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Previously on
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"The Increasingly Poor
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"Decisions of Todd Margaret."
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Brent Wilts: How would you
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like to go to London?
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Sell energy drinks to the U.K.!
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Todd Margaret: I was looking
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for dynamic integrated
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business solutions.
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Wh-whas your name?
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Dave: Dave.
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How are you planning
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to sell all this shit?
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We have found
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a suspect package,
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and we are gonna blow it up.
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Oh!
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That's my luggage.
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Woman: Two weeks ago,
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I made the mistake
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of sleeping with you.
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That mistake doesn't
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make me your girlfriend.
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Alice: Pleased to meet you.
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Pleased to meet you.
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And here is a gentleman's kiss
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for a true princess
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of the kitchen.
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You grew up in Leeds?
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My dad lives in Leeds.
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Li-lived in Leeds.
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He's dead, 'cause I did
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grow up in Leeds,
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if anybody asks.
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I'm just saying.
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Oh!
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Pervert.
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And if I see you again,
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I'll rip your balls off!
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>>Ou love it, don't ya?
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Have another.
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Show 'em how much you love it.
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You've gotta show 'em
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the energy, Todd.
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You don't need another one.
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No!
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I want one!
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Oh, oh!
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I'd like to buy
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a can of "Thunder Muscle."
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You're a nice lady.
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-- sync by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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A Plan Is Hatched and a Date Is Not a Date
Original Air Date on October 8, 2010 [S01E02]
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The charges include
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child endangerment, espionage,
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embezzlement, persistent
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public urination,
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impersonating a gentleman.
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Order!
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Order!
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Silence in court!
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Good morning,
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Mr. Margaret.
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Buttered scone?
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Hey, thanks, Jimmy.
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Morning, Todd.
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You need to sign off
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on the Leeds account,
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and you're 3 o'clock
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has been moved to 16 o'clock,
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and your lunch with
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Simon Cowell is going
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to be fish and chips.
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Oh, fish and chips again?
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That's all I eat.
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I know-- I'm sorry, sir.
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How's your cat doing?
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Did my dad call?
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Yeah, but you said
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he's dead, remember?
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Oh, right-right.
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Answer your telephone.
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Hey, could somebody
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answer the phone, please?
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Todd, my date's here.
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Do I have to do
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everything myself?
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You need to go.
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I have to do
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everything myself.
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Hello.
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Good afternoon,
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Todd Margaret.
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This is Todd.
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It certainly is.
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Who is this?
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It's me, mate.
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Oh, hey, Dave-Dave.
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There you go.
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Are you all right, Todd?
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You drank a lot of that
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Thunder Muscle yesterday.
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Yeah.
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Uh, oh, did we sell
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any Thunder Muscle?
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Nope, not a single can,
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not a one.
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Oh, damn it.
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But anything can happen.
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The day's not over yet.
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Well, I mean, it nearly is.
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Wait-- why?
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Wh-what time is it?
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Uh, 1:45.
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What?
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Oh, uh, shit.
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Okay-- yes.
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I'll be in the office
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in a minute.
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Okay.
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Ta-ta.
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[ Knocking ]
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Yeah.
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Yes, coming.
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Woman: Oy!
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What are you on about?
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I was using the phone.
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Oh.
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Nice place, Mr. Posh.
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I'm sorry.
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Can I ask you not to,
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uh, smoke in here, please?
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Oh, yeah, sorry.
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Sorry.
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No, don't.
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Mom, the babe's eatin'
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all me cheese strings.
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Oy!
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What have I told you
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about knickin' other people's
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cheese strings?
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Kids, huh?
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Ain't worth half
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as much as they used to be.
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Well, it was very nice
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to meet you.
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Uh, thanks for coming in.
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Oh, you're American.
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Pam's got somethin'
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of a thing for Americans.
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Oh, I'm from Leeds,
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fortunately.
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Oh.
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Ah, I think my water
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is breaking.
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Oh, I don't wanna make a mess.
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All right.
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Okay, I'll see you later.
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All right.
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Come on, Sambuca.
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Are you me new daddy?
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[ Music ]
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Morning.
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Piss off.
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Oh, this place, Alice.
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Alice?
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Oh, Jesus.
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Last night, you were just,
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uh, that was amazing.
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I mean, for me to come,
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like I did, you know,
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all over the place.
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I-I made quite
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a mess and-- oh.
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I see you've heard
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about "Thunder Muscle."
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Yeah, that's the poisonous
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crap that made you go
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mental in here yesterday.
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I-I looked it up on "google,"
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and the Korean translates
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as "bad sanitation.
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"Caution to proceed
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"with beverage."
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I don't see
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a problem with that.
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You don't see
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a problem with that?
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No.
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It's-- "Thunder Muscle" is good.
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"Thunder Muscle" is good.
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All right.
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So, if it wasn't
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the poisonous crap that made
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you go mental, you must've
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been drunk, then.
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No, alice-- I don't drink.
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Oh, yes, I had a few beers
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for salesman purposes.
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But, uh, the reason
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I appeared drunk was because
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I was actually woozy,
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lightheaded because of
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all the blood I had
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donated earlier in the day.
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You gave blood?
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Yes.
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It's the first thing I do
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when I go to a new country
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is donate blood.
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Not that this is a new country,
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'cause I spent my summers
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in Leeds with my dad,
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who recently died.
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Yeah, we were pretty close,
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dad and I.
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He was a good man.
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That's a lovely thing to do.
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Where did you donate blood?
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Um, I donated it to a sick
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little English girl-- cancer.
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Oh.
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Well, you know, if-if she
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gets better, you bring her
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in here and she can have--
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I can't, 'cause she's dead.
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She-- yeah.
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Already?
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Yeah, yeah.
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It was tragic.
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Her body rejected my blood.
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It was too good,
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too rich, really.
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It's like when you go
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to an expensive restaurant,
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and you have
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a really nice meal,
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and it's creamy,
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and you love it,
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but then, it's like afterwards,
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like, I don't know.
