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1
00:00:37,236 --> 00:00:39,658
- Hello Debbie.
- Hello Rodney.
2
00:00:42,241 --> 00:00:45,115
'Hello Debbie.' 'Hello Rodney!'
3
00:00:46,586 --> 00:00:47,632
Shut up will yer!
4
00:00:49,673 --> 00:00:52,381
- Hello darling.
- Been up to the hospital, love?
5
00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,180
Yeah, we just come back from
there now.
6
00:00:54,468 --> 00:00:55,455
How is he?
7
00:00:56,684 --> 00:00:59,786
Moaning! The doctors 'ave been
trying to take his hat off,
8
00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:01,344
but he wouldn't have none of it!
9
00:01:01,918 --> 00:01:03,514
They gave him an X-ray yesterday,
and they found out
10
00:01:03,681 --> 00:01:07,178
he got a pulled ligament in the
wallet, and severe fraying of the trilby!
11
00:01:08,876 --> 00:01:11,982
- Give him my love.
- Ooh, he ain't up to nothing like that!
12
00:01:22,554 --> 00:01:25,088
- This is awkward!
- What is?
13
00:01:25,573 --> 00:01:30,110
Well, I wanted to buy one of
my adult art magazines.
14
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,027
What's the problem?
15
00:01:32,402 --> 00:01:33,652
Debbie's serving!
16
00:01:36,662 --> 00:01:42,506
We've been seeing each other, sort of
thing! She might think I'm odd!
17
00:01:42,699 --> 00:01:47,572
- She's gonna find out sometime Rodney.
- Get it for us would you Del?
18
00:01:49,913 --> 00:01:53,205
- Alright, alright, Rodney!
- Cheers Del, you're a pal!
19
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,285
Here you are, darling, look Exchange and Mart,
20
00:01:57,504 --> 00:01:59,528
oh, give me one of yer dirty magazines
darling will you.
21
00:02:00,508 --> 00:02:01,578
Yeah, which one d'you want?
22
00:02:02,734 --> 00:02:04,066
Which one d'you want Rodney?
23
00:02:08,835 --> 00:02:10,059
Just the Exchange and Mart.
24
00:02:10,841 --> 00:02:14,996
'What one d'you want Rodney?'
I don't believe you sometimes!
25
00:02:15,277 --> 00:02:17,851
I wish I'd had my Polaroid
with me! You should've seen your face!
26
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:19,753
You've embarrassed me!
27
00:02:19,968 --> 00:02:22,033
I've embarrassed you!
28
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:25,152
Oh, it's alright for some bird to think
I'm a pervo though is it?
29
00:02:25,664 --> 00:02:27,379
You ain't taking her out, are you?
30
00:02:28,544 --> 00:02:32,446
- Don't know, I ain't made me mind up yet!
- Oh, listen to him, will you!
31
00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:42,006
- Hey, what's your game, eh?
- My Mum said she's gonna kill me!
32
00:02:42,307 --> 00:02:43,999
Well she won't need to will
she?
33
00:02:44,171 --> 00:02:45,772
You'll kill yourself
running across the road like that.
34
00:02:46,594 --> 00:02:48,515
No, haven't you ever heard of
the Green Cross Code?
35
00:02:49,274 --> 00:02:50,916
But I'm gonna get killed in a
minute!
36
00:02:51,094 --> 00:02:54,835
- No you're not. She's not gonna kill you!
- She said she was!
37
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:58,023
Yeah, I know, but mums say lots
of things they don't mean, don't they, eh?
38
00:02:59,121 --> 00:03:04,236
Here, tell you what. Here you are,
go and get yourself an ice-cream
39
00:03:04,405 --> 00:03:05,382
at the Paki's on the corner.
40
00:03:05,549 --> 00:03:07,259
Oh thanks mister...what about
my brother?
41
00:03:07,868 --> 00:03:14,131
- Ah, who's he?
- That's your brother is it?
42
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,086
You'd better get him one an'
all hadn't yer?
43
00:03:17,270 --> 00:03:18,009
Ta mister.
44
00:03:18,176 --> 00:03:20,714
Oi just a minute, why was your
Mum telling you off?
45
00:03:20,982 --> 00:03:22,885
I let down the tyres on that motor.
46
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:29,098
I'll kill you!
47
00:03:29,874 --> 00:03:32,038
Oh bloody hell Del, look at that.
48
00:03:37,589 --> 00:03:39,044
Little scallywags round here ain't they!
49
00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:42,269
Well it's nothing to laugh at
Del, I mean, look at it!
50
00:03:42,610 --> 00:03:44,190
Oh no, they're only kids
though ain't they?
51
00:03:44,569 --> 00:03:46,627
I used to do the same sort of thing when
I was a nipper.
52
00:03:47,254 --> 00:03:51,474
I remember me and Albie Littlewood we let a
couple of tyres down once.
