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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,125 --> 00:00:04,375 Yeah, so, I think he's actually the only real genius I know. 2 00:00:04,377 --> 00:00:06,944 I mean, I-I... No offense. 3 00:00:06,979 --> 00:00:08,545 None taken, man. Trust me. 4 00:00:08,547 --> 00:00:10,464 If Dostoyevsky had written for "Alf" in his 20s, 5 00:00:10,516 --> 00:00:12,483 nobody'd take "Crime and Punishment" seriously. 6 00:00:12,518 --> 00:00:14,435 [chuckling] Come on. Let the "Alf" thing go. 7 00:00:14,470 --> 00:00:18,772 I mean, Dostoyevsky, what, he wrote like 20 amazing novels. 8 00:00:18,808 --> 00:00:20,557 Jack Ross wrote one. 9 00:00:20,609 --> 00:00:22,142 Yeah, but, you know, 10 00:00:22,194 --> 00:00:24,228 the poor bastard's been chasing it for the last six. 11 00:00:24,230 --> 00:00:25,229 I think that's true. 12 00:00:25,281 --> 00:00:27,114 Well, at least he had one. 13 00:00:27,149 --> 00:00:29,700 Jerry Stahl, you wrote "Permanent Midnight," man. 14 00:00:29,752 --> 00:00:32,036 Never forget. Never forget. 15 00:00:32,088 --> 00:00:32,953 Great book. 16 00:00:33,005 --> 00:00:33,971 Thank you, I think. 17 00:00:34,006 --> 00:00:35,372 I got to go up to, uh... 18 00:00:35,424 --> 00:00:37,291 Jack's asked me to speak to his class, 19 00:00:37,343 --> 00:00:38,542 and I'm nervous about it. 20 00:00:38,544 --> 00:00:39,793 Really? 21 00:00:39,845 --> 00:00:41,595 Yeah, because I think I wanted to do that. 22 00:00:41,630 --> 00:00:43,714 I think that in some other life in my mind, 23 00:00:43,766 --> 00:00:46,884 some parallel universe, I-I'm a professor. 24 00:00:46,886 --> 00:00:49,136 Sure... sit around with a bunch of douche nozzles, 25 00:00:49,188 --> 00:00:50,554 kicking around Slavoj Zizek. 26 00:00:50,606 --> 00:00:52,272 I don't even know who that is. 27 00:00:52,308 --> 00:00:53,724 Popular Marxist on Twitter. 28 00:00:53,726 --> 00:00:55,442 I don't even know if you're pulling my leg. 29 00:00:55,478 --> 00:00:57,061 Not at all. Could I make that name up? 30 00:00:57,063 --> 00:00:59,063 No, I know the name's probably right, but I don't... 31 00:00:59,115 --> 00:01:00,647 - I can't even pronounce it. - [laughs] 32 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,733 - I'm just gonna open my mind. - Mm-hmm. 33 00:01:02,785 --> 00:01:04,902 I think it'll be a good experience for me 34 00:01:04,954 --> 00:01:06,820 to connect with the young people. 35 00:01:06,872 --> 00:01:08,455 - It'll be validating. - Sure. 36 00:01:08,491 --> 00:01:09,573 - Be nice. - Uh-huh. 37 00:01:09,625 --> 00:01:11,408 Have you ever guest-lectured? 38 00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:12,409 I've done some. 39 00:01:12,461 --> 00:01:14,294 - Where? - San Quentin. 40 00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:15,579 That's a good school. 41 00:01:15,631 --> 00:01:18,382 ["The Poisoned Well" plays] 42 00:01:19,719 --> 00:01:22,469 Won't fall for it 43 00:01:22,505 --> 00:01:25,172 You can't see 44 00:01:25,224 --> 00:01:27,791 And you can't tell 45 00:01:27,827 --> 00:01:32,229 I just can't drink from the poisoned well 46 00:01:32,265 --> 00:01:35,165 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 47 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:39,853 Okay, man, so, don't forget to water the plants out back. 48 00:01:39,905 --> 00:01:41,488 Those are the keys. 49 00:01:41,524 --> 00:01:43,273 I appreciate you doing this. 50 00:01:43,275 --> 00:01:46,110 So, you're gonna hang with Jack Ross? That's wild. 51 00:01:46,112 --> 00:01:48,028 Yeah, man. We're buddies from back in the day. 52 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:49,613 When I was doing comedy in Boston, 53 00:01:49,615 --> 00:01:51,832 he was like this, just this, like, scrawny Harvard kid, 54 00:01:51,867 --> 00:01:53,183 used to hang around the club 55 00:01:53,219 --> 00:01:54,835 and kind of took a liking to me. 56 00:01:54,870 --> 00:01:56,787 Think he saw me as a mentor or something. 57 00:01:56,839 --> 00:01:59,540 Cool. Because now I kind of see you as my mentor. 58 00:01:59,592 --> 00:02:01,341 I'm not your mentor. 59 00:02:01,377 --> 00:02:02,793 Yeah. You are. 60 00:02:02,795 --> 00:02:04,628 No. I don't want that job. 61 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,046 Well, you got it. 62 00:02:06,098 --> 00:02:07,848 Dude, I'm a shitty mentor. 63 00:02:09,552 --> 00:02:10,634 You texting a chick? 64 00:02:10,686 --> 00:02:12,136 No, dude. 65 00:02:12,138 --> 00:02:14,354 I'm doing research on that "Slo-vej Zee-zack." 66 00:02:14,390 --> 00:02:17,141 Actually, it's pronounced "Sla-vodge Jee-jek." 67 00:02:17,143 --> 00:02:18,976 Like "Gigi," but with "jek." 68 00:02:19,028 --> 00:02:21,311 He's a Slovenian Marxist philosopher. 69 00:02:21,313 --> 00:02:23,864 He's super-trendy. You should check out Derrida. 70 00:02:23,899 --> 00:02:25,983 That dude, he invented deconstruction. 71 00:02:26,035 --> 00:02:28,652 You need to know semiotics. It's its own language. 