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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,835 --> 00:00:04,268 PETE: That was amazing. 2 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:07,099 You're so dirty. But that's what I love about... 3 00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:09,468 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that you guys were there. 4 00:00:09,642 --> 00:00:12,202 Hello, gentlemen. And welcome to the playoffs. 5 00:00:12,378 --> 00:00:14,369 [ON PHONE] Game one, very exciting. 6 00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:19,780 We've got Ruxin versus Andre, making a rare appearance in the playoffs. 7 00:00:19,952 --> 00:00:22,113 - [ON MONITOR] Good on you, kid. - You know it. I'm ready. 8 00:00:22,288 --> 00:00:26,486 Game two, we've got your three-peat champion... 9 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:29,127 ...taking on Kevin. Or actually, should I say Jenny? 10 00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:31,354 No. I'm gonna make my decisions this year. 11 00:00:31,530 --> 00:00:34,727 So the three out-of-town idiots have already shat the bed, of course. 12 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:37,835 Taco, looks like your dial-up connection finally caught up with you. 13 00:00:38,003 --> 00:00:40,164 TACO: Come on, Internet. - Are you even getting this? 14 00:00:40,339 --> 00:00:42,830 There's a reason that Meegan and I have gotten a divorce. 15 00:00:43,008 --> 00:00:45,499 [ON MONITOR] I was in love with another woman, Shiva. 16 00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:47,976 Our high-school valedictorian has become my trophy wife. 17 00:00:48,147 --> 00:00:51,514 And I don't think she's going anywhere any time soon, guys. 18 00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,015 [ON MONITOR] What's that? 19 00:00:53,519 --> 00:00:56,215 Oh, you naughty little minx. 20 00:00:56,388 --> 00:00:57,412 Okay. 21 00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,251 [GRUNTS THEN SIGHS] 22 00:00:59,425 --> 00:01:01,222 All right, sweetie, I'll be gentle. 23 00:01:01,393 --> 00:01:03,884 - That's not necessary. - [ON MONITOR] It's okay. You can watch. 24 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:05,724 Oh, Shiva. 25 00:01:05,898 --> 00:01:07,331 Okay, enough. Out. 26 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:08,694 See you on the gridiron, boys. 27 00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:09,892 [MOANS] 28 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:17,704 SOFIA: It's really sweet to be here with you, alone. Without the baby. 29 00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:20,311 Mm-hm. I think it's good. It's good we get a little break. 30 00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:21,810 We go home. We enjoy him. 31 00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:24,279 He gets a little break from us. He learns to be on his own. 32 00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:26,941 Yeah, but is it important to have a break right now? 33 00:01:27,119 --> 00:01:30,555 You know, at this age, I feel like we should be with him all the time. 34 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,588 RUXIN: Um... 35 00:01:32,758 --> 00:01:34,225 No, I think it's natural to... 36 00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:38,085 Oh, my God, we were talking about our son and you were staring at another woman. 37 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,960 I was just seeing if she would be a good nanny. 38 00:01:41,133 --> 00:01:44,068 I looked over at you and you were just down her cleavage. 39 00:01:44,236 --> 00:01:46,932 No. First of all, I couldn't see down her cleavage from this angle. 40 00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:49,404 Second, I was looking at her because I look at everyone... 41 00:01:49,575 --> 00:01:52,908 ...because I, as you know, am a keen observer of the human experience. 42 00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,605 Right? I'm like a Ken Burns documentary. 43 00:01:55,781 --> 00:01:58,875 If anything, I was checking her out to see how you stacked up. 44 00:01:59,051 --> 00:02:02,418 And let me tell you, you just won. This is like the final four, okay? 45 00:02:02,588 --> 00:02:05,819 So you just passed through that bracket and now you're playing Syracuse. 46 00:02:05,991 --> 00:02:09,051 Which is that surprisingly fit 40-year-old a couple booths back. 47 00:02:09,228 --> 00:02:10,490 You are a pig. 48 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:13,154 Are we still gonna go to Pinkberry on the way home? 49 00:02:13,332 --> 00:02:15,129 No. You suck. 50 00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,599 Welcome to mediation. 51 00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,898 - You understand how this works? - I think so. Yeah. 52 00:02:21,073 --> 00:02:22,904 - You think so? - I believe so. 53 00:02:23,075 --> 00:02:25,236 I'd love for you to know so, so I'll tell you quickly. 