53
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:56,443
Should have seen the palaver
it caused. Everyone had to get off the bus!
54
00:03:58,747 --> 00:04:03,890
They were the days! Still, I'll go round the
garage and get the foot pump for you.
55
00:04:04,196 --> 00:04:10,121
Yeah right. Oi, hold on what
d'you mean you'll get me the foot pump?
56
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:17,299
You ain't 'alf getting independent ain't yer?
Alright, go and get your on foot pump.
57
00:04:18,034 --> 00:04:19,288
That's more like it.
58
00:05:19,305 --> 00:05:23,300
- Alright Champ? What you doing?
- I'm running away from home.
59
00:05:24,806 --> 00:05:28,500
Running away from home are you?
Ain't got very far have you?
60
00:05:29,856 --> 00:05:32,103
My Mum said I mustn't cross the
road!
61
00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:40,356
That makes it difficult then
dunnit? Where's yer brother?
62
00:05:41,003 --> 00:05:42,809
His Dad says he has to go in.
63
00:05:45,710 --> 00:05:51,755
I see. Well I reckon that's the
best place for you to go an' all, don't you?
64
00:05:52,625 --> 00:05:54,285
She'll kill me!
65
00:05:54,971 --> 00:05:59,304
No she won't, listen, they were
my tyres that you let down weren't they?
66
00:06:00,538 --> 00:06:06,095
So I'll come home with you and I'll tell your Mum
that I asked you to let my tyres down
67
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:12,596
'cos I wanted to see how long it would take my
brother to pump 'em back up again! How's that?
68
00:06:13,047 --> 00:06:14,085
Alright then.
69
00:06:14,778 --> 00:06:20,559
There, good boy, see, you know
it makes sense! Come on then.
70
00:06:22,593 --> 00:06:25,930
You'd better get in 'cos the
bogey man will be coming soon.
71
00:06:27,469 --> 00:06:31,665
- I've seen the bogey man!
- Have you? What's he look like?
72
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:34,641
He's got a funny hat and wears
pyjamas under his mac!
73
00:06:35,387 --> 00:06:37,218
That's not the bogey man,
that's my Grandad!
74
00:06:41,288 --> 00:06:43,479
Right, come on then. Is this
it? This is your house?
75
00:06:43,645 --> 00:06:46,027
Is it? Right, now don't you worry.
76
00:06:46,241 --> 00:06:49,371
She'll be as sweet as a
nut, I'll guarantee. Just stay there.
77
00:06:52,239 --> 00:06:55,690
Where have you been? I was just
about to call the police.
78
00:06:56,103 --> 00:07:02,100
Look at the state of you. Go and put
your pyjamas on. I'll see you in a minute.
79
00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:03,621
Does that go for me an' all?
80
00:07:03,809 --> 00:07:09,619
- You what? Del? Cor, I don't believe it!
- Junie, how you doing?
81
00:07:09,858 --> 00:07:13,299
- I'm fine!
- Oh great.
82
00:07:13,655 --> 00:07:15,973
You don't still live on the
estate, do you?
83
00:07:16,294 --> 00:07:19,149
Well yeah, over the way there,
you know Nelson Mandela House.
84
00:07:19,327 --> 00:07:20,593
Here when d'you move in here?
85
00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:26,755
Six weeks ago, there don't stand out there, people'll
think you're the tallyman. Come in.
86
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,553
Right. 'Ere hang about. What
about the old man?
87
00:07:30,049 --> 00:07:31,579
Erh, he's gone away for a bit.
88
00:07:31,888 --> 00:07:34,339
Oh gone away for a bit. Anyone
we know?
89
00:07:38,498 --> 00:07:42,054
He's soundo already. Didn't
even want a bedtime story tonight.
90
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:44,467
He's a little scallywag ain't he?
91
00:07:44,678 --> 00:07:47,856
Ooh, he's a right handful!
D'you know what he did today?
92
00:07:48,166 --> 00:07:52,864
He only let the tyres down on
some crappy three-wheeled van over there!
93
00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:56,004
- Yeah?
- I think he misses his Dad!
94
00:07:56,336 --> 00:08:00,177
Yeah, I used to miss my Dad -
till I learnt to punch straight!
95
00:08:01,477 --> 00:08:02,686
When's the old man
get out?
96
00:08:02,888 --> 00:08:06,234
Oh, he's not in prison Del!
No, he works on an oil-rig.
97
00:08:06,450 --> 00:08:08,429
Oh I see! When are you
expecting him back then?
98
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,503
About six months if he keeps
his nose clean.
99
00:08:13,684 --> 00:08:18,315
I'd have popped over and seen you, but I didn't think for
one minute you'd still be living here!
100
00:08:18,704 --> 00:08:22,296
D'you remember what you used to say to me all
those years ago?