72 00:02:28,704 --> 00:02:29,987 How do you know this shit? 73 00:02:30,039 --> 00:02:31,321 I was a philosophy major. 74 00:02:31,357 --> 00:02:33,157 Uh-huh. Why are you a comedian? 75 00:02:33,209 --> 00:02:34,992 I was a philosophy major. 76 00:02:35,044 --> 00:02:37,327 All right. Okay, buddy. 77 00:02:37,329 --> 00:02:40,831 So, look, I, uh, I need you to, you know, 78 00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:44,084 just feed the cats, don't let the cats die, 79 00:02:44,136 --> 00:02:45,752 don't kill my plants. 80 00:02:45,805 --> 00:02:47,671 Don't kill yourself in my house. 81 00:02:47,673 --> 00:02:49,389 I don't want to come home to that. 82 00:02:49,425 --> 00:02:50,674 - Okay. No problem. - Right. 83 00:02:50,676 --> 00:02:51,233 All right. You take care of yourself. 84 00:02:51,269 --> 00:02:53,811 Anything for my mentor. 85 00:02:58,434 --> 00:03:00,601 - Hey, man! - MARC: [chuckling] Hey, man. 86 00:03:00,653 --> 00:03:02,352 - Jack Ross. What's up, buddy? - [laughs] 87 00:03:02,354 --> 00:03:04,188 - Come on in. Put your stuff down. - All right. 88 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,240 - Right here is good? - Yeah, that's fine. 89 00:03:06,275 --> 00:03:07,908 - Wow! - Nice. 90 00:03:07,943 --> 00:03:10,244 Is this... This is built-in, they call it, right? This wood. 91 00:03:10,279 --> 00:03:11,612 [chuckles] It's built-in, yeah. 92 00:03:11,664 --> 00:03:12,613 Very fancy, man. 93 00:03:12,665 --> 00:03:13,914 Wow. What can I tell you? 94 00:03:13,949 --> 00:03:15,365 The house came with the job, you know? 95 00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:17,117 - Wood came with the house. - That's hilarious. 96 00:03:17,169 --> 00:03:19,703 You still kind of talk like you write. 97 00:03:19,705 --> 00:03:21,588 [chuckles] And you're still full of shit. 98 00:03:21,624 --> 00:03:23,006 [chuckles] Okay. 99 00:03:23,042 --> 00:03:24,708 Well, this sounds literary. 100 00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,043 Aww. There she is. 101 00:03:26,045 --> 00:03:27,544 - There she is. - Hi. 102 00:03:27,596 --> 00:03:28,929 Hi. 103 00:03:28,964 --> 00:03:30,047 - Wow! - Wow, look at you! 104 00:03:30,049 --> 00:03:31,465 Nice to see you. 105 00:03:31,517 --> 00:03:33,550 Nice to see you. You haven't changed since Boston. 106 00:03:33,552 --> 00:03:34,551 Aww. 107 00:03:34,553 --> 00:03:35,802 You even kiss the same. 108 00:03:35,855 --> 00:03:37,721 - [chuckles] - Ohh. Wait. Come on. 109 00:03:37,723 --> 00:03:38,972 - Honey. - [stammers] What are you, freaked out? 110 00:03:39,024 --> 00:03:40,224 - It was a long time ago. - [laughs] 111 00:03:40,226 --> 00:03:41,558 - No, no. - It's behind us, right? 112 00:03:41,610 --> 00:03:43,143 You were desperate and out of control 113 00:03:43,195 --> 00:03:45,562 and [chuckles] you, you know, had a... 114 00:03:45,614 --> 00:03:47,064 body that wouldn't quit... literally. 115 00:03:47,066 --> 00:03:48,282 It literally wouldn't quit. 116 00:03:48,317 --> 00:03:49,900 - [laughs] - [laughs] Come on. 117 00:03:49,902 --> 00:03:51,568 It's, you know, if that hadn't happened, right, 118 00:03:51,620 --> 00:03:53,620 you probably wouldn't have written that first play. 119 00:03:53,656 --> 00:03:55,489 [laughter] 120 00:03:55,541 --> 00:03:58,325 Well, who wants a bourbon? Huh? Yeah? 121 00:03:58,377 --> 00:03:59,459 Oh, I-I don't. 122 00:03:59,495 --> 00:04:01,078 - Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah. Yeah. 123 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,212 - No, it's fine. It's fine. - You're right. Okay. 124 00:04:02,248 --> 00:04:03,580 Well, I'm gonna have one. 125 00:04:03,632 --> 00:04:05,582 - [laughs] Okay. All right. - Okay. 126 00:04:05,584 --> 00:04:07,084 [inhales deeply] 127 00:04:07,086 --> 00:04:09,303 - Hey. Come on. Come on. - All right. All right. 128 00:04:09,338 --> 00:04:11,421 - Ah, you feel good. - W-We're grown-ups now. 129 00:04:11,473 --> 00:04:13,006 - What is that? - What is that?! 130 00:04:13,058 --> 00:04:14,841 - [laughs] - Come on. Don't do that. 131 00:04:14,894 --> 00:04:16,176 I don't know. 132 00:04:16,228 --> 00:04:17,761 What... I can't believe this place, man. 133 00:04:17,763 --> 00:04:19,646 I should have studied more in college. 134 00:04:19,682 --> 00:04:21,148 No. I write books, man. 135 00:04:21,183 --> 00:04:23,016 It's so 20th century. It's 19th century. 136 00:04:23,068 --> 00:04:24,351 - You... you're 21st century. - Yeah, but... 137 00:04:24,403 --> 00:04:25,986 You're on... you're on another level. 138 00:04:26,021 --> 00:04:28,272 All right, fine. But I live in a cabin compared to this. 139 00:04:28,324 --> 00:04:29,690 - I mean, you won. - No. 140 00:04:29,742 --> 00:04:31,108 - I think you've won. - No. 141 00:04:31,110 --> 00:04:32,659 Still with the reverse dick-measuring. 142 00:04:32,695 --> 00:04:34,111 You two are amazing. 143 00:04:34,163 --> 00:04:35,279 - I miss you guys. - Oh, we miss you. 144 00:04:35,331 --> 00:04:36,947 Honey, we got to go. 145 00:04:36,949 --> 00:04:38,865 - Okay. - Really? Just like that, you're gonna... 