01:56,607
That's the end of T-Lent.
67
00:01:56,609 --> 00:01:57,900
Wait, Taco, what did
you do to Lent?
68
00:01:58,111 --> 00:01:59,577
Turned it into Taco-Lent.
69
00:01:59,579 --> 00:02:02,480
T-Lent is a seven-day stretch
where we give Mother Nature a
70
00:02:02,482 --> 00:02:03,680
break from servingus.
71
00:02:03,682 --> 00:02:07,084
I consume nothing natural-- no
fruit, no vegetables, no water,
72
00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:08,418
not even any booze.
73
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:09,520
Whatdo you consume?
74
00:02:09,522 --> 00:02:12,389
Nothing but Slim Jims, Gummy
Worms, artificial sweetener
75
00:02:12,391 --> 00:02:15,192
packets, expired candy
canes and Mexican soda.
76
00:02:15,194 --> 00:02:16,492
(whispers): Hey, Taco.
77
00:02:16,494 --> 00:02:17,694
She's checking you out.
78
00:02:17,696 --> 00:02:18,694
Mm, no can do.
79
00:02:18,696 --> 00:02:19,696
Women are from nature.
80
00:02:19,698 --> 00:02:23,700
Until next week, it's nothing but
blow-up dolls and tube socks.
81
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,277
Sync by Sp8ky
www.addic7ed.com
82
00:02:27,205 --> 00:02:29,140
You can your own fruit taco?
83
00:02:29,142 --> 00:02:30,975
I've been canning fruit
for quite some time.
84
00:02:30,977 --> 00:02:32,711
Technically, it's the
oldest profession.
85
00:02:32,713 --> 00:02:35,714
Ugh, Jesus, it stinks in here.
Yeah, yeah, that's fermented
86
00:02:35,716 --> 00:02:37,315
pectin from the whole
canning process.
87
00:02:37,317 --> 00:02:39,218
Taco, why can't I
open these windows?
88
00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:40,952
No, no, no, all the
windows are painted shut.
89
00:02:40,954 --> 00:02:42,721
They haven't opened since
I've moved in here.
90
00:02:42,723 --> 00:02:44,789
Okay. Well, I don't want to spend
any more time than I have
91
00:02:44,791 --> 00:02:45,723
to, so let's get out of here.
92
00:02:45,725 --> 00:02:46,624
Hello?
93
00:02:46,626 --> 00:02:47,625
Oh, come in.
94
00:02:47,627 --> 00:02:48,626
That's Nadia, my landlord.
95
00:02:48,628 --> 00:02:49,527
Who is dead in here?
96
00:02:49,529 --> 00:02:50,561
Ah, that's Andre's cologne.
97
00:02:50,563 --> 00:02:52,296
Look at that-- what are
you doing over there?
98
00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:54,298
You're making drugs
over there, eh?
99
00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:55,165
No, no, that's fruit.
100
00:02:55,167 --> 00:02:55,999
I'm canning fruit.
101
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:58,568
I never understand anything that you
say because you are always high.
102
00:02:58,570 --> 00:02:59,569
Look at you right now.
103
00:02:59,571 --> 00:03:00,570
You're so high.
104
00:03:00,572 --> 00:03:01,571
Look at-- all of you are high!
105
00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:02,572
Look at me. Look in my eyes.
106
00:03:02,574 --> 00:03:03,573
Look in my eyes.
107
00:03:03,575 --> 00:03:04,575
There's nothing there.
108
00:03:04,577 --> 00:03:05,575
No, it's, like, dead.
109
00:03:05,577 --> 00:03:08,412
It's like the sky but no clouds,
that's what you are like.
110
00:03:08,414 --> 00:03:10,414
This is it, I've
had it with you.
111
00:03:10,416 --> 00:03:13,184
You don't pay on time, you
bring in all your gay friends.
112
00:03:13,186 --> 00:03:14,185
I want you out;
you have a week!
113
00:03:14,187 --> 00:03:16,253
You know, and don't think that you
could climb into bed with me
114
00:03:16,255 --> 00:03:18,188
and think that that will
solve the problem. No more!
115
00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:20,190
I wasn't doing that
to solve problems.
116
00:03:20,192 --> 00:03:21,192
Get out!
117
00:03:21,194 --> 00:03:22,059
Oh, well.
118
00:03:22,061 --> 00:03:23,694
Uh, so where were we?
So cans... Wait, wait.
119
00:03:23,696 --> 00:03:24,695
You just got evicted.
120
00:03:24,697 --> 00:03:25,696
Yeah, it's okay.
121
00:03:25,698 --> 00:03:28,432
Sofia told me, if ever I didn't have a
place to stay I could go stay with her.
122
00:03:28,434 --> 00:03:29,700
You know Sofia lives with me.
123
00:03:29,702 --> 00:03:31,035
Yeah, sort of.
124
00:03:31,037 --> 00:03:33,270
Okay, let's just get this...
No, hold on, hold on.
125
00:03:33,272 --> 00:03:35,572
You know what, there's got to be
a loophole-- just got to do a
126
00:03:35,574 --> 00:03:37,040
little shark Ruxin in here.
127
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:39,176
(humming theme to Jaws)
128
00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:40,510
You do that in the courtroom?
129
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:41,511
In my head.
130
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:42,713
(continues humming)
131
00:03:42,715 --> 00:03:44,715
Aha!
Painted windows shut, okay?
132
00:03:44,717 --> 00:03:48,185
According to Cook County Civil
Code Section 8, it is illegal to
133
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:50,288
restrict ventilation in a
residential property.
134
00:03:50,290 --> 00:03:52,356
I throw that shit at her, you're
gonna stay in this apartment as
135
00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:53,290
long as you want.
136
00:03:53,292 --> 00:03:55,292
Okay, well, let's get
out of this cesspool.
137
00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:56,293
All right. Okay.
138
00:03:56,295 --> 00:03:57,294
Can I take all these?
139
00:03:57,296 --> 00:03:59,296
I can't wait to use this
stuff at my cocktail party.
140
00:03:59,298 --> 00:04:02,066
Well, I guess I got to pick up
one of these cases for Sofia.
141
00:04:02,068 --> 00:04:03,401
(loud, strained grunt)
142
00:04:03,403 --> 00:04:04,757
God, my hammy!