101
00:08:22,510 --> 00:08:24,822
I can remember quite a lot of
funny things I used to say to you!!!
102
00:08:25,693 --> 00:08:31,337
I don't mean 'that'! You used to say,
'This time next year I'll be a millionaire!'
103
00:08:31,957 --> 00:08:35,998
Did I? What a wally!
104
00:08:38,488 --> 00:08:42,231
Well, we were much younger then weren't
we, I mean, anything seemed possible in them days.
105
00:08:42,644 --> 00:08:46,566
'Ere, 'ere, how long ago was it that, you know, you and I,
well, we stopped seeing each other?
106
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:51,972
- Must be...19 years now!
- 19 - 19 years!
107
00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:54,009
It's longer than that in fact.
108
00:08:54,625 --> 00:09:00,382
We broke up in September 1965.
Just after Albie Littlewood's funeral.
109
00:09:00,906 --> 00:09:04,867
That's right! Yeah, that's right, cor, we were a right
little team up till then, weren't we?
110
00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:10,455
What, the famous four! You and
me, Albie and...what was his girlfriend's name?
111
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,318
- Deirdre.
- That's it, Deirdre .
112
00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:16,516
Do you know I often
wondered what would have happened
113
00:09:16,753 --> 00:09:19,103
if he hadn't been coming over to see me that
night.
114
00:09:19,599 --> 00:09:22,315
You know, if he hadn't taken the short cut across the
railway lines,
115
00:09:25,406 --> 00:09:28,167
if his bike hadn't accidentally
fallen on the live rail.
116
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,548
I mean what's the point of
talking about ifs!
117
00:09:31,799 --> 00:09:34,903
If me brother had been a bird he
would have been me sister, wouldn't he, eh?
118
00:09:36,357 --> 00:09:39,840
Oh you had a kid brother!
Rodney. How is he?
119
00:09:40,059 --> 00:09:42,427
Oh, he's alright. He's just
reached that awkward age.
120
00:09:42,636 --> 00:09:43,999
You know he's a bit like a triffle!
121
00:09:44,196 --> 00:09:47,049
- What d'you mean, mixed up?
- No, no, he's thick and fruity!
122
00:09:49,525 --> 00:09:51,656
Oh and what about your Grandad?
123
00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:54,537
Oh Grandad, well, he's not too
fit at the moment,
124
00:09:54,756 --> 00:09:58,054
he's laid up in Dock but I sometimes
think you know given half a chance
125
00:09:58,226 --> 00:09:59,929
he could be thick and
fruity an' all.
126
00:10:00,911 --> 00:10:02,696
I take it you never got
married!
127
00:10:03,564 --> 00:10:06,869
Me, no, no, no, I just get
engaged!
128
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,679
'Ere, talking about
that...you still got my engagement ring?
129
00:10:09,997 --> 00:10:12,603
Yeah, you don't want it back
do you?
130
00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:16,202
No, no, no, I - you know I was
just wondering that was all!
131
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,417
No, I was just wondering like,
'cos you know,
132
00:10:18,602 --> 00:10:23,007
I - I could always whip over home and get
my Sheena Easton LP, if you like!
133
00:10:24,545 --> 00:10:28,744
Not much point, I haven't got
a record player!
134
00:10:29,422 --> 00:10:32,471
Oh, I'll have to keep my eye
open for one! For you, won't I, eh?
135
00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:36,256
Don't worry, you leave it
to me, alright?
136
00:10:36,465 --> 00:10:45,850
Oh Del. Oh! 'Ere Del, help
yourself to a drink.
137
00:10:46,186 --> 00:10:48,140
Yeah, thanks Junie.
138
00:10:52,095 --> 00:10:53,702
Oh come in love.
139
00:10:55,010 --> 00:10:57,168
It's alright. It's a friend of
my daughter's.
140
00:10:58,748 --> 00:11:04,993
Debs, it's for you! She's got that bloody
radio on again, she'll wake Jason!
141
00:11:55,925 --> 00:12:01,369
- You little plonker!
- What are you doing here?
142
00:12:01,574 --> 00:12:03,583
What am I doing...What are you
doing here?
143
00:12:03,839 --> 00:12:06,383
Well, this is where Debbie lives, ain't it?
That bird from the paper...
144
00:12:07,044 --> 00:12:07,984
'Ere - 'ere
you're not trying to...
145
00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:11,200
No I am not! Leave it out, I'm
a friend of her Mum's!
146
00:12:11,486 --> 00:12:15,754
- Yeah, when d'you meet her then?
- 1964
147
00:12:17,399 --> 00:12:19,351
What and you've only just come
round to see her?
148
00:12:22,321 --> 00:12:25,144
No, I was engaged to her, soppy!
149
00:12:25,794 --> 00:12:27,246
What, another one!
