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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,587 --> 00:00:03,587 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:04,788 --> 00:00:06,388 _ 3 00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:12,167 - Hey, man. - Hey. 4 00:00:12,287 --> 00:00:14,492 Uh, I was thinking about getting a tattoo here. 5 00:00:14,740 --> 00:00:15,125 All right. 6 00:00:15,442 --> 00:00:16,961 It looks like you already took all of them. 7 00:00:17,081 --> 00:00:19,030 Well, I mean, we also do piercings, 8 00:00:19,032 --> 00:00:20,932 branding, genital spearings... 9 00:00:21,552 --> 00:00:24,335 I think I only have time for the one mutilation today. 10 00:00:24,337 --> 00:00:26,771 I gotta make a big splash with my wife for Valentine's Day. 11 00:00:26,773 --> 00:00:28,206 I was thinking 12 00:00:28,439 --> 00:00:29,607 maybe something like that? 13 00:00:29,881 --> 00:00:30,742 You sure you want to get that? 14 00:00:31,086 --> 00:00:31,976 Tattoos are forever. 15 00:00:31,978 --> 00:00:33,611 - I gave it a lot of thought. - Okay. 16 00:00:33,613 --> 00:00:34,646 Where do you want to get it? 17 00:00:35,756 --> 00:00:36,327 Huh. 18 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,162 Good... good question. 19 00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:42,353 Hey, brother. 20 00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:43,586 In law. 21 00:00:43,830 --> 00:00:45,190 Want to see something cool? 22 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:46,178 Check it out! 23 00:00:46,677 --> 00:00:47,925 For Valentine's Day, 24 00:00:47,927 --> 00:00:49,227 I got Heather's name tattooed 25 00:00:49,229 --> 00:00:51,562 - on my shoulder. - Aw... oh... 26 00:00:51,564 --> 00:00:53,144 - "I heart Heater." - Ha-ha. 27 00:00:53,264 --> 00:00:55,160 No, it says "I heart Heather." 28 00:00:55,186 --> 00:00:57,418 No, dude, that says "I heart Heater." 29 00:00:57,980 --> 00:00:58,343 What? 30 00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:00,779 - I can't... - Okay. 31 00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:03,185 Uh, uh, Timmy, I'm just gonna take a picture of it. 32 00:01:03,305 --> 00:01:04,775 I'm gonna want this in a frame anyway. 33 00:01:06,445 --> 00:01:06,840 See? 34 00:01:08,221 --> 00:01:09,115 No! 35 00:01:09,538 --> 00:01:10,772 No! She held up a mirror, 36 00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:12,274 but, you know, I mean, it's like a haircut... 37 00:01:12,327 --> 00:01:13,992 after an hour, you're all out of conversation 38 00:01:14,021 --> 00:01:15,086 and you just want to get out of there. 39 00:01:15,088 --> 00:01:16,620 Your haircuts take an hour, do they? 40 00:01:16,622 --> 00:01:18,255 Look. This is what I wrote down. 41 00:01:18,844 --> 00:01:20,257 "I heart Heather." 42 00:01:20,259 --> 00:01:21,841 No, "I heart Heater." 43 00:01:21,885 --> 00:01:23,509 - That says "Heather"! - It... 44 00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,707 I'm a doctor! I have terrible penmanship. 45 00:01:25,975 --> 00:01:26,416 Well... 46 00:01:27,642 --> 00:01:28,509 Do you think if I go back in there, 47 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,833 she could squeeze an "H" in there? 48 00:01:29,953 --> 00:01:31,927 I don't think that you got the room, man. 49 00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:34,841 I mean, I think maybe she could squeeze a "T" in front. 50 00:01:34,859 --> 00:01:36,047 "I Heart... I Heart Theater." 51 00:01:36,383 --> 00:01:37,645 Yeah, but I don't heart theater. 52 00:01:37,695 --> 00:01:40,016 Not since that dude in a catsuit sat in my lap. 53 00:01:43,513 --> 00:01:44,463 Hey, Heater. 54 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,817 - "Heater"? - Yeah. 55 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,019 Yeah, I was thinking you need a nickname, 56 00:01:49,021 --> 00:01:51,188 so I'm gonna start calling you Heater. 57 00:01:52,077 --> 00:01:52,810 Why Heater? 58 00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:55,474 Well, because you keep me warm 59 00:01:55,503 --> 00:01:56,794 and you're hot 60 00:01:57,541 --> 00:01:59,563 and... portable. 61 00:01:59,565 --> 00:02:01,164 So... Heater. 62 00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,474 Yeah, I-I-I gotta say, 63 00:02:03,503 --> 00:02:04,809 - I'm not loving it. - No? 64 00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:07,204 You know, maybe we just stick to Honey or Pumpkin? 65 00:02:07,206 --> 00:02:09,132 No, I don't want to call you some kind of food. 66 00:02:09,155 --> 00:02:11,441 I want to call you something that gets food hot. 67 00:02:11,443 --> 00:02:12,853 - Mmm. - So get on over here, Heater. 68 00:02:12,895 --> 00:02:13,734 Keep Daddy warm. 69 00:02:13,770 --> 00:02:15,178 Okay, don't-don't call me that. 70 00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:17,013 And don't call yourself Daddy. 71 00:02:17,015 --> 00:02:17,722 Hey, Heater. 72 00:02:17,976 --> 00:02:19,116 Hey! Look at that! 73 00:02:19,118 --> 00:02:20,383 It's really catching on. 74 00:02:20,385 --> 00:02:22,319 (gasping): Ah... he's a good kid. 75 00:02:22,321 --> 00:02:24,487 Such a... good kid. 76 00:02:26,899 --> 00:02:29,386 HEATHER: "If you can't take the Heater, 77 00:02:29,952 --> 00:02:32,162 get out of her kitchen." 