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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:05,071 - �� ["Jingle Bell Rock"] - [ Charlie ] How's this? This look centered? 2 00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:07,800 [ Mac ] Uh, no, you gotta move it a little to the left. 3 00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:10,843 - �� [ Continues ] - All right, here we go. How's that? 4 00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:13,174 No, your other left. 5 00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:15,714 Uh, my other left? I only have one left. 6 00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:18,717 It's just an expression. Just move it to the other direction. 7 00:00:18,785 --> 00:00:21,811 What would that expression be for- for someone who has two lefts? 8 00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:26,587 - No- No. Just move it the other way. Move it the other way. - Towards your left. 9 00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,786 Your left and my left are the same 'cause we're facing the same direction. 10 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,660 We're two different people. We can't have the same left. It doesn't make sense. 11 00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:34,063 - Here we go again. - [Mac] Hey-yo! 12 00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:36,261 - �� [ Stops ] - Ow. Well, all right. 13 00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:38,964 Hey, go in the back. We got some more Christmas lights. We need some help. 14 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,904 - No, we're not helping you. - Come on. It's almost Christmas. 15 00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:43,636 Get into the spirit. Let's put some decorations up. 16 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,644 Whoa. What in the hell is that? 17 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,647 [Mac] Yeah. You like that? That's an industrial-sized snow blower... 18 00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,149 we got from some dude on the Internet from the Poconos. 19 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:54,550 You know how it never snows on Christmas. We got a backup plan this year. 20 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,816 We're gonna have a white Christmas out in front of the bar. 21 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,482 We're gonna make the snow ourselves. 22 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:00,924 If you guys love Christmas so much, why do you always wait... 23 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:03,554 until the last possible minute to put up the Christmas decorations? 24 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:06,190 - It is the day before Christmas. - That's our tradition. 25 00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:09,064 Yeah, that's what we do. We drink a lot of eggnog, we pass out. 26 00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:11,729 And then we don't put anything up, so we do it all last minute. 27 00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,865 Yeah. Then we wake up Christmas morning and throw rocks at trains. 28 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,533 Why would grown men throw rocks at trains? 29 00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,907 Why wouldn't we throw rocks at trains? 30 00:01:18,978 --> 00:01:21,071 It's awesome. It's what you do on Christmas morning. 31 00:01:21,147 --> 00:01:23,274 We've been doing it since we were kids. Look, whatever. 32 00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:25,840 I'm sorry that we love Christmas and we have awesome traditions and you guys hate Christmas. 33 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:29,116 They hate Christmas because I always got the best gifts... 34 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,851 - And Frank always gave them shitty presents. - Oh. 35 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,052 You think we don't like Christmas 'cause Frank got us shitty presents? 36 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:37,028 Is that really what you think? No, Frank didn't buy shitty presents. 37 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,395 Frank bought the most awesome presents in the entire world. 38 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:42,264 He would find out whatever Christmas presents we wanted that year... 39 00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:44,633 - and he would buy 'em for himself instead of buying 'em for us. - Yeah. 40 00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:47,537 - Really? - Yeah. 41 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:51,543 That must have been why he wanted me to walkie you guys when you got to the bar. 42 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,375 'Cause he was trying to do something about making your Christmas better. 43 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:59,578 Yo, uh, Frank, the eagles landed. They're here. So, uh, over and out. Go ahead. 44 00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:01,517 - [ Beeps ] - [ Frank] Tell 'em to go outside. 45 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:03,988 No. Frank, whatever Christmas presents you bought for yourself... 46 00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:06,525 you can bring 'em in the bar and ruin 'em in front of us in here. 47 00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,754 - [ Beeps ] - No can do. 48 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:11,820 It's too big. And, Dennis... 49 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:14,423 you're really gonna wanna see this. 50 00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:17,868 - It's your dream gift. - [ Beeps ] 51 00:02:17,937 --> 00:02:20,235 My dream gift? What does he- 52 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:24,003 Nah. No. Oh. 53 00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,170 Oh, God, no. 54 00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:34,078 [ Tires Screeching ] 55 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,779 [Frank Grunts ] 56 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,087 Goddamn it! 57 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,599 [ Sinister Laughter] Merry Christmas, bitches! 58 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 59 00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,398 [Frank] Deandra? 60 00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:22,058 Look at this. 61 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:26,970 A nice Sergio Giorgini bag. 62 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,632 - You wantee? - I don't want it. 63 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:32,474 Fake-out! It's mine. [ Laughs ] 64 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:36,982 And I use it to keep in my Cheesy Loops... 65 00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:41,077 and... chocolate-covered malted milk balls. 66 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,645 What is your problem, Frank? Why do you do this to us every year? 67 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,816 I do it to you every year, Deandra... 68 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,917 because you and your brother... 69 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:51,430 never learn the lesson that I try to impart at Christmastime. 70 00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:53,590 - Oh, my God. - And that is... 71 00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,691 you have to earn what you get. 72 00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:58,259 This principle made me a multimillionaire. 73 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:01,796 No. No, stealing millions of dollars from your ex-business partner... 74 00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,637 is what made you a millionaire, Frank. 75 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,508 Uh- Eugene Hamilton was a great man. 76 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,547 Do not speak ill of the dead. 77 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,607 - She's speaking ill of you! - Oh, whatever. 78 00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:15,882 I'm going to burn up the rubber with my Lamborghini. 79 00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,786 [ Imitating Engine Revving ] 80 00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:22,521 Oh, I got my nice Sergio Giorgini bag. 81 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,029 - Damn son of a bitch! - [ Grunting Loudly] 82 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,032 How could he do this? He's gone too far this year. 83 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,467 He's not even our dad anymore and he's still doing this. I can't take it anymore. 84 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:33,300 Who puts cheesy snacks and chocolate in a designer bag? 85 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,500 Oh, Dennis, he's gonna ruin the lining. 86 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:39,409 Well, I'm not even gonna begin to compare a $250,000 Italian sports car... 87 00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,470 to a handbag, but I get your point. 88 00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:45,574 This has got to stop. However, the good news is I think there's a big opportunity in this. 89 00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:50,715 - What kind of opportunity? - Frank seems to think his old business partner's dead. 90 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,451 - He's not dead? - Nope. 91 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:56,723 And that gives me a very interesting idea. 92 00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:04,593 So, you wanna talk to me about Frank Reynolds. 