150
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:31,513
Stone me Del, you've been engaged more
times than a switchboard ain't yer!
151
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,172
Don't you start getting lippy.
152
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,802
I don't know what you brought that round for,
'Cos they ain't got a record player!
153
00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:40,153
That's alright, I ain't got a
record!
154
00:12:41,518 --> 00:12:43,400
You are a saucy little git you
really...
155
00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:47,131
Oi, I've got one of those at
home on the sideboard!
156
00:12:47,602 --> 00:12:49,937
Yeah alright, well I'll get
you another one tomorrow, wont I!
157
00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:56,581
Yeah you better...Junie, June, you'll never
guess who that is? That is little Rodney!
158
00:12:57,053 --> 00:12:58,817
- You're kidding!!
- No, straight up!
159
00:12:59,148 --> 00:13:05,263
I don't believe it! The last time I saw you,
you were about that high! How old was he Del?
160
00:13:05,637 --> 00:13:07,026
Then, about two and 'alf!
161
00:13:10,627 --> 00:13:13,952
Anyway it's very nice to meet
you again Rodney.
162
00:13:14,257 --> 00:13:15,271
And you...
163
00:13:15,757 --> 00:13:17,135
Ma'm.
164
00:13:19,243 --> 00:13:22,975
Leave it out Rodney, you're
making me feel quite Tom and Dick you really are.
165
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:26,039
- You can call me June.
- Oh thank you.
166
00:13:26,516 --> 00:13:29,493
Debbie won't be a minute, she's
just putting some clothes on.
167
00:13:29,745 --> 00:13:32,030
- Oh she needn't bother!
- What??
168
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,998
No, no, no, I mean, you know,
she needn't bother to put on anything special.
169
00:13:38,661 --> 00:13:43,434
I was thinking actually...er...if you
two wanted to go out and you know
170
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:49,039
chat about old times and all that, well you know I'm sure
me and Debbie wouldn't mind baby-sitting.
171
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,474
What d'you think Del?
172
00:13:52,681 --> 00:13:57,397
I daren't tell you what I think Junie!
Come on let's go out for a drink! Shall we?
173
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,454
- Hello Rodney.
- Debs!
174
00:14:01,747 --> 00:14:03,741
- You alright darling?
- Oh watcha.
175
00:14:04,119 --> 00:14:05,049
You two met?
176
00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:08,044
Yeah, he came in the paper
shop this morning for a dirty magazine.
177
00:14:08,457 --> 00:14:10,906
'Ere no, actually...listen...
178
00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:13,760
Er, I was just saying you and me
wouldn't mind baby-sitting
179
00:14:13,965 --> 00:14:15,490
if Del and yer Mum went out for a drink!
180
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:18,289
- Yeah, that suits me.
- I'll get my coat.
181
00:14:18,486 --> 00:14:19,873
Yeah alight, darling.
182
00:14:21,855 --> 00:14:25,951
'Ere I'd do that up if I was you,
you'll get a cold on yer chest!
183
00:14:26,706 --> 00:14:31,816
It's Debbie's house, she can do
what she likes. Do you want a brandy Debs?
184
00:14:32,197 --> 00:14:36,298
- Brandy eh? You're splashing out ain't yer?
- Yeah well of course he's celebrating ain't he?
185
00:14:36,906 --> 00:14:38,027
Celebrating what?
186
00:14:38,697 --> 00:14:39,646
Oh, hasn't he told you?
187
00:14:39,869 --> 00:14:41,943
He's ust heard from the clinic!
He's got an all clear.
188
00:14:51,154 --> 00:14:54,421
- Well, there you go. Old times, eh?
- Old times.
189
00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,728
'Ere , Junie, I hope you don't
mind me asking,
190
00:14:58,928 --> 00:15:00,576
but there's always been something that's
been bothering me.
191
00:15:01,206 --> 00:15:04,222
Look, if it's something from
the past let's leave it.
192
00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:08,196
No, no, it's just that I always wondered
why it was that you left so suddenly like that?
193
00:15:08,372 --> 00:15:10,014
Without a letter, a word, or
nothing!
194
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:14,203
It's personal Del! All over
and done with now, right?
195
00:15:14,882 --> 00:15:16,925
Can we talk about something
happier?
196
00:15:17,157 --> 00:15:20,511
Yeah, of course! What they put
your ol' man in prison for?
197
00:15:21,632 --> 00:15:27,255
- He stole some watches.
- Oh I see! Ain't still got 'em have you?
198
00:15:28,755 --> 00:15:30,720
We're getting a divorce when
he comes out.
199
00:15:31,159 --> 00:15:33,370
The marriage
never worked right from the start.
200
00:15:33,703 --> 00:15:35,846
Oh, I don't know! It seemed to
have lasted quite a while!