143
00:04:04,950 --> 00:04:06,517
Pick up with your legs.
144
00:04:06,519 --> 00:04:09,220
Oh, my hamstring.
145
00:04:09,222 --> 00:04:11,389
Whoa, break time.
146
00:04:11,391 --> 00:04:12,524
A little help, Taco.
147
00:04:12,526 --> 00:04:13,525
Here you go. This'll help.
148
00:04:13,527 --> 00:04:16,529
Uh... uh... Yeah, chew.
149
00:04:17,682 --> 00:04:19,724
This is living right here.
150
00:04:20,195 --> 00:04:22,195
This is nice.
151
00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:27,968
Yeah... let's just put
that back over there.
152
00:04:27,970 --> 00:04:29,169
It's your sweat pants.
153
00:04:29,171 --> 00:04:30,838
Yeah. It is my sweat pants.
154
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,506
You love them so much.
155
00:04:32,508 --> 00:04:35,343
These sweat pants make my junk
feel so good, it feels like
156
00:04:35,345 --> 00:04:38,980
two angels are just holding my
balls ever so gently while my
157
00:04:38,982 --> 00:04:42,283
trunk is just being refreshed
by a river of feathers.
158
00:04:42,285 --> 00:04:43,285
It's so nice.
159
00:04:43,287 --> 00:04:45,788
So you're telling me you would
rather get a fleece jibber
160
00:04:45,790 --> 00:04:47,089
than get it on with your wife?
161
00:04:47,091 --> 00:04:49,559
To be honest with you, babe,
right now I feel great.
162
00:04:49,561 --> 00:04:51,561
Oh, God, we're so boring.
163
00:04:51,563 --> 00:04:52,562
No, we're not.
164
00:04:52,564 --> 00:04:53,563
We have to shake it up.
165
00:04:53,565 --> 00:04:55,565
Shake it up, shake
it up, shake it up.
166
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:56,733
Do you want to get high?
167
00:04:56,735 --> 00:04:57,734
Huh?
168
00:04:57,736 --> 00:04:59,769
I don't know, it might
be fun to get some weed.
169
00:04:59,771 --> 00:05:00,770
Weed?
170
00:05:00,772 --> 00:05:02,739
Yes, let's smoke some
pot and get high.
171
00:05:02,741 --> 00:05:03,574
Okay.
172
00:05:03,576 --> 00:05:04,241
Yeah?
173
00:05:04,243 --> 00:05:06,243
I'm in.
I'd like to get high with you.
174
00:05:06,245 --> 00:05:07,245
Let's be that couple.
175
00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:09,247
Yes. I don't know where
to get the weed, though.
176
00:05:09,249 --> 00:05:10,248
Where do we get it?
177
00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:11,583
(crickets chirping)
178
00:05:11,585 --> 00:05:12,250
Taco.
179
00:05:12,252 --> 00:05:13,251
Taco.
180
00:05:13,253 --> 00:05:15,253
So, you came to
visit the doctor.
181
00:05:15,255 --> 00:05:16,254
I did, indeed.
182
00:05:16,256 --> 00:05:19,323
I popped my hamstring when I was
picking up that crate at Taco's
183
00:05:19,325 --> 00:05:21,725
place, and I've been in
serious agony ever since.
184
00:05:21,727 --> 00:05:23,794
So if we could just get a little
prescription for a couple of
185
00:05:23,796 --> 00:05:26,796
painkillers to get me through the week, I'd be...
You just want a prescription
186
00:05:26,798 --> 00:05:27,730
for painkillers, right?
187
00:05:27,732 --> 00:05:29,132
That's it, that's it.
188
00:05:29,134 --> 00:05:30,132
Okay. Let's do that.
189
00:05:30,134 --> 00:05:31,133
Awesome.
190
00:05:31,135 --> 00:05:33,135
Ask you a couple
questions first.
191
00:05:33,137 --> 00:05:34,469
What? Why?
192
00:05:34,471 --> 00:05:36,472
You came to the
doctor's office, right?
193
00:05:36,474 --> 00:05:37,806
Got to get your
medical history.
194
00:05:37,808 --> 00:05:40,109
Can't just prescribe
drugs willy-nilly.
195
00:05:40,111 --> 00:05:41,110
So, date of birth?
196
00:05:41,112 --> 00:05:44,112
You've been at my birthday every
year for the last 20 years.
197
00:05:44,114 --> 00:05:46,982
Okay. Patient is being hostile.
198
00:05:46,984 --> 00:05:47,817
Are you a smoker?
199
00:05:47,819 --> 00:05:48,651
No.
200
00:05:48,653 --> 00:05:50,619
How many drinks would you
say you have in a week?
201
00:05:50,621 --> 00:05:52,288
I have, like, one drink a week.
202
00:05:52,290 --> 00:05:53,289
Really? One drink a week?
203
00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:54,290
One drink a week.
204
00:05:54,292 --> 00:05:55,959
All right, do you engage
in sexual activity?
205
00:05:55,961 --> 00:05:56,994
Yep.
206
00:05:56,996 --> 00:05:57,995
With multiple partners?
207
00:05:57,997 --> 00:05:59,997
Only when your mom and
sister are in town.
208
00:05:59,999 --> 00:06:02,000
I'm not gonna write that down.
209
00:06:02,002 --> 00:06:05,003
Have you ever engaged
in anal intercourse?
210
00:06:05,005 --> 00:06:07,005
I refer you to my last answer.
211
00:06:07,007 --> 00:06:09,741
Let me just give you a
little brief recap here.
212
00:06:09,743 --> 00:06:14,313
You are a nonsmoker, light
drinker who engages in anal
213
00:06:14,315 --> 00:06:16,248
intercourse with my
mother and sister.
214
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,317
Look, Andre, just, please,
I just need a couple of
215
00:06:18,319 --> 00:06:20,252
painkillers to get
me through the week.
216
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:22,320
What do you think we're in,
Tijuana here, you can just come
217
00:06:22,322 --> 00:06:24,522
in, tell me what you want and
I'll write you a prescription?
218
00:06:24,524 --> 00:06:27,525
If we were in Tijuana, Andre,
there would be a goddamn monkey
219
00:06:27,527 --> 00:06:29,460
in a sombrero blowing a donkey.