78 00:02:32,576 --> 00:02:33,453 Yeah. 79 00:02:34,918 --> 00:02:35,899 Huh. 80 00:02:39,256 --> 00:02:40,603 Happy Valentine's Day. 81 00:02:40,605 --> 00:02:41,417 (gasps) 82 00:02:42,374 --> 00:02:44,140 You didn't have to do that. 83 00:02:44,142 --> 00:02:45,775 Ah, no, yes, I did. 84 00:02:45,777 --> 00:02:47,377 I wanted to. And do you know why? 85 00:02:47,379 --> 00:02:49,679 Because, Heater, you are the love of my life, 86 00:02:49,681 --> 00:02:51,214 and I wanted to give you a gift that... 87 00:02:51,216 --> 00:02:53,283 No, y-you got to stop calling me that, okay? 88 00:02:53,285 --> 00:02:56,034 I-it makes me feel like a truck driver. 89 00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:59,222 It's weird and masculine and off-putting. 90 00:02:59,224 --> 00:03:00,990 Yeah, but you'll be true to your nickname 91 00:03:00,992 --> 00:03:02,659 - and you'll warm up to it, Heater. - Okay. 92 00:03:02,661 --> 00:03:05,700 Yeah, really. The more I hear it, the more turned off I get. 93 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,477 Okay, no. You don't need to take your robe off. 94 00:03:07,523 --> 00:03:08,364 That's the wrong direction. 95 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:09,834 If you call me that one more time, I... 96 00:03:10,072 --> 00:03:10,936 I don't have to. 97 00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:15,888 "I heart Heater"? 98 00:03:21,114 --> 00:03:22,979 That was supposed to say "Heather," wasn't it? 99 00:03:23,545 --> 00:03:24,154 I... 100 00:03:24,897 --> 00:03:26,881 I feel like I really blew it with the anniversary gift, 101 00:03:26,910 --> 00:03:28,784 so I wanted to get you something that was forever. 102 00:03:29,287 --> 00:03:31,139 I-I love that you did this. 103 00:03:31,259 --> 00:03:33,389 I love that you were willing 104 00:03:33,391 --> 00:03:35,958 to disfigure your body to prove that you love me. 105 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,827 (laughs) 106 00:03:38,996 --> 00:03:40,296 I do love you, Heather. 107 00:03:40,298 --> 00:03:41,364 I know you do. 108 00:03:41,366 --> 00:03:42,231 Yeah. 109 00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:43,395 Hey, you know what? 110 00:03:44,168 --> 00:03:45,448 For tonight... 111 00:03:46,468 --> 00:03:48,204 - I'll let you call me Heater. - All ri... aah! 112 00:03:48,206 --> 00:03:49,686 - Don't touch it, don't touch it! - I'm sorry, okay, I know. 113 00:03:49,806 --> 00:03:51,633 - It's fresh, it's fresh. - Ah... 114 00:03:54,707 --> 00:03:57,012 Hey, what are you guys doing for Valentine's Day? 115 00:03:57,014 --> 00:03:58,514 Oh, we're babysitting Lark. 116 00:03:58,516 --> 00:04:00,916 It's not babysitting if it's your kid. 117 00:04:01,423 --> 00:04:03,118 Yeah, well, Greg likes calling it that. 118 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,520 He thinks it makes it more fun. 119 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:06,288 - Oh. - He's not right. 120 00:04:06,777 --> 00:04:09,191 Well, fortunately, Colleen is not into Valentine's Day. 121 00:04:09,193 --> 00:04:10,959 - Ah. - Nah... I know what 122 00:04:10,961 --> 00:04:11,842 you both are going to say: 123 00:04:11,878 --> 00:04:13,544 that any woman whose favorite color is pink, 124 00:04:13,582 --> 00:04:14,626 has a dog named Princess 125 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,149 and wants to get married at Disneyland 126 00:04:16,186 --> 00:04:18,233 loves Valentine's Day, but she made it very clear. 127 00:04:18,235 --> 00:04:18,795 - Yeah... - Okay 128 00:04:18,838 --> 00:04:20,718 so when you hear yourself say that, 129 00:04:20,838 --> 00:04:23,238 do you think, (A) I'm an idiot. 130 00:04:23,537 --> 00:04:25,147 (B) I'm an idiot. 131 00:04:25,611 --> 00:04:28,176 (C) I'm an idiot. 132 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,108 or( D) All of the above? 133 00:04:34,485 --> 00:04:35,951 I gotta make dinner reservations. 134 00:04:35,953 --> 00:04:36,952 Mm-hmm. 135 00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:38,920 - I'm an idiot. - Yeah. 136 00:04:39,561 --> 00:04:40,117 Really? 137 00:04:40,237 --> 00:04:41,757 You got nothing at 7:00? 138 00:04:41,986 --> 00:04:44,426 Okay. Um... how about 8:00? 139 00:04:44,428 --> 00:04:46,628 9:00? 11:00. 140 00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:48,630 No, no. You're-you're absolutely right. 141 00:04:48,985 --> 00:04:50,732 I should have planned better. Thank you. 142 00:04:50,734 --> 00:04:53,935 You-you are, hands down, her favorite restaurant. 143 00:04:53,937 --> 00:04:56,004 Really? Nothing at 11:00? 144 00:04:56,006 --> 00:04:57,859 Well, then, let's-let's circle back around, shall we? 145 00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,941 6:00? 5:00. 4:00. 146 00:04:59,943 --> 00:05:03,044 Really? So you have no tables for two? 147 00:05:03,046 --> 00:05:04,913 Do you have any tables? 148 00:05:04,915 --> 00:05:06,047 Yeah, we'll take that. 149 00:05:06,049 --> 00:05:09,551 Thank you. Thank you. (sighs) 150 00:05:09,553 --> 00:05:11,252 Now, if you'll excuse me... 151 00:05:11,254 --> 00:05:11,845 - Okay. - Mm-hmm. 152 00:05:13,295 --> 00:05:14,656 Hey. Reservation for Short. 