93 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:08,368 Yes, we do. See, Mr. Hamilton, we heard about how Frank dicked you all up and down... 94 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:11,274 - and we thought we'd give you a chance to get some payback. - Mm-hmm. 95 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:15,041 We thought you might wanna help us because, you see, Frank thinks you�re dead. 96 00:05:15,114 --> 00:05:18,709 Well, I have forgiven Frank. 97 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,776 - Uh, what? - Frank? 98 00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:25,085 You see, some years ago I had a near-death experience... 99 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,252 and I- I saw the light... 100 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,853 and I saw the truth... 101 00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:33,455 of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 102 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,865 - [ Teeth Click] - Oh. Uh-oh. 103 00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:40,599 So, I have forgiven everyone who ever did me any harm. 104 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:43,665 Okay, well, uh, that's cool, because you could probably still help us. 105 00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,938 Frank has not found the Lord yet. 106 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,276 No. Frank's gotten nowhere near the Lord. 107 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:52,045 - Yeah, and so, in the spirit of the Lord and Christmas- - And God. 108 00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:55,451 And, uh, all that, we wanna do a Christmas Carol type thing... 109 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,455 where we show him the error of his ways... 110 00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:59,388 through his past, his present and his future. 111 00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,690 See, Mr. Hamilton, we feel like if Frank can just understand... 112 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:04,889 what a dick he's been to people in his past... 113 00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:07,592 and how he's just gonna probably end up old and alone like yourself... 114 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:10,898 then maybe he'll be able to make up for some of his past mistakes. 115 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:14,269 When can I talk to Frank about his salvation? 116 00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:19,107 - At the end. You can do it at the very, very end. - The very end. 117 00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,112 - The very, very end. Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. 118 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:24,616 But in the meantime, we need you to be our ghost. 119 00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:30,820 [Charlie ]Just being in your childhood room is giving me the Christmas spirit, bro. 120 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:34,621 - Yeah, dude. It's awesome, huh? - It's pretty cool that your mom kept all your stuff. 121 00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:37,925 Yeah, dude. I think I got an Omnibot around here somewhere. 122 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,931 - You remember Omnibot? - Totally. Those were amazing. 123 00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:42,331 - [ Sniffs ] - Oh, my God. So cool. Oh, check this out, dude. 124 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,336 - Look at that. Karate trophy. - Why do you have a karate trophy? 125 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,998 - I found that in the street. - That makes sense. 126 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,303 - And, oh! Captain Caveman! - Oh! 127 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,639 Remember when we would shave the neighborhood dogs... 128 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,305 and glue the fur to our faces and pretend we were him? 129 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:57,508 Absolutely! And then we would bash away at him and we'd bash the dogs to pieces. 130 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,949 Yeah! Boom! 'Member that? 131 00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,317 - [ Gasps ] Simon? - Simon. 132 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:05,323 Dude, this game was my favorite. Do you remember how challenging this was? 133 00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:07,359 - Yeah. But, Charlie, don't get lost in that. - [Beeps ] 134 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:10,225 - I got the first one, bro. - [ Beeps Twice ] 135 00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:12,491 Uh-oh. Ew. 136 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,728 Ew! It just threw me a curveball here. Did you catch that? 137 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:18,703 - Uh, it went- [ Beeps Twice ] - I know, but I don't know what order. 138 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,205 - Which one was- [ Beeps ] - Which one lit up? 139 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,141 - The yellow and the blue both lit up. - Then press yellow and blue. 140 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,837 - I don't remember which order it happened. - [ Beeps Twice ] 141 00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:28,574 - Oh. Okay. - Yeah. 142 00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:31,640 - You got it. You got lucky, though. - [ Beeps Three Times ] 143 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:35,585 Okay, now three happened, and I have no idea which three. 144 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,852 Hey-yo! �� [Scatting] 145 00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,689 - Oh! � Omnibot, the freaking robot � - � Omnibot � 146 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,695 Dude, we're gonna put a Santa hat on him. 147 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:46,732 - He's gonna serve us drinks and break-dance. - That is awesome, dude! 148 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:50,530 - Yeah, it's awesome. - What was he holding? Is this his instructional video? 149 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,333 "Christmas day, 1 985." Oh, shit! 150 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,432 - This is a home movie my dad made of Christmas. - Really? 151 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:59,967 Oh, yeah. Every Christmas morning he would videotape me opening up my presents. 152 00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,378 - [Charlie ] Toss that shit in. - Yeah, man. 153 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:06,544 Look, Son, a video camera. Hmm? 154 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:09,952 [ Laughs ] Oh, this is something. 155 00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:12,582 Can I open mine now? 156 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:15,218 No, no, keep your voice down. Let your mother open hers first, okay? 157 00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,785 - Here we go. Here we go. - Mom. 158 00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,230 - Let's see. - Let's go, Mom. 159 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:23,791 - Let's not wait. - [ Gasps ] Hon, wow! 160 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:27,806 Cashmere! Beautiful! [ Laughs ] 161 00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,808 Mmm! 162 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:33,505 - That's gonna look good on you, baby. - Oh, yeah! 163 00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:36,104 - Now can I go? - Uh, not yet, Son. 164 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,548 - Let's see what Daddy got. Hmm? - Oh. 165 00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,984 [Wrapping Paper Rustles ] 166 00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:43,078 I think I know what it is. 167 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:45,089 Would you look at this? 168 00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:47,284 A brand-new stereo. 169 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,555 [Mother] Oh! Look at that! 170 00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:52,063 - That's gonna be perfect for the living room. - Yeah! 171 00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:55,726 - Goddamn it! Can I goddamn go? This is taking forever! - Okay. 172 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:58,895 Fine, fine, fine, fine. You go. You go. Yeah. 173 00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:03,135 - Okay. Let's see. - It's your turn. Let's see what you got. 174 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:08,340 - [ Screams ] A Cabbage Patch Doll! - Uh, shh- 175 00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:10,882 - Yeah- You don't- - [ Screams ] 176 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:14,386 - You don't have to keep yelling like that. - [Man ] Who's down there? 177 00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:17,251 - [ Woman ] Oh, my God! - [Dad] Time to go. Time to go. 178 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:20,622 Move it along. Yeah, Son, get your- There we go. Open the door. 179 00:09:20,693 --> 00:09:23,423 - [ Mac Screaming] - Get the stereo. Honey, get the stereo. 