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00:00:00,703 --> 00:00:02,711
Previously on Let's Get Physical:
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00:00:02,717 --> 00:00:06,625
That's how we win Dad's money, with
unexpected dancers like those two.
3
00:00:06,781 --> 00:00:08,305
Please, Mr. Cross, don't cut me.
4
00:00:08,311 --> 00:00:09,511
Looking for dancers!
5
00:00:09,517 --> 00:00:12,203
I'm going to the Metrix to
steal some of Barry's dancers.
6
00:00:12,209 --> 00:00:13,828
I know you're not a Metrix robot.
7
00:00:13,990 --> 00:00:15,543
Why don't you dance for us?
8
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,597
If we don't get this loan,
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00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:22,113
we can't pay our team
and they're going to quit.
10
00:00:22,119 --> 00:00:24,718
Well, this has been our family
bank since you were in diapers.
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00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:28,610
Just don't say a word,
and... don't look so sweaty.
12
00:00:28,616 --> 00:00:29,816
Can't help it.
13
00:00:29,921 --> 00:00:32,028
I get nervous in banks and schools.
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So many papers, so many rules.
15
00:00:39,964 --> 00:00:41,779
(LAUGHING) I don't even
know where to start.
16
00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,583
There are small children with
more credit history than you.
17
00:00:45,589 --> 00:00:47,482
Have you ever had a checking account,
18
00:00:47,488 --> 00:00:49,324
a salary of any kind,
19
00:00:49,728 --> 00:00:50,928
a phone bill?
20
00:00:50,934 --> 00:00:52,202
I'm a performer.
21
00:00:52,208 --> 00:00:54,961
I live off of tips, and
a complex bartering system
22
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:57,659
with my fellow
service-industry colleagues.
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00:00:57,665 --> 00:01:00,165
And I, uh, buy my
cellphones at gas stations,
24
00:01:00,171 --> 00:01:03,664
because they have great
deals and, uh, sandwiches.
25
00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,561
How is my financial standing?
26
00:01:06,651 --> 00:01:08,442
It's worse than your son's.
27
00:01:08,448 --> 00:01:12,153
You already have a business
loan, and multiple lines of credit
28
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,659
that your husband stopped
paying off years ago.
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00:01:16,447 --> 00:01:19,040
I want to see the
skeletons in your closet!
30
00:01:19,634 --> 00:01:21,665
Back in the '90s, I, uh...
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00:01:21,671 --> 00:01:24,142
I tried to start a lingerie
line for the military wives.
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00:01:24,148 --> 00:01:26,339
It was called Classified Secrets,
33
00:01:26,345 --> 00:01:27,917
and these would be the business plans,
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00:01:27,923 --> 00:01:30,645
and some photos of me that
you might not want to see.
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00:01:30,651 --> 00:01:33,043
Yeah, you can burn that.
Just burn it and shred it.
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Shred it, then burn it.
I don't want to see it.
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Okay.
38
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,984
I'm only a banker, not
a therapist. (LAUGHS)
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00:01:39,249 --> 00:01:41,488
We can't give you a business loan,
40
00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:44,991
and because you've been
overdrawn for months, I'm forced,
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00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:46,622
sorry for that choice of word,
42
00:01:46,702 --> 00:01:48,134
to close your accounts.
43
00:01:48,411 --> 00:01:52,130
But first we'll need to clear out
your husband's safety deposit box.
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00:01:53,003 --> 00:01:54,919
- Uh, excuse me?
- I-I didn't realise
45
00:01:54,925 --> 00:01:56,732
that he had a safety deposit box.
46
00:01:56,895 --> 00:01:58,883
The Fitness King has gotta work, yeah!
47
00:01:59,207 --> 00:02:02,660
What's up, Juan? I come bearing samples!
48
00:02:02,666 --> 00:02:06,240
- Who wants cramp bark? It's the shit!
- (EXCITED VOICES)
49
00:02:06,246 --> 00:02:09,160
Mr. Cross is here. BRB.
50
00:02:09,445 --> 00:02:10,863
And don't touch anything.
51
00:02:12,830 --> 00:02:17,402
Mm-mmm. Peekaboo. Holy shit,
Carol, you are lean and mean!
52
00:02:17,408 --> 00:02:19,100
Here's a free pass to Kettle Bell Hell.
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00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:21,131
- Thank you.
- Keep it going, girl! Gopher!
54
00:02:21,603 --> 00:02:24,308
- Dylan, you sonofabitch.
- Hey.
55
00:02:24,314 --> 00:02:26,019
- Pushing too many pencils, Dylan?
- Argh!
56
00:02:26,025 --> 00:02:28,291
- Okay, okay! (CHUCKLES)
- Argh! Hey!
57
00:02:28,297 --> 00:02:32,525
Verrrrronica! Congrats on
beating your attendants' record.
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00:02:32,531 --> 00:02:34,221
You and I are gonna be
bumping bits later, huh?
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00:02:34,227 --> 00:02:35,643
- Mr. Cross!
- Naughty girl.