146 00:04:38,918 --> 00:04:40,550 - See you. Love you. Okay. - All right. 147 00:04:40,586 --> 00:04:42,286 You'll show me the house later? 148 00:04:42,288 --> 00:04:44,004 Uh, yeah. Honey, just put his stuff upstairs, please. 149 00:04:44,039 --> 00:04:45,205 You got it. 150 00:04:45,257 --> 00:04:46,707 - I'm gonna take this bag. - Okay. Yep. 151 00:04:46,759 --> 00:04:47,708 - Okay. - All right. 152 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,009 - Bye, hon. - Bye! 153 00:04:49,044 --> 00:04:50,294 Kind of a long kiss with Marc. 154 00:04:50,346 --> 00:04:51,595 - Honey, stop. - Okay. 155 00:04:57,937 --> 00:04:59,186 Jesus. They're kids. 156 00:04:59,221 --> 00:05:01,188 No, they're not. No, they're not. 157 00:05:01,223 --> 00:05:02,472 I'm telling you, man. 158 00:05:02,524 --> 00:05:03,890 This generation is different, man. 159 00:05:03,943 --> 00:05:05,142 They're like... They're... 160 00:05:05,194 --> 00:05:06,560 emotionally, they're right there with us. 161 00:05:06,612 --> 00:05:07,945 - Really? - Yeah. 162 00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:09,062 All right. So, what's the deal here? 163 00:05:09,114 --> 00:05:10,397 When's everyone coming? 164 00:05:10,449 --> 00:05:12,816 Pal, this is everybody. Okay? You ready? 165 00:05:12,868 --> 00:05:14,484 [sighs] Yeah. 166 00:05:14,536 --> 00:05:16,653 All right. Guys, here he is, huh? 167 00:05:16,655 --> 00:05:19,072 The moment you've all been waiting for. 168 00:05:19,124 --> 00:05:21,041 This is my old pal Marc Maron. 169 00:05:21,076 --> 00:05:24,211 He is a stand-up comedian. You know that. He's an author. 170 00:05:24,246 --> 00:05:28,215 He is, most impressively, a pioneer of new media, okay? 171 00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,917 He hosts an incredibly popular podcast 172 00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:33,837 which he famously records in his garage, guys. 173 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:37,007 Oh, wow. When you say it like that, it sounds so sad. 174 00:05:37,059 --> 00:05:39,509 Hi. How are you? 175 00:05:39,561 --> 00:05:41,511 Uh... 176 00:05:41,513 --> 00:05:43,096 Wow. I'm at a college. 177 00:05:43,148 --> 00:05:44,931 That's... Okay. 178 00:05:44,984 --> 00:05:46,933 Lenny Bruce was about freedom of speech. 179 00:05:46,986 --> 00:05:50,070 Richard Pryor was about vulnerability. 180 00:05:50,105 --> 00:05:53,240 Bill Hicks was about blowing minds. 181 00:05:53,275 --> 00:05:56,159 But the one thing they all had in common was authenticity. 182 00:05:56,195 --> 00:05:57,744 What's interesting about authenticity now... 183 00:05:57,780 --> 00:05:59,029 and stay with me... 184 00:05:59,081 --> 00:06:01,698 is that the Zeitgeist is so fragmented 185 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:05,118 that authenticity has become like just another niche. 186 00:06:05,170 --> 00:06:07,587 "Zeitgeist"? [scoffs] Really? 187 00:06:07,623 --> 00:06:08,955 [chuckles] 188 00:06:09,008 --> 00:06:11,208 Academic heckling? Is that a thing? Really? 189 00:06:12,127 --> 00:06:16,463 Anyways, what I was saying is, not unlike Zizek stated, 190 00:06:16,515 --> 00:06:19,916 the main point of any authentic act 191 00:06:19,952 --> 00:06:22,552 is to gain free action. 192 00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,221 Like, with Lenny Bruce, for instance... 193 00:06:24,273 --> 00:06:26,973 Okay, it's pronounced "Zhee-zhek." 194 00:06:27,026 --> 00:06:29,476 And what he said was, the main point 195 00:06:29,528 --> 00:06:32,062 in any authentic act is to gain free action 196 00:06:32,114 --> 00:06:33,980 and, in so doing, 197 00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:36,149 to renounce the transgressive fantasmatic supplement 198 00:06:36,201 --> 00:06:37,234 that attaches us to... 199 00:06:37,269 --> 00:06:39,169 Impressive, Tina. 200 00:06:39,204 --> 00:06:40,570 "Fantasmatic"? 201 00:06:40,622 --> 00:06:42,072 Philosophy. 202 00:06:42,074 --> 00:06:43,657 Oh, it's its own language. 203 00:06:43,709 --> 00:06:47,294 Uh, why don't we, uh, switch over to Q&A, guys? 204 00:06:47,329 --> 00:06:49,463 So, uh, questions for Marc? 205 00:06:49,498 --> 00:06:52,299 Uh, interview technique, new media, content options? 206 00:06:52,334 --> 00:06:53,300 Yeah, Hooper? 207 00:06:53,335 --> 00:06:54,918 What's Iggy Pop like? 208 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,753 [chuckles] He was cool. 209 00:06:56,755 --> 00:06:59,589 He did the entire interview shirtless. That was a first. 210 00:06:59,591 --> 00:07:02,342 Can we talk a little bit about your process? 211 00:07:02,394 --> 00:07:06,012 How do you... how do you prepare for one of your podcasts? 212 00:07:06,065 --> 00:07:07,931 Well, I don't do a lot of preparation. 213 00:07:07,983 --> 00:07:09,850 I like to be as spontaneous as possible 214 00:07:09,902 --> 00:07:11,935 'cause I think when you're in the moment, 215 00:07:11,937 --> 00:07:14,271 it's... you have a better shot at being authentic. 