153 00:05:15,459 --> 00:05:16,858 Oh. Table for four. 154 00:05:16,860 --> 00:05:18,359 - Yeah. - Is your entire party here? 155 00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,094 They sure are. 156 00:05:20,096 --> 00:05:20,955 All right, troops, let's go! 157 00:05:22,009 --> 00:05:23,057 There's no one there, sir. 158 00:05:23,086 --> 00:05:24,148 You're talking to a coat rack. 159 00:05:26,144 --> 00:05:27,735 There were people in those coats a second ago. 160 00:05:27,737 --> 00:05:29,959 (both chuckle) No, they're all in the bathroom. 161 00:05:29,976 --> 00:05:30,991 We don't mind starting without them. 162 00:05:31,229 --> 00:05:32,489 I'm sorry, I can't seat you 163 00:05:32,515 --> 00:05:33,841 until your entire party is here. 164 00:05:34,173 --> 00:05:35,050 - Really? - Yeah. 165 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,512 - Why is that? - You wouldn't believe it, 166 00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:39,514 but sometimes couples try and beat the system 167 00:05:39,516 --> 00:05:41,126 on Valentine's Day by booking a four-top 168 00:05:41,169 --> 00:05:42,450 when all the two-tops are gone. 169 00:05:42,452 --> 00:05:44,018 Well, that is not us. 170 00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:45,048 I don't know if you could tell, 171 00:05:45,071 --> 00:05:47,660 but I fashion myself after Abraham Lincoln. 172 00:05:47,856 --> 00:05:49,190 - Hmm. - Old Honest Abe. 173 00:05:49,408 --> 00:05:50,416 - Mm-hmm. - You know, in fact, 174 00:05:50,536 --> 00:05:52,356 the president shows up from time to time. 175 00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,649 He's moved out of his log cabin, 176 00:05:53,685 --> 00:05:54,929 looking for a new place to live, 177 00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:56,397 perhaps in your pants. 178 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:57,732 I'm not wearing pants. 179 00:05:58,208 --> 00:05:59,568 - Perhaps in your... - Of any kind. 180 00:06:00,603 --> 00:06:02,303 Look, I'm sorry, but you have a 15-minute grace period, 181 00:06:02,305 --> 00:06:03,571 or I'm gonna have to give your table away. 182 00:06:04,751 --> 00:06:06,474 - Thank you. - Okay. 183 00:06:08,264 --> 00:06:09,243 Everything okay? 184 00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:10,778 Uh-huh, yeah. It's great. It's great. (giggles) 185 00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:12,951 You know... there's actually a proposal 186 00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:14,274 happening at our table right now. 187 00:06:14,309 --> 00:06:14,982 - No. (gasps) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 188 00:06:15,102 --> 00:06:16,345 But it's taking a little long 189 00:06:16,386 --> 00:06:18,599 because she can't find the ring in the souffl�, but it's okay, 190 00:06:18,613 --> 00:06:18,981 they're on it... 191 00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:20,032 - they're helping her dig it out. - Okay. 192 00:06:21,691 --> 00:06:22,271 You know, 193 00:06:23,671 --> 00:06:25,107 after all that time with Chad, 194 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,298 I just taught myself not to expect special days like this. 195 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,831 But, honestly, you bringing me here tonight 196 00:06:30,833 --> 00:06:32,141 restores my faith in love 197 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,636 and makes me feel like I'm worth it, finally. 198 00:06:36,888 --> 00:06:38,405 Wow, I'm really glad we're here. 199 00:06:38,525 --> 00:06:39,303 Yeah. 200 00:06:41,014 --> 00:06:42,810 Um, would you excuse me for a second? 201 00:06:45,380 --> 00:06:47,648 (laugh track plays on TV, phone buzzes) 202 00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:51,238 Hi. 203 00:06:51,501 --> 00:06:52,352 MATT: Hey, hey. 204 00:06:52,354 --> 00:06:53,687 Um, hey. Emergency. 205 00:06:53,689 --> 00:06:55,255 So I need you guys to meet me 206 00:06:55,257 --> 00:06:57,191 at a fancy dinner, like, you know, right this moment. 207 00:06:57,193 --> 00:07:00,556 Oh, yeah, well, we got a bunch of nerds on our front lawn 208 00:07:00,602 --> 00:07:01,929 taking pictures of a bird, 209 00:07:01,931 --> 00:07:03,931 and I'm eating shredded cheese with a baby spoon. 210 00:07:03,933 --> 00:07:06,201 So, no can doozle. 211 00:07:10,614 --> 00:07:11,538 There we go. 212 00:07:11,658 --> 00:07:12,716 Heather, it's Matt. I, uh... 213 00:07:12,763 --> 00:07:15,108 Yeah, I-I'm kind of busy over here. 214 00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:15,936 Who is it, Heater? 215 00:07:16,928 --> 00:07:17,833 Oh, my God, that worked? 216 00:07:18,258 --> 00:07:18,836 Bye. 217 00:07:23,217 --> 00:07:24,611 (groans) 218 00:07:26,322 --> 00:07:27,420 This is such a surprise. 219 00:07:27,422 --> 00:07:29,089 - Enjoy your meal. - Thanks. 220 00:07:29,091 --> 00:07:31,554 It's so sweet of you to include us 221 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,727 in your first Valentine's Day together. 222 00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:36,247 Remember our first one, Joanie? 223 00:07:36,298 --> 00:07:38,164 - We-we never even made it to dinner. - Oh. 224 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,213 - Oh. - Yeah. 225 00:07:40,266 --> 00:07:41,769 That was a long time ago. 226 00:07:41,811 --> 00:07:44,130 Well, you're just as beautiful now, darling. 227 00:07:44,961 --> 00:07:46,320 Come here, sweetheart. 