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1
00:00:02,553 --> 00:00:05,321
Wait, what's going on, Andy?
2
00:00:05,362 --> 00:00:06,883
It's time for you to go.
3
00:00:06,885 --> 00:00:07,992
What are you talking about?!
4
00:00:07,994 --> 00:00:09,467
You said I could stay a few days.
5
00:00:09,469 --> 00:00:11,459
Yeah, a few days is a few days.
6
00:00:11,461 --> 00:00:13,266
You've been here for two weeks.
7
00:00:13,325 --> 00:00:15,632
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Where am I supposed to go, Andy?
8
00:00:15,633 --> 00:00:17,766
That's not my problem. I've done my part.
9
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:19,094
Oh, come on, man!
10
00:00:19,096 --> 00:00:21,266
I thought you... I thought we were friends.
11
00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:23,166
It's not even you, it's Tess.
12
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:25,532
She has trouble being sexually intimate
13
00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:27,586
- when there's someone else in the house.
- Oh, my God!
14
00:00:27,602 --> 00:00:29,664
Could you not put that image in my head?
15
00:00:29,666 --> 00:00:32,299
I mean, I'm trying to
stay sober here, you know?
16
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:35,317
Yeah, you know, let me give you a
little advice, Marc... it's life advice.
17
00:00:35,319 --> 00:00:38,066
Traditionally, when people help you,
18
00:00:38,067 --> 00:00:39,499
you're supposed to say, "Thank you."
19
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,111
Mm-hmm. Here.
20
00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,266
I'll give you a little life advice, Andy.
21
00:00:43,306 --> 00:00:44,904
Lose the oversize shirts.
22
00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:46,758
They're not working for you anymore.
23
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:51,432
- Thanks. Thank you very much.
- Sure, fatty. Yeah.
24
00:00:51,533 --> 00:00:52,769
We're free!
25
00:00:52,771 --> 00:00:55,749
["The Poisoned Well" plays]
26
00:00:56,277 --> 00:00:57,896
All: Keep coming back.
27
00:00:57,898 --> 00:01:00,697
It works if you work it, so work it...
28
00:01:00,763 --> 00:01:02,296
you're worth it.
29
00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:06,263
30
00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:19,732
What's up, big daddy?
31
00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:20,898
How you feeling, man?
32
00:01:20,970 --> 00:01:22,276
Hey, I saw you throw your hand up earlier.
33
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,031
You looking for a sponsor?
34
00:01:24,086 --> 00:01:25,759
Uh, you know, I'm just coming back in.
35
00:01:25,791 --> 00:01:27,701
Yeah, I had 16 years, went out...
36
00:01:27,776 --> 00:01:30,510
It's cool, man. Don't worry about
it. Uh, I'll be your sponsor.
37
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,592
I'm Chuck.
38
00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:34,199
- Ah!
- Okay!
39
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,551
But my boys call me "the boss."
40
00:01:36,606 --> 00:01:39,366
Boys, big daddy!
41
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,032
Hey.
42
00:01:41,213 --> 00:01:43,366
Sobriety's a blast, man.
43
00:01:43,367 --> 00:01:45,632
All right, well, you know,
I'm... I'm sort of, uh,
44
00:01:45,633 --> 00:01:48,445
talking to another dude,
so, you know, I'm...
45
00:01:48,447 --> 00:01:49,266
I'm gonna...
46
00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:52,050
- I get it, man. You're scared.
- Yeah.
47
00:01:52,081 --> 00:01:53,766
But you want to know what fear is?
48
00:01:53,884 --> 00:01:56,866
False evidence appearing real.
49
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,799
Yeah, yeah, I've heard that one.
50
00:01:58,800 --> 00:01:59,884
Oh.
51
00:01:59,931 --> 00:02:02,111
Well, apparently, you've got
all the answers, then, man.
52
00:02:02,142 --> 00:02:05,199
I don't know, man. You're the boss.
53
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,083
Gentlemen...
54
00:02:07,114 --> 00:02:08,614
it's taco time.
55
00:02:09,747 --> 00:02:10,929
Fonzie.
56
00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:14,464
All right.
57
00:02:16,938 --> 00:02:18,812
Whoa. Marc Maron.
58
00:02:18,843 --> 00:02:21,032
- Hey, how you doing, man?
- Hey.
59
00:02:21,111 --> 00:02:23,832
Hey, I saw you raised
your hand at newcomer time.
60
00:02:23,891 --> 00:02:25,732
There's no shame in that game.
61
00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:27,466
You need a sponsor, right?
62
00:02:27,467 --> 00:02:29,200
Uh, I don't know. I guess.
63
00:02:29,202 --> 00:02:32,297
Well, we can call it a
temporary sponsorship for now.
64
00:02:32,343 --> 00:02:34,999
You know, we'll try it
out, take it for a spin,
65
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,066
see how she takes the corners.
66
00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:39,326
Mm-hmm.
67
00:02:39,328 --> 00:02:42,280
Well, actually, I'm...