54 00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:27,436 I have Meegan's assets here... 55 00:02:27,613 --> 00:02:29,604 ...that she has given me. Her financial statements. 56 00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:31,682 Been waiting on yours. I hope you brought them. 57 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:34,513 - I do have them with me. - You did bring them today. Outstanding. 58 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:38,453 I do apologize. I realize I'm a little bit tardy. I wanted to get somewhat organized. 59 00:02:38,624 --> 00:02:42,458 We got mostly business stuff in the baggie. Might be an errant thing or two. 60 00:02:42,628 --> 00:02:44,823 - And you can make your way. - Sure. 61 00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:48,990 Uh, that is not how you spell "receipts," but I assume these are receipts from 2008? 62 00:02:49,168 --> 00:02:50,795 I was just chicken scratching it out. 63 00:02:51,437 --> 00:02:53,530 Was there...? There was food in this bag at some point? 64 00:02:53,706 --> 00:02:56,504 At some point, there were some food items in the bag. 65 00:02:58,642 --> 00:02:59,631 These are just batteries. Are these an asset? 66 00:02:59,810 --> 00:03:02,335 Those are rechargeable. I wouldn't mind having those. 67 00:03:02,470 --> 00:03:04,938 - Was there food also in the shoebox too? - No food. 68 00:03:05,105 --> 00:03:08,131 - Where's the food smell? - Some of the receipts might be from... 69 00:03:08,309 --> 00:03:09,901 ...a taco bag. - It's also from the box. 70 00:03:10,077 --> 00:03:11,567 It's from the box and the bag a bit. 71 00:03:11,745 --> 00:03:14,976 Oh, there is only one very specific request that Meegan has made... 72 00:03:15,149 --> 00:03:18,380 ...which is she would like the Benjamin Button DVD. 73 00:03:18,552 --> 00:03:21,612 I would like to make a statement of goodwill and buy her a new one. 74 00:03:21,789 --> 00:03:23,814 Just have it sent over. Just bury the hatchet. 75 00:03:23,991 --> 00:03:27,085 - Oh, okay. Oh, that is such a good movie. - Mm. 76 00:03:27,261 --> 00:03:28,285 [PHONE BUZZES THEN BEEPS] 77 00:03:28,462 --> 00:03:32,262 Especially when they get to New Orleans. Are you texting on your phone? 78 00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:35,698 I got a little, uh, Roethlisberger update on the elbow. 79 00:03:35,870 --> 00:03:38,566 - It's just kind of a knee-jerk reaction. - Is that code for something? 80 00:03:38,739 --> 00:03:40,502 - I don't know what that is. - Sorry about that. 81 00:03:40,674 --> 00:03:42,369 - I hope you're taking this seriously. - I am. 82 00:03:42,543 --> 00:03:44,841 I can assure you that Meegan is taking this very seriously. 83 00:03:45,012 --> 00:03:46,036 [SIGHS] 84 00:03:46,213 --> 00:03:48,306 You can't answer your phone during a mediator session. 85 00:03:48,482 --> 00:03:50,211 - It was a player alert. - It doesn't matter. 86 00:03:50,384 --> 00:03:52,648 This guy holds your life in his hands. 87 00:03:52,664 --> 00:03:55,064 - You know what, I know what this is. - What? What is this? 88 00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:56,860 You're not concerned about my well-being. 89 00:03:57,035 --> 00:03:59,401 You might be concerned about our match-up. 90 00:03:59,571 --> 00:04:01,903 - I'm not concerned at all. - You wanna put a wager behind it? 91 00:04:02,073 --> 00:04:03,404 Sure. What do you wanna bet? 92 00:04:03,575 --> 00:04:05,065 - The usual bet. - The usual bet. 93 00:04:05,243 --> 00:04:06,733 - Mm-hm. - Let's do it, buddy. 94 00:04:06,911 --> 00:04:08,708 Ooh, confidence, swagger. 95 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,246 So this is what happens when I'm not around. 96 00:04:11,416 --> 00:04:12,974 - Oh, no. - Oh, boy. 97 00:04:13,151 --> 00:04:14,345 KEVIN: No. - What? 98 00:04:14,519 --> 00:04:16,316 - You look like Powder. - Love that movie. 99 00:04:16,488 --> 00:04:18,718 What outfit lost to this one? Huh? 100 00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:20,983 What outfit did you hold up and you were like, "No"? 101 00:04:21,187 --> 00:04:23,121 Where you been the last few weeks? You're a ghost. 102 00:04:23,289 --> 00:04:26,588 - Heh. - I called you and you didn't answer. 103 00:04:26,759 --> 00:04:28,420 KEVIN: Mm-hm. - Did you call? 104 00:04:28,595 --> 00:04:29,653 - Are you seeing this? - Yeah. 105 00:04:29,829 --> 00:04:33,128 We got odd behavior, avoidance of friends, change of schedule. 106 00:04:33,299 --> 00:04:34,891 - Check, check, check. - Girlfriend. 107 00:04:35,068 --> 00:04:37,400 - First of all, let's say I have a girlfriend. KEVIN: Uh-huh. 108 00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:40,232 But if I did have a girlfriend, a gentleman never tells. 109 00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,271 - Oh, bullshit. PETE: Bullshit. 110 00:04:42,442 --> 00:04:43,636 - What? KEVIN: Stop, dude. 111 00:04:43,810 --> 00:04:45,300 A gentleman never tells if she's ugly. 112 00:04:45,478 --> 00:04:49,073 If she's hot, he takes a picture of her and mass texts it to all his friends. 