228 00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:52,078 (both moaning) 229 00:07:54,715 --> 00:07:56,883 (both groan) 230 00:07:56,885 --> 00:07:58,117 Rib eye's looking tasty. 231 00:07:58,119 --> 00:07:59,786 Yep, wonder if it's got the bone in? 232 00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:01,354 - I shouldn't have said that. - No. 233 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,589 (moaning) 234 00:08:02,827 --> 00:08:03,790 This isn't as romantic 235 00:08:03,792 --> 00:08:05,124 as I'd hoped it was gonna be. 236 00:08:05,244 --> 00:08:06,254 I was just trying to give you 237 00:08:06,266 --> 00:08:07,627 a Valentine's Day you'd remember. 238 00:08:08,213 --> 00:08:09,559 (laughs) I'm gonna remember it. 239 00:08:09,582 --> 00:08:10,459 - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. 240 00:08:10,877 --> 00:08:12,291 And not just because your dad 241 00:08:12,309 --> 00:08:14,267 thinks that my foot is your mom's. 242 00:08:14,445 --> 00:08:15,545 Hmm? Oh. 243 00:08:15,977 --> 00:08:17,830 - Uh, sorry, sweetheart. - Oh! 244 00:08:17,860 --> 00:08:18,636 So sorry. 245 00:08:19,683 --> 00:08:21,332 - No, no, no... - No, no... 246 00:08:21,358 --> 00:08:22,809 - That's... - Are you guys hungry? 247 00:08:24,645 --> 00:08:26,324 I want you to go back to that store 248 00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:27,708 and I want you to get your guitar. 249 00:08:28,213 --> 00:08:30,568 - Come on. - Thanks. 250 00:08:30,586 --> 00:08:33,099 - Go pretend to be the man you'll never be. - I will. 251 00:08:33,536 --> 00:08:35,436 _ 252 00:08:37,246 --> 00:08:38,035 This one's cool. 253 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,196 I have underwear this color. 254 00:08:39,198 --> 00:08:40,464 Oh, I haven't seen those. 255 00:08:40,466 --> 00:08:42,065 They like boy shorts or like...? 256 00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,554 (Irish brogue): I can get you a good deal on that. 257 00:08:44,813 --> 00:08:45,702 Is it any good? 258 00:08:45,950 --> 00:08:46,722 You tell me. 259 00:09:06,795 --> 00:09:07,791 Nice. 260 00:09:07,793 --> 00:09:09,059 That is the worst riff 261 00:09:09,179 --> 00:09:10,460 I've ever played in my life. 262 00:09:10,707 --> 00:09:11,428 I wouldn't sell it to you 263 00:09:11,430 --> 00:09:12,293 even if you wanted me to. 264 00:09:13,958 --> 00:09:14,446 Do you play? 265 00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:15,899 Um, rhythm guitar. 266 00:09:15,901 --> 00:09:17,167 It's actually for me. 267 00:09:17,526 --> 00:09:18,069 May I? 268 00:09:20,871 --> 00:09:22,505 Long nails on your right hand. 269 00:09:22,507 --> 00:09:24,174 Short nails on your left because, 270 00:09:24,176 --> 00:09:25,842 well, you finger with it. 271 00:09:25,844 --> 00:09:27,977 Here's the hand I finger with. 272 00:09:27,979 --> 00:09:29,245 You know, I think we should go. 273 00:09:29,247 --> 00:09:32,515 Uh, I'm also considering a banjo. 274 00:09:32,517 --> 00:09:33,983 (sputters) 275 00:09:33,985 --> 00:09:35,333 (no accent): Oh, hey, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan. 276 00:09:35,364 --> 00:09:36,926 Brian asked me to go get burritos for everybody, 277 00:09:36,955 --> 00:09:39,122 but can you do it, please? 278 00:09:39,124 --> 00:09:41,324 (tuning guitar) 279 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,294 Hey, where's your new guitar? 280 00:09:44,414 --> 00:09:45,628 Oh, the old one's fine. 281 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:49,032 Oh, that's not good. 282 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,334 All right, what's really going on here? 283 00:09:52,182 --> 00:09:54,102 The guitar salesman started hitting on Clementine, 284 00:09:54,148 --> 00:09:54,818 so we left. 285 00:09:55,799 --> 00:09:56,252 All right, look. 286 00:09:57,110 --> 00:09:59,257 I got a little experience in this area, okay? 287 00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,843 Your mom was the hottest girl 288 00:10:01,884 --> 00:10:03,599 in my college, and I was just 289 00:10:03,613 --> 00:10:06,782 some bald guy whose mustache connected to his sideburns. 290 00:10:06,784 --> 00:10:07,631 Was that a thing? 291 00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:09,552 Yeah, in the 1870s. 292 00:10:09,554 --> 00:10:12,202 Look, the point is, I wasn't cool, Tyler. 293 00:10:12,217 --> 00:10:14,291 But when I was with your mom, I acted cool, 294 00:10:14,327 --> 00:10:15,096 and that's the trick. 295 00:10:16,543 --> 00:10:17,812 Look, I want you 296 00:10:17,848 --> 00:10:19,129 to go back to that store, 297 00:10:19,144 --> 00:10:20,454 and I want you to get your guitar. 298 00:10:21,017 --> 00:10:23,356 - Come on. - Thanks. 299 00:10:23,377 --> 00:10:25,301 Go pretend to be the man you'll never be. 300 00:10:25,303 --> 00:10:26,184 I will. 301 00:10:26,583 --> 00:10:27,656 You're not cool, Dad. 302 00:10:27,690 --> 00:10:29,138 Neither are you, kid. Proud of you. 303 00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:30,706 (door opens) 304 00:10:36,292 --> 00:10:38,054 (Irish brogue): Well, welcome back. 305 00:10:38,627 --> 00:10:40,282 I just wanted to stop by again 306 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,985 with my girlfriend. 