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That was too much, you know?
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I feel sick.
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Er.
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Okay.
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Well, thanks, Todd
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I've gotta get on here.
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You know, I'm busy.
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I've gotta make money
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to pay for all the stuff
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you broke yesterday.
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So, you know, unless you're
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gonna order some food or--
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Alice-Alice, I fully
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intend to replace anything
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I broke or damaged.
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I mean, it's the least
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I could do.
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Hmm.
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Well, it's not
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the least I could do.
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You know, I could go,
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"hey, kiss my ass, bitch.
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"I ain't paying you shit.
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"Boom!"
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Hey, what's wrong with you?
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No.
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Um, all right.
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What-what's the most
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expensive thing you have
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on your menu?
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It's the gut Buster
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breakfast.
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Okay.
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Alice, I would like to order--
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let's say 32 gut Buster
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breakfasts and 32 large,
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fresh-squeezed orange juice.
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Put it on my card,
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expense account.
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Okay-- I will.
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Morning, Dave.
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Evening.
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Breakfast?
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Uh, no.
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Juice?
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No bag juice for me.
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Thank you.
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All right.
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Well, I'll set 'em here
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in case you want 'em later.
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Oh, this was weird.
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I went on Google earth
294
00:06:52,739 --> 00:06:54,173
earlier to check out 21
295
00:06:54,207 --> 00:06:55,207
and 50 Church Avenue, you know,
296
00:06:55,241 --> 00:06:56,008
where you spent
297
00:06:56,042 --> 00:06:56,475
your summers in Leeds.
298
00:06:56,509 --> 00:06:58,077
Yeah.
299
00:06:58,111 --> 00:06:58,677
Well, how long were you
300
00:06:58,711 --> 00:06:59,044
gonna keep that
301
00:06:59,079 --> 00:07:00,079
a secret from me?
302
00:07:00,113 --> 00:07:01,380
Uh, what?
303
00:07:01,414 --> 00:07:03,549
Twenty-one Church Avenue.
304
00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:05,451
You lived in a hospital.
305
00:07:05,485 --> 00:07:06,418
Yeah.
306
00:07:06,453 --> 00:07:07,252
Well, here's the thing.
307
00:07:07,287 --> 00:07:08,220
My dad-- I didn't wanna say it
308
00:07:08,254 --> 00:07:09,321
as, uh, it embarrassing,
309
00:07:09,355 --> 00:07:10,689
but my dad had a bit
310
00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:11,757
of a temper, so I spent
311
00:07:11,791 --> 00:07:13,092
half of my time there.
312
00:07:13,126 --> 00:07:13,725
Oh, I thought you said
313
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:14,226
you had great times
314
00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:15,294
with your dad.
315
00:07:15,328 --> 00:07:16,728
I did.
316
00:07:16,763 --> 00:07:18,330
I was really a masochist
317
00:07:18,364 --> 00:07:19,731
back then.
318
00:07:19,766 --> 00:07:20,699
So, you know, it worked out.
319
00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:21,400
But, hey, listen to this.
320
00:07:21,434 --> 00:07:23,602
Good news-- I'm going on a date.
321
00:07:23,636 --> 00:07:24,369
Really?
322
00:07:24,404 --> 00:07:25,070
Yeah.
323
00:07:25,105 --> 00:07:26,105
Who's the lucky prostitute?
324
00:07:26,139 --> 00:07:27,005
No, seriously.
325
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,173
You know Alice from the cafe?
326
00:07:28,208 --> 00:07:28,674
Oh, what, her mom?
327
00:07:28,708 --> 00:07:30,375
No, her.
328
00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:31,643
I'm going on a date with her.
329
00:07:31,678 --> 00:07:32,878
I figure, you know, I owe her
330
00:07:32,912 --> 00:07:34,046
'cause of yesterday
331
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,214
and all that stuff and, uh,
332
00:07:35,248 --> 00:07:36,782
I told her I'd take her
333
00:07:36,816 --> 00:07:37,783
to the pub for dinner.
334
00:07:37,817 --> 00:07:38,917
Oh, the pub,
335
00:07:38,952 --> 00:07:39,952
what a true gentleman.
336
00:07:39,986 --> 00:07:41,186
That I am.
337
00:07:41,221 --> 00:07:41,954
Um, would you call them
338
00:07:41,988 --> 00:07:43,222
and make a reservation
339
00:07:43,256 --> 00:07:44,790
for two for 6 o'clock?
340
00:07:44,824 --> 00:07:45,357
I don't think
341
00:07:45,391 --> 00:07:47,626
they do reservations.
342
00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:48,260
Excuse me.
343
00:07:48,294 --> 00:07:49,094
Was that just you
344
00:07:49,129 --> 00:07:50,062
undermining my authority?
345
00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:51,396
No.
346
00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:53,065
Do t make me give you
347
00:07:53,099 --> 00:07:55,501
another verbal warning.
348
00:07:55,535 --> 00:07:56,702
Reservation it is, then.
349
00:07:56,736 --> 00:07:58,003
Oh, before I forget,
350
00:07:58,037 --> 00:07:58,470
something came for you
351
00:07:58,505 --> 00:07:59,371
in the post today.
352
00:07:59,405 --> 00:08:01,206
It's a company checkbook
353
00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:02,641
and your very own company
354
00:08:02,675 --> 00:08:04,042
mobile phone with the number
355
00:08:04,077 --> 00:08:05,110
of the head office preset.
356
00:08:05,145 --> 00:08:06,712
Whoa-- preset.
357
00:08:06,746 --> 00:08:08,180
Yeah.
358
00:08:08,214 --> 00:08:08,847
Oh, and Mr. Wilts called.
359
00:08:08,882 --> 00:08:09,548
Huh?
360
00:08:09,582 --> 00:08:11,517
Oh-- what did he want?