60
00:02:35,649 --> 00:02:37,963
I just gave you 20 Met
coins for the juice bar.
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00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:40,035
Do you smell stewed tomatoes?
62
00:02:40,344 --> 00:02:43,035
Smells like ketchup and desperation. Ah!
63
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,558
Is that Puffy Joe Force?
64
00:02:44,722 --> 00:02:46,746
You know they don't have Coin
Star at the bank, right? (LAUGHS)
65
00:02:46,752 --> 00:02:50,537
Actually, uh, the reason we're here
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00:02:50,543 --> 00:02:53,987
is because my dad left us
something very important
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00:02:54,126 --> 00:02:56,462
in a safe deposit box.
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(WHISPERS) We're gonna go get that now.
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00:02:58,585 --> 00:03:01,585
(JAUNTY MUSIC)
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00:03:05,134 --> 00:03:06,556
What's in the box?
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00:03:14,814 --> 00:03:17,239
The beginning... of what?
72
00:03:18,027 --> 00:03:19,933
- What is this?
- Film.
73
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,012
Janet, Joe, what's in the box?
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00:03:26,308 --> 00:03:28,044
Hi. Seriously, what's in the box?
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00:03:28,050 --> 00:03:30,115
- Don't worry about it, Barry.
- Oh, come on, give me a little peeky-boo.
76
00:03:30,121 --> 00:03:31,327
Uh-uh-uh, what is it?
77
00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:33,343
Um, you know what? I'll tell
you how to shed your chin fat.
78
00:03:33,349 --> 00:03:34,601
Is it, uh, fitness memorabilia?
79
00:03:34,607 --> 00:03:36,437
Jane Fonda's leg-warmers?
What is it? Show me.
80
00:03:36,443 --> 00:03:38,883
Barry, darling, these are
priceless family artifacts,
81
00:03:38,889 --> 00:03:40,386
and none of your business, so...
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00:03:40,392 --> 00:03:42,928
if you don't mind, would you
kindly put your fist in your mouth
83
00:03:42,934 --> 00:03:44,145
and run into a wall?
84
00:03:44,151 --> 00:03:47,014
Good one, J-Rock. Yeah,
go fist your mouth.
85
00:03:48,692 --> 00:03:50,178
What's in the box?
86
00:03:50,184 --> 00:03:52,581
Come on! Start the car!
Start the car! Start the car!
87
00:03:52,587 --> 00:03:55,299
Come on, what's in the box?!
Show me what's in the box!
88
00:03:55,305 --> 00:03:57,588
Show me what's in the box! Show me!!
89
00:03:57,594 --> 00:03:59,179
Ah!!
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00:03:59,185 --> 00:04:03,701
- ? Let's get physical, physical ?
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com -
91
00:04:03,707 --> 00:04:06,580
- (ROCK MUSIC)
- _
92
00:04:06,586 --> 00:04:08,620
_
93
00:04:08,626 --> 00:04:10,853
Welcome to your first staff meeting.
94
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:14,364
Now, if anyone speaks, I have
given her permission to hurt you.
95
00:04:14,370 --> 00:04:17,379
Wait a second. You have a
scrappy street kid, an ex-con,
96
00:04:17,385 --> 00:04:20,864
and a big, beautiful warrior, and
for the enforcer, you pick the girl?
97
00:04:20,870 --> 00:04:22,070
Ah!
98
00:04:22,176 --> 00:04:23,395
Okay, I see your point.
99
00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:25,851
Every day at 9 a.m. there
will be team practice.
100
00:04:25,857 --> 00:04:28,482
No absences, no excuses.
101
00:04:28,662 --> 00:04:30,890
Regionals are only two weeks away,
102
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,655
and we need to perfect our routine.
103
00:04:32,661 --> 00:04:35,326
Once we place in regionals,
104
00:04:35,388 --> 00:04:37,289
we will go on to the aerobics finals.
105
00:04:37,295 --> 00:04:39,209
Then we will only have one
month in which to prepare
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00:04:39,215 --> 00:04:41,584
all-new routines. Am I understood?
107
00:04:41,590 --> 00:04:43,664
(COUGHING) Hell yeah.
108
00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:45,822
Um, I'm gonna need every Tuesday off.
109
00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:47,939
Got this regular paying Craigslist gig.
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00:04:47,945 --> 00:04:50,558
Guy pays me a cool hundo every week.
111
00:04:51,727 --> 00:04:54,469
What? Nah, it ain't like
that. He just gets me to
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00:04:54,475 --> 00:04:56,570
dress up in a Little
League uniform and...
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00:04:56,811 --> 00:04:58,398
play catch with him in the park.
114
00:04:58,404 --> 00:05:00,696
- Oh, my God.
- Well, I need money, okay?
115
00:05:00,702 --> 00:05:02,305
Janet's up here talking about routines.
116
00:05:02,311 --> 00:05:03,899
We haven't even gotten a paycheck yet.
117
00:05:03,905 --> 00:05:06,008
Confiscate his drug paraphernalia.
118
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:08,198
No, no, no, no. That's
my ice-cream cake vape.