180 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,327 [ Mac Sighs ] 181 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:28,367 That was awesome. My dad looks really young, doesn't he? 182 00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:31,562 Dude, what was it- What was that? What happened right there? 183 00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:34,105 - Huh? - What was the family on the stairs? What was that? 184 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:37,472 That was probably the next family coming in to get their presents. 185 00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:41,070 What-What are you talking about? What was happening there? 186 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,308 That was the Christmas tradition- 187 00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:45,316 where you go from house to house collecting your presents. 188 00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:47,944 And then when the next family comes, you would run. 189 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,181 I'm not aware of this tradition, Mac. 190 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,350 In fact, I think that you were just stealing from that home. 191 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:57,795 Oh, no. I was taking their presents, but they were taking mine. 192 00:09:57,863 --> 00:10:00,661 Yeah, dude. That's why there were never any presents at my house when I got back. 193 00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:03,725 The neighbors took them. It's a South Philly tradition, Charlie. 194 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:07,364 No. Mm-mmm. People don't do that, dude. That doesn't make any sense. 195 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,671 You're telling me Christmas you would not go to your neighbor's house and take their presents? 196 00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:12,506 No! No one does that! 197 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:15,706 Well, my dad told me that that was the tradition. 198 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:18,477 And your dad is like a thief and a murderer who eats people... 199 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,485 so he's not really trustworthy. 200 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:24,011 - This is really dicking with my Christmas spirit. - Okay, whoa, bro. 201 00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,024 I got a plan. Let's go to my house, you know. 202 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,686 You'll see how my mom does it. We'll get you right back in the Christmas mood. 203 00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:30,524 - All right? - Okay, all right. Okay. 204 00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:40,029 You think-You think these chains are really necessary? 205 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:42,040 Yeah, they're necessary! It's part of the whole thing. 206 00:10:42,108 --> 00:10:45,373 It's part of the look. This is how it's gonna work. I'm gonna pump this smoke under the door. 207 00:10:45,444 --> 00:10:47,674 And then you blast in there and give Frank a good scare. 208 00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,807 He's really gonna believe you�re a ghost, so he's gonna listen to anything you say. 209 00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:53,351 Definitely. You sit him down, you make him watch the videotape. 210 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:55,819 And that's what's gonna prove how horrible he's been to us all these years. 211 00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:59,221 When you're doing the ghost thing, you really gotta sell it. [ Moaning ] 212 00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,350 - You know what I mean? - Make it sound real, like a ghost would. 213 00:11:01,427 --> 00:11:03,395 - Yeah, do it up. Do it up. - Okay. 214 00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:07,831 - [Smoke Hissing] - [Eugene Moaning] Frank! 215 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,697 Frank! 216 00:11:09,769 --> 00:11:12,602 - [ Snoring ] - Frank! 217 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,799 Put some vibrato into it. 218 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:18,605 - Fra-a-a-nk! - [TV Continues ] 219 00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:22,114 - Fire! Fire! Fire! We're gonna die! - Frank! 220 00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:25,912 We're all gonna die! We're gonna suffocate! I gotta get out of here! 221 00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:29,113 - Frank! - Get out! We're gonna die! 222 00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:32,248 Calm down, Frank. Calm down. There's no fire. 223 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:34,554 - Eugene? - Yes. 224 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:38,290 - A ghost! Ghost! - No. No, no, no. 225 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:40,491 - Ghost, ghost, get out! - No! 226 00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:43,126 [Dee ] No, Frank! Stop! Stop. 227 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:46,228 - Deandra! Deandra! - Frank, you're supposed to listen to the ghost. 228 00:11:46,305 --> 00:11:50,935 - No, he's dead! - Calm down. Go sit on the couch and keep your mouth shut. 229 00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:54,468 Just sit and listen. Thank you. 230 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,983 Now, yes, you're right. Your old business partner is not dead. 231 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,918 But, Mr. Hamilton, do you have something you would like to say to Frank? 232 00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:05,514 I do. Are you familiar with the forgiving nature... 233 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:08,822 - of our lord and savior Jesus Christ? - Ooh, ooh, no. Eugene. 234 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,192 At the end. Okay? "For the love of God" at the end. 235 00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:13,857 - Okay? This is the beginning. - But if you�re gonna bring God into it... 236 00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:16,868 can you do like the Old Testament and the covenant... 237 00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:19,097 and keeping your eyes closed or your face will melt... 238 00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,696 - and the coins and the fear and the Indiana Jones- - No. 239 00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:24,766 You know what? Just sit on the couch. We'll take it from here. Okay? 240 00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,369 - Thank you. - Good job, buddy. Good job. Okay. Um- 241 00:12:27,446 --> 00:12:29,676 - Bust out the video. Let's do the video. - The tape now, right? 242 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:33,651 - What the hell is this? - Welcome to your Christmas past, Frank. 243 00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:37,052 Is this gonna take long, because it's cutting into my Countach time? 244 00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:40,149 I was gonna go out and make some modifications to the car. 245 00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,989 - Modifications on the- - Yeah. 246 00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:45,360 No, no, no, no, no. You do not make modifications on a Countach. That car is perfect. 247 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,365 Yeah, but I can't reach the door when it goes up. 248 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,197 I was gonna put a wire rig and then drop the bag. 249 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:53,727 - You are gonna ruin that car, Frank! You're gonna ruin it! - Okay. Okay. 250 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:56,468 We're gonna take you on a journey, like the Christmas Carol... 251 00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:59,636 and you're gonna be a better person and your life will be enriched and fulfilled- 252 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,180 - And just watch the TV. - Hmm. 253 00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:05,376 [Frank On Tape ] Okay, Dennis, Deandra, come and get your presents. 254 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:09,148 - Yes! Yes, presents! - Presents! Presents! 255 00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:11,712 - Christmas, 1 986. - Mm-hmm. 256 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,589 This is where you destroyed Christmas for us forever. 257 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:18,494 Oh, no, no, no. Open the biggest one first. That's the one. 258 00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:21,658 Look at that. Yeah. That's for both of ya. 259 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:25,363 Tear it apart. Go on. What's in there? 260 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,500 There's nothing in there. 261 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,739 Fake-out! There's nothing in any of 'em! 262 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,214 - Now go wake up your pill-head mother. - [ Tape Machine Clicks ] 263 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:41,583 Aw. Oh, this is bringing back such great memories! 264 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,055 The fake out was the best, right? Right, Eugene? 265 00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:47,490 No! No. Eugene, will you please tell him... 266 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,427 what a terrible person he's been for always doing this to us, please? 267 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:54,933 What are you talking about? Eugene was the guy who taught me the fake out. 268 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,436 He's right. But I have changed, my good friend. 