361
00:08:11,551 --> 00:08:11,984
He wants to know
362
00:08:12,018 --> 00:08:12,618
how the sales are going,
363
00:08:12,652 --> 00:08:14,153
you wilted prick.
364
00:08:14,187 --> 00:08:14,953
His words, of course.
365
00:08:14,988 --> 00:08:15,787
Well, except for "wilted."
366
00:08:15,822 --> 00:08:18,157
I added that.
367
00:08:18,191 --> 00:08:19,625
All right.
368
00:08:19,659 --> 00:08:21,960
Uh, well, here goes nothin'.
369
00:08:28,735 --> 00:08:29,101
Hey, numb nuts.
370
00:08:29,135 --> 00:08:30,169
Is that you?
371
00:08:30,203 --> 00:08:31,136
Hey, Mr. Wilts.
372
00:08:31,171 --> 00:08:31,737
How's it going over there?
373
00:08:31,771 --> 00:08:32,838
Good, good.
374
00:08:32,872 --> 00:08:33,539
You making me any money?
375
00:08:33,573 --> 00:08:34,540
Oh, yeah.
376
00:08:34,574 --> 00:08:35,274
You were right, sir.
377
00:08:35,308 --> 00:08:35,874
The brits love
378
00:08:35,909 --> 00:08:37,376
their energy drinks.
379
00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:39,611
Ooh, tell me about it.
380
00:08:39,646 --> 00:08:41,113
Tell.
381
00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:42,214
What?
382
00:08:42,248 --> 00:08:43,048
Get the cock
383
00:08:43,082 --> 00:08:44,183
out of your ear, dumb fuck.
384
00:08:44,217 --> 00:08:45,517
I just said "tell me about it!"
385
00:08:45,552 --> 00:08:46,818
Oh, right.
386
00:08:46,853 --> 00:08:49,955
Uh, well, um, uh, I made
387
00:08:49,989 --> 00:08:52,157
a number of sales already, uh,
388
00:08:52,192 --> 00:08:54,126
to different, uh, business--
389
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,060
oh, hang on one second.
390
00:08:55,094 --> 00:08:56,929
There's my other line.
391
00:08:56,963 --> 00:08:58,597
Yeah?
392
00:08:58,631 --> 00:08:59,731
Dave-Dave, give me
393
00:08:59,766 --> 00:09:01,133
the name of a local
394
00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:02,267
family run store.
395
00:09:02,302 --> 00:09:04,736
Uh, Sainsbury's.
396
00:09:04,771 --> 00:09:05,737
Okay, got it.
397
00:09:05,772 --> 00:09:07,406
Thanks, Dave.
398
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:08,340
Yeah, just made a sale
399
00:09:08,374 --> 00:09:10,509
at Sainsbury's.
400
00:09:10,543 --> 00:09:11,243
Dave, would you mind
401
00:09:11,277 --> 00:09:12,411
calling the salesman
402
00:09:12,445 --> 00:09:14,046
hall of fame and tell them
403
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:16,448
to score one for the big guy?
404
00:09:16,482 --> 00:09:16,949
What did you somehow
405
00:09:16,983 --> 00:09:18,016
manage to do?
406
00:09:18,051 --> 00:09:18,784
I just told Wilts
407
00:09:18,818 --> 00:09:20,285
about the big sale.
408
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:20,953
What big sale?
409
00:09:20,987 --> 00:09:21,820
The big sale
410
00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:22,888
we're about to make.
411
00:09:22,922 --> 00:09:24,323
How's that?
412
00:09:24,357 --> 00:09:24,856
Here's what I want you
413
00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:25,524
to do.
414
00:09:25,558 --> 00:09:26,058
I want you to go to this
415
00:09:26,092 --> 00:09:27,125
Sainsbury guy, all right?
416
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,227
Take him a case
417
00:09:28,261 --> 00:09:28,860
of "Thunder Muscle."
418
00:09:28,895 --> 00:09:30,095
Wa-wait-- me?
419
00:09:30,129 --> 00:09:31,263
Yeah, you.
420
00:09:31,297 --> 00:09:32,564
Give it to him free.
421
00:09:32,599 --> 00:09:33,165
"Hey, we like
422
00:09:33,199 --> 00:09:34,066
"your little store.
423
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:34,967
"We wish you luck with it."
424
00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:36,034
Wh-why am I doing this?
425
00:09:36,069 --> 00:09:36,969
Because I have a date,
426
00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:38,003
remember?
427
00:09:38,037 --> 00:09:38,737
Then, you take
428
00:09:38,771 --> 00:09:39,671
a couple snaps, all right?
429
00:09:39,706 --> 00:09:40,539
E-mail 'em to Wilts.
430
00:09:40,573 --> 00:09:41,440
Get him off my back.
431
00:09:41,474 --> 00:09:42,207
Tell him we'll stock his
432
00:09:42,242 --> 00:09:44,142
whole store half price next.
433
00:09:44,177 --> 00:09:44,776
Doesn't really sound
434
00:09:44,811 --> 00:09:46,378
like a very good plan.
435
00:09:46,412 --> 00:09:47,913
That's your second
436
00:09:47,947 --> 00:09:49,681
verbal warning.
437
00:09:49,716 --> 00:09:52,251
There it is, right there.
438
00:09:52,285 --> 00:09:52,985
I didn't get to be a top ace
439
00:09:53,019 --> 00:09:54,052
salesman by not knowing
440
00:09:54,087 --> 00:09:58,390
how to plan plans.
441
00:09:58,424 --> 00:09:59,157
Sorry, boss.
442
00:09:59,192 --> 00:09:59,992
Okay.
443
00:10:00,026 --> 00:10:01,627
Apology accepted.
444
00:10:01,661 --> 00:10:02,361
All right.
445
00:10:02,395 --> 00:10:03,862
Well, I'm gonna go back
446
00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:04,796
to my apartment,
447
00:10:04,831 --> 00:10:05,631
change my clothes,
448
00:10:05,665 --> 00:10:06,832
get ready for my date.