119
00:05:08,204 --> 00:05:10,277
I need that so I don't
smoke weed up in here.
120
00:05:10,283 --> 00:05:12,119
Fine! I don't even want it.
121
00:05:12,404 --> 00:05:14,770
Just go back to eating
gummy-bear edibles.
122
00:05:14,776 --> 00:05:17,945
- That's all I can afford.
- Okay, everybody, let's just calm down.
123
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,649
The Colonel has left us a little gift
124
00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:22,476
that's probably worth something.
125
00:05:22,482 --> 00:05:26,448
All we gotta do is figure
out what's on these and... No.
126
00:05:26,454 --> 00:05:28,915
And then find out a way
to sell them... Uh-uh.
127
00:05:28,921 --> 00:05:31,067
And then we all get paid.
128
00:05:31,073 --> 00:05:33,054
Don't let those little darlings
129
00:05:33,060 --> 00:05:35,715
get dirty whilst you examine them.
130
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:37,940
Just...
131
00:05:40,043 --> 00:05:43,043
(PULSATING MUSIC)
132
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,059
Oh. Barry, why aren't you
practicing with your team?
133
00:05:46,065 --> 00:05:49,170
(MUMBLING)
134
00:05:49,176 --> 00:05:50,689
Barry, what the hell's going on?
135
00:05:50,695 --> 00:05:51,895
_
136
00:05:53,192 --> 00:05:55,969
- What's in the box?
- (QUIETLY) Oh, my God...
137
00:05:55,975 --> 00:05:57,501
Uh, what box?
138
00:05:57,507 --> 00:06:00,509
The Colonel left Joe a safety
deposit box. What's in it?
139
00:06:00,515 --> 00:06:02,217
Never-before-seen aerobics moves?
140
00:06:02,223 --> 00:06:04,257
Training techniques they
can use to defeat us?
141
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,723
(EXHALING SLOWLY)
142
00:06:05,729 --> 00:06:07,361
Woosa...
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00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,970
give me that.
144
00:06:09,966 --> 00:06:13,177
Do you remember your
rivalry with Billy Blanks?
145
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,839
Yes, yes. I created Wooey Cross
to outsell his stupid Tae Bo DVDs.
146
00:06:18,089 --> 00:06:20,996
I moved to Thailand to train
with a kickboxing master.
147
00:06:21,002 --> 00:06:24,364
Who ended up being a crazy old
man who got you hooked on betel nut
148
00:06:24,370 --> 00:06:26,200
and made you clean his
shack for six months.
149
00:06:26,206 --> 00:06:27,965
Do you remember what happened then?
150
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:30,358
I drifted from shanty
town to shanty town,
151
00:06:30,364 --> 00:06:32,080
stowed away on a pirate vessel.
152
00:06:33,386 --> 00:06:34,960
I did things I'm not proud of.
153
00:06:35,059 --> 00:06:38,051
Survived on papaya rinds and rainwater.
154
00:06:38,057 --> 00:06:39,570
Do you remember what happened then?
155
00:06:40,148 --> 00:06:42,536
You rented a helicopter and rescued me.
156
00:06:42,542 --> 00:06:45,359
You have hyper-competitive
personality disorder.
157
00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:48,972
It's my job to protect
you from yourself.
158
00:06:49,563 --> 00:06:51,484
Brush your teeth, go find your team,
159
00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:53,276
and I will head over
to Fitness by Force.
160
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:55,585
No! I've got a better idea.
161
00:06:55,591 --> 00:06:57,287
I'll find my team, then brush my teeth.
162
00:06:57,293 --> 00:06:59,060
You head over to Fitness By Force.
163
00:06:59,066 --> 00:07:01,066
Together, we're invincible!
164
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,145
(ROCK MUSIC)
165
00:07:03,151 --> 00:07:04,351
Okay.
166
00:07:05,455 --> 00:07:06,655
Oh, God.
167
00:07:07,958 --> 00:07:09,381
What are we looking for again?
168
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,771
A projector, so we
can watch those reels.
169
00:07:11,777 --> 00:07:13,177
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
170
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:16,762
Hey, look, I know the Force is
our fam and everything now, but...
171
00:07:17,973 --> 00:07:20,455
I don't think we can
rely on 'em for a payday.
172
00:07:20,461 --> 00:07:23,182
Facts. Alright, we need
to run a side hustle
173
00:07:23,188 --> 00:07:25,476
out the gift shop so we
can make some extra chips.
174
00:07:25,482 --> 00:07:26,908
Maybe something like this?
175
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,509
Colonel Force's Health
and Fitness Inventions.
176
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,499
- What do we got here?
- Hey, check it out.
177
00:07:31,794 --> 00:07:34,259
? Give it a jack, it'll
kill your plaque. ?
178
00:07:34,265 --> 00:07:37,282
? It's the shaky, shaky brush.
Shaky, shaky, brush, brush. ?
179
00:07:37,288 --> 00:07:39,514
Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no. No, like this!
180
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,718
- _
- The Snacks Compactor.