201
00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:39,168
Oh no, we've only been married
seven years!
202
00:15:39,488 --> 00:15:43,244
Seven years?? But no Debbie.
She must be...Oh I'm sorry!
203
00:15:43,929 --> 00:15:45,590
He's not Debbie's father.
204
00:15:45,823 --> 00:15:47,442
No, no, sorry I didn't mean,
you know! I wasn't trying to...
205
00:15:47,669 --> 00:15:52,767
'Ere, it's her birthday next week. We're gonna have
a little party. D'you fancy coming?
206
00:15:52,955 --> 00:15:54,754
Yeah, not half, I'll have some
of that!
207
00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:57,611
'Ere, I'll have to get that record player
for you a bit lively won't I?
208
00:15:57,849 --> 00:15:59,002
Oh yes.
209
00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:00,255
'Ere what do you want? Another
one, or same again.
210
00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:01,944
Oh, I'd love another one. Same
again.
211
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,730
- Here you go Del.
- Cheers Trig.
212
00:16:06,780 --> 00:16:10,131
'Ere you are, Maureen, same again love,
that's a Singapore Sling and half of Strongbow.
213
00:16:10,499 --> 00:16:11,575
Coming up.
214
00:16:12,655 --> 00:16:13,942
What you up to Mickey?
215
00:16:14,325 --> 00:16:18,009
I've just come back from
evening school. I'm learning Aikido.
216
00:16:18,337 --> 00:16:21,121
Really? Go on then, say something.
217
00:16:23,915 --> 00:16:25,623
Say something in Aikido.
218
00:16:26,049 --> 00:16:28,750
No, it's not a language Del.
It's a martial art!
219
00:16:29,245 --> 00:16:31,324
I had a fight
with five blokes last night!
220
00:16:31,643 --> 00:16:33,031
What was it, a pillow fight?
221
00:16:33,974 --> 00:16:35,488
Leave it out you ain't got a
mark on you son!
222
00:16:35,756 --> 00:16:38,031
That's because I wiped 'em out
with Aikido.
223
00:16:45,562 --> 00:16:50,223
Can you smell that? What is
that? Sheep is it? It's cows?
224
00:16:50,832 --> 00:16:53,528
No, no, I know what it is.
It's bullshit!
225
00:16:56,158 --> 00:16:57,672
I'm telling you the truth Del!
226
00:16:57,991 --> 00:17:00,203
Leave it out Mickey. I can
always tell when you're lying.
227
00:17:00,465 --> 00:17:01,106
How?
228
00:17:01,348 --> 00:17:05,831
Yer lips move! 'Ere you are,
love. How much is that?
229
00:17:06,576 --> 00:17:09,290
- Right cheers.
- Cheers. Where's Rodney tonight?
230
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:11,343
Rodney? He's round at that
young Debbie's place.
231
00:17:12,926 --> 00:17:15,667
Well I don't know what he sees
in her! I mean, she's just a kid ain't she!
232
00:17:16,653 --> 00:17:18,755
She's 19 next week mouthy!
233
00:17:19,089 --> 00:17:21,179
What about your 19th birthday
Mickey?
234
00:17:21,420 --> 00:17:22,287
What about it?
235
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,131
Well, you looking forward to
it are you?
236
00:17:28,476 --> 00:17:33,911
19, 'ere just a minute that
Debbie. That young Debbie, she can't be 19!
237
00:17:34,168 --> 00:17:36,300
She's 19 next Wednesday, Del.
238
00:17:36,599 --> 00:17:40,202
Yeah, tell you what, I've got
an invitation to her 19th birthday party.
239
00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:44,082
- That's impossible!
- What's the matter with you Del?
240
00:17:44,549 --> 00:17:47,019
19 an 'alf years ago, me and
Debbie's Mum...
241
00:17:50,541 --> 00:17:55,828
- Oh my Gawd!
- What are you talking about Del?
242
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:57,359
What are you talking about?
243
00:17:57,611 --> 00:18:02,474
No, no, no, nothing! No it's
alright, no, forget it. Just no - forget it.
244
00:18:08,548 --> 00:18:13,973
Junie... Junie, I know why you left
so suddently all them years ago!
245
00:18:15,822 --> 00:18:22,375
- Do you?
- Pot pourri...Why didn't you tell me?
246
00:18:22,817 --> 00:18:26,659
I couldn't. I didn't know how
you'd take the news.
247
00:18:30,047 --> 00:18:31,624
I'm just going to the bog.
248
00:18:38,844 --> 00:18:39,922
Alright Del Boy?
249
00:18:40,109 --> 00:18:43,510
No, I'm not alright Trigger! I
don't know what I'm gonna do!
250
00:18:43,885 --> 00:18:45,694
I just don't know what I'm
gonna do!