I'm just trying, you know,
68
00:02:42,282 --> 00:02:45,610
to get back in the swing
of things, so, you know...
69
00:02:45,612 --> 00:02:49,279
Cool. [Chuckles]
70
00:02:49,281 --> 00:02:51,112
This whole deal must be weird for you.
71
00:02:51,114 --> 00:02:52,732
Hey, I'm a big fan, by the way.
72
00:02:52,788 --> 00:02:54,099
Actually, well,
73
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,836
you probably hear this all the time,
74
00:02:55,890 --> 00:02:58,422
but, uh, I do a podcast myself.
75
00:02:58,433 --> 00:02:59,632
- Hmm.
- Oh, actually,
76
00:02:59,633 --> 00:03:01,824
I just realized I have a recording of it.
77
00:03:01,854 --> 00:03:03,875
It's called "Podcast Podcast."
78
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,234
Remember like the old commercial
79
00:03:05,290 --> 00:03:07,416
where the little guy would
come out and say "pizza pizza"?
80
00:03:07,418 --> 00:03:09,959
[Chuckles] Did I mention I do comedy, too?
81
00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:13,311
Uh-huh. All right. I think
I'm gonna eat this cookie now.
82
00:03:13,422 --> 00:03:14,577
Cool.
83
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,991
Wait, I didn't get your number.
84
00:03:17,053 --> 00:03:17,886
I know.
85
00:03:17,957 --> 00:03:20,957
86
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:24,890
Ha.
87
00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:27,103
First thing my sponsor told me was,
88
00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:29,867
"Don't eat the birthday cake."
89
00:03:29,955 --> 00:03:32,123
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
90
00:03:32,185 --> 00:03:35,842
By the time the crackheads and
alkies blow out the candles,
91
00:03:35,844 --> 00:03:37,299
it's not icing anymore,
92
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,750
it's a creamy petri dish.
93
00:03:39,776 --> 00:03:41,604
Oh, man, that's kind of disgusting.
94
00:03:41,606 --> 00:03:44,026
- [Laughs]
- Why you still eating it, then?
95
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:45,832
I'm immune.
96
00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:47,099
Mmm.
97
00:03:47,239 --> 00:03:50,799
I'm like one of those guys who, uh...
98
00:03:50,859 --> 00:03:52,727
Mmm! That's good!
99
00:03:52,782 --> 00:03:54,095
...takes rattlesnake venom
100
00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:55,699
until the bites don't bother him.
101
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:56,540
- Right.
- Yeah.
102
00:03:56,582 --> 00:04:00,334
After 30 years of gulping junkie germs,
103
00:04:00,389 --> 00:04:01,533
it doesn't affect me.
104
00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:02,532
- Got it.
- Mmm. Yeah.
105
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,087
[Inhales] Gerry... with a "G."
106
00:04:05,122 --> 00:04:06,488
Marc.
107
00:04:06,519 --> 00:04:07,651
30 years, huh?
108
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:10,033
- That's not nothing.
- Yeah, thanks.
109
00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:12,269
Now I pretty much come for the cookies.
110
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:15,433
I'm a sucker for that
baked-last-century taste.
111
00:04:15,514 --> 00:04:17,699
Right, right.
112
00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,001
So uh...
113
00:04:20,078 --> 00:04:21,833
you want to sponsor me?
114
00:04:24,701 --> 00:04:26,962
Why don't you tell me what's going on?
115
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,967
Well, it's kind of a saga.
116
00:04:29,150 --> 00:04:30,615
Shocker!
117
00:04:30,790 --> 00:04:32,151
- Give me the highlights.
- All right.
118
00:04:32,153 --> 00:04:35,610
Well, I had, uh, 16
years sober, I relapsed.
119
00:04:35,612 --> 00:04:38,685
I kind of screwed up a
big job, I lost everything.
120
00:04:38,687 --> 00:04:40,975
I imploded publicly,
121
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,418
and, uh, now I got no place to live.
122
00:04:43,467 --> 00:04:46,010
- Impressive.
- What, that I have no place to live?
123
00:04:46,138 --> 00:04:49,631
Most addicts, they're
addicted to the drama.
124
00:04:49,633 --> 00:04:51,938
You sounded like you were
reading a bus schedule.
125
00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:53,906
I know, right? I think I'm dead inside.
126
00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:55,332
Mm!
127
00:04:55,405 --> 00:04:57,032
That happens!
128
00:04:57,034 --> 00:04:58,399
You keep doing what you're doing,
129
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,578
you keep getting what you're getting.
130
00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,632
- Right, right, okay.
- Mm, yeah.
131
00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:07,654
My sponsor used to tell me
just do the next right thing.
132
00:05:07,686 --> 00:05:09,342
Okay, that sounds great. I'm in.
133
00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:11,428
So what is it?
134
00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,182
You don't know.
135
00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:15,077
You can't... your brain's broken.
136
00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:17,124
Everything you want to do is wrong.
137
00:05:17,143 --> 00:05:20,222
That's why you have a sponsor,
so you can take directions.