269 00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,233 - Yeah, see? He's changed. - That's the point. 270 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:02,900 - He changed. And now it's time for you to change. - Yeah. 271 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:06,411 They're right. Are you ready to find the loving arms of God? 272 00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:08,571 - [Dennis ] God! - Where is your anger? 273 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:11,411 - This is time to get your vengeance, guy. - [ Groans ] 274 00:14:11,483 --> 00:14:13,747 - Let's all go to church. - [Dee ] No! 275 00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:15,912 - Let's move on to Christmas present. - Yeah. This is- 276 00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,922 Let's just continue the journey. Grab your jacket. 277 00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,958 - Eugene, up, up, up, up, up. - All right. 278 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,118 - [Dennis ] Come on. - Come on, Eugene. Let's go with them. 279 00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,625 [Door Opens ] 280 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,164 - Hi! - Wow! 281 00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,598 Yeah, man! See, this is Christmas, right? 282 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,760 - Yeah, your mom's really into this, huh? - She loves it. Hey, Ma! 283 00:14:30,836 --> 00:14:33,100 - Oh! Oh, you! [ Laughing ] - Hey! 284 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:34,833 - Hey! - Merry Christmas! 285 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,841 - I'm so excited! It's almost Christmas! - I'm so excited! 286 00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:39,002 - Oh, merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas! 287 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,478 Oh, you brought the vodka. 288 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:45,483 Glug, glug, glug, glug. Christmastime! Christmastime! Drinkin' our Christmas. 289 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,611 Thank you. Well, listen, you guys. Make yourselves at home. 290 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:52,623 I'll be in the kitchen making gingerbread men for my gingerbread boys. 291 00:14:52,691 --> 00:14:55,353 - Yeah! Gingerbread men! - All right, man. 292 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:57,622 - See? Now, this is Christmas, man! - I feel it. I'm back. 293 00:14:57,696 --> 00:15:00,494 - Mac is back. - You got good tunes, good food on the way. 294 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,000 My mom and I would be excited about the Santas coming over. 295 00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:05,770 - Yeah. Yeah. - This is Christmas, bro! 296 00:15:05,903 --> 00:15:09,168 - The-The what? - The Santas that come over on Christmas to cheer my mom up. 297 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,367 - The Santas, plural? - Yeah. 298 00:15:11,442 --> 00:15:13,842 - What the hell you talking about? - Oh, dude. 299 00:15:13,911 --> 00:15:17,005 This was, like, the best tradition ever, man. 300 00:15:17,081 --> 00:15:19,345 [Man ] � You better watch out, you better not cry � 301 00:15:19,416 --> 00:15:21,407 - [ Charlie ] Every Christmas morning- - [Doorbell Rings ] 302 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:24,352 I would run to the door and I'd open it, and I'd find the first Santa Claus. 303 00:15:24,421 --> 00:15:26,355 � Santa Claus is coming to town � 304 00:15:26,423 --> 00:15:29,221 The Santa Claus would come in, and he'd give me a present, you know, or somethin '. 305 00:15:29,293 --> 00:15:31,887 Then he 'd go in the room with my mom, and cheer her up for a while. 306 00:15:31,962 --> 00:15:34,795 - � He 's gonna find out who 's naughty and nice � - [ Blows Kiss ] 307 00:15:34,865 --> 00:15:38,130 - [ Doorbell Rings ] - Then the doorbell wound ring, the next Santa Claus would come. 308 00:15:38,202 --> 00:15:41,228 And he'd give me a present or something or other, and he 'd go cheer my mom up for a while. 309 00:15:41,305 --> 00:15:44,536 - [ Doorbell Rings ] - [ Women ]� He knows when you're awake � 310 00:15:44,608 --> 00:15:46,838 - [ Doorbell Rings ] - [ Man ]� He knows if you�ve been bad or good� 311 00:15:46,911 --> 00:15:49,505 � So be good for goodness 'sake � 312 00:15:50,681 --> 00:15:53,946 I didn't always understand the presents... 313 00:15:54,018 --> 00:15:56,486 but I always found a way to have fun with them. 314 00:15:56,554 --> 00:16:00,513 � Santa Claus is coming to town � 315 00:16:00,591 --> 00:16:03,583 Wait, dude. One year, Santa even brought one of his elves. 316 00:16:03,661 --> 00:16:06,494 It's like a goddamn sauna up there. 317 00:16:06,564 --> 00:16:08,691 [ Charlie ] I think it was an elf. 318 00:16:08,766 --> 00:16:10,825 � Santa Claus is coming to town � 319 00:16:10,901 --> 00:16:14,997 - The memory's kind of blurry for some reason. - Merry Christmas. 320 00:16:15,072 --> 00:16:18,200 - [ Laughing, Slowed Down ] - � You better not pout, I'm telling you why � 321 00:16:18,275 --> 00:16:20,607 � Santa Claus is comin'� 322 00:16:20,678 --> 00:16:24,808 � He's comin' to town �� 323 00:16:29,486 --> 00:16:32,387 Ah. Charlie? I- 324 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,684 I hate to break this to you, man, but- 325 00:16:35,759 --> 00:16:38,557 but based on the story that you just told me... 326 00:16:38,629 --> 00:16:40,597 I think your mother was a prostitute. 327 00:16:40,664 --> 00:16:43,656 - [ Chuckles ] What? - Yeah. 328 00:16:43,734 --> 00:16:47,500 - Come on, man! - I'm just saying, based on that story that you just told me... 329 00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:51,063 I'm fairly certain that those Santas were running a train on your mom for money. 330 00:16:51,141 --> 00:16:54,269 No, dude. They would just give my mom money and go in the- 331 00:16:54,345 --> 00:16:56,438 - [Bell Dings ] - [Bell Tolls ] 332 00:16:56,513 --> 00:16:58,447 Yeah. Chew on that for a second. 333 00:16:59,950 --> 00:17:01,815 - Let that settle in. - No, no. 334 00:17:01,886 --> 00:17:03,478 Yes. 335 00:17:03,554 --> 00:17:05,488 - No. - Yes. 336 00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:06,887 - No. - Yes. 337 00:17:06,957 --> 00:17:09,289 - No! - Yes. 338 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,954 - No! No! - Okay, but, no. Just relax. 339 00:17:12,029 --> 00:17:13,894 - Are you okay? - Ma! 340 00:17:13,964 --> 00:17:16,091 - Let's get you out of here. Let's get out of here. - No! 341 00:17:16,166 --> 00:17:18,225 - Merry Christmas, Mrs. Kelly! - No! No! 342 00:17:18,302 --> 00:17:20,293 - No! No! - Relax, dude. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! 343 00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:25,002 - Okay, here we go. Come on in, guys. - What? 344 00:17:25,075 --> 00:17:27,566 Why would you take me to my old real estate office? 345 00:17:27,645 --> 00:17:29,977 Well, because, Frank, tonight's the annual Christmas party. 346 00:17:30,047 --> 00:17:32,914 We want to show you how much your ex-employees despise you. 347 00:17:32,983 --> 00:17:34,814 But I haven't worked here in years. 348 00:17:34,885 --> 00:17:36,910 I mean, why is this a Christmas present to me? 349 00:17:36,987 --> 00:17:39,649 It's not a Christmas present, Frank. This is the Christmas present. 350 00:17:39,723 --> 00:17:42,283 Uh, all right, Frank. Here's the plan. 351 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:47,126 We're gonna hide you somewhere in the office, so you can hear people talkin' shit about you. 352 00:17:47,197 --> 00:17:50,598 Oh, that's cool. Oh, I see where you're going with this now. 353 00:17:50,668 --> 00:17:54,661 - Sew me into the couch. - Sew you into the couch? What are you saying? 354 00:17:54,738 --> 00:17:57,639 Yeah. That's what I do at home all the time- hide in the couch. 355 00:17:57,708 --> 00:18:01,439 It's a great hiding place. I catch Charlie pounding off all the time. 356 00:18:01,512 --> 00:18:03,980 "Pounding off"? Where do you get these terms? 357 00:18:04,048 --> 00:18:06,881 Why do you wanna catch Charlie masturbating? No, I don't care! 358 00:18:06,951 --> 00:18:09,613 Let's just hide you in a closet, or under a desk, or something. 359 00:18:09,687 --> 00:18:12,121 You wanna do this Christmas Carol bullshit, you do it my way. 360 00:18:12,189 --> 00:18:14,521 - Okay, fine. We'll sew you into a couch, Frank. - Okay, right. 361 00:18:14,591 --> 00:18:18,027 Just rip off the back, take out the stuffing, put me inside and sew it up. 362 00:18:20,564 --> 00:18:25,024 [Man ] � It's the most wonderful time� 363 00:18:25,102 --> 00:18:26,694 � Of the year�� 364 00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:29,762 Excuse me, folks. Hey, happy holidays, huh? 365 00:18:31,809 --> 00:18:34,243 - There we go. How we doing over here? - Uh, not well. 366 00:18:34,311 --> 00:18:36,472 This is ridiculous. People are definitely starting to notice. 367 00:18:36,547 --> 00:18:39,380 Of course they're starting to notice. There's a grown man crammed inside of a couch. 368 00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,384 They're gonna notice. 369 00:18:41,452 --> 00:18:44,012 Let's talk to some people. How 'bout them right there? Can you grab that guy? 370 00:18:44,088 --> 00:18:46,886 - Hey, you two. Hey, you two. - Hey! 371 00:18:46,957 --> 00:18:48,891 How we doing at the Christmas party? We having a good time? 372 00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:50,927 - Yes. - Great. Great. 373 00:18:50,995 --> 00:18:54,658 - So, uh, Frank Reynolds. [ Blowing Raspberry] - We were just talking about him. 374 00:18:54,732 --> 00:18:57,394 - He's the worst, huh? - Do you- Do you work here? 375 00:18:57,468 --> 00:18:59,129 - Yeah, of course. Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. 