181
00:07:41,724 --> 00:07:43,485
- _
- Oh! (LAUGHING)
182
00:07:43,491 --> 00:07:45,701
I mean it ain't stealing
if he's dead, right?
183
00:07:45,810 --> 00:07:47,636
That's how I got my first pager.
184
00:07:47,642 --> 00:07:50,527
Exactly, I should know.
I'll make it and you hype it.
185
00:07:51,196 --> 00:07:52,738
50/50. Huh?
186
00:07:52,744 --> 00:07:54,583
(LAUGHTER)
187
00:07:54,589 --> 00:07:56,693
- Ah!
- Hey, check it out. It's my dick.
188
00:07:56,699 --> 00:07:58,367
Now I'm humping cavities.
189
00:07:58,373 --> 00:08:03,572
Humping cavities in the butt!
Ya! Ya! Take that! Ha-ha.
190
00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:05,583
Put it away.
191
00:08:10,442 --> 00:08:12,116
Is that a bloody gash?
192
00:08:12,122 --> 00:08:14,537
It looks like some kind of surgery.
193
00:08:14,756 --> 00:08:16,670
Was the Colonel a doctor too?
194
00:08:16,676 --> 00:08:17,876
Kind of.
195
00:08:18,076 --> 00:08:20,375
When he was in the
military, he spent a decade
196
00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:23,810
doing creepy science experiments
on the human body, and then once...
197
00:08:24,490 --> 00:08:26,804
- Holy shit.
- What?
198
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,337
Oh, I know what this is!
199
00:08:29,990 --> 00:08:33,740
Of course! My dad had this crazy theory.
200
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:35,904
If you did the right kind of movements,
201
00:08:35,910 --> 00:08:39,725
then it would improve
your... like, inner system.
202
00:08:40,014 --> 00:08:41,935
So the reels are...?
203
00:08:41,941 --> 00:08:44,045
The beginning of aerobics!
204
00:08:44,849 --> 00:08:46,559
This could be worth a lot of money.
205
00:08:46,565 --> 00:08:47,765
Yeah!
206
00:08:47,771 --> 00:08:50,656
Aerobics is the cornerstone
of the entire fitness industry!
207
00:08:50,662 --> 00:08:53,691
Ah, that's how we sell
it. A piece of history.
208
00:08:53,697 --> 00:08:55,369
We should auction it off to the G8.
209
00:08:55,375 --> 00:08:56,688
You really think a
tomato-juice company's
210
00:08:56,694 --> 00:08:57,961
gonna want to buy this? Come on.
211
00:08:57,967 --> 00:09:01,250
No, dummy, the G8 are the top
eight national gym franchises.
212
00:09:01,256 --> 00:09:03,360
- Oh.
- Yoo-hoo!
213
00:09:05,191 --> 00:09:06,507
I want to make a deal.
214
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:09,170
You need money for so many reasons,
215
00:09:09,176 --> 00:09:10,856
and I need my husband to stop obsessing
216
00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:14,082
over what's in that
box, so it's a win/win.
217
00:09:14,984 --> 00:09:16,399
- Um...
- Well, Claudia,
218
00:09:16,405 --> 00:09:18,346
if you'd like to purchase these items,
219
00:09:18,352 --> 00:09:21,612
then you can bid on them
at our auction with the G8.
220
00:09:21,618 --> 00:09:23,918
- Wait, what if we sell right now?
- No. Shut up.
221
00:09:23,924 --> 00:09:25,159
Okay.
222
00:09:25,161 --> 00:09:27,340
This is bigger than the Metrix.
223
00:09:27,346 --> 00:09:30,867
Joe, just take the offer. You
don't want to play hardball with me.
224
00:09:30,873 --> 00:09:34,748
Hardball, Foosball,
platform diving, name it.
225
00:09:34,754 --> 00:09:36,554
I'll take you and your husband down.
226
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,750
Okay, um, breathing room.
227
00:09:38,756 --> 00:09:40,820
You do realize she's highly unstable.
228
00:09:40,826 --> 00:09:42,515
This is between you two right now.
229
00:09:42,521 --> 00:09:45,296
Well, you can keep your pet. We
have plenty of them at our gym.
230
00:09:45,302 --> 00:09:46,977
I guess we'll see you at the auction.
231
00:09:46,983 --> 00:09:49,039
(WHISPERED) Really happy we fired you.
232
00:09:51,926 --> 00:09:53,333
Guess we're having an auction.
233
00:09:53,339 --> 00:09:55,457
(ROCK MUSIC)
234
00:09:55,463 --> 00:09:57,724
- (FUNKY JAZZY MUSIC)
- _
235
00:09:58,934 --> 00:10:02,858
Welcome, gym owners, to the
Force Fitness special auction.
236
00:10:02,864 --> 00:10:05,794
Our presentation, the
Beginning of Aerobics,
237
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,391
will start in one minute.
238
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:10,133
Mom! Stop!
239
00:10:10,139 --> 00:10:12,205
Not in front of the other gym owners.
240
00:10:12,597 --> 00:10:16,511
I can't believe it, but I
think I'm actually proud of you.