220
00:06:29,462 --> 00:06:31,461
(whispers): Not in
a doctor's office.
221
00:06:31,463 --> 00:06:32,462
WOMAN (over intercom):
222
00:06:32,464 --> 00:06:33,463
Dr. Nozick, line one.
223
00:06:33,465 --> 00:06:36,266
Oh, give me a second.
224
00:06:36,268 --> 00:06:37,601
Hey, Crystal.
225
00:06:37,603 --> 00:06:40,804
Brought your...
Uh, yeah, I'll be right there.
226
00:06:40,806 --> 00:06:43,774
Okay, so if you could just
disrobe, I'll come back and
227
00:06:43,776 --> 00:06:46,277
continue the examination.
228
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:56,453
Let's see what you're...
(groans)
229
00:06:56,455 --> 00:06:59,957
Oh, couple scrippies.
230
00:06:59,959 --> 00:07:02,793
Well, I guess this
examination is done.
231
00:07:02,795 --> 00:07:04,561
Ow, ow.
232
00:07:04,563 --> 00:07:06,864
I can't believe you stole
my prescription pad.
233
00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:08,866
(singsongy): Ruxin
took some scrippies.
234
00:07:08,868 --> 00:07:09,867
What?
235
00:07:09,869 --> 00:07:12,503
And then I went and bought a
bunch of painkillers with it.
236
00:07:12,505 --> 00:07:13,871
I love Painkiller Ruxin.
237
00:07:13,873 --> 00:07:15,539
He's happy, he's nice.
238
00:07:15,541 --> 00:07:16,807
You've committed a crime.
239
00:07:16,809 --> 00:07:19,877
The only crime I have is
that I love you too much.
240
00:07:19,879 --> 00:07:21,245
And prescription drug fraud.
241
00:07:21,247 --> 00:07:22,246
No.
242
00:07:22,248 --> 00:07:23,180
Who cares?
243
00:07:23,182 --> 00:07:24,248
I could lose my license.
244
00:07:24,250 --> 00:07:25,249
You-- I'll drive you around.
245
00:07:25,251 --> 00:07:26,183
This is good.
246
00:07:26,185 --> 00:07:27,184
Hey.
247
00:07:27,186 --> 00:07:28,185
Chuck!
248
00:07:28,187 --> 00:07:29,220
ALL: Two-Nut Chuck!
249
00:07:29,222 --> 00:07:30,988
Two-Nut Chuck!
250
00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:31,989
Two-Nut Chuck!
251
00:07:32,957 --> 00:07:35,224
Shot, shot, shot.
252
00:07:35,226 --> 00:07:36,859
Oh, n-n-no, got one of these.
253
00:07:36,861 --> 00:07:37,860
Quarters!
254
00:07:37,862 --> 00:07:38,694
Old school.
255
00:07:38,696 --> 00:07:39,528
That's an idea.
256
00:07:39,530 --> 00:07:41,463
N-N-No, it's a sobriety chip.
257
00:07:41,465 --> 00:07:42,464
What?
258
00:07:42,466 --> 00:07:43,465
Sober.
259
00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:44,232
I don't drink anymore.
260
00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:46,901
I'm, I'm completely
done with alcohol.
261
00:07:46,903 --> 00:07:48,869
You became an alcoholic
after you left town?
262
00:07:48,871 --> 00:07:52,106
No, I became an alcoholic
before I left town, and that's
263
00:07:52,108 --> 00:07:53,474
the whole reason I left town.
264
00:07:53,476 --> 00:07:55,743
I thought you left because
you got a new job.
265
00:07:55,745 --> 00:07:58,045
Yeah, I had to go get a new
job because I had pulled my
266
00:07:58,047 --> 00:08:00,848
balls out and showed my boss and...
(laughing): That's awesome.
267
00:08:00,850 --> 00:08:01,849
Sorry.
268
00:08:01,851 --> 00:08:02,984
It was not awesome to her.
269
00:08:02,986 --> 00:08:03,818
This is crazy.
270
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:04,719
You're not an alcoholic.
271
00:08:04,721 --> 00:08:05,687
An alcoholic is an alcoholic.
272
00:08:05,689 --> 00:08:06,521
There are no levels.
273
00:08:06,523 --> 00:08:08,189
Oh, so you just
drink socially now?
274
00:08:08,191 --> 00:08:09,924
No, come on, we can
still have fun, though.
275
00:08:09,926 --> 00:08:10,858
We can still play beer pong.
276
00:08:10,860 --> 00:08:11,693
Cool, right?
277
00:08:11,695 --> 00:08:12,527
All right, yeah.
278
00:08:12,529 --> 00:08:13,528
Yeah.
279
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:15,096
Just without the beer.
280
00:08:15,098 --> 00:08:17,197
Oh, but that's just Ping- Pong.
281
00:08:17,199 --> 00:08:19,700
Yeah, Ping-Pong's for fat
kids at summer camp.
282
00:08:19,702 --> 00:08:21,834
These shoes are
making my feet sweat.
283
00:08:21,836 --> 00:08:22,835
Hi-yah.
284
00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:24,003
Whoa, sorry.
285
00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:25,003
Hi-yah.
286
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,004
Ruxin.
287
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,206
Chuck, would you sit in
gum for me real quick?
288
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,743
I, I can't sit in gum for you.
289
00:08:30,745 --> 00:08:32,511
Come on, just one more
time for old times' sake.
290
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,547
No, I can, I can never sit in
gum for anyone anymore, okay?
291
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:36,214
Why not?
292
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,650
If there is any person on this
earth that I would sit in
293
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:41,753
gum for, it would be you, but I
wouldn't be doing it with my spirit.
294
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,688
I would just be sitting
in gum with my body.
295
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,757
That's enough for me-- I just
need your body to sit in gum.
296
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:48,526
No, it's a hollow gesture.
297
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,261
Okay, I got blue gum just
thinking about how hard I want
298
00:08:51,263 --> 00:08:53,863
to sit in gum for
you, but I cannot.
299
00:08:53,865 --> 00:08:59,342
My gum is dead to you, and
I hope you understand.
300
00:08:59,594 --> 00:09:01,795
You've got to get the...