307 00:10:44,096 --> 00:10:45,054 Oh, did you want that plugged in? 308 00:10:45,056 --> 00:10:46,917 - Oh, no, no, no. It's fine, it's fine. - I'm sorry, oh! 309 00:10:46,939 --> 00:10:47,315 It's just, yeah... 310 00:10:47,338 --> 00:10:48,891 - I was just shredding a little bit. - Yeah, yeah, sure. 311 00:10:48,893 --> 00:10:50,626 - Making sure this thing can hold my sound. - Sure. 312 00:10:50,628 --> 00:10:53,562 - Yeah. - Yeah, I really like how old this one is. 313 00:10:53,564 --> 00:10:54,997 Oh, you like older equipment, do you? 314 00:10:55,518 --> 00:10:57,232 Actually, I think this one 315 00:10:57,234 --> 00:10:58,661 is a little bit nicer. 316 00:10:58,781 --> 00:11:00,387 And, uh, a few years newer. 317 00:11:00,424 --> 00:11:01,737 This one's pretty cool. 318 00:11:01,739 --> 00:11:03,672 Yeah, yeah, no. You can't go wrong with that one. 319 00:11:03,728 --> 00:11:06,108 But when you're ready to take it to the next level, 320 00:11:06,389 --> 00:11:09,511 you can trade that one in for something professionals use. 321 00:11:09,891 --> 00:11:10,609 Unless 322 00:11:10,915 --> 00:11:13,879 Hendrix wasn't a professional. 323 00:11:25,594 --> 00:11:26,895 Looking cool, buddy. 324 00:11:26,897 --> 00:11:28,230 Just like my dad. 325 00:11:28,232 --> 00:11:30,098 - Want me to play drums? - Nope. 326 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:31,500 Tim? 327 00:11:31,819 --> 00:11:34,330 Did you charge something for $2,500? 328 00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:36,765 - That was $2,500?! - You told me to stand my ground! 329 00:11:36,784 --> 00:11:38,740 Wasn't there some $100 ground you could've stood? 330 00:11:38,809 --> 00:11:41,025 Hendrix played this. I mean, I could be just like him now. 331 00:11:41,085 --> 00:11:43,979 Dead and in estate battles over who owns his rights?! 332 00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:46,286 Okay, that is going back today. 333 00:11:46,321 --> 00:11:47,315 We are driving you. 334 00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:48,550 (no accent): I swear to God I was not 335 00:11:48,552 --> 00:11:49,951 the last person to use the bathroom. 336 00:11:49,953 --> 00:11:51,319 I don't even do that at work, okay? 337 00:11:51,321 --> 00:11:52,654 - Hi, excuse me? - (Irish brogue): Hello. 338 00:11:52,656 --> 00:11:54,516 Um, my-my son needs 339 00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:55,857 to return this guitar. 340 00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:57,859 Well, it is against store policy. 341 00:11:58,472 --> 00:12:01,563 But I suppose I could override it. 342 00:12:02,424 --> 00:12:04,684 I'd have to check your I.D. to make sure your his mom, though. 343 00:12:05,038 --> 00:12:06,835 There's no way you could have a teenager. 344 00:12:07,272 --> 00:12:09,810 Well, I-I was very young when I had him. 345 00:12:09,839 --> 00:12:11,754 All right, thanks, buddy, we really appreciate it, 346 00:12:11,805 --> 00:12:13,258 from one musician to another, so... 347 00:12:13,378 --> 00:12:14,075 Oh, yeah? 348 00:12:14,077 --> 00:12:15,643 What did you play... the tuba? 349 00:12:15,645 --> 00:12:17,312 Oh! No, the guitar. 350 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,580 And a little tuba in high school. 351 00:12:19,582 --> 00:12:20,150 Tuba! 352 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,697 Compensating for a tiny horn, eh? 353 00:12:22,726 --> 00:12:23,618 Oh, hardly! 354 00:12:23,738 --> 00:12:24,986 Tuba's the biggest horn there is. 355 00:12:25,106 --> 00:12:26,301 Wraps all the way around your body. 356 00:12:26,323 --> 00:12:28,207 Just like this girl's gonna do tonight. 357 00:12:28,242 --> 00:12:30,071 - Isn't that right, honey? - Sure. 358 00:12:30,253 --> 00:12:31,018 If you'd like to get back 359 00:12:31,037 --> 00:12:32,894 into the guitar, uh, I could point you 360 00:12:32,896 --> 00:12:34,327 to the beginner's section, but you know, 361 00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:36,815 this area here's more for rock stars 362 00:12:36,837 --> 00:12:38,599 and their groupies. 363 00:12:38,601 --> 00:12:40,067 (chuckles) 364 00:12:40,187 --> 00:12:41,244 So... 365 00:12:42,064 --> 00:12:43,877 why did you buy that guitar? 366 00:12:44,762 --> 00:12:45,773 (sighs) 367 00:12:46,576 --> 00:12:48,109 Because that guy was hitting on you. 368 00:12:48,111 --> 00:12:48,737 So? 369 00:12:49,157 --> 00:12:50,209 So it bummed me out. 370 00:12:51,115 --> 00:12:51,746 Look, I want you 371 00:12:51,748 --> 00:12:52,845 to stay with me forever. 372 00:12:54,672 --> 00:12:56,817 That sounds like I'm gonna murder you, sorry. 373 00:12:57,022 --> 00:12:59,350 Look, Tyler, everybody hits on me. 374 00:12:59,705 --> 00:13:01,255 Like all the time. 375 00:13:01,375 --> 00:13:02,590 I love that shirt. 376 00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:03,375 Thanks. 377 00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:05,192 She wasn't looking at my shirt. 378 00:13:05,194 --> 00:13:06,193 Hmm? 379 00:13:06,195 --> 00:13:07,661 Look, I am with you, 380 00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:09,797 because I want to be with you. 381 00:13:09,799 --> 00:13:10,888 Don't worry about it. 382 00:13:10,939 --> 00:13:12,097 I'm your girlfriend. 383 00:13:16,781 --> 00:13:19,285 Well, bad news is I couldn't return your guitar. 384 00:13:19,322 --> 00:13:22,443 But I did manage to pick up a little something for myself. 