241
00:10:17,092 --> 00:10:18,297
- Aw...
- No.
242
00:10:18,303 --> 00:10:20,811
Heh-heh. (GROANING)
Yeah. Enough, enough.
243
00:10:21,155 --> 00:10:22,882
You're sweating on my perfume.
244
00:10:23,291 --> 00:10:26,204
So, uh, break a leg today, darling.
245
00:10:26,210 --> 00:10:29,543
Uh, the theatrical break, not
the drunken stage-fall break.
246
00:10:29,894 --> 00:10:31,402
Stop!
247
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,357
Alright, baby, time
for the grand opening.
248
00:10:34,363 --> 00:10:36,224
- Snacks!
- Yeah, baby, come on.
249
00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:38,207
Alright, hocus-pocus, come on now.
250
00:10:38,473 --> 00:10:40,873
(BEEPING AND WHIRRING)
251
00:10:40,879 --> 00:10:43,320
- Come on the money. Ah-ha-ah
- Snack, snack, snack, snack, snack, snack!
252
00:10:43,326 --> 00:10:45,890
Everybody! Ooh!
253
00:10:48,302 --> 00:10:49,502
Bros.
254
00:10:49,508 --> 00:10:52,503
We call it the Snacks Compactor.
255
00:10:52,509 --> 00:10:54,118
- Yeah.
- Featuring Clarence.
256
00:10:54,672 --> 00:10:57,376
Bros, you all gotta try this! Mm!
257
00:10:57,483 --> 00:10:58,768
(LAUGHTER)
258
00:10:58,774 --> 00:11:01,682
? Somebody say make money,
money, make money, money, money! ?
259
00:11:01,688 --> 00:11:04,164
? Make money, money,
money! Make money, money! ?
260
00:11:04,170 --> 00:11:06,761
Come on, let's have you.
Can I get you a Snacks bar?
261
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,273
- We have vanilla...
- Attention, gym owners.
262
00:11:09,279 --> 00:11:13,821
Please take your seats for a special
presentation of our auction items.
263
00:11:13,827 --> 00:11:16,142
The Beginning of Aerobics.
264
00:11:16,148 --> 00:11:18,038
We have better set
design on our sex tapes.
265
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:21,608
In the beginning, there
were smokers and fatties.
266
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,088
Then one man changed everything,
267
00:11:24,094 --> 00:11:27,789
and that man was Colonel Tom Force.
268
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,710
Before Joe's dad became a fitness guru,
269
00:11:30,716 --> 00:11:34,404
he spent over a decade doing all
these fancy science experiments
270
00:11:34,410 --> 00:11:37,208
on astronaut lungs and military hearts.
271
00:11:37,214 --> 00:11:39,809
It's like a community-theater
production in a halfway house.
272
00:11:39,815 --> 00:11:42,636
And even though the Colonel's
workouts were backed by research,
273
00:11:42,642 --> 00:11:43,986
U.S. soldiers didn't like 'em,
274
00:11:43,992 --> 00:11:45,976
because they said
they were too feminine.
275
00:11:46,788 --> 00:11:48,220
Oh, hell no.
276
00:11:48,476 --> 00:11:50,172
But my father did not give up.
277
00:11:50,178 --> 00:11:53,398
Instead, he turned his
focus on the American public.
278
00:11:53,404 --> 00:11:57,402
He used his research to create
and publish his first book,
279
00:11:57,408 --> 00:11:59,484
Aerobics with Force.
280
00:11:59,490 --> 00:12:03,578
And along came a graduate dance
student named Jackie Sorenson.
281
00:12:03,584 --> 00:12:04,784
Tina looks too happy.
282
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:08,164
Have our members flood her social
media with unflattering emojis.
283
00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:09,984
She read the Colonel's book,
284
00:12:10,373 --> 00:12:14,343
combined his exercises
with her love of music,
285
00:12:14,349 --> 00:12:17,028
and aerobics as we know it was born.
286
00:12:17,034 --> 00:12:20,034
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
287
00:12:21,935 --> 00:12:24,015
Under the guidance of the Colonel,
288
00:12:24,021 --> 00:12:26,555
Jackie taught aerobics
to the military wives,
289
00:12:26,561 --> 00:12:28,125
and they freaking loved it.
290
00:12:28,131 --> 00:12:30,227
And so aerobics fever spread
291
00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:33,240
from the military bases
to the community centers.
292
00:12:33,246 --> 00:12:36,113
Then a woman named Jane Fonda
293
00:12:36,119 --> 00:12:39,728
built an all-female
aerobics gym in Los Angeles.
294
00:12:39,734 --> 00:12:42,307
She was approached by a producer,
295
00:12:42,509 --> 00:12:46,597
and together they created
the first home-fitness video,
296
00:12:46,603 --> 00:12:49,394
and a billion-dollar industry was born.
297
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,764
Looks like the Colonel was
forced out of that deal! Ya!
298
00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:55,097
- (LAUGHTER)
- Ladies and gentlemen of the G8,
299
00:12:55,103 --> 00:12:57,206
today you have a chance
to buy a piece of history
300
00:12:57,212 --> 00:12:59,335
never before seen by the public.