138
00:05:20,261 --> 00:05:22,244
Okay, look, I... You want to do this?
139
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:26,104
Yeah, one addict helping another,
that's what it's all about.
140
00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:28,217
So, all right, what happens now, then?
141
00:05:28,317 --> 00:05:30,213
Hmm.
142
00:05:30,265 --> 00:05:32,097
Ah.
143
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,931
Let's take a ride.
144
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:36,165
Where?
145
00:05:36,231 --> 00:05:38,370
Unless you prefer sleeping under the stars,
146
00:05:38,429 --> 00:05:42,043
I might have a cheap place for you to stay.
147
00:05:42,082 --> 00:05:44,035
Hey, do me a favor.
148
00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:46,266
Just keep filling this up.
149
00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:48,321
They're gonna throw it away anyway.
150
00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:51,197
It's open. Just move shit off the seat.
151
00:05:51,507 --> 00:05:53,329
[Grunts]
152
00:05:53,365 --> 00:05:56,083
[Bag crinkles]
153
00:05:56,137 --> 00:05:56,714
[Door closes]
154
00:05:56,716 --> 00:05:57,873
- [Seat belt clicks]
- Yeah.
155
00:05:59,463 --> 00:06:00,426
Yeah.
156
00:06:07,317 --> 00:06:08,386
Hmm.
157
00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:11,015
Shirley, the place we're going,
158
00:06:11,054 --> 00:06:13,453
takes in recovering addicts.
159
00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:15,632
She helps a lot of guys.
160
00:06:15,633 --> 00:06:18,427
She's like a one-woman halfway house.
161
00:06:18,514 --> 00:06:20,580
She helped me get sober. Yeah.
162
00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:23,310
I was lost.
163
00:06:23,362 --> 00:06:25,395
I don't really know how to say it,
164
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:28,752
but, yeah, she was nurturing in a way.
165
00:06:29,023 --> 00:06:30,281
Hmm.
166
00:06:30,334 --> 00:06:31,933
Sounds weird.
167
00:06:32,854 --> 00:06:34,098
Unless you have a better idea,
168
00:06:34,107 --> 00:06:38,273
I suggest going with
sponsorial direction here.
169
00:06:38,329 --> 00:06:39,961
Uh...
170
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,297
All right, fine.
171
00:06:42,353 --> 00:06:45,952
You're either in faith,
or you're in fear, bro!
172
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,797
- [Laughs]
- [Chuckles]
173
00:06:48,744 --> 00:06:49,915
Yeah, you get it.
174
00:06:49,917 --> 00:06:52,917
175
00:06:56,037 --> 00:06:58,250
[Gear shifts, sealbelt clicks]
176
00:07:00,031 --> 00:07:00,967
You're not coming in?
177
00:07:01,026 --> 00:07:03,992
Mm, that's not how Shirley rolls.
178
00:07:05,462 --> 00:07:06,694
Ah.
179
00:07:07,071 --> 00:07:08,821
Well, this doesn't feel creepy.
180
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:12,664
Yeah, like the old-timers
say, "Feelings aren't facts."
181
00:07:15,641 --> 00:07:19,170
[Car door opens]
182
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,333
[Car door closes]
183
00:07:20,335 --> 00:07:21,834
Hey.
184
00:07:21,836 --> 00:07:23,505
Call me tomorrow.
185
00:07:29,331 --> 00:07:31,351
You'll be staying in the guest house.
186
00:07:31,353 --> 00:07:33,855
So did Gerry tell you
why I take in you guys?
187
00:07:33,857 --> 00:07:35,659
He just said you like to help people.
188
00:07:35,707 --> 00:07:38,039
I do.
189
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,636
My own son died of an O.D. 30 years ago.
190
00:07:41,638 --> 00:07:42,756
Hmm.
191
00:07:42,806 --> 00:07:45,441
Nobody helped him, including me.
192
00:07:45,443 --> 00:07:47,375
[Suitcase thuds]
193
00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:50,629
[Chuckles] Wouldn't let
him back in the house.
194
00:07:51,396 --> 00:07:54,328
[Sighs] So after he
died in a skid-row motel
195
00:07:54,330 --> 00:07:56,455
- with a needle in his neck...
- Ugh.
196
00:07:56,457 --> 00:07:59,798
...I made a vow to help as
many of you boys as I could...
197
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,541
the way I wish I helped my own.
198
00:08:02,543 --> 00:08:04,209
Uh...
199
00:08:04,289 --> 00:08:05,852
This is a nice garden.
200
00:08:05,946 --> 00:08:08,399
Oh, it's more than that.
201
00:08:08,432 --> 00:08:10,466
Here.
202
00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:11,620
Take this.
203
00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:13,609
It's your sobriety bush.
204
00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:16,556
Sobriety bush?
205
00:08:16,558 --> 00:08:19,190
While you're here, you'll tend it.
206
00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:22,100
You'll plant it, you'll water
it, you'll watch it grow.
207
00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:26,266
Learn to love this little guy,
and you'll learn to love yourself.
208
00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:30,497
Gardening is a big part of
what you'll be doing here.