Oh, I-I get it, I got it.
301
00:09:01,797 --> 00:09:02,762
It's in the bathroom.
302
00:09:02,764 --> 00:09:03,596
Don't worry about it.
303
00:09:03,598 --> 00:09:05,432
(overlapping chatter)
304
00:09:05,434 --> 00:09:07,433
You don't have... oh.
305
00:09:07,435 --> 00:09:09,668
He's barefoot in the
bathroom at Señor Crab's.
306
00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:11,804
I know, I just peed all
over the floor in there.
307
00:09:11,806 --> 00:09:13,806
Why would you pee on the floor?
308
00:09:13,808 --> 00:09:14,707
Everybody does.
309
00:09:14,709 --> 00:09:16,676
Grace told me you
wouldn't understand.
310
00:09:16,678 --> 00:09:18,744
She didn't even want
me to come here.
311
00:09:18,746 --> 00:09:19,578
Who the hell is Grace?
312
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:24,283
She's my fiancée, she is my
rock, and she is right there.
313
00:09:24,285 --> 00:09:26,752
I'll be there in a
second, I'm sorry.
314
00:09:26,754 --> 00:09:27,753
Hi.
315
00:09:27,755 --> 00:09:29,822
Um, the other one... Who is she?
316
00:09:29,824 --> 00:09:32,291
Yeah, that's her sister, but
don't even think about it.
317
00:09:32,293 --> 00:09:33,759
She would not go for your type.
318
00:09:33,761 --> 00:09:35,828
Come on, just do
me this one solid.
319
00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:36,829
15 years of friendship, okay?
320
00:09:36,831 --> 00:09:40,099
You're not going to sit in gum for
me, Chuck, so do this one thing.
321
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:44,069
In lieu of sitting in gum, I will
see what I can do with her sister.
322
00:09:44,071 --> 00:09:45,203
Yeah, come on, Chuck.
323
00:09:45,205 --> 00:09:48,840
But you have to promise me that you're
gonna be responsible tonight, okay?
324
00:09:48,842 --> 00:09:51,576
Put down that beer, okay?
325
00:09:51,578 --> 00:09:52,844
No more, done.
326
00:09:52,846 --> 00:09:54,112
Winners drink water.
327
00:09:54,114 --> 00:09:55,447
Hey, I'm a winner.
328
00:09:55,449 --> 00:09:57,382
I'll see you soon.
329
00:09:57,384 --> 00:10:01,319
Can I, uh, get a
pitcher, please?
330
00:10:01,321 --> 00:10:02,319
I found it.
331
00:10:02,321 --> 00:10:04,121
Okay, we don't need
to use that ball.
332
00:10:04,123 --> 00:10:05,122
Why?
333
00:10:05,124 --> 00:10:07,324
Just take off the TP,
it's good as new.
334
00:10:07,326 --> 00:10:08,325
Boop.
335
00:10:08,327 --> 00:10:09,660
That ball has hair.
336
00:10:09,662 --> 00:10:11,161
Oh, I guess it hit puberty.
337
00:10:11,163 --> 00:10:12,162
(Ruxin laughs)
338
00:10:12,164 --> 00:10:12,862
(Andre groans)
339
00:10:12,864 --> 00:10:14,163
Let's do this next one.
340
00:10:14,165 --> 00:10:15,665
Oh, that's a point for us.
341
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:19,170
Don't-- you don't
have to drink that.
342
00:10:23,142 --> 00:10:24,679
That's another point for us.
343
00:10:24,806 --> 00:10:26,640
So I called Taco's guy,
he's on his way.
344
00:10:26,642 --> 00:10:27,641
Yeah?
345
00:10:27,643 --> 00:10:28,642
Yeah.
346
00:10:28,644 --> 00:10:29,837
Good, I dropped Ellie off
at the slumber party.
347
00:10:29,957 --> 00:10:31,649
She will be there till
tomorrow morning.
348
00:10:31,769 --> 00:10:33,311
We're gonna get
so baked tonight.
349
00:10:33,431 --> 00:10:33,950
It's gonna be so fun.
350
00:10:34,070 --> 00:10:34,738
It's gonna be awesome.
351
00:10:34,858 --> 00:10:35,752
Did you make anything?
352
00:10:35,872 --> 00:10:37,685
Like, is there any snacks or...?
353
00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:39,507
Should I put some food out?
354
00:10:39,627 --> 00:10:41,319
Should I have made lasagna?
355
00:10:41,321 --> 00:10:41,901
Lasagna?
356
00:10:42,021 --> 00:10:43,155
What, is he Garfield?
357
00:10:43,157 --> 00:10:44,957
That's way too heavy of a
meal this time of night.
358
00:10:44,959 --> 00:10:46,925
Well, I don't know what to do.
359
00:10:46,927 --> 00:10:47,540
I've never hosted a
drug dealer before.
360
00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:48,244
Well, neither have I.
361
00:10:48,364 --> 00:10:48,742
(Jenny screams)
362
00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:49,850
Hey, man.
363
00:10:50,178 --> 00:10:51,249
We gonna do this or what?
364
00:10:52,432 --> 00:10:54,009
Whoa, what kind of weed is that?
365
00:10:54,903 --> 00:10:55,902
That's not weed, it's coke.
366
00:10:55,904 --> 00:10:57,904
I-I ordered weed.
367
00:10:57,906 --> 00:10:58,905
You ordered a DVD.
368
00:10:58,907 --> 00:10:59,839
I wanted weed.
369
00:10:59,841 --> 00:11:00,907
No, weed's a VHS.
370
00:11:00,909 --> 00:11:03,062
Well, then, I ordered a VHS.
371
00:11:03,278 --> 00:11:04,608
Did you read the menu?
372
00:11:04,610 --> 00:11:05,935
It's a little
confusing-- the menu.
373
00:11:06,055 --> 00:11:07,811
It's not confusing.
374
00:11:07,813 --> 00:11:09,194
VHS is weed, DVD is
coke, Beta is crank.
375
00:11:09,463 --> 00:11:14,299
I really would prefer that you just took
back the DVD and, and brought a VHS.
376
00:11:14,301 --> 00:11:15,300
No, I didn't bring the VHS.