113 00:04:49,249 --> 00:04:51,080 Okay, I'm buying you guys a drink. 114 00:04:51,251 --> 00:04:52,343 Taco, what are you drinking? 115 00:04:52,518 --> 00:04:54,486 TACO: Hey. - Whoa. Jesus, where'd you come from? 116 00:04:54,654 --> 00:04:55,916 Bathroom window was open. 117 00:04:56,089 --> 00:04:59,388 You know what, I'll take a glass of three-penis wine, please. 118 00:04:59,826 --> 00:05:01,885 - What is, uh, that? TACO: It's Chinese. 119 00:05:02,061 --> 00:05:04,552 It's made from the penis of a dog, a snake and a deer. 120 00:05:04,731 --> 00:05:07,256 - Of course. - It enhances male virility. 121 00:05:07,433 --> 00:05:08,457 Your second choice? 122 00:05:08,635 --> 00:05:11,570 - Two-penis wine would be good. - I'm just gonna get you a Bud Light. 123 00:05:11,738 --> 00:05:15,230 I'm a little embarrassed to say this, but I haven't been with a woman... 124 00:05:15,408 --> 00:05:17,137 ...in over a week and a half. - Oh. 125 00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:19,335 PETE: Oh, my gosh. ANDRE: Oh, no. 126 00:05:19,512 --> 00:05:22,481 Hey, Frank, dirty, dirty, rocks with a splash of Tabasco. 127 00:05:22,649 --> 00:05:23,673 PETE: Whoa, hard stuff. 128 00:05:23,850 --> 00:05:26,910 - What ails you, Satan? - My wife. She's super-pissed at me. 129 00:05:27,086 --> 00:05:29,179 You're lucky, it's Christmas. Get her a little gift... 130 00:05:29,355 --> 00:05:31,915 No, I wish I could buy my way out, but it's not gonna happen. 131 00:05:32,091 --> 00:05:38,030 The only thing Sofia wants right now are these ridiculous Chinese figurines. 132 00:05:38,197 --> 00:05:41,598 So I need to go down to Chinatown to buy them. 133 00:05:41,768 --> 00:05:43,201 I do not like that place. 134 00:05:43,369 --> 00:05:44,996 It smells like hot garbage. 135 00:05:45,171 --> 00:05:47,196 I'll take you. I know my way around there. 136 00:05:47,373 --> 00:05:49,341 I have to pick up some three-penis wine anyway. 137 00:05:49,509 --> 00:05:52,034 So we go down there, and we'll get... 138 00:05:52,912 --> 00:05:54,937 Sorry. What was the product that you wanted? 139 00:05:55,114 --> 00:05:56,672 Don't even worry about it. 140 00:05:57,850 --> 00:06:00,114 I don't know what to do here. Kurt Warner? Peyton Manning? 141 00:06:00,286 --> 00:06:01,810 Which one do I start? 142 00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:04,183 JENNY: Manning got us here. We gotta stick with him. 143 00:06:04,357 --> 00:06:05,517 [SIGHS] 144 00:06:05,692 --> 00:06:06,989 - I'm gonna go with Warner. - Don't. 145 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,651 - I'm making an executive decision. - I think you're freaking out. 146 00:06:09,829 --> 00:06:11,797 - You're making an executive decision? - No. Yep. 147 00:06:11,964 --> 00:06:14,194 And it is over. My decision's been made. 148 00:06:20,582 --> 00:06:24,018 I'm thinking with my gut, like a man. 149 00:06:24,185 --> 00:06:25,345 Wearing those man pants. 150 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:26,680 Yes. Man pants. 151 00:06:26,855 --> 00:06:28,618 - Maybe just a little too snug. - Nope. 152 00:06:28,790 --> 00:06:30,519 - Really? - Thirty-one, 32's. 153 00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:33,589 - Thirty-four, 32's. - Okay. 154 00:06:33,762 --> 00:06:35,753 - Go with Peyton. - I don't want to. 155 00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:38,228 - You're being a child. - I'm not being a child. 156 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,233 - Why are you not listening to me? - I wanna listen to myself. 157 00:06:41,403 --> 00:06:43,701 Enjoy losing. We could have won, one year. 158 00:06:46,621 --> 00:06:49,590 KEVIN: We're spending 20 minutes at Craig's, then we're out of here. Got it? 159 00:06:49,758 --> 00:06:52,488 - Fine. Please, hold my lip gloss. - No, I can't hold your lip gloss. 160 00:06:52,661 --> 00:06:54,060 I've got a whole system. 161 00:06:54,229 --> 00:06:57,392 Back left pocket, wallet. Front right pocket, cell phone. 162 00:06:57,566 --> 00:06:59,056 Front left pocket, freedom... 163 00:06:59,234 --> 00:07:01,828 ...for a possible leg crossover during conversation. 164 00:07:02,003 --> 00:07:03,903 "That's an interesting point." Boom, I'm there. 165 00:07:04,072 --> 00:07:06,734 I had no idea how complex man pants actually were. 166 00:07:06,908 --> 00:07:08,773 - I'm not gonna be your lip-gloss Sherpa. - Fine. 167 00:07:08,944 --> 00:07:12,038 - Carry your own shit. - I will hold my lip gloss. Put in Manning. 168 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:13,841 - This is my team, and my... PETE: Hey. 169 00:07:14,015 --> 00:07:15,141 - Hey. - Mr. and Mrs. Bickerson. 170 00:07:15,317 --> 00:07:16,409 - Hey. Hi. - Merry Christmas. 171 00:07:16,585 --> 00:07:17,984 - Pete. How are you? - Happy holidays. 