209
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,150
I call it Donny's Garden.
210
00:08:33,152 --> 00:08:34,751
Hmm.
211
00:08:34,951 --> 00:08:36,266
- It's really, um...
- I know.
212
00:08:36,319 --> 00:08:38,051
I...
213
00:08:38,391 --> 00:08:39,554
I know.
214
00:08:41,071 --> 00:08:42,300
So after you change your pants,
215
00:08:42,353 --> 00:08:44,816
you can get started planting
this little newcomer.
216
00:08:44,896 --> 00:08:46,391
Um...
217
00:08:46,474 --> 00:08:47,773
These are my only pants.
218
00:08:47,806 --> 00:08:49,338
Fine, then you can start right now.
219
00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:51,080
First thing you need to
do is give him a name.
220
00:08:51,119 --> 00:08:52,772
- [Sighs]
- [Sniffles]
221
00:08:52,774 --> 00:08:55,049
Okay, I'll... I'll come up with something.
222
00:09:03,290 --> 00:09:06,095
[Suitcase wheels click]
223
00:09:06,551 --> 00:09:10,394
224
00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:15,757
Who's this handsome fellow?
225
00:09:15,815 --> 00:09:17,489
It's my landlady's son.
226
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:19,954
He lived in here... till he O.D.'d.
227
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,334
Oh, that's a little depressing.
228
00:09:21,336 --> 00:09:23,390
Addiction is depressing, Andy.
229
00:09:23,392 --> 00:09:24,740
Why are you here? What do you want?
230
00:09:24,742 --> 00:09:26,923
What, I have to have a... a reason
231
00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:29,047
to come visit my old friend?
232
00:09:29,049 --> 00:09:31,068
I mean, wow, the anger.
233
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,846
You threw me out of your house, Andy!
234
00:09:32,848 --> 00:09:36,758
Now I'm living with some lady named
Shirley in the dead son museum.
235
00:09:36,797 --> 00:09:39,836
Wow, you're like my mother with the guilt.
236
00:09:39,873 --> 00:09:41,572
The cats are doing fantastic, by the way.
237
00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,874
Oh, okay, so you came over
here to talk about the cats?
238
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,911
No, I came here because I'm your friend.
239
00:09:46,945 --> 00:09:47,639
Mm-hmm.
240
00:09:47,686 --> 00:09:49,620
The Sklar brothers wanted
to know why you didn't return
241
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:51,308
- their calls about the podcast.
- [Sighs]
242
00:09:51,355 --> 00:09:52,415
What... W-why?!
243
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,716
Why would I want to do a podcast right now?
244
00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:56,173
Because you have to get back out there.
245
00:09:56,197 --> 00:09:58,638
You gotta get your life back to normal.
246
00:09:58,651 --> 00:10:01,783
Marc, you really need to
be out there gardening.
247
00:10:01,925 --> 00:10:03,505
Hi, I'm Andy. I'm Marc's friend.
248
00:10:03,545 --> 00:10:07,366
Hello, Andy. Marc, I think
it's time to tend to the bush.
249
00:10:07,368 --> 00:10:08,309
Mm.
250
00:10:12,852 --> 00:10:13,771
I can take a hint.
251
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:14,511
- No.
- No.
252
00:10:14,534 --> 00:10:16,491
No, it's a chore. It's
not what you're thinking.
253
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,677
- I know... You don't have...
- No, It's not. It's not what it i...
254
00:10:18,716 --> 00:10:20,724
Don't have to explain to me.
255
00:10:20,725 --> 00:10:22,239
Please do that podcast, okay?
256
00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:23,808
Oh, I don't know.
257
00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:25,942
258
00:10:27,475 --> 00:10:28,609
I'm serious, man.
259
00:10:28,611 --> 00:10:30,556
It's like a mausoleum over there.
260
00:10:30,558 --> 00:10:32,889
She's got pictures of
her dead kid everywhere.
261
00:10:32,891 --> 00:10:34,706
I mean, what is that? How does that help?
262
00:10:34,708 --> 00:10:37,107
Sounds like somebody's having a pity party.
263
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,017
- [Sighs] - Hmm. - [Cellphone chimes]
264
00:10:38,053 --> 00:10:39,215
Come on.
265
00:10:39,217 --> 00:10:41,816
- Maybe you should come with me.
- Where, fellowship?
266
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,440
I've had it up to here
with fellowship, man.
267
00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:48,002
How... how much crappy food can you eat?
268
00:10:48,070 --> 00:10:50,017
I'm... I'm sorry. That
was a stupid thing to say.
269
00:10:50,058 --> 00:10:52,924
No, no, no. 12 step call.
270
00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:57,545
Best way to get out of your own head
is to help another alcoholic or addict.
271
00:10:57,547 --> 00:10:59,497
- That... that was hurtful.
- Okay.
272
00:10:59,499 --> 00:11:01,864
That's mean.
273
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:03,121
[Siren wails, rock music playing]
274
00:11:03,225 --> 00:11:05,427
Oh, listen, Gerry, again,
I'm sorry I lashed out.