216 00:07:14,323 --> 00:07:16,356 So you mean "lazy"? 217 00:07:16,408 --> 00:07:18,775 Mnh. How long did it take you to prepare that question? 218 00:07:18,827 --> 00:07:21,027 So... preparation's a bad thing? 219 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,362 I didn't say that. 220 00:07:22,414 --> 00:07:24,831 Okay. I was just asking. 221 00:07:24,867 --> 00:07:27,033 Oh, is that what you were doing? Just asking? 222 00:07:27,086 --> 00:07:28,952 Marc Maron. Marc Maron! 223 00:07:29,004 --> 00:07:31,671 - Hey. - That's great. Hey, man. Hey. 224 00:07:31,707 --> 00:07:33,039 - Thanks so much, man. - Hey, buddy. 225 00:07:33,092 --> 00:07:34,508 - That was great. - Yeah, it was great. 226 00:07:34,543 --> 00:07:36,460 It was great. It was great. Hey. 227 00:07:36,512 --> 00:07:38,512 Came all the way down here, left... Where's that? 228 00:07:38,547 --> 00:07:40,130 - Highland Park? - Yeah, Highland Park. 229 00:07:40,132 --> 00:07:41,381 What the hell was that? 230 00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:42,883 What? 231 00:07:42,935 --> 00:07:44,468 Don't go old Maron on me, man. You did great. 232 00:07:44,470 --> 00:07:46,186 You should teach a course on the new authenticity. 233 00:07:46,221 --> 00:07:47,521 - What, are you mocking me? - [chuckling] I'm not mocking you. 234 00:07:47,556 --> 00:07:49,055 That sounds like a bullshit thesis. 235 00:07:49,108 --> 00:07:50,640 Yeah, and I'm sure somebody's writing it, man. 236 00:07:50,692 --> 00:07:52,142 I mean, you have entered the culture. 237 00:07:52,144 --> 00:07:54,194 You've single-handedly forged a new genre. 238 00:07:54,229 --> 00:07:55,862 You know, you define the medium. 239 00:07:55,898 --> 00:07:58,231 Yeah, but you could have told me about that one. 240 00:07:58,283 --> 00:08:00,200 Jesus, man. When'd you get so sensitive? 241 00:08:00,235 --> 00:08:02,152 You weren't the one being Zeitgeisted! 242 00:08:02,204 --> 00:08:04,654 If I knew it was 12 little assholes, I would have Skyped. 243 00:08:04,656 --> 00:08:06,373 Oh, that's nice. 244 00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:09,180 Listen. 245 00:08:09,216 --> 00:08:11,299 I want to apologize. 246 00:08:11,301 --> 00:08:12,801 I'm actually a huge fan. 247 00:08:12,853 --> 00:08:14,469 Yeah? 248 00:08:14,471 --> 00:08:16,521 Wow. How do you treat people you don't like? 249 00:08:16,556 --> 00:08:18,690 [chuckles] I'm sorry, but really? 250 00:08:18,725 --> 00:08:21,893 When you mentioned Zizek, I could just smell the Google. 251 00:08:21,945 --> 00:08:24,479 What? Come on. 252 00:08:24,481 --> 00:08:26,030 Look, I have to go. 253 00:08:26,066 --> 00:08:28,316 But I just wanted you to know I love your work. 254 00:08:30,237 --> 00:08:32,036 Nobody's doing what you're doing. 255 00:08:32,072 --> 00:08:33,037 - Mnh. - Bye, Jack. 256 00:08:33,073 --> 00:08:34,322 Tina. 257 00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:39,410 I know. I know. That one's a problem. 258 00:08:39,462 --> 00:08:41,212 No shit. 259 00:08:41,248 --> 00:08:42,997 No, I m... I mean... [clears throat] 260 00:08:43,049 --> 00:08:44,916 she's real... she's really a problem. 261 00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:48,002 She's... she's my T.A. 262 00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:52,006 And I, uh, I sl... I slept with her. 263 00:08:52,058 --> 00:08:53,391 - So... - Oh, man. 264 00:08:53,426 --> 00:08:54,893 You're in trouble. 265 00:08:54,928 --> 00:08:57,228 No. No, no. No. I mean, it was one time. 266 00:08:57,264 --> 00:08:59,514 You know, it was a mistake. I-It was... 267 00:08:59,566 --> 00:09:00,682 Everything's... 268 00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:02,734 It was a great mistake. 269 00:09:02,769 --> 00:09:04,152 But everything's... 270 00:09:06,189 --> 00:09:07,739 ...good. 271 00:09:07,774 --> 00:09:09,607 Yeah? 272 00:09:09,659 --> 00:09:12,861 [indistinct conversations] 273 00:09:12,863 --> 00:09:14,946 [soft piano music plays] 274 00:09:16,616 --> 00:09:17,949 Yeah, I'd like to. Sure. 275 00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:19,450 You want to meet some more? 276 00:09:19,502 --> 00:09:21,870 - I'd like to meet some people. - Okay. 277 00:09:21,922 --> 00:09:25,006 - Uh, Dorian Trask. Marc Maron. - Hi. 278 00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:26,541 - Comp lit. - Oh, really? Comp lit. 279 00:09:26,593 --> 00:09:28,293 That's interesting. I was just reading, uh... 280 00:09:28,345 --> 00:09:30,628 So, I hear Mindy got $2 mil for her book. 281 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:31,713 You believe that? 282 00:09:31,715 --> 00:09:33,715 Mindy K-Ka-Kaling? 283 00:09:33,767 --> 00:09:34,766 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 284 00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:36,217 Are you kidding me? 285 00:09:36,269 --> 00:09:38,937 No. I mean, can you believe that? $2 mil? 286 00:09:38,972 --> 00:09:41,639 I... You're comp lit, and we're talking about Mindy Kaling? 