172 00:07:18,153 --> 00:07:19,586 Uh, anything I can help out with? 173 00:07:19,754 --> 00:07:21,312 - No. - Mm-mm. We're good. 174 00:07:21,490 --> 00:07:23,685 - Anybody seen Craig around? - No. Just got here. 175 00:07:23,859 --> 00:07:25,326 All right, I'm gonna go find him... 176 00:07:25,494 --> 00:07:27,758 ...say something witty, so he knows I was here. 177 00:07:27,929 --> 00:07:29,920 And then I am out. You should join me. 178 00:07:30,098 --> 00:07:31,690 - We'll be right behind you. PETE: Don't dally. 179 00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:33,767 - Could we get out of here now? - I'm doing you a favor. 180 00:07:34,069 --> 00:07:35,093 Bryce. 181 00:07:35,271 --> 00:07:37,102 - Uh, hello. - Mr. Eckhart. 182 00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:39,241 Nice to see you. 183 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:43,440 I gotta say it's a little awkward seeing you here after the mediation. 184 00:07:43,612 --> 00:07:45,136 No. Let's not let it be weird. 185 00:07:45,314 --> 00:07:46,781 - This is Bryce at a party. - Yeah. 186 00:07:46,949 --> 00:07:48,940 - We're not in the mediation room. - Great. 187 00:07:49,118 --> 00:07:51,382 - I'm just here as a friend of Craig's. - Excellent. 188 00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:55,421 - How do you guys know each other? - We are in a soup group together. 189 00:07:55,591 --> 00:07:57,218 - Soup group. - You know what that is? 190 00:07:57,380 --> 00:08:01,373 We forage, uh, in public places and, like, city parks... 191 00:08:01,551 --> 00:08:04,452 ...and forest preserves and along the lakeshore... 192 00:08:04,621 --> 00:08:08,648 ...and we make soups out of only found items. 193 00:08:08,825 --> 00:08:09,849 [CHUCKLES] 194 00:08:10,026 --> 00:08:11,960 - It wasn't a joke. - Uh, it's not a joke? 195 00:08:12,829 --> 00:08:13,955 Why would I joke about that? 196 00:08:14,731 --> 00:08:16,323 Well, I, uh... 197 00:08:16,499 --> 00:08:18,228 I'm gonna, um... 198 00:08:18,401 --> 00:08:19,629 - I'm just gonna... - Okay. 199 00:08:19,802 --> 00:08:21,667 PETE: Yeah. - Make it weird. Gonna make it weird. 200 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,491 These figurines are awesome. I appreciate you helping me. 201 00:08:27,435 --> 00:08:29,960 - I am so hungry. - Oh, me too. 202 00:08:30,138 --> 00:08:32,402 - Oh, brother. I am hung... - All right. 203 00:08:32,573 --> 00:08:34,370 Yummy. Yum, yum, yum. 204 00:08:34,542 --> 00:08:38,239 My three-penis wine is gonna get me out of my sexual funk. 205 00:08:38,412 --> 00:08:41,779 It's made from snake penis, dog penis and deer penis. 206 00:08:41,949 --> 00:08:44,076 I'm pretty sure the deer penis does most of the work... 207 00:08:44,252 --> 00:08:46,049 ...and the two are just kind of for taste. 208 00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:50,054 You realize drinking that stuff is just, like, one step away from chugging dongs, right? 209 00:08:50,224 --> 00:08:51,623 Potato, potato. 210 00:08:52,727 --> 00:08:54,160 Aw... 211 00:08:54,695 --> 00:08:56,253 Look at that little guy. 212 00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:57,761 Look at him with the chair. 213 00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:00,798 Oh, getting comfy. Getting co... 214 00:09:00,968 --> 00:09:04,062 Aw, chewing on his tongue like it's gum. 215 00:09:04,238 --> 00:09:09,301 Now, a guy like that, is he slow or is he a frittata? 216 00:09:09,477 --> 00:09:13,311 Well, the guy that I knew like that, I used to call him, um, Tony. 217 00:09:13,481 --> 00:09:16,245 But that was his name. So I... 218 00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:18,009 Are you a Tony? 219 00:09:18,386 --> 00:09:19,819 I'm Taco. 220 00:09:20,388 --> 00:09:21,753 Poor Chinese frittata. 221 00:09:21,923 --> 00:09:23,049 [WAITER SPEAKING IN MANDARIN] 222 00:09:23,457 --> 00:09:25,254 - Oh, hey. Hello, sir. - All right. 223 00:09:25,426 --> 00:09:27,690 I would love a, uh, green tea. 224 00:09:27,862 --> 00:09:30,023 - Oh, yeah. - We don't. 225 00:09:30,198 --> 00:09:31,222 Hot tea. 226 00:09:31,399 --> 00:09:32,491 [SLURPS] 227 00:09:32,667 --> 00:09:35,033 TACO: Yeah. - Oh, okay. Oh, this. Thank you. 228 00:09:35,203 --> 00:09:36,534 This is very helpful. 229 00:09:36,704 --> 00:09:39,036 How about...? What's this? Can we get some of this? 230 00:09:39,207 --> 00:09:40,265 [WAITER SPEAKS IN MANDARIN] 231 00:09:40,441 --> 00:09:41,499 Well, should we get them? 232 00:09:41,676 --> 00:09:43,007 [WAITER SPEAKS IN MANDARIN] 233 00:09:43,177 --> 00:09:45,509 Okay, you're saying, "Oh, no, you didn't." 234 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:46,806 [SPEAKS IN MANDARIN] 235 00:09:46,981 --> 00:09:49,313 "Oh, girl, no, don't disrespect me." 236 00:09:49,483 --> 00:09:50,507 [SIGHS] 237 00:09:50,685 --> 00:09:53,153 Okay. Did we just order anything? 238 00:09:53,321 --> 00:09:54,788 I think maybe we're getting soup. 239 00:09:54,956 --> 00:09:58,084 - What makes you say that? - He was like, "soup." Soup sound. 240 00:09:58,259 --> 00:10:00,193 Hey, he's getting tea. 241 00:10:00,361 --> 00:10:02,261 He got here after us. How is he getting it first? 