301
00:12:59,341 --> 00:13:03,651
I present to you The
Beginning of Aerobics!
302
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,127
(AUDIENCE GASPING AND MURMURING)
303
00:13:05,133 --> 00:13:07,639
The footage that launched a movement,
304
00:13:07,645 --> 00:13:11,692
the research that built an industry.
305
00:13:13,644 --> 00:13:15,348
- Yeah!
- (APPLAUSE) Yeah!
306
00:13:15,354 --> 00:13:17,068
- Alright!
- Whoo!
307
00:13:19,770 --> 00:13:22,415
The bidding will commence momentarily.
308
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:26,610
Oh...
309
00:13:26,616 --> 00:13:29,041
- Oh! Mm!
- Mm. Thanks.
310
00:13:29,047 --> 00:13:30,331
(SIGHING)
311
00:13:30,337 --> 00:13:31,626
Hey, you can't be back here.
312
00:13:31,632 --> 00:13:33,233
Oh, mm, well, here we are.
313
00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,208
I'm impressed, GI-Joe.
314
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:38,341
You managed to bring all the
top gym chains under one roof.
315
00:13:38,347 --> 00:13:39,643
Wouldn't it be a shame if these
316
00:13:39,649 --> 00:13:41,795
powerful franchises
found out that your father
317
00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:45,090
put up $8 million to the winning
gym of this year's aerobics finals?
318
00:13:45,096 --> 00:13:47,888
Honey, what do you suppose
they would do if they found out?
319
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,956
I think they'd probably
create super teams
320
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,114
with their top members
and then crush you.
321
00:13:52,490 --> 00:13:54,490
That's what I would do.
That's what we're doing.
322
00:13:54,496 --> 00:13:56,583
Yeah, but if there's more
people in the competition,
323
00:13:56,589 --> 00:13:58,503
then it's harder for
you to win our money.
324
00:13:58,509 --> 00:13:59,709
I'll tell you what.
325
00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,970
I'll give you a dollar
for what's in the box,
326
00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:06,798
or I will blow your $8-million secret.
327
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:08,570
(CACKLING)
328
00:14:08,576 --> 00:14:10,395
Looks like you've been blowing squid.
329
00:14:10,401 --> 00:14:12,304
(CLAUDIA LAUGHING)
330
00:14:15,948 --> 00:14:17,148
Excuse me!
331
00:14:17,636 --> 00:14:20,568
- I have some big news to share.
- Uh, sold!
332
00:14:20,868 --> 00:14:23,688
- To the Metrix for an undisclosed amount.
- (EXCLAMATIONS)
333
00:14:23,694 --> 00:14:25,102
- What?!
- No, it was one dollar.
334
00:14:25,108 --> 00:14:27,602
- Ha! Suck it, G8!
- One dollar?!
335
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,399
- This is bullshit!
- But wait...!
336
00:14:30,405 --> 00:14:32,797
- That is so unethical!
- (GENERAL DISSENT)
337
00:14:35,713 --> 00:14:37,716
Good luck explaining this one.
338
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:49,093
You sold all of our hard work and
your dad's legacy for one dollar?
339
00:14:49,380 --> 00:14:53,078
Guys, being a business
owner is very complicated.
340
00:14:53,084 --> 00:14:55,491
There are a lot of moving
parts. Back me up on this, Mom.
341
00:14:55,993 --> 00:14:59,815
No? Okay, fine. You want
to know the real truth?
342
00:14:59,821 --> 00:15:02,049
- When my dad died, he also left us...
- A huge mess,
343
00:15:02,055 --> 00:15:04,722
and we're dealing with it
privately. No, the reason...
344
00:15:05,214 --> 00:15:07,153
that we only fetched a dollar
345
00:15:07,159 --> 00:15:10,651
for the footage is that one
of you had an assault charge.
346
00:15:11,604 --> 00:15:13,618
Oh, dear, you're all delinquents.
347
00:15:13,935 --> 00:15:15,841
Well, this time, it would be you, Tina.
348
00:15:16,427 --> 00:15:18,856
She choked Barry, and he was
gonna throw the book at her,
349
00:15:18,862 --> 00:15:20,435
so we had to sell to him
350
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:24,095
otherwise, she would've been
disqualified or even arrested.
351
00:15:24,101 --> 00:15:26,804
I'm so sorry, everyone,
for letting you down. It
352
00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:30,698
just felt so good to watch
the air leave Barry's body.
353
00:15:30,704 --> 00:15:34,376
Well, you're with Fitness by Force
now, and we take care of our own.
354
00:15:34,565 --> 00:15:37,784
But, of course, the bad news
is, we-we can't pay you just yet.
355
00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:40,790
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
356
00:15:46,415 --> 00:15:47,760
Oh, my man.
357
00:15:50,424 --> 00:15:52,933
It is upsetting how
easily you can lie, Mom.
358
00:15:52,939 --> 00:15:54,535
They deserve to know the truth.
359
00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:58,350
Do you really think I'm going
to let you give away my money?