287 00:09:41,691 --> 00:09:42,774 Is the world ending? 288 00:09:42,809 --> 00:09:44,475 - [laughter] - No, it's not. 289 00:09:44,527 --> 00:09:47,312 This is William Schneider... Dean. Seriously funny guy. 290 00:09:47,364 --> 00:09:48,897 - Hi. How are you? - Marc Maron. 291 00:09:48,899 --> 00:09:51,115 You see those nudes of Kim Kardashian's butt? 292 00:09:51,151 --> 00:09:54,152 Wait. Kardashian's ass? Is that... is that the topic? 293 00:09:54,204 --> 00:09:55,820 I'd like to bury my face in that meme, 294 00:09:55,872 --> 00:09:57,121 if you know what I'm saying. 295 00:09:57,157 --> 00:09:58,573 [laughter] 296 00:09:58,625 --> 00:09:59,958 The world is ending. Is that the topic? 297 00:09:59,993 --> 00:10:01,576 This is what you... you guys talk about? 298 00:10:01,628 --> 00:10:02,627 We're off the clock. 299 00:10:02,662 --> 00:10:04,913 [laughter] 300 00:10:04,965 --> 00:10:06,414 All right, all right. 301 00:10:06,416 --> 00:10:08,299 - Don't look now, but Tina just walked in. - Okay. 302 00:10:08,335 --> 00:10:09,490 Why... 303 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,136 Don't say "don't look now" to somebody, because then they... 304 00:10:12,172 --> 00:10:13,755 - Oh, God. Okay. Damn it. - What? 305 00:10:13,807 --> 00:10:15,590 You got to go talk to her. 306 00:10:15,592 --> 00:10:17,675 I just don't want things to seem weird, so just, please... 307 00:10:17,727 --> 00:10:20,094 Weird how? I mean, I'm already drowning in weird here. 308 00:10:20,146 --> 00:10:21,930 - Just go. Go make... - All right. Okay. 309 00:10:21,932 --> 00:10:23,598 - ...ch-ch-ch-ch-chitchat. - Okay. 310 00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,770 I wanted to be a writer 'cause I think I... 311 00:10:28,822 --> 00:10:30,154 I have novels in my head, 312 00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:32,941 but I just... I never could... you know... 313 00:10:32,943 --> 00:10:34,609 - Write them? - Yes. 314 00:10:34,661 --> 00:10:35,827 That was the problem. 315 00:10:35,862 --> 00:10:37,111 - Exactly. - Yes. 316 00:10:37,163 --> 00:10:38,863 Writing takes discipline. 317 00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:40,448 Oh, yeah? Well, what do you know about discipline? 318 00:10:40,450 --> 00:10:41,950 Oh, don't be a dick. 319 00:10:42,002 --> 00:10:43,835 - Wow. - You know I'm right. 320 00:10:43,870 --> 00:10:45,453 Okay. 321 00:10:45,455 --> 00:10:48,172 So, when did the gene for relentless ball-buster 322 00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:49,290 kick in with you? 323 00:10:49,292 --> 00:10:50,875 Oh, shut up! [chuckles] 324 00:10:50,927 --> 00:10:51,876 Come on. 325 00:10:51,928 --> 00:10:53,294 You know you like it. 326 00:10:53,296 --> 00:10:55,013 Oh, really? Now you know what I like? 327 00:10:55,048 --> 00:10:55,964 Mm-hmm. 328 00:10:55,999 --> 00:10:57,632 Hmm. Okay. 329 00:10:57,684 --> 00:10:59,550 Marc. 330 00:10:59,602 --> 00:11:01,519 I see you've met Tina. 331 00:11:01,554 --> 00:11:03,554 I-I have. She was at my lecture today. 332 00:11:03,606 --> 00:11:05,306 Or whatever it was. 333 00:11:05,358 --> 00:11:07,141 It was life-changing. 334 00:11:07,193 --> 00:11:09,310 So... how are the cats? 335 00:11:09,362 --> 00:11:11,479 Pretty good. Cats are good. 336 00:11:11,514 --> 00:11:13,481 How about you? What's going on with you? 337 00:11:13,483 --> 00:11:14,899 You still painting? 338 00:11:14,951 --> 00:11:17,986 Uh, no. No. I just, like, kind of stopped. 339 00:11:17,988 --> 00:11:19,988 Oh. Well, maybe you'll pick it up again. 340 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,539 Yeah. 341 00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:23,658 I'm gonna go. 342 00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:25,827 I have to grade some papers... 343 00:11:25,829 --> 00:11:27,712 or, as I like to call it, 344 00:11:27,747 --> 00:11:30,882 crushing the dreams of some undergrad students. 345 00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:32,000 Mm. 346 00:11:32,001 --> 00:11:33,717 [Marc stammers] 347 00:11:33,753 --> 00:11:35,837 She's a bit much. 348 00:11:35,839 --> 00:11:37,839 It's not quite the same thing as... 349 00:11:37,891 --> 00:11:39,674 Mm! Mm-hmm. 350 00:11:39,726 --> 00:11:42,010 - Yeah, I'll say. - Yeah. 351 00:11:44,481 --> 00:11:45,563 [groans] 352 00:11:45,598 --> 00:11:47,015 What the hell was that, Jack?! 353 00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:49,567 I-I mean, I just saw your graduate student Tina 354 00:11:49,602 --> 00:11:51,853 grab your balls in the middle of a party. 355 00:11:51,905 --> 00:11:52,937 Huh?! 356 00:11:53,023 --> 00:11:54,188 Sit down. Just sit down. 357 00:11:54,190 --> 00:11:56,107 Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. 