242 00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:03,556 [BOTH CHUCKLE] 243 00:10:03,731 --> 00:10:05,164 How is that guy getting tea? 244 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,164 Oh, he can't even drink it properly. 245 00:10:07,386 --> 00:10:09,911 Oh, now, that's my beef and broccoli. 246 00:10:10,089 --> 00:10:12,751 TACO: Oh, that looks so good. 247 00:10:12,925 --> 00:10:14,017 RUXIN: Oh, I'm so hungry. 248 00:10:14,193 --> 00:10:15,182 Mm. 249 00:10:17,277 --> 00:10:18,107 Now he's throwing it in our face. 250 00:10:18,412 --> 00:10:21,643 Oh. This guy has had a full meal before we have even had a bite to eat. 251 00:10:21,815 --> 00:10:24,477 And you know why? Because we don't speak the language. 252 00:10:24,651 --> 00:10:27,814 We are less equipped than this mentally handicapped person. 253 00:10:27,988 --> 00:10:30,047 I mean, at this point we're sub-frittata. 254 00:10:30,223 --> 00:10:32,020 MAN: Mm. 255 00:10:35,362 --> 00:10:38,525 Ladies and gentlemen. I have a very special surprise for you all. 256 00:10:38,699 --> 00:10:42,533 We're gonna play America's favorite parlor game, charades. 257 00:10:42,703 --> 00:10:45,263 - So, uh, let the games begin. - No, no. 258 00:10:45,439 --> 00:10:47,600 - Charades? - I would rather go to a Klan rally. 259 00:10:47,774 --> 00:10:50,504 - The games are on. We're missing them. - I'm making a quick exit. 260 00:10:50,677 --> 00:10:52,804 We're gonna follow you. We're out of here, right? 261 00:10:52,979 --> 00:10:54,844 Mm... Or we stay. 262 00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:57,944 - Hey. - Hi. 263 00:10:58,118 --> 00:11:00,348 - Charades, right? - Yeah, exactly. 264 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,750 - You're not leaving are you? - You know, I was just... 265 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,515 Oh, my God, you can't leave. We need you. 266 00:11:04,691 --> 00:11:06,886 - You need me? - A smart guy like you. Come on. 267 00:11:07,060 --> 00:11:09,028 - It's gonna be a hoot. - Yeah. 268 00:11:16,069 --> 00:11:17,093 WAITER: Hey. 269 00:11:17,270 --> 00:11:18,760 [WAITER SPEAKING IN MANDARIN] 270 00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:21,066 Okay. Right on, buddy. 271 00:11:21,241 --> 00:11:23,209 [ZIPPER UNZIPS THEN [URINE SPLASHING] 272 00:11:23,377 --> 00:11:26,107 [MOANS THEN GULPS] 273 00:11:26,279 --> 00:11:29,248 Chinatown urinal. I'm forever unclean. 274 00:11:29,416 --> 00:11:30,678 [MAN LAUGHING] 275 00:11:30,851 --> 00:11:32,580 RUXIN: Don't laugh. - Piss. 276 00:11:32,753 --> 00:11:34,414 I didn't piss on my hand. 277 00:11:34,588 --> 00:11:35,612 [LAUGHING] 278 00:11:35,789 --> 00:11:37,654 Old-Chinese-man piss. 279 00:11:37,824 --> 00:11:39,655 Whoo! It's a tough one. Okay. 280 00:11:40,093 --> 00:11:42,084 [BRYCE LAUGHS] 281 00:11:42,262 --> 00:11:43,422 [SIGHS THEN SHIVERS] 282 00:11:43,597 --> 00:11:44,894 BRYCE: Um... 283 00:11:45,065 --> 00:11:47,124 KEVIN: Okay. - Eyes? Focus. 284 00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,268 That was to the team, not part of the game. 285 00:11:49,436 --> 00:11:51,233 PETE: The Karate Kid? - The Animal? 286 00:11:51,405 --> 00:11:52,429 PETE: The... 287 00:11:52,606 --> 00:11:56,633 Would you like to wait for a gesture, or would you like to keep guessing? Okay. 288 00:11:57,144 --> 00:11:58,270 JENNY: Ten? - Ten words? 289 00:11:58,445 --> 00:12:00,777 - Ten words? JENNY: Second word? 290 00:12:00,947 --> 00:12:03,074 CRAIG: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum? 291 00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:04,911 Yes, yes, yes. Nice. 292 00:12:05,085 --> 00:12:09,681 - All right. Go team. Good job, Bryce. - Good. 293 00:12:09,856 --> 00:12:12,347 Can you tell sexual orientation by how much he loves charades? 294 00:12:12,526 --> 00:12:14,118 - Absolutely. - Yeah, I think so. 295 00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:16,127 - TV show. KEVIN: Boy in the Bubble. 296 00:12:16,296 --> 00:12:17,524 BRYCE: TV show. Two words. 297 00:12:17,697 --> 00:12:18,789 - Sounds like... - Giant prick. 298 00:12:18,965 --> 00:12:20,557 - Rose. JENNY: Melrose Place. 299 00:12:20,734 --> 00:12:23,134 - Melrose Place. Nice. - Yay! 300 00:12:23,303 --> 00:12:24,861 BRYCE: Nice, Craig. PETE: Yay. 301 00:12:25,238 --> 00:12:27,468 ALL: Movie? One word. 302 00:12:27,641 --> 00:12:29,040 - Equus. CRAIG: Hoosiers. 303 00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:30,437 BRYCE: Dune? Dune? 304 00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:31,668 Is it Dune? Is it Dune? 305 00:12:31,845 --> 00:12:33,779 - It's not Dune. - Space Walk? Moonwalker? 306 00:12:33,947 --> 00:12:35,414 PETE: Garbage? JENNY: Man on the Moon? 307 00:12:35,582 --> 00:12:38,346 CRAIG: Repo Man. - You're tired. You're mad. 308 00:12:38,518 --> 00:12:40,543 - You're a mad farmer? - Beaches. 309 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,483 Beaches. Come on. 310 00:12:42,656 --> 00:12:46,148 You were acting like a mad, space hobo. I'm sorry. 