360
00:15:58,356 --> 00:16:01,053
If it were your money,
you'd have it right now.
361
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,051
Can I borrow 20 bucks for gas?
362
00:16:07,043 --> 00:16:08,574
(UP-TEMPO MUSIC)
363
00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:09,951
Honey, sit down.
364
00:16:09,957 --> 00:16:11,746
It took an entire day
365
00:16:11,752 --> 00:16:14,479
to find someone who can
convert these files to video.
366
00:16:15,030 --> 00:16:17,537
$5000 later...
367
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,350
Money is no object, my queen.
368
00:16:19,356 --> 00:16:21,075
This could be a
game-changer for the Metrix.
369
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,538
We could create
super-humans for the NFL,
370
00:16:23,544 --> 00:16:25,671
the military, Dancing With the Stars!
371
00:16:25,677 --> 00:16:29,052
Here we are, the beginning of a new era.
372
00:16:29,058 --> 00:16:31,481
This is the game-changer.
373
00:16:31,487 --> 00:16:34,487
Maybe the Colonel was
creating super-athlete mutants.
374
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,792
He's like the original Professor Xavier.
375
00:16:36,965 --> 00:16:38,614
- Okay, Janet...
- (JANET SCREAMING)
376
00:16:38,805 --> 00:16:40,005
That's... that's the mother.
377
00:16:40,011 --> 00:16:42,494
Eyes on target, deep breath.
378
00:16:42,599 --> 00:16:45,294
Our son is almost here.
379
00:16:45,574 --> 00:16:48,799
- No, no! No! No!
- Oh! Okay.
380
00:16:48,805 --> 00:16:50,584
- Deliver the payload.
- I hate you!
381
00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:52,310
- Oh, t-t-turn it off!
- (BABY CRYING)
382
00:16:52,316 --> 00:16:54,006
These files cost a lot
of money to convert.
383
00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:55,607
You know, Sloppy Joe
is gonna pay for this!
384
00:16:55,613 --> 00:17:00,271
I will go, because I want
you to stay out of jail.
385
00:17:01,364 --> 00:17:02,569
What am I supposed to do?
386
00:17:03,176 --> 00:17:04,468
Keep bouncing.
387
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,901
_
388
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:11,965
Everything you touch
falls apart, literally.
389
00:17:11,971 --> 00:17:13,964
You're like a contagious virus.
390
00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:16,763
The airborne patient
zero of cluster[BLEEP]s.
391
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:19,785
Yeah, but how do I turn
that skill into money?
392
00:17:20,531 --> 00:17:22,667
The footage of your birth.
393
00:17:23,641 --> 00:17:24,841
_
394
00:17:25,163 --> 00:17:26,670
- The beginning.
- Mmm.
395
00:17:26,676 --> 00:17:29,848
Oh, the beginning of my life! Right.
396
00:17:30,651 --> 00:17:32,996
Oh, that means... Ah...
397
00:17:33,266 --> 00:17:35,950
You saw my mom's vagina. Oh!
398
00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:38,052
Ah, it's been a week.
399
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,258
(LAUGHING)
400
00:17:39,264 --> 00:17:42,838
These are the video files
we had converted for $5000.
401
00:17:43,525 --> 00:17:44,931
We're gonna need to be paid back.
402
00:17:44,937 --> 00:17:47,344
I have one dollar to my name,
and you know where that came from.
403
00:17:49,053 --> 00:17:50,385
Hand it over.
404
00:17:50,585 --> 00:17:51,785
Okay.
405
00:17:52,388 --> 00:17:53,588
Cha-ching.
406
00:17:53,766 --> 00:17:56,204
Nice doing business with you, Mr. Force.
407
00:17:56,912 --> 00:17:58,112
(SIGHS)
408
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,031
Business.
409
00:18:00,392 --> 00:18:02,852
Oh, holy shit. Hey, Claudia?
410
00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:05,188
Wait, wait, wait!
Claudia! I have an idea.
411
00:18:05,194 --> 00:18:06,579
Oh, I already don't like it.
412
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,549
If the Metrix wins the aerobics finals,
413
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:10,292
- then you win $8 million.
- Correct.
414
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,155
But if I win, you get nothing.
415
00:18:12,161 --> 00:18:15,077
- Also correct, but highly improbable.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.
416
00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:17,005
What if I could guarantee
417
00:18:17,503 --> 00:18:20,378
that you walk away with
$4 million, no matter what?
418
00:18:21,117 --> 00:18:22,317
You and me.
419
00:18:22,323 --> 00:18:23,732
Business partners.
420
00:18:23,876 --> 00:18:26,490
I will sell you half of
Fitness by Force for...
421
00:18:26,685 --> 00:18:28,170
50 grand.
422
00:18:30,262 --> 00:18:31,550
Why would I do that?
423
00:18:31,556 --> 00:18:33,171
Because you can't pass up a good deal.
424
00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:35,385
Four million on 50 grand.
425
00:18:35,475 --> 00:18:38,182
That's like... hedging your bets.