358 00:11:56,159 --> 00:11:58,693 Listen, this shit is bad. 359 00:11:58,745 --> 00:12:01,696 I mean, it's really bad. She's blackmailing me. 360 00:12:01,748 --> 00:12:04,032 All right, she says if I stop sleeping with her, 361 00:12:04,034 --> 00:12:06,200 she's gonna... she's gonna tell Meg, man. 362 00:12:06,202 --> 00:12:07,585 Jesus, Jack. 363 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:10,455 I know! I know! I know! I could lose my tenure. 364 00:12:10,507 --> 00:12:12,373 I could lose my job... everything. 365 00:12:12,425 --> 00:12:15,093 I mean, this thing is... i-i-it's wrecking my life! 366 00:12:15,128 --> 00:12:17,712 W-W-What are you thinking? 367 00:12:17,764 --> 00:12:19,964 I'm thinking... 368 00:12:21,017 --> 00:12:22,550 Oh, come on. 369 00:12:22,602 --> 00:12:26,971 "These are a 24-year-old's panties" is what I'm thinking. 370 00:12:27,023 --> 00:12:29,807 Can I tell you something? I'm writing like crazy. 371 00:12:29,859 --> 00:12:31,225 All r... Okay. 372 00:12:31,227 --> 00:12:32,977 You know, like... like I haven't in years. 373 00:12:33,029 --> 00:12:35,947 Okay, well, that's... that's... that's a good thing. 374 00:12:35,982 --> 00:12:37,982 Look, I need a favor. Okay? 375 00:12:38,034 --> 00:12:39,400 I-I'm not killing Meg. 376 00:12:39,402 --> 00:12:41,119 No, you don't have to kill Meg. All right? 377 00:12:41,154 --> 00:12:42,737 You just have to talk to Tina. 378 00:12:42,772 --> 00:12:43,988 We go back, man. 379 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,957 You're the only one I can turn to. 380 00:12:45,992 --> 00:12:47,658 Oh, okay. So, this is it? 381 00:12:47,710 --> 00:12:49,660 So you had me up here to go to talk to 382 00:12:49,746 --> 00:12:51,662 your little blackmailing prot?g? to... 383 00:12:51,714 --> 00:12:52,663 [whimpers] 384 00:12:52,715 --> 00:12:53,998 I-I get it. 385 00:12:54,050 --> 00:12:54,999 [cries] 386 00:12:55,051 --> 00:12:56,250 Oh, come on. 387 00:12:56,252 --> 00:13:00,505 I'm just not doing very well. 388 00:13:00,557 --> 00:13:02,507 [sobbing] I'm really trying hard. 389 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:03,674 I just... 390 00:13:03,726 --> 00:13:06,094 All right. Just stop crying in the panties! 391 00:13:06,146 --> 00:13:08,179 Okay. Okay. Okay. 392 00:13:08,231 --> 00:13:09,347 [coughs] 393 00:13:09,399 --> 00:13:11,632 Okay. Okay. Listen. 394 00:13:11,668 --> 00:13:13,017 All you got to do... 395 00:13:13,069 --> 00:13:15,520 all you got to do... 396 00:13:15,572 --> 00:13:17,855 is just go to her house, okay? 397 00:13:17,907 --> 00:13:21,692 And just tell her to back off. 398 00:13:21,744 --> 00:13:22,777 Okay? 399 00:13:22,779 --> 00:13:24,996 - Okay? Okay. - Yeah. 400 00:13:25,031 --> 00:13:26,664 - All right. All right. - Okay? Okay. 401 00:13:26,699 --> 00:13:28,282 Just try to get ahold of yourself. 402 00:13:28,334 --> 00:13:29,617 - Okay. - Lay off the panties. 403 00:13:29,619 --> 00:13:30,715 Okay. 404 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,050 Hi. 405 00:13:38,102 --> 00:13:39,385 What? 406 00:13:39,437 --> 00:13:41,804 I'm here to see my niece. 407 00:13:41,856 --> 00:13:44,140 [indistinct conversations, guitar playing] 408 00:13:51,733 --> 00:13:53,733 Why do you live in a dorm? 409 00:13:53,785 --> 00:13:55,201 - I'm an R.A. - Mm. 410 00:13:55,236 --> 00:13:56,702 Free room and board. 411 00:13:56,738 --> 00:13:58,905 What's it to you, little man? 412 00:13:58,957 --> 00:14:00,990 Look, don't start, all right? You know why I'm here. 413 00:14:01,042 --> 00:14:04,327 You got to leave Jack alone. He's losing his mind. 414 00:14:04,379 --> 00:14:05,661 Is he? 415 00:14:05,663 --> 00:14:07,830 How about you? 416 00:14:07,832 --> 00:14:09,715 Are you losing your mind? 417 00:14:09,751 --> 00:14:11,884 Don't... Just... stop it. 418 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,203 All right? I'm here for my friend. 419 00:14:14,239 --> 00:14:15,388 Oh, is that right? 420 00:14:15,423 --> 00:14:17,173 Yeah. 421 00:14:20,178 --> 00:14:23,095 Yeah. But y-you really... don't... 422 00:14:23,147 --> 00:14:24,514 I'm... I'm serious. 423 00:14:24,516 --> 00:14:26,516 So, what did he tell you, anyway? 424 00:14:26,568 --> 00:14:28,601 He said you were ruining his life, 425 00:14:28,653 --> 00:14:30,686 that you were holding him hostage, 426 00:14:30,688 --> 00:14:33,189 threatening to talk if he stops screwing you. 427 00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:35,191 Well, then I must be a bad girl. 428 00:14:35,243 --> 00:14:36,576 Yeah. 429 00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:39,912 So, what are you gonna do about it, huh? 430 00:14:39,948 --> 00:14:43,282 Uh, well... 431 00:14:43,334 --> 00:14:45,117 probably hurt myself. 432 00:14:45,169 --> 00:14:46,168 Yeah? 433 00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:51,457 Jack's the reason I came to this school. 434 00:14:51,509 --> 00:14:54,210 I mean, his first novel changed my life. 435 00:14:54,262 --> 00:14:57,296 But that book was 20 years ago. 436 00:14:57,348 --> 00:14:59,765 Everything since then has been total crap. 437 00:14:59,801 --> 00:15:01,050 That's a little harsh. 