449
00:10:06,866 --> 00:10:07,466
I smell like piss.
450
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,367
Hmm.
451
00:10:08,401 --> 00:10:09,001
Your clothes
452
00:10:09,035 --> 00:10:10,602
were blown up, remember?
453
00:10:10,637 --> 00:10:12,204
Right.
454
00:10:12,238 --> 00:10:12,904
Hey, you need some
455
00:10:12,939 --> 00:10:13,872
nice clothes for tonight.
456
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:14,573
I mean, you can hardly
457
00:10:14,607 --> 00:10:16,174
go down there in urine-soaked,
458
00:10:16,209 --> 00:10:17,576
shit-stained--
459
00:10:17,610 --> 00:10:18,777
no, I didn't shit myself.
460
00:10:18,811 --> 00:10:19,745
Didn't ya?
461
00:10:19,779 --> 00:10:21,613
No, I didn't.
462
00:10:21,648 --> 00:10:22,347
Oh, that's interesting
463
00:10:22,382 --> 00:10:23,015
'cause you-you smell
464
00:10:23,049 --> 00:10:23,882
like piss and shit.
465
00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:24,750
I didn't!
466
00:10:24,784 --> 00:10:26,084
All right-- I believe ya.
467
00:10:26,119 --> 00:10:26,952
Anyway, you need some
468
00:10:26,986 --> 00:10:27,986
nice clothes for tonight,
469
00:10:28,021 --> 00:10:28,887
and if I were you, I'd go to--
470
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:33,392
I'm... I'm sorry.
471
00:10:33,426 --> 00:10:34,893
No disrespect but, Dave,
472
00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:36,962
you're clearly not me.
473
00:10:36,996 --> 00:10:38,563
You know,
474
00:10:38,598 --> 00:10:39,464
I want to impress her.
475
00:10:39,499 --> 00:10:40,699
Know what I mean?
476
00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:42,067
Oh, I get it 'cause,
477
00:10:42,101 --> 00:10:43,535
you know, I dress like a loser,
478
00:10:43,569 --> 00:10:44,603
and you wanna look like--
479
00:10:44,637 --> 00:10:46,338
a gentleman.
480
00:10:46,372 --> 00:10:47,172
Like a proper
481
00:10:47,206 --> 00:10:48,040
English gentleman.
482
00:10:48,074 --> 00:10:48,807
Bingo.
483
00:10:48,841 --> 00:10:50,509
Not a typical American twat.
484
00:10:50,543 --> 00:10:51,643
Exactly.
485
00:10:51,678 --> 00:10:52,477
Well, here's
486
00:10:52,512 --> 00:10:53,211
what you're gonna do.
487
00:10:53,246 --> 00:10:54,046
This is the name
488
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:55,981
of a very well-respected
489
00:10:56,015 --> 00:10:57,983
gentleman's outfitters.
490
00:10:58,017 --> 00:10:59,518
They should have you looking
491
00:10:59,552 --> 00:11:01,153
like a proper English gent
492
00:11:01,187 --> 00:11:03,789
in no time.
493
00:11:03,823 --> 00:11:05,090
All right.
494
00:11:05,124 --> 00:11:06,491
Okay, great.
495
00:11:06,526 --> 00:11:07,759
Thanks for that, Dave.
496
00:11:07,794 --> 00:11:08,794
No worries, mate.
497
00:11:08,828 --> 00:11:09,494
I will head there
498
00:11:09,529 --> 00:11:10,629
straightaway and then
499
00:11:10,663 --> 00:11:13,498
get ready for my big date.
500
00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:16,968
Oh, you never know.
501
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:35,587
How ya doin'?
502
00:11:35,621 --> 00:11:35,987
Probably shouldn't
503
00:11:36,022 --> 00:11:37,589
be doin' this.
504
00:11:37,623 --> 00:11:38,323
I got a girl back,
505
00:11:38,358 --> 00:11:39,991
uh, back home,
506
00:11:40,026 --> 00:11:42,361
but that's 9,000 miles away.
507
00:11:42,395 --> 00:11:44,796
She'll never know, right?
508
00:11:44,831 --> 00:11:45,697
It'll break her heart,
509
00:11:45,732 --> 00:11:47,265
though, if she found out.
510
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:48,433
Oh, it's been months.
511
00:11:48,468 --> 00:11:50,435
I have to get laid.
512
00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:51,203
Well, I thought you said
513
00:11:51,237 --> 00:11:52,037
you slept with that guy,
514
00:11:52,071 --> 00:11:55,073
Ted or Todd, the crying guy.
515
00:11:55,108 --> 00:11:56,108
Oh.
516
00:11:56,142 --> 00:11:57,309
I totally forgot about him.
517
00:11:57,343 --> 00:11:58,677
You know what?
518
00:11:58,711 --> 00:11:59,711
I was totally wasted
519
00:11:59,746 --> 00:12:01,213
on cough syrup and fell asleep.
520
00:12:01,247 --> 00:12:02,647
I don't think that counts.
521
00:12:02,682 --> 00:12:03,548
Well, here.
522
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:04,683
Yeah.
523
00:12:04,717 --> 00:12:06,952
Here ya go.
524
00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:07,586
Thank you.
525
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:08,186
Oh, uh, naue
526
00:12:08,221 --> 00:12:09,221
is Todd Margaret.
527
00:12:09,255 --> 00:12:10,589
I'm here from America, and
528
00:12:10,623 --> 00:12:12,090
I am selling Thunder Muscle.
529
00:12:12,125 --> 00:12:12,991
So, why don't you t-take
530
00:12:13,025 --> 00:12:13,959
a free sample?
531
00:12:13,993 --> 00:12:16,528
[ Speaking foreign language ]
532
00:12:21,167 --> 00:12:22,367
I have heard of this.
533
00:12:22,402 --> 00:12:23,802
Is this yours?
534
00:12:23,836 --> 00:12:25,437
Uh, it's yours now.