377
00:11:15,302 --> 00:11:17,202
Well, I don't have a DVD player.
378
00:11:17,204 --> 00:11:18,036
It's a one-way trip.
379
00:11:18,038 --> 00:11:19,137
I came all the way out here.
380
00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:20,071
I'm not leaving without $500.
381
00:11:20,073 --> 00:11:21,005
So how do you want to...?
382
00:11:21,007 --> 00:11:22,006
$500?
383
00:11:22,008 --> 00:11:22,907
That's how much a DVD is.
384
00:11:22,909 --> 00:11:23,908
$500?
385
00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:24,742
VHS is a lot less.
386
00:11:24,744 --> 00:11:25,843
You want to spend a lot less?
387
00:11:25,845 --> 00:11:27,745
Well, we're not
spending anything.
388
00:11:27,747 --> 00:11:29,747
I'm not giving you $500.
389
00:11:29,749 --> 00:11:33,151
I'm leaving here with your $500, either
with the coke or without the coke.
390
00:11:33,153 --> 00:11:35,287
You want to keep it, fine, I
don't really care, but I'm
391
00:11:35,289 --> 00:11:37,156
leaving here with 500
of your dollars.
392
00:11:37,158 --> 00:11:38,824
You understand?
393
00:11:38,826 --> 00:11:41,360
Oh, fine, all right.
394
00:11:41,362 --> 00:11:43,262
$500.
395
00:11:43,264 --> 00:11:46,265
Oh, come on, don't do the...
Shh.
396
00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:48,000
He's doing the whole thing.
397
00:11:48,002 --> 00:11:51,504
Just... Just-- babe...
That's it?
398
00:11:51,506 --> 00:11:52,405
I just take off?
399
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,273
No cheese plate, no
crackers, nothing?
400
00:11:54,275 --> 00:11:56,208
She was going to make a lasagna.
401
00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:58,110
I was going to make a lasagna.
402
00:11:58,112 --> 00:12:00,779
Oh, come on, lasagna,
this time of night.
403
00:12:00,781 --> 00:12:01,514
Pull it together.
404
00:12:01,516 --> 00:12:02,448
Come on, lady.
405
00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:03,282
Have a good night.
406
00:12:03,284 --> 00:12:04,284
Okay.
407
00:12:04,286 --> 00:12:05,118
Thank you so much.
408
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,521
Thank you so much for stopping
by, and please never come back.
409
00:12:08,523 --> 00:12:13,260
Oh, my God, do you see how
much cocaine is there?
410
00:12:13,262 --> 00:12:14,528
Hey, Chuck, what's going on?
411
00:12:14,530 --> 00:12:16,797
I think you have a
drinking problem.
412
00:12:16,799 --> 00:12:17,932
I-I can't say I'm surprised.
413
00:12:17,934 --> 00:12:20,201
I had a feeling you might say
this, but honestly, Chuck, I
414
00:12:20,203 --> 00:12:22,037
think you have a
sobriety problem.
415
00:12:22,039 --> 00:12:22,904
What is a sobriety problem?
416
00:12:22,906 --> 00:12:24,540
Well, uh, we're gonna
talk about it.
417
00:12:24,542 --> 00:12:26,542
There are some people here who
would like to talk to you.
418
00:12:26,544 --> 00:12:28,545
This is all from
a place of love.
419
00:12:28,547 --> 00:12:29,479
Here's a beer for you.
420
00:12:29,481 --> 00:12:30,313
Thank you for my beer.
421
00:12:30,315 --> 00:12:31,148
How's your beer?
422
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:32,149
Delicious.
423
00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:33,551
Andre, your Pinot Grigio?
424
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:36,554
It's actually a Pinot Blanc, but,
you know, I'm not complaining.
425
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,622
Anyhow, as you can see, there's
a beer, there is a beer,
426
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:40,558
there is a white wine,
and there is water.
427
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,759
What is going on here?
428
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,560
Welcome to your reverse
intervention, Chuck.
429
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:44,562
Reverse intervention?
430
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:45,563
Yeah.
431
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:49,232
Your sobriety is causing a
rift amongst your friends and
432
00:12:49,234 --> 00:12:52,502
the people who love you, and quite
frankly I need a good wingman.
433
00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:55,238
You're the best wingman that ever was
when you're drinking, of course.
434
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,240
Okay, so you want me to drink
so you can pick up girls?
435
00:12:57,242 --> 00:12:58,240
Yes.
436
00:12:58,242 --> 00:12:59,241
Yeah.
437
00:12:59,243 --> 00:13:00,342
No, it's bigger than that.
438
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:03,445
Look, as you know, I'm doing the
Monday Night Football mixology party.
439
00:13:03,447 --> 00:13:05,513
It's gonna be a lot of fun and
I'd love for you to come.
440
00:13:05,515 --> 00:13:07,582
But if you did come and you
weren't drinking, would that
441
00:13:07,584 --> 00:13:10,251
make everyone else feel awkward and then
would it become a reflection on me?
442
00:13:10,253 --> 00:13:11,085
You know what?
443
00:13:11,087 --> 00:13:12,987
Just drink this
because we love you.
444
00:13:12,989 --> 00:13:13,821
Do it.
445
00:13:13,823 --> 00:13:15,523
No, I'm not going to
drink any alcohol.
446
00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:16,457
Pound it.
447
00:13:16,459 --> 00:13:18,525
I think what we need to do
is show you an example.
448
00:13:18,527 --> 00:13:22,863
Okay, Kevin, show him how you feel
right now before this beer comes over.
449
00:13:22,865 --> 00:13:27,468
Okay, now go ahead
and drink this.
450
00:13:27,470 --> 00:13:29,536
You see what happens
there, Chuck?
451
00:13:29,538 --> 00:13:33,241
Do you understand that if I have
even one sip, I keep going
452
00:13:33,243 --> 00:13:34,542
until I do something I regret?
453
00:13:34,544 --> 00:13:38,979
Like sit in gum, a-and I
cannot ever sit in gum again.
454
00:13:38,981 --> 00:13:39,980
Don't you ever say that!
455
00:13:39,982 --> 00:13:40,981
Ever!
456
00:13:40,983 --> 00:13:44,184
Look, I think we might be having a
little breakthrough here, guys.