376 00:18:59,203 --> 00:19:00,795 - Well, we pop around. - We pop around here. 377 00:19:00,871 --> 00:19:02,566 - We're "consultationists." - For this. 378 00:19:02,639 --> 00:19:06,336 - So we consult here. We consult across the street too. - The whole street. 379 00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:08,571 Is there a man in that couch? 380 00:19:08,645 --> 00:19:11,011 [ Forced Laugh ] What are you saying? A man in a couch? 381 00:19:11,081 --> 00:19:13,106 - Hello! - That's absurd. 382 00:19:13,183 --> 00:19:15,276 I believe there's a man in that couch right there. 383 00:19:15,352 --> 00:19:17,081 There is no man. There's no man! 384 00:19:17,154 --> 00:19:19,019 Say some things about Frank Reynolds. 385 00:19:19,089 --> 00:19:22,081 Say 'em loud, make sure they're horrible things, then we'll deal with the man in the couch. 386 00:19:22,159 --> 00:19:25,595 - Okay, so there is a man in the couch. - Call Frank Reynolds an asshole! 387 00:19:25,662 --> 00:19:28,426 - Who is Frank Reynolds? - He's the man in the couch! 388 00:19:28,499 --> 00:19:30,899 Oh, my God! What are you people doing? 389 00:19:30,968 --> 00:19:33,596 Will you just say something about Frank that's horrible! Call him an asshole! 390 00:19:33,670 --> 00:19:35,467 - Frank Reynolds is an asshole! - Oh, thank you! 391 00:19:35,539 --> 00:19:38,406 - [ Creaking ] - Oh, great. Now you�ve- 392 00:19:38,475 --> 00:19:41,069 - [People Gasping] - [ Growling ] 393 00:19:42,312 --> 00:19:45,110 [Man ] Oh, Jesus Christ! 394 00:19:45,182 --> 00:19:47,446 - [Woman ] Oh, no! Oh, no! - What is happening? 395 00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:50,453 - [ Grunts ] Can't breathe! Too hot! - Why are you naked, Frank? 396 00:19:50,521 --> 00:19:52,580 It's too hot in the couch. 397 00:19:52,656 --> 00:19:56,114 - Did you hear? She called you an asshole. - She called you an asshole. 398 00:19:56,193 --> 00:19:57,785 [ Growling ] No air! No air! 399 00:19:57,861 --> 00:20:00,056 - [ Roaring ] - Oh, Jesus! 400 00:20:00,998 --> 00:20:02,795 [ Sighs ] 401 00:20:02,866 --> 00:20:04,800 - [Grunting] - [ Sighs ] 402 00:20:07,871 --> 00:20:09,429 [ Doorbell Rings ] 403 00:20:09,506 --> 00:20:11,770 - Dude, you are amazingly calm right now. - Yeah. 404 00:20:11,842 --> 00:20:14,174 Are you sure you�re not gonna suddenly flip out and massacre me? 405 00:20:14,244 --> 00:20:16,178 No. Well, I'm doing two things. 406 00:20:16,246 --> 00:20:18,180 One: I buried it down deep. 407 00:20:18,248 --> 00:20:21,411 And two: I'm deciding I might not believe that that actually happened. 408 00:20:21,485 --> 00:20:23,476 I could be remembering Christmas wrong. You know what I mean? 409 00:20:23,554 --> 00:20:25,749 Are you sure this is one of the houses you robbed? 410 00:20:25,823 --> 00:20:29,088 Yeah. This is Ricky Falcone's house. I distinctly remember getting the Omnibot here. 411 00:20:29,159 --> 00:20:31,457 - Wow. - I always thanked Ricky in school too. 412 00:20:31,528 --> 00:20:34,622 - He never had any idea what I was talking about. - No, he wouldn't know. 413 00:20:34,698 --> 00:20:36,632 Hey-oh! Ricky Falcone! 414 00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:39,828 - Hey, buddy. - How you doin', man? Good to see you. 415 00:20:39,903 --> 00:20:45,034 - Can I help you? - Uh, well, why don't we have our friend do the talking? 416 00:20:45,109 --> 00:20:48,078 [Motor Whirring] 417 00:20:48,145 --> 00:20:51,637 [ Beeping ] 418 00:20:59,490 --> 00:21:01,424 Hello, Ricky. 419 00:21:01,492 --> 00:21:04,655 When you were a little boy, I was stolen from you... 420 00:21:04,728 --> 00:21:07,356 on Christmas day. 421 00:21:07,431 --> 00:21:10,229 It was a big misunderstanding. 422 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:12,996 I miss you. I love you. 423 00:21:13,070 --> 00:21:15,834 I'm sorry. [ Clicks ] 424 00:21:19,476 --> 00:21:22,468 So, you stole this from me... 425 00:21:22,546 --> 00:21:25,538 and now you're coming back 20 years later to return it to me? 426 00:21:25,616 --> 00:21:28,915 - Ooh. R- Return it? No. - Return? No. 427 00:21:28,986 --> 00:21:31,614 - No, not exactly. - We didn't think you�d want the robot back... 428 00:21:31,688 --> 00:21:34,521 - seeing how as you're an adult and everything now. - You are a grown man. 429 00:21:34,591 --> 00:21:36,752 - It was more about the apology. - The apology, so- 430 00:21:36,827 --> 00:21:39,057 - We're keeping the robot. - All right. Let me get this straight. 431 00:21:39,129 --> 00:21:42,155 You two assholes are coming over to show me something you stole from me... 432 00:21:42,232 --> 00:21:44,564 but you�re not giving it back? 433 00:21:44,635 --> 00:21:48,901 At this point, I believe the robot's falling under the finders-keepers law of America. 434 00:21:48,972 --> 00:21:51,304 - You didn't find it. You stole it. - Well, hang on a second. 435 00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:53,502 - I didn't steal anything. He stole it. - Technically, I am the one. 436 00:21:53,577 --> 00:21:56,011 - It was his family's tradition, going around stealing- - We're getting off topic. 437 00:21:56,079 --> 00:21:58,104 Ricky, obviously you�re in some kind of a rut. 438 00:21:58,182 --> 00:22:01,948 - I can tell by your clothes, and you don't look good. - I'm not in a rut. 439 00:22:02,019 --> 00:22:05,785 Listen, bro. Why don�t you just take the apology, stop being so hard on yourself? 440 00:22:05,856 --> 00:22:07,983 It's about forgiveness! We're trying to get the Christmas spirit, dude! 441 00:22:08,058 --> 00:22:10,390 - Where are we- - [ Groans ] 442 00:22:10,460 --> 00:22:12,519 - Some people can't be helped. - That didn't go as planned. 443 00:22:12,596 --> 00:22:14,655 I'm glad he didn't, you know, pound us. 444 00:22:14,731 --> 00:22:16,722 This is a test, dude. We're getting tested. 445 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,132 - It's a Christmas spirit kind of a test, you know? - Yeah? 446 00:22:19,203 --> 00:22:22,195 We're getting curveballs left and right, with my mom and your folks. 447 00:22:22,272 --> 00:22:24,502 We gotta rise to the occasion, dude. We gotta step up. 448 00:22:24,575 --> 00:22:26,805 - Okay. I got a plan. - I love it. I love it. 449 00:22:26,877 --> 00:22:28,811 - I got a plan. - You're good like that, man. 450 00:22:28,879 --> 00:22:32,337 Let's go to the mall, get him the hottest-selling toy this season, give it to his kids. 451 00:22:32,416 --> 00:22:35,943 - Oh, my God. - Then he'll forgive us, and we get the Christmas spirit back. 452 00:22:36,019 --> 00:22:38,920 Then everyone gets the Christmas spirit. Maybe we'll get him new clothes too. 453 00:22:38,989 --> 00:22:41,321 - That dude is in a rut. - Which way is the bus stop? 454 00:22:41,391 --> 00:22:43,723 Uh, well, we came this way. 455 00:22:53,203 --> 00:22:56,195 Yo. Mac, check this shit out right here, dude. 456 00:22:56,273 --> 00:22:58,207 I bought Ricky a new shirt, you know? 457 00:22:58,275 --> 00:23:01,073 Maybe he could wear it to, like, a job interview. It's gonna clean his look up. 458 00:23:01,144 --> 00:23:03,271 - Get him out of that rut. - Get him out of the rut! 459 00:23:03,347 --> 00:23:06,009 - Maybe we should pick him up some face wash too. - Oh, my God. His skin! 460 00:23:06,083 --> 00:23:08,677 - Did you see that skin? - Terrible. How's it going in here? Find any good toys? 461 00:23:08,752 --> 00:23:10,481 Not good. No, actually. Let's ask this guy. 462 00:23:10,554 --> 00:23:12,351 Excuse me, sir. Hi. 463 00:23:12,422 --> 00:23:15,949 What is the hottest-selling toy item that you have in this store right now? 464 00:23:16,026 --> 00:23:19,928 Actually, the hottest-selling item right now is Redman the Robot. 465 00:23:19,997 --> 00:23:21,726 - Are you serious? - Redman the Robot? 466 00:23:21,798 --> 00:23:23,925 - That's what the kids are into? - Shit don't change! 467 00:23:24,001 --> 00:23:25,662 - All right! - Shit don't change! 468 00:23:25,736 --> 00:23:27,829 - We'll take one Redman the Robot, please. - We're sold out. 469 00:23:27,904 --> 00:23:30,304 - Uh- - You're sold out? 470 00:23:30,374 --> 00:23:32,274 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, but it's Christmas Eve, dude. 471 00:23:32,342 --> 00:23:35,470 - You're not gonna sell out on Christmas Eve, right? - There were a lot of people here. 472 00:23:35,545 --> 00:23:37,479 But it's Christmas Eve. You would stock up. 473 00:23:37,547 --> 00:23:39,481 - What kind of business model is that? - I get it. 474 00:23:39,549 --> 00:23:43,144 Just run and go get us one of the special reserve toys I know you got back there. 475 00:23:43,220 --> 00:23:46,189 Um, I'm being very serious right now. We don't have any. 476 00:23:46,256 --> 00:23:48,554 Right. So, okay. So hold on a second. 477 00:23:48,625 --> 00:23:51,423 You're telling me that if Mike Schmidt were to walk in here right now... 478 00:23:51,495 --> 00:23:53,656 and say, "Hey, get me a Redman the Robot"... 479 00:23:53,730 --> 00:23:56,528 you'd say, "I'm sorry. We're all out. We're sold out, Mike"? 480 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,535 - Who is Mike Schmidt? - Who's Mike Schmidt! 481 00:23:59,603 --> 00:24:02,197 Bro, have some respect here, man. What are you talkin' about? 482 00:24:02,272 --> 00:24:04,706 I don't know who Mike Schmidt is. 483 00:24:04,775 --> 00:24:06,766 - You've never heard of Mike Schmidt? - Easy, dude. 484 00:24:06,843 --> 00:24:09,539 - Don't lose your cool. - Twelve-time All Star, three-time baseball M.V.P.? 485 00:24:09,613 --> 00:24:12,514 - Maybe he doesn't know- - I don't buy it for one second, dude! 486 00:24:12,582 --> 00:24:14,914 - Maybe he's never heard- - He's the all-time leading home run hitter. 487 00:24:14,985 --> 00:24:17,579 - No, he's not the all-time leading home run hitter. - For white guys he is. 488 00:24:17,654 --> 00:24:19,918 He's not even for white guys. Babe Ruth's got more than him. 489 00:24:19,990 --> 00:24:22,982 Next you�re gonna tell me you don't know who Von Hayes is or Steve "Bedrock" Bedrosian. 