535
00:12:25,471 --> 00:12:28,006
Please, my-my gift to you.
536
00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,143
Uh, how late are you guys
537
00:12:31,177 --> 00:12:32,411
open 'til tonight?
538
00:12:32,445 --> 00:12:33,145
'Cause I may have
539
00:12:33,179 --> 00:12:34,079
to come back later,
540
00:12:34,113 --> 00:12:35,947
'cause, uh, I may run out,
541
00:12:35,982 --> 00:12:36,515
'cause there's only
542
00:12:36,549 --> 00:12:37,616
three in here.
543
00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:39,251
So, I may, uh, end up going
544
00:12:39,285 --> 00:12:40,252
through all these tonight.
545
00:12:40,286 --> 00:12:41,353
I mean, what are they
546
00:12:41,387 --> 00:12:42,120
thinking?
547
00:12:42,155 --> 00:12:43,188
For regular guys, you know,
548
00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:45,090
you need at least six.
549
00:12:45,124 --> 00:12:46,892
Um, listen, ma'am.
550
00:12:46,926 --> 00:12:48,727
If you are, uh, uh,
551
00:12:48,761 --> 00:12:51,296
interested, um, let me
552
00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:52,497
give you my business card.
553
00:12:52,532 --> 00:12:53,365
It's got all
554
00:12:53,399 --> 00:12:54,866
my information on it.
555
00:12:54,901 --> 00:12:56,334
And if you're interested
556
00:12:56,369 --> 00:12:59,037
in the drinks or, you know,
557
00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:01,072
just maybe you and I going out
558
00:13:01,107 --> 00:13:03,408
for a drink, uh, sometime,
559
00:13:03,443 --> 00:13:05,744
um, hear are my deets.
560
00:13:05,778 --> 00:13:07,779
Uh, Todd.
561
00:13:07,814 --> 00:13:09,414
Mehtap.
562
00:13:09,449 --> 00:13:12,851
Mehtap, a beautiful name
563
00:13:12,885 --> 00:13:17,322
for a beautiful hairdo on you
564
00:13:52,592 --> 00:13:54,359
Alice!
565
00:13:54,393 --> 00:13:55,293
Hello.
566
00:13:55,328 --> 00:13:57,562
Hey.
567
00:13:57,597 --> 00:13:58,029
Why are you dressed
568
00:13:58,064 --> 00:13:59,431
like that?
569
00:13:59,465 --> 00:13:59,865
I wanted to look
570
00:13:59,899 --> 00:14:00,966
nice for you.
571
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,000
Dave suggested where to go.
572
00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:04,870
Where is that, 1872?
573
00:14:04,904 --> 00:14:05,370
I don't know the name
574
00:14:05,404 --> 00:14:06,505
of the store.
575
00:14:06,539 --> 00:14:07,973
Can I have my check?
576
00:14:08,007 --> 00:14:08,773
Well, yeah, but don't you
577
00:14:08,808 --> 00:14:09,708
want your free meal, first?
578
00:14:09,742 --> 00:14:10,542
Meal?
579
00:14:10,576 --> 00:14:11,710
Oh.
580
00:14:11,744 --> 00:14:12,344
Oh, I-I thought we'd have
581
00:14:12,378 --> 00:14:13,378
a quick drink and-and then
582
00:14:13,412 --> 00:14:14,779
you'd give me my check
583
00:14:14,814 --> 00:14:16,615
for the damages.
584
00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:17,315
That's why I said, "meet me
585
00:14:17,350 --> 00:14:18,517
"at the pub for dinner."
586
00:14:18,551 --> 00:14:19,451
Oh.
587
00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:20,051
Well, I'm not really
588
00:14:20,086 --> 00:14:21,419
that hungry.
589
00:14:21,454 --> 00:14:22,387
I made a reservation
590
00:14:22,421 --> 00:14:23,488
and everything.
591
00:14:23,523 --> 00:14:24,456
Oh.
592
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:27,959
So?
593
00:14:32,865 --> 00:14:35,200
Oh, okay.
594
00:14:35,234 --> 00:14:36,034
We can eat quick.
595
00:14:36,068 --> 00:14:37,402
Good-- yeah.
596
00:14:37,436 --> 00:14:39,704
It'll be good.
597
00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:43,742
Hi.
598
00:14:43,776 --> 00:14:44,543
Name is Margaret,
599
00:14:44,577 --> 00:14:45,677
table for two.
600
00:14:45,711 --> 00:14:46,711
Margaret?
601
00:14:46,746 --> 00:14:47,913
That's a girl's name.
602
00:14:47,947 --> 00:14:48,780
I booked a table for two,
603
00:14:48,814 --> 00:14:49,915
6 o'clock.
604
00:14:49,949 --> 00:14:51,049
You what?
605
00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:52,217
I had my people call
606
00:14:52,251 --> 00:14:53,652
and book a table for two.
607
00:14:53,686 --> 00:14:54,486
What you on about?
608
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:55,086
You don't need to book--
609
00:14:55,121 --> 00:14:56,821
Alice-Alice, I've got this.
610
00:14:56,856 --> 00:14:58,823
I booked a table,
611
00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:01,560
I.E. made a reservation
612
00:15:01,594 --> 00:15:05,730
on the telephone for 6 o'clock.
613
00:15:05,765 --> 00:15:06,898
Did you, now?
614
00:15:06,933 --> 00:15:07,732
Yes.
615
00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:09,000
How classy of you.
616
00:15:09,035 --> 00:15:09,834
Let me just show you
617
00:15:09,869 --> 00:15:11,036
to your table.
618
00:15:11,070 --> 00:15:11,903
Thank you.
619
00:15:11,938 --> 00:15:17,309
One of those.
620
00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:22,380
Can I have a manager
621
00:15:22,415 --> 00:15:23,148
to check out number five,
622
00:15:23,182 --> 00:15:24,149
please?
623
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,116
I'm getting a message to notify
624
00:15:25,151 --> 00:15:26,184
all local and national
625
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:28,019
emergency services.