426
00:18:40,342 --> 00:18:42,177
And a live audience
does have a soft spot
427
00:18:42,183 --> 00:18:43,977
for a loveable underdog loser.
428
00:18:44,192 --> 00:18:45,392
(GROANS)
429
00:18:45,398 --> 00:18:47,204
But as much as I'd like
to take advantage of you...
430
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,900
- Please do. Anytime.
- financially... it's not gonna happen.
431
00:18:49,906 --> 00:18:51,283
- Just let me know. Seriously, whenever.
- Not, physically,
432
00:18:51,289 --> 00:18:53,706
- that won't happen. Please stop.
- Okay. Just let me know.
433
00:18:53,889 --> 00:18:55,133
You're right.
434
00:18:55,588 --> 00:18:58,510
That's a calculated risk the
Metrix could definitely take.
435
00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:01,400
Oh, whoa, no. Not the Metrix, just you.
436
00:19:01,406 --> 00:19:03,944
This is a secret deal between you and I.
437
00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:07,138
Well, the Metrix,
Barry and I are a unit.
438
00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:08,597
For now.
439
00:19:09,385 --> 00:19:11,065
Oh, I see what this is. No.
440
00:19:11,071 --> 00:19:13,559
No, Claudia. Barry is unraveling.
441
00:19:13,565 --> 00:19:15,379
You will lose.
442
00:19:15,385 --> 00:19:17,161
If you help me out right now,
443
00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:20,069
I swear I will never tell another soul.
444
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:21,848
And then you won't be responsible
445
00:19:21,854 --> 00:19:25,833
for my sad, slow, eventual death
at a Mexican-Irish dive bar.
446
00:19:25,839 --> 00:19:28,956
Stop that. I already hate the
part of me that feels bad for you.
447
00:19:29,473 --> 00:19:33,006
If you help me out right now, I
promise I will leave you alone for...
448
00:19:33,012 --> 00:19:34,212
a while.
449
00:19:34,218 --> 00:19:37,182
(UP-TEMPO MUSIC)
450
00:19:37,675 --> 00:19:39,582
- Okay, Janet.
- (JANET SCREAMING)
451
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:42,084
- Deep breath. Our son...
- (JANET SCREAMING)
452
00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:45,576
? Oh, I got the checks,
I got the checks ?
453
00:19:45,582 --> 00:19:48,719
? I got the checks. Yeah! ?
454
00:19:48,725 --> 00:19:50,180
? I got the checks! ?
455
00:19:50,186 --> 00:19:52,410
Are you gonna tell us
how you got this money?
456
00:19:52,416 --> 00:19:54,017
Come on, we're Fitness by Force.
457
00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:55,787
We take care of our own, huh?
458
00:19:55,793 --> 00:19:57,421
Alright, let's go practice.
459
00:19:57,427 --> 00:20:00,126
I gotta admit, Joe, I really didn't
think you'd come through on this.
460
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:02,497
- Oh, thank you.
- Speaking of coming through,
461
00:20:02,503 --> 00:20:05,300
my man, your birth was...
something to behold.
462
00:20:05,306 --> 00:20:07,432
We're not gonna speak
of that again, okay?
463
00:20:07,814 --> 00:20:11,011
- Let's practice.
- Yeah. Let's do it to it.
464
00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:18,366
Ice-cream cake vape, where
are you at, baby? Huh?
465
00:20:18,829 --> 00:20:21,033
Vape pen, vape pen.
466
00:20:21,039 --> 00:20:23,452
Ah, boomshalaka, there you are.
467
00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:26,314
Alright, Joseph, you sit right there.
468
00:20:26,508 --> 00:20:28,126
Are you ready, son?
469
00:20:28,219 --> 00:20:31,410
This is a never-before-seen
aerobics move
470
00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:33,153
that I want to share with you.
471
00:20:33,797 --> 00:20:37,819
I call it the F16 Tomcat.
472
00:20:37,825 --> 00:20:41,712
Someday it will be all yours.
473
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,624
(BREATHING AND GRUNTING)
474
00:20:47,904 --> 00:20:50,006
That shit's for real.
475
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:53,231
And that's how it's done, my boy.
476
00:20:54,158 --> 00:20:57,559
Guys!! Come back now!!
477
00:20:58,965 --> 00:21:00,957
On the next Let's Get Physical:
478
00:21:00,963 --> 00:21:04,147
Dr. Arnold, he's the first and
last name in aerobics attire.
479
00:21:04,153 --> 00:21:05,529
He invented Lycra.
480
00:21:05,535 --> 00:21:09,575
This feels like a very unnecessary
step in the whole process.
481
00:21:09,581 --> 00:21:11,962
Which one of us is the
doctor who invented Lycra?
482
00:21:11,968 --> 00:21:13,576
- You...
- (POWER SHUTTING DOWN)
483
00:21:14,391 --> 00:21:16,597
- Goddammit.
- Hello, Mr. Cross.
484
00:21:16,603 --> 00:21:18,205
Shall we play a game?
485
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:23,211
Sync & corrections by PetaG
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486
00:21:23,261 --> 00:21:27,811
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