457
00:13:44,186 --> 00:13:46,185
Maybe you're just addicted
to showing your junk.
458
00:13:46,187 --> 00:13:47,386
Yes.
459
00:13:47,388 --> 00:13:49,454
Right? You don't need to go
to AA, you need to go to JA.
460
00:13:49,456 --> 00:13:50,455
Junk Anonymous.
461
00:13:50,457 --> 00:13:51,490
Yeah.
462
00:13:51,492 --> 00:13:52,491
You don't understand.
463
00:13:52,493 --> 00:13:54,860
Yeah, I go from zero
to gum in, like, that.
464
00:13:54,862 --> 00:13:55,861
You know what?
465
00:13:55,863 --> 00:13:57,929
If you come to my party, you can
take out your junk, you can not
466
00:13:57,931 --> 00:13:59,064
take out your junk, no joke.
467
00:13:59,066 --> 00:14:01,066
Andre, stop with the mixology.
468
00:14:01,068 --> 00:14:04,303
Come on. You... What? What?
Now you're being unreasonable.
469
00:14:04,305 --> 00:14:06,371
You can even text me up
until the hour before.
470
00:14:06,373 --> 00:14:07,721
I just need a little
bit of notice.
471
00:14:07,961 --> 00:14:10,348
So, where is this big-time
lawyer you talk about, huh?
472
00:14:10,468 --> 00:14:11,249
He's coming.
473
00:14:11,369 --> 00:14:11,746
Oh.
474
00:14:11,866 --> 00:14:12,469
He's just a little bit late.
475
00:14:12,589 --> 00:14:13,943
We'll see about that, won't we?
476
00:14:14,063 --> 00:14:15,787
Since we have a little bit
of time, you want to...?
477
00:14:15,815 --> 00:14:17,120
No, my legs are closed to you.
478
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,357
Fine.
479
00:14:20,111 --> 00:14:22,044
You know Chinese kids will let
you play kickball with them.
480
00:14:22,046 --> 00:14:23,045
Hi, Ruxin.
481
00:14:23,047 --> 00:14:24,046
This is your lawyer?
482
00:14:24,048 --> 00:14:25,047
This is my lawyer. What...?
483
00:14:25,049 --> 00:14:26,048
What's up, Taco?!
484
00:14:26,050 --> 00:14:27,049
What?
485
00:14:27,051 --> 00:14:29,017
Hey, look, my landlord--
you remember my landlord?
486
00:14:29,019 --> 00:14:31,019
What is this, a joke,
him with his...?
487
00:14:31,021 --> 00:14:32,053
Hey!
488
00:14:32,055 --> 00:14:35,873
I am not joking...
about how good this corn dog is.
489
00:14:36,183 --> 00:14:37,280
Ruxin? (clears throat)
490
00:14:37,282 --> 00:14:38,448
Can I talk to you for a second?
491
00:14:38,450 --> 00:14:40,850
Just one...
What's wrong with you?
492
00:14:40,852 --> 00:14:42,531
I need you to be the lawyer
guy you were before.
493
00:14:42,651 --> 00:14:43,395
I am your lawyer.
494
00:14:43,515 --> 00:14:46,042
No. Hey, snap out...
I didn't feel that.
495
00:14:46,249 --> 00:14:47,404
I don't feel that.
496
00:14:47,524 --> 00:14:48,596
Are you on painkillers again?
497
00:14:48,716 --> 00:14:49,675
Uh!
498
00:14:49,795 --> 00:14:51,619
Oh, man, none of my
friends can handle drugs.
499
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,403
Look, I need you to
be sharp, Ruxin.
500
00:14:53,523 --> 00:14:54,154
Sharp, Ruxin.
501
00:14:54,455 --> 00:14:55,628
The window stuff.
502
00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:05,442
(Ruxin hums)
503
00:15:05,444 --> 00:15:10,349
(humming & singing goofy tune)
504
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:14,820
Back me up, Taco.
505
00:15:14,822 --> 00:15:18,423
Uh... (goofy humming
& singing resumes)
506
00:15:18,425 --> 00:15:23,195
(Taco imitates drumming)
507
00:15:26,233 --> 00:15:27,367
All right, all right.
508
00:15:27,369 --> 00:15:28,467
That-That-That's enough.
509
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:29,468
All right, that's enough then.
510
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,471
You have 24 hours to get your
stuff out of here, all right?
511
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:32,738
What?
512
00:15:32,745 --> 00:15:33,439
You-- my apartment, number five.
513
00:15:33,559 --> 00:15:34,651
Let's do this!
514
00:15:34,771 --> 00:15:36,144
Ruxin, you got me kicked out!
515
00:15:36,264 --> 00:15:37,036
What's the big deal?
516
00:15:37,156 --> 00:15:38,256
You come live
with me and Sofia.
517
00:15:38,376 --> 00:15:40,480
(Ruxin resumes goofy singing)
518
00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:41,682
Gee.
519
00:15:41,684 --> 00:15:44,485
Techno beat. Techno...
(Taco hums rhythmically)
520
00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:48,256
Corn dog, corn dog, corn dog, corn dog,
corn dog, corn dog, corn dog...
521
00:15:48,258 --> 00:15:51,026
(Ruxin sings silly tune)
522
00:15:51,028 --> 00:15:54,430
How long we gonna do this?!
523
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,721
Welcome to Andre Capone's.
524
00:15:56,965 --> 00:15:58,533
The first drink is for you.
525
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,200
No, let's name the first
one after Andre, the host.
526
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,069
Very well. Lay it on me.
527
00:16:03,417 --> 00:16:04,631
The Poser's Demise.
528
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:05,833
Little bit of gin.
529
00:16:05,953 --> 00:16:06,988
Muddled fashion sense.
530
00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:09,678
Topped off with long
bouts of celibacy.
531
00:16:09,798 --> 00:16:11,694
All right, do you guys
want drinks or not?
532
00:16:11,814 --> 00:16:12,558
ALL: Yes.
533
00:16:12,678 --> 00:16:13,375
Yes. Sorry.
534
00:16:13,495 --> 00:16:14,586
Good. It's a five-stop drink.
535
00:16:14,812 --> 00:16:16,361
Now... Five steps?