626
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:30,288
Sir, where did you get this?
627
00:15:30,323 --> 00:15:32,557
Just down there.
628
00:15:32,592 --> 00:15:33,191
The good thing is
629
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:33,825
it was all stuff
630
00:15:33,859 --> 00:15:34,459
I was gonna replace, anyway.
631
00:15:34,493 --> 00:15:35,493
Really?
632
00:15:35,528 --> 00:15:36,294
Yeah, yeah.
633
00:15:36,329 --> 00:15:37,095
I'd like to turn my cafe
634
00:15:37,129 --> 00:15:38,263
into a molecular
635
00:15:38,297 --> 00:15:40,131
gastronomy restaurant.
636
00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:42,033
I love molecular gastronomy.
637
00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:42,767
I'm just having a bit
638
00:15:42,802 --> 00:15:43,468
of difficulty getting
639
00:15:43,502 --> 00:15:44,135
my landlord to give me
640
00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:45,370
a booze license.
641
00:15:45,404 --> 00:15:46,071
That's all you need?
642
00:15:46,105 --> 00:15:46,871
A liquor license?
643
00:15:46,906 --> 00:15:47,606
I think part
644
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,106
of the problem is
645
00:15:48,140 --> 00:15:48,573
it's a small business.
646
00:15:48,608 --> 00:15:49,541
Done.
647
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:50,141
But if I was a big business
648
00:15:50,176 --> 00:15:53,278
then, you know, it's-- Hmm?
649
00:15:53,312 --> 00:15:54,679
Done.
650
00:15:54,714 --> 00:15:56,314
I'll call America-- set it up.
651
00:15:56,349 --> 00:15:57,649
Really?
652
00:15:57,683 --> 00:15:58,917
How would you do that?
653
00:15:58,951 --> 00:16:00,852
Alice, l right.
654
00:16:00,886 --> 00:16:02,187
I'm sorry.
655
00:16:02,221 --> 00:16:03,121
I don't mean to sound
656
00:16:03,155 --> 00:16:04,422
condescending, but I work for
657
00:16:04,457 --> 00:16:07,292
a huge international company.
658
00:16:07,326 --> 00:16:08,026
I think procuring
659
00:16:08,060 --> 00:16:08,994
a liquor license
660
00:16:09,028 --> 00:16:09,995
for a little cafe in England
661
00:16:10,029 --> 00:16:11,329
probably the least
662
00:16:11,364 --> 00:16:13,064
of my difficulties.
663
00:16:13,099 --> 00:16:13,999
Sorry.
664
00:16:14,033 --> 00:16:15,467
[ Phone rings ]
665
00:16:15,501 --> 00:16:16,234
Oh.
666
00:16:16,268 --> 00:16:17,068
Oh, that's work.
667
00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:17,535
I gotta get this.
668
00:16:17,570 --> 00:16:18,136
Sure.
669
00:16:18,170 --> 00:16:19,170
Sorry.
670
00:16:19,205 --> 00:16:19,938
It's my director of strategy.
671
00:16:19,972 --> 00:16:20,772
What's up, big dog?
672
00:16:20,806 --> 00:16:22,007
Yeah.
673
00:16:22,041 --> 00:16:23,341
Um, I sent those pictures
674
00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:24,576
over to Wilts like you asked,
675
00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:25,276
but it didn't go down
676
00:16:25,311 --> 00:16:26,011
too well with Sainsbury's.
677
00:16:26,045 --> 00:16:27,646
Why-- what happened?
678
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:28,480
They had some kind
679
00:16:28,514 --> 00:16:29,147
of problem with me leaving
680
00:16:29,181 --> 00:16:30,115
a toxic drink there.
681
00:16:30,149 --> 00:16:31,549
Toxic?
682
00:16:31,584 --> 00:16:32,651
Hey, that's slander.
683
00:16:32,685 --> 00:16:34,552
You know, we, uh, uh, no.
684
00:16:34,587 --> 00:16:35,620
Screw that guy.
685
00:16:35,655 --> 00:16:36,254
You go back there
686
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:37,055
and tell him,
687
00:16:37,089 --> 00:16:38,289
"hey, you wanna go deep
688
00:16:38,324 --> 00:16:39,591
"sea diving with the big boys?
689
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:40,792
"You best be prepared to run
690
00:16:40,826 --> 00:16:41,926
"into a giant squid
691
00:16:41,961 --> 00:16:42,761
"every now and then."
692
00:16:42,795 --> 00:16:43,828
What?
693
00:16:43,863 --> 00:16:45,397
I'm the giant squid.
694
00:16:45,431 --> 00:16:46,097
All right.
695
00:16:46,132 --> 00:16:46,698
So, what should I do?
696
00:16:46,732 --> 00:16:47,198
Well, tell 'em
697
00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:48,133
to get a lawyer.
698
00:16:48,167 --> 00:16:48,733
Tell 'em to hire ten lawyers.
699
00:16:48,768 --> 00:16:50,468
I don't give a shit.
700
00:16:50,503 --> 00:16:51,036
Tell 'em I'm gonna have 'em
701
00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:51,770
sellin' bananas
702
00:16:51,804 --> 00:16:52,871
at a banana place,
703
00:16:52,905 --> 00:16:54,406
but in Poland probably.
704
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,173
What the hell
705
00:16:55,207 --> 00:16:55,907
are you talking about?
706
00:16:55,941 --> 00:16:56,541
I'll see him in court.
707
00:16:56,575 --> 00:16:59,878
Oh, Alice, I am so sorry
708
00:16:59,912 --> 00:17:00,512
that you had to hear that.
709
00:17:00,546 --> 00:17:01,713
It's fine.
710
00:17:01,747 --> 00:17:02,814
But that
711
00:17:02,848 --> 00:17:05,016
is the downside business.
712
00:17:05,051 --> 00:17:06,718
It's a brutal world.