275
00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:07,187
All right, just I'm not...
I don't... I don't feel great.
276
00:11:07,189 --> 00:11:08,733
Yeah, I know that.
277
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,191
Hey, hey, we're good.
278
00:11:10,193 --> 00:11:11,795
Actually, it was my fault.
279
00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,771
I'm a little sensitive about that stuff.
280
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:17,266
Man: Oh, yeah, baby! I know you like that!
281
00:11:17,282 --> 00:11:20,534
Oh, oh! Give daddy a little nibble!
282
00:11:20,536 --> 00:11:22,124
Oh! [Panting]
283
00:11:22,313 --> 00:11:24,444
What the hell is that?
284
00:11:24,496 --> 00:11:26,061
Sounds like a cry for help.
285
00:11:26,063 --> 00:11:27,777
Oh, really? In what language?
286
00:11:27,779 --> 00:11:29,968
[Chuckles] You'll see.
287
00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:33,303
[Rock music continues]
288
00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:34,824
[Glass clinks]
289
00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,648
Mm. Watch your step.
290
00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:37,685
Oh.
291
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,488
What the hell's wrong with
you? H-How are you eating that?
292
00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:44,282
It smells like stale jizz in here, man?
293
00:11:44,352 --> 00:11:45,677
That's bleach.
294
00:11:45,697 --> 00:11:48,613
The guy was probably cleaning his needles.
295
00:11:49,022 --> 00:11:50,172
He's very hygienic.
296
00:11:50,174 --> 00:11:51,490
Yeah, clearly.
297
00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:54,657
Mm.
298
00:11:54,658 --> 00:11:56,632
Okay.
299
00:11:56,637 --> 00:11:58,969
I'm going in. [Knocks on door]
300
00:11:59,179 --> 00:12:01,825
Hey, buddy, you okay?
301
00:12:02,223 --> 00:12:03,621
You in there?
302
00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:04,745
Man: What do you want?!
303
00:12:04,752 --> 00:12:07,124
All right, all right, let's
just go. Seriously, man.
304
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:09,166
We're from A.A.
305
00:12:09,168 --> 00:12:11,020
You called Central Office.
306
00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:13,703
My name is Gerry, with a "G."
307
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:16,324
Nipples!
308
00:12:16,325 --> 00:12:18,425
[Rock music continues]
309
00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:24,289
Ready or not, here we come!
310
00:12:24,291 --> 00:12:25,990
Yee-haw!
311
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:29,061
[Music intensifies]
312
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,010
Unh-unh. No. I... no.
313
00:12:31,082 --> 00:12:34,995
Oh, come on, cowboy. It's your rodeo time.
314
00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:37,921
- Oh. Hey.
- Okay.
315
00:12:38,645 --> 00:12:40,211
Man: Oh, gosh, guys.
316
00:12:40,266 --> 00:12:41,775
I'm glad you're here.
317
00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:42,834
[Both chuckle]
318
00:12:42,878 --> 00:12:44,407
So you been partying, huh?
319
00:12:44,503 --> 00:12:46,573
Oh. [Chuckles] Yeah.
320
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:50,782
I guess I was kind of messed
up when I called, but...
321
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,133
I'm fine now.
322
00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:53,549
Shut up, bitch!
323
00:12:53,550 --> 00:12:55,214
[Chuckles]
324
00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:56,116
[Growls]
325
00:12:56,178 --> 00:12:57,349
- Mm! Mm!
- You know,
326
00:12:57,350 --> 00:12:59,582
- I've been where you've been, my friend.
- Mm!
327
00:12:59,583 --> 00:13:02,286
I can help you get into treatment.
328
00:13:02,325 --> 00:13:04,010
What do ya say?
329
00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:05,549
What do I say?
330
00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:09,174
What does she say?
331
00:13:09,235 --> 00:13:10,737
Oh, God! [Sighs]
332
00:13:10,799 --> 00:13:12,505
- Oh, man.
- Oh, God!
333
00:13:12,562 --> 00:13:16,413
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
334
00:13:16,415 --> 00:13:18,749
Oh!
335
00:13:19,111 --> 00:13:20,682
All gone!
336
00:13:21,557 --> 00:13:23,066
Uh, I... I... I don't...
337
00:13:23,074 --> 00:13:25,516
I don't think this is about drugs, man.
338
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,860
Hmm. You might be right.
339
00:13:27,862 --> 00:13:29,934
But the drugs aren't helping.
340
00:13:29,936 --> 00:13:30,680
Oh.
341
00:13:30,682 --> 00:13:32,634
[Cellphone vibrates]
342
00:13:32,697 --> 00:13:34,561
Oh, can I step out for a second?
343
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,549
Yeah!
344
00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:38,952
- Okay, steady.
- Oh!
345
00:13:38,954 --> 00:13:40,715
- Steady, and...
- Mm!
346
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:41,828
- Okay. All right,
- Okay.
347
00:13:41,879 --> 00:13:43,445
- I'm... I'm gonna step out here.