311 00:12:46,326 --> 00:12:47,350 [KEVIN SIGHS] 312 00:12:47,527 --> 00:12:49,085 That was bad. 313 00:12:49,262 --> 00:12:50,729 [BRYCE SIGHS] 314 00:12:50,897 --> 00:12:54,856 So we are down by eight. We have one round to make it up. 315 00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:57,333 Let's do this, guys, come on. Let's do this, come on. 316 00:12:57,504 --> 00:12:59,972 ALL [CHANTING]: Let's win, let's win, let's win. 317 00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:01,732 Let's win, let's win, let's win. 318 00:13:01,908 --> 00:13:03,170 Please get me out of here. 319 00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:05,709 - Okay, great. Put in Manning, we'll leave. - Really? 320 00:13:05,879 --> 00:13:08,575 Change your lineup. The afternoon game hasn't even started. 321 00:13:08,748 --> 00:13:11,911 - Fine, I'll do it. Can we get out of here? BRYCE: Let's win. Whoo! 322 00:13:12,085 --> 00:13:13,416 - Wow, okay. BRYCE: Here we go. 323 00:13:13,587 --> 00:13:14,849 Phew. Yikes, toughie. 324 00:13:15,021 --> 00:13:16,386 - Time. - Let's go, let's go. 325 00:13:16,957 --> 00:13:18,822 Uh... Uh... 326 00:13:18,992 --> 00:13:21,586 ALL: Book. First word. 327 00:13:21,761 --> 00:13:23,285 PETE: Little. - Small word. 328 00:13:23,463 --> 00:13:25,829 - The. Second word. CRAIG: Let's go. 329 00:13:25,999 --> 00:13:28,024 - Uh... JENNY: Face. Your face. 330 00:13:28,201 --> 00:13:29,725 Gay. 331 00:13:29,903 --> 00:13:33,202 Uh, sorry. I didn't mean that in terms of you. 332 00:13:33,373 --> 00:13:36,206 It was more in terms of the character you were portraying. 333 00:13:36,376 --> 00:13:39,140 I was standing perfectly still, pointing at my face. 334 00:13:39,312 --> 00:13:40,711 KEVIN: Mask. 335 00:13:41,181 --> 00:13:42,671 We're not doing it anymore. 336 00:13:42,849 --> 00:13:46,285 - Bryce, I'm so sorry that this happened. - Good day. 337 00:13:46,453 --> 00:13:49,616 - Craig, I will see you at soup group. KEVIN: I'm sorry. 338 00:13:49,789 --> 00:13:51,620 Did you say you would see him at soup group? 339 00:13:51,791 --> 00:13:53,554 - Soup group. - Wonderful. 340 00:13:53,727 --> 00:13:56,218 Mr. Eckhart, I will have my decision by the end of the week. 341 00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:59,360 - I bid you adieu. KEVIN: Oh, dear God. 342 00:13:59,533 --> 00:14:01,057 [PETE SIGHS] 343 00:14:01,234 --> 00:14:03,293 - Not good. - Yeah. 344 00:14:04,604 --> 00:14:05,628 [TACO SIGHS] 345 00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:07,102 How was the bathroom? 346 00:14:07,507 --> 00:14:09,737 It was fine. I just washed my hands. 347 00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:11,172 Did you order anything yet? 348 00:14:11,344 --> 00:14:12,504 No. They didn't come by. 349 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:16,547 I cracked open the penis wine and I've never had it on an empty stomach before. 350 00:14:16,716 --> 00:14:18,183 It is really, really working. 351 00:14:21,370 --> 00:14:22,735 You have really thick, lustrous hair. 352 00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,372 No, I don't. I use Rogaine. 353 00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:27,566 - Dirty secretary glasses. - I'm not a dirty secretary. 354 00:14:32,453 --> 00:14:35,013 - What are they? - I think he's talking about you. 355 00:14:35,189 --> 00:14:37,555 [MAN SPEAKING IN MANDARIN] 356 00:14:37,725 --> 00:14:39,556 I washed my hands in the urinal. 357 00:14:40,128 --> 00:14:41,152 So? 358 00:14:41,329 --> 00:14:43,490 [ALL LAUGHING] 359 00:14:43,664 --> 00:14:48,863 And now he's making jokes at me, like some tiny frittata Don Rickles. 360 00:14:49,037 --> 00:14:50,061 [MAN MAKES CRYING SOUNDS] 361 00:14:50,238 --> 00:14:52,229 [ALL LAUGHING] 362 00:14:52,407 --> 00:14:54,398 I didn't cry. I did not cry in there. 363 00:14:55,543 --> 00:14:57,272 I didn't piss on my hands. Exc... 364 00:14:57,445 --> 00:14:59,743 Excuse me. I did not piss on my hands. 365 00:14:59,914 --> 00:15:03,281 You're being very mean. Thank you. 366 00:15:03,451 --> 00:15:04,543 [MAN MAKES URINATING SOUNDS] 367 00:15:04,719 --> 00:15:06,619 [ALL LAUGHING] 368 00:15:06,788 --> 00:15:09,188 Your words hurt people. You need to know that. 369 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,524 That is not very nice. 370 00:15:13,499 --> 00:15:14,830 You have such silky... 371 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,467 - Taco! - Sorry. 372 00:15:16,669 --> 00:15:17,601 He cry. 373 00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:18,634 [ALL LAUGHING] 374 00:15:21,812 --> 00:15:24,747 - Did Andre even call you? - No. I just told everyone to meet us here. 375 00:15:24,915 --> 00:15:27,645 JENNY: Pick it up, guys, because the game's almost over. Come on. 376 00:15:28,585 --> 00:15:30,951 - Good, good, good. Hi. - Hey. 377 00:15:31,121 --> 00:15:33,089 KEVIN: Happy holidays. - What can I get you? 378 00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:35,191 Was wondering if you could turn that television... 