713
00:17:06,752 --> 00:17:08,053
And, you know, I got a theory.
714
00:17:08,087 --> 00:17:09,454
You wanna run with
715
00:17:09,488 --> 00:17:10,955
the bulls in Pamplona?
716
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:11,890
Who doesn't, right?
717
00:17:11,924 --> 00:17:12,757
But you better be prepared
718
00:17:12,792 --> 00:17:14,192
to literally get gored
719
00:17:14,226 --> 00:17:17,062
up the ass by a figurative horn,
720
00:17:17,096 --> 00:17:20,432
but from a literal bull, right?
721
00:17:20,466 --> 00:17:21,466
Yeah.
722
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,067
Either way, it's gonna hurt
723
00:17:22,101 --> 00:17:23,368
is my point.
724
00:17:23,402 --> 00:17:25,070
I'm Todd Margaret.
725
00:17:25,104 --> 00:17:26,504
I don't scare easily.
726
00:17:26,539 --> 00:17:28,740
Hmm.
727
00:17:31,444 --> 00:17:32,544
Um, hey, uh, uh, uh,
728
00:17:32,578 --> 00:17:33,912
what do you-- let's get
729
00:17:33,946 --> 00:17:34,646
out of here.
730
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:35,480
What do you say?
731
00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:36,047
I'm not finished.
732
00:17:36,082 --> 00:17:36,981
I mean, neither are you.
733
00:17:37,016 --> 00:17:37,716
Aren't you trying
734
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:38,216
to watch your figure?
735
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:38,983
What?
736
00:17:39,018 --> 00:17:39,851
Come on, woman.
737
00:17:39,885 --> 00:17:40,552
You know, it's-it's,
738
00:17:40,586 --> 00:17:41,286
uh, it's the nuts.
739
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,220
I'm allergic to nuts,
740
00:17:42,254 --> 00:17:42,821
right over there, and I can't
741
00:17:42,855 --> 00:17:43,521
even be around them.
742
00:17:43,556 --> 00:17:44,255
You eat a nut,
743
00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:45,557
I'll have a reaction.
744
00:17:45,591 --> 00:17:46,458
I need you to shield me
745
00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:47,559
from the nuts.
746
00:17:47,593 --> 00:17:48,226
Okay.
747
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,061
Come on-- really bad.
748
00:17:50,096 --> 00:17:51,196
Sorry.
749
00:17:51,230 --> 00:17:51,963
That's-that's a bad allergy.
750
00:17:51,997 --> 00:17:52,664
It's like mushroom soup
751
00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:54,666
coming through my eyeballs.
752
00:18:01,107 --> 00:18:01,873
You know, when we first
753
00:18:01,907 --> 00:18:03,341
got the pub, I thought,
754
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:04,876
you know, this is hideous.
755
00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:05,844
I'm just gonna have a quick
756
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:06,845
drink out of politeness
757
00:18:06,879 --> 00:18:07,912
and then make some excuse
758
00:18:07,947 --> 00:18:09,214
about feeding my bees
759
00:18:09,248 --> 00:18:10,782
or something.
760
00:18:10,816 --> 00:18:12,016
But, you know,
761
00:18:12,051 --> 00:18:13,084
it just turned out
762
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:14,085
to be quite good fun.
763
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:14,986
Yeah.
764
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:15,687
I-I had a great time.
765
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:18,022
Good.
766
00:18:18,057 --> 00:18:19,624
Do you wanna come up?
767
00:18:19,658 --> 00:18:20,892
Um...
768
00:18:20,926 --> 00:18:21,860
Use the toilet?
769
00:18:21,894 --> 00:18:22,927
Oh.
770
00:18:22,962 --> 00:18:24,929
To urinate in or worse?
771
00:18:24,964 --> 00:18:25,663
That was a big ol'
772
00:18:25,698 --> 00:18:27,599
Shepherd's pie you ate.
773
00:18:27,633 --> 00:18:28,466
Yeah.
774
00:18:28,501 --> 00:18:30,068
I could, uh, use the toilet
775
00:18:30,102 --> 00:18:30,902
but, you know,
776
00:18:30,936 --> 00:18:32,570
for the-for the former,
777
00:18:32,605 --> 00:18:33,304
not-- I don't need to--
778
00:18:33,339 --> 00:18:34,105
I'm fine.
779
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:38,877
Okay-- yeah.
780
00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:41,813
Should be flushed already.
781
00:18:41,847 --> 00:18:43,515
What's all this?
782
00:18:43,549 --> 00:18:44,449
This isn't for me, is it?
783
00:18:44,483 --> 00:18:45,483
You didn't think--
784
00:18:45,518 --> 00:18:50,288
I thought-- oh, no.
785
00:18:50,322 --> 00:18:51,122
Oh, for you?
786
00:18:51,157 --> 00:18:51,623
Nah.
787
00:18:51,657 --> 00:18:52,524
No.
788
00:18:52,558 --> 00:18:52,991
This isn't for you.
789
00:18:53,025 --> 00:18:54,058
What?
790
00:18:54,093 --> 00:18:54,692
You thought this was for you?
791
00:18:54,727 --> 00:18:56,795
Don't be silly.
792
00:18:56,829 --> 00:18:57,662
God, no.
793
00:18:57,696 --> 00:18:58,797
Whew!
794
00:18:58,831 --> 00:18:59,664
No, no, no.
795
00:18:59,698 --> 00:19:00,298
I didn't even think
796
00:19:00,332 --> 00:19:01,065
you'd come back here.
797
00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:01,933
You know, not that you
798
00:19:01,967 --> 00:19:02,700
wouldn't, but I'm saying
799
00:19:02,735 --> 00:19:04,068
this would imply that I had
800
00:19:04,103 --> 00:19:04,602
thought about it,
801
00:19:04,637 --> 00:19:05,470
which I didn't at all.