385 00:13:23,122 --> 00:13:24,978 It did set me back $4,000. 386 00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:26,647 But that'll just encourage me 387 00:13:26,649 --> 00:13:27,697 to learn how to play it. 388 00:13:28,087 --> 00:13:29,429 You are insane. 389 00:13:31,826 --> 00:13:34,154 Yeah, we really showed that Scotsman, huh? 390 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:35,556 I thought he was Irish. 391 00:13:35,676 --> 00:13:36,946 Don't be racist. 392 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:40,894 You have the baby. 393 00:13:40,896 --> 00:13:42,748 If you realize that it's too soon, 394 00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,275 I'll take it. Yeah, I mean, 395 00:13:45,294 --> 00:13:47,247 I'm your sister, so it's like it's half mine anyway. 396 00:13:47,707 --> 00:13:49,507 _ 397 00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:55,913 Uh, so I just got a, uh, calendar alert on my phone. 398 00:13:56,304 --> 00:13:57,937 Yeah, it's Valentine's Day. 399 00:13:57,939 --> 00:13:59,939 Why do you think I matched my underwear to my bra? 400 00:13:59,941 --> 00:14:01,867 Oh, no, no, no, no, it's not that. 401 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,742 Uh, today's the day that we said 402 00:14:03,744 --> 00:14:05,077 we'd start trying for another baby. 403 00:14:05,729 --> 00:14:06,209 Remember? 404 00:14:06,753 --> 00:14:09,148 Valentine's Day, 10:00 a.m., make a baby. 405 00:14:09,150 --> 00:14:11,450 Wait, what, that... that's... that's now? 406 00:14:11,678 --> 00:14:13,252 - Yeah. - That's... wow. 407 00:14:13,254 --> 00:14:15,287 That-that-that-that happened so soon. 408 00:14:15,407 --> 00:14:17,609 I mean, how can we have a baby? 409 00:14:17,638 --> 00:14:19,291 We... we already have a baby. 410 00:14:19,808 --> 00:14:22,450 Uh, well, we said that we wanted them to be two years apart, 411 00:14:22,479 --> 00:14:24,363 and Lark is eight months old, 412 00:14:24,365 --> 00:14:26,532 and it took seven months to get pregnant last time, so... 413 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,128 Right, okay, but... 414 00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:33,275 but-but-but-but-but- but-but-but... but... 415 00:14:33,529 --> 00:14:38,380 uh, that plan was devised in a pre-Lark world, 416 00:14:38,424 --> 00:14:41,783 and post-Lark world is very different. 417 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:45,117 It is... it's-it's darker, you know? 418 00:14:45,119 --> 00:14:46,934 It's-it's grittier. 419 00:14:46,998 --> 00:14:48,253 It's sleepier. 420 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,280 It's... saggier. 421 00:14:50,782 --> 00:14:52,795 So you don't want to have another baby. 422 00:14:53,363 --> 00:14:55,365 It's very saggy, Greg. 423 00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,231 I have to go make a dinner reservation. 424 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,699 HEATHER: Yeah, buddy, yeah. 425 00:15:00,819 --> 00:15:01,750 I'm an idiot. 426 00:15:04,524 --> 00:15:06,453 Hey, Heater, question for you. 427 00:15:06,465 --> 00:15:07,658 What was the bigger transition... 428 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,542 Going from one kid to two or two to three? 429 00:15:10,544 --> 00:15:12,977 - Mmm... oh, my God. - What? 430 00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,289 - You're gonna have a baby. - No. 431 00:15:14,323 --> 00:15:15,162 - Baby! - No! 432 00:15:15,184 --> 00:15:16,347 - Baby! Baby! - (coughing): No. 433 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,383 (coughing) 434 00:15:18,574 --> 00:15:20,718 No. No, we're not having a baby; 435 00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:22,782 we're thinking about having a baby. 436 00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:23,937 We're trying to, you know, 437 00:15:23,951 --> 00:15:26,381 zone in on the exact perfect time to... 438 00:15:26,418 --> 00:15:27,158 You have the baby. 439 00:15:27,570 --> 00:15:29,317 If you realize that it's too soon, 440 00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:31,874 I'll take it. Yeah, I mean, 441 00:15:31,888 --> 00:15:33,816 I'm your sister, so it's like it's half mine anyway. 442 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,811 Intriguing proposition. Okay. 443 00:15:35,931 --> 00:15:36,391 Well, uh... 444 00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:38,169 - I'm gonna bring these facts to Jen. - Yeah. 445 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,904 And, uh, I'll get back to you. 446 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:42,674 Hey, and I will carry it for you, too, if that's the issue. 447 00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:44,524 - Now I can get behind that. - Oh. 448 00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:46,186 You are so hot when you're pregnant. 449 00:15:47,044 --> 00:15:49,347 Something about you and I having the same profile 450 00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,314 really gets me going. 451 00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:51,282 Mmm. 452 00:15:52,599 --> 00:15:54,924 JOAN: Oh, we just heard the great news. 453 00:15:54,976 --> 00:15:56,206 My goodness. 