251
00:18:47,272 --> 00:18:48,761
Hang on Del Boy, leave it to me!
252
00:18:50,323 --> 00:18:53,166
Come on hurry up, we've got an
emergency out here!
253
00:18:53,556 --> 00:18:57,387
No, no, no, not that Trigger!!
Come here. Listen to me.
254
00:18:57,926 --> 00:19:01,325
D'you remember about 20 years ago, I
was - I was engaged to that bird right.
255
00:19:01,594 --> 00:19:04,492
What June? Yeah, I remember
her! She's back on the estate now.
256
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:07,965
That's right. Well she's got a
- she's got a 19-year-old kid.
257
00:19:08,345 --> 00:19:10,548
Yeah, Debbie, works in the
paper shop. So what?
258
00:19:10,727 --> 00:19:15,168
So what? Me and June broke up
about 19 an' 'alf years ago right.
259
00:19:15,838 --> 00:19:22,487
That means that she was expecting her at the time!
Which means Debbie is my kid!
260
00:19:23,311 --> 00:19:24,843
But she's a pretty girl!
261
00:19:26,908 --> 00:19:31,890
Of course she is! I mean, look ,
that' a chip off the old block, ain't it, eh?
262
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:35,684
Didn't June say nothing to you
at the time?
263
00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:37,976
- No, not a dicky bird!
- You sure Del?
264
00:19:38,239 --> 00:19:40,892
Well, I would have remembered
something like that Trigger, wouldn't I?
265
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,633
I mean, you sure she's your kid?
266
00:19:42,857 --> 00:19:45,994
Yeah, she's gotta be, I mean...
she's gotta be!
267
00:19:46,827 --> 00:19:49,527
'Ere, the little cow short-
changed me the other day!
268
00:19:50,401 --> 00:19:54,442
- Well that is it then innit?
- You told the rest of the family?
269
00:19:54,617 --> 00:19:56,511
No, no, I've only just found
out meself!
270
00:19:56,677 --> 00:20:01,409
Gawd knows what Grandad and Rodney are gonna
say when they...Rodney!!
271
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:21,602
- Put her down Rodney!
- You're back early ain't yer?
272
00:20:21,836 --> 00:20:25,736
Yeah, ain't we just, eh? I'm
going to bed Del!
273
00:20:26,071 --> 00:20:27,928
No listen, June we've gotta talk.
274
00:20:28,112 --> 00:20:34,876
Look, I knew this was how you'd behave, that's why I
didn't tell you! I'll see you around sometime...
275
00:20:35,163 --> 00:20:37,335
- No listen, June.
- Maybe!
276
00:20:37,514 --> 00:20:38,868
Look we've gotta talk...
277
00:20:41,094 --> 00:20:43,488
You've made another lasting
impression I see!
278
00:20:44,693 --> 00:20:47,305
Come on and get up out of
there, come on. Give Debbie some air.
279
00:20:47,466 --> 00:20:48,582
The poor girl can't
breathe.
280
00:20:48,759 --> 00:20:50,942
Yeah, alright! You want another
brandy Deb?
281
00:20:51,113 --> 00:20:54,369
- No she don't!
- I'll make my own decision thank you.
282
00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:59,385
Yes, of course! Of course, it's just that if you have too
much to drink you might make yourself sick!
283
00:20:59,547 --> 00:21:01,851
And you don't
wanna be ill for yer party next week.
284
00:21:02,192 --> 00:21:04,063
It's Debbie's birthday next
week, Rodney.
285
00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:06,711
Yeah, I thought it was mine
tonight!
286
00:21:08,997 --> 00:21:12,465
I'll get you a nice present
shall I - dear?
287
00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:17,412
I'll get you a solid gold watch, eh?
A couple of hundred quid at least, no rubbish!
288
00:21:19,081 --> 00:21:21,462
- Alright!
- What's your game Del?
289
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:29,204
Just feeling generous that's all.
Come on, Rodney I'll give you a lift home, come on.
290
00:21:29,360 --> 00:21:32,603
Give me - Del, we only live 50
yards across the precinct!
291
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,748
I know that - I know, but when
I came back tonight
292
00:21:34,912 --> 00:21:36,766
there was
a load of muggers hanging about!
293
00:21:37,098 --> 00:21:38,484
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
294
00:21:40,944 --> 00:21:42,906
Well perhaps I'd better go
Debs - I've gotta be up early!
295
00:21:43,633 --> 00:21:44,723
Alright then...
296
00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:53,241
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight...Pleasant dreams.
297
00:22:02,423 --> 00:22:04,897
- Well, goodnight Debs.
- Goodnight.
298
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:06,678
Come on Rodney!
299
00:22:10,835 --> 00:22:12,334
Now just what is your game
Del?
300
00:22:12,513 --> 00:22:16,873
All that, 'Shall I buy you a nice gold watch shall I,
dear?' And 'Sweet Dreams!'