379 00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:36,792 ...to the Philly-San Francisco game. 380 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,325 - You gotta be kidding me. KEVIN: No. 381 00:15:38,495 --> 00:15:41,487 I understand the Bears game is close, and that game is a blowout. 382 00:15:41,665 --> 00:15:43,826 - There's a lot of implications on the line. - Whole lot. 383 00:15:44,001 --> 00:15:46,868 We both have players on the Eagles. He's got Brian Westbrook. 384 00:15:47,037 --> 00:15:49,096 I've got Donovan McNabb. It's very close. 385 00:15:49,273 --> 00:15:51,070 It would mean a lot to us. You understand? 386 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:52,606 It was a Fantasy Football thing... 387 00:15:52,776 --> 00:15:53,800 - Yes. - Yes. 388 00:15:53,977 --> 00:15:56,241 - That was my fault initially. - You'll change the channel? 389 00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,675 No. We can't do it. 390 00:15:57,848 --> 00:15:59,076 I will drink a lot. 391 00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:01,945 She is a lush. She will drink this whole bar down. 392 00:16:02,119 --> 00:16:05,384 - She will vomit in her hair. Trust me. - Everyone here will remember it. 393 00:16:05,555 --> 00:16:08,888 She will not do any of these things, because she is a respectable mother. 394 00:16:09,059 --> 00:16:10,549 One second. 395 00:16:11,094 --> 00:16:12,288 - No love. RUXIN: Hey, hey, hey. 396 00:16:12,462 --> 00:16:15,363 - What's going on with the game? - Warden won't change the channel. 397 00:16:15,532 --> 00:16:18,933 - Where have you guys been? - I had to go get some figurines for my wife. 398 00:16:19,102 --> 00:16:20,865 - Wonderful. - Hey, Pete. How's it going? 399 00:16:22,239 --> 00:16:24,469 Uh, just he fondled me. What's the word here? 400 00:16:24,641 --> 00:16:25,665 Oh, Dr. Octopus here? 401 00:16:25,842 --> 00:16:29,039 He drank a bunch of three-penis wine and he's been trying to give me a handy. 402 00:16:29,212 --> 00:16:30,474 Stop it. We were play-wrestling. 403 00:16:30,647 --> 00:16:32,478 What's going on? I got DeSean Jackson. 404 00:16:32,649 --> 00:16:35,777 If he scores a touchdown, I beat Andre and I'm going to the Shiva Bowl. 405 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,615 Let's get this figured out. Really? We're gonna watch it on a phone? 406 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:41,417 - Well, this is the best we can do. - They're in the red zone. 407 00:16:41,591 --> 00:16:44,924 KEVIN: And Philly, first and goal at the six. - Oh, brother. 408 00:16:45,095 --> 00:16:48,656 You know what, guys, I'm not going to experience my beautiful victory over Kevin... 409 00:16:48,832 --> 00:16:50,857 ...on a 3-inch screen that's constantly refreshing. 410 00:16:51,034 --> 00:16:53,559 We're gonna do this, we're gonna do this right. 411 00:16:54,371 --> 00:16:56,635 KEVIN: Buffering 37 percent. JENNY: Oh, oh, oh! 412 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,332 PATRONS: Whoa! No, no, no. - One second. 413 00:16:59,509 --> 00:17:01,306 - One second, guys. - Are you insane? 414 00:17:01,478 --> 00:17:03,639 - Not the menu button. - Hit the aux button. 415 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,076 Put the Bears back on. 416 00:17:05,248 --> 00:17:07,148 Philly's first, Bears right... One second. 417 00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:09,444 - Go to all channels. MAN: You don't put the Bears on... 418 00:17:09,619 --> 00:17:12,486 ...I will murder the shit out of you. - All right, enough, sir. 419 00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:15,754 - God, Kevin. MAN: What are you doing, man? 420 00:17:15,926 --> 00:17:18,087 - Hey. - My figurine. 421 00:17:18,261 --> 00:17:19,455 - Come on. Put the... JENNY: Whoa. 422 00:17:19,629 --> 00:17:22,496 Down, ape man. You all just back off. 423 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,099 All of you. 424 00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:27,725 I worked really hard this year to put together an amazing team. 425 00:17:27,904 --> 00:17:29,929 I have studied the waver wire. 426 00:17:30,107 --> 00:17:31,699 I know all the sleepers. 427 00:17:31,875 --> 00:17:34,207 I have done the bi-week plug-ins. I've done it all. 428 00:17:34,378 --> 00:17:38,747 And all I wanna do is watch the game, and find out how my team does. 429 00:17:38,915 --> 00:17:40,542 It's really my team. She doesn't really... 430 00:17:40,717 --> 00:17:42,548 JENNY: Yeah. Hold my purse, Kevin. 431 00:17:42,719 --> 00:17:44,653 - Boys, let's go. Come on. - Cut you, bitch. 432 00:17:44,821 --> 00:17:46,049 RUXIN: Oh, my God. 433 00:17:46,223 --> 00:17:47,815 - Wow. Jenny, nice work. JENNY: Whoo! 434 00:17:47,991 --> 00:17:49,720 PETE: Whoa. - Jesus, gangster. 435 00:17:49,893 --> 00:17:51,690 PETE: Nice, Xena. - Why did you do this? 436 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,887 KEVIN: Refresh. JENNY: Come on, come on, come on. 437 00:17:54,264 --> 00:17:56,391 JENNY & KEVIN: Westbrook, Westbrook. - Refresh. 