490 00:24:23,060 --> 00:24:25,221 - I don't buy it, bitch! - Maybe he's not a baseball fan. 491 00:24:25,295 --> 00:24:27,058 - He's lying! Go get me one! - Don't lose your cool! 492 00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:29,291 - He's lying, dude. He's got 'em back there. - Keep the Christmas spirit. 493 00:24:29,366 --> 00:24:31,357 Von Hayes walks in here, you got one for Von Hayes? 494 00:24:31,435 --> 00:24:33,869 Dude, nobody knows who Von Hayes is! Man, relax. 495 00:24:36,306 --> 00:24:38,638 - Aw, shit, dude. I'm sorry. - That's okay, man. 496 00:24:38,709 --> 00:24:41,542 - I lost my cool. - I don't know who doesn't know who Mike Schmidt is. 497 00:24:41,611 --> 00:24:43,602 - Right? It's ridiculous. - Let's just be calm, right? 498 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,171 It's a Christmas test. Another Christmas test. Think of it that way. 499 00:24:46,249 --> 00:24:48,046 - Okay. Charlie? I got a new plan. -Just like that? 500 00:24:48,118 --> 00:24:49,449 - Yeah, dude. - That's so fast. 501 00:24:49,519 --> 00:24:50,918 - I'm firing on all cylinders. - Okay. 502 00:24:50,987 --> 00:24:53,251 - It's a bit of a blessing and a curse. - Let me hear it. 503 00:24:53,323 --> 00:24:56,292 Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna wait till the mall closes, break into the store... 504 00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:58,590 - steal the robot, give that to Ricky. - No, no, no, dude. 505 00:24:58,662 --> 00:25:01,722 You're stealing on Christmas again. That's not very Christmas-like. 506 00:25:01,798 --> 00:25:03,459 Shit, dude. It's a vicious cycle. 507 00:25:03,533 --> 00:25:06,297 - I feel like my parents really screwed me up. - Yeah, but look at me. 508 00:25:06,370 --> 00:25:09,032 - I-I get curveballs from Mommy, you know? - Yeah. 509 00:25:09,106 --> 00:25:12,439 But I'm standing tall. I'm calm. I got the Christmas- 510 00:25:13,610 --> 00:25:16,044 - [Bell Tolls ] - � You better watch out� 511 00:25:16,113 --> 00:25:19,378 � You better not cry You better not pout, I'm telling you why� 512 00:25:19,449 --> 00:25:20,973 - � Why� - Ho-ho-ho-ho! [ Laughing ] 513 00:25:21,051 --> 00:25:23,042 � Santa Claus is coming to town � 514 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:24,712 It's good. Your mom's gonna like that. 515 00:25:24,788 --> 00:25:27,655 [Echoing] � He's making a list, checking it twice � 516 00:25:27,724 --> 00:25:30,625 - � He's gonna find out who's naughty or nice � - Where are you going, dude? 517 00:25:30,694 --> 00:25:32,662 Charlie! What are you doing? 518 00:25:32,729 --> 00:25:34,890 - � Santa Claus is coming to town � - Charlie. What are you doing? 519 00:25:34,965 --> 00:25:37,559 - No! - I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. 520 00:25:37,634 --> 00:25:39,727 I'm sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. 521 00:25:39,803 --> 00:25:41,464 Merry Christmas. Bye-bye. 522 00:25:41,538 --> 00:25:44,132 - We don't have time for this shit. - Ho-ho-ho-ho! 523 00:25:44,207 --> 00:25:46,835 Well, hello, and merry Christmas. 524 00:25:48,378 --> 00:25:51,347 So, where's your little one? Ooh! 525 00:25:51,415 --> 00:25:54,350 [ Laughing ] Oh, you're a big boy, aren�t you? 526 00:25:54,418 --> 00:25:57,182 [ Laughing ] Uh, is he retarded? 527 00:25:57,254 --> 00:25:59,313 Yeah. I got this one. 528 00:25:59,389 --> 00:26:03,723 So, son, what would you like for Christmas, huh? 529 00:26:04,928 --> 00:26:06,862 Did you fuck my mom? 530 00:26:08,365 --> 00:26:10,424 What? 531 00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:15,460 Did you fuck... my... mom? 532 00:26:15,539 --> 00:26:17,837 What do you mean? I, uh, uh- 533 00:26:17,908 --> 00:26:20,468 Did you fuck my mom, Santa Claus? 534 00:26:20,544 --> 00:26:22,637 - Did you fuck my mom? - No. 535 00:26:22,712 --> 00:26:24,839 Did you fuck her? Did you fuck my fucking mom? 536 00:26:24,915 --> 00:26:27,145 Did you fuck my mom, Santa? 537 00:26:27,217 --> 00:26:29,185 - [Screams ] He's biting my neck! - Charlie! 538 00:26:29,252 --> 00:26:31,345 Get him off!. He's trying to kill me! 539 00:26:31,421 --> 00:26:33,616 - [ Shouting ] - [People Screaming] 540 00:26:33,690 --> 00:26:35,988 - No, no! - Did you fuck my mom? 541 00:26:36,059 --> 00:26:39,688 - Did you fuck my mom? - You're gonna kill Santa Claus! 542 00:26:39,763 --> 00:26:42,197 [Screaming] 543 00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:46,227 - Mommy! - [ Screams ] 544 00:26:46,303 --> 00:26:48,669 Oh, shit. I'm sorry, kid. 545 00:26:48,738 --> 00:26:50,797 Charlie, we gotta go, dude! Come on, bro! 546 00:26:50,874 --> 00:26:53,866 - Dude, what the fuck are you doing? - Did you fuck my mom? 547 00:26:53,944 --> 00:26:56,936 - [Mac] Let's get out of here! - Did you fuck my mom? 548 00:26:57,013 --> 00:26:59,345 - Did you fuck my mom? Did you fuck my mom? - [ Girl Screaming ] 549 00:26:59,416 --> 00:27:01,680 Santa's been attacked! 550 00:27:01,751 --> 00:27:05,414 - [ Screaming ] - [ Charlie Shouting ] 551 00:27:09,826 --> 00:27:14,058 [ Crying ] 552 00:27:18,969 --> 00:27:21,995 You think, when we leave, you could just, uh... 553 00:27:22,072 --> 00:27:24,233 you know, swing by my house and drop me off? 554 00:27:24,307 --> 00:27:26,639 No. No. We don't have time for that shit, all right? 555 00:27:26,710 --> 00:27:28,735 Listen, we're doing the Christmas future. We're doing it now. 556 00:27:28,812 --> 00:27:30,370 - What the hell is this? - You ready? 557 00:27:30,447 --> 00:27:33,939 That is Mom's grave, right? And this, right here? 558 00:27:34,017 --> 00:27:37,612 - This is your eternal resting- - Yo, Deandra. That-That is not my future. 559 00:27:37,687 --> 00:27:39,678 I'm not gonna be buried in a grave. 560 00:27:39,756 --> 00:27:41,690 When I'm dead, just throw me in the trash. 561 00:27:41,758 --> 00:27:45,091 - Okay. - You know what? Just change now. Okay? 562 00:27:45,161 --> 00:27:47,595 - It's time for you to change, okay? - It's time for that now. 563 00:27:47,664 --> 00:27:50,758 We did the Christmas past. We did the old man ghost. We did the grave thing. 564 00:27:50,834 --> 00:27:53,496 - Here we are. - Now it's time for you to change and give us reparations. 565 00:27:53,570 --> 00:27:57,097 You give us reparations, and cars, and Lamborghinis, and goddamn money! 566 00:27:57,173 --> 00:27:59,107 - And purses! - You son of a bitch! 567 00:27:59,175 --> 00:28:02,372 - Aha! That's what this is all about, right? - [ Both ] Yeah! 568 00:28:02,445 --> 00:28:04,936 You don't give a shit whether I change or not, do you? Huh? 569 00:28:05,015 --> 00:28:09,247 It's all about you- what you want. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! 570 00:28:09,319 --> 00:28:12,413 Well, you're never gonna learn your lesson, Dennis. You're never gonna learn, Deandra. 571 00:28:12,489 --> 00:28:14,616 - Oh, screw your goddamn lesson! - Yeah? I'm out of here. 572 00:28:14,691 --> 00:28:18,855 Who gives a shit about your lesson? Just stop ruining Christmas... for us! 573 00:28:21,197 --> 00:28:24,997 I didn't think that I would still be involved at this point. 574 00:28:25,068 --> 00:28:27,093 So... 575 00:28:27,170 --> 00:28:30,571 why don't you just take me home? 576 00:28:32,475 --> 00:28:34,409 You know what, Eugene? 577 00:28:34,477 --> 00:28:38,140 - You are useless. - You have been an awesome disappointment to us. 578 00:28:38,214 --> 00:28:41,047 You have contributed nothing to any of this, Eugene! 579 00:28:41,117 --> 00:28:43,108 You, yourself, have ruined Christmas! 580 00:28:43,186 --> 00:28:48,021 You didn't let me talk to Frank about the peace that he would find in the Lord. 581 00:28:48,091 --> 00:28:50,457 - No, no, no, no! No! - We don't want to hear about the Lord anymore! 582 00:28:50,527 --> 00:28:52,688 - I can't stand it. - Why would I wanna hear about Jesus and the Lord? 583 00:28:52,762 --> 00:28:54,730 If you think Jesus and the Lord are so great... 584 00:28:54,798 --> 00:28:57,198 why don�t you have them swing by in their Lamborghinis and take your ass home! 585 00:28:57,267 --> 00:28:59,667 That's a good idea. 586 00:29:03,806 --> 00:29:06,240 [Charlie ] Hey, Mac. 587 00:29:06,308 --> 00:29:10,335 Now, I know things weren't pretty at the mall, but we have a chance to save Christmas. 588 00:29:10,413 --> 00:29:12,779 And check it out- We can still get some Christmas spirit... 589 00:29:12,848 --> 00:29:15,681 if we just bring that shirt I bought over to Ricky Falcone. 590 00:29:15,751 --> 00:29:18,242 The shirt. Is this the shirt that you�re referring to? 591 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,686 - Yeah! - It's covered in blood, Charlie. 592 00:29:20,756 --> 00:29:23,190 Santa's blood, you goddamn lunatic! 593 00:29:23,259 --> 00:29:25,420 - It's not gonna work, is it? - No, it's not gonna work. 594 00:29:25,494 --> 00:29:27,894 The only way that we're gonna get back the Christmas spirit... 595 00:29:27,963 --> 00:29:30,261 - is if we get back to the basics. - You're right, man. 596 00:29:30,332 --> 00:29:32,493 We're gonna throw rocks at trains. 597 00:29:32,568 --> 00:29:34,729 There�s just no way to get the Christmas spirit anymore, man. 598 00:29:34,804 --> 00:29:36,999 Take the Christmas decorations down, you guys. I am dead serious. 599 00:29:37,073 --> 00:29:40,406 Christmas is a bullshit holiday, and it is forever banned from Paddy's Irish Pub. 600 00:29:40,476 --> 00:29:43,206 - That's it! - [ Charlie ] Take it easy. Have a drink. We get it. 601 00:29:43,279 --> 00:29:45,213 - We're starting to feel the same way. - You are? 602 00:29:45,281 --> 00:29:47,272 Yeah. Christmas is just a bunch of bullshit. 603 00:29:47,349 --> 00:29:49,647 You just find out that your dad stole all your presents... 604 00:29:49,719 --> 00:29:52,586 and that your mom gets fucked by a series of never-ending Santa Clauses. 605 00:29:52,655 --> 00:29:54,589 Charlie's mom is a prostitute, by the way. 606 00:29:54,657 --> 00:29:56,989 - We don't know that for sure, okay? - We know it for sure. 607 00:29:57,059 --> 00:29:59,391 - Let's just move past it, accept it and go. - [Phone Rings ] 608 00:29:59,462 --> 00:30:01,089 - I can see that. - I definitely buy that. 609 00:30:01,163 --> 00:30:02,994 - I can see that. - I was thinking the same thing. 