- [Chuckles]
348
00:13:43,553 --> 00:13:45,298
- Yeah, I wish I could.
- Okay.
349
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,233
[Siren wails, clattering]
350
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:52,458
- What the hell, man?
- [Laughs]
351
00:13:52,460 --> 00:13:53,732
That was crazy!
352
00:13:53,765 --> 00:13:56,632
Oh, welcome to the rodeo, buddy. [Laughs]
353
00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:58,431
Ah, so, an important message?
354
00:13:58,433 --> 00:14:00,624
Oh, yeah... well, it was,
uh, the Sklar brothers.
355
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,877
You know the Sklar brothers, they're twins.
356
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,599
- Yeah, I know who they are.
- Right.
357
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,399
- Yeah, yeah, Randy and Jason.
- Mm-hmm.
358
00:14:05,433 --> 00:14:06,585
Well, they got a podcast now,
359
00:14:06,657 --> 00:14:08,156
and they keep bugging me to be on it.
360
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,466
Oh, man, you gotta do it. So do it!
361
00:14:10,526 --> 00:14:12,020
I... I don't... You know, I don't know.
362
00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:14,884
I... I... I don't feel ready.
You know, I still feel shitty.
363
00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:17,163
You gotta say yes to the universe, buddy.
364
00:14:17,178 --> 00:14:18,927
- Say yes.
- You think?
365
00:14:18,997 --> 00:14:21,196
Yes, I know.
366
00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:24,005
Universe will say yes to you.
367
00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:25,220
[Clattering]
368
00:14:25,275 --> 00:14:30,502
Hey, I really appreciate you
guys coming, but I'm okay now.
369
00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:32,397
I got this.
370
00:14:32,729 --> 00:14:34,399
[Grunts]
371
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,438
- Oh!
- [Sighs] Okay.
372
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,032
- Okay. All right. Uh, are we done here?
- Mm-hmm.
373
00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:41,166
All right, everybody, welcome
back to Sklarbro Country.
374
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:43,032
We, of course, have the hilarious
375
00:14:43,087 --> 00:14:46,231
and lately M.I.A. Marc Maron with us.
376
00:14:46,262 --> 00:14:47,929
- Uh, welcome to the show.
- Randy: It's been a while, buddy.
377
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,768
And, uh, what can we ask you,
and what can we not ask you?
378
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:54,699
Uh, well, I... you know, I'm...
379
00:14:54,779 --> 00:14:56,065
I'm... I'm still a little raw,
380
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,699
but, you know, I... I think it's, uh,
381
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:58,899
it's probably time.
382
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,364
You know, I... I... I think, um,
383
00:15:00,396 --> 00:15:02,528
people want to know what I've been through.
384
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,065
Well, yeah, I mean,
you've been through a lot.
385
00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:06,600
Seriously, I mean, holy shit.
386
00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:07,832
Where do we begin?
387
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,616
Uh, well...
388
00:15:10,705 --> 00:15:12,299
w-whatever you guys
want to know, you know?
389
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,429
I... I'll... let's
just... let's just do it.
390
00:15:14,511 --> 00:15:15,406
- Okay.
- Okay, okay.
391
00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:17,795
Uh, I'll start with something that I heard.
392
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,728
I heard that you were
living in a storage locker.
393
00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:21,420
Wait a minute,
394
00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:22,323
- how do you know that
- I heard that.
395
00:15:22,387 --> 00:15:24,271
- and I don't know that?
- 'Cause I hear things.
396
00:15:24,329 --> 00:15:26,234
Okay, are we talking about
an actual storage locker here?
397
00:15:26,236 --> 00:15:28,039
- Yes.
- Yeah, but, I mean,
398
00:15:28,078 --> 00:15:30,059
the saddest part about
it really was that...
399
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,869
Wait, wait, wait. Where did you shit...
400
00:15:31,871 --> 00:15:33,138
- Okay.
- ...in the storage locker?
401
00:15:33,161 --> 00:15:34,494
- Just take it easy.
- Yeah, I want to know.
402
00:15:34,496 --> 00:15:35,330
A bucket it. It was a bucket.
403
00:15:35,332 --> 00:15:37,311
[Inhales sharply]
404
00:15:37,313 --> 00:15:39,090
I mean, when you say it out
loud or when he says it...
405
00:15:39,129 --> 00:15:40,850
And when he repeats it twice,
406
00:15:40,951 --> 00:15:41,789
- that's just sad.
- Yeah, yeah.
407
00:15:41,791 --> 00:15:43,556
- A bucket. - That's just really sad.
- Yeah.
408
00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:44,899
- But hilarious.
- Kind of funny.
409
00:15:44,950 --> 00:15:46,299
- Kind of hilarious.
- Also kind of funny, yeah.
410
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:49,003
I mean, have you been talking
about this on stage yet?
411
00:15:49,065 --> 00:15:50,032
- No.
- Please tell me.
412
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,232
No, I... I haven't even...
413
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:54,699
- st-started doing stand-up again yet.
- What are you talking about?