438 00:15:01,052 --> 00:15:02,969 I mean, even if you're right... 439 00:15:03,021 --> 00:15:04,887 No, you know I'm right. 440 00:15:04,889 --> 00:15:06,472 I mean... he used to write 441 00:15:06,524 --> 00:15:09,559 these real, like, big-dick sentences. 442 00:15:09,561 --> 00:15:10,726 Yeah. So? 443 00:15:10,728 --> 00:15:12,603 - I'm his muse. - Oh. 444 00:15:12,639 --> 00:15:14,780 I mean, you know Jack better than anybody. 445 00:15:14,816 --> 00:15:17,600 He does his best work in chaos and dread. 446 00:15:17,635 --> 00:15:20,236 What do you do when you're not destroying other people's lives? 447 00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:22,071 I write about destroying other people's lives. 448 00:15:22,123 --> 00:15:23,739 All right, so you're a monster. 449 00:15:23,741 --> 00:15:24,907 And you're a pussy. 450 00:15:24,909 --> 00:15:26,459 Why would you... What? 451 00:15:26,494 --> 00:15:28,244 [chuckling] I mean, 452 00:15:28,246 --> 00:15:31,080 I'd never actually tell his wife. 453 00:15:31,082 --> 00:15:32,582 An artist just... 454 00:15:32,584 --> 00:15:35,501 just needs danger to get the juices flowing. 455 00:15:35,553 --> 00:15:36,969 Oh, so you're helping him. 456 00:15:37,005 --> 00:15:38,588 Well, he's writing, isn't he? 457 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,007 Well, how long do you plan on torturing this guy? 458 00:15:41,059 --> 00:15:42,174 30 more pages. 459 00:15:42,226 --> 00:15:43,643 Yeah? Of whose book... yours or his? 460 00:15:43,678 --> 00:15:46,429 Mm, I was thinking a simultaneous release. 461 00:15:46,481 --> 00:15:49,482 Okay. So you're some kind of evil genius. 462 00:15:49,517 --> 00:15:51,150 I'm not an evil genius. 463 00:15:51,185 --> 00:15:53,769 I'm just a strong woman who screws like a guy. 464 00:15:53,821 --> 00:15:57,490 And why do you elder cocks have so much trouble with that? 465 00:15:57,525 --> 00:15:58,858 Elder cock?! 466 00:15:58,910 --> 00:15:59,909 I like it. 467 00:15:59,944 --> 00:16:01,110 Yeah? 468 00:16:01,112 --> 00:16:02,612 It's like my cock has wisdom. 469 00:16:02,614 --> 00:16:04,780 Well, not only wisdom, 470 00:16:04,782 --> 00:16:08,334 but some craft and some skill, Mr. Maron. 471 00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:11,671 Oh, you're too kind. Thank you. 472 00:16:11,706 --> 00:16:13,089 Mm. 473 00:16:17,011 --> 00:16:18,294 Look. 474 00:16:18,296 --> 00:16:20,046 I admire you, Maron. 475 00:16:20,098 --> 00:16:22,632 I mean, your podcasts were hugely influential 476 00:16:22,684 --> 00:16:24,383 in freeing me up creatively. 477 00:16:24,435 --> 00:16:26,469 You were my favorite comic in high school. 478 00:16:26,521 --> 00:16:27,803 Glad to help out. 479 00:16:27,805 --> 00:16:29,472 Maybe I can help you, too. 480 00:16:29,524 --> 00:16:31,474 Oh, yeah? How do you think that? 481 00:16:31,526 --> 00:16:34,143 I mean, like, you don't even know me, really. 482 00:16:34,145 --> 00:16:36,145 Well, uh... 483 00:16:36,197 --> 00:16:37,897 I know you could lose a few pounds. 484 00:16:37,949 --> 00:16:39,148 What?! 485 00:16:40,318 --> 00:16:43,960 You're... awful. 486 00:16:44,410 --> 00:16:46,918 Is it possible to do great work 487 00:16:46,954 --> 00:16:49,454 without being miserable or insane? 488 00:16:49,506 --> 00:16:53,124 Do great artists need messy lives? 489 00:16:53,176 --> 00:16:56,561 I know it's a clich? question, it's a clich? idea, 490 00:16:56,597 --> 00:16:57,546 but it is what it is. 491 00:16:57,598 --> 00:16:59,130 Would Lou Reed be Lou Reed 492 00:16:59,132 --> 00:17:00,849 if he had skipped the smack and stuck to kale? 493 00:17:00,884 --> 00:17:02,717 And I'm not talking about Cale the guitar player. 494 00:17:02,769 --> 00:17:04,185 I'm talking about kale the vegetable. 495 00:17:04,221 --> 00:17:06,555 Would Norman Mailer be Norman Mailer 496 00:17:06,607 --> 00:17:09,808 had he not stabbed his wife with a pen knife? 497 00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:12,360 So, it's not a great example. It's a weird example. 498 00:17:12,396 --> 00:17:13,812 But I think you get the idea. 499 00:17:13,814 --> 00:17:16,314 Tortured lives... do we need them? 500 00:17:16,316 --> 00:17:17,949 Don't know the answer. 501 00:17:17,985 --> 00:17:20,089 I ask myself the question all the time. 502 00:17:20,125 --> 00:17:23,822 Not necessarily that... because I could stop it. 503 00:17:23,874 --> 00:17:26,992 I do know what's great about being a creative person 504 00:17:27,044 --> 00:17:29,661 or an artist as opposed to an accountant. 505 00:17:29,663 --> 00:17:31,830 I mean, if you're an artistic person, 506 00:17:31,832 --> 00:17:34,332 whether that's a painter or a stand-up comic 507 00:17:34,384 --> 00:17:37,168 or a writer, a musician, a poet... whatever it is... 508 00:17:37,170 --> 00:17:40,088 that the worst shit you go through is just fodder. 509 00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:43,174 It's just material or it's fuel for your creativity. 