610 00:30:03,065 --> 00:30:06,398 Hey, guys. Frank's dead. 611 00:30:06,469 --> 00:30:08,528 What? 612 00:30:08,604 --> 00:30:12,301 Somebody from the hospital. Apparently, Frank was in a car accident. 613 00:30:12,374 --> 00:30:15,832 He's dead. They want us to come and identify his body. 614 00:30:17,079 --> 00:30:19,741 Oh, my God. 615 00:30:19,949 --> 00:30:21,712 [Machine Beeping] 616 00:30:21,784 --> 00:30:24,014 [ Sighs ] This is heavy, man. Really heavy. 617 00:30:24,086 --> 00:30:26,247 I don't know that I'm ready to see his dead body. 618 00:30:26,322 --> 00:30:28,813 Okay, this is his room, you guys. Just brace yourselves. 619 00:30:28,891 --> 00:30:30,882 This could be a little rough. 620 00:30:32,094 --> 00:30:35,257 - Yo! - What the hell is this? 621 00:30:35,331 --> 00:30:37,891 [ Laughs ] Well, I knew you guys would never come to see me... 622 00:30:37,967 --> 00:30:39,901 so I faked my own death. 623 00:30:39,969 --> 00:30:42,961 - Really should have seen that one coming, right? - Yeah. 624 00:30:43,038 --> 00:30:45,871 Really should have seen that coming. So there was no car accident. 625 00:30:45,941 --> 00:30:50,071 Oh, no, I spun out. Thank God the door was open, and I was thrown from the car. 626 00:30:50,146 --> 00:30:52,080 And I sprained my ankle. 627 00:30:52,148 --> 00:30:55,276 So you call us down here to show us that you have a sprained ankle? 628 00:30:55,351 --> 00:30:58,252 No, no, no, no. I called you down here to tell you something else. 629 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,311 I had a vision. 630 00:31:00,389 --> 00:31:03,916 I was drivin' out of the cemetery in the Countach. 631 00:31:03,993 --> 00:31:05,961 �� [Ballad: Backup Singers Vocalizing] 632 00:31:06,028 --> 00:31:10,431 I just finished my bag of Cheesy Loops and malt balls. 633 00:31:10,499 --> 00:31:14,128 I musta hit a patch of ice. I start swirlin' out of control! 634 00:31:14,203 --> 00:31:17,104 - I was thrown from the car. - [ Crash ] 635 00:31:17,173 --> 00:31:21,132 I musta hit my head on the pavement, 'cause everything went white... 636 00:31:21,210 --> 00:31:23,940 and I saw this magical land. 637 00:31:24,013 --> 00:31:26,004 [ Grunting] 638 00:31:26,081 --> 00:31:28,015 Whoa, this is freaky! 639 00:31:28,083 --> 00:31:30,449 Oh, hello there, Frank! 640 00:31:30,519 --> 00:31:32,487 Hey, who said that? 641 00:31:32,555 --> 00:31:34,489 Over here! 642 00:31:34,557 --> 00:31:38,516 I heard you've been a grumpy-Gussy Christmas grouch. 643 00:31:38,594 --> 00:31:40,186 Yeah? So what? 644 00:31:40,262 --> 00:31:42,492 Well, you need to get the Christmas spirit. 645 00:31:42,565 --> 00:31:45,295 I don't need to listen to this shit. Where the hell is my Countach? 646 00:31:45,367 --> 00:31:46,959 I'm gettin' outta here. 647 00:31:47,036 --> 00:31:49,095 Coun... tach? 648 00:31:49,171 --> 00:31:51,105 Yeah. It's a Lamborghini, shit-bird. 649 00:31:51,173 --> 00:31:53,004 You ever heard of one? 650 00:31:54,844 --> 00:31:56,778 [ Spits ] 651 00:31:56,846 --> 00:31:59,178 What the hell was that, you little green bitch? 652 00:31:59,248 --> 00:32:02,684 � Christmas is a time for joy � 653 00:32:02,751 --> 00:32:06,687 � For every girl and every boy � 654 00:32:06,755 --> 00:32:09,724 � Rich or poor, old or young � 655 00:32:09,792 --> 00:32:12,693 �The Christmas spirit's in everyone � 656 00:32:12,761 --> 00:32:14,228 � Fa-la-la-la � 657 00:32:14,296 --> 00:32:17,424 � But you�ll miss out on all the fun � 658 00:32:17,499 --> 00:32:21,026 � 'Cause you�re not nice to anyone � 659 00:32:22,137 --> 00:32:25,368 � A grumpy-Gussy Christmas grouch � 660 00:32:25,441 --> 00:32:28,672 �Who hides out in his couch � 661 00:32:28,744 --> 00:32:32,145 �Watching his roommate pounding off � 662 00:32:33,949 --> 00:32:36,474 � Pulling fake outs Pulling pranks � 663 00:32:36,552 --> 00:32:39,680 � Gives your friends the Christmas cranks � 664 00:32:41,323 --> 00:32:44,918 � And this is how they will react� 665 00:32:44,994 --> 00:32:46,484 � When they finally crack� 666 00:32:47,997 --> 00:32:50,261 � They'll rip your arm off at the bone � 667 00:32:50,332 --> 00:32:51,492 � Eat it like an ice cream cone � 668 00:32:51,567 --> 00:32:53,933 � And gouge your eyes out with a spoon � 669 00:32:54,003 --> 00:32:55,595 � Blow them up like two balloons � 670 00:32:55,671 --> 00:32:57,195 � Keep them close so you can see � 671 00:32:57,273 --> 00:32:59,070 � As they chain-saw off your knee � 672 00:32:59,141 --> 00:33:00,403 � Bash your body with a board� 673 00:33:00,476 --> 00:33:04,742 � And hang you by your spinal cord� 674 00:33:04,813 --> 00:33:06,610 [ Grunting, Gagging ] 675 00:33:06,682 --> 00:33:08,240 Oh, shit. 676 00:33:08,317 --> 00:33:11,047 � And then they'll rip you down so you survive � 677 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,520 � Grind your legs while you're alive � 678 00:33:13,589 --> 00:33:15,716 � Throw you to a gator-pit Let them gnaw on you a bit � 679 00:33:15,791 --> 00:33:17,281 � Pull you out and stab your face � 680 00:33:17,359 --> 00:33:19,190 � Spray your wounds all full of Mace � 681 00:33:19,261 --> 00:33:20,489 � Now they're really getting brazen � 682 00:33:20,562 --> 00:33:25,226 � When you're burned by racist singing raisins � 683 00:33:25,301 --> 00:33:27,667 - �� [ Raisins Vocalizing ] - Broi I that jive turkey! 684 00:33:27,736 --> 00:33:29,431 Yeah, burn his ass off! 685 00:33:29,505 --> 00:33:31,871 - �� [ Vocalizing Continues ] - [ Raisins Laughing] 686 00:33:33,742 --> 00:33:37,576 � But it's not too late to make amends � 687 00:33:37,646 --> 00:33:40,206 � With your family With your friends � 688 00:33:40,282 --> 00:33:44,309 � All you really have to do is � 689 00:33:44,386 --> 00:33:47,150 - � Get the spirit � - � Get the Christmas spirit � 690 00:33:47,222 --> 00:33:50,020 - � Get the Christmas spirit � - �� [ Vocalizing ] 691 00:33:50,092 --> 00:33:52,151 � Get the Christmas spirit � 692 00:33:52,227 --> 00:33:54,661 � Inside � 693 00:33:54,730 --> 00:33:57,790 �You �� 694 00:33:57,866 --> 00:33:59,424 Good-bye, folks! 695 00:34:03,906 --> 00:34:07,467 Why did the elf have no pants on? 696 00:34:07,543 --> 00:34:09,909 I didn't say the elf had no pants on. 697 00:34:09,979 --> 00:34:11,776 Oh. 698 00:34:11,847 --> 00:34:15,647 I might have added something in my brain there at the end. I've had a very strange day. 699 00:34:15,718 --> 00:34:18,482 The point is, I'm a changed man... 700 00:34:18,554 --> 00:34:23,617 and I want another chance to give you guys the absolute best Christmas... 701 00:34:23,692 --> 00:34:25,455 you ever had. 702 00:34:25,527 --> 00:34:29,122 Too bad, jerk! The only thing your story proves is that you�re a demented asshole. 703 00:34:29,198 --> 00:34:31,291 Wait a second, Dee. W-W-Wait. 704 00:34:31,367 --> 00:34:34,336 Maybe there is a lesson to be learned in all of this. 705 00:34:34,403 --> 00:34:38,134 The best part of Frank's story was how the four of us came together as a group... 706 00:34:38,207 --> 00:34:40,141 to mercilessly slaughter him. 707 00:34:40,209 --> 00:34:43,645 You see what I'm saying? And I think that's what Christmas is really all about. 708 00:34:43,712 --> 00:34:46,146 After all, it's the four of us really sticking together. 709 00:34:46,215 --> 00:34:50,811 You're saying we've been relying too heavily on our parents to give us a good Christmas. 710 00:34:50,886 --> 00:34:54,822 If we stick together, we can give each other the Christmas spirit. 711 00:34:54,890 --> 00:34:58,053 That's right. I don't think it's too late for us to give ourselves a great Christmas. 712 00:34:58,127 --> 00:35:01,528 - Really? - I got something I gotta finish. Let's do it together. 713 00:35:01,597 --> 00:35:04,464 - All right! - Let's have a good Christmas! 714 00:35:04,533 --> 00:35:07,991 - What about me? - Oh, you go fuck yourself in your fat fuckin' ass. 715 00:35:19,848 --> 00:35:23,340 Hey, do you guys think it's too late to get a Christmas tree? 716 00:35:23,419 --> 00:35:26,354 - Yeah, dude, way too late. - I don't care for fir trees anyway. 717 00:35:26,422 --> 00:35:28,356 - What's wrong with 'em? - I don't like the smell. 718 00:35:28,424 --> 00:35:32,622 - Plus they're a fire hazard. - If you�re gonna get a tree, get a tree that does something. 719 00:35:32,694 --> 00:35:35,857 - Like an orange tree. - Where you gonna find an orange tree in Philadelphia? 720 00:35:35,931 --> 00:35:38,764 - We could get a bag of oranges! - Now you�re thinking! 721 00:35:38,834 --> 00:35:41,769 - And do what? Hang 'em in the bar? - No, it'll be awesome! 722 00:35:41,837 --> 00:35:44,772 - We give 'em to each other as gifts! - That's a terrible gift. 723 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,173 - All right, here we go. - �� [ Hums ] 724 00:35:48,243 --> 00:35:51,508 � O holy night � 725 00:35:51,580 --> 00:35:55,516 �The stars are brightly shining � 726 00:35:55,584 --> 00:35:58,781 - � It is the night of our dear savior's birth � - What are you guys doing? 727 00:35:58,854 --> 00:36:00,788 It's 4:00 in the goddamn morning. 728 00:36:00,856 --> 00:36:03,848 � Long lay the world in- � 729 00:36:03,926 --> 00:36:06,895 Hey! Shut up! 730 00:36:06,962 --> 00:36:09,556 - What the hell do you want? - We want to give you some Christmas cheer. 731 00:36:09,631 --> 00:36:12,065 - A-And a new shirt! - Yeah! I got you a shirt! 732 00:36:12,134 --> 00:36:15,433 I got a little blood on that, but it's cool. It's gonna wash out. You're gonna look sharp. 733 00:36:15,504 --> 00:36:17,131 I don't want your stupid shirt. 734 00:36:17,206 --> 00:36:20,903 Do yourself a favor. Take the shirt, get out of that rut. 735 00:36:20,976 --> 00:36:22,944 Hey! Shut the hell up down there! 736 00:36:23,011 --> 00:36:25,878 - You shut the hell up up there! - Hey, jerk-off!. 737 00:36:25,948 --> 00:36:30,442 - Don't make me come down there! - Come down! See what happens! I'll bite you in your neck! 738 00:36:30,519 --> 00:36:33,955 - Get the hell out of here! - We're trying to give you the Christmas spirit, dick-hole! 739 00:36:34,022 --> 00:36:36,957 - I don't want it! - [ Woman ] Nobody wants it, assholes! 