536
00:16:16,481 --> 00:16:19,574
You have to wait for it, because
what happens is, we're
537
00:16:19,576 --> 00:16:21,510
making the drink on
every single level.
538
00:16:21,512 --> 00:16:24,813
The fruit, the alcohol--
it all combines... Okay.
539
00:16:24,815 --> 00:16:26,015
What are you doing?
540
00:16:26,017 --> 00:16:28,759
You can't...
You're separating the stations.
541
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:30,066
Gin and tonic?
542
00:16:30,186 --> 00:16:30,855
Sure.
543
00:16:30,975 --> 00:16:31,616
Ruxin, what do you want?
544
00:16:31,736 --> 00:16:32,320
Yes, have some.
545
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:33,954
You need to be using a jigger.
546
00:16:34,074 --> 00:16:37,579
Hey, I know it's the 1920s, but you
still got to whisper that word.
547
00:16:37,699 --> 00:16:40,349
Now, while you may be fast, my
muddling is going to be much
548
00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:41,466
more rewarding to your palette.
549
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:42,467
Yo. Cheers, guys.
550
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:43,468
Cheers, guys.
551
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:44,836
Cheers.
552
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:45,837
Andre, where's your drink?
553
00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:47,038
It's almost done.
554
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,038
Oh.
555
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:48,906
Hey, come here, come here.
556
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,674
You can't be drinking
on painkillers.
557
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,475
Andre, will you please
leave him alone?
558
00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:53,476
P.K. Ruxin is great.
559
00:16:53,478 --> 00:16:54,477
Are you not enjoying this?
560
00:16:54,479 --> 00:16:55,678
He's beautiful!
561
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:56,479
Okay, you know what?
562
00:16:56,481 --> 00:16:59,716
Live your life...
Just put this here till Taco comes.
563
00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:00,484
Do whatever you want to do.
564
00:17:00,486 --> 00:17:02,486
Somewhere there's a riverboat
missing a casino dealer.
565
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:03,487
Okay, just live your life.
566
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:04,488
I don't care. Hey.
567
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:05,856
Chuck.
568
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:06,579
Chuck...!
569
00:17:06,699 --> 00:17:07,546
Hey. How you doing?
570
00:17:07,666 --> 00:17:11,933
Welcome to Andre Capone's, the best
speakeasy this side of Chicago.
571
00:17:12,053 --> 00:17:14,219
Even though we normally serve
alcohol, we got a non-alcoholic
572
00:17:14,339 --> 00:17:16,090
beverage right here
in the crapper.
573
00:17:16,092 --> 00:17:17,292
Don't you mean hopper?
574
00:17:18,228 --> 00:17:19,655
Hopper. I'll be right back.
575
00:17:20,078 --> 00:17:20,893
Thank you.
576
00:17:20,895 --> 00:17:23,296
So, Chuck, where are the girls?
577
00:17:23,298 --> 00:17:24,736
Grace and Jade are gonna come by
a little bit later, 'cause I
578
00:17:24,856 --> 00:17:26,097
wanted to talk to
you guys first.
579
00:17:26,217 --> 00:17:29,964
My strainer, and it is. Ooh.
580
00:17:30,804 --> 00:17:32,693
Confectionery sugar.
581
00:17:32,813 --> 00:17:33,980
We don't have this.
582
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,036
I can't change you any more than
583
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,775
you can make me sit in gum.
584
00:17:37,777 --> 00:17:38,776
You're gonna sit in gum?
585
00:17:38,778 --> 00:17:40,778
No, no, no, no, I am
not gonna sit in gum.
586
00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:41,979
(all talking at once)
587
00:17:41,981 --> 00:17:43,213
Are you nuts?
588
00:17:43,215 --> 00:17:44,414
It might get hot, bro.
589
00:17:44,416 --> 00:17:45,733
All right, fair enough,
Chuck, fair enough.
590
00:17:45,853 --> 00:17:46,832
It's good to see you back.
591
00:17:46,952 --> 00:17:47,696
It's good to be back.
592
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:49,104
(all talking at once)
593
00:17:49,224 --> 00:17:49,902
Drinks are served.
594
00:17:50,022 --> 00:17:53,727
The tall glasses are for the high spirits,
the low glass is for the no spirits.
595
00:17:53,847 --> 00:17:55,098
And a toast.
596
00:17:55,305 --> 00:17:56,760
To the league.
597
00:17:56,762 --> 00:17:57,961
ALL: To the league.
598
00:17:57,963 --> 00:17:59,095
All right.
599
00:17:59,097 --> 00:18:00,397
Mmm.
600
00:18:00,399 --> 00:18:01,286
Good.
601
00:18:01,406 --> 00:18:02,112
Delicious.
602
00:18:02,232 --> 00:18:08,337
Those are actually Taco's
own marinated fruits.
603
00:18:08,572 --> 00:18:10,619
Staying clean never
tasted so great.
604
00:18:10,739 --> 00:18:12,809
Barkeep, I'll have another.
605
00:18:12,811 --> 00:18:14,010
Yeah!
606
00:18:14,012 --> 00:18:15,245
(cheering)
607
00:18:15,247 --> 00:18:16,446
Who wants a drink?
608
00:18:16,448 --> 00:18:17,514
I'll take one right here.
609
00:18:17,516 --> 00:18:19,516
I want a drink, I want a drink,
I want a drink, I want a drink!
610
00:18:19,518 --> 00:18:20,516
Let me get another drink.
611
00:18:20,518 --> 00:18:23,819
Oh, my God, these drinks are making
my breath taste so delicious.
612
00:18:23,821 --> 00:18:24,821
Did I get you? Did I get you?
613
00:18:24,823 --> 00:18:26,022
No, no.
614
00:18:26,024 --> 00:18:27,241
Oh, Jesus, Taco,
you look horrible.
615
00:18:27,361 --> 00:18:27,598
Hey, guys.
616
00:18:27,718 --> 00:18:28,462
What is wrong with you?
617
00:18:28,582 --> 00:18:29,232
What are you doing?
618
00:18:29,352 --> 00:18:30,950
Haven't had anything
natural in two weeks.
619
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:32,687
Hey, I got to talk to you for a second.
Put your stuff down.
620
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:33,765
Come here. Put it down.