438 00:17:56,566 --> 00:17:58,397 - Come on, McNabb. JENNY: Come on. 439 00:17:58,568 --> 00:18:00,331 - McNabb touchdown. - Touchdown, McNabb. 440 00:18:00,504 --> 00:18:02,301 - He's poor. He's divorced. - Damn it. 441 00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,406 He's in the Shiva Bowl. Thank you. 442 00:18:04,574 --> 00:18:06,269 - Who'd he throw to? - lf I'd played Warner... 443 00:18:06,443 --> 00:18:07,933 - Who'd he throw to? ...7 extra points. 444 00:18:08,111 --> 00:18:10,636 - Did he throw it to DeSean Jackson? KEVIN: Will you not? 445 00:18:10,814 --> 00:18:14,375 He threw to not DeSean Jackson. 446 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,178 [PETE LAUGHS] 447 00:18:16,353 --> 00:18:17,945 No! 448 00:18:18,121 --> 00:18:20,749 My wife is pissed at me. I ruined her Christmas present. 449 00:18:21,224 --> 00:18:24,125 And my season is over. My season is over! 450 00:18:25,262 --> 00:18:26,729 Hey, what are you doing? I need that. 451 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:31,163 Not as much as I do. I'm gonna, ugh, make my wife happy. 452 00:18:32,436 --> 00:18:34,301 TACO: Oh, that's too much. 453 00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:37,473 - Good luck, Hulk. - See you, Ruxin. 454 00:18:37,808 --> 00:18:38,832 [TACO SIGHS] 455 00:18:39,009 --> 00:18:40,772 TACO: My nipples are rock hard. 456 00:18:40,944 --> 00:18:43,276 I gotta go home and take care of this. I'll see you guys. 457 00:18:43,447 --> 00:18:45,972 - I thought I had it this year. JENNY: I can't believe that. 458 00:18:46,149 --> 00:18:47,946 KEVIN: And now it's just... It's over, so... 459 00:18:48,318 --> 00:18:50,081 Well, it's not officially over, actually. 460 00:18:50,253 --> 00:18:53,950 There's still a small matter of the bet. 461 00:18:54,124 --> 00:18:56,524 - Yeah. The usual bet. PETE: Mm-hm. 462 00:18:56,693 --> 00:18:58,490 You didn't make that same bet again? 463 00:18:58,662 --> 00:19:02,291 It's weird though, the usual bet may have to take a unusual turn this year... 464 00:19:02,466 --> 00:19:06,960 ...due to the fact that I technically did not really run my team. 465 00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:08,764 PETE: That's an excellent point. - Yeah. 466 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:12,204 Jenny, you have made it emphatically clear that you set the lineups. 467 00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,775 You do the trades. You do most of the work, so... 468 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,175 - You're really gonna make me do this? - Yeah. 469 00:19:17,347 --> 00:19:19,975 You always say you wanna be one of the boys, Jenny. 470 00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:23,313 And boys do stupid things, like get naked in alleyways. 471 00:19:23,487 --> 00:19:25,182 Yep. For a minimum of two minutes. 472 00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:29,184 Don't worry though. I'm gonna hold your purse and your lip gloss. 473 00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:30,724 JENNY: Yeah. Fine. 474 00:19:32,662 --> 00:19:34,254 No? 475 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,194 - A bet's a bet. - You ready? 476 00:19:39,369 --> 00:19:40,996 You sure? 477 00:19:41,671 --> 00:19:42,501 Two minutes. 478 00:19:44,856 --> 00:19:47,222 PETE: Wow, she's actually doing it. 479 00:19:47,392 --> 00:19:49,189 KEVIN: A bet's a bet. 480 00:19:49,534 --> 00:19:52,332 By the way, can you believe Andre actually won? 481 00:19:52,504 --> 00:19:55,064 He's in the Shiva Bowl. He's not even here to enjoy it. 482 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,332 [SCOFFS] 483 00:19:57,042 --> 00:19:59,033 I did it. I did it. 484 00:19:59,188 --> 00:20:01,986 - I'm going to the Shiva Bowl, baby. Shiva. WOMAN: Andre? 485 00:20:02,625 --> 00:20:04,217 Uh, I'm in here. 486 00:20:04,627 --> 00:20:05,651 - Hey. - Hey. 487 00:20:05,828 --> 00:20:08,023 - What are you doing? - Just finishing up some work. 488 00:20:08,698 --> 00:20:11,565 - Mm, how's it going? - It is going great, Shiva. 489 00:20:11,734 --> 00:20:13,292 - Absolutely great. - Hee-hee. 490 00:20:13,469 --> 00:20:15,232 - Ready for bed? - Indeed, I am. 491 00:20:15,404 --> 00:20:18,305 - Mm. - Indeed I am, Shiva. 492 00:20:21,744 --> 00:20:24,042 Oh, yeah, baby. Come to Taco. 493 00:20:24,555 --> 00:20:27,615 You look like that actress from The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. 494 00:20:27,792 --> 00:20:29,851 Yeah, you wanna steal that other woman's baby. 495 00:20:30,027 --> 00:20:31,289 Yeah. Oh, come on, come on. 496 00:20:31,462 --> 00:20:32,622 Come on. No, no, no. 497 00:20:32,797 --> 00:20:33,991 Hey. 498 00:20:34,165 --> 00:20:35,826 No, no, no. Hey. 499 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,024 This is... 500 00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:38,691 [SCOFF THEN SIGHS] 501 00:20:38,869 --> 00:20:39,893 Uh! 502 00:20:39,943 --> 00:20:44,493 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40280

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