510 00:17:43,176 --> 00:17:44,893 It's some weird gift. 511 00:17:44,928 --> 00:17:46,845 If you're an accountant, 512 00:17:46,897 --> 00:17:50,065 it just makes you blow your brains out. 513 00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,566 Bye, sweetie. Mwah! Have a good class. 514 00:17:51,602 --> 00:17:52,567 Okay. Love you. 515 00:17:52,603 --> 00:17:53,935 - Ah. Marc. - Yes. 516 00:17:53,987 --> 00:17:55,854 It was so wonderful to see you again. 517 00:17:55,906 --> 00:17:57,522 Promise you'll come back soon. 518 00:17:57,524 --> 00:17:58,523 I will. 519 00:17:58,575 --> 00:18:00,191 Okay. 520 00:18:00,193 --> 00:18:01,860 Hey, Marc. 521 00:18:01,862 --> 00:18:03,028 Thank you. 522 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,779 For... what? 523 00:18:04,831 --> 00:18:06,615 O-Okay. 524 00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:15,423 MARC: Tina's not trying to destroy your life. 525 00:18:15,459 --> 00:18:16,791 She thinks she's helping. 526 00:18:16,843 --> 00:18:19,044 She wants you to write another great book. 527 00:18:19,046 --> 00:18:21,046 W-What, are you kidding? That's what she said?! 528 00:18:21,098 --> 00:18:22,213 Yeah. 529 00:18:22,215 --> 00:18:23,598 Oh, I don't know. [groaning] 530 00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,216 Look, man. 531 00:18:25,218 --> 00:18:27,886 All I know is that she's got a lot of love for you, Jack. 532 00:18:27,888 --> 00:18:29,721 [muffled] No, no, no. No, no, no. 533 00:18:29,773 --> 00:18:33,274 She's actually a-a really cool girl. 534 00:18:39,566 --> 00:18:41,149 You slept with her! 535 00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:42,450 - No! - You slept with her! 536 00:18:42,486 --> 00:18:43,451 - No, I did not! - Yes, you did! 537 00:18:43,487 --> 00:18:44,452 - No, I didn't! - Yes, you did! 538 00:18:44,488 --> 00:18:45,403 No, I didn't! 539 00:18:45,405 --> 00:18:46,571 Yes, you did! 540 00:18:46,573 --> 00:18:47,989 Okay, I did! Don't break my glasses! 541 00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:49,174 No! No! 542 00:18:49,209 --> 00:18:50,291 What are you freaking out about? 543 00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:51,576 Why?! Why would you... 544 00:18:51,578 --> 00:18:52,994 What did you think was gonna happen? 545 00:18:53,046 --> 00:18:54,829 I don't know! [whimpers] 546 00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:56,581 She's just trying to help, Jack. 547 00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:57,749 Help me?! 548 00:18:57,801 --> 00:18:58,800 She's just trying to help. 549 00:18:58,835 --> 00:18:59,834 I need help?! 550 00:18:59,886 --> 00:19:00,835 All right! 551 00:19:00,887 --> 00:19:02,253 [whimpers] Why? 552 00:19:02,255 --> 00:19:04,422 I'm trying to help. I was trying to help. 553 00:19:04,424 --> 00:19:06,174 No! Why... 554 00:19:06,226 --> 00:19:07,759 Do I look pudgy? 555 00:19:07,811 --> 00:19:10,345 D... do you look pudgy?! 556 00:19:10,397 --> 00:19:11,346 Yes! 557 00:19:11,398 --> 00:19:12,847 I'm dying here! 558 00:19:12,899 --> 00:19:14,983 My guts are coming out! 559 00:19:15,018 --> 00:19:16,017 Here are my guts! Here! Here! 560 00:19:16,069 --> 00:19:17,352 All right, all right! No! 561 00:19:17,404 --> 00:19:18,603 Now you're pudgy! Now you're pudgy! 562 00:19:18,605 --> 00:19:19,738 All right! 563 00:19:19,773 --> 00:19:22,774 Ohh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! 564 00:19:22,826 --> 00:19:24,192 All right. All right. 565 00:19:24,244 --> 00:19:26,611 Why? Why? Why'd you do it? 566 00:19:26,663 --> 00:19:30,949 [sobbing] Why did you put him inside of you? 567 00:19:30,951 --> 00:19:35,870 Why did you put him inside of you?! 568 00:19:35,922 --> 00:19:39,174 Why did you put him inside of you?! 569 00:19:39,209 --> 00:19:41,626 [sobbing continues] 570 00:19:41,628 --> 00:19:42,844 Oof. 571 00:19:42,879 --> 00:19:46,460 That seemed... uncalled-for. 572 00:19:47,801 --> 00:19:50,602 [keyboard clacking] 573 00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:01,813 [humming] 574 00:20:03,984 --> 00:20:05,734 Hey, we good, buddy? 575 00:20:05,786 --> 00:20:07,726 [breathes deeply] 576 00:20:07,761 --> 00:20:11,217 - Jack? - [sniffles, breathes deeply] 577 00:20:11,788 --> 00:20:14,325 I'm taking off, man. 578 00:20:14,377 --> 00:20:16,828 [sniffs] 579 00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:20,715 Hey, can't wait to read the new one. 580 00:20:20,801 --> 00:20:23,918 [muttering, sniffing] 581 00:20:33,588 --> 00:20:38,175 Here's to the long-suffering paramour 582 00:20:41,203 --> 00:20:47,412 With bloody fists still banging on the door 583 00:20:49,402 --> 00:20:51,905 Here's to the sorrow and the fury 584 00:20:51,941 --> 00:20:55,659 And all the coughed-up regret 585 00:20:56,430 --> 00:21:03,418 To devotion candles blinking in the darkness 586 00:21:03,453 --> 00:21:08,453 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 587 00:21:08,503 --> 00:21:13,053 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41607

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