414
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,145
- Are you kidding?
- You gotta go on.
415
00:15:56,185 --> 00:15:57,784
You have so much to draw from now.
416
00:15:57,827 --> 00:16:00,878
Yeah, but I'm just, uh...
It's like I'm... I don't...
417
00:16:00,941 --> 00:16:03,115
I don't know. [Chuckles]
418
00:16:03,161 --> 00:16:04,360
All right, well, listen, hey.
419
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,599
W-We're headlining at
the Ice House tonight,
420
00:16:06,668 --> 00:16:08,099
and there's an open slot in the show.
421
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,332
- It's got your name on it.
- Come on.
422
00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:11,766
I think you should do it. Say yes, man.
423
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,066
Come on, look what we're doing right here.
424
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,701
This is a comedy
intervention on this podcast.
425
00:16:14,748 --> 00:16:16,366
That's all it is.
426
00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:18,832
[Sighs]
427
00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,433
Oh.
428
00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:23,976
So I know it sounds sad that...
429
00:16:23,978 --> 00:16:25,403
that I was living in a storage unit,
430
00:16:25,463 --> 00:16:29,064
but th-there is some...
some good parts to it.
431
00:16:29,093 --> 00:16:32,213
Like, uh, I was running a small business
out of the storage unit. I was...
432
00:16:32,215 --> 00:16:35,451
I was, uh, actually
selling my shit for drugs.
433
00:16:37,207 --> 00:16:38,632
Hmm.
434
00:16:38,669 --> 00:16:41,232
And once I ran out of my shit, then I... I,
435
00:16:41,288 --> 00:16:42,632
you know, I didn't steal.
436
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:45,590
I chose to, uh, to start
a very healthy relationship
437
00:16:45,663 --> 00:16:47,762
with a woman who was taking
care of a guy with cancer,
438
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,166
and I would take his medicine.
439
00:16:49,223 --> 00:16:51,632
And if you think it's,
you know, hard to have sex
440
00:16:51,692 --> 00:16:53,799
with someone you don't
really want to have sex with,
441
00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:55,366
try doing it on Oxys
442
00:16:55,424 --> 00:16:58,107
with a guy with cancer
moaning in the background.
443
00:16:58,177 --> 00:17:00,080
And I pulled that off, so
that's something, right?
444
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:03,689
I'm kind of a hero.
445
00:17:03,691 --> 00:17:06,032
- Okay, all right!
- [Claps] Whoo!
446
00:17:06,033 --> 00:17:07,799
Marc Maron, everybody! Marc Maron!
447
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,342
- Give it up!
- For Marc Maron, everybody!
448
00:17:09,381 --> 00:17:10,204
- Come on!
- Marc Maron!
449
00:17:10,212 --> 00:17:12,722
First time he's been on stage
since shitting in a bucket there.
450
00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:13,557
- Hey.
- Marc Maron.
451
00:17:13,559 --> 00:17:14,809
Not a lot of people can say that.
452
00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:16,365
One guy could say that...
he's right there...
453
00:17:16,465 --> 00:17:17,399
- Marc Maron.
- Marc Maron.
454
00:17:17,639 --> 00:17:18,663
- Thank you guys so much.
- All right, thank you, guys.
455
00:17:18,665 --> 00:17:20,728
- We'll see you later.
- All right, bye.
456
00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:22,214
- Bye.
- Hey, hey, hey.
457
00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:23,279
What's up, what's up, fellas?
458
00:17:23,281 --> 00:17:24,666
- Oh, hey, Marc.
- Hey, Marc.
459
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:25,811
What's up, man? How are you?
460
00:17:25,850 --> 00:17:27,332
- That was, uh...
- [Inhales sharply]
461
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,399
- That was really, um...
- Yeah, here's the good news.
462
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,832
You got that one out of the way.
463
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,366
Yeah, you did it. You, uh...
464
00:17:32,431 --> 00:17:33,232
I bombed.
465
00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:35,881
Yeah, I tanked, I know.
I-I know what happened.
466
00:17:35,913 --> 00:17:37,799
- I'm not stupid.
- It was pretty awful.
467
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,966
Yeah, it's one of the worst
bombings I've ever seen.
468
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:41,966
But, hey, man, y-you got on stage.
469
00:17:42,026 --> 00:17:43,632
Yeah, I mean, sort of.
470
00:17:43,679 --> 00:17:46,009
He didn't sort of get on stage.
He was definitely on the stage.
471
00:17:46,055 --> 00:17:49,230
All right, all right, all
right, all right, okay, okay.
472
00:17:49,293 --> 00:17:51,239
So what's going on now?
473
00:17:51,252 --> 00:17:54,918
You want to get something
to eat or something?
474
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:56,932
I mean, normally, absolutely,
475
00:17:56,933 --> 00:17:58,766
- yes, we would do that, but...
- Tonight we can't.
476
00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,066
- No.
- We got... we got a party.
477
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:01,976
- Yeah.
- Mm.
478
00:18:01,978 --> 00:18:03,182
- We would have totally invited you.