621
00:18:33,767 --> 00:18:34,766
I have to get to the kitchen.
622
00:18:34,768 --> 00:18:36,769
When is Flannagan,
the drug dealer...?
623
00:18:36,771 --> 00:18:37,769
Flannagan?
624
00:18:37,771 --> 00:18:38,770
Who wants drinks?
625
00:18:38,772 --> 00:18:40,170
I don't know. Why do I need to
know when Flannagan's coming?
626
00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:41,503
I'll take a drink.
627
00:18:41,623 --> 00:18:42,555
Because I got to get
rid of this coke.
628
00:18:42,675 --> 00:18:45,878
I put the coke in the top drawer
over there, and now, you know, I
629
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:46,712
got to get rid of it.
630
00:18:46,714 --> 00:18:47,680
You what?!
631
00:18:47,682 --> 00:18:48,481
I got to sell it back to him.
632
00:18:48,483 --> 00:18:49,764
If you put the coke in the top
drawer, whose cocaine is that?
633
00:18:49,884 --> 00:18:50,440
Huh?
634
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:51,501
I'm making the drinks.
635
00:18:51,708 --> 00:18:53,755
I'm faster than I've
ever been before.
636
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:55,436
Oh. Oh, God, that's cocaine!
637
00:18:55,556 --> 00:18:57,290
He's been doing cocaine.
638
00:18:57,292 --> 00:18:59,125
He's got to take it out of
our noses and our mouths.
639
00:18:59,127 --> 00:19:00,125
Guys, why is my face on fire?
640
00:19:00,127 --> 00:19:02,027
'Cause Andre's been giving us
co-laced drinks all night.
641
00:19:02,029 --> 00:19:06,050
I'm like the drummer in Def
Leppard, but I have both arms.
642
00:19:06,266 --> 00:19:08,202
That's why we're all jacked
up-- we're on cocaine?
643
00:19:08,322 --> 00:19:10,803
No, no, no, no, no, I'm on Aspartame,
sucralose and hairspray.
644
00:19:10,805 --> 00:19:13,805
But Chuck-- are you telling me right
now that Chuck is on cocaine?
645
00:19:13,807 --> 00:19:14,806
Oh, shit, yes!
646
00:19:14,808 --> 00:19:16,808
Oh, shit, I got to
get out of here.
647
00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:19,811
You look great. You look great. You look great...
I think he's gonna have a
648
00:19:19,813 --> 00:19:20,745
heart attack.
649
00:19:20,747 --> 00:19:21,746
Emergency! Coming through.
650
00:19:21,748 --> 00:19:22,514
Talk about freaking out.
651
00:19:22,516 --> 00:19:23,515
I'm freaking out.
652
00:19:23,517 --> 00:19:25,484
Calm down. I'm gonna talk
you through this, okay?
653
00:19:25,486 --> 00:19:26,518
Okay, okay.
654
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,820
You're probably gonna
have a heart attack.
655
00:19:28,822 --> 00:19:29,521
No, no, no, no, no.
656
00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:30,522
Don't worry. Don't worry.
657
00:19:30,524 --> 00:19:32,824
When you die, I'm gonna take
care of everything, brother.
658
00:19:32,826 --> 00:19:33,524
No! Bad!
659
00:19:33,526 --> 00:19:35,567
I'm gonna raise Ellie for you,
I'm gonna have sex with Jenny.
660
00:19:35,687 --> 00:19:37,462
I promise you, I promise you...
661
00:19:37,464 --> 00:19:38,529
Don't you dare!
662
00:19:38,531 --> 00:19:40,365
...I am not gonna wear a condom.
663
00:19:40,367 --> 00:19:41,199
Oh, God, please!
664
00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:42,200
You know what you need?
665
00:19:42,202 --> 00:19:43,201
What? What? What?
666
00:19:43,203 --> 00:19:44,068
You're gonna be okay.
667
00:19:44,070 --> 00:19:44,936
Okay. Yeah, I feel better.
668
00:19:44,938 --> 00:19:46,070
Let's do push-ups, come on.
669
00:19:46,072 --> 00:19:47,271
(overlapping chatter)
670
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:48,506
Push-ups.
671
00:19:48,508 --> 00:19:50,667
Down, down and up, down and
up, down and up...
672
00:19:52,855 --> 00:19:54,573
What the queer is going on here?
673
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,784
Oh look it's the drug dealer.
674
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:58,475
- We exchange the coke or not?
- Yes.
675
00:19:58,595 --> 00:20:01,379
We're here to exchange the coke but
oh shit, we did it all.
676
00:20:01,499 --> 00:20:02,440
Uh that's not good.
677
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,674
Two nut Chuck is back and he
wants some coke.
678
00:20:04,794 --> 00:20:05,548
YEEEEAH.
679
00:20:05,668 --> 00:20:07,059
Yo give us a go.
Give us a go.
680
00:20:07,179 --> 00:20:08,167
You want a DVD?
681
00:20:08,194 --> 00:20:08,961
***
682
00:20:09,081 --> 00:20:10,847
You want a DVR that's pharmaceutical
great stuff
683
00:20:10,967 --> 00:20:11,692
what do you want?
684
00:20:11,812 --> 00:20:14,017
- Do you have BluRays?
- I do have BluRays but that's oxycodone.
685
00:20:14,137 --> 00:20:16,567
It's so confusing.
I just want to get wasted.
686
00:20:16,687 --> 00:20:18,285
Hey, okay.
What do you want?
687
00:20:18,316 --> 00:20:20,059
I just want to order
some peanut butter cause
688
00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:22,886
Ruxin's about to get gum
in his head.
689
00:20:23,006 --> 00:20:25,194
- YEEEAH.
- YEEEAH.
690
00:20:28,198 --> 00:20:29,493
Charles?
691
00:20:30,094 --> 00:20:33,916
I sat in gum.
I sat in gum.
692
00:20:35,169 --> 00:20:37,648
Charles?
What the hell is going on?
693
00:20:37,768 --> 00:20:38,267
Grace.
694
00:20:39,957 --> 00:20:42,155
Feels like I'm wearing a tiny hat.
695
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:48,553
Sync by Sp8ky
www.addic7ed.com
696
00:20:48,603 --> 00:20:53,153
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