301
00:22:17,717 --> 00:22:19,618
I was just being friendly,
that's all!
302
00:22:19,784 --> 00:22:20,956
You're trying to pull her
ain't yer?
303
00:22:21,109 --> 00:22:22,819
I am not trying to pull her!
304
00:22:23,335 --> 00:22:25,327
What d'you think I am, some
kind of sicko or something?
305
00:22:25,716 --> 00:22:27,928
Well, you're trying to interfere between
me and Debbie ain't yer?
306
00:22:28,074 --> 00:22:32,001
I am not trying to interfere,
Rodney. Now listen. Rodney, look, I just...
307
00:22:32,287 --> 00:22:35,412
I don't think that you two are...'right' for
each other!
308
00:22:35,583 --> 00:22:36,988
It's got nothing to do with
you!
309
00:22:37,729 --> 00:22:40,183
Me and Debbie think we're right for each other!
310
00:22:41,116 --> 00:22:43,381
As a matter of fact we're thinking
of getting engaged!
311
00:22:43,694 --> 00:22:48,931
You're what? You can't get
engaged to her Rodney.
312
00:22:49,106 --> 00:22:53,763
No, what I mean - what I mean is,
what I mean is you're too young!
313
00:22:54,029 --> 00:22:57,087
I'm 24 Del! By the time you
was my age
314
00:22:57,253 --> 00:23:03,654
you'd been engaged to every bird this side of the
water! No, you're just jealous ain't yer?
315
00:23:03,803 --> 00:23:06,961
You can't stand the
thought that I might end up with a nice little wife.
316
00:23:09,913 --> 00:23:12,914
You're gonna end up with a nice
little stretch if you ain't careful!
317
00:23:13,955 --> 00:23:16,186
Rodney, you mustn't
get engaged to her!
318
00:23:16,571 --> 00:23:18,719
You give me one good reason
why I mustn't??
319
00:23:19,657 --> 00:23:21,884
Because she's my daughter!
320
00:23:27,366 --> 00:23:28,645
That's why!
321
00:23:36,006 --> 00:23:38,057
- Debbie - is - your - daughter?
- Yeah!
322
00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:43,853
No. It's not real! No, it's
not happening to me!
323
00:23:44,024 --> 00:23:47,067
I'll tell you what, I'm in the middle of
a bad trip! I'm gonna wake up in a minute!
324
00:23:47,492 --> 00:23:50,511
I've worked it out on the
calculator Rodney!
325
00:23:51,928 --> 00:23:57,142
Me and June broke up 19 and 'alf years
ago. It's Debbie's 19th birthday next week!
326
00:23:57,422 --> 00:24:00,785
You're the one with the GCE in Maths, you
work it out yourself!
327
00:24:02,736 --> 00:24:04,864
Well maybe she met someone
after you!
328
00:24:05,114 --> 00:24:07,232
No, she was born a couple of
months after!
329
00:24:07,547 --> 00:24:08,943
Well then she was premature!
330
00:24:09,130 --> 00:24:12,288
Premature?? She'd have had to
have been bloody instant, Rodders!
331
00:24:15,519 --> 00:24:17,026
But - she's a pretty girl!
332
00:24:20,266 --> 00:24:29,643
I know that - I can see Mum in
her! Come on...cheer up Rodney.
333
00:24:30,657 --> 00:24:37,503
Cheer up?? Del I've just met the first girl
in my life who really means something to me,
334
00:24:37,682 --> 00:24:40,121
and it turns out to be my
bloody niece!
335
00:24:44,976 --> 00:24:50,054
Alright, Rodney. Come on,
that's why I had to tell you, you see,
336
00:24:50,997 --> 00:24:58,096
'cos this sort of thing ain't allowed - it's...
well, it's incense!
337
00:25:03,943 --> 00:25:09,573
Say you had got married to her - you can see
what sort of confusion that would have led to,
338
00:25:10,096 --> 00:25:12,026
I would have been
your father-in-law!
339
00:25:13,629 --> 00:25:14,819
Bloody hell!
340
00:25:14,982 --> 00:25:19,853
Yer mother-in-law would have been yer aunt,
yer wife would have been yer second cousin -
341
00:25:20,808 --> 00:25:24,596
Gawd knows what that would have made Grandad,
the fairy godmother I should think.
342
00:25:26,229 --> 00:25:29,498
Del, are you absolutely
certain of this?
343
00:25:29,835 --> 00:25:34,520
Yeah, well, certain as I'll
ever be. Just think eh, Rodney,
344
00:25:35,598 --> 00:25:43,822
young Debbie has grown up all these years
'an she never never knew that - I was her Daddy!
345
00:25:46,105 --> 00:25:47,679
Do you think
I ought to tell her?