454 00:15:56,577 --> 00:16:00,035 My baby is having another baby. 455 00:16:00,239 --> 00:16:01,856 Oh. Oh, well, um, thank you, 456 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,128 but, no, no, I'm not... I'm not pregnant. 457 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,195 - No, we're waiting. - Oh. 458 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,137 Maybe. Or not. 459 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,441 - W-w-w-we don't know. - Okay. 460 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:09,532 I think you're supposed to cut down on the sauce a little 461 00:16:09,546 --> 00:16:11,983 during this time, darling, but you do you. 462 00:16:12,048 --> 00:16:13,337 - She's not pregnant. - Not pregnant. 463 00:16:13,457 --> 00:16:14,109 Think you should wait. 464 00:16:14,726 --> 00:16:16,930 - Yeah? - When kids are too close in age, 465 00:16:17,148 --> 00:16:18,888 you know, it strains the relationship, 466 00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,965 and the younger one always ends up sucking at sports. 467 00:16:20,997 --> 00:16:21,912 Greg, heads up. 468 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,951 JOAN: You know, I think you two are making this 469 00:16:24,979 --> 00:16:26,260 much too complicated. 470 00:16:26,914 --> 00:16:28,803 When it's time to have another baby, you'll know. 471 00:16:29,175 --> 00:16:30,187 We-we will? 472 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:32,489 Yes, there'll be a sign. 473 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,892 Just like there was when we got pregnant with Greg. 474 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:35,722 There was a sign? 475 00:16:35,842 --> 00:16:37,490 We were all around the table, 476 00:16:37,554 --> 00:16:40,197 and somehow a chair from the dining room 477 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:41,581 had made its way into the kitchen. 478 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,746 I looked at that empty chair, 479 00:16:43,757 --> 00:16:45,914 and I knew something was missing. 480 00:16:47,024 --> 00:16:49,619 And that something was another baby. 481 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:51,218 What about me, Mom? 482 00:16:51,955 --> 00:16:53,210 What was the sign you should have me? 483 00:16:53,507 --> 00:16:54,119 Oh. 484 00:16:55,207 --> 00:16:56,861 Remember what that sign was? 485 00:16:57,190 --> 00:16:57,892 I do. 486 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,065 "Ten minute loading zone." 487 00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:02,586 (laughs) 488 00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:06,089 (sighs) Finally, some peace of mind. 489 00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:07,457 It's not up to us, you know? 490 00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:09,226 If it was up to us, we wouldn't know what to do. 491 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:10,661 - But it's not up to us. - No. 492 00:17:10,781 --> 00:17:12,195 - No, it's up to fate. - Yeah. 493 00:17:12,225 --> 00:17:13,530 So we don't have to find the answer, 494 00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,831 - it'll find us. - That's right. 495 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:15,954 - (bird squawking) - (gasps) 496 00:17:17,108 --> 00:17:18,373 - Is that... - A stork? 497 00:17:19,446 --> 00:17:20,527 Yes, it is. 498 00:17:22,169 --> 00:17:22,604 Wow. 499 00:17:24,328 --> 00:17:26,896 Thought we'd have, like, at least an hour or two 500 00:17:26,937 --> 00:17:28,221 before we saw a sign. 501 00:17:28,341 --> 00:17:29,107 Yeah, yeah. 502 00:17:31,810 --> 00:17:32,993 Yeah. Let's go make a baby. 503 00:17:36,438 --> 00:17:37,761 Happy Valentine's Day. 504 00:17:38,881 --> 00:17:40,459 That's no stork. It's a crane. 505 00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:42,893 - What? Really? - Yeah. 506 00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,022 Storks are not indigenous 507 00:17:45,051 --> 00:17:47,134 - to this area. And are silent. - No. 508 00:17:47,185 --> 00:17:48,233 That thing was squawking. 509 00:17:48,270 --> 00:17:49,118 - I mean, you heard it. - Squawk, squawk, squawk. 510 00:17:49,165 --> 00:17:51,768 - I mean, it's a crane. It's a crane. - That's a crane. That's a crane. 511 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,366 Oh, that is a crane. So-so-so it's not a stork. 512 00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:56,026 - So it's not a sign. - Mm-mm. 513 00:17:56,049 --> 00:17:57,018 So we shouldn't be trying 514 00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:57,884 - for a baby. - No. 515 00:17:58,476 --> 00:18:00,486 Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. 516 00:18:00,606 --> 00:18:01,697 I'm okay with that. Are you okay with that? 517 00:18:01,817 --> 00:18:03,942 - It's not up to us. You know? - No. 518 00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,239 I mean, it's a... it's a crane. 519 00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:06,592 - It's a dang crane. - Dang it. 520 00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:08,187 - (groans) - Yeah. 521 00:18:08,396 --> 00:18:10,677 - Universe. So mad. - Yeah. 522 00:18:10,921 --> 00:18:12,255 (chuckling): You know? 523 00:18:12,975 --> 00:18:14,258 All right, I'm gonna put on sweatpants. 524 00:18:17,173 --> 00:18:18,904 (quietly): You can stay in the outfit. 