802
00:19:05,504 --> 00:19:06,538
This is actually for,
803
00:19:06,572 --> 00:19:08,006
you know, this is--
804
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,140
it's one of those things--
805
00:19:09,175 --> 00:19:10,175
it's for the girl with cancer.
806
00:19:10,209 --> 00:19:10,642
I thought you said
807
00:19:10,676 --> 00:19:11,409
she was dead.
808
00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:12,477
Tired.
809
00:19:12,511 --> 00:19:14,112
Dead tired is what I said.
810
00:19:14,146 --> 00:19:16,481
Oh.
811
00:19:16,515 --> 00:19:17,348
Oh, well, that's sweet
812
00:19:17,383 --> 00:19:18,550
that you got her
813
00:19:18,584 --> 00:19:19,717
a little-a little Teddy.
814
00:19:19,752 --> 00:19:20,919
Yeah-yeah-yeah.
815
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:21,920
And some flowers and a--
816
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:22,887
well, you don't have-- okay.
817
00:19:22,922 --> 00:19:24,255
Why-why would you buy
818
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:25,590
a little girl with cancer
819
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:27,792
a box of condoms?
820
00:19:27,827 --> 00:19:29,427
She's not that little.
821
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:30,662
Uh, I mean,
822
00:19:30,696 --> 00:19:32,096
she's already sexually active,
823
00:19:32,131 --> 00:19:33,364
a bit of a whore, really.
824
00:19:33,399 --> 00:19:33,798
I mean, that's how
825
00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:35,366
she got cancer.
826
00:19:35,401 --> 00:19:37,669
And they're chocolate covered-
827
00:19:37,703 --> 00:19:38,736
they're chocolate covered,
828
00:19:38,771 --> 00:19:42,540
uh, con-- kids-- to teach kids
829
00:19:42,575 --> 00:19:46,311
how to eat con--
830
00:19:46,345 --> 00:19:47,712
well, I-I'm-I'm just
831
00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:49,380
gonna-I'm just gonna quickly
832
00:19:49,415 --> 00:19:52,250
use the loo and, uh, um,
833
00:19:52,284 --> 00:19:54,285
perhaps someplace else.
834
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,921
Um, I've gotta go because,
835
00:19:56,956 --> 00:19:58,089
um, I've gotta get up early
836
00:19:58,123 --> 00:19:59,224
and feed my bees.
837
00:19:59,258 --> 00:20:00,124
Oh, yeah.
838
00:20:00,159 --> 00:20:00,892
You make your own honey.
839
00:20:00,926 --> 00:20:02,327
Yeah.
840
00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:04,095
All right.
841
00:20:04,129 --> 00:20:05,697
Well, I had a great time and,
842
00:20:05,731 --> 00:20:10,401
uh, uh, I guess, uh, oh, boy.
843
00:20:10,436 --> 00:20:12,437
Well, I guess it's official.
844
00:20:12,471 --> 00:20:15,840
This is the awkward part
845
00:20:15,875 --> 00:20:17,008
of the evening.
846
00:20:17,042 --> 00:20:18,276
Not really.
847
00:20:18,310 --> 00:20:19,143
I'll see you tomorrow.
848
00:20:19,178 --> 00:20:21,246
Okay.
849
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:22,313
Uh, can I walk you to a cab?
850
00:20:22,348 --> 00:20:23,748
No, I'm fine.
851
00:20:23,782 --> 00:20:26,751
Or just maybe out-- yeah.
852
00:20:26,785 --> 00:20:27,785
Oy!
853
00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:28,586
Mr. la-tee-da, is that you?
854
00:20:28,621 --> 00:20:29,721
Hey, Pam.
855
00:20:29,755 --> 00:20:30,488
I've got an emergency.
856
00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:31,589
Why, what?
857
00:20:31,624 --> 00:20:33,324
I need 20 Benson
858
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,093
and a liter of white lightning.
859
00:20:35,127 --> 00:20:35,860
I can't send the kids 'cause
860
00:20:35,895 --> 00:20:36,895
they're still out at work.
861
00:20:36,929 --> 00:20:37,795
That's medicine?
862
00:20:37,830 --> 00:20:38,863
Yeah.
863
00:20:38,898 --> 00:20:40,365
Oh, ooh.
864
00:20:40,399 --> 00:20:41,065
Where-where do I go?
865
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:41,766
Just go to Sainsbury's
866
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,301
just around the corner.
867
00:20:43,335 --> 00:20:43,968
He'll be open this late?
868
00:20:44,003 --> 00:20:45,336
Yes.
869
00:20:45,371 --> 00:20:46,170
You got money?
870
00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:48,006
No-- oh!
871
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:49,073
What?
872
00:20:49,108 --> 00:20:49,674
Bensons in the diamond pack
873
00:20:49,708 --> 00:20:50,608
or--
874
00:20:50,643 --> 00:20:51,676
20 Benson and a liter
875
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,645
of white lightning!
876
00:20:53,679 --> 00:20:54,846
Go on-- go.
877
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,282
Ah!
878
00:21:00,152 --> 00:21:01,519
Customer announcements.
879
00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:02,420
Sainsbury's will be closing
880
00:21:02,454 --> 00:21:04,255
in ten minutes.
881
00:21:04,290 --> 00:21:06,758
Thank you.
882
00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,330
Excuse me.
883
00:21:12,364 --> 00:21:14,098
Uh, this is Sainsbury's?
884
00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:15,400
Yeah.
885
00:21:15,434 --> 00:21:17,001
Is it a local grocery store?
886
00:21:17,036 --> 00:21:18,403
I suppose.
887
00:21:18,437 --> 00:21:19,404
Is this the only one?
888
00:21:19,438 --> 00:21:20,438
No.
889
00:21:20,472 --> 00:21:21,572
There's about 1,000 of 'em.
890
00:21:21,607 --> 00:21:22,173
Do you think they have
891
00:21:22,207 --> 00:21:24,242
a good legal department?
892
00:21:29,142 --> 00:21:32,142
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893
00:21:32,192 --> 00:21:36,742
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