346
00:25:47,976 --> 00:25:53,219
Eh, no, no, that could come as
a great disap...great shock.
347
00:25:54,057 --> 00:25:55,383
No perhaps you're right!
348
00:25:56,626 --> 00:25:58,363
- Could you do something for me Del?
- Yeah sure.
349
00:25:59,522 --> 00:26:00,952
You go and see June.
350
00:26:02,166 --> 00:26:06,827
You go and see her and you find
out if it's definite -definitely definite!
351
00:26:07,612 --> 00:26:11,333
Yeah, tomorrow - I definitely
promise!
352
00:26:14,635 --> 00:26:20,396
Well I'm going to bed. I bet
I'll have a nightmare!
353
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,211
I bet I'll have a nightmare where my
wife keeps calling me Uncle Rodney, eh?
354
00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:35,030
Alright Del, you've got five
minutes! Say what you have to say and then go!
355
00:26:35,203 --> 00:26:36,800
Is Debbie in?
356
00:26:36,974 --> 00:26:39,453
No, she - she's gone over her
Auntie's.
357
00:26:39,905 --> 00:26:43,081
Look, if you've come here to dig up the past again,
you can forget it!
358
00:26:43,257 --> 00:26:45,573
Come on Junie, there are
things that have got to be discussed!
359
00:26:45,750 --> 00:26:48,703
- What sort of things?
- Look Junie! I know!
360
00:26:48,893 --> 00:26:51,023
So you said last night!
361
00:26:51,513 --> 00:26:54,290
- Well then? Are you gonna tell her or shall I?
- Tell her what?
362
00:26:54,457 --> 00:26:57,204
Oh come on, June. Don't play
the innocent with me.
363
00:26:57,383 --> 00:27:00,162
Tell her - that I am her father!
364
00:27:02,856 --> 00:27:04,476
You're her...
365
00:27:05,824 --> 00:27:16,603
Oh Del! When you said you knew, I thought you
really knew! Debby's not your kid.
366
00:27:18,585 --> 00:27:25,656
Yes she is. No, come on, she
was born six months after we broke up!
367
00:27:26,131 --> 00:27:29,484
Well she's gotta be - I mean, if I'm not her
father, then who is??
368
00:27:32,915 --> 00:27:34,850
Albie Littlewood!
369
00:27:38,318 --> 00:27:48,706
Albie Littlewood? Albie
Littlewood? My bestest friend in all the world?
370
00:27:50,426 --> 00:27:57,860
The greatest pal a bloke could have, and
all the time he was doinking my bird?
371
00:27:59,453 --> 00:28:01,292
That's why I left!
372
00:28:03,299 --> 00:28:06,076
How could he do it to me? We
were blood-brothers!
373
00:28:06,718 --> 00:28:10,945
We were just kids - we were
just playing games.
374
00:28:11,909 --> 00:28:17,289
That night he died on the railway lines -
he wasn't coming to meet you in the pub.
375
00:28:18,075 --> 00:28:19,902
He was coming to
meet me!
376
00:28:20,818 --> 00:28:24,062
For nigh on 20 years I've
carried that guilt around with me,
377
00:28:25,636 --> 00:28:29,191
it's hung round my neck
like some great two-ton medallion!
378
00:28:29,428 --> 00:28:36,100
Well, well, now you're free of it ain't you?
Albie didn't take the short-cut for you.
379
00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:38,570
It's not the only reason why I
was feeling guilty!
380
00:28:39,358 --> 00:28:43,630
'Cos if he had made it across the railway lines
that night he wouldn't have met me in the pub!
381
00:28:44,895 --> 00:28:49,625
I wasn't in the pub! I was round at his bird
Deirdre's place!
382
00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:52,792
You were with Deirdre??
383
00:28:53,072 --> 00:28:59,330
It's alright, June. We were
only playing games, only playing games.
384
00:28:59,898 --> 00:29:02,912
Why you dirty little toe-rag.
385
00:29:03,809 --> 00:29:05,472
- Hello Mum.
- Hello love.
386
00:29:05,837 --> 00:29:08,622
I've brought Mickey back,
we're going to my room to listen to the radio.
387
00:29:09,612 --> 00:29:12,748
Good evening young Michael! Alright?
388
00:29:14,366 --> 00:29:17,600
Watchya Del! I just met Debbie
walking across the estate.
389
00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:19,887
So I thought I'd better make
sure she got home safely.
390
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:23,385
Yes! So you thought you'd
escort the young lady back to her bedroom.
391
00:29:26,328 --> 00:29:33,450
Yeah, I know Mickey, I know only too well
my son! Goodnight to you all!
392
00:29:33,912 --> 00:29:38,421
Oh Mickey, make sure you don't
take the short cut across the railway line.
393
00:29:43,284 --> 00:29:46,704
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394
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