740 00:36:37,025 --> 00:36:39,653 - Goddamn it! Goddamn you, bitch! - You're gonna get it anyway! 741 00:36:39,728 --> 00:36:42,424 - Keep singin'! - � Fall on your knees � 742 00:36:42,498 --> 00:36:44,466 Here's your blood, bitch! 743 00:36:44,533 --> 00:36:47,400 - �� [ Continues ] - [Man ]� O hear� 744 00:36:47,469 --> 00:36:51,565 � The angel voices � 745 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:57,010 - � O night divine� - [ Screaming, Yelling ] 746 00:36:59,081 --> 00:37:03,279 � O night when Christ was born� 747 00:37:03,352 --> 00:37:06,788 I knew I shouldn't have parked in front of the hydrant. I knew it. I did it anyway. 748 00:37:06,855 --> 00:37:10,723 - I was gonna say something. Don't know why I didn't. - Who tows on Christmas Eve? 749 00:37:10,792 --> 00:37:12,726 - Christmas. - Huh? 750 00:37:12,794 --> 00:37:14,728 It's been Christmas for six hours! 751 00:37:14,796 --> 00:37:17,230 I don't even give a shit. It doesn't matter. 752 00:37:17,299 --> 00:37:19,733 Let's just get blackout drunk and forget about this entire experience. 753 00:37:19,801 --> 00:37:23,259 - Aah! This is the worst Christmas ever! - Oh, yeah, by far. 754 00:37:23,338 --> 00:37:26,774 - Oh, it's a beauty. - [Electric Train Whistle Tooting] 755 00:37:26,842 --> 00:37:29,538 - Surprise! - Surprise! 756 00:37:29,611 --> 00:37:31,670 Holy shit! You put all the decorations up! 757 00:37:31,747 --> 00:37:35,706 - Yes, we did. - All right, all right. What's going on here, Frank? 758 00:37:35,784 --> 00:37:38,446 I told you in the hospital I was a changed man. 759 00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,648 Right after I left I went to see my old business partner, Eugene. 760 00:37:41,723 --> 00:37:44,317 We made up, we came in, and we did all this. 761 00:37:44,393 --> 00:37:47,521 - Your old business partner? The "scumbag" Eugene? - [ Chuckling ] Yeah. 762 00:37:47,596 --> 00:37:49,325 He's not a scumbag anymore. 763 00:37:49,398 --> 00:37:53,630 He's a changed man just like me, Charlie. Go ahead. Look at all that stuff. 764 00:37:53,702 --> 00:37:56,694 - Are all these presents for us? - Yep. They're all for you. 765 00:37:56,772 --> 00:37:58,797 Fake-out? 766 00:37:58,874 --> 00:38:01,001 No. No fake outs. That's yours, hon. 767 00:38:01,076 --> 00:38:03,203 And I'm gonna pay for the dry-cleaning... 768 00:38:03,278 --> 00:38:05,178 for the Cheesy Loops and malt balls. 769 00:38:05,247 --> 00:38:07,477 [Squealing] Redman the Robot! 770 00:38:07,549 --> 00:38:10,313 You got me Redman the Robot! Redman the Robot! 771 00:38:10,385 --> 00:38:13,377 We tried to buy it in the store and the guy said it was all sold out! 772 00:38:13,455 --> 00:38:17,186 We wanted to buy one for Ricky Falcone, but it was sold out! 773 00:38:17,259 --> 00:38:19,250 I got the last one. I bought the last one! 774 00:38:19,328 --> 00:38:21,626 Should we give it to Ricky Falcone? 775 00:38:21,697 --> 00:38:24,757 - No, let's keep it. - [ Laughing, Shouting ] 776 00:38:24,833 --> 00:38:26,733 - Whoo! - Dennis. 777 00:38:26,802 --> 00:38:28,736 - What? - For you. 778 00:38:28,804 --> 00:38:31,898 - What do you mean? - This is yours. 779 00:38:31,974 --> 00:38:34,238 - Read it. - This is a Lamborghini. 780 00:38:34,309 --> 00:38:35,936 Yeah. Countach. It's for you. 781 00:38:36,011 --> 00:38:38,571 - Don't mess with me, man. - Honest. It's out in the alleyway. 782 00:38:38,647 --> 00:38:41,207 - It's in the alley right now? - It's for you, Son. 783 00:38:44,152 --> 00:38:47,610 [Dennis ] Oh, my God. This is amazing! 784 00:38:47,689 --> 00:38:50,021 I feel so good doing this. It's, like, scary! 785 00:38:50,092 --> 00:38:52,890 Whoo-hoo! Guys! That's- That's my dream car! 786 00:38:52,961 --> 00:38:54,724 - You're giving me the Countach? - Yeah. 787 00:38:54,796 --> 00:38:58,254 - Oh, my God. That's amazing! - Look at the look on his face. 788 00:38:58,333 --> 00:39:00,699 This is awesome! This is an awesome Christmas, Frank! 789 00:39:00,769 --> 00:39:05,103 I just want you guys to know that Eugene and I, guys like us, we can change. 790 00:39:05,173 --> 00:39:08,506 Oh, yeah. Eugene, dude. Sorry we left you at the graveyard, man. 791 00:39:08,577 --> 00:39:10,602 Oh, yeah, about that-we didn't mean it. 792 00:39:10,679 --> 00:39:13,944 Ah, don't worry about that. [ Chuckling ] 793 00:39:14,016 --> 00:39:16,610 But, in the spirit of Christmas reparations... 794 00:39:16,685 --> 00:39:19,153 I have a little present for you, Frank. 795 00:39:19,221 --> 00:39:21,382 Aw, you didn't have to do that, Euge- 796 00:39:21,456 --> 00:39:23,617 - [ Hammer Cocks ] - Oh! 797 00:39:23,692 --> 00:39:27,788 - A gun! I love guns! I got a gun of my own! - Shut up! 798 00:39:27,863 --> 00:39:30,161 You stole a lot of money from me. 799 00:39:30,232 --> 00:39:32,166 You wrecked my career. 800 00:39:32,234 --> 00:39:36,898 You left me all alone to rot in a shit-hole apartment. 801 00:39:36,972 --> 00:39:39,406 Now it's time for payback! 802 00:39:39,474 --> 00:39:42,910 Now, put all those presents right here in front of me. 803 00:39:42,978 --> 00:39:44,411 - What? - These ones? 804 00:39:44,479 --> 00:39:46,413 - No! Oh, man! - Why us too? Why not just- 805 00:39:46,481 --> 00:39:49,678 - Come on! - Oh, man! I don't even know you, dude. 806 00:39:49,751 --> 00:39:51,946 Put the keys here too. I'm taking the car. 807 00:39:52,020 --> 00:39:53,749 [ Groans ] 808 00:39:53,822 --> 00:39:57,588 - What happened to all the God stuff? - I thought you had changed. 809 00:39:57,659 --> 00:40:00,958 - I'm still a liar and a thief. - [ All Gasping ] 810 00:40:01,029 --> 00:40:03,827 Now, I want to leave you all... 811 00:40:03,899 --> 00:40:06,834 with a memory of this wonderful yuletide season. 812 00:40:06,902 --> 00:40:10,338 Ah! How about... 813 00:40:10,405 --> 00:40:12,339 a white Christmas? 814 00:40:12,407 --> 00:40:15,843 - [Engine Sputtering, Droning] - Oh, you dumb bastard. That thing is broken. 815 00:40:15,911 --> 00:40:17,845 That ain't gonna work. 816 00:40:17,913 --> 00:40:20,279 Yeah, it's from the '70s, dick. It's not gonna work. 817 00:40:20,349 --> 00:40:22,442 - Really loud though. - Are you sure it doesn't work? 818 00:40:22,517 --> 00:40:26,385 There's a bunch more tweaks we had to do to it. Plus, you gotta hook it up to a water line- 819 00:40:28,190 --> 00:40:32,684 [Bing Crosby] � I'm dreaming� 820 00:40:32,761 --> 00:40:35,628 � Of a white � 821 00:40:35,697 --> 00:40:38,188 - � Christmas � - [ Slowed Down ] Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho! 822 00:40:39,501 --> 00:40:43,096 � With every Christmas card� 823 00:40:43,171 --> 00:40:46,368 � I write � 824 00:40:47,376 --> 00:40:49,571 � May your days � 825 00:40:49,644 --> 00:40:51,407 [ Laughing, Slowed Down ] 826 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,311 � Be merry � 827 00:40:53,382 --> 00:40:58,319 � And bright � 828 00:40:58,387 --> 00:41:01,379 - � And may all� - [ Slowed-down Laughing Continues ] 829 00:41:01,456 --> 00:41:05,790 � Your Christmases � 830 00:41:05,861 --> 00:41:09,194 � Be white �� 831 00:41:09,264 --> 00:41:10,060 [ Bells Jingling] 832 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,775 - I feel like that Eugene guy was a real prick, huh? - I know, yeah. 833 00:41:21,843 --> 00:41:23,777 Frank always said he was a scumbag. 834 00:41:23,845 --> 00:41:26,279 I was impressed with the snow blower though. 835 00:41:26,348 --> 00:41:28,282 I'm glad we don't have to return it. 836 00:41:28,350 --> 00:41:30,944 - I can't wait to blast the whole neighborhood. - Yeah, man. 837 00:41:31,019 --> 00:41:33,214 - Oh, here we go. - How you guys doing? You ready to do this? 838 00:41:33,288 --> 00:41:36,382 - What do we do? -Just throw rocks at trains. You're gonna feel better. 839 00:41:36,458 --> 00:41:38,085 - That's it? - That's it! Merry Christmas, everyone! 840 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,061 - Here we go! - Yeah! 841 00:41:41,129 --> 00:41:44,394 - � Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock � - [ Laughing ] 842 00:41:44,466 --> 00:41:48,368 - � Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring � - Stupid train! 843 00:41:48,437 --> 00:41:50,302 � Snowin' and blowin' up � 844 00:41:50,372 --> 00:41:52,738 - � Bushels of fun � - You suck! 845 00:41:52,808 --> 00:41:56,437 - � Now the jingle hop has begun � - Watch this one! 846 00:41:56,511 --> 00:42:00,003 � Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Jingle Bell Rock � 847 00:42:00,081 --> 00:42:03,050 � Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time � 848 00:42:03,118 --> 00:42:05,052 - Merry Christmas, buddy. - Merry Christmas. 849 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,647 � Dancin' and prancin' in Jingle Bell Square � 850 00:42:08,723 --> 00:42:11,817 � In the frosty air � 851 00:42:11,893 --> 00:42:16,830 � What a bright time It's the right time � 852 00:42:16,898 --> 00:42:19,833 � To rock the night away � 853 00:42:19,901 --> 00:42:24,338 � Jingle bell time is a swell time � 854 00:42:24,406 --> 00:42:28,342 � To go glidin' in a one-horse sleigh � 855 00:42:28,410 --> 00:42:32,346 � Giddyap, jingle horse Pick up your feet � 856 00:42:32,414 --> 00:42:36,851 � Jingle around the clock � 857 00:42:36,918 --> 00:42:40,877 � Mix and mingle in the jinglin ' feet � 858 00:42:40,956 --> 00:42:44,619 � That's the Jingle Bell Rock � 859 00:42:44,693 --> 00:42:48,857 � Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock � 860 00:42:48,930 --> 00:42:52,730 � Jingle bell chime in jingle bell time � 861 00:42:52,801 --> 00:42:56,168 � Dancin' and prancin ' in Jingle Bell Square � 862 00:42:57,839 --> 00:43:02,367 [ Man ] � To rock the night away �� 863 00:43:05,447 --> 00:43:08,382 [ Voices Speaking Backwards ] 864 00:43:09,447 --> 00:43:15,382 Prepared by Ikatiz. 865 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 866 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,123 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 867 00:43:19,173 --> 00:43:23,723 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 76933

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