- Yeah.
479
00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:05,120
But there's gonna be a lot of booze.
480
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,399
It's gonna be really fun, Marc.
481
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,666
And we just don't want to throw
482
00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:08,595
that sort of fun in your face right now.
483
00:18:08,597 --> 00:18:10,422
Yeah, all right, okay. You know, I... I...
484
00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:12,743
You know, I gotta... I gotta...
485
00:18:12,745 --> 00:18:15,190
- I gotta get back anyways.
- Oh. - Oh.
486
00:18:15,192 --> 00:18:17,157
- Really? Great.
- Yeah. - Cool.
487
00:18:17,159 --> 00:18:19,381
I thought we were gonna have
to babysit you all night, so...
488
00:18:19,383 --> 00:18:21,373
Thanks for doing it, though.
Thanks for coming out, man.
489
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:22,162
- Yeah.
- Dude.
490
00:18:22,164 --> 00:18:23,665
- Up on stage!
- Who got up there?
491
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,400
Baby steps.
492
00:18:25,402 --> 00:18:27,249
Oh, man.
493
00:18:27,251 --> 00:18:28,601
[Cellphone clicking]
494
00:18:34,558 --> 00:18:35,436
[Sighs]
495
00:18:35,483 --> 00:18:37,560
Hey. Hey, Gerry, it's, uh... It's Marc.
496
00:18:37,562 --> 00:18:39,066
Gerry: [Clears throat] Marc, you okay?
497
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:42,239
No. No, I'm... I'm not
okay. You know, I... I...
498
00:18:42,278 --> 00:18:44,398
I took your... your Goddamn direction.
499
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:46,749
I... You know, I-I
listened to the universe,
500
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,866
I got up on stage.
501
00:18:47,867 --> 00:18:49,332
- Um, Marc...
- No, no, no, wait.
502
00:18:49,371 --> 00:18:51,732
Wait, I-I died, all right? I tanked.
503
00:18:51,812 --> 00:18:53,062
It was mortifying.
504
00:18:53,064 --> 00:18:55,197
And then... and then it just got worse.
505
00:18:55,306 --> 00:18:56,821
I mean, you know, some of my comic friends
506
00:18:56,862 --> 00:19:00,123
and then some... all the other comics
were going to a party, and um...
507
00:19:00,212 --> 00:19:02,727
- I can't talk to you now.
- Are you kidding me?
508
00:19:02,773 --> 00:19:04,699
Uh, sorry. My wife and I are...
509
00:19:04,787 --> 00:19:06,686
are going to dinner with friends.
510
00:19:06,735 --> 00:19:09,634
Oh, really? Hey, I... I
haven't, uh, been out to dinner
511
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,932
with, um, anyone in a long time.
512
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:15,336
Uh, c-c-can I meet
up with you guys?
513
00:19:16,199 --> 00:19:19,557
I'm sorry. It's... it's...
it's kind of a work thing.
514
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:20,793
I'll talk to you later.
515
00:19:20,795 --> 00:19:23,266
Don't quit before the miracle.
516
00:19:23,469 --> 00:19:24,397
Yeah.
517
00:19:26,303 --> 00:19:27,499
Yeah.
518
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,467
519
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,628
[Door creaks]
520
00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,066
Marc!
521
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,419
Come on up.
522
00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,999
You really like to help people, huh?
523
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,366
I give you guys what
I couldn't give my son.
524
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,866
Why couldn't you?
525
00:20:02,310 --> 00:20:03,966
I was too drunk.
526
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,297
- Mm.
- Have some cocoa.
527
00:20:06,589 --> 00:20:07,573
[Marc sighs]
528
00:20:07,783 --> 00:20:09,763
I started drinking cocoa 30 years ago
529
00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:12,052
when I quit drinking everything else.
530
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:14,932
[Slurps]
531
00:20:15,049 --> 00:20:18,132
Oh, man! That's really good.
532
00:20:18,903 --> 00:20:21,374
Yeah, it... it tastes like, um...
533
00:20:22,577 --> 00:20:23,966
Mommy?
534
00:20:25,096 --> 00:20:26,540
Not my mommy.
535
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,499
Oh.
536
00:20:28,554 --> 00:20:30,666
You're having a hard time, aren't you?
537
00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:31,932
I...
538
00:20:32,026 --> 00:20:34,199
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
539
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,632
It's okay.
540
00:20:37,622 --> 00:20:39,766
This is a safe place.
541
00:20:39,903 --> 00:20:41,866
[Sighs]
542
00:20:42,478 --> 00:20:45,000
[Exhales deeply]
543
00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:49,566
You're all little boys.
544
00:20:49,567 --> 00:20:51,099
Mm.
545
00:20:51,193 --> 00:20:54,093
Just lost little boys.
546
00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:58,566
This doesn't feel like
the next right thing.
547
00:20:58,932 --> 00:21:01,232
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
548
00:21:01,365 --> 00:21:04,399
549
00:21:05,871 --> 00:21:10,871
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
550
00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:15,471
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38601
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