525 00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:21,107 (knocking) 526 00:18:22,277 --> 00:18:24,188 Hi there! I'm, uh, Chip Baggins 527 00:18:24,223 --> 00:18:26,201 from SoCal Bird Watchers. And if you don't mind, 528 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,174 I'd like to document that stork on your lawn. 529 00:18:28,568 --> 00:18:30,773 - Oh, that's no stork. It's a crane. - No, 530 00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:34,710 it's a stork. Genus Ciconia, species Ciconia. 531 00:18:34,712 --> 00:18:36,465 - Yeah, I don't know what that is. - What is that? 532 00:18:36,479 --> 00:18:39,173 But I Wikipedia'd the hell out of that, and that's a crane. 533 00:18:39,615 --> 00:18:41,887 It's got a chip in it. That's how we tracked it here. 534 00:18:42,424 --> 00:18:44,070 It's a white stork that's broken 535 00:18:44,092 --> 00:18:46,151 from its normal migratory patterns. 536 00:18:46,761 --> 00:18:48,151 It's a pretty big deal, actually. 537 00:18:48,216 --> 00:18:50,449 Oh, this is tough news to break to you, Chip, 538 00:18:50,479 --> 00:18:52,262 but it's not a big deal. It's a very tiny baby deal, 539 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:53,018 because it's not a stork. 540 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,497 Yeah, if it was a stork, it would be 541 00:18:54,499 --> 00:18:55,698 - a big deal, because then... - Big deal. 542 00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:58,234 - we can get busy making baby number two. - Yeah. 543 00:18:58,489 --> 00:19:00,236 That's a fairy tale, actually. 544 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,238 Well, for you, maybe, Chip, 545 00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:04,789 but, for us, making love is very, very real. 546 00:19:04,831 --> 00:19:06,757 - GREG: Yeah. We take it very seriously. - But, uh, 547 00:19:06,808 --> 00:19:08,177 alas, Mommy's in sweatpants 548 00:19:08,179 --> 00:19:09,979 'cause it's a crane. So... (chuckles) 549 00:19:10,185 --> 00:19:12,281 - boo-hoo. But bye-bye. (chuckles) - Take care. Bye-bye. 550 00:19:12,283 --> 00:19:14,149 But it just... what... it would be... but... 551 00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:19,825 (gobbling sounds) 552 00:19:21,678 --> 00:19:23,327 - (vehicle approaching) - Ooh. 553 00:19:23,593 --> 00:19:24,137 Hi. 554 00:19:24,507 --> 00:19:25,399 MAN: Guys, there it is, guys. 555 00:19:26,175 --> 00:19:27,264 MAN 2: Let's set up over here. 556 00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,191 MAN 1: I'll back up the truck. 557 00:19:28,311 --> 00:19:30,034 Oh. I'm gonna put you back down. 558 00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,402 (indistinct chatter) 559 00:19:31,522 --> 00:19:32,808 WOMAN: In three, two... 560 00:19:34,135 --> 00:19:37,007 The appearance of a stork has a Mar Vista couple asking, 561 00:19:37,358 --> 00:19:38,221 what the flock? 562 00:19:38,417 --> 00:19:40,440 It's a crane! Leave us alone! 563 00:19:41,782 --> 00:19:43,343 - Honey. - Yeah, I know. 564 00:19:44,264 --> 00:19:46,636 - It's a stork. - Okay, 565 00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:48,604 you know what, give me a 30-minute head start. 566 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,306 I'm gonna climb back into that lingerie. 567 00:19:50,334 --> 00:19:52,222 We're gonna knock dem boots, okay? 568 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:52,859 Let's wait. 569 00:19:53,547 --> 00:19:54,007 Wait, what? 570 00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:57,328 Let's wait. 571 00:19:58,528 --> 00:19:59,846 Lark is so amazing right now. 572 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,266 And I know whoever is gonna come around next 573 00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:05,002 is gonna be just as amazing. But right now I'm not ready 574 00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:06,352 to give up this special time 575 00:20:06,384 --> 00:20:08,008 that we have with just us and Lark. 576 00:20:08,211 --> 00:20:09,136 Yeah, I feel the same way. 577 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:10,673 - You do? - Yeah. 578 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,157 I love just us. 579 00:20:13,511 --> 00:20:15,017 You know? We can, like, each take 580 00:20:15,031 --> 00:20:16,917 one of her hands and swing her in between us. 581 00:20:16,953 --> 00:20:18,453 We couldn't do that if there was another kid. 582 00:20:18,573 --> 00:20:20,129 Okay. New plan. 583 00:20:20,535 --> 00:20:21,333 - You ready? - Mm-hmm. 584 00:20:21,369 --> 00:20:23,842 The new plan is no plan. 585 00:20:25,685 --> 00:20:26,519 I like that plan. 586 00:20:26,874 --> 00:20:27,476 You do? 587 00:20:27,747 --> 00:20:29,209 Mm-hmm. And I love you. 588 00:20:29,526 --> 00:20:30,331 I love you, too. 589 00:20:33,364 --> 00:20:35,999 (pecking) 590 00:20:36,617 --> 00:20:37,286 What's that sound? 591 00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:41,660 That's the stork pecking at our window. 592 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:46,769 - I'm gonna go turn on the sprinklers. - Yeah. 593 00:20:46,819 --> 00:20:51,369 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41480

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